What Jesus REALLY Meant by 'Hate Your Family'

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The message of Christianity is that salvation is found in Christ alone, and any who reject

Christ therefore forfeit any hope of salvation, any hope of heaven.

The issue is that humanity is in sin, and the wrath of almighty

God is hanging over our heads. They will hear his words, they will not act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed and they will perish.

God wrapped himself in flesh, condescended, and became a man, died on the cross for sin, was resurrected on the third day, has ascended to the right hand of the

Father, where he sits now to make intercession for us. Jesus is saying there is a group of people who will hear his words, they will act upon them, and when the floods of divine judgment come in that final day, their house will stand.

So the last question I wanted to ask you is probably the one that maybe a lot of people listening have been probably wishing

I'd bring up a little earlier than this, but when you're thinking about honoring your father and mother, the

Bible tells us to do that. It tells us to honor our father and mother, and then it even,

I think you mentioned this earlier, but there's even a promise attached to that command, right?

So if we honor Deuteronomy 6, right?

No, Deuteronomy 5. Honor your father and your mother as Lord your

God commanded you that your days may be long and that it may go well with you in the land and that the

Lord your God is giving you. So there's a promise attached to this, and Paul echoes this same exact sentiment in Ephesians 6.

That's where I got the 6 from. Right at the beginning of the chapter, children obey your parents and the

Lord for this is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well for you and that you may live long in the land.

So Paul's echoing that same sentiment. It makes sense. He's a Jew. He knew the law really well.

That's one of the first commandments, or it's the first commandment with a promise, one of the Ten Commandments. But Jesus says something that seems different.

So if you look at Luke 14, verse 16. Let's see.

Sorry, I don't have it pulled up. I don't have it pulled up. I don't have it pulled up.

I thought I did. You said Luke 14. What? I think I have the wrong verse pulled up.

If anyone doesn't come to me and hate his own father and mother. What is that?

I wrote down the wrong. 14, 26. I had 16. Okay. So Luke 14, verse 26.

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters.

Yes. And even his own life. He cannot be my disciple. So it seems like he's saying something different than what

Deuteronomy said and what Paul said. And there's other examples of this too.

Jesus' family comes to him and some people inform Jesus, hey, your mother, your brothers, your sister, your sisters are here to see you.

And he basically rejects them. He says, who is my brother? Who is my father, mother, sister, and brother?

Right. So it seems like Jesus was saying something different.

He didn't live near his family as far as we know. He was traveling around.

So are Paul and Moses at odds with Jesus here?

Are they saying two contradictory things? Are they competing with each other here? Or how do we harmonize these various passages of scripture so that they all make sense together?

Yes. I mean, what Jesus is doing there is it's a very Hebrew way of speaking. So basically he's saying that your love for me should, in contrast to your love for your family, there's no comparison essentially.

Right. So you should love me so much in comparison to them that your love for them feels like hatred in comparison to your love for me, meaning you have a primary devotion to God.

And I mean, there's certainly families who are dead set on trying to keep you from loving God for sure.

I mean, that's obviously something that will happen. So Jesus says, don't think I've come to bring peace, but a sword.

A man's enemies will be those of his own household. Father against mother, sister against brother, a man against his wife.

Right. Man's enemies will be those of his own household. So I mean, certainly they will, you know, your family members at times could even think that they're going to deliver you up to death and think that they're doing

God a service. Yeah. Even, you know what I mean? I've had extended family members who act like that, who, like I persuaded that if they handed me over to be killed, they would think they were doing

God a service, you know, kind of thing. So, yeah, I mean, there's certainly, you should be like fundamental, your fundamental allegiance is to the

Lord and it push comes to shove. If your family, your family can make demands of you to try to monopolize your time and to take you away from the things that you should be doing.

And to the extent to which they're doing that, yes, there's a clear, you have to love the Lord first.

So we have been given a spiritual family, family too, right? So we have biological family. We have, we're given a spiritual family.

And so the biological realities inform the spiritual realities.

I should, you know, there's a sense in which, yeah, like if my parents are not saved,

I'm close to them in one sense, but then my church members, there's a unity that I'm going to have with my church members that I'm never going to have with them.

You know, no, I'm not trying to suggest that, you know, some, like there is also a fundamental unity

I'm going to have between, you know, brother and sister in Christ across the world or something like that too.

I mean, that's, that's obviously true, but then I may not be able to talk to him in language, you know, so there may be some similarities

I have with my, my biological father and mother, but there is a fundamental unity that Christ is one that supersedes, you know, biological relationships.

So these things are not meant to basically be set in opposition to each other, but sometimes it can be by virtue of the choices that you're unbelieving family members are making, or even at times you're believing family members are making where they're trying to pull you away from the, like having godly priorities.

They're trying to lead you into sin into the extent to which they're doing that.

Yes. I mean, my love for God should feel like hatred, you know, like in contrast.

So I, I, I should, you shouldn't let them lead you into sin for sure, you know, and your allegiance is to God first and you need to keep the proper priorities.

Now, I mean, you can be the kind of person who says, well, I need to serve the Lord therefore, you know, forget you.

I don't have any responsibilities to you. And Jesus rebukes that kind of thinking.

That's not the kind of thinking you should have, but if they're intent upon making it a me or Jesus kind of thing, it's like, well, it's

Jesus then I'm sorry, you know, you lose. It's not even a thought.

Thanks for the diapers, but you still lose, you know, like back off, you know, and then we'll have a normal relationship.

No, I don't think you should say it like that. That's being, I mean, you shouldn't say what I just said, but I mean, that's the sentiment essentially.

Right. Right. Right. Okay. Well, I think that's a good place for us to wrap up the episode on. So thank you,

Tim, for answering all my questions related to the topic. And we want to thank you guys for supporting us week in and week out.

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