Where Do We Draw the Line on Gossip? | Season 3 Episode 2

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00:06
Welcome back to the Point Taken Podcast. The only podcast with a 33 % chance to increase the risk of sleep apnea.
00:15
My name is Hunter Wilson. I am your host. Do not fall asleep while watching this podcast.
00:22
To my right is co -host, long time friend, short time pastor,
00:29
Pastor Josiah Shippen. Which is not a comment about my height. What's up everybody? Not at all. Obviously.
00:34
Are you happy to be here? Very happy to be here. That's awesome. And then to my right, of my right, again, joining us in the studio today,
00:44
Cecil Sleepy Knees Shipley. Thank you.
00:49
Thank you for the introduction. The viewers are upset because Anna's not here. They are. Well, we're upset with the viewers. Anna, unfortunately, could not make it today, but she will be here.
00:59
I thought you were just saying you're mad at the viewers. You're upset with the viewers. I'm upset. I can start beef with anybody at any time for any reason, but no,
01:09
I have no issue with the viewers. Today, guys, we're going to be talking about gossip.
01:16
Gossip. What's the line? What's the line with gossip? We'll talk about what is gossip, what constitutes gossip, and when you should just stop it.
01:26
You should just end it. But before we go into that, guys, what is your win of the week?
01:33
What's something you just really did well at this week? I can start because I had a really big day
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Friday. Friday I had a big presentation in front of a whole bunch of people, and I had to present a design
01:51
I've made and have to talk about its pros, its cons, and how
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I'm going to fabricate and make this wind turbine. Nice.
02:03
That went well. It did. It went really well. One of my professors said that he's really expecting me to fail, but he said,
02:11
I really hope you don't, but I really think you're going to fail. I was like, cool, thanks. He said, look,
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I'm looking at your face. The professor of encouragement at the University of Memphis. He's like,
02:22
I've never seen failure in your field. I hope you don't. No, he was really nice about it, but he's like,
02:28
I've never seen someone try this. This is a brand new idea. It looks really awesome. I know of a company, well, used to be a company, that tried something similar, so hopefully.
02:41
I used to know a team of people. He watches this podcast. He's going to comment, yeah, it's still going to fail, but good job, buddy. Good try.
02:47
I know a team of people way better than you. They aren't a team anymore. They're having terrible luck right now, losing their jobs and livelihood and goals in their life.
02:58
That was my win. That was a great win. Good win. What about you, Pastor? Just to be clear, you want me to follow the guy who created a wind turbine, and you want me to tell you -
03:07
With a team. I'm the team leader. Tell you my win of the week. I'm not doing all the work. Every win is something, you know.
03:15
Yes, but they're not all equal. Fact. No. All right, let's see.
03:21
I took my family to Chattanooga, and that was a win, because that was amazing. One of our camera dudes is from Chattanooga.
03:30
His name is Lowell Gorman, ladies and gentlemen. Whoa. Lowell, let's go. Full birth name. I don't know his middle name.
03:40
Chantrell? Okay. Chantrell is from Chattanooga. That was fun.
03:45
Changed my brake pads while I was there. Oh, wow. Yeah. Those mountain roads don't do good for your brakes, by the way.
03:51
Just point that out there. Yeah. Especially if you're scared. If you're scared, it's even worse.
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Like it's a three -mile riding the brakes. Yeah. I will tell you one win.
04:05
I was in all of God's creation this week. On top of that mountain, I'm looking out, and I could count 11 ridges of mountains in this mountain range.
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Like, okay, hill, valley, hill, valley, hill, valley. Got the idea of rolling hills. And there was just enough fog to where it looked like there were kind of blue waves coming in.
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Like, it looked like I was standing on the ocean shore, and these mountain ridges were waves coming towards me.
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Wow. It was spectacular. And you know, that was a view every day.
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So I was very much in all of God's creation this week. That would be my big win. I got to hang out with my family and just enjoy
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God's creation. That would be my win. Yeah, that's a huge win. That's an awesome win. I'd say my win of the week.
05:01
I had the flu all this week. That's an awesome win, buddy. All right, next topic. Congratulations. Well, I don't anymore.
05:08
Yeah. I was like, listen, I'm a guy who enjoys his time to sit and unwind and do all that.
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And I was sitting there, and I realized over the course of this sickness that I am not so much that guy anymore.
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You know what I'm saying? Like, when I had to be there, and I had no choice but to unwind, all
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I wanted was to not unwind. All I wanted was to do things. Yeah. And I just started seeing a bunch of things that needed to be done.
05:37
But I needed to nap when I got up to pee. Yeah. You know. Yeah. After my second video on vacation of watching a doctor remove a cyst from somebody's head.
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Yeah. Yeah. I closed out that. I'm like, all right, it's time to go do something. Let's go change the brake pads, guys. Let's go do something useful.
05:57
You can only take that for so much time. And that used to not be me. I could go, you know, man, if I had a whole week off and nobody needed anything,
06:05
I was like, oh, man, I don't have to see anybody for a week. I can just be like Bob. I'm not that guy.
06:10
But I can take a day where I'm just like, I only see me. But after that day,
06:15
I'd like to see somebody. I'd like to do something. I start feeling useless. Like, yeah, like I was telling a kid at this church at our church about that.
