TLP 187: A Parent’s 5 Jobs, Part 4 | Counselor

Truth.Love.Parent.

Subscribe

Download

Share

00

00:06

So you've taught your kids God's truth and you reprove your kids when they stray from the truth

00:11

But what do you do when they submit? What do you do when they refuse to submit? Welcome to truth love parents where we use

00:19

God's Word to become intentional Premeditated parents. Here's your host a .m.

00:25

Brewster. Thank you for joining us today. If this is your first episode I welcome you TLP is a podcast for Christian parents who want to parent the way

00:33

God intended and the series we're currently in is about The five jobs with which God has tasked us.

00:39

Of course, this is part four of the series So I recommend if you're just joining us to start with episode 184

00:45

Actually, I encourage you to start with our pilot series in episode 1 Our content is evergreen because it's rooted firmly in God's Word and his truth is eternally relevant and applicable

00:55

And for those of you returning with us today I welcome you as well If you've never taken advantage of our free episode notes and transcript of each show

01:03

I challenge you to check that out on our blog taking back the family And speaking of our blog, we're gonna feature a guest author in the very near future

01:10

He's a pastor from California who wrote a series of parent focused articles for his congregation and he's partnered with truth love parent and we'll be sharing that content with you over the next few months and Lastly before we get into today's topic, please check out

01:24

Facebook for more information about our first TLP meetup in Dallas, Texas I can't wait to connect with you face to face talk pray and encourage each other

01:32

I hope that if you will be or are in the Dallas area on September 17th 2018 you'll make plans to stop by and keep listening to the podcast for more details and like us on Facebook to get event updates

01:44

Okay So today we're going to discuss the fourth job all Christian parents have been called to do By way of review as followers of Christ Our main responsibility is to be an ambassador part of that job requires us to teach our children

01:56

God's truth When they reject that truth, we need to help them reinterpret their worldview

02:01

But what do we do if our kids continue to reject the truth? What do we do if they accept our reinterpretation of life and that's the focus for today now as a reminder we're taking our marching orders from 2nd

02:13

Timothy 3 16 if we're to be God's ambassadors and if he created the Bible to be the perfect revelation of himself and if the

02:20

Bible was created to be used in four Specific ways then we can know God expects us to be part of that process

02:26

Let's reread the passage together All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching for reproof for correction and for training and righteousness

02:35

That the man of God may be complete equipped for every good work Teaching speaks to our educator role reproof describes our interpreter role and correction sums up today's focus

02:46

The Greek word translated correction is used only one time in the Bible like we learned earlier. That's called a hapax legomena

02:52

Sometimes they can complicate things when you're trying to understand the root idea of a word in ancient language What we know is that this word refers to a restoration to an upright or right state

03:02

I love how this passage just grows on itself. You know, it's not presenting four unrelated tasks

03:08

It's giving us four jobs that can be applied to the same task depending on how hard it becomes

03:13

Picture it this way in theory all it should take for our children to submit to God is to teach them the truth

03:19

However, since they so often live in a delusion just like we do God's called us to help them reinterpret life

03:25

If they submit to God's interpretation, then we have another tool to help our children be restored to the right state

03:30

That tool is called correction or better yet counsel This means that our third job as parents is to be our kids counselors in episode 53.

03:40

Dr Heath Lambert and I discussed the differences between parenting and counseling. It was a great interview You should really check it out.

03:46

And those of you who heard it should remember that they're practically identical I made a similar observation about counseling and discipleship in episode 173 earlier this season when we were talking about disciple making parents

03:58

Counseling discipleship and parenting are the exact same job exercise within slightly different though, sometimes identical relationships

04:06

Counseling will include instruction and interpretation, but primarily it's the process of helping someone put off their sinful choices

04:12

Renew their minds and put on Christ likeness to correct their course Let's consider that passage for a moment.

04:19

It's Ephesians 4 17 through 24 I know we've looked at Ephesians 4 a lot recently, but this is a different part of the chapter

04:26

Now this I say and testify in the Lord that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do in the futility of their minds

04:32

They are darkened in their understanding alienated from the life of God because of an ignorance that is in them due to their hardness of heart

04:39

They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality greedy to practice every kind of impurity

04:46

Paul's describing people who have not submitted to truth They're ignorant and dark in their understanding because they reject the teaching they received and their interpretation of life is futility

04:55

It's delusional and so they live in a calloused existence filled with sin, but listen to the next word

05:01

But I love that God always has a plan, but that is not the way you learned

05:07

Christ Assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him There's the teaching role as the truth is in Jesus to put off your old self which belongs to the former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and To be renewed in the spirit of your minds and to put on the new self

05:23

Created after the likeness of God and true righteousness and holiness The renewing of our minds is accepting

05:29

God's interpretation of our lives and the correction occurs as we turn from sin to righteousness

05:35

That's what counseling does using the scripture We help our children know what they need to stop and what they need to start in order to align themselves with the interpretation

05:42

They now believe the interpretation you taught them from God's Word if your children want to learn to obey

05:48

Can you show them from the Bible what they need to stop doing and what they need to start doing if your kids are being?

