Grieving in Hope (Genesis 23)

Grieving Is a Required Course in the School of Life

Good morning, and I invite you to turn in your Bibles with me to Genesis chapter 23. As I said a moment ago, the title of today's sermon is Grieving in Hope. And in just a moment, we're going to stand and read Genesis 23.

The whole chapter is only 20 verses, so we'll read through it. But before we do that, I just want to make a few preliminary remarks to get our mind thinking in the direction of the text. Death is not a subject that most people enjoy talking about.

In fact, it is a subject that is typically absent in polite conversation. And I know people who are unwilling even to address the subject. And it's becoming more and more common. People are less likely now to go to funerals than they used to be.

And that's not just because of COVID. Because, as you know, I've done funerals for years and years, and I have seen a steady decline in the people that go to services. Some don't even want services. It's really changed the way we see that.

We've so distanced ourselves from the subject of death that we don't want to think about it. We hide our cemeteries behind big fences. We hide the services in the chapels. And we don't want to be reminded of the ever-present specter of death that looms over us all.

We don't want to face the reality that death is coming. In fact, you guys probably know Mel Brooks. He's a comedian, made many movies. And he's quoted as having said this. He said, why do we have to die?

He says, as a little kid, you get nice little white shoes, nice little white laces, a velvet suit, short pants, nice collar. Then as you grow up, you go to college, you meet a nice girl, you get married, you work several years, have a nice life, and then boom, it's over.

Why? Why? Who wrote that into the contract? Now again, that's a Jewish comedian, not a Christian scholar. But you get what he's saying. He's saying this just doesn't feel right. And to be honest, it really doesn't.

We were created with eternity in our hearts. The Bible says that. The Bible says that God has set eternity in the hearts of men. And therefore, when the reality of death comes, it feels very wrong. And when we face the death of someone that we love, the grief that goes along with that is sometimes overwhelming.

And here's the thing. Here's the thing that just really struck me this week. None of us get to choose whether or not we're going to experience grief. It's just when is it coming. And none of us look forward to it, but no one is exempt from participation.

It is a required course in the school of life. And you don't know when your semester is going to start, but it will start at some point. Now, I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear coming to church.

It's, well, I came to church to be made to feel good. Well, this message may not right away make you feel real good because I'm going to be reminding you of things that are tough, but at the same time, I hope at the end of this, you will see that we are able to look at death differently than the world.

That if we believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, we can grieve in hope rather than grieve in absolute depression and destruction. Which is what the world does. The world looks at death as the end, but the Bible tells us that it's not.

So, what we're going to do, we're going to read this narrative and then I'm going to give some understanding of it and then I'm going to make some application of today's text. But let's begin by reading.

Let's stand up. Give honor and reverence to the Word of God. 127 years. These were the years of the life of Sarah. And Sarah died at Kiriathiba, that is Hebron, in the land of Canaan. And Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah and to weep for her.

And Abraham rose up from before his dead and said to the Hittites, or the sons of Heth, some of your translations will say, I am a sojourner and a foreigner among you. Give me property among you for a burying place that I may bury my dead out of my sight.

The Hittites answered Abraham, Hear us, my lord, you are a prince of God among us. Bury your dead in the choices of our tombs. None of us will withhold from you his tomb to hinder you from burying your dead.

Abraham rose and bowed to the Hittites, the people of the land, and he said to them, If you are willing that I should bury my dead out of my sight, hear me and entreat for me Ephron, the son of Zohar, that he may give me the cave at Machphala, which he owns.

It is at the end of the field for the full price. Let him give it to me in your presence as property for a burying place. Now Ephron was sitting among the Hittites, and Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham, and in the hearing of the Hittites, of all who went into the city, into the gate of the city, No, my lord, hear me, I give you the field, and I give you the cave that is in it.

In the sight of the sons of my people, I give it to you. Bury your dead. Then Abraham bowed down before the people of the land, and he said to Ephron, in the hearing of the people of the land, But if you will hear me, I give the price of the field.

Accept it from me that I may bury my dead there. Ephron answered Abraham, My lord, listen to me, a piece of land worth four hundred shekels of silver, what is that between you and me? Bury your dead. Abraham listened to Ephron, and Abraham weighed out for Ephron, the silver that he had named, in the hearing of the Hittites, four hundred shekels of silver, according to the weights current among the merchants.

