To Marry Or Remain Single (Part 1)

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Thanks for tuning in to No Compromise Radio with pastor and author, Dr. Mike Avendrock. Today on No Compromise Radio, we'll be hearing

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Pastor Mike open the Word of God in a recent message he preached at Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston, Massachusetts.

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Now let's join Pastor Mike in progress as he preaches through the Scriptures verse by verse with No Compromise.

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As we're all prone to exaggerate, can you over exaggerate how much

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God has done for you in Christ Jesus? We love to brag and we love,

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I was surfing with Luke yesterday, I don't get up that much but when I do get up I have to brag about it and exaggerate.

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But you know, you say, oh yeah, I caught that one wave and it was like a 10 foot face and down I went over and I shredded

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Luke just before I ran over him, I turned and, but I didn't do any of that, I just was

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Nebraska man surfing. And then you see a fish that's dead, yeah that fish was like 4 feet long, it was dead over there and it's really, you know, a little minnow.

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We just exaggerate but you know, interestingly, in 1 Corinthians chapter 1, Paul says, you've got to boast in the

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Lord, let the boasting one boast in the Lord. Can you say more about God in some kind of, can you exaggerate about God and who you were and yet what he's done for you?

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Who could over exaggerate that? I think about Paul with the people at Corinth, if you just step back for a minute and say, before time began,

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God said, I'm going to plant a church in Corinth and I'm going to pick some of those people and elect them to myself.

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And then in time I'll have my son go and die for those people and then

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I'll send some missionaries like Paul and others to go there to preach and then the

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Spirit of God would superintend the word and save them. And at Corinth, of all places, before I came out here, one man said to me, you know, we'd like to plant a church in Las Vegas, that would be a great place for a church.

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It's kind of like the Las Vegas of the Mediterranean, here's Corinth, yet God planted a church there so people would be redeemed and then they would all boast,

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Jesus Christ is a great God. Let the boasting one have no boast before the Lord but of the

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Lord. And then that boasting takes a manifestation, not just in we praise you God, but in light of what you've done for us, we want to hear your word and obey your word.

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Turn with me if you would, to Luke chapter 10, as we're going to get into 1 Corinthians 7, but in a circuitous fashion, back to 1

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Corinthians through Luke 10. And today we're going to learn a wonderful lesson and that lesson is this, some good things aren't necessarily the best things.

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Make sure you don't substitute good in your life when you could have the best, setting priorities.

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And so we're going to look at this passage in 1 Corinthians 7 momentarily, but I want to first take you to Luke chapter 10 to a passage that you're going to say, oh yeah,

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I know this. That's one of my favorite things in life to do is to teach, I know this passage in such a way where you say,

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I didn't know it, I had no idea. Is that whole Mary Martha deal? You know, we all know that Martha, Martha, but let's just stop for a second and you'll find out soon enough that this is related to 1

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Corinthians chapter 7. Oh, I'll tell you, it's got some similar words and similar themes, both in Luke 10 and in 1

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Corinthians chapter 7, the good isn't necessarily the best. So Luke 10 38, now we're going to dive in here, but you're going to quickly see that the issue is not where exactly they're going.

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The event isn't the important thing, a locale. It's what's happening at the locale. You're going to quickly see a lot of people involved, but the spotlight just spotlights right on Jesus.

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It's like everybody else turns to black and white, some kind of monochromic, and then Jesus is highlighted.

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You're going to watch this and just think, this is amazing. Just with words, Jesus's words, the spirit of God's words,

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Luke 10 38. Now as they went on their way,

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Jesus entered a village, a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house.

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So they were on the way, but Jesus is the focus. We don't have to necessarily know what city we're at because we want to see what's going on.

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Now if you're a good Bible student and you'd like to understand what the passage says, you should always think of context. What is going on just before this?

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And everybody who looked is cheating, but I'm glad you've got your Bibles there. I love it that you bring your

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Bibles to church. And for those of you that bring electronic Bibles, shame on you. But those that bring real

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Bibles, no, I'm just glad you bring your Bibles. I feel so bad now every time

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I'm talking to someone and I say to myself, I'm going to look up a Bible verse, I have to tell them I'm not getting my mail.

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I'm not on ESPN. I'm looking up my Bible. Context means everything.

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What's the context just before this? If you don't get the passage earlier, you don't get Mary and Martha. The context is the

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Good Samaritan. Let me read you the context and I'm going to ask you as I read it, how are these two connected?

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They are purposely related. One follows the other. It's not even chronological in Luke many times.

