Dealing with Difficult People

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Alright, well let's begin with a word of prayer and then we'll open up the Word together.
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Our Father and our God, we come to you in Jesus' name.
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Lord, we thank you and we praise you that you have brought us to this place tonight to hear your Word preached.
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I do pray, Lord, that as the mouthpiece, Lord, that you would keep me from error, that you would fill me with your Spirit and that you would anoint the words to move on the hearts of your people and that Lord, through the Word, all of us would be changed and brought closer to the image of Christ which your Word says you are constantly conforming us to through the process of sanctification.
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And Lord, as we consider tonight your majesty and your greatness, we are humbled that we can even approach your throne of grace but yet we are reminded that your Word teaches us that we are able to come confidently before the throne of grace, that we are able to bring you our prayers and petitions, that we are able to lift people up in prayer like Miss Ellie and the others who have been mentioned tonight, that we present them to you, O Lord, and we ask that you be merciful to them.
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We ask that you touch them with your hand of grace, that you encourage them and strengthen them through their difficult times.
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Lord, we thank you for the praises tonight and we thank you for those people who have experienced a blessing and have experienced strengthening and encouragement and healing.
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For we know, O Lord, that all healing comes from you.
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For you, O Lord, are the minister of healing, you are the author of healing, and for that we give you thanks.
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And Father, as we see these people who are in need, as we see these people who are hurting, we pray, O Lord, that you would make us ministers of your Spirit's power, use the gifts that you have given to us to encourage them, to strengthen them, and to do all that we can do physically while you move on them spiritually.
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And Father, all these things we ask, not because we are worthy of making the request, but because, O Lord, you, through the gospel, have caused us to be righteous, not in and of ourselves, but you have given us righteousness through the blood of the Lamb.
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You have transferred this righteousness to us and our sin to Him.
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And for this, O Lord, we give you thanks beyond measure.
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And all these things we ask in Jesus' name and for His sake.
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Amen.
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If you would like to open up your Bibles, we are going to finish tonight Romans chapter 12.
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We have been in Romans for a couple of years, but we have been in Romans chapter 12 for a few months now.
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And we have been looking at this chapter and we are looking forward to tonight finishing the chapter.
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I want to also let you know about something that has somewhat become a tradition for Wednesday night lessons.
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And that is this, when we finish a chapter that we are studying, the next Wednesday after that is a complete service dedicated to any questions that you might have about that particular lesson or that particular chapter.
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So, here is what I am asking for you to do this week.
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Not just from tonight, but from all that we have been studying, whether it be about spiritual gifts, whether it be about offering up ourselves as a living sacrifice, or whether it be about what we talk about tonight.
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I am encouraging you to go home, put together questions that you have that pertain to this particular chapter.
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And you can either email them to me or you can wait until next week and put me on the spot.
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Because that works as well.
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I would encourage you, though, if you have an opportunity to email me your questions ahead of time.
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But this all came about a few years ago as a result of all of the pastors conferences.
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I used to go to pastors conferences a lot.
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I don't go as much anymore.
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They have become very expensive and a lot of the information you can get through audio now and you don't have to go and actually go to the conferences anymore.
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Even though I do sometimes for encouragement and things like that.
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But when I used to go, one of the highlights of the conferences was always the opportunity where Dr.
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Sproul or Dr.
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White or any of the guys that I really enjoyed, they would give us an opportunity to ask a question.
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And it could be on a range of subjects, but it usually had to do with whatever the subject had been for that particular conference.
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And that was always a highlight for us to be able to ask those questions.
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So that's why we started.
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At the end of each chapter, we take an entire Wednesday night and devote it to questions and answers.
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And so the lesson next week will be dictated by what you are interested in, what questions that you have.
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Because it really is one of my favorite things to do actually is to sit and seek to find the answers to the questions.
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Because a lot of people have questions that they don't ever feel like they have an opportunity to ask in a public setting.
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And sometimes I get some of the best questions and it's not in a public setting.
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Somebody asked me by the back door or somebody calls me at home or somebody sends me an email.
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And it's some great questions.
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I didn't mean to point you out.
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I did, but I didn't.
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Or they send me an email that has a couple of questions and I'm like, you know what? This is good stuff and it's stuff that everybody should be hearing.
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Because I'm imagining this is not the only person that has this question.
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So I want to encourage you this week if you have questions to please, please be thinking about them.
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Send them to me.
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And like I said, we're going to do that at the end of chapter 12.
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We'll do it again at the end of chapter 13 and so on.
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As I've tried to do at the end of each of these chapters.
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So we'll begin tonight by reading Romans chapter 12 verse 17.
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And we'll read down through verse 21.
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And that will be the focus of the lesson.
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Verse 17 begins like this.
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Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
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If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
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Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God.
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For it is written, vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.
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To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him.
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If he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
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For by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.
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Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
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May God add his blessing to the reading and to the hearing of his word.
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How many of you are familiar with the term taxonomy? Taxonomy simply is the most basic of sciences.
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It's putting things into categories.
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That's all it is.
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And that's really how science begins.
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You have to start putting things into different categories.
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Well, psychologists, as psychology is a type of science, psychologists have spent a great deal of time over the last couple hundred years, specifically in the last hundred years, they've spent a great deal of time putting people into categories so that they might better understand and study behavioral patterns.
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In fact, psychologists often break people down into four personality types.
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Some of you have heard that.
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You've heard there are four personality types.
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Anybody know what they are? Maybe you've heard this.