06:26
And I was like, there's no better feeling than going to bed or playing PlayStation, whatever you want to do with a whole day of completed work.
06:34
Yeah. Every task. There's no better feeling in the world. Oh, yeah. So my win was fighting through and then just getting to a spot and then knocking out a whole lot of to do's whilst quarantined in my house.
06:51
Sick. It's good for your headspace, man. When you get some check boxes. Oh, yeah. Huge W. By the way, you know, a pet peeve of mine.
06:58
What's that? When people make those little check boxes on their to do list and then they cross out the whole thing.
07:04
That is the worst. Does everyone know what I'm talking about? Yeah. That is the worst. Absolutely. That is the worst.
07:10
Don't write a check mark. Do it. Do a hyphen. If you're going to cross it, you do hyphen, you know, clean garage.
07:16
Or bullet point. Or bullet point. Anything but making a check box. And then you can make a check or an
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X in it. Either acceptable. What's unacceptable is to not use that box. Cross it out. My wife does it.
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If you do an X, then that's fine. You can cross out the X. You say X, clean the garage. When you're done, you can cross out the whole thing.
07:36
I'm okay with that. Hold on. Hold on. As bullet points go, sometimes when you're making your list, you go, okay, number one.
07:44
And you'll write an X. And they'll do that. I've seen that. And then they'll cross that out. And that does not bother me.
07:50
What's the difference between that and what we were just saying? You make a box and then you don't put anything in it.
07:56
You just cross it out. You're saying there is no box. There is no box. And they just use an X as a bullet point.
08:01
Because we only have so much time, we'll allow it. But we're going to come back to that later. You know what?
08:07
I'm not liking this dynamic. Anna's not here, man. You have no allies. I'm not liking this dynamic.
08:13
I just get turned on all of a sudden. I agree with you, though. Thank you. How do we feel about circles being filled in when it's done?
08:21
That's okay. I can't draw a perfect enough circle. Is this the freaking SATs? Yeah. It's too much work.
08:27
I can't draw a good enough circle to make myself feel good about it. Yeah. On your iPhone, that's how it does it. I'm uncompleted in that.
08:33
Never in a million years would I write a list and do an empty circle and then say, hey,
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I'm done with this task. Let's start a whole new task of filling in these circles. Never in a million years? No.
08:45
The Earth has only been around for approximately 8 ,000. You're saying never in a million years would you ever do that?
08:50
Well, I'd be dead in about 86. You're the one who used it. Wait, you're going to live 86 more years?
08:57
I mean, in total. Like, just a guess, yeah. Yeah, 86, that's a pretty long life. That's a pretty solidly long life.
09:03
I don't know how much longer I'd want to live after 86. Depends on health.
09:14
There you have it. All right, guys, let's go into a little type of game here.
09:24
It's more of a mental exercise, guys. It's a would you rather of sorts.
09:30
However, we're doing it in the form of a draft, okay? And here's how this works. Up on our board, we have a list of three.
09:39
That means you can draft three items. That can be people, places, things. In this case, it's going to be thing.
09:46
You can draft three items. If Jeff drafts an item, I am not allowed to draft it. Because he already drafted it, okay?
09:52
We have three rounds. First round, second round, third round. Understand? I have no idea if this is mine.
09:58
We're just going to keep going. We're just going to keep going. It's never stopped you in the past. Pieces of furniture of any type.
10:08
If you could only pick three to have and to use for the rest of your life. That means you go into a public spot and they don't have this piece of furniture.
10:17
You're not allowed to use any other type of furniture at all in any capacity. Three pieces of furniture that you are only allowed to use for the rest of your life.
10:28
And if you don't have these three, you don't have this piece of furniture, period. You don't have it, period. And you do not have access to use it anywhere, any place, any time.
10:36
Here's the problem. I already know my three, but one of y 'all are going to steal one of them. It's very possible. Here's what we're going to do.
10:41
We're going to let him go first. So, sleepy knees. And then we'll come around this way.
10:48
Why am I sleepy knees? This is how I view you. Okay, I'm ready.
10:55
Sleepy knees. Okay, let me get up. Let me write down your answer. How specific is the item?
11:01
It just depends on how specific you, as a person, want to be. Alright, for example, can we use one?
11:11
I might ruin it. No, you're not going to ruin it. It's going to ruin it. Let's not, let's not. If you don't go specific and you just say, you know, chair.
11:20
That's cheating. I'm going to mean a regular, just a regular basic chair.
11:27
I'm not counting this. I'm not counting a recliner. Yeah, got it. Okay. Okay, thanks. Now, of course, there are ways around that system, but you'd have to figure it out.
11:34
Okay. Jeff, what is your first round draft pick? I'm really stuck in between two.
11:43
I'm going to say bed. Well, see, you really ruined it for everybody.
11:50
That was the correct choice. There's not really correct choices in this game.
11:56
So, now I can't have a bed. That's a fact. That's correct. There is no bed.
12:02
I've got mine. I've got mine. Can I go? Please do.
12:08
Pull out couch. Got them. Okay, hold on. A pull out couch.
