“Whoever Lusts” - Part I

Well this morning we we are actually continuing on with Matthew 5 and we'll be looking at verses 27 and 28

This is part one of what will conclude Lord willing next week with verses 29 and 30 and as it's part one

We're gonna be a little more general than perhaps will be next week there's still gonna be all sorts of practical advice that I hope you'll be able to apply into your lives, but I Want you to realize we are being a little more general than we'll be next week next week

We'll sort of drill down into some some actually concrete applications that are far more specific and I think far more practical

But in order to do that, well, we really need to build a strong foundation and that's what I hope to do this morning

And so we are looking at Matthew 5 27 and 28 as we shift now to the second antitheses remember in the

Sermon on the Mount and we've come through the Beatitudes and Jesus explanation or Prelude into how the law relates to the kingdom

We understand that now he's moving forward to a series of six antitheses you have heard it of old but I say to you and here we see

Jesus using his authority as The Lord of the Sabbath as the Lord of the law the lawgiver himself

Not innovating or establishing something new but revealing what has truly been given by God And so with Matthew 5 27 and 28 we begin the second antitheses

You have heard that it was said to those of old you shall not commit adultery

But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart

All right, Matthew 5 27 and 28 So Jesus quotes the seventh commandment you shall not commit adultery that's from Exodus 2014 as Jesus clarifies what the commandment forbids

He explains that to even look at a woman with lust is to already commit adultery

With her in the heart this is the same way as we saw in the first antitheses to Look at a brother out of anger to have anger in the heart is the same as to murder him

In other words the the seed may for many reasons not come to fruition, but it is still the same act therefore

Still the same transgression. It still breaks the commandment of God So Jesus stresses that this transgression even though it falls short of action has nonetheless taken place

It's it's not occurred relationally, but it has occurred in the heart in the heart.

There is a genuine motive the motive lacks opportunity But there nevertheless is a motive and that motive may not come to fruition because there's a fear of consequence

But it's a real motive and it really breaks the commandment of God. This is not a sarcastic exaggeration

Jesus is not speaking Hyperbolically, he's not saying well, can you imagine if this was really the case?

This really is the case It really does break the commandment of God John Owen in his tremendous book and I'll be referencing this a lot

Over over the morning as well as next week mortification of sin or John Owen Really takes the surgeon's scalpel into putting sin to death

Overcoming sin in our lives. In fact, it was the the great Scotsman rabbi

Duncan who when he would pass out the copy of John Owens mortification to his students would say gentlemen prepare for the knife

In other words some things are gonna get lopped off and you're gonna have to plunge this knife into your life and it's gonna be painful, but it will bring a good end and John Owen in mortification of sin says sin always aims at the

Utmost again, we're connecting even the thought even the motive to the actual transgression of the command sin always aims at the utmost Every unclean thought or glance would be adultery if it could be every covetous desire would become

Oppression every thought of unbelief would become atheism if it could be grown to its height

That's exactly what Jesus is saying here in these antitheses. I Say to you whoever looks at a woman to lust at her has already committed adultery full stop

That's what Jesus is saying Now the verb for lust here

In the Greek it's an interesting term there's a few different terms that that could have been used and Jesus uses a

Greek verb that Doesn't usually depict only lost but can speak of just any sort of strong desire that the

Greek verb here is epithet Oh a strong desire an intense desire a passion This can be used negatively or positively a strong desire to seek after the

Lord that that would be the same verb here And perhaps that's very intentional that we understand what a strong desire should be toward and what it should not be toward now here

It's very important the seventh commandment God forbidding adultery Jesus by using this verb.

I'm convinced. It's connecting it intentionally to the tenth commandment a Tenth commandment is you shall not covet

You shall not desire what does not belong to you. You shall be content with what things you have

You shouldn't desire your neighbor's house nor his wife nor his male servant or his female servant or his ox nor his nor his donkey

Nor the stranger within his house, right? You shall not covet and so with with this verb

We actually have the tenth commandment framed in view because that word covet is the same word in the

Greek So in the Septuagint in the Greek translation of the Hebrew, that's that's the verb that's used

You shall not strongly desire you shall not covet here We could almost say I say to you whoever looks at a woman to covet her has already committed adultery

So here we have the idea of lusts or adulterous desire being connected with covetousness the tenth commandment

It's the same word in Galatians 5 17 the desires the covetings the strong passions of the flesh are against the spirit and The desires same verb strong passions strong desires

Strong covetings the desires of the spirit are against the flesh and these two things are opposed to each other

In fact, if you take the time to look at any number of scriptures You'll find that where sexual morality is in view where lust is in view.

It's often not far from covetousness Hebrews 13 4 and 5 this is one of many examples

Marriage is honorable among all in the bed undefiled but fornicators adulterers

God will judge Let your conduct be without covetousness We read that often as if he's gone on to the next topic

But again, there's this link between the idea of covetousness and sexual immorality

The tenth commandment deals with desire in this way. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife

Isn't that what Jesus is saying here in Matthew 5 27 and 28 the early church ever ever since This issue came to the fore the early church has spent a lot of time theologizing and the the impact of that theology in terms of transforming the

Roman Empire a Culture that was suffused with sexual immorality and by the time

Christ was enthroned in people's lives and and whole cities began to be turned inside out

You find that actually there's a massive shift away from any sort of sexual impropriety That where Christianity had allowed its salt and its light to flourish

There was all sorts of new measures passed and how one was to regard Marriage how to regard a neighbor.

