The Good Gift of Marriage

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No Compromise Radio Thanks for tuning in to No Compromise Radio with pastor and author,

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Dr. Mike Ebendroth. Today on No Compromise Radio, we'll be hearing Pastor Mike open the

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Word of God in a recent message he preached at Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston, Massachusetts.

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Now let's join Pastor Mike in progress as he preaches through the Scriptures, verse by verse with no compromise.

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Don't you know that God likes order? God likes order and He's used the church,

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He's used the family, and He's used the government to keep that order on earth.

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Three divinely decreed institutions to keep order, the church, the family, and government.

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So it shouldn't be shocking to us that if God likes these things to help with order,

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I think Satan would not like them. I think it would be easy to say if God is trying to keep order through government, through the church, and through marriage, that Satan would like to tear down government, church, and marriage.

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And you look at government, and you look at churches, and you look at marriages, and that's what we often see.

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I read this week how divinely ordained marriage, the holy covenant of marriage, is being attacked, assaulted.

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Dr. Abloh, Kenneth Abloh, Brown University graduate,

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John Hopkins School of Medicine, and faculty right in our backyard, New England Medical Center in Boston, co -author of a book with Glenn Beck, and on the

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Fox News Medical A -Team. Here's what he has to say about marriage, quote, a real, it's a source of real suffering for the vast majority of married people.

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He's not, quote, not certain marriage ever did suit most people who tried it.

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From what I hear, Abloh said in my psychiatric office, and from what I hear from other psychiatrists and psychologists, and from what my friends and relatives tell me, and show me through their behavior, and from the fact that most marriages end either in divorce or acrimony, marriage is a source of real suffering.

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By the way, I'm here to tell you that I'm happily, joyfully married. So there,

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Abloh, just kidding. As a healer, Abloh said, I can't look askance at anything that depletes energy, optimism, mood, and passion to the extent that marriage does.

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It is, without a doubt, one of the leading causes of major depression in the nation. I'm depressed even just reading that.

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Smart, aware people feel consciously or unconsciously disempowered from the moment they say,

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I do. By the way, if you don't say that, you're not smart or empowered. You see how he phrases it.

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Once human beings understood that they could express themselves emotionally, romantically, and sexually without necessarily creating multiple families and perilously dividing their assets, the psychological pain of living without sexual passion was significantly intensified.

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In other words, once the pill came along, you do whatever you want, no consequences. The vast, vast majority of men and women, the doctor says, in fact, are no longer physically attracted to their spouses after five or ten years.

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That's being kind, he says. I don't know, this guy must be on a different planet because after 22 years, my wife is still a fox.

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I just want to tell you that right now. If you're a visitor here, welcome to No Compromise Radio Ministry.

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Human beings are not just built, are just not built to desire one another after we have flossed in the same room a hundred times and shared a laundry basket for a thousand days.

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We should come up with something that improves the quality of our lives and those of our children. Isn't that sad?

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That's sad when God makes marriage for His glory and for our good.

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The good, generous, gracious God giving marriage to His people as a good gift, as a kind gift.

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Out of His lavish grace, He gives good gifts. And so what does the world say? If God gives something for good, then it's not good.

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If God creates by divine fiat, well, then evolution must be true.

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This guy happens to be a life coach and he can motivate you to lose weight, find love, dramatically improve your relationships, and find financial freedom.

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And now I quit quoting by the way he does that, probably through getting you to divorce your spouse. Let's turn our

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Bibles to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 and see what God says. And I think you'll see that God says marriage is good, marriage is divinely created, marriage should be permanent, marriage is holy, and it's for the good of society.

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It's wonderful, healthy, excellent. And we've been going through 1 Corinthians and right at chapter 7,

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Paul begins to answer some questions that the church of Corinth had. He was dealing with issues in the church, immoral behavior in the church, lack of unity in the church.

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And then in chapter 7 verse 1, he says, but now concerning these things, you have written me some questions.

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We don't know what those questions are, but we do know the answers and the answers begin in chapter 7 verse 1 and following.

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And we've been working through a series here in chapter 7 dealing with marriage, dealing with singleness.

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And today we'll zoom in on 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 10 through 16 that talk about the permanence of marriage.

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E. Lawson said, 50 years ago, parents were apt to have a lot of kids.

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Nowadays kids are apt to have a lot of parents. The book called

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Divorce, How and When to Let Go by John Adam and Nancy Williamson says, quote, your marriage can wear out.

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It's like an old Buick, I guess. People change their values and lifestyles. People want to experience new things.

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Change is part of life. Change and personal growth are traits for you to be proud of.

