The Love of God with R. C. Sproul, “Abiding Love,” 11

Love as the Negation of Envy and Covetousness

As we continue now with our study of 1 Corinthians 13, as we see in it a reflection of the love of God itself. And we are told that love does not envy. In this case we're getting the way of negation. Now what Paul is telling us is not so much what love is, but rather he's saying what it is not.

And love is not envious. I think it's significant that one of the Ten Commandments, one of the top ten sins that God prohibits is a prohibition against coveting. Because covetousness lies at the heart of so much violence that we do one to another.

It's out of jealousy, out of envy that people tear each other apart. I once read an essay on vandalism, saying it was the most vicious form of violation of other people's property. Because what the vandal does is distinguished from the thief.

The thief helps himself to somebody else's property. What the vandal does is he destroys somebody else's property. He walks through a parking lot and he sees expensive cars that he can't afford. And so he takes his key out and destroys the finish of those cars.

He doesn't acquire the automobile for himself. What he has done is simply ruined somebody else's property. What motivates that? It's envy. It's jealousy. And that is not a loving thing to do to another person.

Probably the most poignant story in all of Scripture about the consequences of envy is the story of Joseph in the Old Testament, where because he received this magnificent coat of many colors from his father, the rest of his brothers became green with jealousy, and they turned their hostility against Joseph and sold him into slavery that had him ending up languishing in prison for year after year after year, all as a result of the brother's.

Envy.

And so if we would look at the world today and see how much damage is done to property and to human beings that is motivated by envy, we would see why God includes a prohibition against it in the top ten commandments of Israel, and how it is the antithesis of love.

Because love rejoices in somebody else's prosperity. Love rejoices in somebody else's happiness. If we love people, we are delighted when we see them receive benefits that even we ourselves failed to receive.

And so Paul is telling us what true love looks like. Can you imagine God being envious of anybody or anything? Can you imagine Christ being jealous of anybody? Then he goes on to say, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, and does not behave rudely.

Humility, Courtesy, and Not Seeking the Spotlight

When Jesus spoke to his disciples in Matthew, he gave, we have this record of it in Matthew 23, where Jesus said, the scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses' seat. Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, observe it and do it, but do not according to their works, for they say and do not do.

For they bind heavy burdens hard to bear and lay them on men's shoulders, but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. But all their works that they do, they do to be seen by men.

They make their phylacteries broad and enlarge the borders of their garments. They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, greetings in the marketplace, and to be called by men, Rabbi, Rabbi.

He is describing here the essence of that group of people who were the greatest enemies of Jesus, who were hypocrites. They were people who were puffed up, were told that knowledge puffs up, whereas love builds up.

But the Pharisees sought an ostentatious display of their status, of their wealth, of their position, of their authority. They loved the best seats in the synagogue. They loved all the pomp and circumstance that went when people fussed over them, and were all subject to that kind of enticement.

But that's not love. Love does not seek its own, love does not seek the spotlight all the time, and love does not seek an ostentatious display of itself. It does not parade itself as the way Paul speaks of.

We're sometimes described as being as proud as peacocks, because we see the way the peacock struts and fans its tail feathers with all the magnificent beauty, and I think of myself that what that parade is like, is like a turkey more than like a peacock.

If you've never had the opportunity to see a gobbler strut during the mating season, then you've missed one of the most magnificent sights of nature. I'd probably seen 2 ,000 turkeys in the woods before I ever had the opportunity to see one go into its mating strut, where it puffs itself all up, you know, and the tail feathers come out fanning, and that turkey just walks around like, look at me, you know, like the old saying, I'm the grandest tiger in all the jungle, I'm the grandest bird in all the woods, is what the turkey does, and goes on a parade for the hen.

And in that sense, it's the way we are. We like to be in the parade, and to be all puffed up and say, look at me. Paul says that's not what love is about. Love is not puffed up, does not behave rudely.

Recently at one of our Ligonier conferences, the story was told by Sinclair Ferguson from Scotland of what had happened early on in England when Queen Elizabeth was still a princess, and her sister, Princess Margaret, were invited out to go to a ball when they were just teenagers, and this was before, of course, Princess Elizabeth became the queen, and the queen mother called the girls into her chambers and said to them, now remember girls, when you go out tonight and go to the ball, royal manners, royal manners.

I'm reading a book right now written by Jeremiah Burroughs, the Puritan author, on gospel conversations. Versus his sermons in 1 Philippians 1 that our conversations should be fitting to the gospel, and of course when he uses the term conversation, he's not talking about speaking with people, one another, it's the old Puritan word for conduct.