So the field of Ephron and Mephila, which was to the east of Mamre, the field with the cave that was in it, and all the trees that were in the field, throughout its whole area, was made over to Abraham, as a possession in the presence of the Hittites, before all who went in at the gate of his city.

After this, Abraham buried Sarah, his wife, in the cave of the field of Mephila, east of Mamre, that is Hebron, in the land of Canaan. And the field and the cave that is in it, were made over to Abraham as property, for a burying place to the Hittites.

Father God, I pray, first and foremost, as I always do, please keep me from error as I preach Your Word. Please open the hearts of Your people to hear and understand the truth. Please, Lord, use this to edify Your people, and to save those who do not know You.

Lord, only You can open a heart, only You can save a soul. God, do what only You can do, in Christ's name. Amen. You might have noticed a very interesting part of that chapter that we just read, and what I might say, a very interesting ratio.

The ratio of verses about the death of Sarah, versus the ratio of verses about the purchase of her plot, are quite distinct. There's only two verses about the death of Sarah, and there are 18 verses about the bargaining over the plot, where she is to be laid.

I hope that as we go through the text, I can show you maybe why that is. But before I do that, I just want to begin in verse 1, and talk about verses 1 and 2, because that is the part that sets the stage for the rest of the chapter.

Because this chapter begins with the event that is going to make the rest of the chapter necessary. It says in verse 1, Sarah lived 127 years, 127 years were the life of Sarah. And verse 2 says,. And Sarah died at Kiriathba, that is in Hebron, in the land of Canaan.

And then only one half of the verse is used to describe the pain and suffering of her husband. Notice, it says,. And Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah, and weep for her. This is Abraham's princess. That is what the word Sarah means.

It means princess. These two have walked out the life of faith together. They have experienced both success and failure in the extremes. But they have walked together. Even in the failures, we could talk about the times where Abraham said, She is my sister.

And she went along with it. They were together in their failures. We could talk about the time with Hagar, the Egyptian handmaiden, where it was Sarah's idea to take the handmaiden and make the child.

We could talk about this. They were in it together. But they were also in their successes together. They left Ur of the Chaldees together. They walked that trek of faith together. They have been in this life, hand in hand, side by side, Abraham and Sarah, Abram and Sarai, whenever, however, has been together.

And now, and by the way, they both heard the voice of God. They both saw the theophany of God. When He came to them under the oaks of Mamre, and He had announced that Sarah, a year from now, will have a child.

And remember, she was at the earshot. She was inside the tent. And she laughed when the Lord said that she was going to have a baby because she was a 90-year-old woman. And she laughed at the thought of having a child.

And God said, Why did you laugh? She was there. She saw the Lord. She heard the Lord. She knew the Lord. And she and Abraham had walked this life of faith together. And very little detail is given to his grief.

But that mustn't make us think little of his pain. Sometimes the Bible does something that we might think odd. Sometimes the Bible will put in one or two verses something that has a mountain of significance, but just a little bit of space in the text.

And it's almost as if it's a reversal of what we would expect. Remember when we talked about Abraham taking Isaac up onto the mountain? I said, You know what the text never says? The text never says Abraham was sad.

It never says he was struggling. It just says he did it. I said, But we have enough sanctified imagination to know that if God were to ask any one of us to take our child and to offer them up on the mountain, that we would have hard time making those steps up the mountain.

That that three-day journey that Abraham took would have been an arduous and painful journey to take. And so it doesn't take a lot of sanctified imagination to imagine the pain of Abraham. Well, here we are at this text, and even though we have only half a verse, even though we only have two descriptive words, the word mourn and the word weep, we can know that this is a moment in the life of Abraham where he is broken before the Lord.

He's lost his princess. And what's interesting about this text is it tells us also something a little bit about the significance of Sarah in the history of the Bible. Sarah is the only person in the Bible, the only woman, rather, in the Bible whose age at death is given to relay the significance of her life and what she means in the history of God's people.

