John 15:12-17 (Defined By Christ)

Friendship Defined by Ancient Wisdom and Proverbs

Thank you for subscribing to the Shepherds Church podcast. This is our Lord's Day Sermon. We pray that as we declare the Word of God that you would be encouraged Strengthened in your faith and that you would catch a greater vision of who Christ is.

May you be blessed in the hearing of God's Word and may the Lord be with you. If I were to ask you, what does friendship mean? What would you say? Maybe a better question would be what is the difference between your friend and your enemy?

Now it's easy to come up with answers to that. Maybe you say my friends are nice to me. Well, I've known conniving devils who will be nice to your face and stab you in the back. So that's really not a good maxim for whether a person is a friend.

Maybe say well my friends wish me well. Well, I can imagine any demon and any any person wishing you well as you march boldly towards hell. Maybe you say my friends make me feel good. Well, that's definitely not a measure of whether they're a true friend or not.

Because there's lots of things that we can be encouraged in that are destructive and damaging to us. See the elementary enemy the enemy that I'm thankful for is the one who makes themselves known by how much they hate me.

It's the enemy that is kind to me. It's the enemy that is that smiles at me. It's the enemy that says I'll pray for you or and and they have nothing at all. But my worst interest at heart the enemy who doesn't even know they're an enemy.

That becomes less obvious and the more potent and dangerous enemy. See the difference I think between a friend and an enemy and what true friendship is is a true friend. Will celebrate when you seek Christ in a true enemy.

Will only ever cheer for you when you sin. That's the difference an enemy will cheer for you and affirm you make you feel good whenever you sin. A true friend is Willing to hurt you. A true friend is willing to make you bleed.

A true friend is willing to call you out. When you are deviating from the paths of righteousness. Now we've messed this up in the modern world we have a view of friendship that is very pagan a View of friendship where you have to meet all my needs and make me feel special.

And if you don't you're not my friend. That is not the definition of friendship. Now the ancients actually viewed friendship quite differently than we do today. They didn't view friendship as the meeting of our individual needs because they didn't live in an individualistic society.

They wouldn't have even thought that way. They've said what do you mean my friend exists for me? They would have seen their friend was not there to support their delicate fragile and snowflake egos. They would have seen their friend as a part of their corporate identity.

They've said my friend is the one who helps me become better who pushes me who spurs me on. See the view of friendship in the ancient world was not like it is today where my friends exist for me. The view of friendship in the ancient world was I exist.

To bless my friend. It wasn't internally focused. It was externally focused. I am there to bless My friend that was the default mode of what a friendship was and it was deep and it was intimate. It wasn't shallow and superficial like friendships are in the West where we cultivate them over social media.

Those aren't friends. Their entire life was laid bare for one another. You remember David and Jonathan. Two of the best examples of friends in the Bible loved each other knew each other and Isn't it funny that that's what the modern skeptics attack is the friendship of David and Jonathan.

Read the commentaries from the secular commentators. They will assume some sort of nefarious intent between David and Jonathan because they had an intimate friendship. It's because of the modern world.

I think we don't understand friendship. We even hate what friendship represents. Friendship in the ancient world was about a mutually Beneficial outcome for the future. So that if my friend succeeds I succeed.

It's also true that if my friend falls into dishonor and I do nothing that I also fall into dishonor my friends life Was in my hands and to some degree his outcomes were my responsibility. I was supposed to look out for him and watch him.

You remember the old movie Thelma and Louise. Where both of them died because one of the ladies? Idea to fly over the Grand Canyon. That's a great example of what friendship is if your friend is flying towards the edge of a cliff.

You stop them you don't let them keep going and cheer for them and say you to you. Yeah, you're destroying your marriage, yeah, you're destroying your life. Yeah, you're making an awful decision, but I don't want you to feel bad about it.

That's not friendship that's hatred. The necessity of you intervening in a friend's life. Was morally obligated in the ancient world if you were driving close to a cliff. They would not get out the pom-poms and cheer you.

They would do everything they can to stop you. That's what a friend is. They would not have walked on eggshells to protect your feelings. They would have not blanketed you with fat flowery placations.

