The Honour Code of God's House #1 - Maintaining Standards (1 Tim 5:1-2)

All right, if you have a copy of God's Word, and I hope you do, take it and turn with me to 1 Timothy chapter number five, as we continue the sermon series that we have been in for, this is week 15 by my count, working our way through 1

Timothy, 1 Timothy chapter five. We're actually going to read two passages, one in 1

Timothy and one in Romans 12. I'll read the 1 Timothy one first, and then we'll go to Romans 12. So 1

Timothy chapter five, verses one and two, if you grabbed one of the red Bibles that we give away, that's on page 1052.

By the way, if you did grab one of those, that's yours to keep. If you don't have a copy of God's Word, that's our gift to you. So 1

Timothy chapter five, verses one and two, that's page 1052. And then we're going to read Romans chapter 12, verses nine through 21, that's page 1006 in that same red

Bible we give away. And I'll explain why I'm reading these two passages when we get into the message, but you'll notice that the two of them actually married together quite well.

So 1 Timothy and chapter five, verses one and two, and then we'll make our way to Romans 12, verses nine through to 21.

If you're able to do so, can I invite you to stand out of reverence for God's Word as we read this portion of scripture?

1 Timothy chapter five and verses one and two.

Brothers and sisters, these are God's words to us this morning. Don't rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.

Romans chapter 12, Romans chapter 12, and then reading from verse nine through to 21.

Again, God's Word says to us, Romans chapter 12, reading from verse nine.

Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil, cling to what is good.

Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another.

Do not lack diligence and zeal. Be fervent in the spirit. Serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope.

Be patient in affliction. Be persistent in prayer. Share with the saints in their need.

Pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse.

Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another.

Do not be proud. Instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes.

If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Friends, do not avenge yourselves. Instead, leave room for God's wrath. Because it is written, vengeance belongs to me.

I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him.

If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing, you will be heaping fiery coals on his head.

Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.

The gospel is a flower of faith, but this word of our God will remain forever. I pray that he blesses the reading and the preaching of it to our hearts.

Allow me to pray, ask for God's help, and we will get to work in God's word this morning. Heavenly Father, we thank you once again for another opportunity to gather as your people.

Thank you that we have your word, which is a light to our feet and a lamp to our path.

We ask that as we come to it, that your spirit would shine light upon the word. He would help us to understand the scriptures.

He would help us to see its truth. Not just to see its truth, but to understand it.

Not just to understand it, but to cherish it and to put it to practice in our lives. Father, as we pray for our church this morning, we take a moment to pray for our friends at Heritage Christian Fellowship in Medford.

Pray especially for this Sunday, a rather big Sunday for them. It's their vision Sunday as they lay out,

God willing, the vision for the next year or so. Father, pray for Pastor Paul as he ministers your word, especially as he announces their desire to seek a permanent location after years of renting.

Pray that you would open the door for that. Thank you for the ministry that's happening there and pray that you would continue to lead them further into the truth as Paul is faithfully preaching your word there.

Pray for your blessing on them and pray for your blessing on us now as you come to your word. And we ask it all in Jesus' name and for his sake.

Amen. And please be seated. What should church life look like?

What should church life look like? Depending on who you are, depending on, you know, what your personal preferences are, depending on what your previous experiences have been,

I think we could all agree asking that question of what church life should look like, that can be a loaded question.

And that's probably a good way to put that. That can be a loaded question. Well, as we've been working our way through the letter of 1

Timothy, this series has been something of an honest attempt, at least I hope it's been an honest attempt, to ask and to answer the question of what should church life look like?

Maybe to make this a little bit more specific, we've been really delving into the question, well, does the Bible present to us any sort of pattern for what a church should be?

You see, there's all kinds of things that we can bring to the discussion of this question. We can bring our own reason, what we think makes sense.

We can bring what other institutions tell us, well, this church says that this is what church should be, and this church is old enough and has been around long enough, surely they should know.

Or we can bring our own personal experience, what I just feel like, or I've experienced in the past this, therefore all churches should be like this.

These are some of the ways we can try and answer this question. But what we've been trying to do as we come to 1

Timothy is to ask the question, does the Bible, does the word of God, as we believe we have it, does this book present to us any sort of pattern for what a church should be?

Now, Paul was convinced that there was a pattern for the church, so much so that in the pages of this letter, he essentially tells

Timothy, I'm telling you how the church should operate. That's why we've called this series that we've been in God's house rules, because that's precisely what

Timothy has been receiving from Paul. Here's what God says his house should be like.

And so we have taken the last few months to carefully work our way chapter by chapter, section by section through this letter.

And in working through this letter, let me hopefully be honest and say, I appreciate that this may not always be the most scintillating of teaching.

I appreciate that talking about the church and how the church is supposed to operate isn't always high on everybody's agenda.

I can appreciate that. In fact, I also know that I preempted a series to do this one.

That doesn't, again, I've been doing this long enough to know that doesn't exactly gain you a lot of goodwill, especially when people have their heart set on what you said you were going to do.

