Is It Effeminate to Sing in Falsetto?

The Concern About Effeminate Worship Style

There is obviously a push to get guys to do this more and more and more until it becomes the absolute normal. Get them away from singing low for whatever reason, and I think that is the concerning thing when you look at the whole picture, especially worship leaders, how they dress, how they speak, how emotionally stable they are, because honestly, I've met plenty who are not emotionally stable at all.

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The issue is that humanity is in sin, and the wrath of Almighty God is hanging over our head.

They will hear his words, they will not act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed, and they will perish.

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Act Like Men, Be Strong

Welcome to Bible Bash, where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions you're not allowed to ask. We're your host, Harrison Kerrig, and Pastor Tim Mullett, and today we'll answer the age-old question, is it effeminate to sing in falsetto?

Now, I bet there's probably a lot of people as we start off this episode that are thinking to themselves, there's no way Tim has a Bible verse that goes along with this, but I bet you do, Tim.

So I want to hear it.

I want to hear it. I want to hear it.

What is it?

Tim Mullett Yeah.

First Corinthians 16, 13, be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. That's the one.

Darrell Bock I know there's people out there right now that are pulling their hair out saying, Tim, that didn't mention falsetto at all.

Tim Mullett. It says, act like men, be strong.

Darrell Bock. Act like men, be strong.

Okay, so why don't we start there? Because I know that's going to be a point of contention for most people. So, how does that relate to singing in falsetto in general? What's the connection there in your mind?

Tim Mullett. Sure.

So, there's a lot to this expression, you know, be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. And what's happened is most people when they read a phrase like that, basically, like their definition of masculinity, like what does it mean to act like a man, this is what they do in their mind.

So, what they do in their mind is they instantaneously take an expression like that, act like a man, and they define it as generic Christian faithfulness. That's what they do. So, they define it as generic Christian faithfulness.

So, whatever masculinity actually is to the world, they set that in opposition to biblical masculinity. So, biblical masculinity is basically in contrast to the machismo, to being macho, or something like that.

So, what they do is they have a category for distorted masculinity, and then they have a category for biblical masculinity. But then the problem is that biblical masculinity operates almost the exact opposite spectrum as worldly masculinity in that way.

And then what they do is they define biblical masculinity as basically just generic biblical faithfulness. But then the problem with that is that you have men and women who are different. And if generic Christian faithfulness is masculinity under those terms, then masculinity is no different than femininity.

Does that make sense? So, biblical masculinity and biblical femininity occupy the same set in that way. So, there's nothing different. So, basically what they do is they take anything that might be stereotypical masculinity, they say that's bad.

And then biblical masculinity is basically just this neuter generic human being, like being faithful to God kind of thing.

That at the end of the day, a female Christian could do as well.

Right, which is why most pastors today are indistinguishable from women. It's because they followed this move, they understand what the move is doing, and they're taking the logic of that to the extreme, right?

And this is why groups like the Gospel Coalition, Together for the Gospel, everything else, this is why they love effeminate men so much, is because effeminate men are just like their poster child for what they think of as biblical masculinity.

It's just like a non-threatening man, like milk-toast kind of man with a limp wrist, and has all the effeminate mannerisms, possibly even wears a dress in his profile pictures. So, that's what they want.

But then the issue is, be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. In the Bible, that actually has content to it that's beyond just generic faithfulness. Meaning, you can read in the Old Testament that it's an abomination for a woman to wear a garment pertaining to a man, or it's an abomination for a man wearing a garment pertaining to a woman.

He needs to act like a man, right? So he needs to act like men need to act like men, women need to act like women. That even shows up in the way that they dress. In the New Testament, Paul talks about, doesn't nature itself teach that if a man has long hair, it's a shame to him?

But if a woman has long hair, it's for her glory. So, biblical masculinity even reaches to the idea of clothes and hairstyles even. Part of what's happening is that there's a logic that undergirds it all that helps you distinguish between what men and women are actually for.

Does that make sense? So then once you realize that God made, in the beginning, God made them male and female, and then once you search the Bible and figure out what is different about the genders, what were they created in different ways to do, you can piece together what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman in that way.

