Biblical Marriage

Providence Baptist Church

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Originally thinking five minutes, quick, but with just you know we've said this last couple weeks our culture hates biblical marriage.

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Our culture hates biblical homes and so tonight I'm not going to keep you as long as a normal sermon.

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I asked Pastor Quatro what my max time I thought you know what would it should be tonight.

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He didn't answer back for an hour so I thought okay like there's no max I'm just gonna preach and then he you know he said you know maybe like 15 minutes and so I'm assuming that doesn't include a conclusion so we're gonna go we're gonna go with that but if you have your

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Bibles tonight I know it's kind of a different service if you didn't bring it that that's okay I'm gonna be reading along I'm gonna be reading everything so you can follow along on your phone however you want to but we're being

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Colossians 3 and I'm just I would love to read the whole chapter but just for time's sake

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I'm only gonna read three verses or four verses Colossians 3 we're gonna begin in verse 18 and I'm gonna go ahead and read through verse 21

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I'm not gonna have you stand tonight but Colossians 3 beginning in verse 18 wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the

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Lord husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them children obey your parents and everything for this pleases the

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Lord fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged let's pray father

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God as we come and we gather here tonight we thank you Lord once again for this day Lord I thank you for this opportunity to preach your word

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I pray Lord that you would help me to preach it rightly Lord as we discuss this topic of marriage what a glorious and wonderful institution marriage is father

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God biblical marriage but it is something that our godless culture has perverted has desired to change has desired to mock and father

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God in doing so they mock a holy and a righteous God and so I pray tonight nothing more

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I pray that you would help us to have a biblical view of this father God even more biblical view than what we walked in with help me tonight to articulate this

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Lord beyond my ability Lord help me tonight to to stay truthful to your word pray that you be with every heart

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Lord every husband every wife every child Lord that they may see

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Lord what marriage looks like according to your word we ask all these things in Christ's name

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Amen I do want to point out I'm not going to read the whole chapter but I do want to point something out that I think is very important this cannot be understood

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I've said this before on various passages probably this one as well pastor culture has this cannot be understood or should not be understood outside of the context of the local church

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I think when we read this a lot of times in many churches or Christian circles today you would you would try to separate that when we read this chapter in context we would never try to separate verses 12 through 17 from the local church especially verse 16 let the word of Christ dwell in you richly teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom singing psalms hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God most everyone would agree that is within the context of the local church and so I don't want us to we are going to talk about the home where it is you know if you're a man it's you and your wife if you're a woman it's you and your husband and not all of us are there in that home all the time but but but I don't want to separate this from the local church and I will briefly at the end tied into the local church but Paul here he expected every

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Christian family to be a part of the local church and here he links the family the

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Christian home in the church and I want to speak on marriage tonight but Paul doesn't unlink marriage from the family the home in the church and I can't either and so I am going to tie those in here tonight but there has and when we've

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I've said it today multiple times Pastor Quattro has said it you all know it that there has never been a time that I believe the family has been more under attack than it is today and that includes marriage biblical marriage is under attack today and there we

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I think I've shared these statistics with y 'all before but a few troubling statistics regarding marriage and the family that I want to share before we get started the percent of marriages that end in divorce is somewhere between 40 and 50 percent which you know some would say well that's the lowest it's been in a very long time and say well okay that's great news in a sense yes but there's more troubling statistics that we need to look at the current marriage rate in the

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United States is 5 .1 marriages per 1 ,000 population that is the lowest it has been since the government began taking marriage statistics in the late 19th century so 70 years ago 80 % of US households were made up of married couples in 2020 that number has fallen from 80 % to 47 % of households consist of married couples 25 % of children in America grow up in a fatherless home there are roughly 1 .1

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million homes in America that are headed by same -sex couples close to 71 % of Americans are in support of homosexual marriage and relationships and depending on what poll you use 40 % 40 to 60 % of professing

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Christians believe homosexuality gay marriage is acceptable the sanctity the structure and the purity of marriages in the home is under attack and we need there there's never been in it people in hundred years ago could probably would say this of their time but in our time there is never

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I believe been a more important time in regards to biblical marriages and biblical home than what we have here we are in a battle we're in a battle for our homes we're in a battle for our biblical marriages and so I want to highlight just a few things tonight of a biblically healthy home that are required for this battle that we have at hand and the first one of these key components is a biblical healthy marriage and then you could also include home is that it is structured biblically that it is structured according to the