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Sanguine.
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Sanguine.
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That's awesome that you knew those two.
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Yeah, those two, sanguine, choleric, melancholic, and phlegmatic.
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I think that's how you pronounce the last one.
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So you have those four.
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And basically, those are medical terms, but sanguine means pleasure-seeking or sociable attitude or temperament.
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Choleric is ambitious or leader-like.
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Melancholic is introverted and thoughtful.
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And phlegmatic is relaxed and quiet.
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There's a man by the name of Gary Smalley.
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How many of you are familiar? You know who Gary Smalley is.
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Gary Smalley is a Christian author and a relationship expert, and he actually uses a little bit of a different method in how he puts people into categories, but it's based on the same idea.
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But his, instead of calling them sanguine or choleric or whatever, he uses four animal types.
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And I don't know how many of you were here, but a few years ago I actually had people take the little, he has this little personality quiz, and they all took the little personality quiz, and all the different people got to be animals, and we got to joke around about what strengths and weaknesses of different animal types are.
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For instance, you might be a lion.
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A lion is the choleric personality or the leader, leadership-driven, ambitious.
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Their strength is usually they're good motivators.
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They're good leaders.
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They're good at getting people to do things.
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Otters are pleasure seekers.
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They're usually good networkers.
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They're good at getting people, you know, connecting with a lot or a larger group of people.
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The beaver.
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Beavers are the introverted people, the thinkers, the people who chew on things.
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That's where the beaver idea came from, is that they sit and they chew on things for a long time.
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Or the golden retriever.
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The golden retriever is the empathizer, the person who loves, the person who is very relaxed and quiet, and they love people, and, you know, kind of like a golden retriever does.
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They love on you, and they encourage you.
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And I always kind of joke around.
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I always say, you know, in my house I'm the lion, and my wife is a golden retriever, and we make for good relations because of how we connect with one another.
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Two lions very seldom connect together well because both of them have leadership drive, and both of them like to be in charge.
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It's kind of difficult for two lions to be in a marriage relationship because often those two people are constantly butting heads.
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And it's also difficult for lions to be married to otters because otters tend to be a little bit less, they tend to be a little less driven, a little bit less directed.
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And a lion is totally driven, totally directed, and focused, sometimes overly so, so those people end up butting heads a lot.
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And this is what Gary Smalley does in his relationship course.
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He basically says, if you're this type of person, and you're married to this type of person, here are some of the things you can expect in your marriage to be difficult.
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Here are some of the things you can expect if your child, if you've got two parents who are otters, and they have a child who is a lion, that child is going to run the house.
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And that's sort of how he does it.
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He sort of says there's different personality types, but they can sort of be, they can be combined together, and they can be brought together to kind of see these personality types and how they work together.
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Now I mention these not because I wanted tonight to do a long exposition on personality types, but I want to make a point that I think goes good with this particular text, is that there are certain people who naturally draw us, and there are certain people who naturally repel us.
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Would we agree? That there are certain people that you know, that naturally draw you in.
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That you want to be around.
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You like these people, and they like you, and there's just some kind of a connection.
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And then there's other people that really, it seems like every time you hear them talk, there's almost this, it's almost like the, kind of you ever rub a cat in the wrong direction, and the cat puffs up, and his whole body cringes, and it seems like every time you hear them speak, that happens.
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You cringe at their words.
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Well, again, Dr.
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Smalley and his lessons on how to have better relationships spends a great deal of time teaching on how and what motivates certain types of people what makes them tick.
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And because as Christians we want to try to love people as best we can, he teaches people how to find the ways to love people of all different types.
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And I actually use Dr.
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Smalley's tapes when I'm doing premarital counseling.
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I use his tapes.
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I make them watch his tapes.
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Because I think what he's saying is very good in that regard.
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I believe it's important because certain personality types tend to be more difficult than others.
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Some people are driven by bullyish qualities.
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You may know a bully.
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All of us know a bully.
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Hopefully none of us are, but all of us know people who can be abusive and intimidating.
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Some people are driven by negativity.
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They're always looking for something wrong, something they can pick apart, something they can correct.
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The old joke is the guy was walking through heaven, he died, he went to heaven, he's walking around, he sees a suggestion box.
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He said, I thought everything in heaven was perfect.
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And the other guy said, yeah, well some people aren't happy unless they're complaining.
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You know, ha ha ha.
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Some people are driven by victimized, by a victimized quality.
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They feel like the world is out to get them.
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They want to play that victim attitude.
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Some people are driven by ego.
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They have to be the experts of everything.
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Whatever the conversation is, they know everything about it.
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And the list goes on and on.
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We all know these people.
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We all know people that are difficult to deal with.
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And the reason why I mention this is because I believe Paul is placing on us here, the Word of God, not Paul, but through Paul is being written here, a burden on all of us to be at peace with all types of people.
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Because I want to show you something in the text that I think is very interesting.
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Read it again.
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It says, Repay no one evil for evil.
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In the King James, a recompense.
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No one evil for evil.
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And that no one there is what we call the universal negative.
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You've heard me talk about the universal negative before.
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Universal negative is when Jesus said, No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up on the last day, John 6, 44.
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No one can.
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That's a universal negative.
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And so here it's used again.
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Repay no one, not anyone, evil for evil.
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But give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
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We're going to go back to that phrase honorable in a minute.
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But just going on in the sentence.
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It says, If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
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Now, some of your texts say all men, right? Some of them say all men.
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Some just say all.
