Sacrificial Husbands

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.
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No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the
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Apostle Paul said, �But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.�
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In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn�t for you.
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By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we�re called by the
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Divine Trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her King. Here�s our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth.
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Welcome to No Compromise Radio ministry. I still have this voice that makes me sound like I have a cold, because I probably do.
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But it�s not COVID. I found some old COVID test kits. Not the Joe Biden ones, but the other ones.
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And it said they were expiring, so I thought I�d just use them. It�s kind of nice to have a COVID test, and it comes back negative.
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What do we do here at the show? Well, we try to entertain you.
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We try to fiddle for you. Fiddle for me. Remember that with Brian Reagan? That was funny. Seriously, we like to about the
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Lord Jesus. What are some of the hot buttons here at No Compromise Radio? Three theological covenants, law gospel, first and third use of the law,
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Christ -centered preaching, monergistic sanctification, sola fide, which cancels out, new perspectives, federal vision, final justification stuff with your works at the end,
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Richard Baxter -like stuff. That�s what we do. That�s what we do here. Sometimes I go after people, not as much as I used to.
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I think if you look back lately, the people I probably went after are dealing with that sola fide issue, which would be
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Baxter and Piper and Schreiner, all kind of different ways, Doug Wilson, different tax, but the same papist theology, in that area at least.
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What else? I don�t know. I think that�s it. Mero stuff. I love to talk about the Mero. E. F.
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Fisher, the whole Christ book by Sinclair Ferguson, or you can pull up the old, I think 1980 -something tapes that are messages that used to be on tape where Sinclair, I think, preached for Walter Chantry.
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Maybe 1980 -something. Maybe 1980. Who knows? Anyway, that�s the kind of stuff we like to talk about, and you can always write us.
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And we do the base of briefing here. We have Pastor Steve on. Hopefully he�ll be back on soon.
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And we�re going to have White Horse Inquis and other stuff. So, that�s kind of what we do. Once in a while,
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I like to talk about what�s in my mind regarding the sermon. And that�s what I want to do today.
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I�m in the book of Ephesians. I�m going pretty fast. Two sermons, a chapter, 12 total. I almost want to slow it down a little bit this
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Sunday, but I�m not going to do it. And Paul is crafting a beautiful epistle honoring the triune
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God. Some have said as elegant and as exquisitely crafted as the
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Temple of Diana was. I mean, think about what you have to do back in those days to craft something, maybe one of the seven wonders of the ancient world.
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And Paul does that with his epistle, the letter, to the church at Ephesus.
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And it�s probably given to other churches as well. We call it a circular letter. And you could read it like you would be reading it for your church.
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And that�s exactly what God intends. There�s a section in chapter 5 where Paul is saying, �You know what?
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What�s a Christian life look like? What should a Christian aspire to do? Out of gratitude, right?
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It�s guilt, grace, gratitude. It�s important that we realize God�s not mad at Christians.
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He�s not angry. He�s not giving them these laws to punish. No, these laws are good, right?
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When I give my children laws, where to play in the backyard, how they can�t play in the streets, it�s for their good.
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Yes, it�s for my honor too, my glory, if you will, but it�s for their good. I want them to experience all kinds of things.
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And I give them boundaries, right? I say, �You can play wherever you want in the backyard.� And the backyard�s pretty good.
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We don�t live on a huge plot and it�s kind of woods in the back, maybe 0 .7 acres. And you can play wherever you want in the backyard.
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Just don�t go out of the backyard, right? Just have a great time in the backyard. And there�s freedom in those limits.
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And so too, God gives us laws to guide us and direct us. They�re no longer coming from the hand of the judge, our creator, because we have been adopted.
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We are children of the living God. We have Jesus as our advocate. We have
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Jesus who�s taken care of original sin, Jesus who�s taken care of our sin by imputation, and He�s taken care of our need for righteous living, meriting righteousness by living a perfect life.
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There are some people that don�t want any kind of merit theology. Of course, we believe in merit theology, but it just can�t be our merit because our merits are tainted.
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Our merits aren�t good enough. But somebody needs to obey God�s moral law. Somebody needs to obey
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God and love Him with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love their neighbor as themselves, including their enemies.
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And of course, that leads us to talk about the eternal Son who takes on flesh.
