Victory Over Sexual Sin (Part 2)

No Compromise Radio. Thanks for tuning in to No Compromise Radio with pastor and author, Dr. Mike Abendroth. Today on No Compromise Radio, we'll be hearing Pastor Mike open the Word of God in a recent message he preached at Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston, Massachusetts.

Now let's join Pastor Mike in progress as he preaches through the scriptures, verse by verse with no compromise.

God’s Sexual Curriculum From Proverbs 5

Let me give you six truths from God's sexual curriculum. Sex curriculum from God's perspective. I just read the other day, it's just on Fox News, some horrible book that they're giving ten year old kids about sex.

Completely inappropriate. This is going to be very appropriate. It's going to be cloaked language and it's going to be the language that fathers you need to teach your sons and I will also gladly preach.

But this is sex education from God's perspective and he's going to say marital fidelity doesn't impoverish. It's good. Number one, sex with your spouse is an exclusive relationship. And look at how he says this in verse 15.

This is fascinating language. Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Cistern there is singular. Wife only. Have sexual relations only with your spouse. Flowing water from your own well.

The issue here is this isn't common property, this is private property. Back in those days we couldn't just say I'd like to have one of these aqua pods and we're ready to go. It was a commodity to get water, wasn't it?

It was difficult. So you're just going to go down the street and just throw your water all away? Well that'd be stupid. This is a valuable possession, a cistern. This is life and death. And he says drink water from your own cistern.

This is figurative language to say enjoy your spouse physically. But it's just you and her or it's just you and him if you're a lady. And you can almost, if I was a kid listening to my dad teach me this lesson, you know what I'd think of?

I'd think, oh last week the septic company came and pumped our septic system. So I called down Luke and a couple of the girls came down. I wasn't thinking of this illustration at the time. But we dug the hole and then they put the manhole out and then they put this big kind of sucking device, this big vacuum cleaner in there and they just sucked everything out of there.

It was a very memorable occasion too because odors help you remember things. And the kids are like, wow, oh dear, this is an odor. And here's what I would be thinking, I can't believe I didn't say it.

I was so overcome by the odor as well. I couldn't think straight to teach my kids. It was a teachable moment. Kids, when you get married, God says just enjoy your spouse, even in the bedroom. It's like pure water.

It's just like clean, fresh water. Don't settle for premarital sex. Don't settle for sexual sin because it's like going over with a little glass and dipping it in the top of that septic system and guzzling it down.

Why would you have septic water when you can have Evian? That's exactly the picture here. Why settle for sewer water? I don't know about you, but I'm not really big on sewer water on the rocks. Private cistern, your own well, your own wife.

That's the idea. The French common translation says your wife is like a spring of pure water. Drink from that spring. Spanish common translation, calm your thirst with the water that flows from your own well.

God has made hormones. God has given a desire for those past puberty, with the exception of the celibate ones, for a desire to have sex. That's not bad. What the fall does to it is bad, but that's not a bad desire.

Even the song of Solomon, the Shulamite, before she was married, she was anticipating marriage in the marriage bed. Again, you can't go too far in your mind with that, but it's not a bad thing to have a desire to be with someone.

But the issue is here. It's for your wife and your wife alone. Look at verse 16. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? No. Spend your sexual energy at home. Water scarce.

Let them be yours alone. That's the figure. You and your spouse alone. Not for strangers with you. Number two, when you have the desire as a married person for sexual relations and you want your thirst quenched, God has given you a wife.

God has given you a husband. That's the holy arena. People talk about safe sex. That's where safe sex is. That's sacred sex. Quench your thirst. That's literally the language. Number two, sex with your wife or spouse is exclusive.

Sexual Intimacy as a Blessing and Joy

Number two, it's for a blessing. God is so good. God is so giving. Verse 18, let your fountain be blessed. It's not a curse. It's not a ball and chain. It's not a hindrance. It's not a drag. It's refreshment.

