WWUTT 082 Parents and Children (Colossians 3:20-21)

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When we look at the Ten Commandments, the first four commandments are vertical, addressing our relationship with God.
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The next six commandments are horizontal, the relationship between man and man. And the first of those horizontal commands is to honor your father and your mother when we understand the text.
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Now here's our host, Pastor Gabe Hughes. Thank you, Becky. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.
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Husbands, you are to love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
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So when we're talking about earthly examples of submission in the picture of marriage, which
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God gave us to be enjoyed between a husband and a wife for life, the wife is the picture of submission.
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We are all called to submit, but the wife gives us that earthly example of submission.
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The husband is to be the earthly example of sacrifice. And we do this to the glory of God.
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Wife, you are to submit to your husband, not because the Bible said so. You don't do it begrudgingly.
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Okay, I'll submit, I guess, because the Bible says I'm supposed to do it. It is your delight to do so, so that you might encourage him in the position that God has called him to as the head of the household.
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And you do this to God's glory, not your own husbands. You are to sacrifice for your wife.
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And again, you don't do that begrudgingly. Okay, I guess I'll give up my passions or I'll give up time that I want to sit in front of the
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TV or work out in the workshop or, or spend extra hours at work. So that I guess, you know, so I can come home and be with my family because God said, so you don't do that begrudgingly.
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It is your delight to sacrifice for your wife and for your family.
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So let us do these things again to God's glory. And perhaps because my time was cut short yesterday,
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I did not properly sum that up in that way, but that was yesterday's message on husbands and wives.
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Today, we continue on in our study of Colossians chapter three to verse 20, children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the
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Lord. And I've been cheating a little bit on expanding this passage by going to Ephesians chapter five.
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Well, today will be chapter six. We'll go there in just a moment, but let's come to the Lord first in prayer. Our great
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God, we thank you for these earthly relationships, these earthly dynamics that you have given to us so that we might learn a little bit more as to how we are to conduct ourselves in this world in a way that is pleasing to you and also filling the roles that you have called us to help us to be obedient to these things and to do them with joy, because we know that we are submitting to what you have called for or designed us for help us to be in submission to your will, not trying to advance our own.
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We know that you work all things together for good for those who love
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God and are called according to your purpose. Keep this in mind for us by your spirit.
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And in the name of Jesus, we pray. Amen. Okay. Back in Colossians chapter three yesterday, the theme was verse 18.
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Wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
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Verses 18 and 19. Today is verse 20. Children obey your parents and everything for this pleases the
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Lord. And then verse 21, fathers do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.
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So as we see this next section in Colossians chapter three here, as was mentioned in the prayer, we're looking at ways that we exist in this world, the relationships that we have in this world and how we are to conduct ourselves in those relationships.
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Wives and husbands was first children and parents was today. And then tomorrow we're going to be looking at bond servants and masters.
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Okay. And even though that's in the context of bond servants and masters, we'll also be looking at this in the fashion of an employee employer relationship.
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That's not exactly the same. And we'll be sure to qualify that tomorrow as well, but still important for us to talk about as we're talking, as we are trying to understand this sanctification process within the relationships that we exist in on planet earth.
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So going back to Ephesians chapter five, which is where we were yesterday, I'm going to start again in verse 15, and then it kind of explain how we've been using this to understand this dynamic a little bit better.
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So Ephesians 5, 15, look carefully, then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil.
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Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is and do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled with the spirit, addressing one another in Psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the
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Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God, the father in the name of our
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Lord, Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. So remember we're reading in verse 20, give thanks always and for everything to God, the father in the name of the
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Lord, Jesus Christ, because then as we get into wives, submit to your own husbands, husbands, love your wives, children, obey your parents, bond servants, obey your earthly masters.
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We're supposed to receive those instructions, understanding that we are to give thanks always and for everything to God, the father in the name of the
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Lord, Jesus Christ. So because of Christ and his sacrifice, because of what he did on the cross for us, that we might be justified, that we might have eternal life.
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We are made holy in the eyes of God and acceptable to God because of what his son did for us.
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Then it is our delight to submit in all of these areas where God has called us in submission.