It wasn't just the Coliseum's that closed down but even the brothels and so the the medieval theologians

Especially they began to have a special term for this covetous desire as it related to desiring another person sexually and that term is concupiscence very fancy term

And the issue that they wrestled with is of course, there is a healthy desire in this way

But there's also aspects of it that are sinful and how do you distinguish between what is right? And what is sinful when is it right to have this desire a desire found say in song of songs?

desire from the beloved for the beloved And so in the same way you have to wrestle through when in what does this desire look like when it's right?

When in what does this desire look like when it's wrong? And and sometimes we literally press into the when when is it right?

It's a lot about timing as much as about object about relationship But we have to begin with the right in order to establish what is wrong

We have to lay down what is true What is good what is upright in accords with God's design if we can then look at the deviation the straying the transgression?

The the mutilation of what God has given us So the problem and we're gonna begin here.

The problem is not God's good design That is not the problem What God designed

God declared good very good The problem is not God's design. The problem is not the goodness of desire when it follows

God's design That's not the problem. The problem is not desire When it follows

God's design, it's a good desire. It's a good thing. God declared it good We may blush when we understand some of the poetic metaphor and song of song

God doesn't blush. He created it He revels in it The problem again is not

God's design nor a good desire that follows God's design The problem is the disorder of that design.

The problem is the perversion of that desire. That's the problem We always begin with the good design before we examine and reject its malformation

Its abuse it's very important that we do that practically don't begin with what's wrong

Begin with what is meant to be right then you can actually understand what has gone wrong Physical intimacy is not merely permissible and we shouldn't speak of it in that way

He'll just okay. I guess I'll allow this I guess I'll give you a few conditions in which this desire can be satisfied physical intimacy is not merely permissible

We shouldn't approach it like it's some loophole some strange thing that belongs to humanity

Something that should be spoken about in hushed tones. No God designed it God blessed it

God gave it as a gift to be enjoyed but a joyed according to his design

Which is within marriage Ian to good in his introduction to his commentary on the song of songs

He says when the Shulamite in the song dreams of her lover She does not imagine them sharing an inductive

Bible study and praying together in other words, there's there's nothing less holy

About the intimate desire in song of songs and say desiring after a

Bible study in a strong prayer life together This is as holy as good as blessed as the other we have to begin there

She's daydreaming not about a Bible study and praying together She's dreaming about her lovers embrace and it's precisely this desire that her community the daughters of Jerusalem are actually

Celebrating now, of course song of songs is is written as love poetry But we understand it's it's in it's in the

Word of God as a canon because it does Preview in portend the love between the church and Christ according to that beautiful Ephesians 5 imagery

Some of which we'll discuss next week So the problem is not God's good design or even the goodness of desire that follows his design

The problem is when God given God Oriented desire becomes out of bounds.

It becomes disordered It begins to rule in our mind in our affections and in our will rather than God Ordering and ruling in our mind in our affections in our will which allows that desire to be in its proper place at its proper time as the

Ed Carson rightly says what Jesus exposes in these verses is not a prohibition of the normal attraction which exists between men and women but of the deep -seated lust which consumes and devours which mentally contemplates and therefore commits adultery

Jesus speaks these words into our world Jesus speaks these words into a world submerged into lust the first John 2 says all that is in the world the lust of the flesh the lust of the eyes the

Pride of life. It's of the world not of the father We live in a world

Parallel with the fall as first John 2 is actually parallel with the fall the woman saw the tree was good for food

That's a desire of the flesh pleasant to the eyes. That's the lust of the flesh The lust of the eyes and a tree to be desired to make one wise.

That's the pride of life We live in a world parallel with the fall We live in a world submerged into the lust of the flesh the lust of the eyes the pride of life

And is this still a timely message to hear? Well, haven't we all been somewhat stunned of the events even a few weeks ago.

We're not perhaps as stunned when some Health and wealth preacher has some moral collapse and abandons their ministry

But when if we could put it this way when one of our own falls How many ministries have fallen in the disgrace of sexual sin just in the past five years?

It's it's stunning. It's stunning Lust has become a way of life in our culture

There's absolutely no shame about it at all In fact, if you can monetize it more power to you If you can gain a platform out of it more power to you

Lust has become an absolute way of life a way of doing commerce even and therefore

Jesus calling these verses is all the more Jarring and costly especially as next week as we drill into some of the details

Jesus has some stark words to say about what it requires to enter the kingdom It requires as it were the same force and willfulness to maim yourself to gouge the eye to cut the arm

That's where we're going Jesus words are costly. Jesus words are challenging.

