The Worst Christian College in the World

I came to Union to be a part of the social justice force that drives a lot of my academic.

I came to Union to learn about social justice.

I came to Union because I wanted to explore the intersections of spirituality, social justice.

The Ordination of Cherry Trees at Union Theological Seminary

Take a look at this picture and try to guess what's going on here. If you won, share your guess in the comments below. This is a picture of Union Theological Seminary faculty ordaining trees. What? Seven cherry trees, to be exact.

Uh-uh, no way. When I heard about this, I was sure it had to be satire.

After a lot of thought and reflection, and in no way related to the number of motorcycle races I lost, I finally realized that my life as a motorcyclist was a lie. I was a bicyclist.

But somehow it is not. Let's learn more about this story. Make sure you watch until the end, because we'll also talk about another Union Theological story that happened a couple years ago that's just as unbelievable as ordaining trees.

What? Our story begins with this tweet from Union Seminary. Let's put big quotes around seminary. In this tweet, Kosen Greg Snyder, Senior Director of Buddhist Studies, says,. The taking of a leaf is the cutting of the root of clinging.

When this root is finally cut, you are safe as the original body of all life appears to deluded minds. Huh? I have absolutely no idea what this is supposed to mean. Then the tweet says to follow this link to read more about the ordination of the cherry trees.

I'm intrigued. Let's go. We'll just go over some of the highlights here. Ordination of the cherry trees. In the opening remarks, we learn that we are here today to ordain these several venerable Kwanzaan cherry trees that the city currently plans to cut down as part of a controversial and, we believe, ill-conceived repaving project.

Why are these trees venerable? Because none of these people have a biblical worldview, including the faculty member of Union Theological Seminary. Does the story get even more insane? Of course it does.

And in addition to these seven, the three younger trees of the end of the block, a redbud, a younger Kwanzaan cherry tree, and a Montmorency cherry tree, have said that they would like to be ordained too.

What's wrong with you people? So these people can talk to trees now.

It's talking, Mary. The tree is talking. Tree? I am no tree.

And it seems three other trees told them they wanted to be ordained too. How did these trees communicate this? And how do these people know the trees communicated this? We will never know.

Gnosticism and Knowledge Apart from the Word of God

Gnosticism is about a special knowledge. It's about immediate knowledge. And when I say immediate knowledge, I don't mean right now knowledge. I mean knowledge that doesn't have to be mediated through a source.

Knowledge that doesn't have to be mediated through the word of God.

These trees are living beings who are soon to be killed, although they are clearly not yet ready to die. But today is not a funeral. It is a joyful occasion. The ordination ceremony we will be performing today will ordain these seven Japanese cherry trees as Soto Zen priests.

So this faculty member of a theological seminary isn't even a Christian. He's ordaining these trees as Soto Zen priests. The assembly joins in prayer, and then the preceptor, with the help of the Jisha, wraps each tree in Buddha's robe.

And this is where that picture comes from. So Koshin is a faculty member of Union Theological Seminary, and he is a Buddhist. If you haven't noticed by now, there's absolutely nothing Christian about the theology of Union Theological Seminary.

And it is certainly not a Christian seminary, even though it gives out degrees like Master of Divinity. Here's one more Union Theological Seminary story. In 2019, Union Seminary tweeted this. Today in chapel, we confess to plants.

Together we held our grief, joy, regret, hope, guilt, and sorrow in prayer, offering them to the beings who sustain us, but whose gift we too often fail to honor. What do you confess to the plants in your life?

Uh-uh, no way. Then, since a lot of people had questions, Union Seminary clarified, saying, In worship, our community confessed the harm we've done to plants, speaking directly in repentance. This is a beautiful ritual.

Ah, that explained everything. So, that's what you can expect to do at Union Theological Seminary. Confess and repent to non-sentient plants.

Repentance, Sin, and the Need to Get the Gospel Right

There's no meaningful definition of sin anymore, other than believing God has actually spoken. That's what you get out of wild-eyed liberalism, such as we have here from Union Theological Seminary.

So first and foremost, it's important that we get the gospel right, because if we don't, there are people out there, including ourselves, who will be duped into believing that they are right with God when in fact they are at enmity with Him.