Does A Husband Have to Earn His Conjugal Rights?

And God's not going to look at the man and say, Hey, you know what? Like I commanded you to provide for her, but she's kind of a miserable life-sucking abyss from which there's no escape. So you're good.

Warning. The following message may be offensive to some audiences. These audiences may include, but are not limited to professing Christians who never read their Bible, sissies, sodomites, men with man buns, those who approve of men with man buns, man bun enablers, white knights for men with man buns, homemakers who have finished Netflix, but don't know how to meal plan, and people who refer to their pets as fur babies, your discretion is advised.

Christ Alone, Judgment, and the Coming House That Stands

People are tired of hearing nothing but doom and despair on the radio.

The message of Christianity is that salvation is found in Christ alone. And any who reject Christ, therefore forfeit any hope of salvation. Any hope of heaven.

The issue is that humanity is in sin and the wrath of almighty God is hanging over our head. They will hear his words. They will not act upon them. And when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed and they will perish.

God wrapped himself in flesh, condescended and became a man, died on the cross for sin, was resurrected on the third day, has ascended to the right hand of the father, where he sits now to make intercession for us.

Jesus is saying there is a group of people who will hear his words. They will act upon them. And when the floods of divine judgment come in that final day, their house will stand.

The Question of Conjugal Rights in Marriage

Welcome to Bible bash, where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions you're not allowed to ask. We're your host Harrison Kerrigan, Pastor Tim Mullett, and today we'll answer the age old question, does a husband have to earn his conjugal rights?

And Tim, I got to say that this is a bit of a funny question, uh, from my perspective, just because it sounds very. Contradictive in its nature, uh, to say, you know, here's this right that you have, uh, to this specific thing and you have to earn it still, right?

That doesn't sound very much like a right to me. That sounds more like a, um, you know, like some sort of, you know, I guess like a privilege basically that you're trying to earn for yourself as opposed to a right.

Um, so it seems, it seems pretty strange to say, Hey husband, you know, if you want to gain access to your wife in this way, you've got to do X, Y, and Z. You know, you're already married. You know, we're already, we're not talking about like the, you know, set up the wedding ceremony or, you know, find a place to live so that you can get married, get a job so that you can get married.

We're talking about husband and wife already married. And for some reason, the husband is, is having to earn, you know, what, what the Bible says is owed to him, right? So that's weird. That's weird, right?

It should be weird. Yeah. I mean, so this is coming from first Corinthians seven, essentially. So this is a passage just talking about conjugal rights and, you know, conjugal rights are something that are owed to a husband and to a wife in this way.

But, um, you know, essentially, uh, I'll read first Corinthians seven real quick and that'll get us into the discussion. But first Corinthians seven, one says now concerning the matters about what you wrote, it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.

So what the, um, you know, the Corinthians were being tempted with was a, you know, I think as a proto form of Gnosticism, essentially that thought that, uh, spiritual was good and the material was bad.

And so, uh, they were under the impression that it was an unspiritual act to have sex with a woman in that way. Um, and that's what they're being told by these false teachers. And so they're writing to Paul and asking him, you know, is this right?

Essentially, is it good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman? But Paul responds by saying, but because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman, her own husband.

And then he starts with the husband first, which is a little bit surprising. Uh, but that's related to the question they're asking. The husband should give to his wife or conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband.

So it's not fundamentally unspiritual to have sex because that's a carnal act or something like that. No, the husband should give to his wife, to his wife or conjugal rights and likewise wife to her husband.

For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time that you may devote yourself to prayer, but then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

But like the issue is the Bible is talking about sex within marriage as a conjugal right. It's describing it in the language of rights, but then for the vast majority of people, this is almost incomprehensible.

I mean, they conceive of, um, you know, sex within the context of marriage as a, if anything, a conjugal privilege, basically. So getting married, um, in their minds gives you the privilege of being able to have sex provided that both people want to in that moment.

And if not, then, you know, obviously you would want to, you know, exercise your conjugal rights in any way. And, you know, and then it is something that you need to continually earn, you know? So, um, if, um, a woman doesn't feel love in particular, that's typically how it goes.

Then she can just say no, because, you know, part of it's like the whole, you know, my body, my choice kind of thing, the issue of bodily autonomy and all that. And we can talk about a lot of those things, but yes, for the most, for the minds of most people, they don't even realize that this expression conjugal rights is in here.