Cool water. The cool water of lovemaking. God gives sexual delight. I don't know when the last time you even said, Lord, thank you, if you're married, that you've given me a wife. You've given me a husband.

For partnership, yes. For camaraderie, yes. For a picture of Christ, yes. But for marital ecstasy, yes. It's not a curse. You're to find pleasure in a fulfilled marriage. I think God is so good. You can even see Solomon.

This is almost like a prayer. Do you see the text? Let your fountain be blessed. It's like he's almost, he's talking to his son, but he's praying for his son at the same time. Number three, sex with your spouse is for joy.

This is right from the text. The outline is from Proverbs 5. And rejoice in the wife of your youth. Not, she's a downer, it's all sorrow, sadness, no, different, bliss, elation, enjoyment, happiness, ecstasy.

This is for joy. There's a book written in 1894, Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament and the Glory of God.

Ruth Smythers. She was married to Reverend Smythers. You tell me as I read this, if this echoes 1 Corinthians 7, and if this echoes Proverbs 5. This is pastor's wife writing this to tell other people in the church.

She's writing to ladies about the marriage bed. Ladies, one cardinal rule of marriage should be never forgotten. Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly. While sex is at best revolting, it has to be endured and has been by women since the beginning of time.

But it's compensated for by the monogamous home and by children produced through it. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his wife only at her request and only for the purpose of beginning offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.

This is a pastor's wife. Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective if used late in the evening, about one hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtones of the husband. By their 10th anniversary, many wives have managed to complete their childbearing and have achieved the ultimate goal, terminating all sexual contacts with the husband.

By this time, she can depend on his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband. I think about the beauty and the generosity and the goodness of God. It does take no rocket scientist to read 1 Corinthians 7, 1 to 6, and to read Proverbs chapter 5 and to say, this is sinful kind of action, this is sinful behavior.

I really have three words only to describe that nonsense that she wrote. My three words are, poor Reverend Smithers, but that's another sermon. Number four, sex with your spouse is for delight, found in verse 19.

It's for delight. This is the boldest he gets, but it's still language, it's fine, and it's appropriate, it's good. A lovely deer, graceful doe, let her breasts fill you at all times with delight, with gladness.

She's a prize, she's a jewel, she's charming. These animals used here, the deer and doe, they were delicate, they were filled with erotic meanings, gracefulness, metaphors that make it clear what the text says.

And do you see what it says here? Let her breasts, no one else's, men, we're required to look away from all other parts of the anatomy that's just described, but for our wives, or to enjoy our wives. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight, fully satisfying you.

One translation says, may her body always fill you with joy. Number five, for intoxication, for intoxication. Sex with your spouse is for intoxication. No temperance movement here. Verse 19, be intoxicated always in her love.

NES says, be exhilarated. King James, be thou ravished always. New International Version, 1984, be captivated by her love. As alcohol influences you, let the love that you have for your wife, including in the marriage bed, affect you, put a spell on you.

That's the idea. The language over here in chapter five is drinking analogies and drinking imagery, and now it carries over here into drinking as well. Be intoxicated always in her love. By the way, men, if you say, I don't love my spouse anymore, my words to you are simple, but very true, and I'm not kidding.

Then repent. You're thinking, I don't have romantic feelings that I used to have when we courted, or somehow during maybe the honeymoon. We're not talking about that kind of love in 1 Corinthians chapter 13, and we're not talking about this kind of love here either.

This is just what you're supposed to do. Wholly captivated by her. So captivated does Solomon want his son to be with his wife, and by the way, can't you look forward, even if you have kids now, I have four kids, and as Pastor Cooley always says on their wedding days, I want to be, for instance, for my three daughters, I want to be the second most happy man at that wedding, the happiest being the man who had to give me the large dowry to take my children after we did 45 automatic gun lessons together for several years.

This is the father wanting the son, and I've said it once before, and I'll say it again because I think it's important. As odd it is for children as they get older to realize mom and dad have this kind of relationship.