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Word of God as Christ is the head of the church in the head of a biblical home first Corinthians 11 3 but I want you to understand that the head of every man is

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Christ in the head of a wife is her husband and the head of Christ is God so in this sense the husband then serves as the pastor of the home in a sense and then we get to our text a text like what we have here in Colossians where it says wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the

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Lord husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them and then it talks about children and a father's relationship with their children but this structure of one man and one woman is under attack today one man one woman that is how

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God has set up this structure of marriage this is not something new this is not even something that was ushered in by Paul this is something that from the very beginning

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God when he instituted marriage he instituted between one man and one woman

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Genesis 2 18 through 24 and the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone

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I will make him a helper fit for him now out of the ground the Lord had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them and whatever man called every living creature that was its name and meant the man gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the heavens every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him so the

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Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon man and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh and the rib that the

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Lord God had taken from the man he made into woman a woman and brought her to the man then the man said this is the bone of my bones the flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become worried all of Scripture agrees to this all of Scripture agrees to this picture that we have of this institution that God set forth thousands of years ago of one man and one woman it's not popular today in our culture to stand for marriage between one man and one woman we celebrate that tonight we celebrate biblical marriage the godless culture of today tells you that it it's hate to stand upon the

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Word of God and say that homosexuality or transgenderism or other things that pervert marriage are sin as you know this world is everything it seems like in our fallen world is backwards it is hate to not call these things see him you know voddie bockham quote from him he said don't let anyone tell you it's not loving to stand flat footed and speak the truth about this issue of homosexuality what's not loving is to look someone in the eye when

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God says they're in jeopardy of eternity and hell and merely wink and nod at their sin because they're afraid of being called names speak the truth saints we can't back down in this battle we cannot back down we must take the time to celebrate biblical marriage and we must go forth proclaiming what does say the

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Lord marriage between one man and one woman now we'll put this out there living together unmarried is not the same as marriage it is sin and strictly forbidden in the

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Word of God but we find within this structure a man and a woman different roles that we're gonna get into shortly men and women are different God made men and women different it is a glorious thing that men and women are made differently

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Christian marriages they are to be structured biblically there to be led strongly

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I'm gonna go through this one very quickly but strong biblical leadership it's crucial for every family for every marriage for every family we need more strong unashamed

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Christian leadership in homes we need biblical marriages we need people

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Christians who are not ashamed to stand upon the Word of God we're not perfect by no means we need grace but we need homes that are led not based upon the 10 steps to a better marriage not based upon the latest the latest catchy therapy or the latest what what they what a therapist would tell you will make your marriage work but we need homes that are led and that are structured based upon the

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Word of God that are based upon Scripture so marriages biblical marriages and biblical homes they they are led strongly they are structured biblically and then this is where we're going to spend almost all our time they operate cooperatively we find here in our text where it says wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the

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Lord in Ephesians we have another Paul writes very similar words in Ephesians 5 when he says wives submit to your own husbands as to the

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Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church his body and is himself its

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Savior now as the church submits to Christ so also wives should submit and everything to their husbands so this submit when it says wives submit to their husbands this submit is to come up under it means to come up under it is not a less than because we know that there is equality in all of Christ for all who are in Christ Galatians 328 says there is neither

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Jew nor Greek there is neither slave nor free there is neither male and female for you are all one in Christ Jesus equal but different equal but different first Corinthians 11 3

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I want you but I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ in the head of a wife is her husband in the head of Christ is

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God in our culture even in churches today this is not something that many pastors many churches want to talk about they're afraid

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I think it kind of maybe stems from a I mean one from cowardice to not want to to take to read these texts and expound on this scripture but also from a from an unbiblical view of these texts we have here this example of and I do want to be careful

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I want you I don't want you to wrongly understand me in this example ever the head of every man is Christ in the head of a wife is her husband in the head of Christ is

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God and then when you go back to Ephesians it says in another place it says in Ephesians that that you know as Christ submits to the father and so we have a picture here that I think will help us understand this as the incarnate son and that's important as the incarnate son which is

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Christ in human flesh submitted to the father the wife shall submit to her husband

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God did not browbeat or force the son into the submission on the cross he went freely