So then, what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman has implications for how people present themselves. Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Because they're made for different purposes. So you can present yourself as a man as an individual trying to accomplish a feminine purpose, and when you do that, you're not acting like a man. Does that make sense?

Mm-hmm.

Or you can present yourself in a masculine way, and what that means is you're presenting yourself as being designed to accomplish masculine objectives based on your masculine design in that way. So basically, what it means to act like a man, that has implications for the individual that extend to the way they present themselves, even in terms of their hair, their dress, their mannerisms, and everything else.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah.

So I didn't connect the dots as to how that relates to different singing styles, but what I'm trying to say is that what you have to do is you have to understand what is a man in the Bible. What has God designed a man to do in the Bible?

And then, as you think through that, a lot of what you're going to— the ways you're answering that question are based on direct biblical passages and then what nature is actually teaching about masculinity and femininity, too.

So what nature teaches about masculinity and femininity does factor into what does it mean to act even like a man? Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah.

So just as an example, I mean, so it says, Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Well, what is the difference between men and women as it relates to strength? Well, men and women are just very different in terms of strength, meaning God's made men to be significantly physically stronger than women, right?

So if a woman were to make herself look like a UFC fighter by taking male hormones and everything else and lifting weights, maybe not even worse than a UFC fighter, if she'd make herself look like a male bodybuilder or something like that, act like she's presenting herself as a tool that was made to be strong.

And in some ways, that's a distortion of femininity. People look at a woman doing that and they say, Hey, you're butch, right? You're acting like a man because you're not made to be like a bodybuilder.

And when you do that, you don't look like a woman. You look like a gross man, but not even like a good man, like a weak man. You look like a gross woman and you look like a weak man when you're doing that, right?

When you're taking on the Xeno warrior princess kind of thing going on. So the issue is because they're not made to be strong, that's not what they're made for. But then on the opposite end of that, if a man clothes himself in weakness, then you have a man who's devoted to trying to make himself look pretty, then that's an equal distortion because you're not designed for glory.

A woman's made to be a glory of a man. Her long hair is for her glory, to make her beautiful. The issue is you're trying to present yourself as a woman. That isn't what you're designed to be, and it just comes off looking like a caricature at that point.

So the issue is nature has something to say about that as well as the biblical man has something to say about that. So that all factors into what we're talking about. But anyways, acting like men, that is a phrase that has meaning that's going to be defined by God's purposes for men in the Bible and the actual constitution of a man that God's given in distinction from how he's made women.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah.

There's more to say, but that's part.

Falsetto, Vocal Range, and the Push Toward Androgyny

So then when it comes to singing falsetto specifically, are you saying that for a man to do that in any way, shape, or form is to deny his manhood? I mean, like, haha, oh, you lost your man card. Not necessarily like that, but just like in the actual biblical category of be strong, act like men, like that kind of category.

Are you saying that they're missing it whenever they sing in falsetto, or is there more to it than that? What exactly do you mean there?

Yeah, so I would want to say that there's obviously a trend right now to get men to sing as high as they possibly can. And there's obviously a trend in pop music in particular right now to get men to sing in falsetto.

And I mean, you can just watch shows like The Voice or something like that if you can stomach it. You can watch shows like that where the men are singing like Adele songs and crying like women, and they're being praised for doing these things that are just fundamentally embarrassing.

Like, there's nothing that, I mean, you can even just go back five, ten years ago or whatever, there'd be nothing that would be more gay than a man trying to sing an Adele song in the minds of many people.

But right now, if you do that, you're being courageous, and you're going to get praised by the powers that be in the music world for trying to present yourself exactly like that. So, I mean, there's obviously different types of falsetto, and falsetto's not a new phenomenon.

And I mean, some people were posting on a Twitter line where I asked this kind of question, like videos of older country singers who were sounding like Barney Fife or something, singing in falsetto. And it wasn't necessarily as womanly as what pop singers singing falsetto are sounding like today, but it did sound very awkward and weird and uncomfortable to me, like it made me cringe a little bit, like feel weird inside, like listening to it.