So I appreciate that this may not be the most scintillating or the most engaging of series, but I hope that as we have made our way through this letter,

I hope that as we have taken, we're in chapter five, we're really not that far off the end of this letter. As we've made our way through the letter,

I hope that as we've been working our way through this letter, that you have grown in your appreciation for what makes a church a healthy church, even if you haven't agreed with all my conclusions.

And that's fair. I understand that I'm a human being. Not everything I say lands with equal authority.

I understand that. But at least I hope I've given you some stuff to think about as we've worked our way for nearly, well, for five chapters now through this letter.

I hope that you've grown in your appreciation for what makes a church a healthy church. I know that's been my experience week in, week out, as I've been studying my way through this letter.

As I said, my goal with this series has been to probe deeply into the Bible's pattern for the church, because I think that's the only pattern that really matters.

And to see whether Redeemer is living up to that pattern, whether the church in the valley around us is living up to that pattern, whether we as individuals are doing our part of living up to this pattern.

And this morning, as we come to 1 Timothy chapter five, we're actually beginning a new section in the letter. Paul is moving his argument along in this letter.

And so as I've been doing each time we start a new section, I want to take a moment and introduce you to the big picture of 1

Timothy. What's going on in this letter as a whole? I think if you understand the big picture, it will help you to understand what's happening in this little section.

Because Paul is a very clever writer. Paul doesn't just put things down on the page. There's organization, there's structure, there's a way he's making his point.

And I think it's helpful for us at times to see how Paul makes that point in this letter.

As you come to 1 Timothy, 1 Timothy really has five major parts to it. There's five major parts to it.

The key to this letter comes to us in chapter three, verses 14 and 15. In fact, if you've got a Bible in front of you, turn to it.

1 Timothy chapter three and verses 14 and 15. So Paul says in these verses,

I write these things to you. Okay, so he's telling you why he's writing. So that's probably good for us to know. He says,

I write these things to you, hoping to come to you soon. But if I should be delayed,

I have written so that for the purpose of you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household, which is the church of the living

God. Those are your key verses for this letter as it were. If you understand this, you understand what's happening in this letter.

Paul is writing so that Timothy would have an understanding of how the church is supposed to conduct itself.

And once you understand that, the rest of the book, I think actually comes together to kind of help you see this, create a graphic here that I think might help.

So if your key verses are verses 14 and 15, in chapter one, verses one through 20, you have the first major section in this letter where Paul is basically responding to false teaching.

And the way he responds to false teaching is with the gospel. So in chapter one, verse three, he tells us why

Timothy has been sent to this place called Ephesus. He's been sent to Ephesus because certain people have come in and they were teaching things that the word of God doesn't actually teach.

And so as they were teaching these things that the word of God doesn't teach, Paul sends Timothy and says, you need to get them straight as to what the word of God actually says.

And it's interesting that Paul's focus isn't so much on the content of the false teachers as much as it is to remind them of the content of the gospel, to remind them of the content of the good news about who

Jesus is and what Jesus has done. So that's the first major section in the letter.

You come to chapter two and a new section starts, really begins in chapter two, and goes all the way to chapter three, verse 13.

Because not only does Timothy need to respond to false teaching with the gospel, he also needs to restore godly order to the church.

Some things had gotten out of whack, some things had gotten out of direction. And Paul tells

Timothy, Timothy, part of your job in this church is going to be putting some of this stuff back in place.

And so from chapter two, verse one through chapter three, verse 13, he deals with all kinds of issues relating to order in the church, whether it's order in the church's mission, churches in the order, excuse me, in the church's leadership.

These are the things that he deals with in this second major section. Now you notice I've put little arrows under each of these because each of these are pointing to what

I think is the actual heart of the letter. The heart of the letter is a section that we've just finished.

Chapter three, verse 14 through to 416. And in the heart of the letter,

Paul tells Timothy, this is the heart of what you do. Yes, responding to false teaching is important.

And yes, restoring godly order to the church is important, but those are downstream from what is your primary work.

And so in this section from 314 to 416, which is what we finished last time, Paul essentially reminds

Timothy that your job is to remind God's people of the centrality of the gospel heard.

That the word of God with the gospel at its center is central to the life of the church.

It's central to the body and essential to your work, Timothy. If you lose sight of this, the body will lose sight of this.

And so this really acts as sort of the center of the letter. Everything is either leading up to it or flowing out from it.

This morning, we come to the fourth of the five sections of this letter, really from chapter five, verse one through to chapter six, verse two.

And in this section, Paul is again, if you notice, there's kind of a parallel to the previous section.

That's why I kind of have the arrows, the same number, and pointing in the same direction. In chapter two, verse one, he dealt with restoring godly order in the church.

In this new section, he's going to be dealing with restoring godly honor among God's people.

And again, all of this flows out of the centrality of God's word. If the word of God is central, it's going to lead to the church functioning or behaving a particular way.

Now you may think, well, what's the fifth section? I'm gonna hold off on that. You'll get that when we get there. But for our purposes, when we are in this fourth section, we're going to be here actually for several weeks.

Because the theme, as I've said, that ties this whole section from chapter five, verse one to chapter six, verse two, is this theme of God's people treating one another with honor.