It says she lived 127 years and she died and Abraham wept for her. Now in a moment, I'm going to return to the subject of weeping and grief, but for just the next couple of moments before I do that, I want to go through the rest of the text and at least try to explain the significance of the other 18 verses because they're here for a reason.

God doesn't just superfluously inspire words. In fact, I want to give you a heads up. Next week is the longest chapter. I think it's the longest chapter in Genesis. And we're going to do a whole chapter in one week.

Lord willing. But I want to encourage you now. Read up. Read it before. Read it twice this week. Read it a couple of times. Make that part of your daily devotion. Because the whole story is about after Sarah dies, Abraham sins for him to get a wife.

And we're introduced to Rebecca. And it really is a beautiful picture of the Father sending for the bride for His Son. And you can just imagine in your mind the picture of the Gospel there. The Father providing a bride for His Son.

Right? That's a picture of the Gospel. We're going to look at that next week. But it's a long chapter, so I'm preparing you for that. But nothing is insignificant. Even in these long stories, there's nothing insignificant.

And this story is significant. Though at first reading, we may not understand why. Because again, this seems to be all about a land transaction. And what in the world does that matter? Why does it matter?

One, where is Sarah going to be buried? And number two, why does it matter how Abraham procured the land for which to bury her? Well, it tells us the story. And let's look at it quickly just so we understand.

It says,. And Abraham rose up from before his dead. Meaning he had been mourning at the side of his wife who was dead. She's probably now having had her body prepared for burial. And he's probably there.

Much like today, we have a casket and people come to the casket and they mourn near the casket. This is a much different picture, but a similar situation. Abraham has been mourning beside his wife but now he realizes there's business to tend to.

He's got something he has to do. He can't just leave her here. He's got to have a place for her to be buried. So he rises up and he goes to the sons of Heth who just happen to be the ones in charge of that land where he's at.

And we're reminded in verse 4 that he is still not considered to be the owner of the land. By the way, let me ask you this question. What are the two promises Abraham received from God when he was told to leave his country and his kindred and go to the land that I will show you?

What are the two promises? Land and seed. Land and seed. I will give you a nation and I will give you property. But at this point, Abraham has no property. And if you want to have just an inkling of the significance of this part of the text, that's really it.

Notice what he says in verse 4. I am a sojourner and foreigner among you. Guys, he's been there 50 years! If somebody was living in your neighborhood for 50 years, would you say that they're a sojourner?

Or a pilgrim? No! They've become a citizen, but Abraham still sees himself as an outsider. He says, I am a sojourner and foreigner among you. I've not laid claim to any property. So give me property among you for burying for a burying place that I may bury my dead out of my sight.

Now this next portion, beginning at verse 5, is a highly debatable as to what's going on. It's a highly debatable section because depending on the commentary you read, depending on the sermon you listen to, depending on the pastor, you might hear it one of two ways.

You might hear it as the gracious Hittites are offering to Abraham land because they see in him a great spirit of God and that is the reason they're offering him the land. Now I will grant that's basically what the text says.

That they see in Abraham this man of God and when he comes with a need, they say, you know what? Your money's no good here. You've been good to us. Everywhere you go, everywhere you step foot, the earth springs forth and every time you have a herd of cattle it multiplies.

You are blessed of God and we would be blessed to have you be a part of us and give you land. That could be it. And I'd like to think that. But there is another way of looking at this and again, if you want to tell me your thoughts later, you're welcome to.

The other way to look at it is in the ancient Near East the bargaining custom was much different than today. When you go to Walmart, you don't bargain over prices. If you walk up to something and it says $19 .99 and you walk up to the little girl at the register and you say, I'll give you $10 .00.

She'll go, okay, but you're still going to owe $9 .99 because I don't have the right or the power to negotiate the deal. However, if you've ever been to a dealership, if you've ever had to buy a car and I hate buying cars.

Some of you don't know this, I was a car salesman when I married my wife. It was the worst year of my life because every time I met a new person I felt like game on. Because they'd come up and this was before the internet y 'all, which kids, there was a time before the internet.

They would come up and I would say to them I would say do you like this car? Let's take it for a test drive. You wanted to get them in a test drive because you wanted them to feel like they took ownership of the car.