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God did not demand for Jesus to submit to his will to come to the earth and be the perfect sacrifice but rather the son loves the father and freely submitted to his will because the father loves the son and is worthy of a submission as the incarnate

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Christ the son who came in human flesh this submission was voluntary and it did not imply in feet that he was in pure inferior that the son was inferior to the father wives your husband is not perfect if you haven't figured that out by now

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I'm breaking the news Monty's he's getting nervous he's like what are you doing what are you doing

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I had her fooled this whole time what are you doing I'm gonna if you didn't know your husband is not perfect husbands if you didn't know your wives are not perfect we must show one another grace wives because of the flesh yours and your husbands and because of our sin yours and your husband's this submission is difficult at times

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I'm gonna talk to husbands as well so don't think I'm just this is just how it goes in the text but if you are waiting wives if you're waiting on your husband to be perfect then you'll submit to him you'll be waiting forever this is

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God's design and it is good women must repent of the sinful desire to resist biblical submission to their husband and I will you know men even those in churches they have perverted this to be something but it's not as a way to domineer or control or belittle belittle their wife to disrespect their wife and take their voice away this is sinful and terribly sad but here in our text we see this biblical design that includes wives submit to your husbands as is fitting to the

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Lord and husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them for a home that is to be biblically structured biblically founded founded upon the

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Word of God for it to operate cooperatively there has to be wives being obedient and submitting to their husbands but there also has to be husbands being obedient to Scripture in loving their wives in Ephesians 525 525 it says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the

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Word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish in the same way husband should show should love their wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body therefore you have heard this a couple of other times therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife in the tuba shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ in the church however let each one of you love his wife as itself and let the wife see that she respects her husband this is

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God's design and this love husbands and this also did this part also includes the wives but this love is to be unconditional first Peter 4 8 it says above all keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins husbands if you're waiting for your wife to be perfect before you start loving her you'll be waiting the same amount of time that she's waiting on you to be perfect to submit to you don't love a perfect wife and she doesn't submit to a perfect husband but husbands you set the tone of love mercy and grace in your home that is not to say you should be weak that there is not correction of sin in your home that you aren't discipling your children these are very much a part of biblical love lead your family in these things be biblical that's obedience at all parts love your wife unconditionally through all of her faults wife do the same for your husband love her unconditionally and love her sacrificially we see this a sacrificial love in Christ we see an unconditional love in Christ for where we were sinners we were dead in our trespasses and sin we had nothing good the off to offer

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Romans 3 there's none good none do good none seek

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God but he loved us enough to see that there's nothing we could do there was no good in us and so we sent his son and his son was the perfect representation of sacrificial love that all those who repent of their sins and trust in him might be saved husbands love your wives sacrificially you have a role of service not superiority you have the role of service love and leadership not dictatorship if your wife is a believer you should respect her counsel you're responsible for leading but if your wife is a believer it would be wise to listen to her and listen to her counsel

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I know if push comes to shove in a decision must be made you are as the leader of your home responsible for that final decision but almost never will there be a decision that you make without the counsel of your wife for you are one flesh you're foolish not to take counsel and even correction from a believing wife even when you disagree there are many times where you will have a situation you'll have a something arise where you sit down and find out that she is right and you're wrong and you that you may need to go with her counsel over your way as you're one flesh remember it is not a bit is not you versus her you're one flesh and I pray that we're wise enough to see that you know

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Taylor hey you know I'm gonna admit it she's right along a lot of times when

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I'm wrong I don't hate to admit that I shouldn't say Taylor is right a lot of times when

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I'm wrong listening to Taylor has saved numerous instances of embarrassment and failure because she saw something that I didn't see

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God has wired her differently she sees things differently than I do

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I am responsible for the final decisions in our home if if what if it comes to where we have to make one even if we don't agree but listening to her why would

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I why would we not listen to the help me that God has given us why will we not take her counsel ladies

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I'm in no way saying you question your husband's every move that's not what

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I'm saying but husbands if your wife doesn't have a voice in your home because of your leadership that's not biblical that's sinful leadership love sacrificially love unconditionally this headship provide it implies responsibility husbands as the head of your home you are to care for and support all the needs of the family spiritual emotional physical another