Let me give you a bit of a breakdown real quick of what we're going to see here. So in our verses this morning, verses one and two, we're going to see honorable leadership.

How is it that leadership leads the way in treating people with honor? That's what we're going to start this morning.

In our next two messages, we're going to look at, well, how are widows supposed to be treated in the church?

Those who are essentially the vulnerable. Because in the ancient world, widows were incredibly vulnerable. So how leadership are supposed to treat people with honor, how the church treats the vulnerable with honor, verses three through sixteen of this chapter.

And then in chapter five, verses 17 to 25, we're going to see how should leadership be treated with honor.

Paul's going to deal with the whole section of how do we treat elders, both when they are doing what they should do and when they're not doing what they should do.

And then finally, in chapter six, verses one and the beginning of verse two, we'll deal with the honorable treatment of those who have rule over us, masters.

We'll have to deal with the thorny issue of slavery in the New Testament and how we're supposed to understand that. But Paul does have some things to say about that.

And again, as you know, it's the theme that ties this whole section together is this theme of honor.

The idea of honor, it might sound like a really old -fashioned concept. It may not be one that we often think about, but the

New Testament actually has a lot to say about this subject of honor. So Romans chapter 12, verse 10 that we just read, did you notice it?

Paul said, love one another deeply as brothers and sisters, take the lead. In the previous version of the translation

I used, the Christian standard Bible, they translated that word take the lead as outdo one another in showing honor.

The newer version is take the lead in honoring one another, literally outdo, outperform.

And again, verse 17 of Romans 12, do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone's eyes.

Paul can write to the Thessalonian Christians, 1 Thessalonians chapter 4, verses 3 and 4, but this is God's will, your sanctification that you keep away from sexual immorality, that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor.

Hebrews 13, the writer of Hebrews is wrapping up his letter and he says, pray for us that we, for we are convinced that we have a clear conscience, wanting to conduct ourselves honorably in everything.

Peter makes a similar point, 1 Peter 2 .12, conduct yourselves honorably among the

Gentiles, those that don't know God, so that when they slander you as evildoers, they will observe your good works and will glorify

God on the day he visits. God is concerned that his people function with a culture of honor.

In the Bible, honor has real, really two components to it. Number one, there's the component of giving a high value to someone and elevating them, giving a high value to someone and elevating them.

So it's not just kind of a faking respect for someone. No, it's actually having a high value for someone and as a result elevating them in line with that value.

That's the first biblical component of what honor looks like. And then related to that, number two is not only just having a high value for someone and elevating them as a result, it's treating someone in a way that's consistent with that high value.

So we can't just say we're honoring someone, you're supposed to actually honor them.

So there is giving high value to someone and elevating them and then treating them in a way that's consistent with that high value.

Now here's the challenge for us as 21st century models, which all of us are. If you really think about it long and hard enough, our culture doesn't honor people.

It really doesn't. Now some of you say, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, Kofi, Kofi, Kofi, don't we live in the culture of celebrity?

Yeah, but let's be honest, do we really like celebrities? No, we generally kind of mock them.

Now granted, there are some people who are famous for reasons that only God really knows why they are, but I'm not really talking about that, am

I? I'm talking about the fact that just in general, we don't have a culture that honors people. Even those we say are celebrities, we kind of don't honor them.

Even those who've probably earned it. In fact, our culture goes out of its way to kind of eliminate the idea of honor if you think about it long and hard enough.

Let me make it a little uncomfortable for a moment, maybe that might help. Whether it's the impulse in our culture that basically says everybody is equal, which is true, however, what often becomes the result of that belief?

Well, since everybody is equal, I'm not going to treat you like you're better than me, which often turns into I'll treat you not as high as I treat me, because I think

I'm actually quite important if I'm honest. Now, we generally treat people as lesser important than us.

At best, we'll say, okay, I treat everybody the same. Well, I'm actually going to argue from the New Testament, you're not supposed to treat everybody the same.

You're actually supposed to treat other people as better than you. Allow me to pick on one that might be uncomfortable.

Our culture says that if you like someone, you rib them, you poke fun at them. We're all taught that from when we're young.

If your friends do that, oh, that means we'll do this. I remember being told this as a boy.

Picture young Kofi, if you will. Well, Douglas was the name I went by, that's my first name, but that's a whole other conversation.

Picture young Douglas. For whatever reason, the girl's being mean to him.

Don't go to dad, because that usually doesn't end well. So I go to my mom. Mom, don't speak to me badly.

Oh, that's just her way of showing she likes you. But she's, that doesn't make sense.

What do we do? We kind of just tell people, well, no, but it does make sense. No, it doesn't.

If you stop and think about it, why are you ribbing that person? It's, you've seen something that you think is funny and you're mocking them for it.

That's not honoring them. And if someone said, well, Kofi, that's just cultural. Well, we're

Christians. Sorry, we don't do things culturally. It's mockery. And actually, Proverbs has a lot to say about not mocking people.

How about our view of those in leadership? Hebrews 13, 17, obey your leaders and submit to them as those who will give an account for your souls.

Hmm. I don't know if I like that. No, it doesn't.