They view this as more of a conjugal privilege kind of thing. But then if you're actually looking at the, the expression itself, like a right is a right, regardless of, um, like it, right. It's not something you have to continually earn that.

And that's kind of your point, um, along those lines, it's a right, it's a right, you know, it's not something that you have to earn right away.

Yeah, it feels, it feels weird and obviously contradictory. So I guess maybe go into some more about like, why are, why are we even, why are we at a place where we don't even view this as a right? And there are even Christians out there who are trying to argue that it isn't a right.

Well, I mean, a lot of them, a lot of them literally have never read this verse in the Bible. So I mean, we're at an all time low as far as biblical ignorance. And I mean, this is like deeply problematic to our culture, um, in a wide variety of ways.

And so this is just, uh, it goes against the Me Too culture. It goes against, um, women's rights movement. I mean, it goes like it's, this is just deeply offensive and problematic in a wide variety of ways.

But I mean, like this is something that the Bible is asserting as right. And, you know, the Greek word for that is off a lane essentially. And this word off a lane means, um, you know, there's two, um, main usages of this in the Bible.

One, the first is that which one owes in a financial sense or an obligation, and that would make people like insane with anger, hearing about it like that, that which is one owes in the financial sense and the obligation.

So that like marriage is like legalized prostitution in that way. But no, I mean like the second sense is that which one ought to do or a duty, right? Uh, so that which one ought to do or duty and of this usage, it's, um, of that, which is appropriate in social relationships and obligation of pleasing one's spouse conjugally.

So in this way, like it is a duty, like, which isn't any better. Right. So it's not any better. Right. So we haven't moved into good territory, but the problem,.

They feel like, they feel like they should be cuss words, you know, for some people probably.

Right. Right. But like, so part of the problem here is like, if you're trying to answer this question is, uh, should a husband have to earn his conjugal rights? And the answer is obviously no. If a conjugal right is anything like no is the answer.

Like the answer is no, but then there's a lot of things that people hear when you say that, that you may not be actually saying. And so like, we're going to have to talk through what is not being said at that point, but then just answering the basic question, the answer is no.

Like a husband doesn't have to earn his conjugal rights any more than, um, like a wife has to earn her, um, her conjugal rights, or she has to earn other features of marriage that come with marriage. So there's like these years, there's a lot of, um, like, if you think about the way the rights work in, um, the context of marriage and you think about the way that rights work in the context of just our nation in general, I, I, we have the right to bear arms.

We don't have to earn the right to bear arms, right? Right. Yeah. Like, so you have a right to bear arms and now the government makes you want to feel like you have to earn it by making you buy a permit and do all jump through all these hoops and everything else, but that doesn't have rights are actually supposed to work, but then there's plenty of things that come with marriage, um, in terms of like the responsibilities and privileges of marriage that don't have to be earned.

So, um, now for the most part, like, because of the result of, you know, feminism and egalitarianism on the church, we, I think conservative minded Christians, they basically have a lot of things they would put into the category of things that a husband owes his wife in the context of marriage, but they have almost nothing the wife owes to the husband in reverse.

And so like, this is uniquely offensive in one direction here, but what I mean by that is to say that in most conservative homes, I mean, very few people would argue that a husband has like a very real responsibility to provide for his wife.

Uh, so in conservative circles, like that's not really being disputed, like meaning like there's an expectation, an ironclad expectation that a man will go to work and put food on the table for his family.

Now, regardless of whether or not the woman is allowed to work too, or whatever else, there is an expectation that a man does that for the most conservative, you know, like in liberal Christian circles, it's all there's like marriage that almost has nothing that anyone is committing to whatsoever.

But in those circles, the guy could be the stay at home and that's probably better.

Even probably better. Yeah. Yeah. So you never know. But in the conservative circles, like most people would expect that like a man, like a wife is like, doesn't have to earn her provision. Right. So like if a husband were to come home after a long day's work, he's just worked to provide for his family and he sees a bunch of dishes in the sink and he were to see, uh, so he sees a bunch of dishes in the sink, you know, the floors are all dirty.

There's, you know, massive clothes everywhere. And he looks at his wife and says, well, no food for you today. Right. I guess you don't get to eat until you do your job. Right. Now, now most people would think that that would be entirely monstrous.

Right.

