WWUTT 1338 Love With Brotherly Affection (Romans 12:10)

Romans 12:9-10 and the Call to Genuine Love in the Church

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. These are not standalone commands. We do this in light of Christ when we understand the text.

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Here once again is Pastor Gabe.

Thank you, Becky. We're back to our study in Romans 12. If you wanna open up your Bible and join with me there, I'm gonna pick up reading in verse nine and we'll go through verse 13. Let love be genuine.

Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal. Be fervent in spirit. Serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope.

Be patient in tribulation. Be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Over the last couple of days, we looked at verse nine. Let love be genuine. We focused on Monday and then yesterday.

Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good. I gave a number of references to understand abhorring what is evil, holding fast to that which is good. One of those references I did not give was out of Galatians chapter five.

So let me read this here. We'll go on to verse 10. Galatians five, starting in verse 16. But I say, walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the spirit and the desires of the spirit are against the flesh.

For these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident. Sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these.

I warn you as I warned you before that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Against such things, there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and its desires. If we live by the spirit, let us also walk by the spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

So there's a pretty good list that we can point right to and find that which is evil and that which is good. Those things that fit under the category of the desires of the flesh, that's what we should abhor.

That's what we should want to have nothing to do with. We don't want it in our members, in our bodies, in our minds, desiring those things instead of desiring Christ. Rather, we should want the things that are of the spirit, the fruit of the spirit.

And not only wanting this for ourselves, we should desire this for our church. Because once again, Paul is talking to a church body. This is not a me and my Bible sort of a Christianity that we're reading here in Romans 12.

It's just you on your own slogging out your own faith. That's not what this is. This is addressing a church. And so the whole church together must be genuine in love. And by the way, you cannot be genuine in love unless you're meeting together.

You cannot be genuine in love as long as I'm treating the cashier at Walmart nice, okay? Yeah, there's my genuine love that I've got going on there. No, it is actively looking for ways that you can show love and kindness and charity to people.

And especially of the household of faith. Because as we have it said here in verse 13, Romans 12, 13, contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. This is where we begin our growing in love and loving one another genuinely.

We do this in the body of Christ with one another. Abhorring what is evil, holding fast to what is good. Now, as I said, this isn't just to you. It is also as it pertains to the entire body, but that doesn't mean that you sit there in church and look at everybody going, that person's doing evil, that person's doing evil, kind of like them, they're doing well, they're doing well over there.

That's not what we're talking about here. We should want that none of these evil sinful practices would be in our church. That as a church, we would tolerate such a thing. And if somebody is behaving in such a way that looks more like the passions of the flesh rather than the fruit of the spirit, they must be confronted, disciplined if necessary.

And if they refuse to repent, then part of that church discipline means they get excommunicated. They are voted out of the church. Paul is very strict about this, more so than any other letter that we have in the New Testament.

If you just go to 1 Corinthians 5 and read what he says there about those who are living in the passions of their flesh and yet bear the name of brother, but will not repent of their sins. To the Thessalonians in 2 Thessalonians 3 says laziness.

If a person will not do their work, they don't get to eat and you're not to associate with such a one. They would likewise be removed from the church until they can repent. And then by the grace of God restored back to the body and we rejoice together in the forgiveness of our God.

More often than not though, when a person has chosen to go that way in the passions of their flesh, they will get consumed by that, removed from the church and they may never return. But we must, as a church, agree that we abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good.

As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 5, a little leaven leavens the whole lump. So we cannot allow these evil things to exist within our body and thus affect the rest of the membership. Causing this sin and false teaching and things of that nature to spread like gangrene.

As Paul puts it with Timothy, that would actually cause parts of the body to rot and to fall off. And so we must, as a church together, be genuine in love, abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good.

Brotherly Affection, Church Discipline, and Devotion to the Body

And we continue in the instruction to love when we get to verse 10, love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. And like I said with verse nine, these are not standalone commands.