Again, leaders are not above contradiction. Doesn't mean you can't debate things with them. You can't say, I don't, that's not what

I mean. But again, you look at the culture around us and our culture, I've talked about the fact our culture has an authority problem.

It doesn't just have an authority problem. If we're really honest, our culture has an honor problem. And that makes what we're going to read in these passages somewhat uncomfortable sometimes, because essentially

Paul is calling all of us as God's people to a higher way of living than the world around us. And that means we're going to deal with some thorny issues as we think about how we actually function as a people of honor first here, but then with the world out there.

And like I said, we're going to deal with some uncomfortable issues, slavery, how women are to be treated in the church.

For me, the uncomfortable issue of should passes be paid? No nice, easy issues to deal with on Sunday mornings.

These are tough issues, but if they're in God's word, God believes we need to think about them, don't we?

And so my hope is over the next few weeks for us to think very radically about how we conduct ourselves as the people of God.

And I think the passage that we're going to be in this morning, 1 Timothy 5, 1 and 2, sets a foundation for us.

It's going to help us see just big picture, what does it look like to honor one another?

And these verses, Paul is going to help Timothy figure out how you develop a culture of honor in the church.

And that starts with, what I've titled this message this morning, confronting sin and maintaining standards.

Confronting sin and maintaining standards. How can faithful churches, if we want to be a faithful church or any other church that we know, how can faithful churches develop and maintain a culture of honor among their people?

Well, that leads to my big idea for this morning. Very simply, a culture of honor begins with maintaining godly standards through graciously confronting sin.

A culture of honor begins with maintaining godly standards through graciously confronting sin.

We can't be a people of honor if first and foremost, we don't honor ourselves by dealing with sin when it happens in our midst.

And so these two very simple verses are going to teach us that a culture of honor, a culture of conducting ourselves honorably, that that culture begins with maintaining godly standards through graciously confronting sin.

Now, keyword here, graciously. Because as we're going to see in this passage, there's a way to confront sin that isn't all that gracious.

It isn't all that edifying. That's not what we're going for. We want to go for gracious confrontation, but it's confrontation nonetheless.

So a culture of honor begins with maintaining godly standards through graciously confronting sin.

For the rest of our time, I want us to look in this passage and see two approaches to graciously confronting sin that will help any healthy church maintain godly standards.

I want to talk about two approaches, two standards, if you will, that we have to maintain as we confront sin if we want any healthy church to maintain godly standards.

So two approaches, two standards, if you will. First of all, look at me at verse one.

So verse 75, verse one. Paul says, don't rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father.

For a moment, I want you to consider with me, first of all, the standard of gracious rebuke. How do we maintain standards?

Well, we do so through the standard of gracious rebuke. Now, you didn't know it when we read this passage, but when we got to this passage, we landed on something of a problem.

Because Paul says here, don't rebuke an older man, but exhort him.

Then we think, Tophi, where's the problem? That seems pretty straightforward. Here's the problem.

Doesn't the Bible say we should rebuke people? Take a moment and think about that question.

Doesn't the Bible say we should rebuke people? Actually, it does in a few places.

First Timothy 5 .20, in fact, we'll get there in about three weeks, Lord willing. First Timothy 5 .20,

publicly rebuke those who sin so that the rest will be afraid. Okay, the next letter.

So first Timothy 5 .20, publicly rebuke those who sin. Second Timothy 4 .2, preach the word, be ready in season, out of season, correct, rebuke and encourage.

Titus 1 .13, this testimony is true where Paul says that very flattering tourism poster thing about the

Cretans, you know, that they're evil beasts, gluttons and liars. And he says, 13, this testimony is true.

For this reason, rebuke them sharply so that they may be sound in the faith.

Same letter, Titus 2 .15, proclaim these things, encourage and rebuke with all authority.

We think, okay, okay, okay, well, that's Paul telling people to do that. Revelation 3 .19,

here's Jesus speaking, as many as I love, I rebuke and discipline.

So be zealous and repent. If I had time, and we don't have that kind of time this morning,

I would sprint through Proverbs to show you all the times that Proverbs talks about rebuking people. You should rebuke the wise person so he can be wiser, rebuke the fool so that he can hopefully become wise.

Everybody's holding a book of Proverbs. So here's the problem we've landed on.

Have we found a contradiction in the Bible? Because here's Paul saying, don't rebuke an older man.

And by extension, he's saying don't, that verb carries to all the other groups he talks about. So Paul's saying, don't rebuke.

And in other places, he's saying, you should rebuke. Have I created enough of a problem this morning?

I mean, does this one passage override all of those other passages I just read to you, and the many other ones that you'll find in the

Bible? Well, this is a sermon, not a lecture. So I'm not going to give you a whole technical thing about how we interpret the

Bible and deal with apparent contradictions. If you want that, join us on Wednesday night.

I can get into way more technical detail about all of that. But I'm going to give you just a simple key when you read passages of the

Bible, and it seems to be a contradiction. One thing you can do, there are lots of things you can do, but one thing you can do is this.

If the same English word appears, remember the Bible wasn't written in English.

So check the original language. Meaning I don't know Greek. Well, there are tools you can use that can help you with that.

