TLP S00-E10: Fluffy Children's Ministries | youth and children ministries best practices

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Have you ever noticed that there's no kid version of the Bible? The gospel's the same, the spirit empowerment is the same, the responsibilities for spiritual growth are the same.

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Welcome to Truth. Love. Parents. Where we use God's Word to become intentional premeditated parents.

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Here's your host, A .M. Brewster. I hope you all are having a fantastic day. I know that I am.

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This week represents the ninth anniversary of Evermind Ministries. Nine years ago, we started off as a blog called

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Taking Back the Bible. And Taking Back the Bible went on for a number of years until we decided to broaden the ministry that we were having, not just in our writing, but also a counseling ministry, a speaking ministry, and then we wanted to get as much truth out on social media as we could.

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And so nine years ago, it all started with a blog, and then it's become Evermind Ministries.

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If you've not checked us out on the web, I would encourage you to do that, evermindministries .com.

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Not nevermind, it's evermind, E -V -E -R -M -I -N -D, ministries .com.

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You can also check us out on social media. We're on Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, we're on Twitter, and you can also follow me on Twitter if you're interested, at AM Brewster.

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So I hope you will enjoy this ninth anniversary of Taking Back the Bible by reading some articles there.

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And I'm glad you're spending some time with us today on Truth, Love, Parent. I hope that you will stay tuned. We have a wonderful episode today and the next couple weeks as well, but I'm also looking forward to when

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Dr. Heath Lambert will be visiting with us to describe the very unique and vital part that counseling plays in our parenting.

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What that is and how those of us who kind of feel unworthy to be a counselor can know that God is there and that he is equipping us the way for exactly what we need to counsel our children.

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Speaking of counseling, there are a lot of people who speak truth into our children's lives.

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At least I hope there are. I hope you guys are attending church regularly. I hope you are getting your kids surrounded by people who love

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God and who want to speak his truth into their lives. I know for my kids, we have many of the same things that you do.

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My kids go to Sunday school, they go to children's church, they obviously oftentimes sit in the main service with us depending on the service and their age.

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But we also have other people who speak truth into our kids' lives. We have actually my entire subdivision, which

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I kind of say that tongue -in -cheek, I work and live at Victory Academy for Boys. There are five houses on campus.

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Four of them have families that live in them, including ours. All of our neighbors are regularly pouring truth into our kids' lives and I'm very appreciative for that.

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But for most of us, it's either going to happen through school and for those of us whose kids go to public school, then there's even fewer people who are speaking truth into our kids' lives.

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Other than family members, it's most likely going to come through the church. So children's ministries are extremely important to parents who want their children hearing

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God's word at every opportunity. Now I like fluffy bunnies. I enjoy wearing fluffy socks and I love fluffy cotton candy.

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But what about fluffy children's ministries? What about children's programs that are too fluffy?

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Now I need to kind of give you a better definition of the word fluffy and I think

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Kids for Truth did a great job. They have an article that I'm going to link in the description that defines this term fluffy a little bit better.

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The article is called Ways to Know When Your Children's Ministry is Too Fluffy. And just to make it simple here, before you have a chance to read that article, and I really highly suggest you do, fluffy really has to do with the fluff, the stuff that really doesn't have any substance within a children's ministry.

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There are a lot of things that would be considered fluff and it's not to say that those things would be considered sinful or wrong.

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It's a question of a ratio though. How much of that fluffy filler time things do we have versus how much true significant weighty material are we dealing with?

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For example, have you ever really considered the spiritual efficacy of singing Deep and Wide?

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You know the song, deep and wide, deep and wide. Now if you haven't been able to tell from previous podcasts, you can tell them

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I'm a very involved parent. And I remember the very first Sunday, my son told me that he sang Deep and Wide in Sunday school.

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And I said, that's great. Do you know what the song means? And after about a minute of blank stares,

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I went ahead and I clued him in. You see, folks, there is no G -rated version of the

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Bible. Have you ever noticed that though God has some specific instruction for children, there's no kid version of the

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Bible? The gospel is the same, the Spirit's empowerment is the same, the responsibilities for spiritual growth are the same.