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I just kept thinking of Isaiah calling wickedness good and good wickedness.

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Change and personal growth are traits you should be proud of, indicative of a vital searching mind. In other words, if you're not ready to throw away your spouse, you don't have a searching mind.

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You must accept the reality that in today's multifaceted world, it is especially easy for two persons to grow apart.

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Letting go of your marriage, if it's no longer fulfilling, can be the most successful thing you have ever done.

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Getting a divorce can be a positive, problem -solving, growth -oriented step. It can be a personal triumph.

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Well, if your number one goal is happiness versus holiness, then maybe these people have a point.

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There's nothing new under the sun. 2 ,000 years ago, a

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Jewish man wrote, a wife, a bad wife is like leprosy to her husband. What is the remedy?

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Let him divorce her and be cured of his leprosy. Another man said, if a man has a bad wife, it is his religious duty to divorce her.

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It's sin to divorce your wife if she's bad, this person says. Today, we have all kinds of people out there getting divorces for irreconcilable differences, for another relationship, because they're bored, because they say they're incompatible, they're not in love anymore, they need more zing, marriage is not meant to be this hard.

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What does God say? As I said last week, when you hold up the Bible, this is the Bible. What does

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God say? Doesn't He know best? Doesn't He know what is good for us and what's the best for His glory?

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So today, we're going to look at chapter 7 verses 10 through 16 about marriage and divorce.

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And I want to say from the very beginning that if you're divorced, the

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Bible says there's forgiveness for divorce, doesn't it? For those who've been divorced, of course there's forgiveness.

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There's forgiveness for every sin. Aren't you glad for that? I'm very, very glad. And by the way, if you're not a

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Christian today, may I say that you could have a perfect marriage and be married for 50 years and still go to hell without Christ Jesus.

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Marriage isn't a sacrament. Marriage does not get you to heaven. Matter of fact, it's harder humanly for people with good lives and good marriages to see their need for a

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Savior because they think everything's good. Their life's good, their spouse is faithful, and they think, you know what, it's more difficult humanly because unless you think you're sick, you don't need a physician.

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This week I was riding my bicycle. It was last Monday, matter of fact, and I'm riding my bicycle and I've been putting out buying new tires for quite some time.

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I'm 10 miles away and I begin to feel like I have a shock absorber on the back of my bicycle. And you know that means you're getting a flat.

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So I pull over, I put my spare tube on. The spare tube that's brand new is defective.

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I take my patch kit out to patch my bad tube, and my patch kit is defective.

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And it is bad to be a bicycler and have to call mommy. Kim, you think you can come pick me up?

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So she came and got me and I just was, just bugged about it when things break and don't go right.

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So finally I thought, well you know what, she took me back home, I fixed the bike and I said I'm going to go on a ride anyway.

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So I rode and about at the 10 mile spot from the second ride, there was a lady looking at directions and I always see people at this corner looking for directions because the soccer field down the street two miles, when you type in GPS soccer field, it sends you to this corner.

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And every time I turn around that corner, I see people going like this and I say, can I help you? And I said to this lady, she's probably 55, in the car by herself,

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I said, do you need directions to the soccer field? She said no, but okay.

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My glasses on, you know, haven't shaved in a while. She said, but I do need help getting to the 495,

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I need to go to Taunton. I said, oh I can help you. And she said, but don't I go up there? Long story short, she said, okay, thank you very much.

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And I said, well while I'm here, I said, I'm a Baptist pastor and I'd like to know one day when you die and stand before God speaking of directions, how are you going to get to heaven?

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She said, because I'm a good person. This is kind of like a wretched radio joke or something,

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I'm thinking, because I'm a good person. I said, now to summarize the whole conversation, I said this, boy,

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God the father sure was a vicious father to punish his son like that for people who could get to heaven on their own.

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Oh, she said, no, don't talk that way. And I said, okay. I said,

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Jesus, who owns heaven? Says nobody's good. Well, my

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God's a God of love. I mean, how could I write such a thing? Because I hear it all the time. I said, God is a

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God of love. That's why he sent his son to die for sinful people. I said, matter of fact, and this is the tone of the conversation, not exact quote.

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You say you're good and you're not going to heaven. She's doing that. And I say in my heart, at least

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I've committed adultery, murder, and I'm a liar, and I'm going to heaven. How does that work?

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It's like, does not compute. That's what she was doing. You know, it's about time to put the car in driving again, you know, she's going to drive off.

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I said, listen, I'm sitting here getting eaten by mosquitoes. I'm just trying to tell you the truth. You can drive off if you want, but the least you can do is just listen to the message.