So I did. I decided to take a look and see what's going on in this passage.

And I found something rather interesting. Can I share with you the sort of nerdy things I found this week? The word that's used for rebuke here is not the regular word that's used in your

New Testament. Actually, there's about two or three of them that are used way more frequently. Do you know how many times this word is used?

Anyone want to guess? One time. Only here. It's not the standard word for rebuke.

But while it's not the standard word for rebuke, if you've been with us in our study of First Timothy, you've heard me use this word. You just didn't know we used it.

So First Timothy 3 .3, remember what Paul said about an overseer? He said, an overseer of First Timothy 3 .3

should not be an excessive drinker, not a bully. That's the noun form of this word.

It kind of carries me in English. We have a phrase that we use for this in modern English anyway. We say that somebody is giving out a verbal beat down.

In fact, we've in recent years, as we've gone on our understanding of what abuse looks like, we talk about verbal abuse.

It's that kind of idea. In this passage, Paul is not saying never ever rebuke someone.

What he's saying is, Timothy, you don't maintain standards to catch this verbally beating down people.

Because again, Timothy doesn't, excuse me, Paul doesn't tell Timothy don't address things. He doesn't say what sometimes we may be tempted to do.

You know, just be nice. Let people figure it out. You don't have to say something about that.

Don't be that guy. I've heard a lot in my life. Kofi, don't make it awkward.

I used to joke with one of my friends back home. He'd say, Kofi, you're always making things awkward. Like we're Christians. Life is already awkward.

Yes, it comes with the territory. Timothy was to say something, but the key is in the other word

Paul uses, he says, no, you don't go handing out verbal beat downs. Timothy's as it were, your tongue doesn't need a boxing glove at the end of it.

Because look what he says. First one, he says, don't rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father.

Timothy, you do not verbally beat people down. You don't, as it were, beat people with your words into submission.

That's how you deal with people who may be going wrong. He says, you don't verbally beat them down.

Catch this. You come alongside them. That's actually what this word exhort means.

It's a standard New Testament word that's often translated encourage. To come alongside somebody.

Timothy was to come alongside the people of God and to help them along in their pursuit of godly behavior.

And yes, he was going to say some pointed things. And we're going to see Paul say some pointed things as we walk through this section in first Timothy.

But in saying pointed things, Timothy was to speak pointed truths.

Catch this in a personable way. Rebukes will happen.

Sometimes you're going to have to say that's wrong. I think our culture kind of, at times, is the other way where we'll kind of not say something is wrong because who wants to be that person?

It's always pretty for the person who's doing it. And let's be honest, as human beings, who likes being told that they're wrong?

None of us like being told, even when we are wrong. Like we may all be, again, we're in church.

You shouldn't tell lies. How many of us have had somebody tell us like, you're wrong. You know, you're wrong.

Not just the person who's telling you, you, if you're honest with yourself, as my mom would say, if you told the truth and shame the devil, you know, yeah,

I'm dead wrong. I ain't letting them know that though. None of us like being told we're wrong.

And let's be honest, most of us don't like telling people that they're wrong. But when the opportunity arises, when we have to, as it were, speak to something and speak to someone and say, this is not right.

When that is done, the Bible helps us to understand that that should be done in a spirit of, catch this, support and care, not abuse and anger.

Here's how Paul puts it in another one of his letters. 1st Timothy 5 .14, we exhort you brothers and sisters, warm those who are idle, literally the out of order, comfort the discouraged, help the weak.

Here's the part I always have to remind myself of, be patient with everyone.

Yes, you warm those who are living in ways that are out of order. Yes, you comfort those who are discouraged, literally the small sold.

Yes, you help those who are weak. But here's the thing, even as you minister to all those groups, you know what you do?

You are patient with everyone. Timothy was to maintain standards, but he was to do so through the standard of gracious rebuke.

And here's the thing, all godly leaders will at times have to maintain standards, both spiritually and practically.

But here's the thing, we do not do so through intimidation or verbal violence.

We do so in the spirit of grace. As with most of life, the key here is balance.

Yes, we have standards and we pursue excellence in everything. And yet we pursue those standards, we maintain those standards graciously.

It's not an either or, it's not either have standards or have no standards. It's not be truth people or grace people.

It's not be right or be loving. It's not an either or.

But this is, it's a both and. That's the first standard that we have to keep in mind when we confront sin, that we want to do so with gracious rebuke.

But there's a second standard we have to maintain as we confront sin. And it's secondly, the standard of family love, the standard of family love.

So Paul tells Timothy, the best one again, don't rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father.

And he goes on and says, again, you can, those two verbs you can give to all of these. So don't rebuke younger, excuse me, don't rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, exhort younger men as brothers, exhort older women as mothers, exhort the younger women as sisters with all purity.

How was Timothy supposed to come alongside? If this is what this word means, if he's supposed to come alongside these believers, how is he supposed to come alongside believers in the church to help them walk in line with the truth?

He was to do so remembering that, catch this, the church is a spiritual family.

The church is a spiritual family. As one writer put it, quote, within the framework of believers' love for each other is a very necessary and often overlooked element, the confrontation of sin.