But I mean, I think the idea of falsetto in general, most people who are singing falsetto right now are doing it so that you have a man who is essentially sounding like a girl in that way. I think most red-blooded American male probably have that kind of reaction to it in general.

It's like, you're a dude trying to sound like a girl. And to the extent to which that's happening, I would say that's not a good thing. That would not be a good thing. If there is some kind of tasteful, musical way to pull it off, that would be beyond my musical knowledge.

There's part of this discussion that's over my head because I'm not a musical person, and I don't pretend to be a musical person. So there's part of this that I'm open to hearing pushback and critique on.

But I think for the vast majority of people, I think the common red-blooded American male… I mean, you can just imagine a redneck who's listening to a guy singing in falsetto, and then the reaction is, that sounds sissy.

And I don't have an impulse to say that that reaction is totally off-base. Does that make sense?

Yeah. I think my concern with all of it is…. I was reading through some of the replies we were getting on Twitter, and there were a lot of people who were coming along and essentially saying some form of, hey, God has given every single person a specific vocal range, right?

Right.

That's mostly unique to that individual. And so they need to use that entire vocal range to honor the Lord, right? And so that was an argument that a lot of people were making, which I personally, I don't really have a problem with that argument as just a general saying.

I think the problem comes from…. If I were to take those people who were saying that, and then if I had a way to look at the things that they were listening to all the time when it came to music, I guarantee you there's not a single person they're listening to who is using a low voice to sing.

Right.

And when you look at, like you mentioned, when you look at pop music, even when you look at popular Christian worship music, it's all like, hey, push the guy's vocal range as high as possible. Get the guys in the studio that have the highest vocal range possible.

And there's not really a very big market for the kind of person who has a low voice. I mean, I can think, just in music in general, I can think of just a handful of people who are famous for singing with a low voice.

Right.

But then, I mean, I feel like most pop songs I hear involve, unless they're like rap or something, and sometimes at this point now, sometimes even rap songs will have, like pop rap songs, pop songs in general, will have some form of a guy singing falsetto, singing really high.

And those are the songs that people are listening to the most. So it's kind of like whenever I hear people saying the whole, like, hey, use your whole vocal range to honor the Lord. I don't really think people mean that at all.

At all, actually. I mean, I'm not, you know, what I'm not saying is there's literally no one out there who is popular for using a low voice. I know there are some guys like that out there. Even in the Christian world, there's a few guys like that out there.

But the majority, I mean, like, you know, the Hillsongs, the Bethels, the Elevation, you know, the Maverick City Worship or whatever their name is. You know, all of those people, like, they're pushing to get guys with, at best, like a mid-range voice, but normally it's sort of like a right in between.

Someone who can really sing mid, like the middle kind of stuff, but can really push their voice up high. I mean, it used to, like, we used to make jokes, like, because I'm, you know, I lead worship at our church, and, you know, we used to make jokes within the band about, like, the guys having girls, or the popular worship bands like Hillsong having guys that just straight up sound like girls when they're singing.

You know, it's like, how are we ever supposed to match this? And we moved on from playing their stuff, obviously, but, you know, back then, those were the kind of jokes we were making about bands like Hillsong and Bethel and all of them.

Yeah, I mean, it's definitely, like, you look at the things that people praise, and, I mean, you watch, I mean, just watch, I mean, I wouldn't recommend you really watch any of the singing shows or whatever, but, like, if there is a guy that comes on who sounds like a girl and they can't tell if it's a girl or a guy, they get so, like, breathlessly excited about that.

Because, I mean, there is a societal wide push towards androgyny in general, but then this really, I mean, there's a sense in which, like, the powers that be are trying to push towards androgyny, even as it relates to this subject, but then the common man, like, I know that people get real excited when they hear someone with a really deep voice, because it's so rare to even have it be put out there.

Right.

To where most guys in the room, I mean, even if they can't go near that low, instantaneously what you get from the guys is, I admire that, right?

Right.