12:14
So I get the couch. I'll allow it. I'll allow it. I'll allow it, but I will judge you very hard.
12:20
I'm judging you very hard. You have to use that mattress on it. You have to use the mattress on it.
12:25
Otherwise, I can't have a bed because you already sold it. Okay, here's what I'm going to say about the pull out couch. You already wrote it.
12:32
Yes, there is no takesies -backsies. Yeah, okay. That was a terrible answer. Yeah, and I preface that because I disagree with the answer so strongly.
12:40
I have a couch and a bed now. Yeah, but you think about quality. Yeah, but they're mid on both.
12:46
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. A pull out couch is already usually. I'm even getting judged by the camera people.
12:51
80 % of the time, it's going to be uncomfortable. But then when you pull it out and you lay on the bed. All right, give your answer.
12:56
No chance. Give your answer. I hope you love tattoos of metal springs on your back. There was not a limit of mattress toppers.
13:09
Those cushion things, I've got a plan. Go. Okay, if you all want to talk about controversy, contrivacy.
13:17
You better not take my next one. There's no chance this is going to be on your list because I think you're going to hate this.
13:23
Day bed is the same as mine. Yeah, it has the word in it. Okay, first of all. It has the word in it.
13:29
Why are you thinking I'm going to say day bed? I've never even said anything like that. I don't even know what that is. You're lucky that I even know what that is.
13:34
I don't. Here's what I'm going to say. It's at rich people's houses. I'm going to say extra large bean bag.
13:44
Extra large bean bag. He is still 15, ladies and gentlemen. He is still 15 years old.
13:49
I want everybody to understand that bed has been taken. Pull out couch is taken, though I skipped pull out couch completely.
13:56
If I want something that is actually usable for multiple types of things, lounging.
14:07
Yes. Sitting down with friends. Yes. Laying down and going to sleep.
14:13
Yes. No. Yes. No chance. What type? No, y 'all aren't picturing the right thing.
14:19
You have gone to sleep. You've gone to sleep like an eight hour sleep in a bean bag before. Yes. He's a child.
14:24
It's been in your old house. And there are ones that are even bigger than the one
14:31
I had. The one I had was atrocious. It was just lay and it was so comfy.
14:37
But there are bigger ones. The bean bag you had my children. My children would have been lost. That's what
14:43
I'm saying. And there are bigger ones and softer ones and fluffier ones that if I was not broke and this does not have a momentary thing.
14:50
How can a bean bag be fluffy? Can I say this? Y 'all put me in a tough bind because of your terrible selections.
14:58
I still have two really good options. Don't take mine. I had a secure sleeping spot for my first round.
15:05
We go back this way now. It's my turn. No. It's the thing where we go like a fantasy draft.
15:10
Okay. Hold on. Hold on. I have a way to dissuade this. We're going to let our crew vote for the first and second best picks.
15:23
First and second best picks. It's Lowell, Taylor, and Dalton. All right. Come on. All right.
15:29
First and second best picks. Who was it? Who has the best pick?
15:34
Who had the best pick? We got to have round two first. He got to go first. He's pointing at me.
15:41
Me and Jeff. Yeah. It sounds like me and Pastor Josiah had the best pick. So we should go first.
15:46
Not even close. All right. Okay. Okay. Okay. Lowell. You had the obvious.
15:52
Beanbag or pull out the couch. Yes. Thank you,
15:58
Lowell. He's from Chattanooga where I was at last week. Everybody. All right. Well, how about this?
16:04
Since Cecil Sleepy Knees obviously had the advantage with going first, he can go last on the second round and first on the third round.
16:14
All right. Let's do it. Exactly. You go again, and then I go. That's how this works. Let's go. Okay. Okay.
16:19
Okay. Okay. Do not take what's in my mind right now. Okay. I'm going to say. Quit reading it.
16:25
Table. That's actually a fair. All right. Wait a minute.
16:30
Now I can't have a table? Yes. That's what I'm saying. I have four people in my family.
16:37
What do you want me to do? I've got a beanbag and a table. All right. Give me my recliner.
16:42
Give me my recliner. Recliner. He says recliner. Both of my options are still available.
16:48
What are you all doing? Actually, I didn't think a table. Well, now I'm living it up. I mean, you're not setting anything down.
16:54
I know what you're not doing. I'm not there yet. Give me a second. Okay. I had to secure a place to sleep that I was going to enjoy.
17:02
I've already got that. Dogs, spouses, beanbag will not leave your back.
17:08
You're telling me you and your spouse are going to sleep on a beanbag? An extra large giant beanbag.
17:14
What part of this are you not understanding? Right. Right. Right. I can't have a bed. Are we recording this?
17:21
We're asking her. You're going to be put to shame if you ask.
17:27
He gets to go twice. No, no. He only gets to go twice. He's going to go twice in a row, yeah. Okay. That works wonderfully for me.
17:34
So, I think. Yeah. Tell us what you think. Yeah. Can I just re -clarify?
17:41
Yeah. This is everywhere. You're not just for your house. I mean, you can't use these things.
17:49
Yeah. You said. I've already got my next answer. Okay. Do not take it.
17:54
It's mine. You better say TV tray. He said.