I mean, that would be like, it's time to cancel you. It's time to get this lady out of that abusive relationship. Like, yeah. What is your safe word? Tell us your safe word. Right. It's like twice if you're being held captive.

Right. I mean, so there's no, like, the thing is like, there's no, like, the people have zero category for this as it relates to the woman. Right. So there's an ironclad expectation that a man will go to work every day and provide for his wife.

And she is owed that, like she's owed that provision again. And if she, if she's in danger, right. Like, um, if, if there is a drunk that were to, I mean, now some of this is starting to go, you know, to go away, but like people still have an expectation that man will protect his wife.

So if there's a drunk who's, you know, held up the couple, you know, on the sidewalk with a knife and waving it around or whatever. And the husband were to take his wife and put her in front of him, right.

And shield himself from the drunk or whatever. Everyone would think, what in the world, you need to divorce that man. You need to run from that. Like, and he can't look at her and say, well, like I would have protected you, but you've been really mean to me lately.

Right. Like, I mean, I just don't know that you deserve that. Right. Like, I don't know that you deserve that from me because you just, you've been a dripping contentious woman lately. Right. And so like, I don't even know why I'm going to work for you anymore.

Right. So no one has, no one has like, uh, like with anything, the wife is owed, right. Like whether it's provision, whether it's protection, you know, whatever that is, it's not something that in the minds of anyone needs to be earned by her.

And that's just the way that marriage works. I mean, the way that marriage works is that there are roles and responsibilities that both parties are taking on the context of marriage. And like, there are, these are like, these are expectations that come with the, with the marriage commitment.

Right. Right. So when a husband and wife are making a marriage commitment, like the husband is making a commitment to protect her, to provide for her, she's making a commitment to, you know, no one knows, right.

Like no one knows, but I mean, like in actual reality, like she's making a commitment to him to be domestic, right. To have children, right. To raise those children in the, you know, like, so like there are very real, like commitments that are being made in the context of marriage.

It's just, no one has any category for any commitments that a woman is making. Making and like, and sex is one of those things that is like, it's a commitment that both people are making to provide for each other physically.

And that's essentially what marriage is. I mean, marriage is a one flex relationship. So for this reason, man shall leave his father and mother hold fast to his wife. The two will become one. Like that is sex, right?

That's sex. So everyone wants to say, well, that's just relational closeness and unity and every in spiritual unity and all this. It's like, yeah, but in the first instance, that's sex, right? To become one, right?

Yeah. Like that happens physically. Like that's like marriage is meant to be a sexual relationship. I hate to tell you it, you know? Um, yeah. I mean, which is shocking that people are so scandalized by that because everyone struggles with lust, you know, lust is the biggest problem that we struggle with sex is all over TV.

But then it's like, oh, you know what? Like that's part of what marriage is. It's like, what am I? Some prostitute, you know?

You mean you have any more respect for me than that?

That's like, no, I mean, but that's what it is. Right. And that's what marriage is not just an opposite sex bestie relationship where two people come together and just hang out and do life with each other.

Like, you know, marriage is a sexual relationship. It's not just a roommate, like a platonic roommate friendship kind of thing. Like, and so, but you know, the point, the broader point being made is as you're talking about this kind of subject, um, there are very real responsibilities that men and women are taking on in the context of marriage that don't have to be earned, you know?

So sex is one of those things. It doesn't have to be earned like that. Like any more than, you know, a wife has to earn food on the table, you know, uh, protection from bad guys, you know, like leadership, you know, like she, she's like, these are features of the marriage relationship.

So why, you know, you bring up an interesting point there, basically, you know, our, our country is just, um, is plagued, you know, with lust, right? Sex is everywhere. Um, it's being normalized in ways, you know, people probably never even thought it would ever be normalized before, like, and just in terms of how easy it is to access, um, like pornography and, you know, even, even the entertainment that we watch and consider, you know, like a, like family shows and whatnot, and not necessarily only, you know, family shows, but, um, there's certainly no shortage of mature adult shows that show, you know, that heavily involved sex as themes, you know, and them, and obviously music and it's everywhere, it's everywhere.

Um, I, you know, I, I unfortunately even see, um, like high schoolers and stuff wearing shirts that, like, I don't know how they're getting into school with, you know, um, because they're so inappropriate when I, when I was in school, you know, the, those kinds of things where you were taken to the office and your parents were called and you were told they were told to bring you new clothes.