Jesus words are not to be taken lightly Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery in his heart

Let no man think as John Owen says he has made any progress in holiness who does not walk over the bellies of his lust

For not putting sin to death as Owen would say sin is putting us to death so There's a call in these verses and that's how

I want to frame Some of our application this morning again being very general in order to build a foundation for where we're going next week

And I want to frame that in at the beginning here to two ways. First. There's a call to men as Beholders the call to the beholders and I'll explain that in a moment and secondly, we'll address the ladies with those that are being beheld

There's a there is a call to those that are beheld and I like this I like this dynamic of thinking of men and masculinity as that which beholds and thinking of women and femininity is that which is

Beheld I think that's very helpful and I think it accords very well with the way that God created us

Adam of course was not created to be beheld by donkeys and oxen

He was alone the first time that God said something isn't good But he he recognized in that not being good there was a second helper a

Counterpart to be given to Adam and so out of Adam out of the the Adams Rivenside came forth a bride now

Adam who alone in creation had been left to himself had an Equal had one that his heart could praise and delight in one that he could behold and in beholding her

He he sprung out into song. He was absolutely beside himself He had found the very flesh of his flesh the very bone of his bones and they became one

So Adam was the beholder of Eve and Eve was created in many ways to be beheld

By Adam and this ever forth has been the dynamic that God intends between a husband and his wife becoming one flesh

So speaking to men as those who behold The Westminster Confession of Faith, I actually think is very helpful or I should say the larger catechism question 138 where it's going over the duties

Required by the Seventh Commandment I'm not going to touch on all of them, but on several of them So the answer given is again what duties are required by the

Seventh Commandment? Here's the answer the duties required in the Seventh Commandment are chastity in body mind affections words behavior

To be chaste to be pure in the way that we think in the way that we react in the way that we speak in the way that we carry ourselves

The preservation of it in ourselves and in others you do what you can to help Others be chaste in these very ways watchfulness over the eyes and all of the senses temperance the keeping of chaste company in other words a good company

Reinforces good morals bad company corrupts good morals Modesty in apparel

Marriage by those who don't have the gift of continency in other words those who aren't able to Endure a life of singleness or celibacy

Conjugal love and cohabitation that's belonging to marriage diligent labor in our callings shunning every occasion of uncleanness

Resisting temptations thereunto those last two points. We're really going to drill into next week But let me pull out several of these that I think are important first Watchfulness over the eyes and the senses.

This is a call to beholder and what are beholders do they look? they behold

They look with their eyes. They see with their imagination And if Jesus is addressing anyone he's addressing men that behold if any man looks that's what he's addressing

And so keep a watch over your eyes and over your senses Your senses play into your sight your senses play into your imagination

In fact, the more involved your senses are the more Energized your imagination becomes it becomes charged with what you've experienced bodily

And sometimes our our sight is actually charged with the memories of other physical sensations

So it's not just the eyes that we guard but indeed all of our senses Remember what Job said when he's recounting his sort of defense claim

Against the accusations of his brethren surely There's some sin in your life and he's going and he's surveying every aspect of his life to say no to even here

I don't really find any guilt or any offense before God and one of the things he says in 31 is listen

I made a covenant with my eyes Why would I look then at a young virgin? Why would I look at a young maiden?

So you say even Job even this this ancient brother as it were Understands the significance of guarding his eyes and he puts it in covenantal language

I made a covenant with my eyes that I wouldn't look that I wouldn't behold that I wouldn't allow my Imagination to stir that I wouldn't allow my glance to drift that I wouldn't allow my thoughts to linger or my reaction to somehow imprison me you find a

John Bunyan in this Book that deserves to be as I think popular as Pilgrim's Progress, but holy war some years ago

I began reading through that with Joshua Harris and he was championing and I had never heard of it it was tremendous and in holy war

John Bunyan gives an Allegory of the fall of man. He has this this town called man's soul and the whole

Story of holy war is about the sort of fall of man's soul The sort of Prince Diabolus the devil who comes and deceives them and they fall and they they now lash out in rebellion against the

Prince Emanuel Against the good king of that land and in their rebellion

Of course throughout the storyline that the prince undertakes to save them again and so you see man's soul as it was created and Then as it fell and then as Prince Emanuel does what is necessary to restore it

It's a beautiful allegory that has all sorts of insight into scripture But one of the things he does is he allegorizes that the city of man's soul as a body

And so you have eye gate and ear gate and mouth gate And as sin assaults as temptation comes you see that different Reinforcements are needed at the eye gate or at the ear gate or so on very very insightful

And we need to understand our bodies in that way to Scripture likes to speak of our eyes as windows likes to speak of our eyes as gates

If you were living in the ancient world that the gates were your primary defense mechanism You can close those gates in the city that is walled remains secure

The gates are the weakest point if you were going to besiege a city you would put all of your assault works

Toward the gates if the gates can hold the city will hold but if the gates fail

Then everything else will be lost in a matter of time Thus we see as Calvin says the eyes are like torches that inflame our hearts to lust

Senses readily embrace the occasions of sin which are presented to them and they convey it to the mind

If we could think of the mind as the citadel what you allow through your gates is eventually going to topple that citadel

So you have to put a guard at your senses at your eyes you keep a watch Wherefore let everyone endeavor sedulously to govern his eyes

Calvin says his ears Unless he wishes to open so many doors to Satan to the innermost affections of his heart

Too often we allow the gates brothers too often. We allow the gates unlocked Wide open and we think we'll we'll make a rally at the citadel.