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It's thematic. Why do we have the Good Samaritan here and then Mary and Martha here?

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There's a reason. Can you catch it? Luke 10 29, but he desiring to justify himself said to Jesus, and who's my neighbor?

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Jesus replied, a man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho and he fell among robbers, stripped him, beat him and departed, leaving him half dead.

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Now by chance, a priest was going down that road and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.

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So likewise, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him pass by on the other side.

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But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was and when he saw him, he had compassion.

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He went to him, bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine and he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.

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And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper saying, take care of him and whatever more you spend,

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I will repay you when I come back. Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?

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Then he said, the one who showed mercy and Jesus said to him, you go and do likewise.

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Now Mary and Martha, how are they related? What's going on? I'll give you the answer by defining hospitality.

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Hospitality defined, kindness in welcoming strangers are guests. Kindness in welcoming strangers are guests.

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We go from one example where hospitality on the road is shown and now to an example in Luke chapter 10 where hospitality should not be shown as a top priority.

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There's something better than hospitality. Hospitality is good, taking care of a stranger is good, taking care of a guest in the

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East. What was it like in the Middle East if somebody came to your house? How would you have to roll out the red carpet? You say, well that's a good thing.

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Yeah, but there's something better. That's the whole point of 1 Corinthians 7. There could be a good thing, but there's something better, especially when it makes you fully devoted, holy minded, setting your thoughts on who

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Christ is. Jesus, in this account, is going to show us,

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Luke will show us as the human author, that these are tied together.

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And what does the text say back in Luke chapter 10 of Martha? A technical term for welcoming a person into the house.

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She welcomed Jesus. She threw out the welcome mat. You can tell

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I was tired of it, I almost said the Malcolm Watt, and you would have known what I meant. You're tired too.

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But hallelujah, the air conditioner's working. Jesus is moving along, a vent doesn't matter, other people doesn't matter.

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He comes to your house and you want to just show hospitality. You want to do everything you can.

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Hospitality to a weary traveler is good, isn't it? Kindness in welcoming a guest is good, isn't it?

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Verse 39, we have kind of a silent figure here, a silent sister, and she had a sister called

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Mary, who did everything wrongly, who sat at the

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Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. Shouldn't she be helping? By the way, this is what a disciple does, and few women ever are shown in the

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New Testament doing this very thing. This is not what women did. Women worked over here while the men sat at Jesus' feet with a reflexive kind of language.

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She took it upon herself with self -initiation to say, I'm going to sit at the feet of Jesus to learn.

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The Greek word is miriam. She sat there. She took the initiative.

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You know the story, verse 40, but Martha was distracted with much serving. She was busy.

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She was sweating, and she went up to him and said, Peter, like I might add, and you could probably pant when you were going to say this,

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Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.

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I alone, this is the sixth sola of the Reformation, sola serva,

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I alone in serving. This is just not what you do. We've just seen the narrator

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Luke say, hospitality is good, showing the good Samaritan just pouring out help.

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But you know what's happening, and she says it in such a rhetorical way, yes is anticipated. Don't you care?

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Yes, I know you care, Lord, in Luke 10. She's irritated, but she's also distracted.

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She's being pulled away. Here's Jesus teaching Mary over here, and here's Martha now, distracted.

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She has divided attention, overburdened with this duty she thinks she has to do.

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She thinks she's doing the right thing, but she's too busy for Jesus. Text says she was distracted, and she said, tell her then to help me.

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She's sitting around at the Lord's feet of all places like a man. Shouldn't she be helping in the kitchen?

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Then verse 41, but the Lord answered her.

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The Lord answered her. Martha, Martha, there's some tenderness there, some emotion there.

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You are anxious. That is the tie -in, by the way, to 1 Corinthians 7, same word.

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You are anxious and troubled about many things. You're distracted.

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Sometimes good things aren't the best thing, and you're divided in your mind. But one thing is necessary, a good meal.

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Well, Martha has chosen the good portion. That's a good meal.

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She's chosen a good meal, it's figurative. She's chosen the best meal to sit at the word of God, to sit at the

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Lord's feet and receive the good meal. You ever go to church and you just get such a deep message?

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You go, I felt fed today. Here's the meal, Martha, but the meal isn't what you serve. It's the meal that Jesus gives to Mary.

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She's got the good portion. She's receiving God's word. That's the most important thing.

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Martha, you're fretting. Martha, you're fussing. Martha, you're fuming. Jesus, the Lord says, this might be good, but there's a time and a place where it's not the best.

