Biblical Counseling (part 15)

Bethlehem Bible Church

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we thank you for this beautiful day you've given us. We thank you for your word. We thank you for the new life that you've given us.

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And we thank you for your counsel in your word. Help us, O Lord, to seek it eagerly, to devour it, to be immersed in it, and to be changed by it.

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We thank you in Jesus' name. Amen. All right. So, I thought

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I was done with Sunday school, but I have one more. So, it'll be just today.

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I was thinking of a couple of topics for just picking up from where we left off in counseling last time.

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And last Sunday when Pastor Mike was preaching from Ephesians 4, there were three points he mentioned in the second half of Ephesians 4.

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And to me, those were exactly the kind of counsel I needed, given what

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I was going through at that time. And so, I was thinking today when

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Pastor Mike preached, he gave the theological, how do you interpret the text?

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What does the text mean? What are the implications for our lives? And then when we were doing biblical counseling, we talked about putting off and putting on and how that's a key part of growing in areas where we might be kind of stuck and need the

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Lord's help. And so, I was thinking we'll just pick that text again and then kind of walk through it, but walk through it from a more practical standpoint of how do we grow in sanctification, how do we help others in discipleship, and possibly in counseling.

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So, that's my broad intent. But that said, in the last few weeks as we were wrapping up counseling, we were talking about specific areas where we wanted to focus.

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We looked at anger, we looked at a few other places where we thought, how do we look to the word for help and then how do we apply it?

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So, if there is any other topics in addition to what we see in Ephesians 4, we can actually do that too.

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So, before we begin, is there anything in counseling, general topics in counseling that we want to cover today before we jump into Ephesians 4?

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I won't name the person, but someone in my family suggested that I had started the counseling with a question and then

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I never answered it all through the series that we did. And so, I'm going to just touch on it here and then if it is applicable, even as we go through this list, we might probably find that.

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So, let me kind of remind you on what we said the areas of application for counseling was.

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So, as a believer, we are growing in righteousness as the

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Lord is transforming us. So, there are areas where we have become more and more sanctified. And the word of God and the spirit of God do that work in both informing us of who

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God is and what our high calling is and also empowering us and giving us the desire to go in those paths that we haven't walked before.

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So, all our lives should be a continual path of sanctification as we are made more and more to conform into the image of Christ.

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And we said that when we talk about counseling, there are two areas we look at. One is sin.

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So, if we are stuck in a certain pattern of sin, we are looking for help from a counselor.

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It could be yourself looking at the word or someone who is coming alongside to help you look at scriptures and then walk through the path of growing in righteousness in this area.

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So, Galatians 6, 1 and 2 were texts that we used for that. And then we also looked at times when trials come.

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Trials that are just so overwhelming that we don't seem to have the wherewithal to walk through this trial.

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And it can overwhelm us, discourage us, and then we need some help for someone else to come alongside and help, whether it's a tragedy or a specific problem that you're working through.

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So, those are the two broad areas we looked at for counseling. Now, the thing

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I mentioned early on, and I believe it had to do... Well, let me phrase it a little differently here.

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So, you have difficulty of varying degrees.

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So, we talked about the analogy of the car. You know, the car is running. It's making a little noise.

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It just needs a maintenance, you know, a 3 ,000 -mile check -in. Or, you know, some part got broken and it needs to be replaced.

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Or, you know, there's multiple issues with the car and you need to kind of leave it at the mechanic for a week. Or you are in a total wreck and the car is totaled and you need a new car.

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So, you know, just as in life we are used to problems that come with the mechanics of your automobile, in your spiritual walk you could have varying degrees of trials or different degrees of temptations that you are actually walking through.

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And depending on where you are, the level of help you might need at any given time might vary.

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And one thing that I mentioned, which I had almost forgotten in the first week, was about the sources of help outside of biblical counseling that we have.

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So, you know, one of the things that we hear about is secular psychology.

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So there are people who may not be familiar with biblical counseling, but recognize that they have a need and go to counselors who might be psychologists in the secular realm who actually look to help people who are stuck in things.

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So they might be helping unbelievers and some Christians might be going there too. So let's just talk a couple of minutes about it.