It's too late. It's too late You take your stand not at the very end of the battle

But before it ever begins you take your stand at the gates keep a watch over them and recognize this

Sight enables imagination and so men especially have to be conscious of the way their eyes are enabling sinful thoughts

That's why Job made a covenant with his eyes Our eyes allow us to create and retain images and feelings

That ought to belong in marriage alone, and sometimes they don't even belong in marriage frankly

Guard the gates of your very soul your eyes your ears your senses you recognize that whatever you don't feed will starve

Whatever you don't feed will starve and so you don't keep allowing fuel into imagination that is polluted

You cut off the supply you close the gates as it were whatever doesn't allow food through will eventually starve out the corruption within It's another image that comes from the siege works

All right You would surround and besiege a city and you're essentially cutting off vital supplies and a food and water and other things can't be

Wrought in the city in a matter of time. It will be destroyed Well in that sense if you have a corrupted mind if you have a stained conscience

You need to cut off the supply allow it to starve. Whatever. You don't feed will starve Be watchful of your eyes in your senses part of this relates to what we considered even last week

How do we regard one another? How do we think of one another? first Timothy 5

Rebuke not an older man and treat him like a father And with younger men like brothers with older women like mothers with the younger as sisters with all purity

It's the first qualification we get in that list treat everyone in the church like this like you're related to them like they're a sibling

If they're older than you treat them like a mother or a father But notice what he says about young women brothers treat them like sisters with all purity with all purity

How do you regard your sisters? not as sisters or as sisters with all purity

Keeping chase company second point drawn from question 138 keeping chase company If you would guard your thoughts you have to guard your companions

And now some of this is out of your hands right who you work with and I worked at a factory for seven years I worked with long -haul truckers coming from all parts

Midwest and West and Heard words that I didn't even know were vulgar. You know things that I was like,

I don't even want to look that up I don't even want to know what that means So sometimes you can't control the people that you're around but I would argue you can control your companions

Who you happen to be around is different than who you walk with Keeping chase company is necessary.

If you would keep your life chaste Guarding your thoughts means also guarding your conversations guarding your imagination doesn't mean just guarding your eye gate

But guarding your ear gate what things are spoken about how are people spoken about how our experience is spoken about around you?

This also can corrupt your imagination In that sense brothers be very mindful of what you're allowing your ear gates to welcome it's not just physical companions, but even the companions of podcasts and films and music themes lyrics

Conversations memories that are being relayed these things too are allowing the gates open to the

Citadel Now this doesn't mean just simply shunning but as we say keep chase company, so it's not just The relationships you're avoiding in order to maintain a life of purity.

It's also the relationships you're building You don't simply put off relationships that will make it difficult for you to remain pure You actually pour time in building relationships that will help you keep pure that will reinforce your desire to be chased before the

Lord And so you question and even within the church what relationships will help me to pursue holiness

What relationships do I need to invest in that will help me to walk straight? upright pleasing to the

Lord The third point we're being very brief here again, very general third point.

I draw from 138 is the usefulness of marriage very important Marriage as they say marriage conjugal love cohabitation.

This too is given as a means for men to walk in purity We have in 1st

Corinthians 7 Because of sexual immorality notice what Paul is saying because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband and let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her and Likewise also the wife to her husband.

So this is Paul's very practical engagement with the need for marriage as a defense against sexual immorality if If it's because of sexual morality, let the husband and wife be affectionate to each other

That's what he says. Let them marry and let them give proper affection to each other and this is because of sexual immorality

Now the problem in marriage is so often when there is sexual morality it actually blows up The affection that is shown between a husband and a wife

Where there is a struggle rather than using 1st Corinthians 7 that great insight as a recourse to improvement or to help

It actually makes following 1st Corinthians 7 very difficult So where there's a struggle with sexual morality a husband may feel like I really need to run and retreat to to my wife

But maybe he's not treating it with affection in that way. He's simply wanting to pursue her as a means to an end

I don't want to struggle in this way. So I'm gonna kind of pour myself out toward my wife. Meanwhile, she's running away

She's getting the fire hose and get away from me But there's not any affection being shown you're treating me as a means to an end and all of a sudden you see that Even avoiding sexual morality has caused dysfunction in conjugal love and cohabitation in other words

The marriage is not running as it ought to but notice what Paul is saying in some ways

He's saying listen, the best defense is a strong offense The best defense is a strong offense

Don't don't you get that sense and reading Song of Songs. It's like This man is absolutely obsessed with the

Shulamite who else is he gonna look to? Who else is he daydreaming about who else is he writing about?

He's drunk with love you could almost say and in that sense that the hooks of temptation aren't really able to pierce him

And so marriage is meant to be a defense against sexual immorality in this way that doesn't put pressure on a wife

In a way that somehow the husband's sins become her sins because she's not showing due affection.

No, no, no But rather it does say that there's a there's an immunization that comes with marital affection and So in the general way that you occupy your lives together

Recognize that one of the ways you'll be able to walk in purity is by simply enjoying the gift as it's given in marriage

But by showing affection and becoming intimate with one another regularly Scripture has a lot to say about that Paul seems almost to be blunt it you could almost take it offensively

Because of sexual morality just make sure you occupy yourself with your wife and it's kind of like well, it's not very romantic

Paul It's kind of blunt. It's kind of almost offensive, but Paul has a lot more to say about the theology of marriage here

He's just giving a really concrete piece of advice and you should remember that You can have a much more elaborate view and marriage means a lot more than this

But when it comes to walking in purity Paul's advice is don't withhold Be intimate be affectionate because of sexual immorality.

That's his advice Marriage is not treated merely pragmatically as If it's just about use

No, no, that's what lust does not what marriage does lust is about use Lust is about a means to an end

Marital intimacy is about a covenant about a commitment about two becoming one flesh

The stain of sexual morality works its way into marriage and that Lust is just applied to someone that you actually belong to rather than someone that you don't

But brothers we have to completely understand. There's a world apart between Lust and temptation sexually versus marital intimacy.