They would have been for your good even if it meant fighting you. When you refused the good. Now this view of friendship is sort of monolithic in the ancient world. We don't have friendship in the way that we do today until we get to the modern era.

So that the ancients would have you the most hateful thing that you could have ever done to another person. And the most destructive thing that you could ever do to yourself Was to allow your friend to continue to stumble towards wickedness that was seen as hate in the ancient world.

Now for many in the modern world that kind of relationship is the last thing that we want. We would call that kind of friend nosy. We would call that kind of friend pushy controlling suffocating. There's a great story of a woman who was her husband was a missionary and she goes to an African tribe and the African People are surrounding her so much that she can't stand it.

So she goes and she sits on the roof of the little hut that she's in. I just need some alone time and. Then one of the ladies climbed up to the roof and sat beside her and she's like, why are you always with me?

And the lady said I love you. I Want to know you. We look at that and we say gosh, that's suffocating. That kind of friendship we might whine and protest that they're always correcting us. They're always You know in my space.

They're not giving me any space. We would become annoyed by that because it doesn't bolster our view of self today friends. Don't encourage. Don't encourage the mother who's looking for an abortion to stop and to reconsider.

Today friends don't look at their brother and say is it really a good idea for you to meet with that woman? Who's not your wife? Is it really a good idea for you to put yourself in that situation? Is it really a good idea for you to handle your finances that way?

Friends are so uninvolved in each other's lives today that it can barely be called friendship. And when we get to the point to where we feel threatened our sacred view of self becomes threatened. What we normally do is we isolate we push our friends away.

And we become alone. Look at what the modern world has done to our view a friendship. It's fragmented us as people and it's left us alone. It's given us a plastic veneer. That's not the real mahogany desk.

It's given us pyrite instead of 24 karat gold. It's given us cubic zirconian, but not the diamond. It's funny to me that the wisest book in the Bible Proverbs is the one that talks about friendship the most.

Because it's foolish To not have a good friend. Proverbs 18 24 says a man with many companions may come to ruin. Modern day translation a man with many facebook friends or twitter followers May come to ruin.

But there's a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 29 7 oil and perfume make the heart glad and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. Proverbs 27 17. I love this one. Iron sharpens iron.

As one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27 6 faithful are the wounds of a friend. Perfuse are the kisses of an enemy. Wisdom literature outside of proverbs talks about friendship more than any other book in the bible.

Ecclesiastes 4 9 through 10 2 are better than 1 because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall one will lift up his fellow. The book of james is the new testament wisdom literature and it has the friendliest language when it comes to this and you may be.

Like and it seems pretty harsh. No, no. No, he's being a good friend. He says you adulterous people. Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with god? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of god.

James is being our friend. He's telling us exactly what we need to hear. He's not sugarcoating it or placating it. He's not being the kind of friend a modern would be. Oh, you called me an adulterous person.

You big meanie. He's being a true friend. Again a friend does not prop up our egos. I love that verse in proverbs where iron sharpens iron. Let's not let's not hallmark card every bible verse here. If you've ever sharpened an axe it is hot.

It grinds there's sparks that fly. There's pieces of metal that get broken off. My friend Is willing to hurt me in order to sharpen me. That's what I want in a friend. I don't want someone who's going to tell me what I want to hear.

Of course in my flesh. That's what I want. But it doesn't help me. It hurts me. We see in these passages that you will not have very many of these in your life. The man who has one the woman who has one person.

Who is willing to be this for you is a blessed person. It is difficult for us to have friendships. In the world that we live in it's difficult For us to even get to the point of intimacy and trust where we can have someone speak into our life like that.

We've had example after example after example of people hurting us. That kind of friend is a blessing. That kind of friend will wound you for your good and that's the kind of friend that jesus is talking about in our passage today.

He's not talking about a friend who will grab the pom-poms and cheer on your perversions. He's talking about a friend who loves you too much to let you give into your carnal desires. Have you ever had a friend jesus says this in this passage.

You ever had a friend who say you can be my friend if you do everything that I say. We would never have a friend like that today, right. Oh. What a control freak. You can be my friend if I do everything you say who do you think you are?