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Actually, the word men is in the text in the Greek.
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It's Pantos and Propon, which would be all men or all.
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But here's the thing.
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It's not all men in Toto.
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It literally is all types of men.
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The same way every one of us has heard this.
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The love of money is the root of all evil.
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Right? We've heard that phrase before.
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The love of money is the root of all evil.
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Actually, that's a misquotation.
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Because if you say the love of money is the root of all evil, somebody could quickly come back and say, Well, the love of money is not the root of rape.
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The love of money is not the root of child abuse.
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The love of money is not the root of kidnapping.
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And they could say the Bible's wrong.
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Well, here's the thing.
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The Bible's not wrong.
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It's been misquoted.
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Because the word all there can have two meanings.
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It can be all without exception or all without distinction.
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And what's being said here is all without distinction.
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The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
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Because it really is.
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There's all kinds of evil that comes from the love of money.
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Well, the same thing here.
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When the text very specifically says, So far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all kinds of men.
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And the idea is that there are all kinds of people in the world.
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There are people that are really easy to get along with.
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There are people that are just happy and joyful and enjoyable to be around.
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And those people we love to be around.
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And we love because we're at peace with them all the time.
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But then there are those people that are very hard to be at peace with.
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Right? I wasn't looking at you for any reason, Jack.
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I promise.
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No, no.
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Jack and I get along great.
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No, I'm saying no.
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There are people we all know.
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Right? There are people that just make it very difficult to get along with them.
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And here he is placing a burden upon us.
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The burden that it is as much our responsibility, more so our responsibility, to seek that we live at peace with them.
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In life we are going to have to deal with all types of people.
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We are constantly going to have to relate with people who see things differently than us.
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Even in church we might share theological bents.
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We might share moral positions.
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We often have, though at the same time, with these people who we have these theological similarities and these moral similarities, we might have differing attitudes on ways that we deal with people.
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And sometimes these can come off as unloving, harsh, or just plain rude.
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And it is our natural tendency, when someone behaves like that towards us, that we want to respond to them the same way.
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You were rude to me.
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I'm going to give it back to you.
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And I'm going to give it back twofold to make sure you know not ever to do that again.
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I'm going to make it twice as bad on you as you made it on me.
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And make sure that you understand that you're not ever going to get me that way again.
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And we've all had it happen.
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Because the flesh is very quick to rise up.
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When somebody hurts us, and this is why the title is tonight, Our Response to Personal Injuries.
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And I'm not talking about personal injuries necessarily being physical.
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I'm talking about any injury, whether it be emotional, whether it be physical, whether it be just psychological, whatever.
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Whatever we want to call it.
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All kinds of people injure us.
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And there are people who injure us in the church and outside the church.
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Now outside the church, there are people who are going to injure us and they're not going to care.
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And we shouldn't expect any more or less.
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Because if they're unbelievers and they're behaving like unbelievers, we should not be surprised.
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I've never been surprised that a sinner would act like a sinner.
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What's surprising is when you see someone who is supposed to be a saint, a follower of Christ, a believer, when they're behaving sinfully and unrepentant of that sin.
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That's when it sometimes can be surprising to see that behavior.
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But it does happen.
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People are ugly to us.
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People have been ugly over the years.
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So much ugliness have we all experienced.
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One of the things that often gets me is people who say, you know, I don't want to go back to church because somebody was ugly to me at this time or that time.
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And I'm like, really? I'm trying to be the pastor.
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Because you don't know ugly, really, until you've been, you know, my wife and I can attest to ugliness.
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True.
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Hard.
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Harsh.
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Judgmental.
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Straight up.
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Cut you to the bone and leave you bare and open.
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Ugliness.
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I tell this story.
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Everybody knows my wife.
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My wife is probably one of the least assuming people that you would ever want to meet.
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She dresses very unassumingly.
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She's not gaudy at all.
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She's not a person who wears a lot of makeup or a lot of, you know, anything.
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Well, she wears clothes.
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She doesn't wear jewelry or fashion.
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She dresses nicely but not overly.
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And one time she wore a little bit of makeup or something and a person came to her and said, you know, all that makeup makes you look like a whore.
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Or I'm sorry, a prostitute.
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Did I say prostitute? Was that the word? They mean about the same.
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Yeah, I know what they mean about the same.
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But still.
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And you know what my initial gut reaction was? Where are they? You know, you grab your bayonet and you charge.
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Because that's my wife.
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I'm her husband.
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I felt offended for her.
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And my offense rated response.
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That's my heart.
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That's my flesh.
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My flesh went.
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And I was ready to lavish verbal blows upon the person who would so offend my wife.
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But then I remembered.
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I'm not supposed to do that.
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Because we can't have that attitude.
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It is incumbent upon us to seek peace in any relationship.
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It is incumbent upon us according to the text.
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And I like the fact that in the Greek.
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I went and looked at the Greek this week.
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And I was trying to see if there was anything fancy about it.
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Anything special that would make it.
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But really it's not.
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It pretty much just is what it says here in the English.
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And it makes the point to say, if possible, so far as it depends on you.
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I mean, it really stresses the fact that I think we all realize.
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And that you can't live at peace with everybody.
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Because you're not going to be able to live at peace with everybody.
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Because some people are not going to allow you to live at peace with them.
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They're going to want the battle so much that they're not going to let you.
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But he's putting the burden on us to say that so much as it depends on you.
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So much as it is your attitude.
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So much that it is your position.
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So much that it is your pain.