The two are like oil and water. They have nothing to do with each other C .s. Lewis makes this point so well

In writing his book the four loves he has this to say We use a most unfortunate idiom when we say of a lustful man prowling the streets.

He wants a woman All right, so someone who's lusting He's desiring he's burning with desire

You could say and Lewis says it's it's a very bad way that we speak about that man when we say he just wants a woman

Strictly speaking a woman is just what he does not want He wants a pleasure for which a woman happens to be necessary How much he cares about the woman as such can be gauged by his attitude to her five minutes after fruition

Trust you can read between the lines now Eros now here he's speaking of There's different words for love right a philia or agape love and there's

Eros a erotic desire erotic love Not not in some seedy Sort of gutter kind of way

But in some ways this intense romantic desire and he says Eros makes a man really want so the man who's

Burning and lost prowling the streets for anything to occupy himself with we say he wants a woman Lewis is saying no

He doesn't want a woman at all He wants a means to an end He doesn't want a woman but Eros desire the right desire that man really wants a woman

But not any woman one particular woman in some mysterious, but quite indisputable

Fashion Lewis says the lover desires the beloved herself. Not merely the pleasure she can give

That's the difference between lust and marital intimacy The lover desires the beloved the beholder desires the beheld

Not merely the pleasure that she offers Lust can only frame attraction as a glimpse

It's a moment divorced of all context lust frames attraction as a glimpse as a

Snapshot as a browser window you can close a few minutes later Not the whole there's not a context of a life lived of a soul formed of a life

Engaged a life that has had many different intersecting Relationships of one that belonged to one household without now is part of another of a life that continues on After even ever after beyond to a hope and a promise that is sure

Lust cuts off all of that and only wants to see in a moment in a glimpse in an encounter

It doesn't want to con consider anything prior nor anything after And so there's no sequence of life beforehand

There's certainly no sequence of life afterward all the entailments of the life are cut off by lust

There's simply an object. That's what lust does it objectifies a means to my desire a means to my end

Paul has a very deep theology of marriage If all he had to say was listen if you're struggling with sexual morality just get married

If that's all he had to say about marriage We would say he was very weak on his theology of marriage But Paul has a lot more to say about marriage, doesn't he?

In fact, one of the things he says is no one ever hated his own flesh but he nourishes it he cherishes it just as the

Lord does the church and We're members of his body of his flesh of his bones And for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother be joined to his wife

The two shall become one flesh and you see the relation between nourishing and cherishing the flesh

That now is actually one with you. That's the idea of marital intimacy Nourishing cherishing your own body

Because now your body has been joined to the body of another nourishing and cherishing one's body

Overlaps to the marital union in other words your body has in a real way become one

And we use this language when we exchange wedding vows, don't we if you explain if you exchange traditional wedding vows

We say to have and to hold We're living in a culture that wants to hold without having

Wants to cherish wants to nourish without actual commitment But the marriage vows say what they say for a reason first you must have if you would hold

You have you commit you become one with you dedicate yourself to and then you cherish then you nourish then you hold

To have and to hold to have the marital covenant then to hold to nourish to cherish

First is the commitment then is the communion. That's the picture that we get in marriage

Commitment requires at the very least affection and attention Paul says affection goes both ways but more properly physical affection is what men tend to desire and seek after in a marriage relationship whereas Physical attention and time and quality of attention is what a woman tends to desire in marriage

And so affection is given by both But it looks differently to both both as it were operate on slightly different fuel

And I would say this a husband who has affection for many other women Will struggle to maintain attention for his own wife okay, a man who's just on fire with desire a man who has affection for Anyone he can look at anyone he can think of a man who's struggling with affection for many women will struggle

We'll find it near impossible to maintain attention to his wife which is his part of showing affection to her and by the same token a wife who's seeking attention from All sorts of men a wife who wants to be noticed and and wants to as it were be

Flirtatious with all sorts of men will struggle to show affection to her husband And there you'll see the dysfunction that lost that desire has caused in the marital union

So Paul concedes marriage is a means to prevent sexual immorality in 1st Corinthians 7 if you're burning

Mary if you're burning and you are married be affectionate Don't don't don't treat it as simply

Breaking the glass case this sort of acts of emergency view it as this is why God created the marital union to become one flesh

A context in which the gifts can actually be enjoyed and it's meant to be enjoyed and it's a gift that keeps on giving fruit comes not only

Physically out of that union But there's all sorts of fruit that occupies your marriage as a result of becoming one and ever deeper in greater ways

However, let me just say as a caveat if in God's providence, you're not able to use this means All right, keeping chase company check ear gate.

I gate check marital conjugal cohabitation I'm not quite there yet. I'm single

I'm not quite there yet. I I Don't I don't have that as a means. Well, let me let me encourage you if in God's providence

You are not able to use this means There is still no excuse for breaking the seventh commandment

No quarters are given to lust no quarters are given for adultery in the heart

But let me let me encourage you God's providence In your life the fact that right now you are not married

God's providence in your life is more trustworthy Than your desires and your feelings God's providence is more trustworthy than your desires and your feelings you can trust him

He knows how you're feeling you better pray and let him know how you're feeling But you can trust him more than you can trust your own desires your own felt sense of need you can trust him

Christ is your example in this very way. Is he not? Did Christ not have red blood pumping through his veins

Was Christ not a man? Isn't it amazing that?