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This one thing is better. One thing is needed. Say no to the good to say yes to the best.

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Hey, that reminds me of something. That's 1 Corinthians 7. Let's turn there. Good better best when doing a good thing isn't the best.

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I have a message today for the single people. Months ago we were in 1 Corinthians 7 and you probably were saying, it's marriage verse, marriage verse, marriage verse.

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Now what am I going to do? When will we talk about the singles? I'm going to talk to you today. Now everybody else says, good,

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I can check out on this one. No. No. Congregation, you need to know about the single life. And two, there's so many things in 17, chapter 7, verses 25 to 40, you're going to go, oh, this is great.

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It's not just good for the singles, it's good for me. And the overall theme of 1 Corinthians 7, 25 to 40 is going to be this.

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There's something that's good, marriage, but there's something that even could be better. Ready?

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Singleness. If you're single, marriage might be good, but Paul says something might even be better.

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And by the way, for those of you that sit here and you're single and you go, you know what the world says, I'm an old maid,

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I'm an old spinster. Paul is going to elevate singleness to a category that's going to far outshine marriage in many ways.

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And our view as a church congregation for the married people, it's not, well, we have some single people over here.

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They on the chopping list, the chopping list, okay, they're on the chopping block.

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Paul is going to say marriage is good, but if you're single, something might be better.

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Holy heart, holy heart of devotion to God. And for those of you who are already married, you might say to yourself as I go through this passage, before I take that new job, maybe

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I should ask this question. That new job's good, but is it the best? Because if it distracts me from wholly focused on the

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Lord Jesus, 50 ,000 a year more is not worth it. Oh yeah, but I might be able to move to this place across the country.

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I might be able to do this or that. Well, it might be good, but will that new position make it divided in your mind to say,

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I just can't serve the Lord like I should have or could have here. So 1 Corinthians 7, verses 25 to 40 today, sometimes the good isn't the best.

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And we'll find out quickly that marriage divides your attention and it's hard to be spiritual when you're married.

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I'm glad nobody said amen. The husbands knew better. You were going to be so dust if you did.

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Last week we looked at Colossians and Colossians says that the goal of the church is the maturation of the saints, that they would be fully devoted.

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That's the Old Testament equivalent of perfect or mature, fully devoted, fully devoted to serve

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Jesus. And married people, it's harder when you're married to do that. Single people, by the end of this message, here's what

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I hope you've processed. Instead of spending 25 hours a week on eHarmony,

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I don't care if you go to eHarmony or not, just don't tell me about it. I don't care.

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I don't care. I need to be fully devoted to serve the Lord. There's a reason why

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I'm single. There's a reason why I'm single and can devote myself to serve the

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Lord. And so instead of worried about how you're going to get married, to whom will you marry, et cetera, et cetera, your time and your energy can be full on, full bore for the

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Lord. You don't have to say, well, how am I going to take care of my wife and my kids and other issues?

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No. You don't have to. So let's just see how far we get today. I want to cover the whole thing, but I don't know if we can.

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Paul is saying to redeemed church, church, you've been bought by a price, Christ Jesus, then here's how you respond to honor me.

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And he talked about marriage in chapter seven, is that's when we start getting the questions and answers. Do you see in chapter seven, verse one, what's the first thing it says there?

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Seven one. Now concerning the matters about what you wrote, he's been saying there's some issues in the church chapters one to six.

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Now he's got some answers to their questions. As one commentator said, the trouble is this is like reading somebody else's mail.

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We don't know the questions, but we know the answers. And so the question was, for instance, in verses one and following, is it good for a man to have sexual relations with a woman?

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There's so much perversion and Corinth and temple prostitution and engaging in sex with prostitutes called worship.

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Maybe it's just not good for married couples to ever be together again. And Paul answers the question, well, what about divorce and remarriage?

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Paul answers the question. What about marrying an unbeliever?

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Paul asked the question and he pretty much says in verse 24, in the middle of all kinds of sin that can cloud relationships and been married three times, divorced to one married this, that, and the other.

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What do we do? Paul says in verse 24 of 1 Corinthians 7, so brothers, whatever condition each was called, when you became a

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Christian and you were married, let them remain there with God. You don't have to try to say, yeah, but it was an unbiblical divorce and this, that, and the other.

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Just remain there. Just stay where you are. Now, 725 to 40 is going to answer this question.

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Paul, you said to remain where you are. I'm engaged. What do I do?

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I'm betrothed to use their language. If you say remain, remain, remain, remain, just stay where you are, you don't have to try to get out of this sin mess that's divorce and remarriage and everything else is caused.