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And He becomes our representative, our substitute, now risen Savior, and seated at the right hand of the
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Father, making intercession for us. We call that session. So if you think in your mind
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Christ�s eternal existence, co -equal with the
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Father, don�t believe in any of this eternal functional subordination or anything like that that many people wear, and muck, and strand, and some people like that.
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No, no, we don�t believe that at all. We think eternal Son taking on human flesh, human nature.
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So His life, His eternal existence, His life, death, burial, resurrection, ascension, session, second coming.
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That�s how we think of the Lord Jesus. And of course, that second coming then yields into eternal state after that, etc.
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And so we have, you can say eternity past and eternity future, but if you just simply said eternity, that would cover both of those.
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I mean, how can we use time -designated words with eternity? Eternity past?
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Well, we understand that�s before Genesis 1, and it�s kind of wonderful to think about it, isn�t it?
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Well, when you come to Ephesians 5, Paul is saying, here�s what a
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Spirit -filled life looks like. Colossians 3, here�s a life that has the
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Word of Christ richly dwelling in them. And you talk about the Lord, you sing about the
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Lord, you give thanks to the Lord, you are encouraging other people, you�re submitting, and then he talks about wives and husbands and then children in 5 and 6, the chapters 5 and 6.
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Well, last time, that was all introduction, last time we talked a little bit about submission. And I could have talked about submission as just everywhere you go in the
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Bible, Jesus� submission to His parents when He was on earth, citizens to government, church members to leaders.
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I could have talked about submission, to see your marriage in light of a greater reality that is
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Christ as the head of the church. But what I was after was that ladies are directed to submit or to arrange themselves under their husbands to glorify
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God, because it�s good, it�s right. Men need wives and they need their help.
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John Angel James said, �Man is neither safe in himself nor profitable to others when he lives disassociated from that benign influence which is to be found in a woman�s presence and character.�
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The submission is like the church�s submission, at least it should be, voluntarily, free, joyfully, and she submits.
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When wives say, �I�m going to marry a guy and I�m going to change him, that�s not what we�re trying to say here.�
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She will change him, that�s certainly true, but that shouldn�t be her ultimate goal. And she is told to submit to her husband in what?
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Everything. Martha Peace would say, �Give your opinion, your helpmate.� Appeal by saying, �Would you consider ?�
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But at the end of the day, when you have to make a decision, and if you both have opposite views, that means one splits in the other and the marriage is dissolved, the better way is to have a tiebreaker.
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And the tiebreaker is the husband, right? It�s not like you each get a vote. I�m dumb if I don�t listen to my wife when
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I need to make an important decision, but at the end of the day, if I disagree, I disagree. And Martha Peace has some good advice.
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She said, �After all that talk and prayer and everything else, seeking scripture and wisdom from others, you, wives, say to your husband, �Whatever you decide, honey,
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I�ll do it.� Wow. That�s pretty amazing. Paul comes to the husbands, and if wives are to submit,
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I�ll use some alliteration here, husbands are to be sacrificial. Sacrificial, and when
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I say love, that�s what I mean when it comes to agape. Sacrificial, giving themselves, love and giving themselves.
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I remember Churchill would say, when asked if you could be anybody else in the world, who would it be?
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And he said, �Mrs. Churchill�s second husband.� That�s pretty good.
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I like that. Here we have Paul. And if you were an architectural person, you need a blueprint for something, here�s the blueprint for marriage.
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You want to know why marriages are in a complete wreck half the time? Because wives don�t submit, and husbands don�t love.
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They�re not sacrificial. When you think of these commands,
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Paul will not let you, even though this is in the section of exhortation, in the section of commands and imperatives, he won�t let you forget, this is not just a raw command.
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Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up.
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It doesn�t say, husbands, rule your wives. It does not say, husbands, dominate your wives.
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It does not say, husbands, ignore your wives. It doesn�t say, husbands, run roughshod over your wives.
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It doesn�t say, husbands, make sure you�re good at telling your wife to submit. When you think of the
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Lord Jesus, who loved the church and gave himself for her, you think of 1
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Corinthians 13, love does not seek its own. Well, then you just begin to think, all right, what did
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Jesus do? How did he do this? And of course, Isaiah 53 says, he was wounded for our transgressions.
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That�s sacrificial. He was bruised for our iniquities. That�s sacrificial. The chastisement for our peace was upon him.
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That�s sacrificial. And when it talks about the church and as Christ loved the church, the
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Greek word for church, ekklesia, is feminine. So here, Jesus loves the church.