Christ could have prostitutes entering the kingdom and regard them purely as sisters.

Isn't that incredible? Christ is your example in this very way

He knew that his father's will his father's providence was more trustworthy than the constant temptations that he was surrounded by And so he jettisoned all things that would cause him to walk against his father and rather entrusted himself

To the guidance and provision of his father So Christ is your example and he's your pattern for holiness as he is for all of us whether we're married or not

Christ becomes our pattern now fourth and this might be especially helpful to those who are

Unmarried or single but it applies to married men as well and the fourth help or means is diligent labor

That's what the larger catechism says diligent labor. That's just very helpful work hard be tired

When you're lazy and slothful when you have a lot of free time on your hands, you'll tend to indulge yourself

You'll tend to pad your flesh You'll tend to find all sorts of opportunities to sin or to transgress if not

In your actions and at least in your mind So diligent labor always redeeming the time always seeking to to build on things that you can build on not being idle

Not being lazy not being passive David should have been out front leading his soldiers

He shouldn't have been on his palace rooftops looking for women that were bathing, right There's a problem when you're living in luxury when you have a lot of free time.

You'll just indulge yourself Rather than get out and fight get out and build get out and do something that is profitable

For your life and for the lives of the people you love and for the kingdom itself So that's we're gonna kind of leave it there in a park that there as far as the call to the beholders again

We've been very general next week will be very specific. I want to address The ladies as well the call to the beheld

There is a lust to behold that men struggle with a strong intense desire to behold men struggle with that But ladies struggle with the desire to be beheld

Ladies struggle with a lust to be noticed to be given attention to have an impact

Ladies struggle with that desire to be beheld and again You see this coming right out of its function of the fall God created man to behold woman and woman to be beheld by man and in that there would be this love and mutuality and the

Fall makes all of that go haywire So there's a desire that ladies struggle with often a desire to be desired and that's true prior to marriage, especially when they're more vulnerable more prone to try to Garner attention and in the hopes of gaining perhaps an opportunity for a relationship

But it's true in marriage as well If affection is not being shown if there's any sort of dysfunction often a woman in sinfulness will go seek attention elsewhere rather than Double down in prayerful humility and seeking after a husband who perhaps is not seeking her as she should she'll go seek attention elsewhere

As with lust there can always be some overlap But but generally there is a sin issue for a woman when it comes to being desired right again some men

Want attention as well that sinful some women struggle with lust in ways that men do but I'm generalizing here for a reason

Scripture would say to the ladies let your conduct be without covetousness Don't desire to be desired

When you already have one that God has given you to be your desire and to desire you don't desire to be desired by others

The problem again is not the good design of God or even the good desire that follows it

You're you're understanding your desire rightly you want attention given to you you want to feel that you're noticed

That's God's design for you to be beheld So the design is not wrong The problem is what sin has done to disorder that design to pervert it and make it go astray as we see from Jesus own

Words adultery in the heart begins with sight with looking sexual sin flows from the eyes to the imagination and therefore what is likely to feed the

Imagination is part of honoring the Lord and for ladies that means if my brothers are trying to reinforce the gates of their eyes

And keep a view of sisters that is pure I have to make sure that I'm not trying to storm their gates

That I'm not walking around their city of Mansoul seven times blowing horns by how

I'm carrying myself how I'm speaking or how I'm dressing What feeds the imagination is as much part of the seventh commandment as what stains the imagination?

And so that means a sister that is pure Not just a sister who wants to be treated as pure by her brothers, but a sister who is pure Will not willfully cause her brothers to stumble.

She just won't Maybe the furthest thing from her mind Cause my brother to stumble

She'll pursue the righteousness of Christ's kingdom by keeping the seventh and the tenth commandment.

She won't covet the attention of others She'll be content with what she's given Now for all the bluster that second wave feminism has made about the male gaze

Second second wave feminism has this preoccupation with the idea of what the male gaze how all media all arts are

Saturated with the point of view of men the male gaze women being offered to the male gaze and of course there

They're just not understanding creation theology as they should For all the bluster that second wave feminism has made about the male gaze.

There's a need for ladies to consider their appearance Now isn't it interesting in the ancient world around the times of the

New Testament? We read the pastorals you read Titus you read first Timothy Modesty to them means not flashing your wealth not flashing your status

Don't wear costly attire pearls gold earrings like all these things that would cause others in the assembly to feel rather poor compared to you

And you walk in with all the honor and stature of your wealth and you're allowing your wealth to be shown

And so you you jingle your Rolex watch you you know your auto start your Bugatti in the parking lot

And there's this way that you're sort of flaunting your wealth and scripture says against that no be modest be modest

All right, not costly attire or as now as a result of so much sexual perversion

Now we see that rather modesty is about actually presenting your body in a way

That's chased presenting and carrying yourself in a way that is pure Jesus teaching here in Matthew 5 demands that women consider what they're offering to the imagination of others

I And I have to give the all -important qualification I'm tempted not to frankly, but I'm going to give it anyway this in no way justifies or excuses the sin of men

This in no way justifies or excuses the sin of men when they look upon a woman inappropriately

But having said that neither does it automatically excuse you

Neither does it automatically exempt you before the Lord remember the Lord discerns even secret thoughts secret motives secret desires

I'll tell you something else that won't justify or excuse you before the Lord you convincing your husband that what you're wearing before the mirror

Is gonna be okay, and the husband's going. I don't know it seems a little form -fitting and oh come on It's ridiculous didn't you see what so -and -so was wearing last week.