Like, when a guy can sing really deep, it's like, if I can't sing any, I mean, I can't sing bass, you know, but the issue is, you know, people think that if you ask these kind of questions, you're asking them out of some sort of insecurity or something like that, you're desperate to prove your manliness.

It's like, I can't sing bass, but when I hear a guy who can sing bass, I don't get offended as if it's done something to reduce something in me. I think, that's good, you know?

Right.

That's my instantaneous response, is to say, man, that guy's really manly, you know? I mean, and that's what guys think. I mean, regardless of whether you're allowed to say it, you know, my boys, that's what they think when they hear a guy who sings really deep.

They get a grin on their face, and they really like it, you know? And then they'll start, like, trying to, you know, get it.

Yeah, that's the knee-jerk reaction, is to, like, oh, I'm going to try it. Yeah, I'm going to try and hit that note.

I mean, it's a funny thing, because I mean, I was showing them pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger, because they've never really seen, like, bodybuilder kind of types, but then all of my boys, I showed them pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

They don't have bulging muscles. They're little kids, you know? But then they started taking off their shirts and then started flexing and trying to look like that.

Trying to imitate.

Yeah, I showed my daughter, or whatever. She's five, and she's like, uh, you know? There was none of that on her end, but all of them instantaneously just gravitated towards that, like, man. But it's the same thing with a deep voice in that way.

And so part of what's happening is, like, the whole logic of the project is off. Like, meaning, like, let's step outside the singing realm for a second and talk about the speaking realm. Like, obviously, guys have different tones of voice.

So some guys have deeper voices than others. Some guys have higher voices than others. And, you know, I'm not saying this as someone who has just a remarkably deep voice or something like that, a speaking voice, or even a singing voice.

But, like, the issue is you have a great... I could sing at the highest range I possibly can and camp out at that and make that me, like my identity. I could try to talk as high as I possibly can and camp out in that and signal to the entire world that I'm effeminate and I'm open to, you know, being sodomized by some dude or something like that.

But, I mean, that's essentially what's happening at the speaking level is when you have guys who, like, take their voice as high as they can possibly make it and adopt all the mannerisms of femininity, like, they're doing something immoral, okay?

Meaning, like, when you're camping, when you make that your identity... I mean, as a guy, you can make yourself sound as girly as you possibly can. And people are going to make certain assumptions about you.

Now, you can do that in the talking realm or you can, you know, try to talk in an exaggeratedly low realm, you know. So everyone has something that's comfortable and then they can push it as high as possible and make that their normal.

They can push it as low as possible, try to make that their normal. Either way, it kind of becomes comical at a certain point. But then, like, everything you do, just because you can make your voice do something doesn't mean that it's good, what you're doing.

Does that make sense of what I'm saying? Like, just because you can make your voice, like, sound a certain way, that doesn't... I can make my mannerisms sound a certain way. So, I mean, just thinking about that as it relates to speaking, like, that is relevant to this conversation, too.

Like, meaning... Like, everyone knows that if you have a guy who sounds like Dylan Mulvaney or whatever, you know what that dude's doing, right? That dude's pretending to be a woman. He's trying to present himself as a woman.

And so, that all factors into what we're talking about. Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like a man, be strong. Well, God made men to have lower voices than women.

Right.

Like, He made men to sound differently than women. So, you can make your voice sound as girly as you possibly can and make that your normal. Society's going to praise you for that because they want androgyny.

They want no differences between men and women. So, like, the issue is on your speaking voice, you can make your voice go as high as you possibly can all the time and talk like a little five-year-old girl or whatever as, like, a big dude band, you know?

And a lot of what's happened is, like, that's what society is training men to do as it relates to the way they speak and the way that they sing. But just because it's within your range to do doesn't mean that that's necessarily something that would honor the Lord.

So, meaning, if God made men and women biologically different to where men have different voices than women, then, you know, which way do you want to lean? Do you want to be constantly leaning to where, like, in your speaking and in your singing, you know, you sound indistinguishable from a woman?