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You're married now to a spouse. Stay there. Yeah, but I'm engaged. And so Paul takes 16 verses to answer it.

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And I think you'll see again, to repeat myself, when the world says singleness is bad in a church and old maid spinsters are bad,

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Paul will say, it's a great exalted position. And then to everyone else,

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Paul will say, sometimes you have to say no to the good to say yes to the best.

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So let's take a look at it. When I first came to these verses, I was dreading it. I'd go so far to say,

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I don't know if any Bible that I've ever had out of the 20, 40, 50, 100 Bibles I have, I don't know how many

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I have. I don't think I've ever underlined anything in here. Maybe if you're single, these are your life verses.

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I don't know. But it's just chock full of good things.

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Remain as you are. Yeah, but what about singleness? So Paul says, verse 25, now concerning the virgins or the betrothed, the engaged, we'd say it today,

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I have no command from the Lord. In other words, there's not a chapter and verse that I can quote from.

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There's no red letters that I could pull from. If Jesus said something about it, it's not recorded in Scripture. Remember, Paul is spirit -driven, spirit -inspired,

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God -breathed. But I give my judgment as one who, by the Lord's mercy, is trustworthy.

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These other false teachers out there, not so trustworthy, but I'm trustworthy. You can take my word for it when it comes to betrothals, engagements, and marriages.

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Now, let me give you four considerations for singles here who might want to marry. Four considerations for singles, looking before you leap, we'll call it maybe.

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And again, we're going to soon find out that marriage is good, but singleness might be better and you are not a second -class citizen if you're single.

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Consideration number one. And I'm calling them considerations on purpose because they're not commands by Paul.

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This is very pastoral, driven by theology, and they're very wise of Paul as he walks between liberty and legalism, as he walks between licentiousness and asceticism.

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He just threads the needle perfectly. Consideration number one if you're single.

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Singleness might be better because marriage brings extra difficulties, especially in tough times.

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In tough times, marriage brings extra difficulties, so singleness might be better. Look at verses 26 through 28.

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I think that in view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound by a wife?

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Don't seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Don't seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned.

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And if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

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Back up to 26. Present distress. What's going on? This is not just end times groanings where we're in the end days, things are tough.

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This was something that we don't really know what was happening. Some people say it was a plague. Some people say it was a famine.

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Some people say Jerusalem's about ready to be destroyed. Erastus, the temple, the treasurer rather, he had been martyred according to tradition.

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Maybe there's a lot of Christian persecution, but there's a unique situation to Corinth, and they are literally dying.

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And now Paul is going to say, by the way, if you're engaged, here's some advice for you. There's a national crisis.

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Maybe there's a war going on. What do you do in the middle of war? What do you do when there's no food? So we don't know exactly what that present distress is, but it's made

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Paul say, you know what? As one man said, when high seas are raging, it's no time for changing ships.

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Or as Francis Bacon said, children sweeten labors, but they make misfortunes more bitter.

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Social unrest, no grain, no food, you're going to get married and have a wife and then have kids? That's not the best.

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By the way, married people, if there is a horrible situation like war and famine and everything else, don't ditch your wives.

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Verse 27, are you bound by a wife? Don't seek to be free, even when there's some kind of plague or famine.

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Are you free from a wife? Don't seek a wife. It's difficult to be married when there's a crisis, but what

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God has created, intended, is a lifelong thing. You keep it that way.

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But then he defers and says in verse 28, to the one who wants to get married, but if you do marry, you have not sinned.

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If a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.

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Socrates was asked, I'm a single man, Socrates, should

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I marry or not? Broken clock's right twice a day, even unbelievers say things sometimes that are true.

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Whichever you do, you will repent of it. A rabbi said, a young man is like a colt at Winnie's, single guy.

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He paces up and down. He grooms himself with care. This is because he's looking for a wife. But once married, he resembles a donkey, quite loaded down with burdens.

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Same would be for the ladies, of course. The world is difficult for the Corinthians. Are you sure you want to add marriage?

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And if you'd like to, that's fine. No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Ebendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life -transforming power of God's Word through verse -by -verse exposition of the sacred text.

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Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 8 .30 and 11 a .m. and Sunday evenings at 6 p .m.

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We're right on Route 110 in West Boylston, Massachusetts. You can check us out online at bbcchurch .org

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or by phone at 508 -835 -3400. The thoughts and opinions expressed on No Compromise Radio do not necessarily reflect those of WVNE, its staff or management.