In the church, as in the family, disobedience must be dealt with. That is a mark of a loving family.

True love cares that others enjoy the blessing of God and prosper spiritually. Because of that, true love does not hesitate to confront sin.

You know this from your own families. Families have to have tough conversations sometimes.

Sometimes you have to talk about things that aren't necessarily the most pleasant and the most happy, but we all know that the toughest conversations happen in a spirit of love and mutual care for one another.

The reality is, if you want to genuinely love someone, that's going to require telling them the truth.

But here's the thing, the truth comes better when people know that you love them. So Paul says,

Timothy, yes, you are called to exhort, but you don't just exhort, you exhort with a mindset of familial, of family love.

There's really two features to this. First of all, there's a reality that every member of the family should be addressed.

Every member of the family should be addressed. So did you notice that Paul has four groups that he mentions here?

So he mentions verse one, older men, and then verse one, younger men, verse two, older women, and the younger women.

If you're taking notes, Titus chapter two, verses one through six, Paul addresses the same four groups and tells

Titus in a very different context that these are the people you need to deal with in the life of the church.

Because the reality is, in every church, you're going to have these four groups of people.

And every, let me, let me, let me, let me double back for a second. In every healthy church anyway, you'll have all these groups of people.

There was a movement, it started in this country and got exported around the world a few years ago, that basically said, well, when we start churches, when we establish churches, we're trying to reach one particular demographic.

So we want our church to cater to, it often ended up being the case, young people.

Everything is about the young people, which, okay, if you're starting a church, that's one thing.

But then there were established churches that started doing everything to cater to just young people. And then what ended up happening, the older folks felt like we don't belong here anymore.

And then what ended up happening, which is kind of interesting, and again, as a historian, somebody who likes history,

I've noticed that people don't talk about this. There was an equal and opposite reaction the other way. Lots of churches started with people basically saying, we want everything old and traditional, like we're used to.

And basically we don't care about these young people. But Paul wouldn't, honestly,

Paul wouldn't understand that if we could get Paul in a time machine, bring him to 2025 and say, hey, so Paul, you know, we want you to plant churches.

We know you're good at that. You read Book of Acts, he's really good at that. Paul, we want you to plant some churches.

Paul says, okay, wonderful. We're planting churches. Oh, by the way, you need to minister to just this group of people.

But wait, what? You want me to do what to who?

What about those people? No, no, no, Paul, we've done our demographic research. This group of people, they're the ones we need to minister to.

But Paul said, didn't the master say, go into all the world?

What are you talking about? No, but Paul, if you get the young people, they've got energy, they've got vibrance.

Again, I can just imagine Paul, which history tells us was kind of short, it's kind of looking like, what are you talking about?

Paul, the New Testament wouldn't have had a conception of a church that was single generational.

Paul says every member of the family should be addressed. The cult of youth isn't supposed to exist in the church.

It can exist out there. Think about it. If you are an older person, you've bought into this.

How do I know? If I say you're old, do you take that as a compliment or an insult? Think about that for a second.

If I called you old, compliment or insult, it's usually taken as an insult.

Or at best, you start getting self -conscious, like, am I? Do I need to go

I forget what the hair dye companies called. There was one that was always on the TV growing up.

I forget what it was called now. But do I need to go like invest in some of that? Just for men.

That was the one I was thinking of. There we go. It came to me. It came to me. I was,

I shaved my head a couple of weeks ago. I'm about to go do it again. Walked up into the mirror.

I'm like, I'm younger, I suppose. But I've just seen grey everywhere. I'm like, huh, interesting.

Why do we think it's a struggle? The Bible says in multiple places, just as I was studying this this week.

But let me get to it real quick. Leviticus 19 .32, you are to rise in the presence of the elderly and honour the old.

Leviticus 19 .32, fear your God for I am your way. Proverbs 16 .31, grey hair is a glorious crown.

It is found in the ways of righteousness. And why does our culture treat being old like it's a problem?

Paul would have nothing of it. In fact, let's take our time. Let's look at the four groups he mentions here, because all of these groups, he says, need to be addressed.

In fact, the second point is every member of the family should be addressed. Older men, older women, younger men, younger women.

He also says every member should be addressed as family. So he says older men, he says you don't rebuke them harshly.

You do not put your mouth in an abusive fashion on older men, he says, but you exhort them, catch this, as fathers.

Fathers were to be addressed with this deference and respect. Remember it's,

I believe it's the fifth commandment. Honour your father and mother. That's the first of the commandments that deal with people.

You see a great example of this. If you've read the book of Job, anyone here read the book of Job before? Remember the guy

Elihu who jumps into chapter 32? Personally, my favourite character in the book of Job, next to God, obviously.

Job 32. There's an interesting little insight about Elihu in Job 32. Job 32, four through six.

Now Elihu had waited to speak to Job because they were all older than he.

But when he saw that the three men could not answer Job, he became angry. So Elihu's son of Brackle the Buzzite said,

I am young in years, while you are old. Therefore, I was timid and afraid to tell you what

I know. It's not that age makes people immune to rebuke. But I think we learn from Elihu's example that there's a way you rebuke people who are older.

