Bonus: Father’s Day

Andrew Rappaport's Rapp Report

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Welcome to The Rap Report with your host, Andrew Rappaport, where we provide biblical interpretation and application.

00:42

This is a ministry of striving for eternity and the Christian podcast community. For more content or to request a speaker for your church, go to strivingforeternity .org.

00:53

Well, welcome to The Rap Report. I'm your host, Andrew Rappaport, the Executive Director of Striving for Eternity and the

00:59

Christian Podcast Community on a special Father's Day edition of The Rap Report.

01:05

This is a bonus podcast. What I decided to do some time ago was to interview different people with some stories about their dad.

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Well, to encourage you. And so we're gonna hear a couple of stories today.

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I will introduce different people. We have at least three different stories for you to be able to listen to.

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Some are very touching. Some are a little bit sad. And some hopefully will encourage.

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So I hope that you will enjoy this podcast. Before we start with our first person, let me just give a quick shout out to our sponsor,

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That's 800 -873 -0176. Again, use promo code SFE so that they will continue sponsoring our show.

02:29

With that, let me start with the first that we have. I will admit that this will be the sadder one.

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And well, it's a voice you're going to be familiar with if you've been listening to anything that we produce at Striving for Eternity.

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If you listen to Apologetics Live, it's one of our own speakers. It is Dr. Silvestro.

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Now I did say to each person we wanted to have it between 15 or 20 minutes.

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Well, if you know the history with Dr. Silvestro, well, he went 34 minutes.

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So as usual, you tell him 15 minutes and it's gonna be 30. No, actually what it is is his story was so touching and it actually had more than just his dad, but also he's gonna talk about his wife's dad because something happened with both of their parents, both their fathers in a very short time.

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I know this one is a sadder story, but don't worry. Hopefully you'll be encouraged and hear even more with a really touching story that'll be coming soon.

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But first let us start off with Dr. Anthony Silvestro. Well, if you're familiar at all with Striving for Eternity, you will recognize this next person both in voice and in name.

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It is one of the speakers at Striving for Eternity, Dr. Anthony Silvestro. And this is gonna be some, if you listen to Apologetics Live, you're familiar with his voice and his face.

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If you've had us out at your churches, you'll be familiar with him. But wanted to bring Anthony in to talk about something that happened just this year with his dad even.

04:11

But this, Anthony, welcome to The Wrap Report and on this Father's Day episode, wanna give an opportunity for you to share about your dad.

04:21

Oh, thank you for having me on. Be happy to do so. So, and I got to meet your dad, so it's a little bit different than some of the other stories we'll have on the show.

04:34

But your dad was not very Christian, shall we say, right? He wasn't a

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Christian for most of his life. No, no, in fact,

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I mean, we grew up as Roman Catholics, and I considered ourselves good Roman Catholics because we went to church three times a year, not just Christmas and Easter, but also

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Palm Sunday. And then if you include all the weddings and funerals, you could probably triple that number, so.

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So he wasn't very religious. So tell us about your dad. Tell us what, some things that I know that,

05:10

I happen to know some of the story, but that you could share about your dad. Yeah, absolutely.

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My dad was one of those guys, he was born in Italy and came over as a teenager in 1967 to America with his parents and siblings.

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And his whole goal in coming here was he wanted his kids eventually, before we even had us, to have a better life than him.

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And that was his motivator for himself in work and motivating factor that he tried to use with us.

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And so my dad was one of those guys, he worked his tail off. He actually did really well for somebody who was just a dirt poor

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Italian immigrant coming into this country as a teenager, barely skirting through high school.

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And when my dad had the, he had the dream of all of his kids becoming doctors.

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As it turns out, I'm the only one that kind of made it, becoming a dentist.

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You do have a doctorate though, right? It's a doctorate. Okay, just check it, just check it. I jokingly say this, because he had me pegged to be a medical doctor, my next brother

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Vito to be a dentist, and the youngest brother to be an optometrist. Like that's what his dream was. And as it turned out,

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I'm the one who became the dentist. And my two brothers went different directions, although they're doing well, but they went in completely different fields.

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So that was pretty interesting. But my dad had this thing with him.

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He did well, and yet he wanted his kids to do even better. I mean, that was his whole thing, right? All monetary.

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He wanted his kids to do better financially in life. And I'll never forget, because I wasn't saved at this time, but when

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I graduated dental school, became a dentist, started working, you may have heard the story on a previous podcast, but the doctor

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I was working for up and died eight to nine months into me working for him. He was supposed to work for five more years and have me slowly buy into the practice, and that all evaporated pretty quickly.

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So I bought the practice a lot earlier than I ever anticipated. And what was neat about all this is my dad had this challenge for us growing up, and is that I want to be able to have a day where I know you're so financially well off that you could take me out to dinner, and I can order whatever

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I want, and you don't bat an eye. To which, that was his dream, right?

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Is that he could do that. And obviously everything else would follow. Now, granted, I'm unsaved at this time after I had graduated, and so I took him up on his challenge.

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Own the practice, doing well, and so I tell my dad, I said, let's go out to a steak dinner.

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And so we went to a great restaurant, to which my dad and my mom, who were still married at the time, he ordered the most expensive steak and lobster combo on the menu.

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He ordered a bottle of wine that was multiple hundreds of dollars, and he smiled the entire time doing it.

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He had a ball. Not that he couldn't afford it himself, right? Just, this was his, it was his gauge, right?

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All these years. So needless to say, I got a very expensive bill and I was happy to pay it.

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My dad was, again, a great motivating factor all those years, financially, business growth, that kind of stuff.

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But something changed early on in my dental career within the first three to four years of practice,

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I'd gotten saved. And it changed everything. You know, while I had guns to better my dad in his fortune that he had amassed, that was my aim.

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Suddenly my aim changed. And so God continued to bless the practice that I had and then had married

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Julie and she worked there with me for years. And he blessed the practice for a long time.

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But what ended up happening is God was changing my heart slowly. He was taking away my love of money, love of success, love of all that kind of stuff and changing it into a love for his word and to go out and preach his word, the gospel as well as apologetics.

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And my dad saw that change, didn't really know what to make of it. But I spent years witnessing to him.

