Wisdom From Parents (05/09/2004)

The Failure of Pulpit and Home Leadership

Turn with me this morning to the book of Proverbs. There are two two places we've lost where we seem to be losing the battle in this country and The first place is in the pulpit. Because if men and women don't have a preacher who will tell them the truth from the Word of God.

Then they don't know how to be men and women the way God wants them to be they don't know how to be man and wife. The Bible way, they don't know how to be mother or father the Bible way and so the next generation comes up and they're not in the word and then they become the president and the Senate and the House of Representatives and woe being to us the Supreme Court justices of the next generation and so the second place that we fail is in the home and Such a large Responsibility is upon the mother even though the father is the spiritual leader of the home.

I Don't believe any it's very difficult let's put it this way for a mom to be what she ought to be if the father is not the spiritual leader in the Home, and if the men are not the leaders in the church.

Today we see so many churches that are feminized to the point where the women do everything. Even some churches where the women are doing the preaching. Even though the scriptures say very clearly God himself says I permit not the woman to teach nor usurp authority over the man and then God links that all the way back to the Garden of Eden and says because the man was Formed first and then the woman and the woman was deceived and not the man.

Therefore women are not allowed by scripture to handle the doctrinal issues of the church and yet that's all awry today there are even women teaching the Bible in Bible colleges and There'll be young men right there in the class along with the young women.

So you have the female teaching the male and it's it's ungodly. It's actually unclean, but we don't see it that way. But it filters its way back down into the homes and sometimes the man is not the spiritual leader in the home.

And it all gets awry but this morning I'm going to assume that the church is in the right place and The home is in the right place and the man is in the right place as a spiritual leader and let's stop for a moment.

The Influence of Mothers in the Home

And look at the mothers and the influence that the mother can have and I want you to see All of the ills of our society That could be fixed Simply by young people being in a right way in the home disciplined correctly and Listening to their mothers and fathers, but particularly this morning.

We'll talk about the mothers. We went to a graduation ceremony yesterday in Longview, Texas at Letourneau University and there were about all goodness I don't know. Well, I know there were 400 graduates which was their largest graduating class to date and What would you say thousand couple thousand people.

There maybe 3 ,000 people. It was outdoors and it was a beautiful day. The wind was cool and It was kind of cloudy. So the Sun wasn't too hot. It was really a wonderful time and But I noticed two rows in front of me there was you know families everywhere.

But there were there was a family there and they had several children. They had a little girl. That was oh about probably three years old and The mom was holding her and So the child was facing me. I'm back here the child's over the mom's shoulder.

Child's facing me and I'm looking at that little girl's eyes. And the first thing I always think when I see a little girl is that's God's greatest creation. And I think I Think that's just my viewpoint and then I think isn't she beautiful just gorgeous little girl.

Little curls coming down and then I looked in her eyes and I said, uh-oh Houston we have a problem. I Could see the devil in this little girl's eyes. I Could see that she had never been spanked Properly in her life and Here she was and she was smaller than any of the children in this room today.

And she something happened. I guess she got tired of having to sit there. Of course. It's a while you sit there to graduation and She began to first just kind of go like that to to the mom. He had to kind of push her way to my room.

Then she took a little fist or kind of going like that in. And I noticed the mom was having to kind of start holding her a little tighter. So she couldn't get out of her lap. Little girl starts doing she starts going.

I said man, this is better than Muhammad Ali. I can't wait to see the mom give the little kid an uppercut you know, she never does she just and I almost got out of my chair and slammed the kid down and Spanking, you know.

And all of a sudden the dad is over here watching all this, you know. He finally gets up and I said, okay now we're gonna have some proper action. He gets up and picks her up and she just clings to him like oh Everything's wonderful.

He just pets her and takes her out the back. No spankings and I'm thinking boy. That is amazing. I can't wait to see this one walk the aisle when she graduates. She's gonna be holy terror. And that mom didn't understand the thing about what the Bible says about raising children.

Do you know the Bible doesn't mention one thing about sticking their nose in the corner? It doesn't mention timeout. It mentions one thing and one thing only and it's the rod and It says that foolishness is bound in the heart bound up in the heart of a child.