18:00
I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about it. He said, I've got my other two. He has two guesses, and he's being solid.
18:06
You know why? No. Because he's a liar. No. Because he has to think about it. Table threw me through a loop. Table was solid.
18:12
It took me a second. Now, table is genius. It's made of wood. Good one. I'm going to go number two, standard chair.
18:23
The standard chair. Standard chair. What a good. Now, I'm going to write standard chair.
18:29
I got to be fair. I got to be fair and say standard chair, because then I can sit at anyone else's. I can sit anywhere else.
18:36
We don't need. And then for third, comfort, everyday living, sectional couch.
18:42
Sectional couch. Okay. Have fun entertaining guest losers. I have a couch.
18:49
I have a couch. You have six pull -out couches at your house.
18:54
I'm ready. You ready? You ready? What's up? Here's my problem. Can I think through my thing out loud?
19:01
You're killing it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, here's the problem. There's two things
19:08
I need, so we need to make two of these into one. Sure. I need a desk and a computer chair, so let's figure out how to make this work.
19:15
Okay, okay, okay, okay. No chance should you be prioritizing desk and computer chair.
19:20
I got it. I got the fix for you. You have a pull -out couch and a recliner. That's the only thing you can ever use. No, no. I got a fix for you. Wait, wait, wait.
19:26
I have a fix. I think I've got it. I think I've got it. I'm willing to give it to you. Come here. Whisper it in my ear.
19:33
Standing desk. All right. I've thought about that, but here's the problem.
19:39
If I have a standing... He said, whisper it to me. Yeah. Standing desk.
19:47
Mute his headphones for a moment. All right. They're muted for sure. Yeah. You can't say, yep, because I showed them.
19:53
I didn't hear you. Beep, beep, beep. All right. This is tough. All right. Let's do...
19:59
I've got a pull -out couch. I can sleep. I can relax. Okay. I've got my recliner. That's mine. Okay.
20:04
So, I need somewhere to put my food. We either need a TV tray. I mean, you need somewhere when you go to church.
20:12
Like, if you're not preaching, you need something. Have fun sitting on the tile. Yeah. You're sleeping on the floor. I'll have a recliner there.
20:18
Oh, shoot. It's going to be up on stage. It's going to be one of those... In my spot, man.
20:24
I've got my recliner. But, man, I work in my office. This is not good.
20:30
All right. I have a recliner in my office. That's good. I'm just going to have bean bags everywhere. Man, people are going to love counseling.
20:37
Yeah. You all got recliners, guys. That's what I'm saying. All right. Let's go ahead and knock out desk.
20:44
Desk. Now, I do have a table. The recliner is pulled up to the desk. The recliner is... I do have a table. So, Kent, let's go to the board and say, is desk a table?
20:54
It's all about intent. It's all about intent. Is that really what we're doing right now? What? Are you being serious?
21:00
It's a question that needs to be asked. All right. He took sectional couch.
21:07
It has the word couch in it. That's also very true. But you also went pull -out couch instead of just saying couch.
21:16
I was first. And you just said couch. No, you weren't. No, as far as the couches go.
21:22
As far as the couches go. Yeah, but you went... Pull -out couch is a bed. You went specific, which means that the genre was still on the table.
21:29
Exactly. Like, Cecil said bed. It wasn't on the table because table's taken. Correct. Sleepy Knees took bed just, like, right off the bat.
21:38
That's because you let him go first. Yeah, so, like, pull -out couch was already a given. Desk counts.
21:43
You're not letting me have desk. Okay. Desk counts. If you say desk counts... Desk counts. Now, it will be a little uncomfortable with my recliner scooting up to my desk because it will be kind of hard.
21:52
Drop it in the comments. Is desk a table? He did it. He just... No, that's not the question.
21:58
Of course it's a table, but it's a different... It's all about intent. From the mouth to babes. It's all about intent.
22:06
It's all about intent. He just answered everything about gossip. That's literally what I was going to pull from, yeah. Okay. So, now,
22:13
I'm literally... You lost. I'm set on placing things... You're done. I'm set on sleeping and sitting.
22:19
You have a beanbag and a table, and you think you're sleeping in a beanbag tonight. I don't need anything else. Have fun with your yoga ball at your table. I quite honestly don't need anything else, but I...
22:27
So, literally... I don't need to be... Here's what I'm saying. Tell me right now how you're going to get a computer and work at a beanbag, which is this low to the ground.
22:36
Easily. Easily. Laptop. First of all, laptop. But I'm saying...
22:42
You're saying... You keep picturing these little, tight beanbags that display the colors and stuff.
22:49
I'm talking about the little beanbags. I'm talking about big, fluffy mattress material inside of a bag.
22:58
All right. Let me change my answer then. When I say pull -out couch, what I really mean is 1 ,700 square feet of...
23:06
Okay, here. Let me erase desk, because... What are we talking about? Continue, continue. Okay.
23:11
Put yours down. You're going to get third place anyway. We'll let the people decide that.
23:17
They're going to pick you as last. I'm going to have a functional -looking house. You got handed... I have a functional -looking house.
23:23
You got handed this like you get handed everything in your entire life, windmill boy. All right. Windmill.