You wanted them to adjust the seat, turn the radio, you wanted them to feel like it was there so that it was easier to sell it to them. Then when you get them back in the office, you say now, what is it going to take to get you in this car today?

And they'll say well, this is how much I'm willing to pay. Well, let me go tell my service manager. You've all been there, right? You know what I'm talking about. And you go back and you come back with a ridiculous figure.

Usually six times what they've offered. They've offered to pay $300 a month you come back with $1 ,200 a month payments. Knowing that nobody's going to pay that amount of money. But now the negotiation has begun.

Now we can find a place to meet. Well, according to Near Eastern culture in the ancient world, and even today in Near Eastern culture and even in places like India and stuff everything's a bargain. Everything is up for debate.

And so how some people have interpreted this moment in the life of Abraham was that when Abraham went and asked for the land they said please take the land. That was the first step of the negotiation.

The next step was the no, I don't want to take it for free. Let me give you this amount and then it's a back and forth. And here's how that works. Brother Brian Bordman mentioned this and I thought it was genius.

He said, you ever been out to lunch with somebody and the check comes and you're not sure whether you should grab it or not. You know, you're kind of like you got that moment where it's like, I don't mind paying but if he offers, you know, we've got to kind of have this back and forth moment.

By the way, if you ever go to lunch with me, I never mind paying but I also never mind getting paid. But that's the feeling, right? It's that moment of so when Abraham hears this from them, would just take it.

His response you would think would be, thank you. I appreciate it. But he doesn't do that. He says, no, I want to pay. Tell me who owns that piece of property. I want that piece of property down at the end of the field with the cave because that's where we're going to bury my wife.

I've already picked what I want. You tell me who owns it. You tell me what he wants for it. And the guy, his name's Ephraim, he comes out and he goes, no, take it. And then he says this and this is the only part that makes me think this could be it.

Because he goes, what's 400 shekels between you and me? That sounds very much like a bargaining tactic. And again, I don't want to read into the text. I don't want to introduce something that's not there.

But he certainly does throw out a number. And based upon figures and studies, it was kind of a high number. So he may have expected Abraham to respond when he said, what's 400 shekels? And by the way, 400 shekels is actually quite a bit of silver.

But remember, Abraham has much silver. He has much property. He was given silver in Egypt. He's gained and amassed things for himself through his spoils of different activities that we've seen. And so when he comes, what's 400 pieces of silver between you and me?

And Abraham says, count it out, boys. He's named the price. Count it out. He's named what he wants. And you say, what in the world is the significance of this? Why does this even matter? Go back in your minds a few steps when I told you Abraham doesn't own any property yet.

All he has is a signed promise from God that all this land is going to be yours. But at this point, none of it is. In fact, the only part that we could say is possibly his, if you go back a couple of chapters, he argued over water rights to a well.

Remember that story that happened? There was a little debate over who had the rights to a particular well there in Hebron. But other than that, Abraham doesn't have property. Now he does. You see, if they would have given the land to him, they might have something to hold over him.

And it might be that at a certain point they could say we are going to renege on this gift. But now the land and the property is his and he's purchased it and there is a deed. In fact, if you see the end of the passage here where it says in verse 17, it says, so the field of Ephron at Mephila, which was to the east of Mamre, the field with the cave that was in it and all the trees that were in the field throughout its whole area was made over.

The ESV says made over, but some of your translation says it was deeded. In fact, anybody got a translation that says deeded? Do you? Okay, thank you. The idea is that's what it is. He is purchasing it.

It's being made over to him. It's being legally transacted. He's made the purchase and he owns it. You say, still don't get the significance of that. What are you pressing towards, Pastor? I'm pressing towards this.

Genesis had an author and an audience that needed to hear this. The author of Genesis is Moses and the audience of this text, the immediate initial audience was the people of Israel who were between Egypt and the promised land waiting to receive the full inheritance that God had for them.

And they are reading in this text that there's actually a plot of land that our father Abraham purchased and it belonged to him. And you guys understand the concept of firstfruits in the Bible? What does firstfruits do?

Firstfruits reminds us of the harvest. Like when you see that first spring of firstfruit come out, it reminds you that the harvest is coming. This little plot of land in Hebron is the first fruits of Abraham's family owning everything.