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So much that it is your injury.
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So much that it is your flesh that's keeping there from being peace.
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You've got to give it up.
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Yes ma'am.
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Yeah.
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Absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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But it's our burden.
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And I call it a burden not in a bad way.
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What I mean is it's hung on us.
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It's kind of like burden proof.
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The burden of peace is on us.
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Because number one, if it's an unbeliever.
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Then we shouldn't expect any less or more.
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And if it's a believer.
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Then we are not to sit in.
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You know and rancor over this mistake.
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This sin that this person's made.
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Now going to them and saying you hurt my feelings.
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You sinned against me.
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You know I would please don't ever say that again.
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It hurt me so bad.
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That's one thing.
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But the attitude like the fighting back.
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That's the attitude he's trying to keep.
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Because that's not seeking to live at peace.
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That's seeking to perpetuate the war.
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It's seeking to keep it going.
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And I think that's the key here.
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Though it is incumbent upon us to seek peace in every relationship.
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Peace will not always be in every relationship.
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Because sometimes it's not ours that is the fault.
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Sometimes truth and righteousness will disallow peace between us.
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And other people and unbelievers.
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Sometimes speaking the truth gets people angry with us.
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I'm glad you agree.
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Yeah that's true.
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Sometimes doing the right thing or speaking the right thing.
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Causes people to be angry with us.
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In fact I think part of the reason why the Apostle Paul here.
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Makes the point to go in and say as much as it relies on you.
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Live at peace with all men.
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If possible I think by adding those words.
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I think the reason why he's using that.
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Is because if he would have just said live peaceably with all men.
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Number one it would have been impossible.
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Number two you could no way say that Christ lived at peace with all men.
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Because his convictions and his preaching.
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Even though he was the ultimate example of love.
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He was the ultimate example of humility.
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He was still not able to live at peace with all men.
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If he was they would have never put him on the cross.
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His preaching of righteousness.
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His preaching of the truth.
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Caused him to be the enemy of his people.
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Not his people but the Jews.
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His people by nationality not necessarily by faith.
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As such we are not expected.
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And we cannot expect to have everyone be at peace with us.
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But we can do our best to ensure that nothing is ever held from our side.
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If we have done our best.
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And a person is still at war with us.
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We are not at fault.
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But if all it would take.
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Listen to this.
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I tried to when I sat here writing my notes today.
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I sat here and I thought how do I want to say this.
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I think I got it.
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If all it would take from us.
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Is a simple apology.
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A simple loving gesture.
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Or a simply a change in countenance.
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To bring peace to the situation.
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Then we have no right to hold that back from anyone.
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If all it would take is a simple apology.
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A simple gesture.
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Or simply a change in our countenance.
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You know how many times I've had people that were angry with me.
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Change their attitude simply because I changed my face.
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I didn't take it off and get a new one.
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I wish I could.
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But I mean I went from having.
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And people tell me all the time.
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You can read my face like a book.
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Because when I'm upset it's pretty plain on my face.
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But to change that to that face of concern or love.
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Sometimes that's what they want.
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Sometimes they want you to quit being angry with them.
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And sometimes that's all they need.
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Now that does not mean.
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That we apologize for the gospel.
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If someone has been offended by the Word of God.
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We're not liable for that.
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Because we can't change what the Word of God says.
29:19
But what if.
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We've hurt someone with an unintentionally hurtful word.
29:25
What if that's the cause.
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What if we've angered someone with an unintentional breach of trust.
29:35
What if we've put someone off with an unintentional attitude of pride or arrogance.
29:42
Well now we know.
29:44
That we're supposed to do something about it.
29:46
The Word of God says.
29:48
We are to hang up our pride.
29:50
Extend a hand of fellowship.
29:52
Attempt to reconcile the relationship.
29:54
Now when we put out the hand of fellowship.
29:57
If it is refused.
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We've done all we can do.
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But it is ours to put out.
30:04
It's ours to extend.
30:07
And although this will not satisfy every problem.
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We can be confident.
30:11
We have done all we can do to live peaceably with all kinds of men.
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Simply stated it is not possible to live at peace with all people.
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But as far as it depends on us.
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We have the responsibility to make every effort.
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A war should never be perpetuated from our side.
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We are the ones who have been called to the ministry of reconciliation.
30:40
Thus it is our duty.
30:44
Now we've seen that.
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We've seen so far as it depends on us live peaceably with all.
30:50
Now I mentioned that all is all types.
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Right.
30:53
I want to go back up for one second.
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Back up to the sentence preceding.
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Because it says repay no one evil for evil.
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But give thought to do what is honorable.
31:04
In the sight of all.
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Now it could be argued very easily that that still means all types of men.
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But here's what I want to stretch.
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And make you understand.
31:14
When the text uses that phrase.
31:17
The word pas or all.
31:20
It is encompassing more than just inside the church.
31:26
When it says we are to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
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It is not just saying to do what is honorable in the sight of the church.
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But we're also to do what is honorable in the sight of the world.
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Now before you get all weird and say.
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Now wait a minute.
31:46
If you talk about doing what's right in the sight of the world.
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The world often has a skewed view of what's right and what's wrong.
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That is true.
31:52
That is true.
31:53
The world does have a very skewed view of what is right.
31:56
And what is wrong.
31:57
But there is certain times in the scripture.
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Where it talks about us having a good reputation with outsiders.
32:07
And what it means by outsiders.
32:08
I mean think about the qualifications for elder.
