Personal Update: A Year of Sorrow and Joy

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00:01

Hey, everyone. Just a quick video. I'm in California right now. Behind me is the

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Angeles National Forest and San Gabriel Mountains. I'll give you a little 360 here.

00:12

Just out for a little hike to clear my mind, and this is where I like to go to pray and think and all that.

00:18

But you can see Griffith Park is the little mountainous area. You can see where my thumb is. There's some green fields.

00:24

I don't know if I can focus here. You can see the ocean back there as well. And if your eyes are really good, you can see

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Catalina Island, but there's Los Angeles. So I'm in Southern California right now.

00:40

For those who don't know, I figured I should make a little video because I haven't done one for two weeks, and I meant to.

00:48

I think the last video I said I'm gonna try to put out a few videos between Christmas and New Year's, and I lost my phone hiking.

00:56

I did something foolish. I went down a mountain in a bushwhack that I was sliding down partially, and I didn't put it in a zipper pocket even though I had one, and it fell out.

01:06

So that took me a few days just to like get a phone, and of course when you lose your phone, you kind of lose your life.

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Everything's on that device, and just get it all set up. But then, you know, multiple holiday celebrations, and and then this is the thing.

01:21

I don't even know how to really even say it, but I wasn't expecting to come to California last week.

01:29

I came because I got word on Friday of last week that my grandfather was passing away, and I was close with him, and I thought maybe

01:38

I could see him before he went if I came out quick, which

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I did. I came out Monday morning, and unfortunately by the time I made it out, he passed away.

01:50

He probably passed away at some point when I was over the Rocky Mountains, and I mean, it's tough.

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I mean, it's it's even when someone's older, and you expect it to happen.

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It's still not easy if you were close to them. At no age is it easy. So, I was able to see his body.

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I was able to spend some time, and then I spent some time.

02:18

I'm spending time with family. I'm flying back tomorrow. Funeral will be in a few weeks, and I'll probably fly back again with my wife, but it's been a challenge.

02:28

I mean, some of you have asked, you know, how's my wife doing with her mother passing away, and we went through the holidays, and it's tough, and now it's even tougher.

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I'm gonna remember probably every New Year's. I'll remember, okay, this is the day my grandfather passed away, but we do not grieve as those without hope grieve.

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We know where she is, or Diana is. We know where Hewlin is. They both made professions of faith.

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They both had evidence in their lives that they were saved and loved the Lord, and so we're looking forward to seeing them, and so it just makes it joyous for us to think about the fact that one day we will.

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We will be reunited with them, even though it's hard now to be living without them. So, so that's why

03:15

I'm here. I just needed an afternoon to kind of clear my head and figure it. I'll make a little video to let you know kind of what's going on.

03:23

People are sending me things. I am aware of what's going on politically, kinda, but I frankly just do not feel like doing content right now.

03:34

I just can't do it. I'm just too emotionally compromised. I did have an article published.

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I didn't realize they were gonna publish it, but I wrote it a few weeks ago about the, really about the Founding Fathers' view of religious liberty, and I would encourage you, go to American Reformer.

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It's, it's, I'm trying to think of the name of the article. I think it's called The Founding Fathers Meet Pluralist Satan, and it's about the,

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I use the Satan monument thing as kind of a launching pad to talk about it, but I get into the

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Founders' view of religious liberty and pluralism, and you know how it's, there's really this kind of loyalty that many conservatives have to a misrepresentation of their view, and so I try to correct the record, and I think it'll be helpful just even for that reason.

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So yeah, that's out there, and yeah, there's more I could say about that.

04:27

I was actually even thinking that I could have added to it a little bit about Doctrine of Lesser Magistrate stuff, and I guess

04:33

I'll just briefly say, because I did have this thought, that we are entering a time, I believe, where this, this year might be a real test case for it, but like the time of the judges, the people who actually are willing to make a stand, defend the innocent, do the right thing, chart a course, stick to it, take the consequences, those kind of people, people frankly like my grandfather.

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He was a lot like that, and in his generation was more so. They're going to be looked to more and more, because they're a rare commodity, and our leaders don't reflect that, and I think that's actually that plays into even that Satan Monument debacle.

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It was someone from out of state who came and toppled it, and you know, I know people who are real kind of sticklers about Doctrine of Lesser Magistrate, which

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I really, I value that, you know, and law and order and that kind of thing. They don't like that, and part of me doesn't care for that.

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I wish someone in Iowa who was elected official was the one to do that. There is something about the times in which we live that kind of like demands that people who normally it wouldn't be their business kind of get busy, and I look at it like in the family.

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If you have like a father and mother who aren't providing for their children, and not only that, they're making war on their children.

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Someone who steps in is going to be the default mother and father, and it's like, you know, like a Moses scenario where you find a baby.

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How many stories do we know like that, where they're not the real mother and father, but they become, they play that role because the real mother and father, for whatever reason, can't or aren't, and so I do think that we're entering a time like that, and so that being said, some of you know this, some of you don't.

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I mentioned this to the patrons. My grandfather's World War II story.

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He was born in 1922. He's amazing. He died in 2024, so that's quite a lifespan.