In fact, this piece of land will become so significant in the life of the patriarchs that it will literally become the burial plot for, I have them all down here, Sarah, Abraham, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob, and Leah will all be buried in this plot of land.

This is a picture that God has given us this land. This land is ours by God's command and we purchased the first as it were, the down payment when God's going to bring forth the full payment. One day we will have it all.

And I love this. This was a quote from a commentary that says this, without a battle of any kind the people of God have begun their occupation of the land that God has promised to give to Abraham and to his offspring.

Now think about it. The people of Israel are about to battle. They're going to go to battle. They're going to march around the city and the city's going to fall. All those things are going to happen. But the first piece of land there was no battle.

Abraham just bought it and it became the seed of the promise that was to come. So, that is just an explanation of why there's so much here regarding the purchase of this land and it is important. Well now I want to shift gears a little bit and I want to as I said I was going to give you that but I want to go back now and talk about this subject of grief.

Because I do think again one of the things that we see here is often, and those of you who have suffered grief, you know this to be true. When somebody in your life passes away you often have business to attend to.

In fact, I remember when my grandmother died it's been about 10 years now and our family had had to come together and it was my mom's side of the family and even though I was grandson I had experience working in the grief ministry if you will and had an opportunity to sit in with my aunts and uncles to figure out what we were going to do.

And I remember the business of it sort of took your mind off the pain for a little bit because you had to go through all the stuff that had to be done. It doesn't remove the pain but at least you deal with something other than just constantly thinking of the pain that you're in.

And so in a sense there's some blessing to that. And so we see that here Abraham's mourning for his wife, he's weeping for his wife but then he stands up just as you know closed and says I gotta go to work, gotta go deal with this.

So what I got to thinking about as I was writing the sermon and as I was thinking about how to apply this I want to give you four thoughts on application from this text and it's about the subject of grief and loss that I hope will be an encouragement to you and as I said earlier you may not be in grief right now or you may not have experienced grief for some time but we never know when that semester is going to start.

Every one of us is going to face it at some point. The Gomez's a week ago did not know they were going to be doing what they're doing today. Do y 'all understand that? Life can change at any moment. Right?

So here are four thoughts. Number one grief is not something foreign to the faithful. Grief is not something that is foreign to the faithful. There are several myths that are associated with being a Christian and one of the myths that turns my stomach is when I hear people say that as a person of faith that you shouldn't be bothered by death.

I'm going to tell you something people of strong faith can still experience tremendous grief and there are so many examples in Scripture that I can show you that it's almost like I shouldn't have to say it, but because there's enough people out there that I have heard well don't you know they're with the Lord?

Don't you feel good? No, I'm hurting. I'm thankful that they're with the Lord, but I'm still in pain. And we shouldn't try to minimize the pain with silly platitudes. Well, God needed another angel. Dead people don't become angels and don't say dumb things like that.

But that's what we do. The Stoics believed that their emotions were to be removed and they were to try to find this place of absolute, that's what Stoicism is, the idea of just emotionless. And biblical Christianity is not Stoicism.

I do want to show you one passage, if you don't mind. Turn with me to 2 Samuel 18. 2 Samuel 18 verse 32. Now if you're unfamiliar with the story, this is the passing of Absalom. Now Absalom is the son of David.

Now go to verse 32. 2 Samuel 18 verse 32. Absalom is killed in battle. Now Absalom was... Absalom had been going against David. He had been fighting against David. And yet David still loved his son. Even though his son had in a sense become his enemy, he still loved his boy.

And I want you to hear this. Verse 32 it says, the king said to the Cushite, that's the man who's coming to tell him what happened in the battle. The king, that's David, said to the Cushite, is it well with the young man Absalom?

And the Cushite answered, may the enemies of my lord, the king, and all who rise up against you for evil, be like that young man. So basically what the Cushite is saying, he's saying he's dead and may all your enemies die, oh king.

Thinking the king would be happy that his enemy has been vanquished. But listen to David's heart. And the king was deeply moved. And he went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And he said, oh my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom, would I had died instead of you.

Oh Absalom, my son, my son. Can't you feel the grief of David in that moment? And David is a man of God. And yet he feels the grief of loss. Let me tell you something, the only way to take grief out of death would be to take love out of life.