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Is that okay? Not okay? What are your thoughts on psychologists?

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Okay, so it can be handling some of the surface issues but not get to the core. Can you talk about what was missing in the core that they were not addressing?

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Behavioral versus heart issues. And so, you know, the scripture talks about sin at being at the heart of our problem.

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And if you don't deal with sin, you really can't get to the root. You can maybe touch on some of the, like I said, behaviors.

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Any other thoughts? Yes. Right. So is it self or God and where are we looking to for help?

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And what is the right problem and the right solution for it? Excellent. So what is your standard? The standard keeps changing with times and cultures.

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That's excellent because a biblical counselor is not just there to either make someone feel good or just be as a crutch for the rest of this person's life.

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Our goal is to point them to Christ. So they are finding the true help they need from the word, from the

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Lord, and that they grow through this situation. And as we talked in that whole eight steps, that they would be actively contributing, not just, you know, in a care receiving mode the rest of their lives.

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Jonathan and then Charlie. Excellent. Yeah, I think the term Christian counselor would be used a lot more commonly and, you know, depending on where they're coming from, they may lean a lot on secular psychology or more on the word.

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And so normally we talk of anyone who says biblical counseling is typically closer to the word than otherwise.

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But you're right. It's always good to examine that they are. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

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And I and in we at BBC, we would recommend

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ACBC. They used to be called the Catholic Counseling, I think, and Association of Christian Biblical Counselors.

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And they are certified counselors that are available all around. I think we have a couple that are not too far from here.

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And but our recommendation is always, you know, come to the elders if you have a problem.

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And, you know, if someone here can counsel you or one of the elders would love to do that. But if you need help, we'd be able to point you to people,

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Charlie. Not at all. I was glad you answered kind of the end of all of this, because the next topic

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I'm going to say is a little probably a little more controversial, which I think will be helpful. And I think what you said,

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I want to maybe just say on both sides. So you can go to a biblical counselor who is not skilled in biblical counseling and may not understand the depth.

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You know, just a young guy off the boat who wants to help and very well intentioned, but not very knowledgeable or not very skilled in in applying the word of God in people's life.

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And when we look at all of secular learning, we want to remember, you know, people are made in God's image.

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We were meant to discover God's universe with the faculties that God has given us.

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So in every field, you will find things that people are discovering that are right and wrong. And so, you know, we don't just say everything is off, especially,

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I think, in terms of, like you said, categorizing, identifying all the different types, you know, classifying things. There's a lot of things to be learned in terms of distinguishing between two very similar kinds of, you know, problems that might be there.

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And it's helpful. And I think we can we can certainly learn things from where what you have in secular psychology.

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We want to be and I think where we look at the heart is what I think Mark was talking about.

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And all of you did, which is where do we look to for the root of the problem and its solution?

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And so when it comes to that, you know, psychology does the best it can, you know, without God or the

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Bible. But it it fails in addressing what the Bible actually does.

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So. So this is good. Oh, boy, this is taking longer than I thought. I have one more topic that's even more controversial.

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Yes, go ahead. I'm glad actually you brought that because that ties in with my next controversy. So when we think of doctors, you know, you think of physics physicians, you know, those who are helping a physical body.

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You know, there are there are things that science has learned and and grown in over the years.

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You know, you no longer bleed someone when they have a fever. You do something else. And and science, like Elder Scott was saying, you know, we keep learning and building upon what we have learned.

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So hopefully it's tending in the right direction. But when culture kind of goes down, it can tend to follow it.

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But there is a there is a distinction between physical sciences and. I don't know if I want to use mental.

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Softer. Yeah, there are some softer sciences and harder sciences. And so there's certainly a distinction between the two.

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And I wanted to use the physician example for my next category, because even in the physician's role, you know, as your studies develop, you know, you may recognize, oh, aspirin helps.

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Aspirin doesn't help. Caffeine helps. Caffeine doesn't help. Chocolate helps. OK, just make up your mind.

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You know, I thought there's a progression. Always helps. Thank you. I knew there was a definitive answer somewhere.

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And so the controversial topic that I have been kind of teasing you along so far is on medication for.