32:11
One of the qualifications for elder.
32:12
Is that he has a good social reputation.
32:16
That he not be known in social atmosphere.
32:20
As being a cheat.
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Or being a sneak.
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Or being a person that can't be trusted with money.
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Or a person that can't be trusted with relationships.
32:27
Or can't be trusted with sensitive information.
32:34
So I go back up to this only to remind you.
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That as Christians.
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We not only have a responsibility.
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To behave righteously.
32:45
With and among ourselves.
32:47
But we have a responsibility to behave righteously.
32:51
In front of unbelievers even more so.
32:55
Because they are constantly.
32:58
Constantly looking for reasons.
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To call foul.
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Against believers.
33:05
They are constantly looking for reasons.
33:08
To call us hypocrite.
33:10
To call us unloving.
33:11
To call us unjust.
33:14
To call us whatever you can think of.
33:17
And we are supposed to seek.
33:20
To do what is honorable.
33:22
Even in front of unbelievers.
33:28
Sometimes that's hard to do.
33:30
Because sometimes what they see as honorable.
33:32
Is not what we see as honorable.
33:33
But there are some fairly common things.
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That run the gambit.
33:38
That almost all people see as honorable.
33:41
Things like trustworthiness.
33:45
You know one of the things that I've.
33:47
One of the things I've often found about unbelievers.
33:50
Is even unbelievers.
33:53
Don't like to be lied to.
33:57
In fact this is how you know.
33:58
You'll meet a man.
33:59
He'll say you know.
34:00
That's true.
34:01
I committed adultery.
34:02
But at least I didn't lie about it.
34:06
Because even unbelievers understand.
34:08
There's something about being untruthful.
34:11
There's something about being a liar.
34:13
That just goes across the board.
34:15
Whether you're a believer or not.
34:17
That people see as dishonorable.
34:19
Somebody that can't be trusted.
34:22
Is dishonorable.
34:30
Oh absolutely.
34:38
Yeah it's not even.
35:12
Well I think.
35:13
I think there.
35:16
I agree.
35:17
I agree with you.
35:18
No.
35:19
Let me just add a thought to what you're saying.
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Because basically.
35:23
You're making a good point.
35:25
That Christians don't even like to hear.
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That they've done anything wrong of course.
35:31
And nobody does.
35:32
Nobody wants to hear that they've done wrong.
35:34
Nobody wants to be challenged.
35:36
But as believers we're supposed to.
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Recognize it.
35:40
Repent of it.
35:40
And move on.
35:43
But one of the things that I.
35:44
And I'm going to be preaching on this Sunday.
35:46
Is the problem in the modern church.
35:48
Is that the modern church is filled with unbelievers.
35:51
Who call themselves believers.
35:54
And thus when someone preaches on sin.
35:57
Because they're unbelievers.
35:59
Who are filling the churches.
36:01
The churches are having to.
36:03
The churches don't want to hear that about sin.
36:05
Because unbelievers don't want to be faced with their sin.
36:09
Actually my sermon Sunday.
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The title of my sermon is illegitimate children.
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The reason the title is because it's from the text.
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The text in Hebrews chapter 12 and verse 8.
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It says if you are without discipline.
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Then you are illegitimate and not sons of God.
36:24
And what it's talking about basically.
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Is that there are people who call themselves sons of God.
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Who call themselves Christians.
36:31
Who are not.
36:33
They have never been born again.
36:35
They have never come to the cross by faith.
36:37
They are still in their sin.
36:40
They're still unregenerate.
36:41
They are still haters of God in their heart.
36:45
But they come to church.
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Because it's the socially correct thing to do.
36:51
It's the thing that appeases their conscience.
36:53
One thing the devil loves to do.
36:54
The devil loves to make unsaved people feel saved.
36:59
Because if unsaved people feel saved.
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There's nothing else to do.
37:02
We're good.
37:03
That's why I think one of the most dangerous things that ever happened to the church.
37:06
Is when the beautiful doctrine of the perseverance of the saints.
37:10
Got traded in for this ugly doctrine called once saved always saved.
37:14
It was a horrible transposition of a beautiful truth.
37:18
That God causes his people to persevere to the end.
37:21
And they thus then will be saved.
37:23
And that's what we call regeneration.
37:25
And then they replaced it for a get your ticket punched Christianity.
37:29
That all you have to do is come down the aisle.
37:30
Get your ticket punched.
37:31
You got your hell insurance.
37:32
And then you go on continuing.
37:34
Be just as devilish as you were before.
37:35
And there's no change.
37:39
And I love my Baptist brethren.
37:40
I went to a Baptist school.
37:42
But the Baptists are the worst notorious group about it.
37:45
Because they continue to fight for this doctrine of eternal security.
37:49
When they don't even understand the reformed roots from whence it came.
37:54
I better get back here.
37:57
But seriously.
37:58
It's absolutely true.
38:03
That's the nicotine.
38:12
So if you're just going to go get dipped into the...
38:23
Absolutely.
38:24
Some of it is social appeasement.
38:27
Some of it is emotional appeal.
38:29
There's all kinds of reasons why people do it.
38:32
And again.
38:33
The saddest thing is how it's being preached.
38:36
It's being preached as that's the right way to do it.
38:38
You come and you say Jesus is...
38:42
Repeat after me.
38:43
Say these words.
38:45
Dear Jesus.
38:46
Dear Jesus.
38:49
I know.
38:50
The sinner's prayer isn't in anybody's Bible.