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Votie Bockham quote the church does not meet as often as the home this Christ is to be worshipped if Christ is to be worshipped daily is incumbent upon the home to play an important spiritual role consequently fathers as heads of households are thrust into a pastoral role you should be husbands you should be most concerned first in regards to your family in regards to your wife and your children you should be most concerned first about the spiritual growth of your wife followed by your children invest in time husbands invest in time spent often invest in time often with your wife in the word more so even than your children

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I've failed at this husbands if I can encourage you in that spend some time with your wife in the word lead biblically your children need to see this model

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Colossians 320 children obey your parents and everything for this pleases the

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Lord obedience children's obedience to their fathers or to the father mother is biblical we have you know in the

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Ten Commandments honor your father and mother that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you but a lot of parents require obedience from their children but don't have a biblical model set up at home in any other area parents aren't biblical fathers or mothers or husbands or wives and they expect to have biblical children disobedience in this cooperation of a wife submitting to her husband a husband loving their wife not that a wife shouldn't love her husband as well it won't be perfect no marriage is perfect but we have been given a gift in the

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Word of God we have been given a gift and these instructions from Paul and what we find throughout the

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Scriptures biblical marriages and I'm gonna end with this they should be evangelized and discipled intently and that includes the church by the church we see this in Titus we could turn there we see two critical components to the link between the church and a biblically functioning marriage and home we see in Titus 1 where qualified men by God called by God and confirmed by the church and biblical elders we see their role in the home we see the role in the homes of those within their church we when you turn over to Titus 2 we see the role of godly mature men and women in the lives of younger men and women in the church the biblical elders and godly mature men and women in the church they help to produce and strengthen godly biblical functioning marriages and homes some of the biggest failures that we see in homes that I've seen in my home is failure to pray with my wife failure to pray with my children daily my wife and my children failure to study the word with my children and my wife multiple times a week failure to evangelize and disciple my wife and my children father

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Ephesians 6 for fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in discipline and instruction of the

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Lord in the discipline and instruction of the Lord husbands your biggest need for evangelizing and discipling or discipling is sitting right next to you and your spouse you know

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Paul Washer was we were watching train I were watching something he said at a conference and it stuck with me says my wife does not does not need women's conferences or women's podcasts to help her walk with Jesus she needs a biblical husband to study the

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Word of God with her to help guide and instruct her in theology and doctrine to study and learn the

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Word of God with the man that God has put in place to lead her family we're celebrating biblical marriages tonight husbands love your wives husbands take time out of your day to study the

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Word of God and pray with your wives and with your children it's hard I know it's hard we're busy we have all these things to do but I want to ask you this is

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God worthy is your wife worthy is your family worthy are your children worth it is your wife worth it you may say well

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I've been married for 50 years why start something new now I'm telling you start now start now the world and the enemy is knocking at the door and they're one he's wanting your marriage the devil want the enemy wants to destroy as many marriages in as many homes as he can so husbands wives pick up your sword pick up the

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Word of God and instruct your family in it teach your children the

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Word of God teach them the gospel model a biblical marriage in front of them won't be a perfect marriage but model a biblical marriage there is nothing that should have our attention in the world more than our marriages and our families

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I'm not asking you to you know come up to me I'm asking to admit how you I failed in this area

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I failed in that area you can I'm not asking you to do that you're welcome to we'll pray for you but to be honest

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I've failed as a husband I have a wonderful wife

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I'm so thankful for she's failed as a wife husbands in here you have all failed as a husband in some form or fashion wives in here you have all failed as a wife in some form or fashion we failed but there's grace there is marvelous and wonderful grace husbands if you failed in loving your wives biblically why is it wives if you failed in respecting your husband and submitting to your husband as we see instructed in the

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Word there's grace go to Christ repent of your failures repent of your sins and go to Christ because there's nothing there's no one more for you for biblical homes biblical marriages biblical families than God he is for you in this and tonight we celebrate that we celebrate that what the world has tried to pervert what the world has tried to twist what the world has tried to say what is a man what is a woman what the world has tried to say you know love is love marry who you want we clap back we hold out the

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Word of God and we say this is what we stand upon this and this alone we will not cower in the face of the attack on biblical homes and biblical marriages we will draw the sword of the

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Spirit we will draw the Word of God and we will proclaim this is what a biblical marriage looks like this is what a biblical home looks like we are not perfect we experience grace and we must give grace we stand upon the