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He gives himself up for the church. And you say, well, I don�t really feel like it.
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I don�t feel like doing that for my wife. Of course, this has nothing to do with feelings to lead.
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This is an act of the will. This is, I�m handing myself over.
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I�m giving myself for you. I�m laying down myself for you. It�s not time.
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It�s not energy. It�s not things. It�s not possessions. It�s you.
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Right? That�s what Jesus did. It�s not like he gave his time to the church and possessions to the church. He gave himself.
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1 John 14, in this is love, not that we love God, but that he loved us and sent his son to be the propitiation for our sins.
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Husbands, me included, ouch, how do you preach this with your wife sitting on the front row? She sits in the back now.
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Do I lay down myself for what my wife wants and needs and desires?
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Chrysostom, a preacher back in the 300s said, �Would thou have that thy wife should obey thee as the church does
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Christ? Have care thyself for her as Christ for the church. And if it be needful that thou should give thy life for her, or to be cut to pieces a thousand times, or endure anything whatever, refuse it not.�
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He brought the church to his feet by his great care, not by threats, nor fear, nor any such thing.
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So do conduct thyself toward that wife. That�s good advice.
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To hand over. It�s like when Jesus was handed into the custody of the
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Romans. He gave himself. It�s back to chapter 5, verse 2.
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Do you see it? 5, 2. And gave himself for us as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
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This good shepherd, Jesus, remember he said, I�m the good shepherd. The good shepherd does what? Lays down his life for the sheep.
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Even as the father knows me and I know the father, I lay down my life for the sheep. For this reason, the father loves me because I lay down my life so that I may take it up.
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Again, that�s John 10, 11, 15, and 17. Say, well, can
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I like have a how -to book? I read a Tom Chantry book, excuse me, Walter Chantry book one time.
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There are no such books or devices you must bear across. Take aim on self, husbands. Set your sights on putting self to death.
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Deny self. Rise earlier. Cry with a fresh uniting of all your energies for the one purpose of knowing the
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Lord. And tomorrow, the cross will be there for you again. Now, if that�s just taken, again, nudely, baldly, well, that�s one thing.
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But in the context of grace and what the Lord has done to grace you, husbands, if you just think about your sins forgiven, only that, not the hope of heaven, but just forgiven all your sins.
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Somebody would do something like that for you. What would you do in response? How would you respond?
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Remember, this is guilt, grace, gratitude. This is not just bald, and I don�t think Chantry is trying to say that.
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This is sacrificial language. Of course, because you�re in Christ, because you have
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Jesus who is himself our peace. Marital love, somebody said, is like death.
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It wants us all. It claims everything. All that you have, husbands, all that you are by choice, by action, not by feeling.
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Who could ever do that? I mean, I know I�m saying that right now. Who could do it? Earlier, Paul prayed in Ephesians 3 that he would grant you, including you, husbands, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with power through his spirit and the inner man.
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Now, to him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we could ask or think according to the power that works within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.
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Amen. Well, there we see God enabling us to obey, helping us to obey.
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As God sanctifies us, we, because of the indwelling power of the
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Holy Spirit in the inner man, we husbands can obey. And we find it a delight to obey, because we know if we disobey, we�re not going to get kicked out of the kingdom.
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This is not Damocles sword stuff. This is honoring the Lord. This is, �Oh, you mean
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I could treat my wife like Jesus treated the church ?� �Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one�s life for his friends.�
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Husbands, keep on loving your wives. It�s present tense, just like in Colossians.
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�And do not be embittered against them ,� it says in Colossians. And one of the things we think about when we think about loving wives, it�s not, �Well, she did this, and I�ll do that.�
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So, I�d like to bring up that point now and what is implicit to make explicit in the sermon.
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You�re called to love your wives, no matter how she treats you. Because I know what I do.
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Well, she treated me this way, so I�m going to treat that way. Now, think about the Lord Jesus and us. Is it this transactional?
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Is it transactional at all? I mean, if it�s a transaction that God himself does, but it�s not
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God does this, and then I do that. Or God sees me doing this, then he�s not going to do that.
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We live in an age of we love because of. Did Jesus love us because of our sin, iniquity, perversion?
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No, of course not. He loved us in spite of that. He doesn�t love wickedness, but he loved sinners.