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And I remember multiple times telling him the story about the different Egyptian pharaohs.

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And I'd say, you know, dad, you know, those pharaohs, you think about it, these guys prepared for their burial by having in today's value, hundreds of millions of dollars of treasures being buried with them.

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I mean, gold and silver and rubies and all kinds of stuff. They had 50 plus slaves that would be buried with them alive.

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And among other things, why? Because the pharaoh was making sure he was wealthy for his afterlife.

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And yet, what does the Bible say about this? But your treasures and storehouse is rotting, right?

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And that the bottom line is you aren't taking anything from this life onto the next.

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In fact, pharaoh who thought he was gonna live an even richer life in his next life, instead, the moment he died, would face

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God immediately and have to give an account for all of his sins and to which he'd be judged and be put in hell for eternity in the lake of fire.

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And the worst part is all that money that was put into that tomb was all looted within the first year or two after pharaoh died, right?

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I mean, like, so I shared this with him multiple times trying to show him, dad, this is you.

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Like, this is you amassing this wealth and everything when you can't take it with you.

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And he knew he couldn't take the money with him mentally, but yet it didn't translate to how he lived his life, right?

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And so he could never understand this, right?

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He was blinded as an unbeliever. But I witnessed to him for years. And I should also say as a parallel tract, which is interesting, is my wife's father was a devout

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Catholic. And I mentioned this to you a little bit earlier,

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Andrew, but, you know, cause I wanted to mention him as well in this, but her father's devout Catholic, her whole family's devout

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Catholics. There's a whole line of nuns in that family. And there were many times that my dad and or her dad was at my house when you were in town.

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I've witnessed to both of them. Yeah, you've witnessed to them, right? I mean, you've had your shot at them, right? You've witnessed to them multiple times.

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We had Justin Peters over the house for a conference about five years ago now.

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And Justin Peters took a shot at each one of them sitting in my family room. I'm really convinced that you would have all of us over your house, just so different people would witness to your father and father -in -law.

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Honestly, that was actually Julie's plan was to do that. So she made special dinners to make sure they would come over while you guys were at the house.

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I mean, so you've had how many times to witness to each one of them? Justin had a few times,

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Mike Stockwell and Robert Gray each had multiple times. And I'm sure I'm freaking other people, but Chris Sipley was one of them back in the day.

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But there's a number of guys who came through here to witness to both of our fathers over the years. Julie's mom had passed away about a year before we got married.

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My mom had been estranged for years at that point. They got divorced early on in my dental career.

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So this is the story of my father, right? And Julie's father interwoven in all this stuff.

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The thing is I can tell you is my dad never had peace. The peace that a

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Christian has, you know, and unbelievers don't have it. And Christians who don't walk by faith, walk by the power of the spirit, also typically don't have peace either.

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And so, you know, sometimes it can be a little confusing, but this was my dad over the years. And what was interesting about all this stuff is my dad during the

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COVID, and I know some people have heard this part of the story in a previous podcast. My dad, when he got sick with pneumonia,

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I was giving him vitamins. This would have been 2020, November, 2020.

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And I was giving him the vitamins, all COVID response vitamins. And he was actually doing quite well at home for about five days until his mom and his sister scared the daylights out of him, said, your son's killing you.

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You need to go to the hospital. And they were telling him this for days. So my dad finally said, okay, I'm gonna go to the hospital. And he calls me up and he says, he goes,

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I know you don't want me to go, but I'm gonna go to the hospital. Like, you know, they're all scaring me. I wanna go, I'll be out in a few days.

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I go, dad, I don't want you to go. I'm not gonna bring you. If you don't bring me, I'm driving myself. To which

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I said, okay, dad, I'll drive you. I disagree with this. You're doing fine at home, walking around, everything.

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And just like hundreds of thousands of other people, the hospital killed them. You know, between taking away nutrition, no vitamins, certainly no ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine, they throw oxygen remdesivir into you, which has killed numerous people.

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Happened to my dad, right? But I say this story because this is what God used in my dad's life.

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My dad went in as a healthy guy, 67 years old, into the hospital.

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And within a day was at the brink of death. The funny thing is when my dad went in there, and it was still kind of a joking thing, like my dad will be out in a couple of days, and my brothers are texting, we're all in a text chain, and oh, he'll be out.

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Dad, you'll be out soon, and you'll be eating your pasta again, and that kind of stuff. I was still preaching the gospel to my dad.

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I'm like, you know what? God's scaring him. I'm gonna take advantage of this, right? I'm gonna give the gospel to him constantly.

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And so I was sending a number of texts in this text chain to my dad and to my brothers regarding the gospel.

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And about four days in, five days in, something like that, my brothers contacted my mom, again, who has been estranged, divorced from my dad for years this time.

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They're all three. My two brothers and her are ganging up on me to say that we don't want you doing this to your father.

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You're causing extra stress. Let him get healthy first, get out of the hospital, and then you can do whatever you want with him, but don't do it now where it's doing this to him.

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And so I'm like, I took a couple days off, right? I didn't share the gospel at all over text or over phone.

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There were times my dad couldn't even talk because the oxygen was killing his lungs, you know? So I took a few days off.

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And then finally on day eight of his hospitalization, he ended up being there for almost six weeks, by the way.

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On day eight of his hospitalization, I was the point of contact for his work and they were bombarding me almost every day.

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When's he, is he feeling any better, feeling better, feeling better? So finally on day eight, I get another text from his boss to say, you know, because my dad was a tool room manager for Boss Aerospace at the time.

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And so I got a text asking when he's gonna be back, what's going on, should we expect an extended leave?

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So I texted my dad and I said, hey, what do you want me to do with your work? Because I keep getting bombarded.

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Right now the tone seems to have changed in the text. I go, dad, the reality is even if you got out tomorrow, which you're not, you're not gonna go back till January.

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I mean, let's be honest. Like you're gonna need some time to recoup and everything once you get out. And this was my dad's text response back.

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He says, I don't care about work. I've had hours of reflecting on my life and what's important.

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I asked God to forgive my sins and to follow him. He's my savior.

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Now at that point, I mean, you've, you have shared multiple times and so you're hearing this, you're reading this, not quite sure, but then there was a text,

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I believe, that gave you some confidence that this was. Well, here's the, that's right.