23:30
It's a wind turbine. My house is fine. Hunter's house is going to look like 13 -year -olds live there.
23:36
My house is going to have an Asian feng shui. And I really need to lean into it, but I just don't...
23:43
Hey, take your hand, put it up there by the three, and use it to write letters to give your answer.
23:50
Okay. I am going to say my final piece of furniture...
23:55
Oh, he made it a different color. Yeah. I sure hope that you enjoyed that. My final piece of furniture is going to have to be...
24:04
You took a standard chair. I was fair. I think I'm just going to take a standard couch.
24:12
Fight me. Wait a minute. Fight me. Fight me. Because he used the word sectional, you can now use the word couch.
24:19
I can now use a regular three -seater couch. I will allow loveseat.
24:25
In fact... I will allow loveseat. In fact, I could even say... Point not taken. ...reclining couch.
24:31
No. Like these right here. But I'm not going to say that. This is not a reclining couch.
24:37
This is a loveseat. This is not a... Camera crew. Reclining loveseat? That's a loveseat, right? No, a loveseat does not have a bridge in the middle.
24:43
I'll give you the microphone. Loveseats don't have a bridge in the middle because the entire part... How are you going to have any love with separation?
24:51
Loveseat is being crushed together. Wait a minute. Question. Question. Question. Scoot over. Does this mean that inside your car are beanbags instead of chairs?
25:00
No. The car seats? The cars are the one spot. We didn't think about car seats. We all can't drive.
25:07
No, no. We can't sit in buses, trains. Cars are outside of this. Cars are outside of this. I mean just when you get to a destination.
25:14
That's true. Your car seats... This is a recliner. So you know what? For the rest of this podcast, you can't sit down. No, because I have couch.
25:24
Bro. Bro. Because any time but right now... I'm with Josiah. Any time but right now, we've spoken about this and these have been couches.
25:31
Like, hey, did you get those couches up into the podcast room? Tell me that's not the truth. Tell me that that has not been you.
25:38
Oh my God. Sleepy knees. I don't know. These are recliners. Sleepy knees. Work with me. These are reclining couches.
25:44
Reclining loveseats. Taylor, is this a couch or a recliner? Reclining loveseat. I'm feeling like our issues are being aired to people that have nothing to do with them.
25:54
We're gossiping. Gossip. I don't know, but after this thing of gossip,
26:00
I'm going to talk about you behind your back. I'm the clear winner. The clear winner. I'll have a functional house.
26:06
You were handed it. I have a couch, a bed, a recliner, and a desk. I have four things in three. You happened to be handed the easiest, best position.
26:17
You chose him to go first. Because he's a guest. So Anna's not here.
26:23
Anna's not here, so we have a guest. But he's been here both weeks. Anna's been once, and I've been once. Sleepy knees.
26:30
That's just how he's going to look branded on his back. He's going to have rings all over him. I've slept on pool couches many times, and I feel fine.
26:37
I'm not going to look like you fell into a chain link fence. Every night, all the time. You know that the springs like this? It's going to look like you fell into a chain link fence.
26:43
You know where those little mattress topper things are? The three inches of foam you put down? Yeah. I'll be fine.
26:48
Yeah, but you won't be able to use that because that's not on your list. That's not furniture.
26:55
It's a bed. Foam is not furniture. Honestly, do you know what we're really forgetting? Bedside tables. Coffee tables.
27:00
I'm sorry. I already said table. No. No. I said table. No. No. Absolutely not.
27:07
I refuse. If you will direct your attention to Hunter's list number two, item number two, that says table.
27:16
Absolutely not. If there's several different couches, there's several different tables. You have a standard table.
27:21
If we continue with this madness. You have a standard table. You get one in your dining room, and you're done.
27:27
One in your dining room. I can use any table. Okay. You are changing the rules.
27:33
No. I'm saying. I'm literally going to gossip about you to Anna. I'm going to call her. Because you did not put down table, when you go out places, you would not be able to use a table.
27:42
Dalton's getting a close -up on Jess' face just to make sure that he's still awake after listening to the garbage gossip.
27:50
Check his knees. Check his knees. Gossip. Sleepy knees. Yep. Let's talk about gossip, guys. After that clear victory.
27:58
Look, we agree on one thing. There was a clear victory. It wasn't you. Anyway. That's wrong.
28:05
We'll let the comments decide. Gossip. Gossip. All right.
28:10
First of all, let's talk about what gossip is. What constitutes gossip versus.
28:18
Here's here's where it gets tricky for most people. All right. Not to say it's really tricky, but here's where it gets tricky for most people.
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Is that when is the line between hey, this needs to be brought to a party that is not me.
28:33
Right. I have the information. The party that needs the information does not have the information. Yet this does not pertain to me.
28:40
When does it cross the line from relaying information to gossiping?
28:53
I think what Jeff said earlier about intent is a big part of it.
29:00
You know, there are people like me who like the world to be in black and white, unfortunately sometimes the world doesn't work that way.
29:12
Intent has to be a major factor in it. What is the intent of sharing that information?
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Is it to slander? Is it to humiliate?
29:26
Is it to prop oneself up? Is it to gain favor? Is it for some ulterior motive? Or is it for the benefit, the building up, the edification, the encouragement of somebody else?