I've said that for years. The only way to take grief out of death is to take love out of life. We love people and it hurts when they're gone. I'm going to tell you something. I wrote this in my notes.

One day my wife or I will pass first. I thought about this when I was thinking about Abraham burying his bride. And my princess is my wife. And I'm going to tell you this, if she goes before I do, I'm going to be useless for a while.

Y 'all just be ready. If something happens to her, I'm going to be useless for a while. Do not think that grief is foreign to faith. It's not. It's not. Okay. Number two, God is not mentioned in this whole chapter except for when Abraham is called a prince of God.

That's the only time. God is not mentioned in this chapter, but He's not absent. That's why I wanted to point that out. It doesn't say Abraham prayed. It doesn't say the Lord was with him. But we know that He was.

How do we know the Lord is with Abraham in this time of grief? Because the Bible tells us in Psalm 46 verse 1 that God is our very refuge and help. God is our refuge and strength and He is a present help in trouble.

God is a present help when we are hurting. The Lord is not absent in our pain. In fact, Psalm 34 18 says this. It says the Lord is near the brokenhearted. He saves those who are crushed in spirit. I'm telling you, if you are in grief or suffering from grief, if you are struggling with grief and you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, know this, neither death nor life nor angels nor powers nor things present nor things to come nor heaven or earth or anything else can separate you from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus your Lord.

God is near to the brokenhearted. Number three. Again, looking at this text, what can we draw from this text? Applications. Consider this. Memorials are an important exercise. Memorials are an important exercise.

Let me tell you something. Funerals and memorials are more than mere tradition. They are a part of our faith because we are called to be a people who remember. In fact, I love Abraham, Joshua, Herschel said this.

He said, much of what the Bible demands of us can be comprised in one word, remember. Think about what we do here every week. We're called to remember what the Lord has done for us. Think of how many times in the Bible there were stones and other things that were set up to be what?

To be pictures of remembrance. Right? Abraham purchased this place to lay his wife because this was going to be the place where all of them were going to be buried. Where he was going to be buried. Where his children were going to be buried.

This place was a place of remembrance. Remembering God's faithfulness. Remembering God's promise. And let me tell you something. We don't bury our dead, we plant our dead. Think of the difference. When we walk out to that garden that the kids started building, a few started making, we don't tell them, okay kids, come on out and bury your seeds.

That's not what we say. We say, you plant your seed. Because God's going to bring that seed to life. And what does Paul tell us? A seed goes into the ground and it dies and then out of that life comes.

And that's what we do when we put our loved one in the ground. We are planting them there for the day of resurrection. We're planting them there for the day that the Lord will have that trumpet sound and the dead in Christ will rise first.

And there's value in it. There's importance in it. There's blessing in it. Finally, number four, and this will be where we close. We know that death is coming for us all and therefore we need to be confident in our hope in life and death.

We know that death is coming for us all, therefore we need to be confident in our hope in life and death. Now I know not all of you read the catechisms and I know not all of you have ever been through the catechisms, but on Friday mornings our young people that are in our homeschool group, we've been taking them through the New City Catechism.

And the New City Catechism begins with this question and it's actually taken from the Heidelberg Catechism which came out of the Reformation. And this is the first question of the Catechism. What is our only hope in life and death?

Answer that I am not my own but I belong to God, both body and soul, both in life and in death. I'll read it again. We are not our own but belong body and soul, both in life and death to God and to our Savior Jesus Christ.

That is our hope. And I'm telling you, when we grieve, we must not lose hope. In fact, one last verse and we'll close. Turn in your Bible to 1 Thessalonians chapter 4. 1 Thessalonians chapter 4. Now a lot of people want to debate this passage regarding rapture and things like that, but don't even worry about that right now.

Just think of what it's talking about when it talks about in chapter 4 when it talks about what's going to happen when Christ descends from heaven with a shout. 1 Thessalonians chapter 4 beginning at verse 13.

But we do not want you to be uninformed brothers about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as those do who have no hope. I'm not telling you not to grieve, but I am telling you this. If you're a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, you can grieve with hope.

Because of what it goes on to say. Because it says this. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so through Jesus, God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you, by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.