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We read in verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. And one of the things that I mentioned yesterday is that we all have a role of submission that we play in the church.
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We have to submit to even those who have the lesser gifts. When Paul kind of talks about those who have greater gifts and the lesser gifts, we even submit to those who have lesser gifts because we realize
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God has called them in that gift to do that work. So we submit to their calling.
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We have our own calling. All right. And there are people who have the greater gifts. And of course, we are supposed to submit to them, not trying to do what they have been called to do, lest we be guilty of not submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
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So all of us are called to submission in some way. But when we're looking at the marriage dynamic, that is the ultimate earthly relationship that God has gifted us with to see a true example of submission.
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The way the wife submits to her husband is the picture of how we all are supposed to submit to one another.
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The way that the husband loves his wife, giving himself up for her is the example of sacrifice in the way that we're all supposed to sacrifice for one another, helping to grow one another, admonish and train and cleanse one another with the washing of water through the word, as the husband is called to do for his wife.
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So we must do for one another. OK, now, of course, our ultimate example is Christ Jesus.
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But I'm talking about the way that we see these things work out in our earthly relationships. So that was what we focused on yesterday.
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Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
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Won't expound on that too much further. You can go to yesterday's lesson to hear it again. Then we get into Ephesians chapter six.
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OK, so recalling here in Ephesians five, we've got three contrasts followed by three commands and then three contexts.
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The three contrasts are in verses 15, 16 and 17. Look carefully, then how you walk not as unwise, but as wise.
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There's a contrast making the best use of the time because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the
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Lord's will is. There is the next contrast. Then verse 18. And do not get drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled with the spirit.
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There's the third contrast. So then we have three commands addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the
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Lord with your heart. Verse 20, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of the
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Lord Jesus Christ. And verse 21, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. And then we have three contexts.
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Wives submit to your husbands, husbands to your wives. That's the first context. The second one appears in chapter six, verse one.
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Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother.
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This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
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Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the
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Lord. So the second context is husbands and wives.
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Because when it comes to our earthly relationships, that one is the most important.
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That one is the heart of community. And you can't have community without marriage.
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And then you have the relationship between parents and children, because you should not be having children unless you are married.
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Do I really need to expound on that in any way? Okay. So then that's the second context.
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Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and your mother. The first commandment with a promise.
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When you're seeing the 10 commandments, the first four commandments are vertical commands.
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I am the Lord, your God. You do not get another one. That is the first command. The second commandment. Don't make anything that looks like me.
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The third commandment. Don't mess with my name. Don't take the
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Lord's name in vain. The fourth commandment. Don't even mess with my day. All right. So all of those commandments are vertical commandments.
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It's referred to as the first table of the law. First four commands all dealing with our relationship with God.
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The next six have to do with our relationship with man. That's called the second table of the law.
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And the first commandment of those next six commands. So the fifth commandment you're talking about now, the first of those horizontal commands, the relationship between man and man is honor your father and your mother.
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Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your father and your mother.
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This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
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Because of course, as this was delivered to the Israelites, the 10 commandments, Exodus chapter 20, you see him repeated again in Deuteronomy.
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As these are given to the Israelite people, they're about to go into the promised land, especially when
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Moses is repeating them in Deuteronomy. He's kind of giving them his final address before they go into the land that God has promised for them to have.
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And so what is included in this is that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.
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And now when it comes down to it, that's the only commandment with a promise. None of the other nine commandments have promises attached to them, only the fifth commandment.
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And now, how does this work for us? Because obviously we're not being sent into a promised land.
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The United States of America is not the promised land. I ache in realizing that there are still people that that needs to be said to.
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But anyway, wherever you are listening from, wherever you are on the globe, where you live is not the promised land.
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The promised land is the eternal kingdom that we are waiting for the revealing of. And we read in Hebrews chapter 11 that even the heroes of the faith of the
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Old Testament understood that the homeland that they were seeking was not the land from which they had gone out.
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If that was the case, they would have had the opportunity to return. Hebrews 11 16. But as it is, they desire a better country that is a heavenly one.