We would look at that person as a tyrant of the highest order, but jesus says If you're my friend Then you will do what I say. That's the view of friendship. He presents to us. And jesus is not demanding and he's not narcissistic and he's not egotistical for saying that he is god.

If you and I said that to one another if I said you can be my friend if you do everything I say you would look at me like I was crazy. Because i'm sinful and i'm and I have sinful motives. But christ who is god who only ever gives good to his people says if you want to be my friend.

Then you have to do everything that I say, which means that if you're going to be a friend of christ Is to lay yourself down lay your life down. And do the bidding of jesus. It's the friendliest and the kindest and the most loving thing that christ could ever say to you to lay yourself down.

And do only what I tell you because only what he tells you is good. Jesus is the true friend that each and every single one of us has been looking for and because of that We need him to define the relationship.

We don't need us to define the relationship. We're broken. Imagine I don't this is totally Hypothetical situations never happened in real life. But imagine a bunch of people from massachusetts moved across the border to new hampshire.

And they took their failed policies with them and you'd say You're a fool. You left because you ruined it here. And now you're bringing your broken ideas to hypothetically to new hampshire. And you're trying to ruin it for us.

Think about the way jesus looks at us and says. The very things that damned you that broke you Need to be laid down. Don't bring your broken ideas to this relationship. You you are you fleed those things because they were sending you to hell.

You turned to me because you needed a savior. So now I will define the relationship. Don't bring your brokenness anymore lay it down come to me. And that's what we're going to be talking about today. What does it mean for christ to be our true friend?

We're going to be looking at john 15 verses 12 through 17. The discerning among us will go ahead and turn there with your lovely cowhide bible. And you will go ahead and get ready for the reading of the word.

Today we're going to look at five ways that jesus defines the relationship. Five ways that he defines who we are who he is. And those five things are first jesus defines who he is. And he's going to define the fact that he is god.

The second thing we'll look at is jesus defines how we are to live as his friends. We'll look at number three how jesus defines who we are to be in this relationship. Number four. We'll look at how jesus defined who we have become.

And then fifth we will see how jesus defines what we are to do. Jesus does not allow us to define the relationship today. We're going to see five ways that christ has already defined it and may we submit to his vision.

So if you will let us read together john 15 verses 12 through 17. This is my commandment. That you love one another just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this. That they that one laid down his life for his friends.

You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves. For the slave does not know what his master is doing. But I have called you friends for all things that I have heard from my father.

I've made known to you. You did not choose me. But I chose you and appointed you. That you would go and bear fruit and that your fruit would remain. So that whatever you ask in my name He may give it to you.

This I command you. That you love one another. Let us pray Lord jesus. Thank you so much for The fact that you're our friend our true friend. You're not the friend that tells us to do whatever we want.

You're not the friend that tells us to make ourself happy. You're not the friend that tells us to pursue our truth. You're the friend who confronts us. Reveals our sin to us. Tells us to follow you and to do everything that you've said.

I can think of nothing more friendly and more loving than what you have done dear jesus. So help us today as we. As we look at your word. To submit ourselves under the vision of it. Lord help us not to continue to think that our relationship with you is on our terms.

It's not Lord help us to can. Help us not to continue to live as though we get to control things. We don't Lord help us to see that we don't belong to ourselves. We belong to him. And in that belonging he has defined the relationship and made it crystal clear what he wants from us.

And lord, I pray that we would all come to a place of humility and trust. That we would trust our friend our true older brother. The author and redeemer of our faith. That we would follow him where he tells us to go.

Christ Defines Himself as God and Commands Us to Love One Another

We would lay aside our need for control. It's in christ's name. We pray amen. The first thing we're going to look at today is that jesus defines who he is. He's not going to talk about the relationship until he tells us who he is and he begins by saying this is my Commandment, which is nothing short of jesus declaring himself to be god.

Over and over and over we've seen in the gospel of john that jesus declares himself to be god in very specific ways. That most people are not picking up on we've had scholars say multiple times. Jesus never claimed to be god.