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And here's the thing, like what flashed in my mind was, I remember my dad years when we were growing up.

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My dad always had this knowledge of God, believed God was there, but never repents, right? And so he,

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I remember him always saying to people that, you know what, people will believe in God when they're on their deathbed. So you were thinking that's what's happening here.

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That's what's happening, right? I'm really skeptical. I'm like, yeah, yeah, right, I'm sure. But then he goes, then he goes on to tell me that,

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I literally, I texted him next and I said, what does it mean to be forgiven, right?

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Because I want to know, see if he even understands. And he says, pray, pray for his forgiveness. I am learning, he knows what

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I mean in my heart. I cried at the same time. So that was his response to me.

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I'm like - Which sounds good, but at the same time, could be false.

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So then I call him and he could barely talk, right? He could take the oxygen mask off, give a couple of words and put it back on.

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And so I said, what do you mean by your text yesterday, dad? And he goes,

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I recognize everything you've told me all these years was right and I was wrong.

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I've asked Jesus to forgive me and he has. He's my savior. I'm like, wow, okay, cool.

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And he's like, I gotta go, I'm having a hard time. Get off the phone. So, and this is what you have been praying for since you got saved.

19:40

Oh, absolutely. And now it happens. And now it apparently happens, right?

19:46

Well, here's what you were alluding to just a moment ago, Andrew, which was - Was there fruit. Was there fruit, right?

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Was there fruit. And on day 12, so we're talking four days later, he shows fruit to the salvation.

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He sends a text on the text chain with my brothers and I, and it says,

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Domenico, tell your mom I need her to forgive me for how I treated her all those years.

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To this day, I can't figure out why. None was her fault, which actually isn't even true. It was both, but none was her fault.

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I asked God to forgive me also and wash my sin and I will follow him as my savior. Now I'm floored because now, now

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I see a fruit of salvation. And this was one of multiple texts he has sent out in asking for forgiveness.

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But this was the one that just, that convinced me, like he was converted.

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He was converted on his deathbed. And what it took was God literally stripping everything out of his life and putting him in a hospital bed and saving him through that.

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I mean, it really is astounding for me even now as I have tears in my eyes just thinking about what had happened, how

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God had done that for him. I called a couple days later, and Grant, I call every day, right, but some days he just couldn't talk so he would text a small message.

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And a couple days later is the last time I actually talked to him live. He could only say a couple of words, but in the background, he had

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Psalm 23 and a couple of other messages that were playing on this continuous loop in his room.

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Some nurse he asked to, and I never found out who this was, by the way.

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I would have loved to have known, but some nurse set up through a Bluetooth speaker to play

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Psalm 23 and a few other things just in his room on this. So as I'm listening to him,

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I heard it on a loop. It was only five or six minutes. He was listening to this constantly as he was in his room.

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And it was only a day after that that I got the call from the doctor to say that he was tanking, and the only way to try to save him was to knock him out into a medically induced coma and put him on a ventilator.

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To which I was dead set against, but my brothers and I agreed to put him on it and he went on it.

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And literally, my dad lasted on that ventilator for somewhere around three and a half to four weeks before he finally died.

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And so God literally, in the last days of my dad being conscious, changed his heart from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh and saved him.

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As hard as that was for my father to be taken away from me at such a young age and my son, who my dad was his best friend, they hung out a ton together.

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My dad worked so hard growing up in his own businesses that he saw maybe five soccer games of mine in his entire life, right?

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With my son, he watched every single one of them from the time he was young, watched every single baseball game. I mean, my dad was, when

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Anthony was born and a week old, my dad had been over our house every day for many hours and I joked with my dad at the end of the week, said, man, dad, you've spent more time with Anthony than you did my entire childhood, like in this first week of life.

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My dad looked at me sternly, says, look, I know I messed up the first time with you guys. I got a second chance,

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I'm not messing up again. And my dad spent so, so many hours with Anthony up until the point he passed.

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It was really incredible to watch. So, I mean, Anthony was blessed with a wonderful relationship.

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It was just sad it ended as soon as it did. But having said all that,

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I had told many people that I would rather my dad get saved and die and not have the 15 extra years

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I thought I was gonna have with him, or 20, because our family tends to live into the late 80s, versus him living and not being saved and going to health fraternity.

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And that was really the bottom line, you know? And so, I'm forever grateful. On the other side of the fence, though, is

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Julie's father, who, Julie's a few years older than me, and she also was one of the youngest of many, many, many children.

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So, her dad was much older when he had her, and her dad was 97 years old at the time my dad was 67.

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So, I was the firstborn. My dad had me when he was really young. So, her dad was hardcore

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Catholic till the end. We witnessed to him for years, as well as you, Andrew, and Justin, and other guys faithfully witnessing to him.

25:02

While my dad was hospitalized in the hospital, Julie's dad was in home hospice. And you wanna talk about God being long -suffering in 2

25:12

Peter 3 .9? This was God being long -suffering. Julie's dad was given long life, and a lot of her people and her family lived till they're almost 100.

25:27

And Julie's dad was another one. 97 years old, he's in home hospice. They thought he was gonna die in the first couple weeks of it, and here he is five months later.

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By the time my dad passes away, he's still in home hospice doing okay. It was really incredible. But a lot of our focus really was turned towards her dad at this point.

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And her dad, just to get to it, passed away six weeks after my dad did.

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We knew it was coming. When my dad passed away, we saw things really started changing in her dad.

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And so, what we did is we spent a lot of time with her dad witnessing to him. The last month,

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I mean, we were there two, three, sometimes four times a week for an hour or two at a time. Her entire family, because there's six other siblings, were taking turns being there around the clock.

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And so, Julie was there a lot. I was spending a lot of time there as well. Anthony was spending time talking to him.

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I was spending time witnessing to him and just spending time getting stories of the war. He's a World War II vet. Had some great stories as a bomber.

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His life was spared many times during the war that he recounted. He was always thankful to God for that.

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The problem is, it was the God of Catholicism, the false

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God of Catholicism. I spent the last month, well, three weeks or so, of his life spending many, many, many hours there.

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I mean, the last week with her dad in home hospice, I was there 13, 14 hours.