I don't want the parents to somehow say, you know what? Thinking in an unbiblical way, in a way that Solomon would never think, you know, my kids, God has designed them to go through puberty, to have hormones, and most likely have a desire to be with another person of the opposite sex in marriage.

That's a good thing. Solomon says, I want you to just have a wife and you just reel and you sway because you're so captivated by her. Do you know why? What? That's the actual translation. To reel or to sway, intoxicated, inebriated with your wife and no one else can't restrain yourself any longer.

You just see your wife and you think, you know, this is the woman of my dreams. And here's the idea. Young man, Solomon says, you will either be captivated and inebriated by your wife or you'll be captivated and inebriated by another woman.

One commentator said, be deliciously dazed in the ecstasies of lovemaking, drunk with conjugal love. That's exactly it. That word in her love right there, you know, intoxicate always in her love. That's the sensual love.

Take our fill of love till morning language. This is morally permissible. This is good. It's right. And number six, sex with your spouse is for protection. Verse 20 verse 20 of Proverbs five. Why should you be intoxicated in my son with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulterous?

Say no to sexual immorality. Say yes to sexual morality. Don't be intoxicated with this for but forbidden woman, this prostitute, because what happens? What happens? There's going to be trouble. And if you look at Proverbs chapter five at the end there, turn to a different passage here.

Proverbs chapter five verse 21 for a man's ways are before the eyes of the Lord. What you do in secret and in the dark, God sees whether that's sexual sin or sexual pleasure. If you're married, he ponders all his paths.

Solomon says to his son, God's watching what you do. The iniquities of the wicked snare him and he is held fast from the course of a sin. He dies for lack of discipline and because of his great folly, he is led astray.

Marriage, Grace, and Practical Counsel for Couples

Give a little bit of advice and then we'll try to wrap things up for couples specifically. It is your God given command, duty, privilege, and delight to seek to please each other and the Lord with your bodies.

Couples, may I remind you that the primary relationship in the home is husband and wife and one day all your kids will leave the house. Some of you are probably saying hallelujah and it will be you. And so I want to try to have you both men and women to cultivate relationship that of course has many other aspects besides sex, but it does include sex.

Lots of times Kim and I will tell the kids, you know, we're, uh, we love you guys so much that we're going to go out tonight on a date. We love you that much because we're going to go out together. And by the way, I think couples, there is a right way to be amorous in front of your children for Kim and I, of course, appropriate only.

But when I get home and kind of grab her and bring her in close and start kissing her appropriately, it takes about, we have something called the eight second rule and within eight seconds, every kid will try to come over to us, try to get in between us and it's just like, okay, this is the eight second rule.

Mom and dad are kissing. Let's all go attack. It gives them security. So many in our neighborhood and yesterday I saw the U-Haul come up and the U-Haul was packing up the stuff from the wife because she was going to separate from the husband.

And I said to the, in my, my little girl, she said to me, you're never going to do that, right? Daddy. And I said, I should have said this, but I didn't think of it again. I'm drunk with your mom's love.

That's what I'm drunk with. I'm never leaving her. But I said, I'm not leaving because I'm committed because I want to honor God and honor you and honor her as a right way to display behavior, husband to wives and vice versa.

It's appropriate. I think it increases security in their hearts. Furthermore, let me say this. I think there's the right way that husbands and wives sit down with their kids and talk about this subject.

To talk about this subject and the times that Kim and I have said to our older kids, this is what God thinks about the subject. This is how he created it. This is why it's good. This is why it's fun. This is why it's pleasurable.

This is what God does in marriage. It's either going to be you or someone else. So couples, I think you should say it would be a joy to satisfy my spouse in this area. Husbands, I don't know what your attitudes are, but if your attitude is to be selfish all day long and then at 1030, quote 1 Corinthians chapter 7, I'd like to talk to you after the service.

We'll have a little altar call afterwards, our only altar call, and you come right up here to talk to me. Kindness, love letters, flowers, whatever you know your wife likes. I think one of the best things a husband could do to encourage a godly response from the wife is to provide for your family, to work.