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And here's the message. And I talked about how God sent his son to die in the place of not good people, but of bad people because they could never get to heaven because you fall short of the glory of God.

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And how Jesus perfectly obeyed the law and he was raised from the dead. And your responsibility, lady, is to look to Christ and not your own goodness.

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And the whole time I'm thinking, why was I bugged that I got a flat tire? Because this is all divinely orchestrated.

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This is perfect. She's about ready to drive off.

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It was 530 at night. And I said, turn your radio to 760 AM. Now, I would have given a million dollars if it would have been 330, a million.

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I said, turn your radio to 760 and listen to what they say there about heaven.

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I said, by the way, Monday to Friday, you'll hear another voice at 330. It's my voice. And I'm going to be telling you the exact same thing on the radio that I'm telling you now that there's forgiveness found through Christ Jesus.

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People know they're bad, so they need a savior. I would have loved it if it would have been 330.

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She turned it on, heard my voice. That would have been the best. So she said, thank you.

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I said, thank you. And then I gave her the wrong direction so she'd have a trial and have to call to Jesus on the way home.

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All right. The way of the transgressor's heart, that's the wrong direction. Go that way. No, just kidding.

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I told her the right direction. Here's my point though. When it comes to marriage and divorce, you can have no divorce in your past.

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You can be married now, but if you're not born again, if you're single now and you're not born again, it doesn't matter.

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And Paul is writing to the church of Corinth, the people who were rascals, they were sinners. And he says, you can have forgiveness found in Christ Jesus.

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And in light of forgiveness, then respond. Christian ethics, Christian sanctification is

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Jesus paid it all. Say the rest. All to him I owe. In light of the cross, how do

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I respond? And so that's the gospel and that's Christian living. It's not work really hard to keep your marriages together.

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Yes, in light of the cross, work hard to keep your marriages together. And so Paul is going to say in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verses 10 to 16, he's going to give us three strands.

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I've called called them three strands of biblical rebar to reinforce your view of marriage and divorce according to the scriptures, not what the, not what the wisdom says on TV or Fox News or anybody else.

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I want you to think biblically about divorce and remarriage. So three strands of rebar to kind of undergird and to reinforce you in this age where the world says, forget it.

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I call it the Elizabeth Taylor age of divorce and remarriage, right?

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How many times? Eight times? I don't know. Back in the Bible days, Marshall, the Roman poet says a woman had 10 husbands.

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One after another, after another. Juvenal said a woman had eight husbands in five years.

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Jerome talked about a woman who was married to her 23rd husband. And she herself was his 21st wife.

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Juvenal also said, this is a writer on 100 AD, that women wore out their bridal veils with so many marriages.

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Just like today, we need God's divine revelation. So the first strand of biblical rebar found in 1

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Corinthians 7, 10 to 16 is this. If you're a Christian and you're married, don't get divorced.

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If you're a Christian married to another Christian, don't get divorced. Let's read verses 10 and 11 because that's where the first strand comes from.

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To the married, I give this charge. Not I, but the Lord. The wife should not separate from her husband, but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband and the husband should not divorce his wife.

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Rebar number one, if you're married to another Christian, as a Christian, you must not get divorced.

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Now, Paul has been fairly toned down in his delivery here.

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He's been fairly kind in his approach, very pastoral, singles, married couples, but do you see kind of the change here?

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You see the change of tone? To the married, I give this charge. I'm going to give you this charge.

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This is a non -negotiable. The whole tone, the tenor changes right about now.

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Now maybe some people were advocating celibacy in marriage, maybe, but I don't think that's the big deal.

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Maybe some people were divorcing to remarry others. That's probably true, but not the main issue.

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What Paul says is this. He's going to address ladies three times first and then the men in verses 10 and 11.

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Ladies, ladies, ladies, that is brides, brides, brides, then he's going to say something to the husbands.

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What's going on here? Here's probably what's happening. Before the people got saved, the husband -to -be, the man who was not a husband yet, was a totally promiscuous, horrible, may

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I say the word, pervert of a man. He was very, very grotesque when it came to sexual immorality, and therefore now this person is married to that man, and even though that man's a

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Christian, all that baggage is back there in some of the woman's thinking, is it right for me to still be with this man?

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That's got to be the context. Is he really washed? Is he really sanctified?

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Chapter five, you're supposed to avoid sexually immoral people. My husband is a Christian now, but he used to be immoral, and if Paul says in chapter five, avoid immoral people, am

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I supposed to get divorced? And Paul's going to say no. He's going to say no.