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So with the exceptions of the relationship specific commands, the entirety of the Bible applies to children as it does to adults.

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So why do our children's ministries differ so much from others in the church? Why do we feel the need to fluff our children's programs?

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Why don't we sing Deep and Wide in the main service? Why do we even have children's ministries?

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And to be honest, I think that the answer is that our children's ministries might be more culturally informed than they are biblically informed.

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Have you ever heard someone say, but she's only four, as if that somehow excuses her brightness?

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What about, he's going through a phase? Well, am I allowed to use that excuse to sweep my behavior under the rug?

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It's obvious that children are different than adults in many ways, height notwithstanding. But do you realize that when it comes to God's truth, there are very few differences?

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But you say, the Bible tells us that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child. See, there are intrinsic differences between children and adults.

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Well, okay, but every other example of a fool in the Bible is an example referring to adults.

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You see, foolishness resides in their hearts just as much. And just as the rod of correction will drive out the child's foolishness, so does the rod to the back of the bigger fool.

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When it comes to why we even have children's ministries, or why we do the things that we do in these ministries, in my years of ministry,

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I've noticed that almost every single reason or source that we cite to defend that children need something different than adults, or that we should treat them differently, comes from extra -biblical sources.

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It's really impossible to argue for a fluffy children's ministry from Scripture. It's impossible to argue from a light, loose, fun -filled, but truth -deprived children's program if we're going to get it from the

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Bible. None of the biblical injunctions for the many people living in our homes can be used to argue for flannel boards or circle games.

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Should children honor and obey their parents? Yes, but the only thing I can extrapolate from this command is that children should receive instruction from and submit to their parents.

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It has no bearing on their ability to understand the Bible or my necessity to use cute morality tales.

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In fact, Jesus himself told the group of men who followed him that unless they became as a child, they could not be converted.

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He told the apostles that unless they humbled themselves as children, they wouldn't even understand God's truth.

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Perhaps the adults are the ones who need the flannel boards. My point in all this is simple. I'm not against deep and wide.

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I'm not against flannel boards. I'm not against playing a game or giving out candy in children's church.

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But many of the reasons we have a children's ministry are simply unbiblical.

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And again, don't misunderstand me. I'm all about a children's ministry that exists for Christ -honoring, biblical reasons.

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Unfortunately, most of the time, it's just a glorified babysitting service because mom and dad don't want to have to deal with their children.

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They haven't taught to listen and to understand God's word. Fluffy children's ministries stand in opposition to the truth of God, specifically in that he gives us everything we need for life and godliness from the pages of his word and the power of his spirit.

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And it doesn't matter how young the believer is. It's just as true for my seven -year -old as it is for my nine -year -old, as it is for my wife, as it is for me, that he's giving us everything we need for life and godliness from God's word.

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But if I'm not giving my children God's word, I'm not equipping them with what they need.

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The Father loves them in his perfection. The Son died for them in his holiness. The Spirit still works in them to his fullest.

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They have the same gospel, they have the same responsibilities, they have the same Bible. Now if you're a little concerned that perhaps the children's ministry in your church might be a little fluffy, here are a couple things that you can do.

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First of all, you should go and see what your children are being taught. Nobody's perfect.

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No pastor, no teacher is perfect, but it's probably a good idea for you to know what your children are getting every week when they go to Sunday school.

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If you're going to put the kid in there, if you're going to put a kid into a school, you're probably going to check their credentials of the teachers.

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You're probably going to see the SAT scores and whatnot. You should do that with your, whether it's your little children going into children's church or your teenagers going into youth group, you should know what they're being taught.

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Secondly, if you start to see that perhaps there's more fun and less truth, there's more games and less doctrine, there's more filler time and less true focus on sanctification, then you should probably say something.

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You should get involved somehow. Talk to the person who's in charge of it and in a loving, respectful way, share your concerns with them.

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Now, if you say, well, how do I know whether or not there's a good balance? Perhaps maybe you grew up in a children's ministry where it was all fun and games and very little truth.

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Well, here are some questions to ask, and here are also some responses that I've heard from people who are working in ministries with very little meat.

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So here's some questions you can ask. Does the program avoid reading the actual words of the

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Bible? Some people may say, well, isn't paraphrasing good enough? It'll help the children understand it better.