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Mental. Troubles. So, OK, this is let me first hear where we are and then

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I'll kind of make some comments. What are your thoughts on medical? Yeah. Excellent.

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Somebody. Thank you. You know, we live in a culture, I think, where taking medicine, you know, even if it is just Tylenol for your body aches or, you know, where you take medication for your heart spirit problems has become very common.

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And so I think that caution there is well warranted that, you know, we just don't try to bandaid everything with just medication because some of those medications have both a hook that keeps you in that has a lot of side effects as well.

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So you need to be careful. But also, like you said, sometimes I have guilt over something and there is a right way to address that guilt rather than just cover it up.

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And so there are other issues that the Bible will talk about. So I think that you get to give a good somebody any other thoughts on.

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Excellent. And actually, that analogy can be developed a little bit. So if I took Tylenol for a sprain and I keep running all the time,

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I don't feel the pain. It's not going to get better. And sadly, in the physical body, we recognize that pretty easily.

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OK, I took Tylenol so that I can. I need to rest, whereas in in the psychological realm, you know,

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I don't even know that I have a sprained ankle, you know, or a sprained soul that needs work on.

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And if I don't work on it and I just keep taking these medications, it's just going to perpetuate or exacerbate the problem that I have.

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Let me maybe just build on that just a little bit. So if you went to a biblical counselor or one of the elders here and you have some trouble, one of the questions you'll be asked is, how do you sleep?

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Sometimes if you don't sleep, you may not feel that great. And if you may have some trouble, which is not helping you sleep, and that may need to be addressed.

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Or, you know, when was your last physical? Because, you know, like me, you may not have had a physical for several years and all your numbers could be completely off.

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And if we have time, I'll talk about two years back when I had this really catastrophic event and all my physical numbers were completely off the charts and had no idea.

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And it was good to know and fix that. And below and behold, I started feeling better, you know, with at least somewhat after taking care of them.

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So there are some elements of just how your body and your spirit are connected.

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And if your vitamin D is zero, you know, some of your organs don't function and your brain can't process things as well as it should.

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Yes, but I want to kind of hold you for the end. You always sound like there's so many things. But but go ahead,

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Charlie. And not just self -diagnosed, sometimes misdiagnosed, because we live in a culture where, you know, let's kind of address this.

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But and it's climbed a lot, especially with this whole pandemic situation that has come about.

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It's it's really an epidemic of sorts where people are not being helped as they ought to be.

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But but let me let me kind of tie this up. So if you were to come to a biblical counselor, one of the elders here, and if you are on a medication, you know, whether it is for the right thing or the wrong thing, none of the counselors will say, hey, stop it.

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It's not sin to take medicine. Some of these have some dangerous side effects. So you need to be aware of it because not always you may not always be told about the implication of some of those medications that are given to you.

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Actually, I read this morning that cocaine used to be a drug a hundred years ago.

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And they're like, oh, there's a little problem with that. And then even today, many of our meds that are given are similar to meth amphetamines.

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But they they are careful to reduce the risks that meth has. So so there are dangers with psychotropic drugs.

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But if you are on any of those drugs, you never, ever stop them right away because there's your brain.

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The way it is, it works is it's dangerous to stop those things. So the way biblical counselors work is just like that whole analogy with Tylenol in the spring.

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You may be having Tylenol or Tylenol. You can stop and get away with it.

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But psychotropic drugs, you'll have other dangerous side effects by stopping. But the biblical counselor comes alongside and helps you deal with the underlying root issues when these drugs no longer become necessary.

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And when they when the when it is understood that these are not needed, those get tapered and taken off rather than just kind of turned off.

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So here at BBC, you know, we generally encourage you to be aware of those things in case you are on them or if you are taking them.

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It's not like, you know, the unforgivable sin, because sometimes, you know, in Christian circles, it can be like it's

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OK. We are all fallen, broken people. And when I went through that period,

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I was I can tell you each morning I wake up. I'm like, please, God, take me. I didn't want to live many of those days.

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And and I like what you said when we started this whole thing off. There is a bar. It's so easy to say when the bar is like my comfort level.

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I can just kind of just go ahead and take whatever it takes to ease the pain. That's never the right thing. There were some physical medical issues that I needed to deal with.