Right. But, but we've just become totally lax on all those things. And I, and honestly, you know, I think we're kind of at a point and maybe we've been here for a while where there's a lot of things that are, I mean, it's just like, it should be considered pornography and people don't consider it that, you know, um, you know, how much our society wants sex, uh, all the time, it seems like this should not even be a problem.

I mean, theoretically, it obviously is. So what, what's, what's putting husbands and wives in that kind of position where, you know, a wife is saying, I don't want to have sex.

Um, well, yeah, I, I think when you're, when you're thinking about what is causing that, I think there's a, uh, a wide variety of things that could be causing that, um, to where, I mean, the primary one is obviously sin.

So, um, there's now, and this is sort of related to why we're asking it. If it does a husband have to earn his conjugal rights too. So some of it's related to that. So, um, maybe I can talk about how sin manifests itself with certain biological realities at this point.

But men, men just have overwhelmingly, you know, 10 times the testosterone that women have. Right. And you know, what that means is that men are just like, they have sex on the brain, like way more than women do.

And that's just a biological feature of the way that, the way that they're made. Um, and you know, and a lot of that's related to biological cycles. So like a lady has a monthly biological cycle, guys have daily biological cycles that are at work, um, that, you know, you don't have to explain, but everyone knows what I'm talking about.

So men have a overabundance of testosterone. They have these shorter biological cycles. A woman might feel like I get a non-sexualized culture at like your average woman might feel like internally pulled towards sex once a month.

At a predictable time, right? Like related to the time where she's ovulating and it's time to have a baby. Okay. So that's the way it works. So whereas men like they're on shorter biological cycles, they could, you know, there's young men who are not grossly out of shape or whatever.

They can want to have sex two, three times a day, right? Like it'd be perfectly fine. You know, like, um, if, if they got their way that maybe there may be a lot of men, um, you know, if the woman wasn't fighting them the whole time.

That's exactly what would happen. Right. But then, um, so what's happened is that there's God's designed the system in such a way that there's a remarkable imbalance between like the level of desire that a man has and the level of desire that a woman has.

That's the feature of it. Okay. And so what what's happening is that like in that kind of framework, then we have two people who desire this same act to very different degrees. Okay. So very like a remarkable difference in degree here.

And like, but then like women desire, other things have been too much greater degrees than men do. Okay. So like, it may be that a man could go a whole month and only chit chat, chit chat with his wife once, right?

Yeah. Left to his own devices, left to his own devices, like being internally compared to compelled to have small talk. You know, maybe he has like internally compelled to have small talk with his wife once a month.

I mean, women might be actually shocked by how little, I mean, they're not because they're deeply resentful of the fact that men are not initiating conversation as much, but I mean, like you can run the same, like, like, I mean, I don't know what the, you know, the current research on like how many words women on average have than men, but I mean, I think it's like, you know, three times as much words as men have, you know, during the day.

And if you think about it, like in terms of realities like that, man uses most of them up during the day while he's at work. When he gets home, he doesn't have very many left. Right. And then the problem is she hasn't, like the wife hasn't used up hardly any of her words, right?

Because she's maybe in a more of a traditional home. She's at home with the kids at that point. And only, and now she wants to unload on that man, like all the conversation she wants in her heart, right?

All she has locked up for adult conversation. He's the one that's going to bear the weight of it all, you know? So, but like the issue is men and women are different. So men, God made men to like biologically, biologically made men to want to have sex all the time.

And then he's made women to not have the same kind of desire, but then have others desires. And then part of what marriage does, you put two people together with different sets of desires like that, and that's going to make them like more complete people, right?

Because they're not just going to look to their own interests, but the interest of other people. And so like a wife has a real responsibility in this discussion to steward, right? This sex drive that a man has, like meaning she has to take that on as like, that's my responsibility.

Like I'm the only person he can be satisfied in. And the Bible tells him, let her breast satisfy you at all times. Like a biblical, a godly wife is going to say, I'm the only source of provision for this man's like sex drive, right?

It's just me, like I'm here, like that's the only one, like that's me. And like, there is like a very real, like, you know, it is like a hunger pain, like, you know, and women don't understand this, you know, at times because they, for them it's like once a month thing, but it's, it's one of those things where it's just like, like, this is a, um, you know, imagine what it's like to feel hungry every day and not know when you're going to eat again.