29:39
That's a very broad answer, but that would be my answer to that. Any thoughts?
29:49
I always lean towards, I'm a private person, so I really dislike any information dispensing about me that I didn't dispense to the person specifically.
30:02
Of course, as the pastor just said, that's a very black and white view of it, and a lot of issues fall in between that.
30:13
But yeah, basically in agreeance of, you should know if you're a
30:21
Christian, you should have the sense of, why am
30:27
I doing this? And if you don't ask yourself that before you say that, why do
30:33
I want to tell this person? Because I think some people fall into the trap of wanting to be interesting.
30:41
Not even intent to be harmful or to hurt them, but an intent to be exciting or wanting to be...
30:52
Captivating. Captivating is the word I'm looking for right there, that's beautiful. I think that's a problem with a lot of people, is they may not even want to be malice, but they want to be liked.
31:05
And that's their downfall in that. It's like, oh hey, I have some exciting new information.
31:11
Right. Sorry. Yeah, I think there's something you've got to also take into consideration, because you can have all of the best intent, and you can check your heart and you can say, yeah, this is not my business, but I have the information that this other person needs, because it is their business, but it does not pertain to me.
31:33
You decide, okay, let's relay the information. But I think the most important part is, relay the information, then shut up.
31:41
Because if you relay the information, and then you keep relaying the information, and you keep pounding on, even if it's the exact same person, there is a line,
31:52
I believe, where it switches from giving information to gossiping.
31:58
Because you have switched up, even if your intent originally was, this is the thing
32:06
I'm trying to go for. Hey, I'm just trying to give this information to you, just trying to relay this.
32:12
But if you keep on, and you're constantly talking about it, the line that I always see is, you know what really bothers me about it, is that, that's usually for me, when
32:21
I realize, oops, that's about to be gossip, that's about to be gossip, because it's switched from, hey, this is what happened,
32:27
I'm letting you know, so that you can handle it, or so that you can know that this is being done, to, yeah, let me tell you about my feelings, and let me try and get you to feel the way that I'm feeling about this person, or about this issue.
32:44
My mom, a few years ago, I heard her say something that I have never forgotten.
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She said, all right, before I say something, I ask myself three questions. Does it need to be said, does it need to be said by me, and does it need to be said right now?
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And if you don't get a yes from all three, you shut up. So does it need to be said? Sometimes that filters it out right then.
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Does it need to be said by me? That often filters it out too. And does it need to be said right this second?
33:17
If you get yeses on all three of those, then you have a starting point. If not, shut up.
33:24
Very true. Easiest, quickest rules right there, and I couldn't agree more. When it comes to dispensing information to people,
33:33
I have found that a lot of times I'm just not the person that should say it, you know?
33:41
And the gray area, I think the gray area for a lot of people is this.
33:48
Let's say I'm trying to do the right thing. Let's say I'm trying to follow the rules that Pastor Josiah just said, but the person who should say it doesn't want to or is too scared or doesn't know that they should say it or doesn't have the information that they need.
34:05
So that's, I think, the gray area. It's okay, it needs to be said now.
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It needs to be said. I'm not the person. The person who's supposed to isn't saying it.
34:18
That is the scenario, at least in the church, for the reason that God made pastors.
34:24
That's when you go tell the shepherd and he goes and has to do that if the person who needs to say it.
34:32
And of course, you know, there are common sense, what should be common sense, exceptions to all rules of confidentiality, for example.
34:48
If someone's life is in danger, all bets are off. Like that kind of stuff, right? But yeah, that would be an area, it's like, all right, that guy needs to go tell that guy how he's feeling.
35:03
That guy is unwilling to do that. So now, where do we go from here?
35:09
And in the context of the church, I think that's why God made pastors. What's hardest about that is when you're not in the context of church.
35:18
And it's like, all right, so now what do I do? How do I carry myself in a God -like manner, knowing this issue exists and someone's not willing to fix it?
35:30
And I think that's where it comes in. And this is the advice that I always give, because the one thing is, the
35:37
Bible does not call for us to be okay with peace. The Bible calls for us to pursue it. It's not just like, man,
35:45
I'd rather it be this way, or man, here, let me try and make peace, and then it doesn't happen, and just be chill.
35:53
Pursuing is chasing down with fervor, is chasing down with purpose.
36:00
And so, you have that issue with somebody outside of the context of the church.
36:06
You go to them, no, I don't want to shake that beef, okay, fine, I'm going to bring somebody in, and we're going to talk to them.
36:14
Even outside of the church, I'm still going to be following Matthew the best I can. I'm going to go one -on -one,
36:20
I'm going to go find a mediator, and if that does not work, what are then my options? That is where it stops being black and white, here's exactly what you do at this time and this moment.
36:33
We have to glean from the instructions that God gave us, and the wisdom that He gave us, and say, what is it am
36:42
I to do after that? And the big thing that I always tell people, is you need to do what you have to, in order for when you go to bed at night, and you look back on your day, and you look back on the choices that you made, can you say,
36:58
I did everything that I could, and everything that I should have done today? Like I was in the right today,
37:06
I was like, I don't care what it is, you do what you have to do, where you can look back and say,
37:12
I did not skip steps. I did not cut corners,
37:18
I did not choose the easy route, I did not choose the wrong thing to do.