You fool. He says this is my command. That's a that's a declaration of deity. How so? Because only god issues commands in scripture. Only god gives commands. He's the one who gave the first scriptural command to adam in the garden of eden.

He's the one who spoke the commands to abraham. He's the one who drew moses and the people of israel to mount sinai and gave them the 10 commandments and then gave them. The entire law it is god who gives commands to his people god alone.

Now we look at it in the scriptures every new piece of material That is given by god can be contained in the first five books of the bible. Did you know that? Everything that comes after that is either historical record in light of that or commentary on top of that.

God speaks the universe into existence. God gives his people his vision for humanity be fruitful multiply spread out to the ends of the earth and then Through a series of patriarchs and then through a series of electing and drawing the people to himself.

He gives everything new that he will ever give and he even In the first five books of the bible tells us that we need a savior to come and crush the head of the serpent. That we need a true and better king.

We need a true and better prophet. The entire gospel is there in the first five books so that god is the one who gives us new information. And that new information is pervasive in the first five books.

He's the one who gives us the commands of god. So that when jesus says This is my command. It is nothing short of him saying that I am god in the flesh and i've brought a new commandment to you the command stopped.

At the end of the book of deuteronomy, like I said everything after that was commentary on that. So every new command and the prophets was pointing back to leviticus numbers and deuteronomy. So when jesus says this is my command he's saying That god is back in the flesh and he is commanding you.

He is bringing law to his people. In the same way that god descended onto mount sinai and spoke to moses as his friend jesus descends from heaven to earth. And he's speaking to his 12 friends the disciples.

And he's giving new commands for a new people. What jesus is doing is saying I am god by giving this command. So he's defining the relationship. What he's doing is he's saying after you understand that I am god everything I say matters.

Everything I say about you everything I say about this relationship everything that I say about this friendship is now on a different level. So that now is unrivaled and unchallengeable. God in the flesh is going to define our relationship with him.

There's examples of jesus doing this of telling us that he's god. John 13 34 a new commandment I give to you that you love one another he would only say that if he were god. John 14 15 if you love me, you will keep my commandments.

He would only have said that if he was god in the flesh. Last week's passage if you keep my commandments. It's like jesus thought he wrote them. Of course he did. God the father is is spirit. So what was the finger that wrote on the 10 commandments?

Who's the one who walked with adam in the garden? Who's the one who met with abraham outside his tent? It was christ. He did write the commandments. So he says you love me. You obey my commandments. He's talking about what he wrote.

This week's passage he says this is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you. This is not jesus being Pompous or narcissistic. This is jesus saying These are my commands. And if you love me, you'll obey them.

Again, jesus is defining the relationship by defining himself. And he has defined himself as god. So therefore everything that he says matters. He has the authority to tell us what to do. And we have the responsibility to submit.

That's the first thing the second thing. Is jesus defines how we are to live? As believers and as his friends it says in 12a. This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you so that's he's telling us now how he expects us to live.

Again he has the authority to define our life and he's the one who said that I want you to love each other. He is establishing a standard by which he wants his people to obey. By the way that we love one another.

If you ask yourself the question that francis schaeffer asked 20 30 years ago, how then shall we live? Then what we're really asking is what did the lord say in his word because that's the question that we're trying to get at.

And what did the lord say? He didn't say love each other. Love each other as I have loved you. Do you realize that this is not a suggestion for us the people of god? He didn't say. This is my suggestion if you have time and if you get around to it love each other.

He said love each other like I have loved you which means that there's a standard of how he wants us to love. He doesn't want us to love like kind of good or like this watered down sort of love or if you get around to it and if you feel like you say Love each other like I loved you.

Like I loved you. He is speaking to people Who've been slaves of satan for their entire life. People who were dead and who now are getting ready to be given life in his resurrection. People who were on the plantations of lucifer.

Who are now going to be transferred into his service and he did not do that. So that we could have whatever we want. He freed us from slavery to sin to make us slaves of righteousness so that we would do his commands.

A question that I want to ask you today is do you know that Christ owns your life. He bought and paid for it on the cross at calvary. You are not your own. You were bought with a price. Do you know that?