38:55
The sinner's...
38:56
You know what's funny? Is somebody who's truly contrite over their sins.
38:59
A truly contrite heart never has to be led in prayer.
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Yeah.
39:10
Oh absolutely.
39:12
That's true.
39:13
Well they were here and they wouldn't leave.
39:15
So I prayed with them so they'd go away.
39:18
But a truly contrite heart recognizes their sin.
39:21
Recognizes Jesus as the only Savior.
39:23
And there's no...
39:24
You know.
39:25
There's no repeat after me.
39:27
Now you might explain to them if they ask.
39:29
Well I don't even know how to pray.
39:30
That's one thing to talk with them about.
39:32
But if you're just trying to get somebody to repeat words after you.
39:34
What you've done.
39:36
And this is the saddest thing.
39:38
Is you've equated Christianity with Islam.
39:42
Oh.
39:42
How'd that even come up? Because you know how someone becomes a Muslim? They repeat.
39:53
There is one God.
39:55
Allah.
39:56
And Muhammad.
39:58
Is his prophet.
40:00
But they must repeat it in Arabic.
40:02
And since the vast majority of the world does not speak Arabic.
40:07
And Arabic.
40:08
Because they have to say it in Arabic.
40:10
Because that is the language of God according to the Muslims.
40:13
A person who speaks Arabic must say it.
40:17
And they repeat the words.
40:19
To him.
40:23
Beloved we turn our face down at that.
40:25
But every one of you has been in a church.
40:27
Where a pastor stood before a group of people and said.
40:28
Alright now repeat after me.
40:30
Dear Jesus.
40:30
Dear Jesus.
40:31
I repent of my sin.
40:32
I repent of my sin.
40:34
I need you as my savior.
40:39
Meaningless words.
40:44
That don't change hearts.
40:48
But yet we.
40:49
We don't challenge them.
40:52
And we should.
40:57
Now let's go back to the text.
41:00
As we went well away from it.
41:01
But yes thank you for that.
41:05
Going on now.
41:06
After it says.
41:08
If possible so far as it depends on you.
41:10
Live peaceably with all.
41:11
It says.
41:11
Beloved never avenge yourselves.
41:14
But leave it to the wrath of God.
41:16
It is staying on the same idea here.
41:18
Because it says.
41:18
For it is written.
41:19
Vengeance is mine.
41:21
I will repay.
41:22
Says the Lord.
41:24
To the contrary.
41:25
And this is actually a quotation from Proverbs 25.
41:29
You will notice some of your Bibles actually puts it in quotation marks.
41:32
Because he is quoting Proverbs 25, 21 and 22.
41:35
He says.
41:38
If your enemy is hungry feed him.
41:40
If he is thirsty give him something to drink.
41:42
For by doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.
41:45
People.
41:45
You know people often say Jesus is so different from the Old Testament.
41:49
But say oh Jesus preached love and compassion and forgiveness.
41:52
And the Old Testament is all about war and anger and God's wrath.
41:57
Really and truly.
41:58
There is more said about hell in the New Testament.
42:00
Than even close in the Old Testament.
42:02
Most of it is said by Jesus.
42:04
And the Old Testament has so much about the love of God.
42:08
That God is long suffering and patient towards his people.
42:11
And he is forgiving.
42:12
Read the Psalms.
42:13
It just continually talks about the forgiveness of God.
42:16
So anybody who tries to pit Old Testament against New Testament.
42:19
Is usually ignorant of both.
42:21
But here is one good example.
42:24
Because what this says is very clear.
42:26
He says.
42:27
If you have got a person who has done you wrong.
42:30
It is incumbent upon you to do them right.
42:34
Your enemy is not someone who has just said an ugly word to you.
42:41
The word enemy here has a very strong connotation.
42:44
It is just somebody who hates you.
42:49
But yet we are to do them good.
42:54
Because by doing good to them.
42:56
We heap burning coals upon their head.
43:01
By the way I am going to just quote John MacArthur on that.
43:04
Because he said that this refers to the ancient Egyptian custom.
43:08
In which a person who wanted to show public contrition.
43:11
Carried a pan of burning coals on his head.
43:14
The coals represented the burning pain of his shame and guilt.
43:18
When believers lovingly help their enemies.
43:21
It should bring shame to such people for their hate and animosity.
43:26
End quote.
43:27
That is what he is saying.
43:29
I have heard people say this.
43:30
I have heard people actually interpret this passage this way.
43:35
Well if you are good to somebody who hates you.
43:37
That is just going to make them madder and madder.
43:38
See the Bible says go heap burning coals on their head.
43:41
That is not what it means.
43:43
What it means is it is going to be their shame.
43:48
If someone offends you and you do good to them.
43:53
Their offense to you will then be their shame.
44:18
Well you know if she was trying to do something good to those who have done evil.
44:23
Yes.
44:23
But if she is just trying to make them mad.
44:25
No.
44:26
Because again that comes from the flesh.
44:27
If what we are doing good to them is just trying to make them mad.
44:30
That is not the heart that it should come from.
44:32
It should literally be our doing good to them.
44:36
Is simply showing them their misbehavior.
44:39
So that they can look inwardly and see the shame.
44:43
They see the shame of what they have done.
45:21
Well I do think that.
45:30
I wouldn't.
45:37
Because I want to make a point about what you are saying.
45:40
Because you are changing the context.
45:42
Not in a bad way.
45:43
But you are moving the context now.