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Two days before he died, I spent, and we knew he was coming, I spent six hours straight with him, witnessing to him and talking over and over again about the authority of God's word versus man's interpretation, because he believed highly in the

27:23

Pope and the Magisterium in their interpretive powers. He believed in their ability to forgive sins on behalf of Christ.

27:32

They believed a lot in, of course, Mary, all the stuff about Mariology that Catholics don't wanna admit to, but it's certainly there.

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I mean, one thing that I really recall is that last six hours stint I had with him to witness to,

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I was telling him how the Catholic Church believes in all this heresy, including giving Mary aspects of deity, to which he said, oh, it's not happening.

27:55

Yeah, it doesn't happen. That's not true. You're just making that up. In the meantime, while I'm witnessing to him, the

28:00

Catholic channel's on in the background, right? So I'm battling with that as well. And wouldn't you know it in God's providence, literally right after I said that and he denied it, the priest on the

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TV says, hail Mary, who's omnipotent in the saving of sinners.

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And I said, Mr. Simonella, did you just hear that? Did you just hear what the priest just said?

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Like, literally, we're just talking about this. He told, he says that Mary is omnipotent.

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She's all powerful in the salvation of sinners. Did you not catch that?

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To which he wouldn't even respond. It's unbelievable. You know, the sad thing to say is that he, as far as we know, didn't repent.

28:49

You know, that was the second last day he was alive. The last day he was alive, he couldn't talk. He was there with his chin down his chest.

28:57

He could hear you, he could somewhat respond, but you could tell the body and the brain were shutting down.

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Like, everything was just shutting down. And sure enough, by the next morning, he had died.

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We had gotten the call about nine in the morning. When the sister that was staying there woke up and went and checked on him.

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And then he had passed away peacefully over the night. While he was not able to respond, and Julie did take full advantage of that, by the way.

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She sat there next to him and continued to whisper in his ear and witness to him and tell him there's still time to repent and put his trust in Jesus to forsake the

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Catholic church and the Pope. Obviously, we have no clue about him.

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Although, you know, obviously we know the last things that he said. So, you know, for us, it was a really interesting time in early 2021, between mid -January when my dad passed to either the end of February, beginning of March when

30:00

Julie's dad passed. You know, my bride did a similar thing when we were sitting at the bedside of her dad, who we think had passed at that point.

30:14

But we weren't really sure, we couldn't tell. And my wife did the same thing, just got really close to him and just, you know, explained the gospel.

30:24

But both sides of your families, both your family and Julie's family, they did not like the fact that you were sharing the gospel with your dads, did they?

30:36

No. You know, my family was, they were kind of indifferent to it until my dad was in the hospital bed and then they weren't happy about it because it was causing them stress.

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In fact, both of my brothers that were devout atheists for years, I asked them to read a copy of my book on the origin of kinds and they read it and they're like, you know what, we've been kind of thinking this already.

31:00

There's no way God can't exist with the way the world was. Which is, I'm like, yeah, that's exactly what

31:05

Romans one would say. But so my brothers have been less hostile over the years of the gospel.

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In Julie's family, she's got six siblings. One is a Christian who, very nice guy.

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He's not as deep in his theology as where he needs to be, but I absolutely believe that he is saved.

31:26

And then she's got four other siblings, one other brother and then three other sisters who are not, they're

31:37

Catholic in name only. One regularly says that she will be happy to party in hell with her friends, drinking and smoking and playing card games.

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And another one says she's Catholic, believes in God, but is really a universalist.

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I mean, why can't homosexuals and why can't Buddhists and why can't whoever else go to heaven? The one sings in the church choir, the

32:05

Catholic church choir. She's a little bit more devout. And the other one is a little bit more of an agnostic Catholic.

32:11

But every time that we had a family get together on Julie's side, her dad and I would somehow get into a conversation about religion and we would trade.

32:22

He never avoided it, actually. I mean, he started it with me a couple of times.

32:27

He was interested in discussing it. He loved, he loved talking about it.

32:33

But the thing is that as, and this is the thing that I think really touching with what happened in your family.

32:43

I mean, it was six weeks having to deal with it back to back. No, it was hard for your son because he was close to both grandfathers.

32:51

Both, yeah. But you guys took the opportunities to witness.

32:57

And though in Julie's dad's case, we don't believe he got saved. I think it can encourage people because with your dad, you guys made many opportunities for them to hear the gospel.

33:12

And I think a lot of people, myself included, I think of my dad and say, like,

33:18

I don't know if he'll ever get saved, right? We try to witness to him. But the years of prayer, the years of witnessing and what you didn't expect would happen, happened.

33:32

Happens, that's right. No, you're absolutely right. And even for the other side of it, right?

33:39

For Julie's dad, imagine my plight in this, right?

33:45

God's sovereign. Why did he choose to save my dad and probably not hers?

33:53

Why? I don't know, right? I have no idea. But you know what we do know is that we were faithful.

34:01

And so Julie has been able to rest easy. I mean, we've had conversations about this and she's been able to rest easy because she's like, we did our job.

34:11

We did what we were called to do. We preached it to my dad. We preached it to my siblings. We did what we were called to do.

34:21

And - The results are not in our hands. Those are in God's hands. But I mean, there's so many people out listening and I'm sure you know this as well as I that there's people who are listening and saying, well, maybe

34:35

I haven't been praying for my dad enough. I maybe haven't been witnessing to my dad enough.

34:42

Maybe this would encourage folks to say, you know what, God can, he could take a very wealthy man that is self -sufficient, which is

34:51

I think the reason why it's so hard for people of wealth to come to Christ is because they're self -sufficient.

34:57

They're not used to depending on anyone but themselves. And he can strip that man of everything so that there's nothing left but Christ and he could see him.

35:09

Yeah, amen to that. That's absolutely right. And on Julie's side, some of the, one of the things that she wrote is, she came home that last night that she knew he was gonna pass away the next day.

35:24

And we were actually doing Apologetics Live. And so I had to come home a little bit early.

35:30

You know, I didn't say anything to him. She talked that whole time while he was out of it. But she says how she came home that night, she waved to me in the door, there's like a glass door here in the office.

35:40

And she said she went straight to bed in tears, praying for mercy that he heard the gospel and repented.