Right. Yeah. I mean, it is that kind of thing. I mean, it really is like, it's that kind of thing. And I try to explain this in the context of marriage counseling. It's like that, it's like, you know, like you feel this, you know, dull ache, you know, that you're having to ignore and ignore and ignore and ignore and ignore.

And the Bible says better to marry than to burn. And that's what it, that's what it's describing is saying it's better to marry than to just constantly be burning with desire. And a wife is there to be a provision for her husband so that her husband doesn't have to constantly be burning with unmet sexual desire.

Like she's there to be a source of provision for him, but then he's there to be a source of provision for her in so many other ways. Right. And so like, there's things that she needs that she, that he has, and there's things that she has that he needs.

Right. And that's why the rights. And so like, she's the weaker sex. She can't just, you know, you put her out in the zombie apocalypse, right? She needs protection. She needs probation, right? She needs safety.

She needs. But what if she's a boss girl? It doesn't matter. Like put her in a zombie apocalypse. She'll realize she's not much of a boss. Right. Like, I mean, so like what's happened is we live in a civilized society right now that is protecting women from like reality.

And they, you know, if they were just to move to the ghetto, they would realize very quickly that they aren't as much of a boss baby as they think they are.

Well, I mean, I mean, I, you know, I, I knew a lot of girls in college who complained a lot saying that they didn't feel safe walking, you know, if they're out on campus at night, walking from, you know, some like restaurant out on the, out on the, uh, main strip back to their dorm or their apartment or whatever, they felt uncomfortable because they'd have, you know, a truck full of guys drive by and they'd all start like whistling and cat calling and stuff like that to them.

And, you know, they complained all the time about how they felt incredibly uncomfortable. They felt incredibly unsafe. And it's like, well, that's because you're, you know, you're by yourself, you know?

Yep. Yep.

You're not made to protect yourself. And they, you know, and that's part of like, you, you can do the boss babe, you know, feminist, you know, stuff all day long, but it's like reality pushes against it.

It's not real. Right. So, so like the thing is like men and women, they, they need different things and God's put them together. And now when sin enters into the world, one of the things that happened is sin is like, like, like what's happened, what's happening is most of the sex stuff in our culture and our society is about lust.

Okay. And lust is a desire for the forbidden. Like that's what lust is. So like lust can be like an overwhelming desire, consuming desire, desire for the forbidden. But like the issue is that, you know, ladies can have a significantly higher sex drive before they're married because they're fueled by lust and lust always wants what it can't have.

But then for many women, like the moment they get married, it's like all of a sudden, like, and they don't understand why this happens, but their sex drive just dies. Right. So it just goes like it fizzles.

It turns off. It's like, what happened? Like what happened here? Right. And what happened was that lust wants what it can't have, have not lust isn't satisfied in what it has. And so the moment you get married, you want what you don't have, which is freedom from this, right?

Uh huh. Like, so like you, before you're married, you wanted what you couldn't have, which is this now after marriage, like what you want is what you don't have, which is freedom from this. And then the guy is just stuck with his biological.

His biological clock, basically, which is just going to go time bomb. Yeah. I mean, that's, you know, and so then he's like, doesn't understand why all of a they both struggled. And often this happens when they fail, like sexually before marriage in particular, you have guilt and shame that are feeding into it and are shutting it off too, but they couldn't keep their hands off each other before marriage.

And all of a sudden after marriage, it's like nothing. Right. It's like, well, what happened? The spark is gone. It's all gone. Like, it is like, who are you? You know, like, you're not the person I thought.

And what it, what it was, it was, you were feeding that for one, you're feeding lust and then lust is never satisfied. It just turns, you know? And so for the woman, you know, it often turns there. So part of it's that, like, it's like a discussion of how lust works.

Part of it's just a feminism discussion that says my body, my choice. Don't nobody tell me what to do. Now it's like throwing off the shackles of a biblical worldview, master patriarchy and all that. Right.

And so there's that kind of thing. And then, I mean, this is a problem for some women to, um, very, not as much. I mean, it's overwhelmingly, um, like, like women are denying their husband, making their husbands earn their conjugal rights, but then it can happen the other way too, particularly if a man is like addicted to porn or something like that, where he just grows in dissatisfaction towards his wife and, you know, and then he's like, um, you know, I don't, I don't want anything to do with you or, you know, like she maybe gets like an increased libido, you know, around menopause and things like that.