Do you academically know that that's where we start. But do you know that deeper in your heart. In your behavior in your mind and your will. That your life is not your own. You belong to jesus christ.

1 corinthians 6 20 says you are not your own brothers and sisters, but you've been bought with a price. Therefore glorify god with your bodies. When we talk about how we're to live we talk about what jesus said and jesus told us that we are to love each other.

Can you imagine what the church would look like if we follow that command? Can you imagine what the church of christ would look like? If we loved each other like christ loved us. There would never be a division.

The church of corinth would still be around. He is telling us not to love each. Not to love each other like we love but to love each other. Like he loves with the same fiery passion and holiness that he loves.

He's telling us to have a joyful love for the brothers and sisters around us. Look to your left and right. Have an exuberant love for the people who are to your left and right. Have a patient and kind love.

Have a long suffering kind of love. Have a gentle and tender love. Have a ferocious and uncompromising love. Have a loyal love. A Sacrificial love. An eternal love for the saints of god. The commandment that he is binding us to.

Is that we would love one another as he has loved us by giving his life for us. Why would we not give our lives for one another? He could have made any new commandment he wanted. He could have said this is my commandment on worship.

Or this is my commandment on how to love god better. Or this is my commandment on how to do sabbath or baptism or any of those things. But he says this is my commandment that you love one another he's saying.

That one of the central features of his Ministry of redemption to his people is that we would be known by how we love one another. Because of his crucifixion the power of your Sin would be crushed. So that you would be freed to be invested in the lives of other people as friends.

As true friends who care for one another. Who give themselves up for one another. The kind of love that would make this little room the sweetest spot to be in in all of massachusetts. The kind of love that would bind us together in unity.

The kind of love that would protect us from all division. The kind of love that would fuel us to join together on gospel mission. The kind of love that would have us in each other's homes throughout the week.

The kind of love that would call us to serve one another. When there's a need to pray for one another to remember the prayer requests that are shared. And to check up on people when you have when you know that they have a need.

The kind of love that would make us Follow up with them and make sure that they're okay. To become the kind of friends to one another that christ has been to us laying down our lives. He says in john 10 17 for this reason the father loves me.

That I lay down my life that I may take it up again. He says that god especially Loves him because he gave himself up for us. Why do you think he tells us to love one another. Because he he's disinterested in our personal time.

Because he wants us to be miserable. Do you think that's why he said it? If god loved him and poured out on his love onto christ because christ gave everything for us. Christ by calling us to give everything for one another is inviting us into god's love.

If god was pleased with christ for doing this wouldn't god be pleased with his church for doing the exact Same thing. Isn't this why jesus commanded us to love one another? That's the second thing that we see here is that Brothers and sisters We are called to love one another.

With the same white hot affection and ferocious dedication that christ loved us. Will we get that right? No. The question is not have we arrived at our destination. The question is if we are even going in the right direction.

Do we seek and are we striving to love one another. Or do we treat sunday morning as an event where we come and we consume The worship and we consume the sermon and we leave and we go about our lives.

Do the people who are to your left and right matter to you? Or are they spectators that are sitting beside you that you will leave and see again next week. It matters. He's binding us to this. That's the second thing the third Jesus defines who we have become as believers.

He says you are my friends if you do what I command. No longer do I call you slaves for the slave does not know what his master is doing. But i've called you friends for all things that i've heard from my father.

I have made known to you. Now I don't want us to get confused here because the bible does call us slaves. And I want us to understand that in romans 6 18. It calls us slaves of righteousness. In romans 6 22 slaves of god.

Ephesians 6 6 slaves of christ. We are still slaves. Just because christ has purchased us out of slavery to sin does not mean he's given us libertine freedom to do whatever we want. We are under his authority and under his reign and under his rule and under his authority and power.

And we have to understand what slavery looks like in the ancient world because it's not the same as What we've seen in the modern world when we talk about Slavery to christ. We're not talking about chattel slavery.