35:48

But then Julie says this, while she was praying that, she also praised

35:54

God for his display of long suffering with her father and his mercy and letting him live 97 years to hear the gospel so many times in the last 13 years of his life that Julie and I had 14 years, 15 years, whatever it's been, we've known each other at that point.

36:12

And that she sang a hymn in tears.

36:19

And the only words that she really recalled was, you know that I am the

36:27

Lord. And she said that she will praise him no matter what.

36:35

And then he died, you know, that evening. So yeah, it's pretty crazy.

36:43

But I guess the point of all this, right, is that we need to preach the gospel to everyone we can, especially our family members.

36:54

That's why God has us in the families he does. Preach it to them and know that we've done our job in the end and that we praise

37:01

God no matter what in this. Yeah, and it's touching to think, one day you'll be in heaven with your dad and it'll be interesting to see the reminiscing then on the other side of heaven.

37:17

And so thanks for coming on. Thanks for sharing this for the special Father's Day edition of The Wrap Report to come in and share about the story of what happened with your dad.

37:27

I hope that it encourages many, maybe praying more for their dad today, be witnessing more to their dad today.

37:36

Take advantage of it while we have time. Amen to that. Thank you, Anthony. You're welcome.

37:43

You know, I knew a lot of the story of, because I was with Anthony talking with him throughout a lot of the events that you just heard about, and we had been praying for that family.

37:56

And losing both their fathers, it can be hard. But as you heard

38:04

Anthony say, the most important thing is he knows where his dad now is gonna be. So with that, let's get on to one of what actually sparked me to do this episode.

38:15

Was someone, a fellow podcaster, Gabe. Now I know her from the

38:21

Red Hot Mindset podcast. She has recently re -branded that, and I don't actually remember the new name of it.

38:29

But I'll give you the links in the show notes from her two podcasts.

38:35

She's gonna tell a story. But you wanna go and listen to her podcast to hear the full story.

38:41

It's really touching. This is a story that, well, some of you, and yes, men,

38:49

I'm speaking to you, you just may need to get a box of tissues for this one.

38:55

So check out this story from Gabe and what she did for her dad on his birthday. All right, well,

39:03

I am here with a fellow podcaster, someone who I have been on her podcast before,

39:09

Gabe Cox, who is from the Red Hot Mindset. Some of you may have remembered that I, some time ago, aired two episodes when

39:17

I was on talking about critical racism theory. Yes, I said that properly, by the way. I know some people think it's critical race theory, but no, it is racism.

39:26

Anyway, we're gonna talk about a very different topic today, a more fun topic for Father's Day.

39:32

So Gabe, welcome to The Wrap Report. Thank you, Andrew. It's so fun to be here with you. Now you and I do share something in common that anyone listen to your episode, we both enjoy running.

39:42

And so it is something that though, we were joking before we started recording you, I let you schedule the time and you scheduled it right in the middle of my runtime.

39:50

So I have to run a shorter run, thanks a lot. I know, I know. And of course it would be me doing that because I would feel the same way.

39:57

I'd be like, I don't get my running. What am I gonna do? Non -runners don't understand the addiction of running, do they?

40:03

No, they just think we're nuts. And the energy that you get from it. I feel like after I run, that's my key time to get things done.

40:13

Like the next few hours is when I get things done. Oh yeah, one person asked me because I run before church.

40:19

Like I try to get a run in before church. And they're like, how can you, like you run before, you gotta go and preach. I'm like, yeah, that's why

40:25

I run. Like, you know, aren't you like sitting and praying? I do that on like Saturday night, but like I need to get the run in so I have the energy.

40:34

But we're gonna talk about some things that in your case, a daughter and father relations, and you had something that you did this past year that was really special for your dad.

40:46

So first, talk about your dad a little bit, his name and your relationship with him.

40:52

And then let's get into what did you do? Sure, sure. So my dad's name is

40:57

Warren, and he turned 82 this last July. My parents had me quite a bit later in life.

41:04

He was at 45 when they had me. So I grew up with older parents, which is totally fine, but now come to this time in my life where I'm reaching 40, they're getting older and health wise, they're just, you know, having health issues and different things.

41:20

And my dad is, but not been feeling his best. And he's actually going through a bout of bladder cancer.

41:26

It's his second bout and this time it's not very good. And so he just doesn't feel very good when he's going through those treatments and whatnot.

41:34

And he and I have always had a really close bond. You know, there are times, you know, in my rebellious high school years that maybe we weren't as close, but I always have seen him as such a father figure.

41:45

I've always looked up to him. He's always been patient with me and kind, and he shares the truth and he shares his face with me.

41:52

He's such an open book and being, and he's willing to, and he's so funny. Cause he shared, you know, he's just, remember that time when

41:58

I was 12 and I was lumberjack and all this stuff and I almost died. And, you know, he just, he'll go on and on about all his stories.

42:04

Or I started wrestling when I was 30, when I went to college and, you know. So he's just so funny.

42:10

And he has that kind of dry, dry humor that wit about him. And it's just the bond that we have is really special.

42:18

And it's that father -daughter bond that, you know, I think all of us kind of strive for. It's one of those things that is special and near and dear to us as women, especially as we grow.

42:28

And then they start loving your own, your children and all of that.

42:33

So that's super fun. Do you have any other brothers and sisters? I do have two older brothers and it's kind of funny cause my oldest is adopted from Korea, which

42:45

I would never, I'm like, he's just my brother. He's a blood brother to me, you know? And, but right after they adopted him, they found out they were, my mom was six months pregnant with my other brother.

42:54

That happens so often. It does, they thought it was a tumor. Cause she was older and they weren't expecting, they thought they couldn't have kids cause it took 18 years to have their first kid.

43:06

And then, so I call myself the double mistake cause then they found out they were pregnant. They were like, we weren't expecting another one.

43:12

And then they wanted another boy. I'm like, you have enough boys. You do not need one, you need a girl. So it's just funny, but yeah, so I have two older brothers.

43:19

So I think that's another thing that probably makes my relationship with my dad so special is that I am the only girl and I was, they would call me a blessing or, you know, a miracle baby, right?

43:28

But so I think that that's kind of a special bond there. I think your husband would call you a miracle as well.