In other words, the New Testament over and over and over again tells us to have our conduct in such a way that it is fitting to our profession of the gospel. Justice Sinclair Ferguson was talking about when these princesses went to the dance, they were held to a higher standard.

They were to be exemplars of court etiquette. By the way, it's the conjunction of those two words, court etiquette, from which we get the root meaning of the term courtesy. Courtesy means court etiquette, and so the queen mother reminded the daughters, when you go out in public, you represent the crown.

You represent the monarchy, and your manners are to be regal. They are to be the manners of monarchy, royal manners, girls. And we are children of the king of kings, and children of the king of kings are not.

To be rude.

Children of the king of kings are not to be impolite, but we as Christians are called even to a higher ethic than the daughters of the queen of England. We are called to supernatural royal manners, so that the apostle says that love, the love of God, agape, does not behave rudely.

It does not seek its own.

Selfless Love and the Example of Christ

Wow.

When I say that I wonder why people love this text so much, when it is so devastating in its critique of our behavior, I'm usually thinking of this aspect. Love does not seek its own. The hardest thing for any Christian, for any person, is to seek the well-being of somebody else above yourself.

We live together, we have our families, we have a husband and a wife, and the wife wants something, and then I say, well, that's cool that you want that, honey. But I would rather spend the money this way, or I want to do this tonight rather than what you want to do.

That's not being loving. Loving to love does not seek your own, does not have to have its own way all the time. But love is sensitive to the needs and the desires of other people. That's what Jesus does.

You know, take this cup from me, nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done, O Father. The last thing I want to do is to seek my own. I want to do your will, not mine. That kind of transcendent display of love is beyond our comprehension, because we are by nature self-centered and selfish.

We seek our own interests first, rather than the interest of others. And it takes real love to be concerned about other people ahead of your own concerns. And I think that any Christian can think of times in their lives where they have, in fact, put other people ahead of their own interests, and made decisions to help people where they know it would hurt them.

I know I've done that. I know I've done that. And I know that it's not natural. I know we couldn't do that if it weren't for this love that is shed abroad in our hearts. But even this agape love that is shed abroad in our hearts does not instantly push out of our hearts all of the sinful inclinations and sinful desires that are part of our fallen and corrupt nature.

Again, we have to remember that the most base tendency of a human individual is to seek his or her own. And that's what love is given to vanquish. I had a friend who used to play cards with the guys at the golf course after their golf games, and he always was pleasant.

And he enjoyed the camaraderie. He played cards with the guys. Sometimes he won and sometimes he lost. And you never saw any difference in his demeanor when he lost than when he won, whereas some guys when they would lose, they'd throw temper tantrums and take the cards and rip them up and throw them across the room.

I've seen guys grab ashtrays and smash the walls when they were losing. It's unbelievable. Where this guy would remain unflappable. If he lost, it was okay. And I said to him, I said, Bob, you know, it doesn't seem to bother you to lose.

He said, no.

I said, why?

He says, I win by losing.

He said, what do you mean?

He said, well, he said, if I lose, then one of my buddies has won, and so they're enjoying the fun of winning, and I can participate in that. I can enjoy it with them. I'm having a good time. Doesn't matter whether I win or lose.

And he wasn't just blowing smoke. He really believed that. He was there to spend time with his friends, and he didn't care, really, who won and who.

Didn't.

And you see that sometimes among great athletes, where they say, my job is to perform to my best, but if my opponent wins, I'm going to give him my applause, and enjoy and delight in their excitement and fun.

There's a saying in golf, every shot makes somebody happy. That is, if you hit a good shot, you're happy. If you hit a bad shot, your opponent's happy. That's a somewhat cynical view of the matter. And love is to transcend that, as we are to rejoice with each other's prosperity and success.

Patience, Charity, and Rejoicing in the Truth

Love is not provoked. What does that mean? It means love does not have a short fuse. Love is not ill-tempered. It was told to me by some counselor once that everybody has in their personality landmines, and that is, things about which we're particularly sensitive or explosive, you know, where you can see somebody's very calm and easy to get along with, and you're walking around their lives, and then all of a sudden, boom, they go off, and you say, I just stepped on a landmine.

Here, and I didn't know it was there.

Well, some people have personalities and character development in such a way that there are very few minds buried in their field. You can walk through their field for years and years and years and never step on a mine.