I guess you're right God knows the secret thoughts the secret motives a General rule of thumb is if you have to ask you've had to ask for a reason your conscience is telling you something

Maybe your conscience needs to be informed Maybe you've come to the faith and you've come out of a world that essentially undresses itself publicly

And now you're for the first time encountered with this idea of modesty and maybe that's been hard to chew through Maybe that seems a little offensive a little

Arbitrary a little antiquated anything. What's the big deal here well Jesus seems to think it's a big deal

Because he says if men don't gouge out their eyes. They won't even make it into the kingdom That's a big deal, and it's not just a big deal to the men who are looking

It's a big deal to the women who are being looked at So be mindful sisters be mindful of what you put on others minds be mindful

Self -presentation is always communication. It's always been that way in all cultures. How you present yourself is what you're communicating to the world

There's a reason that the cultural influence of Christianity We think just a few centuries ago the cultural influence of Christianity Allowed there to be this heightened view of the dignity of man and coupled with the dignity of man was this hand -in -hand

Self -presentation all the sudden you have tailored shops on every corner everything has to be fitted

As unique as you are as unique as your clothes must be and everything was fitted and layered You watch old footage as some of you.

I know have we've talked about it footage from the 1910s or 1920s of some random City Street, San Francisco, Chicago, and you won't find a man or a woman.

That's not wearing layered clothing in the middle of summer It's July, and they're wearing four -piece suits

And they have vests under vests under vests and you're like were these people insane

This is the result of cultural influence from Christianity How you present yourself what you're displaying to the world how you're carrying yourself

And there was a certain propriety a certain dignity a certain respect that that commanded So self -presentation is communication now that doesn't mean that Victorian sensibilities are our standard

I'm not saying if only we can get back to five -piece suits in August. I'm not saying that Victorian standards are not what we're aiming for.

I'm simply pointing out. They were a symptom of light and salt in their day

Modesty and clothing was a symptom of the gospel advance in Victorian culture a symptom not a standard

So I'm not saying that ladies Godly attire is a poncho with high slits.

All right, just throw on that theme park poncho cut out some eye holes You'll never bother your brothers again.

Won't that won't you be holy? No, no. No again. You're made to be beheld made to be beheld

There's an adornment a feminine grace that God intends. It's beautiful and Yet that beauty is particularly concerned with one pair of eyes

And that one pair of eyes is who you are to present yourself You remember when Rebecca disclosed herself to Isaac?

She was all sort of tarped over riding on the cattle this grand entrance and and here

Isaac is awaiting his bride and and slowly all these layers are undone and here she is for her husband

In other words, if if the poncho with eye slits is not godly attire on the one hand

We also say that worldly attire is not what you ought to be aiming for either and worldly attire doesn't mean

You know a few extra inches Compared to what the world wears because the problem is the world's ever shrinking and tripling their size

So if you're if you're just two inches more than whatever the world is doing then you're already on a losing streak

The point is You're you to hold yourself with dignity to appear in a way that commands dignity and purity and respect

So there's modesty men's sins are their sins not yours, but you're mindful about what you're putting on their minds

You're thoughtful and intentional about helping brothers guard their eye gates and that's not just in how you dress

But even how you carry yourself how you communicate self -presentation is more than just dress, but it's not less than that It also means on the other hand you don't dress like the rest

There's something distinguishable about you in the way you carry yourself and clothing as a part of that Ephesians 2 2 in which you once walked

Paul's talking about Christians who once walked according to the course of the world There's a way that the world wants to go there's motives and goals of the world has and Paul says you once were walking in that way and It was according to the

Prince of the power of the air But one that wants to blow up marriage and cause men and women both to not enter the kingdom

We all once conducted ourselves in the lust of our flesh Paul says in the same passage We fulfilled the desires of our flesh and of our mind.

We were by nature children of wrath just like the others So Paul's saying listen now you're a

Christian now You're not all about fulfilling your lusts fulfilling your flesh fulfilling desires of your mind

Desires to behold desires to be beheld now. You're no longer like that. You're not like the others sisters and brothers as well, but sisters we we can say that a lot of time especially in a younger life a lot of time is wasted trying to be just like the others a

Lot of time a lot of money is wasted trying to be just like the others Paul says you're a

Christian your goal isn't to be just like the others So don't wear as a badge of your courage as a woman.

Oh, I I Go to the handmaid's tale of a church, and I'm the bold one with neon hair and a skimpy blouse

Don't wear as a badge of courage. What is really a mark of shame don't be like the others

Don't be like the others The others the course of this world want to convince you that if you do that you're missing out you're backwards you're naive

You're under the thumb of patriarchy You're being repressed They're making you do all sorts of ridiculous things

But I would say remember that the worldview that scoffs at modesty is the same worldview that mutilates toddlers

So you probably shouldn't take their cues about the meaning of the body or the meaning of what is male or female, right?

Don't walk Don't strut don't debut according to the course of this world because it's this world in pretending to cherish the body

That actually degrades the body and it's sad to see a whole generation of young women that are essentially degrading themselves

Because the world is convincing them that by degrading themselves They're actually owning their body or cherishing their body or being unashamed about their body

The body is a gift from the Lord as well. But that gift is to be used where it was designed Everything else is sinful.