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101 years old. I have all his letters, and I interviewed him a few years ago, and I have the audio recordings and everything, and I got about a chapter and a half in before he passed away, and I mean it took me a few years because I was working on it very slowly because I had home remodeling and books and documentary stuff and moving and finishing degrees, and it's just it's been a crazy few years for me, but I do want to finish it this year, and I mean it's important to me, and I think it would be something that would be beneficial to everyone really to put his

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World War II stories out there because these are the kind of stories that we all need. That generation, and I think the many generations before that, there was more.

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Let's just say if you dive into even American history, you're gonna find examples of great men, and they're still around.

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There's just perhaps less of them, or they're just not in the influential positions, and so I think if you go to,

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I'm in Los Angeles right now, if you go to like downtown Los Angeles, there's a lot of homelessness, there's a lot of crime, and I think we're entering a period where the person who takes a stand and starts protecting the innocent, they're like the default government, whether they have the title or not, and I don't know, as things unravel and become more chaotic with the border situation and the economy and everything else, we're gonna need some men of principle and character to take on some roles that may not be the roles that logically they would take.

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I mean there would be someone else who would have that responsibility, but they're not the one, they're not doing anything about about the problem, so anyway,

08:19

I just wanted to mention that. I wanted to mention that I am working on, well not right this second, but this year

08:26

I plan to work on that, and even though I'm not in the frame of mind to do a lot of podcasting the next few weeks,

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I will be working on 1607 Project stuff and a couple other projects, so I'm keeping busy, and I am aware.

08:39

You can send me things. I'm aware of what's going on. I just, emotionally,

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I'm just up and down, so pray for me, pray for my family, I was close with my grandfather, and I definitely miss him, and for me, it's kind of like the closing of a book.

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It's like finishing the last chapter with his life. It's like the end of an era in my mind, not just the end of his life, but everything that he represented, and I mean he was born in rural

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Mississippi. He got through the Great Depression, farmed, came out to California, was a carpenter.

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I mean he lived through a lot, 1922 to 2024, so anyway, there's a tribute to him on my

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Facebook page. I linked to it on all my socials, including YouTube, so if you want to go check that out, it'll give you, I think, some insight into me, too, if you listen to the podcast.

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The things I defend and value, you know, my love for tradition and family and, of course,

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Christianity. You're gonna find a lot of the motives and the reason I tick the way

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I do from reading that little tribute, which is really the forward to the book that I've started writing, or I did start writing a while ago, on his

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World War II experience. But yeah, so that's out there.

10:00

I wrote it actually last Saturday morning while he was still alive. I just knocked it out. It was just kind of stream of consciousness, and I'm pretty happy with it.

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I'll tweak a few things, but that's the gist of it. The other thing I wanted to mention, part of the reason

10:17

I needed to make this video, because we have a lot of sorrow, obviously, as I've, you know, chronicled here, and going through the holidays without Danielle's mom, and now with my grandfather passing away.

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I mean, it's hard. You find yourself just kind of emotionally sad, and then, you know, not grieving as the world grieves, though.

10:40

You realize that you're gonna see him again, so there's a blessing there. But there's another blessing that we're looking forward to as well.

10:47

So, my wife is going to be showing, she actually already is showing, so I can't really hide it anymore.

10:53

We are actually having a child. We're having a baby late June, early July, so we are excited about that, despite all the sorrow, and we don't know if it's a boy or a girl.

11:03

We're gonna figure that out when it happens, but I'm kind of betting it's a boy, and I've already started to test names with my wife to see if she likes the names that I like.

11:16

That's a hard thing. We don't agree on a lot of names, so you could pray for us with that. But I know I asked all of you to pray that we would just be able to have a child.

11:27

About a year ago, we've, we were going through some fertility treatments, and testings, and things, and we had been married at that point almost seven years, and we didn't know why we hadn't had a child, and so I have a lot of sympathy and compassion for people who want children, but aren't able to have them for whatever reason, and I am planning some time down the road, not now, putting out some material on that to encourage you, if you're listening, and that's one of your burdens, and to help answer some frequently asked questions about that.

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Even some of the ethical questions, because I had to research all the different treatments that are out there, and so I view this as something, like having kids changes you, right?

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But I view this as something that also has changed us. Not having kids when you want them also changes you quite a bit, and I think you gain some insight and maturity and a sensitivity that I would not have had if it just came easy.

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So, we're just, we're excited for that, and obviously,

12:31

I'll be updating everyone more on that as time goes on. I don't know when we'll podcast, when

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I'll put out a podcast next. The funeral, I think, is gonna be in two or three weeks. I don't know yet.

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We'll find out more tomorrow, but once that happens, I'll be in a better frame of mind.

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Hopefully, I can put out a few things before that, but it'll honestly depend. Things are just so up in the air right now, and yeah,

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I just, I can't think about it right now, but I figured I at least owed everyone an explanation, and I wanted everyone to see the beauty around me right now.

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I'll give you another 360 here, just so you can see how beautiful it is.

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Actually, you can see the ocean pretty good right now. Yeah, right back there. So, all right.

13:23

Well, God bless, everyone. I'll update you as I can on the podcast.

13:32

I'll probably put out some short YouTube videos here and there, and you can still send me things.