It says that the rod will drive it from the child and that the rod can even keep the child from hell. And that the parent who loves the child Will properly discipline the child with the rod and then that's about it.

Now there are some other issues in the Bible where it says the father is not to provoke the child so there's a right way to give a spanking and. But without the spanking you might as well forget the rest.

Because a human being's character is pretty well determined by the age of six or seven years old. And if it's a young man in particular, you're gonna have to be hard-pressed to change him beyond that.

Now, I know God can with salvation a good dose of salvation can change a person but character wise. It is set in place. And so the role of that mom at home with the little child. Between the age of infancy and on up to three years old four or five and six years old is the thing that turns nations.

Now it may be that if the mom's not sitting in a Bible Church where the preacher has the guts to preach what the Bible Says about it that she may not know the right way to do it. But if she reads what dr. Spock has written she'll get it all wrong.

You know what they teach in most of the psychology books on child rearing is reason with the child. Well, that's what this woman was doing. She was reasoning with her. Don't do that. That's not gonna make you happy.

Don't hit me in the face. That's not good. Doesn't work. The only thing that will reason with the child is the rod and it reasons with perfect reason don't do the thing you just did and It really does work.

God has ordained it and it's marvelous if used properly in love and so forth. Well. Let's take a look at chapter 1 in Proverbs starting with about verse 8. Well, let's start with verse 7, but really the message this morning starts with verse 8.

And I want you to see the ills of our society that could be corrected If the moms were properly instructed from the pulpit and Then went home and did exactly what the Bible says. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.

But fools despise wisdom and instruction. Now this passage is not only written to moms to teach them how to teach their children. But it's written to children and especially teenagers. To teach them what happens if they don't listen to their moms and dads.

So you young people this is a message to you too. So I want you to listen as well. Much of it is a warning to teenagers. Now start with verse 8. My son hear the instruction of thy father and forsake not the law of thy mother.

Now this is written primarily to the young men to the teenage young men. But we have to remember that God is going to include the young ladies as well. So you young ladies listen as well. Hear the instruction of thy father so this is not just an Injunction to the fathers and the mothers to teach properly because it doesn't do one bit of good if you the child don't listen if You put a rebellious era out there and a rebellious countenance and you decide in your heart I'm not gonna listen anything.

My parents say then whatever they say. It's not gonna do you any good. So there is a great responsibility there for the moms to teach properly in the home. But there is a huge responsibility for that child and listen children.

Let me tell you something someday when you stand before God and you will stand before God someday. You stand before Jesus Christ. He's gonna look you in the eye and you're not gonna be able to look and say well.

My mom didn't teach me, right? My teachers at school let me down. Or you let this happen in my life and I I didn't like it and it hurt me. So I turned out wrong. You won't be able to say one thing like that because at the judgment seat of Christ children and teenagers and adults.

There's only one issue and that's you are accountable for what you did while in this body. You were accountable for what you did while in this body. No one else will be responsible just you for what you did.

So look how it says that my son or children you should hear The instruction of your father and then forsake not the law of your mother. So as your father and mother teach you things in the home. You don't forsake it later in life.

Now look what verse 9 says for they that means the instruction of the father and the law of the mother shall be an ornament of grace to your head and Chains about your neck now that doesn't mean you're gonna be chained down.

That's talking about like a necklace a beautiful necklace that other people can see. Now listen to what the symbolism is in verse 9 the instruction of your father and mother Will be as an ornament of grace to your head.

What's in your head your brains? Those scrambled egg looking things. You got brains in there and as your mother and father teach you that's like Putting things in your mind that teach you how to think right your whole life they teach you how to think right and the Bible says the instruction of the father and mother will be like an ornament of Grace to your head and that is a picture.

That means that your head will be able to think, right? You'll be able to know the difference between right and wrong. You'll be able to know how to handle Things such as temptations when another person comes and tempts you to do something or when the world does that how about the music?