I think you're probably doing what our society is doing at that point to where there's something weird about that, you know, and if people start making assumptions about that, you can't really fault them because you're presenting yourself in such a way that they can't, like, I mean, if you can actually get to a point where they can't tell, am I listening to a man or a woman here?

You're probably on a different project than God has had at that point, if that makes sense.

You know, I think for people out there who might be, who are listening, who might still be just totally opposed to what you're saying, I think it might be helpful to know that while I was preparing for this episode, I just did a quick search on, you know, what were, who were some of the top, you know, male vocalists who used falsetto a lot as part of their style, and as I was reading through the list, it was funny because I was like, you know, I'd be reading and scrolling, and it's like, okay, okay, that guy's gay, that guy's gay, that guy's gay too, oh, yep, him too, he's also gay.

You know, and it's like, at least half of the list was gay people, or people that it's like, I suspect are gay. But some that were just out, you know, outwardly that way, and I think that should be, that should be a telling, like if you're trying to make this, especially if you're trying to make this like a core part of how you, of how you sing in general.

And your identity, yeah, your identity, is you're the guy who they can't tell if he's gay.

Like, hey, you're the same as, you know, you're the same as Freddie, I mean, that's what Freddie Mercury did, you know, that's what Prince did, all of these guys, who is the other one that I, there's another,.

There's another.

The Bee Gees, obviously.

The Bee Gees, yeah.

I mean, everyone kept on, the thing was, everyone on those internet interactions, they kept on posting pictures of the Bee Gees, and I mean, it was just embarrassing. It's like, these are a bunch of dudes with long hair who are doing girly mannerisms and girly dance moves.

It's just like, I know that it was funny back in the day, you know, when you're a pagan, singing like that, but this isn't, there's nothing about this, like this is gender bending the whole way down, you know?

Yeah.

This is everything, everything about this is gender bending, so you, like, these aren't actually good examples here.

Yeah.

For sure.

Worship Leaders, Gender Bending, and the Church

Yeah, and, you know, I guess from my perspective, it's like, I actually am a little bit, you know, I actually am a little bit more on the, you know, hey, God's given every single person a certain vocal range, and they should use that vocal range to honor the Lord, but then I actually mean, like, you should use the low part too.

Yeah.

Not just the high part, and then I'm just saying use every part so that you don't realize that I actually only mean the high part. But then, you know, I think what really concerns me with this conversation is just, I think the topic of falsetto in general is just indicative of the larger, like, what you're saying, trying to make men as effeminate as possible.

And I think you see this, like, especially in worship leader. I mean, worship leaders are, like, the butt of so many jokes when it comes to how they act, how they talk, what they wear, you know, and how theologically.

Stay there.

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I've told plenty of people at our church, like, hey, if you ever see me, you know, because I'm the worship leader, I guess maybe there's, like, you just have to start doing it long enough and then that's how you get sucked into it or something, I don't know.

But, you know, I've joked with people essentially saying, hey, if you ever see me, you know, if you ever see me wearing those wide brim hats on Sunday, you know, if you ever see me, like, with those stereotypical, like, unisex boots that all the guys and girls are wearing at the same time, if you ever see me wearing a romp hem, and if you don't know what a romp hem is, just go look up what a romp hem is.

This is pretty funny. So at my last church, there was a situation where I had to lead worship for a little bit and instantaneously all the, you know, the young marriages and everything else, they started mocking me mercilessly.

They were saying, now that you're leading worship, you know, when are you going to bring out the romp hems?

When are you going to grow out your hair and wear the man bun?

I mean, there's a joke for a reason. There's obviously a joke for a reason.

No, yeah, and, you know, I mean, when I was in school, I mean, I met a ton of guys who were currently leading worship or were, you know, heavily involved with the worship team at their church, and so many of them were just, like, extremely effeminate.

And I don't just mean, like, in the way they dressed themselves. I mean, like, in the way they talked or in the way they spoke, in the way that, like, they understood the Bible in general and how they studied things, their emotions.

Like, they were very effeminate in their emotions. It was just, I mean, obviously, like, the way they dressed was a part of it, but, I mean, it was very much...