And the reality is in a culture like ours that doesn't exactly value old age. Those who are young generally don't treat the old as they know anything.

And even those who are old sometimes have this belief that they've kind of been past it. The Bible makes us to understand that actually there should be a deference.

There should be a respect in play, even when we are addressing sin. I grew up in West African culture.

There are lots of things that are problematic about West African culture. You know one thing that we don't have a problem with?

This. There was certain things I did not do.

If an elder walked into a room, you got up immediately, depending on the

West African culture. There were whole physical prostrations you did. I know because I'm Ghanian, we don't quite do that in our culture.

But I went to a church that's predominantly Nigerian, two countries east of us. In their culture, when an elder steps into, when an older person steps into a room, you don't just get up, you physically prostrate.

Why? Because they reckon that's an elder. Now granted, sometimes it could cross the line into sinful over -deference, to where you never actually confronted things when they need to be confronted.

And quite frankly, if you're older, you can get away with, in some cases, actual murder. But the impulse was right.

And some of you who've come from cultures that are not Western cultures, you know this. God has designed a world where we actually are supposed to respect those who are older.

So no, actually, being old is not a cuss word. The reality is, if you live long enough, you will be old.

No, the old, those who are elderly, those who are older in years, are worthy of respect, even when they're being rebuked.

But he doesn't just speak to older men, he speaks to younger men. He says, Timothy, you're supposed to exhort the younger men as brothers.

Where older men maybe are treated with deference and respect, catch this, younger men are not to be treated as though they are lesser than.

The idea of them being brothers is that there is an equality here. There's no sense of superiority. Yes, the leader might have authority, but catch this, authority doesn't make you better than someone.

That's what Paul can say, love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. 1

Peter 2 .17, honor everyone, love the brothers and sisters. Hebrews 13 .1,

let brotherly love continue. Brotherly love doesn't erase the need for confronting issues, but if we rightly understand brotherly love, it will color the way we do that.

Next, Paul says that he's to speak to older women, and when he exhorts older women, he's to exhort them as mothers.

Again, not much difference here between how he speaks about fathers. So again, all of that respect and deference, just like you would show to your own mama, you're supposed to show that to all the women in the church.

It's when he gets the last one that Paul gets a little bit interesting. So he says, you are to exhort younger women as sisters, but then he adds a little something.

He doesn't do this for the rest of them. So look again, verse two, he says, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.

But first of all, let's deal with the sister spot. They're to be treated with care and concern. My sister came to visit last summer.

Some of you got to meet her, Ruth. I'm very protective of my sister.

She is more than capable of taking care of herself, but that's still my sister.

I treat her with a care and concern. You know, she's a jolt to that when she was here, that she's now the number four woman in my life.

Number one is my wife. Yeah, number one's my wife.

Number two's my door. Yeah, number two's, number one's my wife.

Number two's my mama. Actually, no, number two's my door. Number two's my door. Number three's my mama. Yeah, my mom got displaced when

I had Rosie. Sorry. But then there's my sister. And those of you who are younger sisters, you know how protective you are of your siblings.

Paul says you're to have that same care and concern and spirit of protection when you deal with them.

But he doesn't just stop there. He says you're also to conduct yourself with all purity. This is the only one where he adds a little extra clarification.

The word for purity here, same word we've seen in chapter 4 verse 12, where he says that Timothy was to set an example in purity, same word.

But then that begs the question, why does Paul say in relation to this that women, excuse me, that Paul is to treat younger women with all purity?

Well, remember what we've learned about Timothy from just this letter. Timothy's a younger man.

As far as we know, we're given no indication as to whether Timothy is married or not. He's going to have interactions with women who are in his age bracket.

Could there be some temptation on his part to act in ways of impurity as a younger man around younger women?

I think there's a, even if we don't say a high likelihood, the likelihood is still there. So Paul tells

Timothy, listen, in your interactions with younger women, you are to catch this, the picture of virtue, that you should not be identified by a kind of approach to women that does not show purity, cleanness in the way you engage with them.

Like how one writer put it, he says that Timothy was to avoid the lingering look. He was to avoid the flattering word.

He was to avoid the wayward thoughts. He was to avoid the unnecessary rendezvous if necessary.

On a personal note, I'm not talking about people that are out there in the world that we hear about.

I know personally of too many ministers of the gospel who lost sight of this, who got a little too familiar, a little too close to women they were ministering to.

I'd like to tell you that it ends well and they, you know, managed to get their head on straight and nothing ever became a problem.

I wish I could tell you that. It never ends well. In 1948,

Billy Graham, the famous evangelist, Billy Graham, along with his longtime song leader,

Cliff Barrows, and his soloist, George Beverly Shea, in 1948, they were doing some evangelistic meetings in Modesto, California, and an incident nearly happened involving

Reverend Graham. He got his two closest ministry associates,

Mr. Barrows and Mr. Shea, in a room and they adopted what they called the Modesto Manifesto.

It later became known as the Billy Graham Rule. I forget which election was it that Trump ran the first time.

Was that 16? It became known as the Mike Pence Rule because Mike Pence came out and said that he adopts the same rule, which is that he never has a meeting with a woman alone.