45:45
Because I think there is something that we have done.
45:49
That I think has really done a disservice to us.
45:53
We have equated always physical with the emotional attack.
46:00
And I think the focus here from the Apostle Paul.
46:04
Is when somebody does us wrong in any way.
46:06
It can be physical or emotional.
46:08
Our responsibility is to do good to these people.
46:12
However there is very clear passages of scripture.
46:16
Which give the responsibility and the right to personal protection.
46:21
That there is a certain point at which someone is damaging us.
46:26
That we are allowed to put our hands up to protect ourselves.
46:29
Whereas people often say to me.
46:30
Well Jesus said if a person slaps you on the one cheek.
46:33
You are supposed to turn to the other side and let them slap again.
46:35
But the people often miss the contextual point.
46:39
That in Jesus' day.
46:40
A slap to the face was equivalent or tantamount to today.
46:44
Of me spitting in your face.
46:46
A spit in the face would be an insult.
46:47
Somebody slapping the face would be an insult.
46:49
It wasn't somebody sitting on your chest.
46:51
Punching you in the face.
46:52
And you are not allowed to put your hands up to protect yourself.
46:54
That is utter foolishness to interpret the text that way.
46:58
And that is why I do believe.
47:00
And I teach personal protection.
47:02
I teach people how to be aware of what is going on around them.
47:09
So that they don't make victims out of themselves.
47:11
Because it is so easy to become a victim in today's society.
47:14
I do support the right of people to bear arms.
47:17
And I do believe.
47:18
And I know there are people who would argue with me on this.
47:20
But I do believe when Jesus said sell your coat and buy a sword.
47:25
I do not think that it was simply because there were animals on the road.
47:29
And I have heard that argument before.
47:31
That the sword that Jesus talked about wasn't for personal protection.
47:33
But it was for animals that might come in the night.
47:36
That to me makes no sense at all.
47:38
Because he is talking in the context of that passage.
47:41
About the fact that things are about to get really serious.
47:46
And dangerous.
47:50
And again if you want to talk about that passage another time.
47:52
I would feel confident to do so.
47:54
Because I think Jesus was making a point.
47:56
That there is going to come a time where we have to stand.
47:59
And protect ourselves and protect our families.
48:03
But for the most part getting back to what Paul is talking about here.
48:07
He is not talking about somebody who is trying to take our life.
48:11
He is talking about someone who has harmed us.
48:15
In such a way that we are still living.
48:18
We are still able.
48:20
You know we are still moving around.
48:22
We are able to hate them.
48:23
And we should.
48:24
Yes sir.
48:28
What is the question now? You want to take his life if you can be up with him.
48:35
Oh sure.
48:36
Because he did it because that is what he wanted to do.
48:39
So you can't.
48:41
It would be hard in your heart.
48:43
If you met him and you knew it.
48:45
To be nice to him.
48:47
I am glad you asked that question.
48:48
Because literally that is right where I was going.
48:51
And I am serious.
48:52
You are asking a question that leads into my last kind of thrust here.
48:57
Just because we are commanded not to seek individual vengeance.
49:01
And the reason why we are not supposed to seek individual vengeance.
49:03
Is because the Bible says vengeance is mine.
49:05
I will repay thus says the Lord.
49:06
And when we seek individual vengeance.
49:08
We are stealing from God something that belongs to him.
49:11
So that is.
49:12
We are not supposed to seek individual vengeance.
49:14
I don't think if somebody is hurting me and I hit them and get away.
49:16
That is not individual vengeance.
49:18
That is me getting away.
49:20
You know what I am saying.
49:21
If somebody is killing me.
49:23
And I kill them back.
49:27
That is not vengeance.
49:31
That is Florida.
49:33
Don't come to Florida.
49:36
Because if you kill us.
49:37
We will kill you back.
49:39
But seriously.
49:40
That is not vengeance.
49:42
Personal protection has never been the same as vengeance.
49:44
Nobody has ever considered those two words to even mean the same thing.
49:48
But when he talks about vengeance.
49:50
It is an unlawful response to someone injuring us.
49:54
Whether it be physically or emotionally.
49:56
Here is the thing.
49:58
Just because I don't seek vengeance against somebody.
50:02
Does not mean that I have given up the right to legal recourse.
50:10
Chapter 13.
50:12
Which is where we are going to start in two weeks.
50:13
Chapter 13 is going to talk about how the government serves as a minister of God to do what? To punish the wrongdoers.
50:27
So if vengeance belongs to God.
50:30
And God has abrogated justice to the government.
50:33
And if I seek justice for wrongdoing.
50:37
A rape.
50:39
If I want to see a rapist in prison.
50:41
I am very righteous to seek that.
50:45
Because that is the job of the government.
50:48
They do not bear the sword in vain.
50:52
According to Romans 13.
50:54
And that is not the sword of the marching band.
51:00
It is the sword of justice.
51:04
As such if a person harms me and breaks the law.
51:07
I can desire the legal system to come to my aid.
51:10
However, I am not to take matters into my own hands.
51:15
Likewise, I must consider what type of recourse I am seeking.
51:20
Because Christians are not supposed to seek legal recourse against other Christians.
51:27
Did you know Christians are not supposed to sue Christians? The Bible says.
51:32
Real quick.
51:32
Turn to 1 Corinthians 6.
51:33
Just so you know this and just keep talking.
51:35
Turn to 1 Corinthians 6.
51:36
And I will read to you what the text says.
51:39
About Christians having relationships with other Christians.