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Therefore, God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city. So even the promised land in the
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Old Testament was not the final destination. It was heaven in glory. And that's ultimately the promised land that we are looking forward to as well.
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And so one of the commands that God has called us to that it may go well with us in this life.
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All right. I don't mean to say that the fifth commandment is not attached to the world in which we live in now, but definitely for the life to come, that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land is that we honor our fathers and our mothers.
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Our children are to learn this as it goes on in verse four. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and the instruction of the
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Lord. And without expounding on this too much, just let me say that a father who is unfaithful to his wife and to his children is provoking his children to anger.
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In Malachi 2, starting in verse 15, we read from the prophet, did he not make them one husband and wife with a portion of the spirit in their union?
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And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth for the man who does not love his wife, but divorces her, says the
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Lord covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not be faithless.
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The husband that does not remain faithful to his wife covers his garment with violence.
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I don't think it is too far fetched for me to attach to this understanding of marriage, the statistics that we read of how far off track our youth go when they come from broken homes, increased teen pregnancy, increased suicide rates, increased substance abuse problems, increased risk of being sent to prison and on and on the list goes.
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Now, understand that doesn't mean that any child that comes from a broken home is going to fall into those things.
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I think it would be very graceless for me to say that. But the statistics ring true that children who come from broken homes tend to be more troubled.
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And so a husband that does not love his wife leaves her and his children brings violence upon himself.
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There's also another picture that's being painted here, and that's when a husband is not faithful to his wife and breaks from her who he is one flesh with her.
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And so that one flesh splitting apart has broken the one person and that one person now no longer exists.
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When half of a person leaves the other half, it's a mess. It creates a big mess and that body cannot go on living that way.
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And so that is another way that violence has been brought upon himself in this way. And so fathers that do not bring their children up in the discipline and the instruction of the
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Lord provoke their children to anger, or they would lead their children toward living a life that is not godly, that is not honoring to the
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Lord, that is not peaceful and kind according to the provision of Christ. So bring them up in the training and the instruction of the
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Lord. Deuteronomy six, four here, O Israel, the Lord, our God, the
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Lord is one. You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.
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And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise, you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.
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You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. In other words, parents, everything that you do, whatever you do with your kids, however you engage in the world, be teaching them the gospel and the things of God.
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As you go, there are so many times with my children where, when I will ask them just very simple, basic questions, like when something happens in my kids get awed by that.
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And I will say, who created that? How did that come to be? And they will say, God did. I mean, it's simple and it's basic.
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And you wouldn't think that you would have to come back to those kinds of things with your kids. But as your kids minds are still developing, constantly come back to this so that they see the
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Lord in all things, even in troubling circumstances. If you're watching the news sometime and you see bad news, you are able to teach your kids that God uses even the worst of circumstances, ultimately for his glory.
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And God is allowing those things to happen because he has some ultimate plan that he is trying to fulfill in that.
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So in everything that you do, teach your kids about God, show them the grace of the gospel in every single thing that we apply ourselves to, that you may bring them up in the instruction of the
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Lord. Also disciplining your children. We read in Proverbs that whoever does not discipline their child hates their children.
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It is a loving thing to discipline your child. Spanking? Yes, absolutely. There are other methods of discipline, but spanking must be part of the discipline that you are bringing up your children under.
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Let us be faithful in these things. Proverbs talks about spanking. We have a video about that.
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Just go to YouTube and search WWUTT spanking or spare the rod. I think that that would be the video that you would come across.
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So let us be faithful to these things in the training and the discipline of the Lord. And we as adults even still need to show respect to our parents, honoring our fathers and our mothers.
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Because if we do not do that in our old age, neither will our children do that for us.
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God, as we are parting from our study today, I pray that you continue to teach us and guide us in these things.
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Keep these words written on our hearts that we might be glorifying to you in all things.
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And we pray this in Jesus name. Amen. Thank you for listening to When We Understand the Text. Pastor Gabe is the author of the book 40 of the most popular
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Bible verses and what they really mean. Available in paperback or for your Kindle. He has also authored a
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Bible study through the book of 1 Corinthians. Both books can be found at our website at WWUTT .com.