You listen to do they sometimes tempt you to be rebellious or ungodly. What about the movies and TV shows? What about other friends that are not born again, or they may claim to be Christians, but their fruit denies it.

Always be a fruit inspector if they tell you they're a Christian and they're going to church. But in their life, they're saying words to you and doing things that you know Jesus wouldn't do you have to question their salvation and there's a lot that a mom can talk teach a daughter.

Or a son that will teach them how to avoid ungodly temptations and Those things are supposed to be as an ornament of grace in your head now teenagers. I don't want you talking to each other. I want you listening up here to me.

This is God's Word. This message is for you and your parents. Listen to me this morning. I Don't normally do that, but I want you listening. You remember how it started out? It says my son here the instruction when a preacher is preaching God's Word.

If you're not given an ear that hears you might as well stay home now listen. All of you you two adults. But especially you young people do not let this hour pass and not hear God's Word. God is going to give you some protection here.

If you will take it and if you don't you're an absolute fool now. An ornament to your head that means your mind will learn to think right? Now look what the second one is. Chains about my neck doesn't mean your parents are going to put a leash on you and carry you around.

What it does mean is That you will have an ornate Necklace around your neck that the world can see the beauty of it now the thing that's great about that is because if you've listened to your mother and father and they've taught you in righteousness.

Your actions your life. Your words from your mouth the things that the other people around you can see. Will be like an ornament a beautiful necklace that shows them them that you've been raised in a godly home you've been raised by a godly mother and father and They've taught you the words from this book right here.

And that's the only way you know how to act because this world is not going to teach you the right way to act. It's like a beautiful necklace around your neck that the world can see that shows them one of two things either it shows them that you've had an ear that hears and you have listened under the tutoring of your parents and the discipline of their hand and You're being raised up in the ways of God or it shows them.

It's going to be a perverted looking necklace. The thing they can see that shows them. You're of the world you're of the flesh and you're of the devil. One of two things they're gonna see around your neck and you know what it's evident to people you can't hide it.

People can see it in your eyes. They can see it in the countenance of your face. They can see it in your body language. That's what verse 9 means. You didn't see all that in there. Did you. But it's there.

Resisting Peer Pressure and Negative Influence

Now let's go to verse 10. My son if sinners entice thee consent thou not. Now we're going to go into a series of teachings that will correct all of the ills of our society. If this were done in the home if the mom taught this and the dad taught this and the child had an ear that would Hear this and a heart that's soft and not rebellious.

Then look at the first teaching my son or daughter if sinners entice thee consent thou not. You know what? That means the very first lesson. Oh. Let me stop a minute. I meant to do this and I forgot. I want some of you to participate.

Tell me what you think three or four of the worst ills in our society are. What are they somebody give me one? Abortion. Okay. Let me be more specific though. I'm talking about. I'm talking about Acts that people do.

I'm not talking about what you know, something like abortion necessarily, but Things that people do such as disobedience, but what do we see in our society? Disrespect. What are some others? Selfishness, what are some things we see in our inner cities that the young people are doing?

What is that? Violence in what form is it usually in? Think about the young people. How do they run? Gangs, that's what I'm looking for. Now. Look at this. Look at this first one. My son if sinners entice thee consent thou not you know what that's talking about.

We're gonna get to the gangs in a minute, but that's talking about peer pressure. Do you know what the most difficult thing for a teenager is? What teenager can tell me what's the hardest thing for you?

Okay, I'll be the teenager. All right. You don't want to look different or be different or act different or have anyone think you're different than the crowd. You want to be cool and you want to be in what's the word for it now?

It's probably not cool anymore. What is it? Groovy, that's it. That's it. You want to be cool and you want to be in and you don't want to stand out as weird or different. That's peer pressure. Do adults have that on the workplace at the workplace sometimes?

How about in church you ever been in an independent Baptist Church where everybody dresses the same way? They all dress like the preacher and women dress like the preacher's wife and. That's peer pressure.

It's not natural. Those are laws that men make. I Mean there are some religious groups where they absolutely dress the same. Like you see a couple of three nuns going across the street. Look at whoa, nice dress.