05:54

Tempted by drugs. Do you know what the Bible says about the things I need to cease and the practices I need to embrace

05:59

What about sexuality what about tattling what about lying and complaining and laziness and greed as Parents God wants us equipped to use his word to connect those dots for our kids

06:10

It's all there. The Bible is sufficient for our parenting. We just have to know it We have to expand our parenting

06:16

Bibles We need to study the word grow therein and let that flow over into our kids and like Ephesians 4 said this will result in our children being created in the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness and This is pretty much the whole mission of truth love parent

06:31

We accept that this podcast is primarily for born -again believers who need to grow in our five parenting responsibilities

06:37

So we use God's Word to teach and interpret and correct and train in order to teach you how to teach and interpret and correct

06:44

And train and many of our most well -liked episodes are the ones that step us through the put off put on progression

06:50

Now there are any number of verses to which we could turn to discuss biblical counseling But to be honest, we spent a lot of that time there already in order to broaden your understanding of this topic

07:00

Please listen to the episode I mentioned before but you all seem to check out episode 4 Don't lose your influence that show deals with another

07:08

Greek word. That's all about the topic of counseling So we teach our kids what's right, but they choose to sin

07:13

So we help them interpret their choices and consequences in light of God's Word and they choose to submit Then and only then can we help them correct their ways via counseling now

07:24

It's important to remember the progression I believe too many parents want to be a counselor parent all the time without exercising the other jobs

07:32

Teaching is the foundation. We must all lay with our kids and continue to strengthen every day but a good interpreter parent doesn't avoid teaching an interpreter parents job is going to involve more teaching or reminders about what they previously learned on top of the interpretation and then the counselor parent will constantly be teaching and interpreting as they correct and You can imagine the fourth job is going to include the other three and being a good ambassador

07:56

Requires that we know how to do all four well In a moment Aaron's going to give a real -life example from our own kids how ambassador parents utilize teaching

08:07

Interpreting and counseling to work through a situation regarding chores But before he does that we want to remind you to share this episode with your friends

08:15

You can post it on social media, but you can also email it directly to someone who needs it You can also find our free episode notes at taking back the family and our full transcript to read in your leisure and don't forget that we create all of this free content to help equip you to become the fifth parent

08:32

Aaron's been talking about and God's been gracious enough to provide the finances necessary to continue ministering to families all over the globe through listeners like you

08:42

We are a listener supported ministry And if you'd like to be used by God to help increase the reach of truth

08:48

You can learn more by clicking the five ways to support TLP link in the description Even if it's only one dollar a month

08:55

God can use it to change a family Now enjoy the rest of the show All of this means that when your child gets sassy with their sibling while doing the dishes as the ambassador

09:07

You must step into their lives as God would so you either teach or assuming you've already taught these truths

09:13

You remind your child what God says about being kind and loving and preferring each other Lord willing they submit apologize and the dishes get finished to the honor and glory of God But if they don't then you need to don the next hat you then move into interpreter mode

09:28

Since the child doesn't seem to care about the truth They just received you're going to need to give more and you're going to also have to help your child see that they're living in A delusion they think they can reject

09:38

God's will and be successful, but that couldn't be further from the truth So you remind your children of the greatness of God and his right to rule creation

09:45

You remind them that sin hurts and explain to them how their sin is destroying the foundation of the relationships in their home

09:51

You can talk about the fool the apostate the unbeliever or anyone in scripture who illustrates this point

09:57

Lord willing the child submits apologizes and the dishes get finished to the honor and glory of God as you help your child correct their behavior

10:05

But what if they don't what if they continue refusing God's reality? Like I said before I think too many people move into the correction phase is the next logical step

10:14

They tell their child how they need to talk and act Threaten them if they don't and either the child gives in so as not to be punished or they continue to push and receive the

10:22

Consequences and we somehow think we've corrected them In fact how we use the term correct proves this point in many of our minds correction is the process of giving consequences

10:32

However, true correction only occurs when the child has stopped going the wrong way and is now going the correct way

10:38

Let me say it this way. You cannot correct someone who doesn't want to be corrected We already have a tool for that someone who wants to continue living in a delusion needs to be educated and reinterpreted

10:50

Now if you're interpreting the right way Consequences will definitely be involved.

10:55

They must be it's biblical and you're an ambassador parent And we have a number of episodes about how to do that correctly

11:01

But you can't move to the counseling stage until the child genuinely submits to the reinterpretation

11:06

Not just as conciliated to keep from receiving more consequences Too much time is wasted trying to counsel children who need reproof and like I said in disciple -making parents

11:17

You can't counsel an unbeliever or someone who's living like one Teaching is a tool that God created to be usable on any person

11:25

Reproof was created by God to be used on people who reject teaching regardless of their relationship with the

11:30

Lord But counseling was created by God to only work on people who submit to the teaching and the reproof

11:37

So let's make sure we're using the right tools for the right jobs Don't put on your counselor hat if your child needs education and interpretation.

11:44

You're just wasting your time So there we go the ambassador parent also needs to be an educator parent an interpreter parent and a counselor parent and on our next episode we're going to Talk about the fifth and final job

11:56

God called and created each parent to do And if you're having a unique struggle at home and would like specialized answers to your specific needs

12:03

Please don't hesitate to contact counselor at truthloveparent .com We'd love to see how we can best serve you and your family

12:09

Being a counselor parent is actually one of the most enjoyable jobs It happens with the context of a child humbly admitting their fault and desiring to change

12:17

But you have to lay the right foundation before you can get there and you don't want to get there too soon So be wise to know which job you need to do in the moment to that end.

12:27

I'll see you next time truth love Parents is part of the evermind ministries family and is dedicated to helping you become an intentional