We do this in light of Christ. Let love be genuine because Christ was genuine toward us. His love is the most genuine love. Abhor what is evil, hold fast to what is good because Christ is the ultimate good.

Love one another with brotherly affection because Christ loved us this way. Outdo one another in showing honor because Jesus showed honor to us and treated us with dignity. And so we must do so with one another.

Let's come back to the first part of this verse 10, love one another with brotherly affection. Another way that we understand this is being devoted to one another. So that's gonna be the difference between the statement in verse nine and the statement in verse 10.

In verse nine, we're talking about loving genuinely and without hypocrisy. It's from the heart. It's not just something that we do on the outside, but on the inside, we feel a different way. Or we don't just love others and show charity to be recognized by other people.

We genuinely love others from the heart, considering their needs ahead of our own as we looked at some other scriptures related to that. That's verse nine. So what's the difference between let love be genuine and love one another with brotherly affection?

We're talking more in verse 10 about devotion. You are committed to your family, right? Those that you are related to, your natural relatives. There is a fraternal bond there that exists between you and those who share the same parents, share the same blood, the same kin.

And there needs to be that kind of a unity, of an understanding of that unity and bonding between brothers and sisters in the Lord. So there is a devotion there. In the sense that even when, we talked about church discipline a moment ago, even when a person is going astray, they're starting to step off the path of righteousness.

We don't write that person off. That would be totally ungracious. To see a person starting to stumble in their sin, it even becomes habit. It looks like they're starting to live in that sin now. They're unrepentant.

We don't just look at that person and go, well, not a brother or sister anymore. Because as Paul puts it with the Thessalonians in 2 Thessalonians 3, he says, do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother.

And that's the way we need to be. Even through the entire church disciplinary process, if it comes down to excommunication, it's removing that person from the body that they may know this cannot have any fellowship with Christ and his bride.

And hopefully it's in realizing, having been separated from Christ's church, the severity and the gravity of what they've done so that they will repent and come back to the body and we will welcome them in and rejoice and the grace of God will be displayed among us.

But if you were to treat that person as an enemy of the church, then there's really not any hope for them, at least from their eyes, to feel like that they can repent and come back to the church because I'm an enemy of the church.

I'm not gonna be welcomed back here. They're gonna brand me a heretic and kick me out. If by being excommunicated, they have learned the gravity of what it is that they've said or taught or done, their actions, any of those things, and they repent, they actually demonstrate that they are truly a child of God.

The Holy Spirit has convicted their heart of the evil that they have done. And I know I need to repent of this. I have friends who have been disciplined by the church and repented and came back. As a pastor, having had to do that, I've not witnessed that, but I know people who have gone through that.

Either pastors who have had to do the discipline and then the person repented and came back, or I've had friends that have been disciplined and they realized, ah, I was wrong. I was evil. And by the grace of God, I didn't die in the midst of that sin, but realized the wickedness that I was doing and repented and came back.

So there must be a devotion and a dedication to one another in that sense as well, that even if we have to go through a disciplinary process, we're doing this for their good. We do it for God's glory, for the benefit of the church, but that person's also being disciplined for their good, that they may realize their sin and repent and come back.

So we have this devotion to one another. This devotion also needs to be understood in a commitment to a church. We are not joining a social club when you join a church. And when we have a light view of church membership, that's basically the way that we treat the church.

We have an attitude about the church like it's our high school girlfriend rather than the bride of Christ. If the church is the bride to whom Christ is devoted, then we need to be that devoted to the church as well.

Now, I want to be careful as I say that, because that doesn't mean if you leave your church, it's the equivalent of divorcing your church. I pastored in a church for 10 years. That was very transient.

We had a lot of military influence in the community in which that church was. You've heard me talk about this before. And so we saw a lot of friends come and go because the military is moving them to and fro.