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Okay, sure, but is it the actual words of the Bible? Use an updated modern version of the

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Bible if you can, something that's been translated and interpreted from people who know what they're doing.

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Don't just take someone else's interpretation of the original languages and then change it to fit your purposes, because it's so easy to use a word out of context or to change a word to a word that we think is a synonym, but really isn't communicating what the

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Bible wants to communicate. Don't just paraphrase the Bible. Read it. Also, does the program find more value in an event or a game than it does in a lesson?

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I've heard people say, well, children won't want to come to Sunday school if they won't enjoy themselves. Hmm, sounds like some issues even larger church ministries have been struggling with.

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Ask yourself this of the program. Are the songs they're singing, do they have little to no understandable spiritual application?

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Songs like Father Abraham. Or do they sing songs with spiritual depth, but forget to explain the concepts?

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For example, Deep and Wide, or The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock. I actually heard somebody say, everyone knows

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Father Abraham was written to wear kids out before the lesson. How else can we expect them to pay attention? But do you see what we're saying about these little people, either these little

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Christians or these little people who God loves very much and wants them to have a relationship with him? We're saying that, you know,

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God's word, it's just, they can't understand that. So we're going to sing a simple little song, we're going to wear the kids out so they can at least sit quietly while they listen to the lesson with their hands folded.

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What about this? Does the children's program teach more missionary stories and Billy Suzy illustrations than biblical truth?

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I once heard someone say, but missionary stories have more adventure than the Bible. Honestly? Yes, missionary stories can be fantastic, and we should fill our children's minds with the fact that there are men and women out there today and in the past who have dedicated everything for Christ on a mission field, but is that more important than the

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Bible? Are the cute little illustrations of boys and girls taking biblical truth and applying it to life helpful?

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Yes, of course they're helpful, but should we focus more on that than we do on truth? One last question to ask about the children's program is, does it promote morality without emphasizing the deeper reality of a relationship with God?

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For example, VeggieTales teach kids how to behave. Who needs doctrine? Yeah, VeggieTales does teach kids how to behave, but doctrine is extremely important.

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A man I respect by the name of Barrett Johnson wrote an article, and he had a little bit to say in that article about this concept, and he also dealt with a very interesting fact about VeggieTales.

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I'm going to take a minute here to read to you his article, and I want you to hear this because, again, it has everything to do with this concept of fluffy children's ministries, where we're actually sometimes raising pagans instead of raising

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Christians. He starts off by saying, every imperfect and normal family wants their kids to turn out right, so we establish goals for character development and try to create an environment where our kids can mature.

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Church, school, sports teams, family relationships, each of these provides a context where our kids can learn to love your neighbor as yourself.

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Unfortunately, our good objectives might have absolutely nothing to do with the gospel of Jesus Christ, and we inadvertently end up raising pagans instead of Christians.

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Too many times, Christian parents have it as their goal to make their kids good and moral. It is as if the entire purpose of their family's spiritual life is to shape their children into law -abiding citizens who stay out of trouble.

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The only problem with this goal is that it runs in stark contrast to what the Bible teaches. The gospel is not about making bad people moral, but about making dead people alive.

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If we teach morality without the transforming power of the gospel and the necessity of a life fully surrendered to God's will, then we're raising moral pagans.

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We end up teaching the wrong things because we have the wrong objectives. Now this is where the author gives us a little bit of insight into the creator of VeggieTales.

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He says, This sentiment was stirred in me afresh when I read an interview with VeggieTales creator Phil Fisher.

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He was reflecting on how the Christian message, quote -unquote, he was trying to teach wasn't

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Christianity at all. This is what the creator of VeggieTales said. I looked back at the previous 10 years and realized

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I had spent 10 years trying to convince kids to behave Christianly without actually teaching them

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Christianity, and that was a pretty serious conviction. You can say, hey kids, be more forgiving because the

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Bible says so, or hey kids, be more kind because the Bible says so, but that isn't Christianity, it's immorality.

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And that was such a huge shift for me from the American Christian ideal. We're drinking a cocktail that's a mix of Protestant work ethic, the

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American dream, and the gospel. And we've intertwined them so completely that we can't tell them apart anymore.