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And he loved us in spite of who we were, because he is a great, loving Savior. This is not you do,
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I do. This is not performance -based, right? Just think about grace. Is it performance -based or is it unconditional?
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Is it reciprocal? You do this, I do that. Is it deserving?
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You don�t deserve that. No, it�s by grace. Even Benjamin Franklin knew, �Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.�
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Did the church deserve the love of Jesus? Obviously not. Calvin said, �Now when a husband has well considered and examined his own faults thoroughly, he will hold his peace and patiently bear with his wife�s faults until God gives her the grace to correct them.
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And meanwhile, whatever happens, let him not cease to act like a husband in applying himself to his wife�s interest to win her to God.
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For he is not set in a position of superiority except for the benefit and welfare of his yoke fellow.�
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So for husbands, you think about arguments and who backs down first, who gives in first, some kind of standoff.
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I deserve better than that. She doesn�t meet my needs. No, no, we are the initiators.
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We are the leaders. Love graces. Sacrificial love graces.
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Not performance, not deserved, not reciprocal. No. We love
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Him because He first loved us. That�s the template. That�s the model.
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Love covers a multitude of sins, right? There�s no good reason not to love and to forgive a spouse.
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We too, as husbands, when it comes to loving our wives and giving ourselves up for them, we see the model of God, the
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Son, sanctifying the Church. And I think we ought to be concerned about their sanctification as well.
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Socrates said, �By all means, Mary, if you get a good wife, you will be happy, and if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher.�
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No, no, if you get a bad one, you want her to be sanctified. So verse 26 says that he might sanctify her, right?
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The focus here is on the Lord Jesus. �Setting apart the Church, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the
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Word.� I think this is positional sanctification. This is sanctification that�s definite, not an ongoing sanctification.
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�So that he might present the Church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.�
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I mean, this is what we want with a goal. Now, if it is positional sanctification or practical sanctification, just the sanctification of our wives, do we want the
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Lord to sanctify our wives? Yes. And can God use husbands in the sanctification process so that the wives become more holy and mature and conformed to Christ?
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Well, the answer to that is yes and yes and yes. There�s sanctification here.
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If you look in verse 26, I like the old Jewish wedding custom.
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�The ring is given and the bridegroom says to the bride, �Behold, thou art sanctified to me.�
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Set apart for me. Put aside for me.
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That�s probably what�s going on here. To sanctify, to set apart. I think husbands can be instruments used by the
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Lord to sanctify their wives. Is she like Christ?
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Is she growing more because she�s married to us? Later, Paul is going to talk about nourishing and cherishing, so I�ll leave that for now, but it says in verse 26, �having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word.�
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Cleaning, cleansing. It reminds me of Titus. Jesus gave himself for us that he might redeem us from every lawless deed and purify for himself a people for his own possession, zealous for good deeds.
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This is the bathing and the washing of Jesus, the cleansing one. We�re sinful and dirty and tainted and he cleanses us, right?
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Such were some of you, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the
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Lord Jesus Christ in the spirit of our God. This is Jewish bridal bath language, the purification of the bride before the marriage ceremony language.
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Overall, we think about God and how he deals with the church and the son loves and gives and sanctifies.
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All that to say, this is the model for husbands, right?
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The Lord gets rid of the filthiness and the impurity for the ultimate presentation to present to himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and blameless.
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This is the desire for every husband, for his wife. This is what he wants for her.
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This is what he�s going to do to try to help her in terms of means, right?
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He�s the husband. He�s the leader. He goes on to say in the same way husbands should love their wives as their own body.
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He who loves himself, loves his wife, loves himself. Well, time is going and I don�t have enough time to get through, so that means tomorrow when
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I�m preaching this, I better go a little faster. You�re equal with your wife.
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You are with your wife. You�re one single entity. And so, if you�re one flesh, if you love yourself, you are loving yourself.
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And if you love your wife, who�s your body, you love you. One writer said, �For a man to love his wife is to love himself.
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She is not to be treated as a piece of property, as was the custom in Paul�s day.� Of course not.
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They�re one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate. Calvin said, �A man who does not love his wife is a monster.�
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Dear Lord, deliver us as husbands from being monsters. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.
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No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.
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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible -teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life -transforming power of God�s Word through verse -by -verse exposition of the sacred text.
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Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 1015 and in the evening at 6. We�re right on Route 110 in West Boylston.
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You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.