37:25
And so if you can pursue that peace to an extent, where you can go to bed at peace knowing, you know what, not in a bitter way, of just like, well, did my part, but in a way of,
37:38
I legitimately, with my heart, tried. And I think that's key there, because some people think that peace means the absence of conflict or confrontation, which is not true.
37:52
Correct. So when the Bible, as Hunter said, when the Bible speaks about us pursuing peace, that's godly peace, sometimes that comes with confrontation, but as the word of God says, the wounds of a friend,
38:07
I'm going to mess it up a little bit, the wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are harmful.
38:15
You know, there are times where peace only comes about with a confrontation. Isn't that a beautiful passage?
38:22
I had to look it up earlier, it's Proverbs 27, but you know that gray area, that's why
38:34
I go back to intentions in my heart, because this is how important that is. Gossip is not something that God's just simply,
38:43
I prefer you not to, the Bible says he hates, hates gossip.
38:50
Hates it. I always laugh when people say, oh, you shouldn't hate, actually there are some things you're commanded to hate.
39:01
So if you've been taught, by the way, never to hate, there are certain commands of God that you will not be able to obey.
39:07
Right. It's the passiveness, it's the castration of the modern day
39:14
Christian, where you are not allowed to feel strongly. What does Votie Bauckham say, the 11 commandments, number 11 is thou shalt be nice and the other 10 don't matter.
39:25
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Thou shalt not hurt other people's feelings, the rest do not matter. Other gods, you know, murder, those are, yeah, those are okay.
39:34
Yeah, I think sometimes we get caught in the fallacy and of the idea that, well, because I don't want to look like them, the people that stand on the street,
39:45
God hates you, you know, like you're going to hell and it's like, no, we don't want to look like them.
39:51
But to the point where we stop following the letter of the law, where we stop following exactly what the
39:58
Bible says and we start going into more of a religious practice of where it's more like tolerance,
40:05
I don't accept it, you know what I'm saying, like I'm not agreeing with it, but I'm not hating,
40:11
I don't hate, you know, these things, it's like, well, it's not exactly what we're called to be doing.
40:17
And something that pastor said this morning in service, he said about a
40:24
Christian letting, standing tall and letting the world crash against them.
40:31
Yeah. And that was something that really stood out to me because it was like, instead of rocking with it, you're still standing, but you're still letting the waves push you back, forth, back, forth.
40:45
They know you're there. They might know that you're a Christian. They might know that you stand for something that they don't.
40:51
You're not following the wave all the way, but you're just going a little bit forward, a little bit back. But sitting there and letting the world crash against you, you know, actually making that stand that comes with that charge and that confidence to say, no,
41:10
I do not like that. No, I hate that. I stand very firmly for the love of Christ, very firmly for his, you know, the things that he loves and the things that he hates.
41:23
Yeah. You know, the old, the old way of saying it, the way you just described it is, if Christianity in every sense became illegal tomorrow, would there be enough evidence to try you?
41:39
Man, yeah. Right. That, but, yeah, that stuck out to me this morning too. You should be so not of the ways of this world that it should feel like they're hitting a brick wall.
41:50
Yeah. You know, salt and light, as Jesus says in Matthew, we're a city on a hill.
41:56
You stand out so much, it's like a city that's on a hill. That analogy to me always sticks with me.
42:04
If you're ever driving down interstate 78 and you're driving towards Birmingham, you're driving through the top part of Mississippi and the top part of Alabama and there's nothing.
42:15
And then, you know, we're just talking about Birmingham, not exactly a metropolis, but there's nothing on interstate 78 and you come around this curve and you go down this really steep hill and you come up and then you see
42:28
Birmingham and it may as well be New York City. I mean, it's just lit up. I remember when I first saw that, I thought of city on a hill, right?
42:36
But going back to gossip, what we say continually in every list of scripture, whether it's a list of sins or a list of obedience, what we say, what comes out of our mouth is always prominent.
42:54
In the list of things God hates, lying, a lying tongue I should say, gossip, repeatedly what we say is primary.
43:08
And I think the reason why, and this is probably maybe the best answer to gossip
43:16
I can think of, is what Jesus said in Matthew 7, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
43:26
Just think about that sentence for a minute. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. We often say, sometimes jokingly, well sometimes
43:35
I just don't have a filter between here and here, between my brain and my mouth. Jesus is more concerned with the filter between your heart and your mouth, but he says, out of the overflow of your heart the mouth speaks.
43:46
So whatever you're filling up that heart with, it will come out of your mouth. So the question then becomes, what are we filling that heart with?
43:54
Because whatever we're filling that heart with will come out in the way we speak. You know,
44:03
I notice a difference when I start my day with God and when I don't.
44:13
Last one on this point. I was listening to a faithful pastor the other day on YouTube, I think it was.
44:23
And this was admirable, this shows how consistent living he is doing. He says, if I don't read my
44:29
Bible for a day, I can tell a difference. If I don't read it for three days, my wife can tell a difference.
44:35
And if I don't read it for a week, everybody can tell a difference. Out of the overflow of your heart, the mouth speaks.