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Our gospel has become a gospel of following your dreams and being good so God will make all your dreams come true.

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It's the Oprah God. And that's what the creator of VeggieTales said. He's acknowledging this concept that his stories were filled with fluff, sometimes really great things, but things that had the wrong motivation or things that just kind of filled the time and kind of would kind of the purpose of just helping kids to be good without truly knowing

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God. Barrett's article continues and said, so what's the objective? Do you teach your kids to be good because the

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Bible tells you to, or do you teach your kids that they will never be good without Christ's offer of grace?

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There's a huge difference. One leads to moralism. The other leads to brokenness. One leads to self -righteousness.

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The other leads to a life that realizes that Christ is everything and that nothing else matters.

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He says, I want my kids to be good. We all do. But as our kids grow up, the truth of the gospel can easily get lost somewhere between salvation where we know we need

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Jesus and living life where we tend to say, I've got this. My experience is that the vast majority of parents are encouraging moral behavior in their kids so that God will bless their usually self -centered pursuits.

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It's the American dream plus Jesus, and it produces good, moral pagans.

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Consider the key objectives you have for your kids. Seriously, take a minute to think about what would deem you a successful parent.

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If your goals are focused on your kids' behavior, their happiness, or their accomplishments, but don't include a dependence upon Christ and a submission to his will and work, then you might want to make some adjustments.

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The world has enough pagans, even plenty of really nice ones. What we need is kids who fully grasp the reality that they have nothing to offer, but who intimately know a

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God who has everything they need. And that's really what this whole focus on fluffy children's ministries is.

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We don't want to be fluffy at home, but we don't want our kids in a fluffy program too, where they're being taught the wrong ideas or they're just wasting time in an over -glorified babysitting service.

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And you know what I find really interesting? In my many years, I've moved around a lot.

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Where I am living now, this is my 21st move. And I've seen that churches with the most biblically sound children's ministries promote kids sitting with their families in the main service.

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And when the kids do have their own service times, they resemble the adult services with informed worship, biblical exposition, and appropriate application.

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And they know how to have fun too. I would highly encourage you to spend some time getting to know your children's

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Sunday school and children's church programs. Are they assisting followers of Christ in their sanctification, or are they equipping the next generation of moral pagans?

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If you're involved in children's ministries, first know that I thank you for your service. But I'd like to encourage you to reevaluate your program and the philosophies underlying it.

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Be certain your program is Christ -centered and Bible -dominated. In a future episode, we're going to discuss

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Ken Ham's book, Already Gone, and how you can help your kids not be the next ones to leave the church and never come back, because this is all interrelated.

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Many of the episodes we've been doing recently, and if you haven't heard the ones that come before this, I would really encourage you to go back and listen, because we're all leading up to this idea of how we can help our children know

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God and know Him better, and not lose them to the world. Because as a Christian counselor or family counselor,

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I come in contact with this all of the time. Parents come to me and they say, I don't know how

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I lost my kids. I don't know what happened. They were in the church. They loved God.

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They said they were a Christian. They were doing all these things, and now there's just nothing. There's no relationship. There's no passion for God at all.

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What happened? And I encounter this all of the time, and I want to help equip you. I want you to be a premeditated parent who can see into the future potential issues that could happen and start addressing them now.

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And one of these issues is the children's ministries that our kids are part of, where the stories of Noah and the

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Ark aren't taught as biblical truth. They're taught as cute morality tales, where our children aren't being entrenched in who

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God is. They're just being told how to be good. The quality of our children's ministries is paramount to our kids developing a genuine and robust relationship with God.

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As always, if you need help with this, or you have any other questions, please feel free to email us at counselor at evermindministries .com.

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We're so thankful you've joined us today, and we'd love to get some feedback from you as to how we can make Truth, Love, Parent more applicable to you, how we can answer questions that you have and deal with issues that you're struggling with in your home.

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So please, don't hesitate to reach out to us. Have a great day. Truth, Love, Parent is part of the

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Evermind Ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional, premeditated parent.

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Join us next time as we search God's Word for the truth your family needs today.