I don't know if you think that's romantic or not, but if I was a woman, I think it would be. Does that make sense? Where's my wife? I think this desire that men and women have should motivate, especially guys, to be proactive in preventative maintenance and keeping that garden tended, resolution of conflicts and forgiveness.

I'll go so far to say that if you're the husband, you are the leader of the family, and the way your family operates now, it's 100 your responsibility, not 50 -50. She may be guilty, but your responsibility as the leader is all yours, and you are put together in such a close, matrimonial, holy covenant of marriage that as one man said, that closeness will either grant you both more joy, or it will embitter you against one another.

It has to do only one of the two things. Just a couple things I might say to the ladies. One, if you're always too tired for your husband, then your priorities are wrong. It's not husband is here, and my kids are here.

I know it's difficult. By the way, I'm really happy that there are seasons of life. Now we have kids that can just babysit themselves. Why don't I say hallelujah? I don't have to cut any kids' meat. I don't have to put diapers on any kids.

I don't have to strap them in the car. They're just all functional. We're just like, okay, go run around the neighborhood for a few hours. We'll see you later. Mom and dad are going out. They're just different seasons in life.

What was I talking about? I have no idea what I'm talking about. This is why I'm not really big in application usually when I preach. You should be more applicable when you're preaching. It's hard. My wife has said, when you have three kids that are all under five years old, it's hard to think in a way that's like a wife instead of like a mother.

It's difficult. I just want to remind you ladies, in light of Proverbs 5, and in light of 1 Corinthians 7, and in light of men's visual looking and all the onslaughts that they receive, it is good to make sure your husband is a priority.

I did hear from one writer this week that wrote in, said they were listening to a talk show, kind of counselor on the radio this week. It wasn't no compromise radio, by the way. And this lady was kind of miffed because her husband's propositions are too much.

The counselor said, may I ask how old you are? Caller, I'm 45. Okay, let me get this straight. You're probably a bit wrinkly. You probably have to dye your hair, and it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume you have a couple of extra pounds that you're trying to get rid of.

And your husband worships the ground you walk on. He wants to be with you more than any other woman in the entire world, and you still excite him more than anyone else does. You're the queen of his world, and you're complaining about this?

In a few years, no one will be interested in you. I think you ought to thank God you have such a great, loving husband and get over it. Do you have any real problems to talk about? It goes both ways, but I think for wives especially, if I could just give you some more biblical advice, and that is if you have been saved by grace, then I think you ought to operate by grace as well.

Work says, you do that for me, and I'll do that for you. Work says, you've bugged me, and therefore, then I'm bugged. There'll be no response from me. Work says, you know, really compared to Jesus, I'm equal with him, and so I'd expect you to be like Jesus, and once you are, then I'll be kind and loving towards you.

For both husbands and wives, it's important. If you've been saved by grace, how do you think you should treat your spouse? With grace, unearned, unmerited. It doesn't mean there isn't responsibility for husbands to lead and to be romantic and to be kind and to love from the second they get up in the morning.

I'll never forget when Rick Phillips said this, and so I've stolen it. I don't even know if my wife's in here or not. It's a lot easier. She's probably in the overflow room. Rick Phillips says this. You should say this to your spouse for the right reasons and for this reason as well.

Honey, how can I serve you today? He said that, and I thought, that's the attitude of the leader. Loving, self-sacrificial, Christ loving the church, husbands love your wife like Christ loving the church.

How can I serve you today? If you're married, God wants you to have a happy marriage, and if you're physically able to, the happy marriage that God has designed must include a relationship of intimacy.

It has to, or we go right back to what R .C. Sproul said again. So you think you're wiser than God then? Next week we'll talk about singles who want to avoid sexual immorality.

No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston. Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life-transforming power of God's Word through verse-by-verse exposition of the sacred text.

Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at 6. We're right on Route 110 in West Boylston. You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.

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