But they're being encouraged in every single way to adopt all the mannerisms, the habits, the practices, and, you know, portray themselves as women, and so they do have the emotional range of what they do.

Yeah, and so, for me, as a worship leader myself, in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm a little bit of an anomaly. Like, I'm all by myself out here being, you know, and that's probably just a large part because of where we came from, you know, as a church in general anyway, and where we live geographically.

But, I mean, when you look at Hillsong, when you look at Bethel, when you look at all of these big worship bands, all of the guys are wearing the tightest jeans possible, and, you know, the shirt with the v-neck that's cut all the way down to their belly button, and, you know, the wide-brim hat and the man bun and whatever, and, you know, they're singing as high as they possibly can in ways that I just can never, I will never be able to do myself personally.

You know, and it's just like, I think that's where I'm not necessarily like, hey, any time you use falsetto, you've done something wrong or gross as a guy. Where I am at, personally, is there is obviously a push to get guys to do this more and more and more until it becomes the absolute normal.

Get them away from singing low, you know, for whatever reason. And I think that is the concerning thing when you look at the whole picture, how, especially like worship leaders, how they dress, how they speak, how emotionally stable they are, because, honestly, like I've met plenty who are not emotionally stable at all.

How the way they sing, and then on top of all of that, they, I mean, more often than not, they barely know anything about the Bible. I mean, they sound like, you know, I'm not making this as like a joke or trying to get at anyone, but they genuinely, yeah, I mean, oftentimes they do sound like people who just aren't even saved.

And I've even, I can't remember if I've told this story before, but I have spoken to guys who are like, hey, I want to be a worship leader. You're a worship leader. You've figured it out. What do I need to do to become a worship leader?

And by the end of the conversation, I've asked them all these questions. I haven't asserted anything. I've just asked them a bunch of questions and read them the Bible, and then they're leaving it thinking, I don't even think I'm a Christian, actually.

And it's like that's the state of more worship leaders than I think people realize is like they're just totally theologically weak. And so anyway, all that to say is my main concern with all of these things is just I think our culture in general and our culture within the American church is to try and make men, whether they be pastors, whether they be deacons, whoever it is, they're trying to make men as effeminate as possible.

And I think you see that in the style of music, in the style of singing that is the most popular in the Christian music world and then in the larger secular music world as well.

Masculine Singing, Voice, and Presentation

Jared. Yeah, I mean, that's definitely true. So I mean, I think when people, I think the way to navigate this discussion, theologically is just to think, be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

So what are the differences between men and women? And I think related to dress, related to hairstyles, related to mannerisms, related to tone of voice kind of issues, how we present ourself, I think gender bending is profoundly wrong.

And so as it relates to all these things, you want to emphasize the dissimilarities that are natural to men and women. You don't want to try to blur the lines. And so to the extent to which a guy is just talking as high as he possibly can, as feminine as he possibly can, as girly as he possibly can, everyone knows what's happening.

They can see it. And the frustrating thing about it is when you have these kinds of conversations, people can't make these basic distinctions. Meaning, so if you ask a question like this, people think you're beating up on all the tenors or something like that.

But it's like, hey, you can be a masculine tenor or you can be a girly one. So you have a range and you can push your range and you can take the way that you even sing and express yourself. You can make it as breathlessly feminine as you possibly can in the way that you talk and the way that you sing.

Or you can have a natural range and you're not pushing it to be as girly sounding as possible, but you're just pushing it to be as manly as you possibly can. So there's different impulses that a person can have as it relates to the way they speak and the way they sing, knowing that there's differences.

I'm never going to sing bass. I can try to sing bass. It'd be a caricature. It wouldn't work. But I can try to sing. I mean, I can get out there and I can memorize the Adele song and I can try to belt it out as high as I possibly can and make a fool of myself.

Or I can try to actually present myself as a man, even in the way I'm singing. And so I think there's certain things that used to be intuitive to us as it relates to this kind of conversation that are now not intuitive anymore.

So I think we need to definitely regain some kind of sanity there for sure.