They're all the same. Peer pressure is an amazing thing. Well, look what this says though. There's a thing called negative peer pressure where people will try to put pressure on you to do a wrong thing.

And I say well everybody's doing this. I mean you adults ever heard that when you were a teenager. Well, everybody's doing it. How many of you ever told your parents? Well, can I go do that? Everybody else is doing that.

See they won't raise their hands, but they're all going like this. My son if sinners entice you that means if a person tries to get you to do something that you know. And your heart is wrong. Consent thou not that means don't do it.

But let me tell you something young people consent happens in the mind first. Don't consent with your mind. Don't let your mind agree with what they're doing because if you let your mind agree with it.

You'll let your body agree with it. If you let your mind agree that what they're doing is okay because everybody's doing it. But your heart tells you the Lord wouldn't do it. And you go ahead and you let your mind consent to it.

In other words say well everybody's doing it. It must be. Okay, you've already done the sin. You're just a step away. From being involved with what they're doing that's wrong so the first thing the moms and dads are to teach the young people is That there is going to be a thing called peer pressure where all the other children are doing this and talking this way.

They're using this kind of language saying this kind of words. And it may not even sound like what normal adults say or what normal humans say. It's a weird kind of language that comes from either the rock music or the rock culture.

I don't know why I pick on the rock culture. It may come from TV. It may come from cartoons. But it's some kind of weird language that the world is putting out there trying to get you to pick up. So that you'll be different than your parents.

One of the things Satan has always tried to do is create a generation gap in the Bible. There's no such thing. Between the fathers and the sons. They're the same but in America. The Satan tried in all over the world today Satan tries to make the kids think well, we're cool and we're different.

Those are old fuddy-duddies. No, they're everybody. We're all the same. We're all in the same team. You're gonna be just like us. This little attitude thing that lasts for just a flash time. You walk that that I'll like Jenny did.

I'm thinking about the aisle can't get my mind off that aisle in July. But across the stage like Jenny did. All of a sudden she's one of us you can't be cool anymore. You're an adult now. So it only lasts a few years.

And what Satan tries to do is to drive a wedge between the parents and the children by making that the kids think the parents Aren't aren't in and cool. What's worse is if the parents don't think you're right?

And really. As the world comes to you and entices you to do these things to be like the rebellious youth of the world or whatever. Don't consent to it in your heart say no. I don't have to be that way.

I don't have to have one kid think I'm cool. I'll never forget. Dr. Rocky Freeman my mentor. What is what the greatest strengths he had was teaching teenagers. He could get in front of youth and he was awesome.

He was just it's like he just. That was his gift almost there was one of the best preachers. I've ever heard, but when he got in front of youth I love to watch him, but I'll never forget one time He was with a bunch of teenagers and he probably picked out one or two that had a rebellious look.

He was why he'd watch him. He'd make eye contact with him the whole time. Just melt them right down into that seat by the time it was over. But he would he would get so intense. He said I can't believe That you would dishonor God dishonor your parents and All and he said it a lot more eloquently than this, but I can't remember how he did it all but he said it in the All to impress a pimply faced idiot of a teenage boy.

That's how he said it so he had pegged some girl in the crowd just saw that rebellious look he was nailing that he said How would you do why are you trying to impress a pimply faced teenage boy? He then he'd go and say I came for the life me see why you girls are attracted to any of them.

But but Peer pressure is a problem and you have to learn how to deal with it and the way you deal with it is when they Entice you who give me a plain word for that. What does entice mean? They allure you all right, what's a plain word for that they tempt you.

They try to dress it up and make everything look really good. Like it's really the best thing there is and they're enticing you then you with your heart and mind. You don't consent to it. You say no, but I know Jesus wouldn't do that.

I just know he wouldn't have any part. He wouldn't even hang out with this crowd. So I'm not going to All right. That's the first one we see. How to handle peer pressure now look at verse 11 if they say who is it it's the same group.

It's the group from the world. The group that is energized by Satan himself, but they don't know it. They think they're doing everything on their own, but they're not they're energized by Satan because anything that is not God is the opposite.