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There were some thought patterns I needed to deal with. And there were things that and I went to this.

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My physician was like, all of these things, you need this. I said, OK, I'll try it. So I took them and then

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I had some side effects that I just couldn't bear. I said, I can't handle this. But my point is, it's not the cardinal sin.

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You know, there are times when it is necessary, but just be very aware of the dangers of psychotropic drugs.

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All right. I think we'll get visions for any other thoughts on these two topics before we jump in.

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The way I wanted to do it was look at Ephesians four and then see, you know, some of these things, if you dial them up really high, you're going to deal with things that need some extra care.

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But but let's maybe just talk about this if there's anything more, because it. One of the things in Ephesians was speaking the truth with brothers and sisters in Christ.

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We should never, ever feel like. So this is my private sin that I just don't want to talk to anybody about.

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We are open as the body of Christ, we're interconnected, we communicate and we may differ on how we think certain things should be done.

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But we should not be in a state where. It's like, you know, this is just the church will not.

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Will somehow look down on down on me if I were to talk about these things, it should never be the case.

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We love one another. We are all in different places and we want to come alongside one another. Actually, you know, there are some things that are just good.

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God saw everything that he made and he said it was very good. How do you finish it? I'm sure coffee and wine were part of that.

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The problem becomes, I think, where you are going is when I need 20 coffees in order to go through this frenetic life that I built.

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And I, you know, just now can't get off of it. So, you know, we tend to take things that are good and then twist it.

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And that's really the heart of sin, which is God puts good things in place and we can tend to deviate from its right and proper usage.

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I as a writer, I like he uses. Well, he wrote in Latin, but the older translations, they call it.

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I'm looking at you because I think I've shared this with you. Inordinate affections.

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And so there are affections that are ordained and good for us to enjoy. But I can either, you know, some things are just always bad, you know, and I can do the wrong thing.

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But I can take certain things and then shift it out of its right proper place and it becomes inordinate.

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And so there's there is a right place and a good place to enjoy things with a clear conscience.

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And then there are other things where they they can they can become dangerous for us. And when we talk about habit forming with psychotropic drugs, some of those things, you may actually lose control of your ability to stop.

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So, you know, if it's like cocaine, for example, that there are things there that just kind of it gets very, very difficult to stop those things once you start.

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Like chocolate is pleasurable. I enjoy chocolate. I think that's well documented. But I can not have it also.

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You can. Right. Yes. Yeah. And I think that's the distinction between like you're going towards addiction, which is sinful, because then it's an idol.

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Actually, you know that, you know, you know, for all the spiritual damages of Lent and, you know, the practices that are common in our cultures, it's actually not a bad idea to stop one of the things that you think you don't really need and and make sure that you are not having withdrawal symptoms.

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Just a moment. And so there are a lot of practical ways. Vitamin D, sunshine, and you can't abuse it.

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People who there are some images going through my mind of people who have been out baked a little too long.

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I can't speak to their motivations, but absolutely. I love that. Was that someone

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Jonathan? Did you want to say something? Oh, tell me about it. I, I, I struggled with this.

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I, you know, I never thought food would be this great source of comfort until it happened.

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How did this happen? And and it takes a lot of self -discipline and looking to the Lord and replacing it, putting off, putting on until you figure out where it is.

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I, I don't claim I know the answer. I, I know each chewing gum just to make sure I don't eat stuff at certain times in the day when if I'm not careful, you know, it's, it's, it's a disaster.

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And, and it all shows you that there is something else wrong that needs to be dealt with. And in the root of that, that needs to be addressed.

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All right. Last one, and then we'll go back to efficiency. Yeah. You know, that's a great question because, you know, the

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Bible is very clear about the black and whites, right? So this is sin. Don't do it. Do not be drunk.

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So if you're thinking of wine, the borderline is, am I still in control of my senses or have

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I lost it? You know, be, do not be drunk with wine in which is dissipation, but be filled with the spirit.

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You know, there's a, there's a put off and a put on there, right there. So some things that are very clear guidelines in the

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Bible, black and white, just use those things. And other things, we have a lot of freedom as individual believers in terms of, you know, coffee, no coffee, how much coffee, you know, there's no.