43:34

Just, you know, he probably feels that way too. So, so you, you had something that you and your dad growing up did together.

43:41

What was that? We watched Wheel of Fortune and most of you probably know what

43:49

Wheel of Fortune is, but if you don't, it's a game show. It's a puzzle game show where you solve word puzzles.

43:54

And it was just, I think he's been watching it longer than I was even born. I just say, I don't know how long

44:00

I've been watching it, but probably since I was born. Pat and Vanna became the hosts of the show around 1983 when

44:06

I was born. And so I just grew up with it and we'd watch it every night that we were here and we would play and do fun things.

44:13

Like whoever solved the puzzle first got the money that that person got. And we'd see who got the most money by the end. So it's just, and it was a great, it's a great hoot.

44:20

So we grew up doing that. And then I've also kept that tradition alive and my boys and I watch it every night.

44:27

They might not get into it as much as I do, but I always thought they'll solve a puzzle before me and they'll be all proud.

44:33

But it's just kind of a legacy that we can just kind of share it's a bond that we can share together.

44:39

So it's something that you and your dad did together, but then you decided to go out and visit him and you had a little bit of a surprise for him.

44:47

What was that? Yeah, I did. So my boys have bugged me about Wheel of Fortune forever since,

44:54

I mean, I'm really good at it on the couch. And I know a lot of you can relate because we're really good at game shows when we're sitting there not live.

45:02

And so they're like, you totally need to go on that show, mom, you need to apply. And this summer I kind of thought, well, maybe

45:08

I will, maybe I'll just see what it's all about. And it's a long application you have to fill out. And then they will, if they want to, they'll extend a tryout for you.

45:18

And this time it was virtual. So it's kind of nice that you can do it from the comfort of your own home. And then they put you in a contestant bank and I ended up there.

45:26

I did the tryout and they accepted me in the contestant bank. And they said you could be in the contestant bank up to two years. So I wasn't expecting a call anytime soon, but within the next week they gave me my film date, which was two weeks away.

45:37

So I had to get to LA in two weeks. And so when I found that out, I was just like, oh my goodness, I'm gonna be on Wheel of Fortune.

45:43

What a dream, right? And honestly, I've always wanted to do that, but I always thought it would be my dad with me.

45:49

Like I always wanted to do the father -daughter because we would rock it. Now he can't travel, so it wouldn't be possible.

45:56

And he can't hear very well, so it wouldn't be very easy for him to self -puzzle and be out there live, but it was kind of a dream of mine.

46:03

So when I found out I was gonna be a contestant, I was like, I need to make this special. And I dedicated it to my dad and decided, because he turned 82 in July, so I decided this could be an extended birthday, we'll surprise him.

46:16

And so I was just in Minnesota, I went back to Minnesota in November when it aired.

46:22

So it was a few months of keeping the secret and watch the show with him without even knowing I was going to be on.

46:28

So it's a fun surprise. He didn't know you were even a contestant. He had no clue.

46:33

He had no clue. Everyone else was in on it. So I was able to tell people that I was a contestant.

46:39

I was able to say my air date. I wasn't able to say how I did. Like I had to keep everything under wraps for three months, which

46:45

I can't, we can keep secrets for other people, but for myself, oh my goodness, I can't keep secrets worth anything.

46:51

So that was really hard, but he didn't know. I think it probably helped that he can't hear very well. Cause I feel like I slipped up a couple of times while we were on FaceTime or talking.

46:59

Cause I'm in Colorado, they're in Minnesota. And my mom's like, your dad is sitting right here. And I was like, oh no.

47:05

But he never caught on, he didn't have a clue. So you decided you were gonna give him a surprise visit.

47:12

What happened? Well, what was funny is that we surprised him even coming.

47:18

He had no idea I was coming at all. So we filmed that part too. And he kind of looked at me and then he went back to what he was doing and we're like, what?

47:28

I mean, when he realized I was there, he was super excited. But later on he goes, I thought you were a mirage because he did not expect me to be there.

47:36

And that's just my dad. He's just a hoot. And he's kind of getting to that point.

47:41

He might be starting to forget things and his memory is kind of going a little bit, I think.

47:47

And so the surprise itself was interesting because when we sat down to watch

47:53

TV, I had the same outfit on as I had on the show. I had my hair the same way. Like I looked the exact same and we were sitting there and he did not get it.

48:03

He was, he had no, the whole show. He did not realize it was me. He even said, what are you laughing about?

48:10

And we're all just laughing. I'm pointing at the TV. He goes, oh yeah, that Gabe. So he saw that it was my, my name was

48:17

Gabe on there but he just couldn't put two and two together. Granted, he thought this in all the years of him watching it he thought that this was live.

48:26

So he didn't know how it could have been me. In both places. So that's why he didn't even recognize you. Like he said, he looked like you, has the same name and he didn't.

48:34

Cause you even in that show, you even, you dedicated it to him and gave his name. So I was like, how could he not get that here, someone named

48:41

Gabe that looks just like his daughter mentioning my dad, more like, how do you miss all those clothes?

48:48

But now that explains it. Cause he thought it was live. He did. Cause I thought he was pranking us.

48:53

I'm like, he knows, I bet he knew before him. I bet the surprise was out and he's pranking us and acting like he has no idea, right?

49:00

So the whole show, we're kind of going, does he get it? Does he know? I just don't understand. And he'd even say, cause

49:06

Pat would say stuff about him. He would say, well, Warren, thanks for watching the show for so long, you know? And he goes, is he talking to me?

49:13

And we're all like, yes, he's talking to me. Oh, he's talking to me. He didn't get it. And it was so fun because I didn't know how

49:21

Pat would take the story and my surprise, but he talked about it throughout the whole episode, which made it even better and more priceless than anything.

49:30

So yeah, we had to like explain it to my dad after the show. And then he goes, can we watch it again?

49:36

Cause I got to watch that again. But now, I mean, I'm back in Minnesota, it's been months, you know, but right afterward, he just got really into it.

49:46

We bought him some shirts that said like my daughter with a picture of me on wheel. And my daughter met Pat and Vanna cause that's just who he is.

49:52

He loves that. He's so proud. He's a proud daddy. He's a proud grandparent, you know? And he just had a hoot talking to everybody about it.