Which is an example of what egypt did to israel or what babylon did to israel or what nineveh did to israel? That's not the kind of slavery we're talking about. We're talking about the kind of paid labor that brought blessings to a person.

Where let's say that you came upon some large measure of debt. And someone graciously brought you into their home and put you as a worker in their field and allowed you to work. To pay off that debt it would lift you out of poverty.

It would bring blessings upon you and it would be a way that that homeowner could could give you something. To where at the end of that period he could send you off with blessings. It's very different Than the slavery that we view today.

An example in scripture would be jacob and laban. Do you remember jacob he goes into great debt because he wants a wife. And he pledges seven years to his father-in-law and he works in the fields diligently and then.

There's a little bit of a hiccup and he gives seven more years, but that's beside the point. That's sort of what a biblical view of what slavery is is i'm in debt and i'll pay it off through Faithful labor.

How much more. So brother and sister are we in debt to the grace of christ? We came with a balance sheet that no one could pay save christ. And now he's put us into his fields. He nourishes us. He's brought us into his home.

He pays us through the means of grace like. These things are true, but it's even better than that. Because jesus says in this passage that I no longer call you slaves, but I call you friends. What he's saying is is that you are the kind of slave that no one else on earth could even imagine you are my friend also.

There's some differences between slavery in the old testament and friendship. And obedience isn't one of them. When we look at when we look at friendship. We can't take obedience out of the equation because jesus says if you're my friend you will obey me.

The difference between a friend and a slave is that the friend sat at his table during dinner time. The friend got to know his history and his past and he trusted him and he spoke with him and he and he developed and Cultivated this relationship.

The the blessing that was given to the slave was i'm lifting you up out of poverty. I'm doing all these things for you, but you don't have a relationship with me. On that deep and intimate level, but jesus says that you're my friend.

So not only have I rescued you out of your poverty. Not only have I rescued you out of your infinite debt that you could have never paid. I've brought you to my table. And i've given you a relationship with me.

So that you're now my friend now. Because of the limits of language it's difficult to describe how radical these things are. Because again, we have views of friendship and you know, that's my boy. Or you know girlfriend or whatever else?

Christ is elevating us to a status that should shock us. That we're friends of christ. This is the very first time that this phrase has ever been spoken in scripture that we would be a friend of god. And it's only because of the finished work of jesus christ what he did for us on the cross.

It's not shallow and it's not superficial. It is his committed Diligent ferocious intimacy that drove him with joy to step every single step that he took up that hill called calvary to Be tortured for you to bring you into fellowship with him.

So that now his friendship has opened us up. To experience the gentleness of his love. No longer the wrath of god that we were deserved but the gentle tender affection of the father who loves us through the son.

But he also has brought us into relationships that we would experience the ferociousness of his love. Because god chastens the ones he loves. So three things so far jesus has defined himself as god and because of that he has told us that we are to love one another and We're to be his friends.

And if we're his friends, we will do what he says. The fourth thing we'll look at this morning is that jesus defines whose we have become. He says in verse 16. You did not choose me, but I chose you. And appointed you that you would go and bear fruit.

This is not Evangelical decisionism where I have decided to follow jesus. No, you didn't he chose you. This is not I rose. I raised my hand and I put it down on a card. No, you didn't. You might have done that but that wasn't what saved you.

Can you imagine god in heaven being like? I didn't want that guy, but he filled out the card. What a flippant view of god. He says you didn't choose me. I chose you. We didn't seek him. He sought us. We didn't find him.

He found us. We didn't even want him. Did you do you realize the depth of our sin? That before he pulled us out of it and breathed life into us. We didn't even want him. We hated him. By our actions of our heart.

We were haters of god dead in our sins conceived in iniquity. You go back and you look at your baby pictures. Yeah, you looked cute. But you were a viper in a diaper. Until the lord jesus christ pulled you out.

You didn't crave his lordship. You white-knuckled your own self-control and your own self-preservation and your own sin-loving pleasures. But now that we're free. Now that we're free. Our eyes are open.

We can see the truth. That he came seeking us long before we ever sought him. He chose us. And why did he choose us? He chose us for a purpose. And what is the purpose? That we would love one another.