44:44
So when we come back to intent in gossip, it's not just what's the intentions for that, it's more about what intentions you have stems from what you're filling your heart with.
45:00
So that's really how important it is to have our heart filled with whatever's true, lovely, pure, fellowship of other believers, those type things.
45:11
Because whatever your heart's filling up with, that's what's going to come out of your mouth. And that's so, that's really profound because going to what, you know, he was talking about earlier, that it might not be malicious, but it's just a desire to be interesting.
45:28
Yeah. In that case, it seems really innocent. But if you put it into that perspective of out of the overflow of the heart, speaks the mouth, what are you feeling in your heart?
45:39
Is it your insecurity? Is it your pride? Is it, you know, it's not necessarily bitterness or judgment that you're filling your heart with, ready to latch on to somebody else.
45:51
But it might be bitterness or judgment towards yourself that you're filling your heart with, ready to overflow and overshare just to try and make yourself look a little bit more appealing.
46:02
I thought that was a pretty, I think that's pretty interesting. 100%.
46:10
And kind of like as a last thought, according to, like for me, when it comes to a point that Pastor Josiah said, and it was kind of my thought when
46:28
I was saying earlier about if the person doesn't want to speak, who's supposed to, it will always stem back to leadership.
46:37
If you have the proper leadership and the proper mature
46:42
Christians above you, you always have an outlet and you always have someone to fall back on who can handle it well, who can resolve it, and who can, who has already established, um, not order, but expectancy of what is right, what a
47:10
Christian should be. So it always gives you, like, proper leadership is, I think, a big factor we haven't talked about.
47:17
But that is a big difference, I think, in the gospel issue, that gossip issue.
47:25
Gossip, yeah. Yeah, is having good leadership already instilled. Without a doubt.
47:33
And just a word, if you have failed in that area before, which I know for a fact
47:39
I have, if you've failed in that area before, let me encourage you with this.
47:44
There is a man in my accountability group here at church who failed in that area of gossiping two or three weeks ago.
47:53
And he did what those of us should do if we're not cowards when you catch yourself doing that.
47:59
You go back to the person, not that you gossip about, but you gossip to, and you say, hey, I was out of line.
48:06
I shouldn't have said that. I won't be talking that way about person X anymore. And he told me that opened up an opportunity for him to share the gospel with that guy, because the other guy had never heard anyone do that before.
48:29
So, as with everything, even with our errors, God's grace gives it ability to mean that, to intend that for good.
48:41
So, let that be an encouragement to you that you can make that right and have a testimony about it.
48:52
Absolutely. Yeah. On the same idea, I had a co -worker at my last job ask me a similar question, but about cursing.
49:03
He asked me why I don't curse, and everyone else there did.
49:09
And I said, there's two real reasons why I don't curse. And it's the exact same example as that accountability partner.
49:17
I said, one, I'm commanded not to. And I said, two, I asked him to answer honestly.
49:25
If I did curse, would you take me trying to share you what I believe, like, with a little bit of grain of salt?
49:32
Like, would it put a damper on me trying to share the gospel with you? And he was like, yeah, actually, absolutely, it would.
49:40
I said, boom. I said, that's, then I can't do it. Yeah, that's my goal.
49:47
And he knew that, and I was like, that's my goal. So if I'm told not to, and my job would then become less fruitful, because I did it, and how can
49:57
I even entertain the thought? The light gets a little bit dimmer. They start not being able to see you very clearly.
50:06
Exactly. Well, guys, that's all that we have today on gossip. If you have any questions, if you have anything that we didn't cover, any topics, any branches off of this discussion that you would like us to talk about, email us at listenpointtaken at gmail .com.
50:23
You can always leave a comment on this YouTube video. We're also on Instagram, Point Taken Christian Podcast.
50:31
On our game, I just want to go ahead and say bean bag can be used as a chair. You can fold it to be set upright.
50:39
I'm a little. And you can also use it as a bed. So I'm a little going to be a little uncomfortable pulling my recliner up to my desk to get my work done.
50:48
That is going to be a little uncomfortable. I would how the desk to the recliner. However, however, your bean bag.
51:00
Look at that for a minute. Bean bag table, and then you cheated by saying couch. What do you intend on sleeping on the bean bag or the couch?
51:07
Yes. Can I say couch is an illegal draft either way?
51:14
It goes first place, second place. You see, I have I have two children. I was also your last by far.
51:20
It's not even close. Yeah, you came up with the game and you lost. I know. Honestly, I didn't want to think about it before.
51:27
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have children have an Avon and they think I only have one bean bag of one size of one singular.
51:34
You said singular. Yeah, singular bean bag. OK, recliner. Let's argue about that singular plural.
51:41
All right, y 'all. Y 'all have lost the entire point of the bow and I. Yeah, that's right.
51:47
This is they've lost the point of the game. Guys, if you realize that they don't understand in the comments, put it in the comments.
51:54
I'm not afraid of this. Put in the comments. Don't gossip about it out in the open. Put it in the comments. Hashtag sleepy knees.
52:01
Hunter wins the game. No, no questions. Any issues? Drop them in the comments.
52:08
until then. Deuces. Deuces.