51:43
Legal problems.
51:45
1 Corinthians 6.
51:48
Chapter 6.
51:57
Starting in verse 1 it says.
51:59
When one of you has a grievance against another.
52:01
Does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? What is he talking about there? He is saying you are going to go to a judge who is not even a Christian.
52:10
And you are going to ask the judge who is not even a Christian.
52:13
To decide between two Christian people.
52:17
Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world.
52:20
And if the world is to be judged by you.
52:21
Are you incompetent to try trivial cases.
52:24
Do you not know that we are to judge angels.
52:27
How much more then matters pertaining to this life.
52:31
So if you have such cases.
52:33
Why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church.
52:36
I say this to your shame.
52:38
Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers.
52:43
But brother goes to law against brother.
52:45
And that before unbelievers.
52:48
To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you.
52:52
Because it shows you did not have the heart to deal with it yourself.
52:55
You have to go and get a mediator now.
52:57
That is a shame in of itself.
53:00
Why not rather suffer wrong.
53:02
Why not rather be defrauded.
53:05
That is hard sometimes.
53:07
A Christian hurt me.
53:10
And I want him to have to pay.
53:14
I really wish.
53:15
I mean there are stories I could tell on this.
53:18
I know.
53:19
There are stories where we have been hurt.
53:23
And we could have taken legal recourse.
53:26
But instead.
53:27
We let the name of the church.
53:31
Be more important.
53:34
And I know some of you have no idea what I am talking about.
53:36
But Jack and Charlene and a few others know.
53:38
Sometimes it is more important to say.
53:40
You know it will be defrauded.
53:43
For the good sake name of the church.
53:45
That it not be.
53:47
That we not be drugged down.
53:50
And I think that this passage speaks very clearly to that.
53:52
There are times.
53:54
When we will be hurt.
53:56
By people who call themselves Christians.
53:57
But yet.
53:58
And people who are Christians who have done wrong.
54:00
And need to repent.
54:01
And we are to call for their repentance.
54:03
But we are not to call them before an unrighteous judge.
54:06
Or an unlawful judge.
54:07
Or an un-Christian judge.
54:10
But we call them before the judge of the universe.
54:12
And call for their repentance.
54:19
Ultimately.
54:20
Everything is summed up in the last sentence.
54:23
Do not overcome evil with evil.
54:26
But overcome evil with good.
54:31
We are to be known.
54:32
Inside the church.
54:34
And outside the church.
54:35
For doing good.
54:43
The fallen angels did.
54:45
I don't believe.
54:48
I don't believe.
54:50
That angels sin currently.
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That are.
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Righteous angels.
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I believe in the following after Satan.
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That there was a.
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A substantial change.
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In their being.
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And they went from being angels to demons.
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Obviously.
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But I do not think like Gabriel.
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Who is an angel now.
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If he was an angel then he is an angel now.
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I don't think that he sins.
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The same way we will not sin in glory.
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That we when we receive.
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When we are glorified.
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Will not sin.
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Because we will have no desire to do so.
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Remember this folks.
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We don't live in this world alone.
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Sometimes it might feel nice if we actually were alone sometimes.
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But we don't live in this world alone.
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We live in this world.
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And we don't live in this world alone.
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And we don't live in this world just with a relationship.
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Between us and God.
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But we live.
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In the context of.
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Others.
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Other people.
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And we have to consider others.
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More important than ourselves.
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According to the scripture.
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And that's hard sometimes.
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It's difficult many times.
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But the text of scripture clearly says.
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In Philippians chapter 2.
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Do nothing from rivalry or conceit.
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But in humility count others.
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To be more significant.
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Than yourself.
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And I think that sums up.
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Even more concisely.
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What Paul has said in these passages.
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We don't do things from evil.
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We don't do things from anger.
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And even though our flesh wants to.
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We suppress that.
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If there are times.
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When there needs to be legal recourse.
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Because of something so heinous.
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As a rape or a murder.
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Yes the government has a responsibility to do that.
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And that's what we're going to start talking about.
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In chapter 13.
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But in those times.
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Where somebody has just said a word.
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That has cut us to the quick.
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Or they have taken something from us.
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That has stolen our heart.
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Or they have removed from us.
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The ability to trust them.
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Because of their lies.
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We still have a responsibility.
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To love them.
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To feed them.
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To clothe them.
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And to be good to them.
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Sometimes that is very hard.
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But it's why we're different.
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We are called.
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To be different.
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A few years ago.
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An artist made a painting.
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And I rarely.
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I rarely.
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Get.
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Use these types of things.
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But I think sometimes.
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They're good.
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Sometimes they can be a bit.
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Simplistic.
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But sometimes they're good.
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And I think this was always something.
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I thought was very interesting.
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From a Christian perspective.
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We are called.
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To joy.
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We are called to live.
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A joyful Christian life.
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And from the Christian perspective.
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Our priorities are Jesus.
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Others.
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And then yourself.
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Christ is first.
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And we count others.
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As more important than ourselves.
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And this is the secret.
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To lasting joy.
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Father we thank you.
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For this opportunity to learn.
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And to study tonight.
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We thank you for the encouragement.
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Of the word which we've received.
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By reading it together.
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And studying it together.
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We do pray oh Lord.
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That as you take us from this place.
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And you bring us home.
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We pray that you'll keep us safe.
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Bring us back.
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Continue to help us learn.
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And draw closer to your son Jesus.
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And it's in his name we pray.
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Amen.