It's of Satan. If your speech if in your speech you use words. That you would not use if Jesus Christ physically walked in that door and sat down beside you today. At any time in your life around the house or in the car anywhere you go you use words.

You wouldn't use with him sitting there. Then you're energized by Satan. Because it's not from God. So if you're hanging around people that do that all the time it can rub off on you. And that's what this whole passage is about.

It's saying don't hang out with them. Turn your back to them and run as fast as you can and get away from this crowd if They that is the crowd if they say come with us. There's the first problem. You know what that means they're saying be like us.

You don't want to be different. You don't want to look like a homeschooler. You don't want to look or dress like you went to a Christian school. Get that uniform off before you go to town you wouldn't want to think you're a Christian.

Think about it now and that how we think what mom I need to go and get this uniform off. I can't go to the mall this way. Why not? Well, they'll know I went to it. What are you gonna say a Christian school?

They'll know you follow Jesus. Yeah, that's a problem. Why is that a problem. Because they that's the they here in verse 11. They don't want you to be like that. They want you to be like them. Be like the world and they say come with us.

Let us lay wait for blood. Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause. Let us swallow them up alive as the grave and a hole is those that go down to the pit. We shall find all precious substance if we shall fill our houses with their spoil.

Now, let's stop a minute. You say now that doesn't seem to fit, you know, you brother Mitchell. You're teaching me not to be a rebellious teenager. Now you're talking about me not following people are gonna go kill people and take their stuff.

You know, that's one of the biggest problems in America today is gangs and. That's exactly what they do. Do you see how it starts out? It says if they say come with us God says don't go with them. Come with us.

We'll take innocent blood and take their stuff. That's a game. So this is not foolish. It may be to some of us who were kept we're somewhat sheltered here in our church and our homes. In our school, and I'm glad we should be that way.

But if we lived in the inner city, this would be very very important to teach to the young boys, especially. The mobs at home they teach them through Proverbs when they're two three, four, five six seven.

They'd have a whole lot gangs when they're nine ten eleven twelve and thirteen. Don't go with them when they say come with us. Now you get down so you talk about gangs you get down into verses 12 and 13 just talks about stealing things.

Just taking things that don't belong to you. Is that a problem in America? Is that a problem with young people going into stores? Just grab something you want and then hide it and walk out with it and all of a sudden that buzzer goes off and you get Embarrassed get rested maybe.

Yeah, it's a problem. We should teach the little children. You don't take something. That's not yours. God sees everything you do everywhere you go and everything you think and he writes it in a book.

You will stand before God someday and he will read from that book everything you did when you're in this body the bad and the good he will name every bad thing and You'll have to be ants. You'll have to answer for it yourself.

You can't blame it on mom dad society school or anything. It's just you verse 14 cast in thy lot among us they will say Let us all have one purse. In other words. We'll just all go out and steal stuff put it all together and then we'll divide it up equally.

Look what verse 15 says my son walk not thou in the way of them. Refrain thy foot from their path. So what is the quickest avenue of escape from these problems young people? Let's have a teenager. Tell me the answer to that this morning.

What's the quickest problem to handle peer pressure. The possibility getting in with a group and going out doing something wrong that you would not have done on your own. But you're influenced by the group.

What's the quickest way of escape? Let me read the verse and you give me the answer my son walk not thou in the way of them. Refrain thy foot from their path who can tell me what the easiest route of escape is.

That's right. When they're over here, then you go be over there. If they're down at the gym, then don't go to the gym when they're there. Everybody in this town seems to think the YMCA is a great place to send your kids.

It is a great place to send your kids if you want them to end up pregnant or in a gang. Because what people don't know is for five bucks a year the underprivileged of our society can go there all year.

I think it's about five bucks. So what that does is it brings the world system into that place? What does YMCA stand for who can tell? What's the third word? Christian so was it designed for for ungodly lost kids to come in there?