Right. And by that time, the guy has kind of let himself go. And, you know, his maybe let himself get overweight and all of his stuff is, you know, he either has porn induced erectile dysfunction or just straight up, you know?

And so at that point there can be a very real, it's become a problem the other way. Uh, but then in most cases, this is a, like an obligation that a woman doesn't want to take on because it feels like most people would think it feels like prostitution in that way.

Does it feel unloving to call it like a, um, obligation when it's a duty? Yeah. When you call it, when you call it a duty, I mean, aren't you kind of taken like all of the magic out of it? Well, that's stupid.

I mean, you went for the, uh, you went for the, uh, pejorative. Yeah. I mean, it's stupid.

I mean, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You don't, I mean, it's so stupid. Like, it's like, um, like duty is a good word.

So you're saying, so you're saying that sex should just be this passionless, like just lay there and then, and then wait until it's over and then tada, I've, you know, satisfied my giving my conjugal rights for the day.

So, um, all right. Duty, the word duty means an act or course of action, an act or course of action that is required by one's position, social, custom, law, or religion, okay. An act or course of action that's required by one's position, social, custom, law, or religion.

Um, like you think about this as it relates to a soldier, right? So like, uh, like if a soldier says like, it's my duty to serve this country, no one thinks about that. Like, oh man, you're just like a grit in your teeth and bearing with it.

Right. Like that's honored. I mean, that's honorable. You know what I'm saying? Like it's honorable to faithfully fulfill your duty. Like that obligation that you have. And like, most people don't like, like what's happened is you have like a very feminine view of the way relationships work.

Okay. And so like, if you put, if you take like a exaggerated feminine way view of the way relationships work, then like, you've taken all the magic out of it because it doesn't feel like it's a Hallmark movie or something like that.

Right.

It's not spontaneous enough.

It's not spontaneous enough. And it's like, yeah, but like, but most men, they're not looking for. Like, you know, breathless spon, spontaneity or something like that. Right. Like every day has to be a new magical encounter.

It has to be a new Hallmark movie.

It does. I mean, that's not the way like reality work. It doesn't work that way. Right. And that's not like, so it is not a word that you need to view as like rote duty or drudgery or something like that.

Like duty is a word that says like, Hey, um, it's my duty to protect our country and Hitler is an evil that has to be stopped. And I'm willing to go lay my life on the line to stop him. Right. Right. I'll be the first one in battle to go because it's my responsibility.

And like, there's honor in that. And like what you don't like, if you're sitting there critiquing that, because there's not some giddy excitement behind it or something like that. It's like, if there's just like a, like a resolve, like a firm resolve to do what's right, like, and I would rather die, you know, like there are men who would go fight for our country and they would rather die than have the women go fight.

Like, cause that was theirs. Right. And it was my duty. You're not going to take it from me. This is like mine. Right. And like, now, if you were to treat, like if a woman were to treat her husband's sex drive, like that, we would have good marriages.

Okay. I'm not saying that's all that there is to it, but like, there's not like, there's a lot of women who need to treat their husband's sex drive. Like it's their, their duty that no one is going to take from them.

And that like, this is why I'm on this planet, right. Is to take care of this thing. Just like my husband is taking it on as his duty and his obligation to go and, you know, get the sword out and protect the village.

Right. I'm going to protect my home by doing my duty right now. But you like, like, there's a sense in which, like, you know, you think about it as it relates to the soldiers. They're like, they're not all miserable doing their duty.

Right. Right. It's not just misery. It's not just misery all the way down. It's like, no, this is, there's a great sense of fulfillment in saying, this is what I was designed to do and I'm going to do it.

Right. And there's nothing that's going to stand in my, in the way of it. Right. And so there's like, regardless of whether or not that is the plot of a Hallmark movie or something, right.

Like, like that doesn't matter in that Hallmark movie. Yeah.

I'm here. It's my duty. It's obligation to take care of you, husband. No, let's go, you know, like, but I mean, so you can, you can make it like, but the thing is, it's just like, this is a, it is a responsibility of marriage and it's something, it's something you need to guard and it's something you need to protect, something you need to own.

And, and, you know, there is great fulfillment, like, you know, just like a soldier has great fulfillment in being a good soldier, right. You know, wives can find great fulfillment and husbands can find great fulfillment and be, you know, taking care of this duty, this responsibility, and there's honor in that.