50:00

Cause everybody who watched, they were just so excited about it. And he's just telling stories and now he goes, I watched it again and I just don't know how

50:07

I didn't know it was you. And now he's going on and on about how he couldn't figure out why he didn't know it was me. Well, if he thought it was live, that would explain it.

50:15

Cause like when you told me, I was like, how does he not know? Cause I mean, granted you told me you were on, I looked and we've never met in person, but I saw you like, yeah, that's

50:22

Gabe. But that's really funny that he thought that it was live all these years.

50:29

And I guess, you know, it might've been years ago. It may have been a live show. And then they went to record it and he just never knew.

50:36

That could be. But yeah, it did. So when he figured out what you had done for him, what was his reaction like?

50:45

He was so funny. Cause he's like, I didn't know what to think. Cause that's just him.

50:51

He just yells for little things, but then he was so excited. He just, I think it was so precious to him that he has this memory that I would go do something like that.

51:02

Cause even the day before when we were watching Wheel of Fortune, cause I came home and we watched Wheel of Fortune a couple of days like normal before my show aired.

51:09

And he right in the middle of the show was goes, I would never go on Wheel of Fortune. It's too far to travel. And we just cracked up.

51:16

So he's just going, how did you do that? How did you get on? How did you keep it such a secret?

51:22

And he's just, you know, you can tell inside, he's just a proud daddy. And just that somebody would go to those extremes to do something like that and dedicate it to him.

51:34

I think that was pretty special for him. Yeah. And I think as a father, those things are,

51:39

I mean, you know, it's really neat to be able to have that kind of relationship with a child, have a child, you know, as parents, as you know, you're a parent, we do so much for our children.

51:51

And when they become adults and then they start returning that favor, when they start doing things like that for you and you, you know, for some dads, they don't allow that, right?

52:03

But, you know, so it's just the pride of, no, I'm the dad, I take care of. But when you have a child that does something like that, it just seems to be so much more, means so much more.

52:15

And I think that it really helps with the relationship, that, you know, the memories that you, that in your case, you and your dad will have, like, you know, my guess is every time now that he'll watch

52:26

Wheel of Fortune from here on, he's gonna think about the time that his own daughter was on there and dedicated it to him, you know?

52:36

And that makes it really special. It is, it is. And I think it partly, in his memory, it's like,

52:42

I did something right, right? He, I raised this daughter, not that I'm not perfect by any means, but you know, it's just,

52:48

I raised this daughter and she has upheld the values that we instilled in her. And she has this faith and she does these things for other people or whatever it is.

52:58

You know, I think that he'll have that also, like, I did something right. Yeah. You know?

53:04

And that's special. So, so real quick to close out, Red Hot Mindset with Gabe Cox.

53:11

Let folks know where they can find that and a little bit about your podcast. Sure, it's easy peasy.

53:17

Easiest way is to go on the website, redhotmindset .com or on any

53:22

Facebook or Instagram is this other place that you can connect with me. But Red Hot Mindset is all about helping

53:28

Christian women specifically, cause that's who I am and who I talk to, and use their passions to enhance their productivity and spiritual growth so that they can go after their

53:37

God -given goals. And so it's a podcast I have been on. I've checked it out.

53:43

You and I worked together before you even started your podcast. And so it's great having you on.

53:48

This is such a touching story. And I hope that those who are listening that, you know, it touches you to see the relationships between children and their dads on Father's Day, especially, but any time of the year.

54:02

And just maybe this encourages you to do something you never thought of doing before to make your dad feel special.

54:10

And so I hope you enjoyed it. Well, we're up to the third person and maybe the last.

54:21

Well, several stories that you'll hear. And this one, well, this one is yours truly.

54:28

I don't have the touching stories as you heard before, but a lot of things

54:33

I learned from my dad. And so I hope that this encourages you to think about Father's Day and what it means to be a father and the impact that a father can have on the next generation and the generation after and the generation after.

54:56

A father can have that kind of impact. So maybe this will encourage you with that.

55:04

Now it's my turn to talk about my dad. I don't have some great story where I've gone on Wheel of Fortune or had some remarkable event that someone had been praying for for years like Anthony, but maybe a couple of short stories and some things to learn.

55:32

I know that when my mother died, I was young. I was nine years old and I was not an easy child for my dad.

55:41

I actually had a lot of problems, actually up until I became a Christian. I was having to see psychiatrists and all.

55:49

I just didn't deal with my mother's death well. My father, for that one year before he remarried my mom, who we just recently lost, unfortunately, but that first year was really hard.

56:05

He had to be father. He had to be there working.

56:10

He had to take care of us. And my sister and I didn't make it easy. Well, let's just be more specific.

56:17

I didn't make it easy. My sister and I fought all the time. And I look back at those times and just realize that even as difficult as it was for him, as kids, at least for me, we never saw it.

56:37

He always put on for what was best for us as kids.

56:44

We never saw the pain and the hardship that he went through. And it really developed the relationship we'd end up having.

56:56

I remember when I was younger, before I got married, I decided I'd come down and surprise him.

57:03

I didn't tell him I was coming down. He was out and he was on a boat.

57:09

And I went to the dock and he was bringing the boat in.

57:16

And at the time I had a beard. He had never seen me with my beard. And I would grow a beard back then for part of the year and then shave it.

57:25

And he had never seen it. And there I am standing on the dock where he's expecting to dock the boat.

57:33

And let me explain. He was an excellent captain. He once lost a rudder just as he was trying to dock the boat and still had control of it.

57:43

Excellent captain, but he almost ran into the dock because he thought he saw a ghost.

57:48

He saw me, recognized me, realized who I sort of looked like but didn't quite know. And we talked about that.

57:56

It was really a fun trip that I came down and stayed with him and it was unexpected. And I remember he actually had to take some people out to dinner.

58:05

He was taking people out to dinner from business partners of his and it was their business partners. So it was someone he didn't even know.

58:12

But it turned out that I think they owned, if I remember correctly, they owned a store that my grandmother used to shop in, which is just crazy to think about.

58:22

One memory though that I do have of my dad was when my wife, just after we got married, we flew down to Florida to tell my parents that they were grandparents.