I remember in 2016, following that election, because I was still in the UK and I was getting ready to move here, so I had a little more skin in the game than I usually did, and I remember sitting there watching this and watching pundits ream this guy for having the nerve to say,

I honor my wife by not having meetings with women alone. In fact, you know the crazy thing

I saw? People in the church, I can understand the world, people in the church said this is a damaging view of women.

This just shows that, you know, so many evangelical men just treat women as objects. In fact, there was a book that was written,

Why Can't We Be Friends? The author, Amy Bird, ostensibly at the time, she's kind of gone off the rails theologically, but at the time, a reformed and Presbyterian woman wrote a book basically arguing, we need to get rid of the

Mike Pence Rule because it's damaging to women.

I've had people tell me, I'll tell you, I adhere to that rule personally, and it's not because I hate women.

I'm married to one. Trust me, if I hate women, I wouldn't. I'm the father of one.

I love my sisters, but let's be clear, I love God, I love my wife, and I honestly love my ministry more. And so the reality is, lots of us who are in gospel ministry have adopted a policy of saying, we are careful, not because we think all women are temptresses, not because we think women cannot be trusted, no, but because we know exactly how sneaky sinners.

And quite frankly, I think it's the height of naivety for someone to think, well, I'm a Christian, that could never happen to me.

Remember what Paul said, 1 Corinthians? He said, let the one who stands take heed, lest he fall.

Love for my sisters and a desire to be helpful to them must be tempered by wisdom, and quite frankly, common sense.

And so Paul tells Timothy, yes, you are to exalt younger women in your midst. As sisters, yes, there is a care and a concern, and of course your family, there's going to be a closeness there.

But Timothy, Timothy, Timothy, watch yourself. Watch yourself.

Do this with all purity. There shouldn't be anything that can be said about you in your conduct in this way.

After all, you're addressing family, right? If you're addressing family, you want to be caring to your family.

You never want there to be perish the thought. I would hate for somebody to say, Kofi acts inappropriately around his sister.

In a physical sense, we hear that and we would be horrified. How much more should we be horrified in the family of faith?

So Paul says, yes, you exalt young women. He doesn't say you catch this. He doesn't say, don't engage with women.

I think that's a sinful extreme. If the sisters are right, 50 % of the evangelical church is women.

So basically, if we say we're never going to engage with women, does that mean basically I'm not going to minister to half of my congregation?

Well, no, that's ridiculous. But it does mean I'm going to put safe guardrails in place as I minister to my sisters in Christ.

This is to be done with all purity, but catch this. Every member of the family is addressed as family.

It's not, I am above you. You are my peons as it were.

You are my sycophants. I am the spiritually elevated one.

You lesser mortals just be quiet and do what I say. No, the standard of family love must apply here.

We minister to all and we minister to all as family. I'm pretty much done this morning.

This is the baseline. As we think about this culture of honor, this is where it starts with recognizing that we are a family and recognizing that as we engage with one another and we confront sin in one another, whether you are a leader or not, that that has to happen graciously.

This is the baseline out of which everything else flows. And like I said, in the next few messages, Paul is going to guide us through particular cases of how it is that the church maintains what

I've called the honor code in God's house. But as we get done, I imagine there might be a lingering question here.

It might be a big question here. Why does this matter? Just in case you're not convinced,

I like how Brian Chapel in his commentary on these verses puts it. Yes, he was a sermon he gave.

He said this, what's a rich store of relational wisdom. Paul gives the church with its full span of age and gender.

How beautiful is the church that has people who know who they are and then treats one another as fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters.

Such a graced family knows how people ought to conduct themselves in God's household.

Such graced conduct means that the gospel goes forth unhindered. And this pleases God who wants all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Why does this matter? It matters because catch this, how we maintain standards as God's people is a reflection of the value of the gospel to us.

Because if the gospel, the good news of a savior who has come, who has lived for us, who has died for us, who has been raised for us and is interceding for us, if that message is true, and if that message is precious, and if that message is given to God's people, the church to protect and to proclaim, then our conduct matters.

Why? Because our conduct reflects on that message. And so verses like these may seem like throwaway verses, but actually they're incredibly important for our mission as God's people.

I pray that God would help us that we would live in light of these truths. Let's pray and then we'll come to the

Lord's table. Our gracious Father, we thank you that you have put us together into a family, that you have brought us from differing backgrounds and different contexts and different life experiences.

You brought us into a body. You brought us into a family. And Father, we thank you that we are a family of imperfect people that at times we will need to confront one another.

We will need to exhort one another in light of sin. But Father, I pray that you would help us that as we do that, we would do so in the spirit of grace, that we would do so in the spirit of care and concern and love for others.

Father, help us to remember that we are a family and to address one another as such. Help us that we would not form cliques and divide over age or gender or particular experience, but that we would minister across lines to one another, reflecting the fact that you, as it were, cross lines in entering into our creation and saving us.

Father, as we come to this table, that reminds us of the fact that we have been made a family and that we partake of one spiritual food, which is

Christ and him crucified. May this table nourish our souls. May it be a means of grace to us as we come to it now.