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And what does Paul do? He like any good apostle, when

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Jesus has spoken, he appeals to Christ, and what Jesus has said. Do you see the text? Verse 10, to the married,

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I give this charge, well not I, but the Lord. What does that mean? Jesus has already spoken about the subject, and they are very familiar with the subject.

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The Corinthians know Jesus talked about divorce and remarriage, and so I could give you this as an apostolic charge.

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I am Jesus' said apostle, but I could also say, this is what Jesus said. You all know what

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Jesus says about divorce, therefore I'm going to tell you and remind you what Jesus said about divorce. So that's what he means there.

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I think the ESV does a good job putting it in parentheses. Not I, but the

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Lord. At Bethlehem Bible Church, we believe that all the Bibles, the red letter edition, either through Jesus' direct words, or through his prophets, or through his apostles.

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It's all inspired. So Paul is going to appeal to Jesus' authority. Say, well you know,

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I'm not getting my needs met, I'm not happy, I appeal to Jesus' authority who made you and who made your marriage, you may not get divorced.

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Not I, but the Lord. Why don't we turn to Mark chapter 10, because it would be fair to say, well what did

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Jesus say? So let's go back and have a nice review. Mark chapter 10, what did Jesus say about marriage and divorce?

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I think that would be important for us if he's the one that designed it, he's the one that created it, he's the one that we answer to, and in light of the cross, we want to live before Christ.

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What does Jesus say about divorce? Fascinating when Jesus deals with the false teachers.

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Because if someone knows they're sinful, he's kind to them, he's nice to them, he's generous to them, but to people who think they have their own righteousness, the self -righteous, he blisters them.

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And so what happens here with the Pharisees and with these people? Verse 1 of chapter 10, and he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the

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Jordan. Crowds gathered to him again, and again, as was his custom, he taught them.

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Pharisees came up, and in order to test him, asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? By the way, they want to focus and harp on divorce,

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Jesus is going to focus on and harp on marriage. He answered them, what did

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Moses command you? They said, Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.

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Jesus said to them, because of your hardness of heart, he wrote you this command. But from the beginning of creation,

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God made them male and female. Jesus is now moving this conversation to a higher level, not divorce, but marriage.

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It was God's idea, God's plan, God's decree, God's divinely orchestrated plan.

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But from the beginning, God made them male and female, literally a male and a female.

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That's God's best, that's before the fall. That's good to be reminded of when we live in this society where all the divorces are going out there and we think, based on the bell curve, where do

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I set? Well where you need to set is, it's good that God created marriage. Verse 7, therefore, because of that, because of the nature of this divinely orchestrated and ordained thing called marriage, holy covenant of marriage, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.

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Leave behind, forsake. By the way, that was originally given to Adam and Eve, who neither of them had any parents.

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Find that interesting? No parents to leave, but a good pattern, a good pattern for us all.

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The marriage has higher priority than any other relationship in the world.

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Higher than your kids, higher than your step kids, higher than anybody else. Priority over even your parents.

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And you know this language, but it's good to be reminded, verse 8, and the two shall become one flesh.

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So they're no longer two, but one. This union that no one could break apart, two become one flesh.

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Joined, yoked, glued, cleaving. My old pastor said every marriage and every child is a creation of God, and therefore divorce and abortion share this tragically evil common denominator.

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They kill a creation of God. If you are pro -choice, and I hope, excuse me, pro -life,

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I hope you are, then you should be consistent when it comes to marriage as well.

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You want God's best? Verse 9, Mark 10, what therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

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For us, we have divorced, married, and in the middle, separation. Only two categories in the

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Bible. You were either married or you were divorced, and here it's a synonym for divorce, is separate. It's not, well,

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I'm going to go live in another house for a while and see how we do away from another. That's not a biblical concept. Here it's, if God has joined these together, glued these together, brought these together, then let no man separate them for what reason?

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For divorce. They were one flesh. Now you're going to separate that. That means divorce. Marriage is permanent.

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That's the idea. You don't want to dissolve a divinely sanctified thing.

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Monogamous, heterosexual, permanence, that's what marriage is. You know the text in Malachi 2, for I hate divorce, says the

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Lord. I think Luther had a way of saying things, and I like this. Listen well,

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I have such a hatred of divorce that I prefer bigamy to divorce, Luther said.

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Verse 10 of Mark, chapter 6, and in the house, the disciples ask him again about this matter.

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And by the way, for those who think, you know what, it's better to get divorced, better to just get out of this trouble.

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The trouble that they get into is even worse than the trouble that they're in. And he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.

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As one man says, that's the divorce of, the divorce is a sacrament of adultery. And if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.