And it also kind of creates this sense in the community that this really isn't a permanent stay. There was a lot of people that were like that would move to Junction City or any of the surrounding communities.

And they never really would have this thing in their mind of this is my permanent place of residence. It always was kind of like in a transition. I'm just stopping here for a few years and then I'm going to go on to another place.

That was kind of the attitude of just about most of the town, 60 to 80 of the town or something like that, would think that way about Junction City. So it was difficult to get people to stay around.

And of course, as you know our story, having just moved to Texas, we were not there permanently either. Moving on into some sort of a situation like that does not mean that you've abandoned your church.

But there are situations where people leave over completely ridiculous things. And when they start dividing over stuff that's so petty and they can't get over it and they just end up taking their ball and going home, what they probably demonstrate there is that they don't actually have that brotherly love for the church, that devotion to the church that they need to have.

They're looking for a church that makes them feel good rather than understanding their role that they're supposed to play in service to the church. Now, in one sense, I'm glad when a person who behaves that way leaves.

There is some sense of relief when they go out the door because I would rather they go than stick around and behave like that and cause all kinds of division. But what I would rather have happen is that person repent and exercise some grace.

Whoever's right and whoever's wrong in this situation, just be gracious and continue in pursuit of Christ. If we're looking to Christ and we're desiring to honor him, then we can love the difficult things that make it hard for us to love our brother and sister over because believe me, folks, they're loving you for the difficult things that in the areas where you make it hard to love you.

If you find it hard to love people, well, guess what? You're one of those people who's difficult to love. Love difficult people because you're one of them. That's an important lesson of grace, I think that we all need to have.

So we have this devotion to each other. Again, not treating the church as a high school girlfriend. We understand that the church is the bride of Christ. Doesn't mean that it's wrong to leave your church if it comes to that.

Maybe your church really does change so much that they've now left the soundness of the gospel. They have a completely weird ecclesiology now. Maybe the pastor isn't teaching expositionally anymore. Maybe they're starting to welcome some dark doctrines and that progression just keeps getting worse.

There may come a point where you're gonna have to realize, I cannot be with this body anymore because I don't see that this body is still with Christ. Or even on secondary doctrines, there may be some sort of a transition that happens in the church that you know on secondary convictions that you can't remain with them.

Doesn't mean that they aren't Christians anymore. It just means that you cannot continue to worship in the manner in which you believe the Bible says to worship. For example, these are the things that divide Baptists and Presbyterians.

We have different views of covenant or how that covenant should be exercised. Presbyterians believe that their babies need to be baptized and Baptists believe, no, you get baptized when you're able to make that confession of faith.

It doesn't mean that one says the other is not a Christian, but we have different convictions in ecclesiology and worship. And so it's enough, those convictions are enough that we worship in different bodies.

So maybe it would be that sort of a thing. Maybe the church goes in a certain direction with secondary issues that causes you to maybe think that I can't be a part of this anymore and worship in the same way that my brothers and sisters here are worshiping.

But when you leave, you must still leave with brotherly affection. Not writing somebody off over secondary or tertiary issues saying, well, they're not Christians anymore. So I can't be with them anymore.

If it's not true that they aren't believers anymore. So you're anathematizing them when they have not actually committed some kind of a damnable heresy, right? If that's what you're doing, then you're actually demonstrating that you're the divisive one, not them.

You're the one that doesn't have the brotherly affection rather than the church that you are leaving. So there needs to be enough devotion there to one another that grace can be exercised despite our secondary and tertiary disagreements.

But overall, coming back to understanding this again, love one another with brotherly affection. There must be a commitment and a dedication to one another. And this is the foundation of church membership.

I'm not gonna go into a lesson on church membership here, but I get these emails every once in a while. Why is church membership even important? Why do I need to attend a church where I become a member?

Why does my church need to impose upon people that come to us that they need to pledge membership? And this understanding of a devotion to the body, of a brotherly affection, a commitment, a covenant relationship, these things are foundational to an understanding of church membership.