Everything else leads to ruin Dysfunction, I saw this is stunning to me.

I saw this video clip, you know, I I really need to stop doing this Yeah, it's it's sort of my guilty pleasure schadenfreude of taking pleasure with others misery

But I love watching post -election fallout. I've probably watched the MSNBC election highlights about 80 times

And I just I love watching the countenance slowly melt away over three or four hours but there's a lot of sort of reactions that come out after the fact and one of them was this this this woman and she was doing sort of a tick -tock and she said

Hey, hey young ladies Especially young ladies with American dads you young ladies with conservative dads

How great would it be for you to go blow up your Thanksgiving dinner? And so if you live near me,

I want you to come over. I'm gonna shave your head for free Won't it be a great to see the look on his face when you show up?

They're saying for the reaction against this conservative father Shaving your head somehow will be worth it.

That's the world We're living in like completely degrade yourself look shameful and humiliated and somehow that will be that'll be a good shot against the

Patriarch Listen patriarchy is not the issue Christarchy is the rule of Christ is

It's what Christ desires not what men desire not what father's desire for their daughters though A wise daughter will take that as my father is a man.

I should probably heed his advice He knows what men are like since he is one a wise daughter is gonna want to listen her to an incline her heart

To her father's voice, but listen, it's not even about the father's voice It's about Christ.

It's about Christ's voice what Christ has said. It's true what Christ desires for his bride and therefore what you ought to desire as a bride for your husband or as a bride to be for a husband yet to come or For a woman who's adorned with all sorts of feminine graces

It will not degrade them even for the peering lying eyes and voices of the world We protect what we prize

So realize that not only men may stumble but sisters may stumble as well and you're to be a countercultural example in this crooked generation

You're not to be like the others you're to be pure and chaste godly and virtuous

Let me say since we're talking about it. Also In the church, especially it may be that women are more distracted by a modesty than men.

I Take it for granted that for the most part my brothers are gonna come and we're gonna try to focus and fixate on worship and it may be that a

Young woman that comes and is dressed perhaps immodestly is probably gonna be more of a stumbling block to her sisters than her brothers

And so there needs to be mindfulness here sisters have to be careful about how they talk about one another Don't talk about immodesty talk to the person who's maybe struggling or maybe is unaware and If you're on the receiving end of that be humble

I'm not trying to shame you or ridicule you or embarrass you They're probably trying to help you and maybe you think their advice is off.

Maybe you think they're backward Well, just mark it up out of out of charity that they actually had the courage to speak to you on an uncomfortable

Topic and receive that humbly you might think they're wrong But you're not gonna cause them to stumble and you know what if they were being caused to stumble

Maybe someone else was being caused to stumble someone that wouldn't speak up about it So be humble be humble how you look in regard be humble how you talk about Don't allow immodesty to become the sort of hen's circle of gossip as it's prone to be

But as you watch out for yourself Brothers as you watch out for your eyes, let us also watch out for each other and just help one another

We're living in a world submerged into lust and we all have to make it through to the other side Maiming whatever we will covering whatever we have to we have to make it through to the other side

So we protect what we prize and you want to prize ladies the dignity of feminine virtue of prudence of Modesty, this isn't just for you and how you

Communicate to those around you. This is also what you're communicating to the generation that's coming up after you and to lay down a recovery of dignity of virtue of prudence of Modesty are all the things you would want your daughters and the daughters represented in this church to aspire to So there's a lot of pressure.

It's a high and holy calling laid upon your shoulders but as we read as we open this service from 1st

Corinthians 6 as We read the body is for the Lord That's not just that the

Lord is for our bodies. The body is for the Lord not the tyrannical controller of bodies

The feminist fantasy of handmaid's tale. No, not the controller of bodies But the gracious lover of both body and soul the

Lord Jesus. He's the one that is for your body You can trust he knows what is best Well, we'll need to close here.

I as I said, we'll pick up next week But let me let me give sort of a preview as we come to a close now

Really the banner over everything to which will aspire next week. Is this this is from CS Lewis.

He says Lust is a poor weak whimpering whispering thing

Compared to the richness and the energy of desire that arises when lost has been killed

Therefore love is the great conqueror of lust Let's pray father.

Thank you for your word Lord. Bless it to us. We pray Help my brothers and my sisters

Lord as we over the next week press into The daily grind the daily struggle the daily life.

May we find relief? May we find encouragement? May we apply some of these basic Practical standards to our life and guard our eyes our ears our minds

Guard the way that we present and gain reaction or attraction from others Lord Help us as a church

Lord. We desire to be a pure bride Help us to know what that means for each one of us within this bride and Lord help us as we look to next

Sunday where we go even deeper and deal with the jarring painful imagery of Gouged eyes and lopped -off arms

Lord help us to remember That you are the one who? Though your eyes were intact.

Nevertheless Lord you you saw your hands nailed. You saw your body torn open you

Were torn apart in order to secure the kingdom into which you call us to enter Let us know it's by your spirit and by your grace

And give us the faith and the perseverance to walk by your spirit and so fulfill the righteous requirement of your law

Even these seventh and tenth commandments Lord Let our strong passionate desire be for you and for your kingdom and its righteousness