There are other people, and you know people, that you need a compass to walk around them. And you walk around them like on eggshells, because everywhere you turn, you're likely to step on a mine, because these people are easily provoked.

They're ill-tempered. And I remember, frankly, before my conversion, I had a really bad temper, was a hothead, and in my senior year in high school, we had ten baseball games during the season. I was thrown out of three of them for arguing with umpires.

The umpires were wrong, but I argued way too vociferously, and I had a seat on the bench, because I lost my temper. I think the greatest change that I saw in my own behavior at my conversion was that.

That's where I felt the greatest amount of conviction of sin, and so much so that I just saw that as the supreme virtue, as never to lose your cool, never to get to blow up and blow your stack. And, of course, my wife knew me before my conversion, and she knew me after my conversion, and we had been married ten years, and one day we were having a disagreement in our kitchen, and I had a glass of water in my hand.

And the disagreement began to be serious, because I would say to her, you know, this is not fair, because there's nobody in this world that can light my fuse like you can. You know all of those points where I'm vulnerable and stuff, and at the same time, there's nobody that I care about more in this world, so that there's nobody that can upset me more than.

You can.

And so we're having this discussion, and finally, I got so mad, I took that glass, and I threw it against the wall, and glass, water, splatter, shatter, everywhere. And Vesta looked at me and started laughing.

She said, ha, ha, ha, she said, I never thought you'd do it. She says, I've been trying for ten years, and I've been pushing you, testing you to see when you blow your stack, and you just did it. And she laughed at me, and I was embarrassed by that, but here I thought that I had completely overcome that, when in fact I hadn't.

But we are not to be easily provoked. I have pet peeves. You have pet peeves. I can't stand, I can't stand dangerous drivers on the highway that seem to drive around with no regard for anybody else's life, and they're flipping in and out, and all that stuff.

And I blow my horn at them, and Vesta says, ha, ha, ha, she said, I'm glad the kids aren't in this car, she said, because the first word they would learn is idiot. So, there's one place where I lose it.

But we're not supposed to be like that, you know, hot-headed, provocative, but again patient with other people. I've got to hurry in order to finish this. True love thinks no evil. It's almost as if we're being admonished to be naive.

What Paul is getting at here is that we are to give other people what is called the judgment of charity. Not that we're supposed to be naive. We know that people really sin. But what we tend to do is that we think that when somebody sins against us, we look at that sin as if it's been motivated by the worst of all possible motivations, like that person stayed up at night thinking of ways that they could injure us, when that is rarely.

The case.

We're rarely the victims of people who have hurt us with malice aforethought. And the judgment of charity casts that wound into the best of all possible ways. Unfortunately, we tend to reserve the judgment of charity for ourselves.

We give ourselves the benefit of every doubt, and we don't give our neighbor the benefit of doubt. But that's what this is about, that it doesn't think evil. Obviously, it's more than not having evil thoughts, but we don't think the worst of everybody around us.

We may be naive, but it is better to err on the side of naivete than on the side of slander. Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth. You know, Paul tells us in Romans 1 that our sin as human beings is not only that we commit sins, but we encourage other people to join us.

And we rejoice when we see sins being committed because it somehow excuses us. True love rejoices in the truth, not in iniquity. And finally, Paul says that love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,.

And endures all things.

Love is the substance that makes it possible for people to persevere, for people to bear, to continue to bear and endure things, to continue in hope, to continue in faith. And he says, love never fails.

Prophecies fail, tongues will cease, knowledge will vanish away, but love does not fail. Now we know in part, then we will know fully even as we are known, and he finishes this by saying, when I was a child, I spoke as a child.

I understood as a child. I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things. Now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face, now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I am also known.

He's calling us to maturity as a Christian. I don't know how many times I hear people saying, God wants me to have a childlike faith. Well, there's a sense in which that's true, but so many people see that as meaning I don't have to grow, I don't have to search the Scriptures, I don't have to seek to become mature in my faith and in my understanding, I can remain a milk drinker forever.

There's a difference between being childlike and childish. Paul said, when I was a child, I behaved like a child, spoke like a child, thought like a child, responded like a child, then I became a man.

When I became a man, it was time to put away childish things. And he's calling us to a mature manifestation of love. Finally, he says, faith, now abide faith, hope, and love. This classic Christian triad of virtues, faith, hope, and love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.

Because this is the gift, this is the fruit that most clearly reveals the character of.

God himself.