Outdoing One Another in Showing Honor

So we have love one another with brotherly affection. The next statement in verse 10 is outdo one another in showing honor. And this is just furthering the instructions on how we show love to each other.

The principle here would be that we're leading by example. We are not waiting for somebody else to step up in love, but we're just loving. I'm not waiting for you to love me, I'm gonna love you. So I'm leading by example.

And we're also loving each other in such a way that we're not expecting anything in return. Outdoing one another with showing honor, you might think of it this way. I'm gonna love you so much, you can't pay me back for that.

And I'm not expecting you to. Think of it in that sense. But you're not doing it competitively, right? Just I dare you to try to love me better than I've loved you. That's not what we're talking about when we say outdo one another in showing honor.

It's not a competition. And I find it necessary to have to say that because I've heard this verse interpreted that way. Like if a church is doing some sort of a charity drive, boom, you give all kinds of everything to this charity and you dare somebody else to match the giving that you've just done.

And so that motivates the rest of the church to give that much. And we're just giving and giving and giving and we're outdoing one another in showing honor. I don't think that's the way you go with that because then that becomes giving to be seen by others.

And as I read earlier this week from Matthew chapter six, that's not how we are to behave when it comes to our giving and our charity and our showing love to each other. Outdoing one another with, I'm sorry, let me say that again.

Outdoing one another in showing honor simply means that we're not expecting anything in return for that. I am going to love you and I do so to the glory of God. I'm not expecting anything from you. My love is genuine.

I'm not keeping a tally. I'm not expecting recognition, just love. It's interesting though that it says here, outdo one another in showing honor. It doesn't say outdo one another in showing love. So what do we mean by showing honor?

It means that you esteem others greatly. And so just as we would have in Philippians chapter two, consider other's needs ahead of your own. That's esteem. You're esteeming other's needs more so than what you would want for you.

Loving your neighbor as you would love yourself. Even more than this, you are willing to lay down your life for your brothers and sisters in the faith because that is what Christ has done for us. He laid down his life for us.

He has given us worth that is incomparable. Like we would never be able to place a value on a human being that God has placed on a person who has received the righteousness of Christ. Remember back in Romans chapter three, we read that we had all become worthless.

In our sin and our rebellion against God, we became worthless. There is no one who does good, not even one person, but it's in Christ Jesus that we are given worth. And we are received by God, adopted as sons and daughters.

And he loves us with the same love and affection that he loves his own son. Everything that Jesus gets, we get. We become fellow heirs of the kingdom. So everything that the father gives to the oldest brother, all of us who are likewise siblings in this faith, we are fellow heirs with Christ of his eternal glorious kingdom.

This is the honor that God has showed to us. So how much more should you honor one another knowing the brothers and sisters in Christ that you are with in church, these are princes and princesses in the kingdom of God.

When you see them as God now sees them renewed in Christ, you can't help but to show honor. Let us pray. Heavenly father, I pray that this is the conviction of our heart, that we love one another. We would put our own needs aside.

We would put our selfish ambitions to death. And we would in honor of God desire to love your bride and build one another up. Loving our brothers in the faith, loving our sisters in the faith, considering one another's needs ahead of our own, giving and loving without expecting anything in return and not shaming somebody because we don't think that they've loved us as much as we've loved them.

We do all of this to the glory and honor of our great King, knowing that the reward we're gonna get in heaven is far greater than any kind of recognition that we could get from other people here on earth.

Help us to live in a way that is reflective, reflecting the Christ who lives within us. And we pray this in Jesus' name, amen.

You've been listening to When We Understand the Text with Pastor Gabe Hughes. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, Gabe will be going through a New Testament study. Then on Thursday, we look at an Old Testament book.

On Friday, we take questions from the listeners and viewers. Tomorrow, we'll pick up on a Old Testament study When We Understand the Text.