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X amount of caffeine is the sin line you've crossed over into idolatry or anything else.

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But there is a injunction in the Bible to examine ourselves at time. And I think that's kind of what

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Jonathan was heading toward, which is, you know, there is a. There is a danger in believers where, you know,

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I'm kind of forgiven. I'm a child of God and I lose sight of my divine.

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Lee ordained responsibilities to glorify God in my bodies. You know, so there are certain things that I ought to be doing.

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And if my focus is God word, like I said, there is no idol that's kind of replacing it.

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Then all of these things over time, as the word of God illumines my life and the spirit of God continues to work in my life.

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And he he exposes these things. I will be built up more and more to look like Christ.

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That's how God is intended for us to to grow. But there can be, I think, the culture of, you know, forgetting about what food was meant for and then overindulging spiritually, too.

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We could just be like little babies just sucking milk all the time and not really growing. And because I've just lost sight of what it is that God has saved me to, you know, that I might be this light and salt in this world, that God might use me, this broken, frail vessel in order to showcase his excellencies.

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And so, you know, when my mind goes off of that glorious end for which he has purchased me from that pit of despair,

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I can tend to now make all of these little idols in my life. And sadly for all of us, you know, there are going to be many different areas where we may not even be conscious of that we need work on.

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They are all kind of in that little thing. But when you get into that zone where I was talking about the car, where you have multiple things wrong or you had a crash, normally it's not just fixing one thing, because one thing might be the biggest thing on my face.

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Then two years back when I couldn't deal with certain things. But then I realized there were a whole bunch of things that I needed to work on, because I had kind of let these little things kind of grow up and not dealt with them.

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You know, something, you know, the devil's got this really nice technique of, you know, keeping you focused on one thing.

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And you're like, OK, I think this is what I need to work on. And before you know it, all the weeds have grown up in all the other area.

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And then you need to, OK, smack down, cut everything up. We need to start from ground zero.

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So let's read Ephesians 4, because I think it'll kind of tie up a lot of the things we were just talking about.

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We're not going to study this in detail. Let me actually have some of you just read this out loud.

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So I want to read all of 17 through the end. Let's read in those three sections.

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So let's begin with if someone can read verses 17 through 19.

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Can I have a volunteer for that, Taylor? And then someone from verse 20 through 24,

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Mark, and someone for the rest, 25 through the end. Thank you.

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Thank you. All right. So let's let's read this, Taylor. Thank you. Just just a reminder, if you were here last

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Sunday, you heard the message. This is, you know, looking back at what we used to be.

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This is how the world lives. And that ought to be a motivation. If I'm some idol has kind of crept in in terms of how not to think, you know, what are the things that I don't want to remember?

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And then, Mark, thank you. And this is the positional state of the believer. And you want to be a little careful here because there is this put off, put on language here.

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But here, Paul is reminding the Ephesians of something that has already happened. He's like, remember what happened to you. And it is the self that is put on and put off.

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This is your identity. There was a old Pradeep that was put off when

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God saved me. And I have a new Pradeep that's different than the other.

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There is no more, you know, that one is dead and gone.

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And then there are other things that we will now have to actively work toward growing in sanctification, which we will see in the next section.

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And that's Becky. Thank you. And here you can just see those contrasts.

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You know, here is the areas of sin that you not in your old self, but in the flesh may be tempted to sin.

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And here is the way in which you want to put these things off. And then there are other things in Christ that you have, which you want to enjoy and cherish and grow in.

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And so that is how we grow in maturity as a believer. I'm sorry, we didn't get to dive deeper into this, but I was

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I think the conversations we had this morning were helpful. So any final thoughts before we wrap up?

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All right, let's pray. Our loving Father, we thank you for saving us.

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Lord, we know how it was for our minds to be darkened, unable to see you and the hope and the joy that you give.

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And so, Father, as believers here, we pray that you would bring to our mind those things that still creep up and grow and tend to choke the word.

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Help us, O Father, to put off those things. Help us to remember what you have done for us. And, O Father, I pray that you would also enable us to actively seek out and grow in those areas that you would want us to grow in, even as we see them exemplified in Christ.