58:37

We were the first ones to have children in my family. I have four other siblings.

58:43

I was the second to get married but the first to have children. And we really wanted to make it special but unfortunately my wife lost our child while down there.

58:54

And we went to the hospital because they discovered that even though she lost the child, they still had to clean things up so there wouldn't be infections and things and she had to go in for surgery.

59:05

And my wife had never been in a hospital before. And we were newlyweds.

59:10

We weren't even married. We were married a few months. And when she wanted to talk to her mom, she was holding herself together until she talked to her mom and she broke down and started crying.

59:26

And then I kind of lost it and I had to let them take her into surgery.

59:32

And for a couple of hours, my dad and I sat in the waiting room. I have never felt more helpless than at that time.

59:43

I could do nothing for my bride. I was just praying for her. And the thing was,

59:52

I know she was in God's hands but for Father's Day, the thing that I, the reason this becomes the story to tell is at a time where I felt hopeless.

01:00:08

My father was there as a rock and a foundation for me. He was there with me.

01:00:14

Even when he didn't even need to say things but he did talk to me, reassure me, comfort me.

01:00:23

And it just ended up helping me in a time that I felt like there was no one that would have been able to help.

01:00:32

And just having him there with me really helped me think that's what fatherhood is.

01:00:39

That's what fathers do. I learned a lot of lessons from my dad.

01:00:44

I would say that my work ethic came from my dad. He worked a lot and had a strong work ethic.

01:00:55

And he had a family business, a dry cleaning store that my grandfather, and actually

01:01:02

I guess his brothers actually started it. And then he got involved and took it over and then my father took it over.

01:01:08

I actually had never thought of anything like that or any job that I would have. I always assumed and always planned that I would work with him after college and eventually that would be mine.

01:01:19

I knew my brothers weren't interested in it. That was always my dream, but he ended up having some health issues and had to move to Florida and had to sell the business before I ever got a chance.

01:01:33

But his work ethic that he taught me when I worked with him really stuck with me.

01:01:40

People who know me and several of you in my audience, you know how busy

01:01:46

I am. You know how much I do. It's what a lot of people seem to notice. Why wouldn't be that person developing all the things

01:01:55

I developed for you guys as an audience, doing all the books and podcasts and articles and preaching and teaching.

01:02:02

I wouldn't have done all that. I wouldn't have the work ethic if it wasn't for my dad.

01:02:09

Another thing that he taught me a lot was the meaning of family. Family sticks together.

01:02:16

It was one of the things that, having lost my mother early on, I really understood.

01:02:23

And my dad, when my dad remarried, I got a new brother and sister because my stepmother had two children and my dad knew to make that one family.

01:02:38

You know, I never considered my stepbrother and stepsister as stepbrother and stepsister.

01:02:44

They're my brother and my sister. I never considered my stepmother as anything other than my mother because my dad drilled into us the importance of family, that family sticks together.

01:02:57

Now, I will say one thing I didn't learn from my dad is how to cook. I shared about the time, the year that my, after my mother died, my dad had to care for us, but cooking was not his specialty.

01:03:10

So he learned to take us out for dinner. There was one thing I didn't learn from him.

01:03:15

I learned how to cook, but I can't say that I learned that from him. I learned that from my mom afterwards.

01:03:24

But, you know, one of the things, one lesson

01:03:29

I learned that really stuck with me and drives me a lot is that my dad taught me never to complain about something that you can't change.

01:03:44

It was really an important lesson for me, something that really stuck with me all my life.

01:03:50

He would be a person who if, he wouldn't get involved in something unless he really thought he could add to it and add something to this.

01:03:59

And that was the type of person he is. He would not complain about things unless, of course, he had a way to fix it.

01:04:09

And he would, if he decided he was gonna fix something, he was all in and he was gonna make sure it got fixed.

01:04:16

Now, let me give you one example of that with my dad. And it's a very special one. It's something that I'm really proud to be my dad's son when

01:04:28

I think about this. You know, my dad, he owns some property in an area in Florida.

01:04:35

And they wanted to do things to beautify the area and to help all the businesses.

01:04:42

And really, that comes on the heels of what the town could do, and you gotta get money and things like that.

01:04:51

And so what he did was he talked to all the other business owners and created a business improvement district, something that really hadn't been done.

01:05:02

And what he ended up doing was doing something that had never been done before in that area so that he can do something to solve a problem he saw.

01:05:15

And for many years, he was honored by the township. I walk around that area, it's still, it's kind of neat because there's all these statues and things that has his name on it because he was the chairman of this district.

01:05:32

But it just shows that I know, when I walk through town with my children, or even maybe one day with my grandchildren, they look and they're like, oh, that's my grandpa.

01:05:47

You know, that's my pappy, that's what they call him. And so I just look at that.

01:05:55

And I think this is a lasting legacy of his work ethic, a lasting legacy to the fact that he would never complain about something that he couldn't fix, even if it took him 20 years to fix.

01:06:10

He did something, got him recognition, and town really appreciates it.

01:06:17

And it's just neat that I could walk around there and go, that's my dad, he did that.

01:06:26

It's the thing I always want to have for my son is that maybe someday he would look at things I do and say, yeah, that's my dad,

01:06:32

I'm proud to be his son. But I am proud to be my dad's son.

01:06:38

We don't always see eye to eye on a lot of things, Christianity being one of them.

01:06:45

But even in all of that, even in all the hardships he and I had, I still love him and I encourage you, no matter what difficulties you have with your dad or dad you have with your children, look to get past that for the long lasting legacy that you guys could have together.

01:07:04

So I guess I don't have the one story that was as good as some of the others, but this is my story of my dad.

01:07:13

Maybe a couple of shorter stories. Maybe it'll encourage you to consider, think of how your dad has impacted you.

01:07:25

Or maybe you're a dad, maybe you're a young dad, you're a dad with young children. Maybe it'll help you to consider, what do you want your kids to say when they're adults?

01:07:39

I hope you have a happy Father's Day. The Striving for Eternity Ministry.

01:07:46

For more content or to request a speaker or seminar to your church, go to strivingforeternity .org.

01:07:52

Okay, round two. Name something that's not boring. Laundry? Ooh, a book club.

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