No for five bucks, they can come in all sudden. They pay the five now. They're a Christian. No, ladies and gentlemen, let me just tell you what it's like if you send your kid to that gym and you don't go with them they're gonna come back with ways of the world and language of the world and It will evolve to deeds of the world within a matter of weeks or months and you know what's worse if you have a young lady.

If you have a daughter and you let her go there the the young men of Satan. The men of Cain the men young men of this world are putting their eyes all up and down your daughter and Looking at her as an object to play with and to use and in the throwaway.

And you're letting them do that because you're letting your daughter go there without you going with them now if you go with them. It's different because if you're like me, you'll bring a baseball bat after him in a second not think twice about it.

I've done that on more than one occasion. But I've raised two daughters right over here and gotten them to college safe. But it took a baseball bat to do it. We don't have men with guts anymore. I'm supposed to be talking about the mom.

So let me get off. That's a rabbit trail. But how can a woman be what she is if she looks at the man and sees a wimp. You know, she can't stop all of this. The man's got to get in there, too. But let's get back on the mom's been what do you say?

We'll get off the men get on the mom. Why should the moms be doing? Well, mom, how about you go down to that gym and look around see what you see and see if you like it. Don't just send them down there go down there and look at it.

I'm picking on that because it's a problem in this city, but there's other places. I mean, maybe it's not always the gym. Maybe it's the roller skating rink bowling alley or the movie or wherever, you know, the drag is or whatever.

You better know where your children are going because I'm gonna guarantee you Satan's gonna try to get to them through the world system. And the children let me tell you what what if your parents mess up and they let you go somewhere and you get there and You find out who or if they knew it was like this.

They wouldn't let me be here. What should you do? You say well, I'm here and I got away with it and the parents don't know it. So I don't think I'll just kind of look around and see what I can partake of.

There was a young lady that did that in the Bible once called one at Dinah. She went out to see what the women of the world did or the girls of the world did. She ended up with us destroyed life. Don't look around too much.

So what if you get there and you see it's not the right environment your parents hadn't even figured that out yet. What should you do? We'll look at verse 15 my son that's speaking to the child. You don't always have to have your parents watching over you saying you can't do that.

You don't have to have that if you've got the Lord in your life at all because the Holy Spirit come to you and say Hey, Jesus wouldn't hang out here. Jesus would not be with these people unless he was witnessing to him, but you're not strong enough to witness to him.

So you don't need to be hanging out here. That's what he would probably tell you my son walk not thou in the way of them. So look at me young people look here. If they're here. If you know where they are, you know, they're here, you know, they're hanging out.

Are you supposed to be there? Well, if you go there, are you not walking in the way of them? How can you go there and I'm walking the way? You're right there with them the Bible always says flee youthful temptation.

It doesn't say you face it as if you're a strong person. Well, I can handle this, you know I'm such a good Christian. I've been baptized right here in the water. I'm strong. I can do this. It won't work.

You'll fall every time sooner or later. You'll fall every the best of you will fall sooner or later if you keep putting yourself in that way in that path. So what does God say flee from it? So what does that mean young people if if these bad kind of kids are hanging out?

They you put up a basketball thing on your garage wouldn't you. Maybe if it protected me soon. I'm not sure about that. But you don't want to hang out where they are. Verse 16 or the end of verse 15 refrain your foot from their path.

You can't go where they are because you'll fall. Now the parents should have taught you this parents should always teach your young people this teach them this till they can quote it back to you. But young people your parents will not always watch you 24 hours a day.

But God God will. God watches you Everywhere you go and takes note of everything you do and say and who you hang out with and the whole thing. So you've got to have some ability in your own heart to stand for right say no, I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not gonna do this. I'm going somewhere else Verse 16 for their feet run to evil and make haste to shed blood surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of. Any bird you don't let the bird see you're setting a trap for him that teaches us.

Satan is not gonna let you see. This is bad. Listen to me young people that I mean Look at look at this. It's using nature as an example surely in vain. The net is spread in the sight of earth. Can you see this?

You're going to catch up. So chicken watch me you go over here you dig this hole with the shovel and you put some things sticking up before you know. Right, you see these things picking up and you pull the leaves over there with Chicken.