Outrageous Things People Tell Pastors (Part 1)

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Mike and Steve have their own list that makes one either cry or laugh. If you want KJV only sobriety, this episode is like the NIV to you.

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What Every Pastor Should Know (Part 2)

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.
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No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the
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Apostle Paul said, �But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.�
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In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn�t for you.
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By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we�re called by the
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Divine Trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her King. Here�s our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth.
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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry. Steve, it�s been a long time since we�ve been in the studio together. It feels like months.
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What did you do this summer? Anything fun? Why would I do that? I�m the anti -fun guy.
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I�m the joy killer. Well, it�s kind of like, you know, when I ride a bicycle, my goal is to have fun and maybe burn some calories, and your job is, you know, not to get hurt.
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Not to get hurt, that�s right. That�s right. And so, you�re up to, like, what, seven grandkids now?
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Hmm, not unless they�ve snuck a couple in that I�m unaware of. Yeah, we�re just at five. Yeah, okay.
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Five and holding. Yeah, wasn�t there a show in the �70s, �Five is Enough ?�
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No. No. It�s not enough. Did you watch �Eight is Enough� when you were growing up?
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A little bit. You know, I don�t know. We weren�t � I guess we weren�t really big on family shows.
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We didn�t watch a lot of the Waltons. There were a lot of things we didn�t watch. Adam�s Family and the
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Munsters, those were family shows. Yeah, those were in syndication, so yeah, we watched those. You know, my brother liked to watch
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Westerns a lot. We watched some game shows and stuff like that. Well, when I was in California, my foster father -in -law, figure that one out, he�s a retired pastor, he�s about 85, and he had a stroke and so he needs to have some people check on him and his daughter was out of town and so Kim said, �Could you swing by and see
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Glennon ?� I said, �I�d love to.� And so I walked into the door because the
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TV was on 95 out of 100 in terms of volume. You walked into the door? So I walked in through the door.
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Okay. Yeah, sorry. And then, hit my head, yeah, and then he was watching,
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I think it was a Western channel, so we watched Gunsmoke together and Bonanza. No, it�s
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Bonanza. And so it was just, and then Rifleman was coming up, but I had to go.
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That was my brother�s favorite. Man, just good moral shows where right is right and wrong, they get whacked.
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The bad guys show up in the black hats. That was so nice. Always. I know. So today on No Compromise Radio, this is a find from Steve.
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Most of the good shows, I come up with the themes and stuff like that, but Steve came up with this internet,
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August 19, 2015, 25 really weird things said to pastors and other church leaders.
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Now, Steve, where did you find this? Actually I came across it in my news or my
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Facebook feed and I just clicked on it and read it and I go, �Yeah, that�s actually pretty good.�
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I don�t remember who originally posted it. Somebody posted it. Well, you know, the thing is sometimes when you hit print from the internet, it doesn�t print the guy�s name who did it, so people are going to have to find out who actually wrote this or came up with this.
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Yeah, Tom Rainer? Yeah. Yeah, okay. All right. 25, is this proper English though?
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25 really weird things said to pastors and other church leaders? No, I think proper English would be 25 really odd things.
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Odd. Something really weird? Extremely odd. Really weird things said to pastors? Yes. Something like that?
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Okay. And before we get into this particular list, do you have any weird ones that people have said to you?
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Like after you�ve preached or something like that? Maybe during, you know, before you�ve preached, like the
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Scottish guy, MacArthur prophet guy, you know, something like that? You know, people say unusual things from time to time, but I mean, nothing
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I really care to repeat. Well, what we have to do is we have to wait for the statutes of limitations to expire or have those people, you know, move on or we move on, then we can tell the story.
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Have them expire. You know, maybe that�s a good, you know, way to be able to tell stories out of school.
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You just have to switch churches like every three or four years, then you can talk about the people in the old church and they can talk about you.
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Sure. All right. Gossip�s fine as long as they�re no longer at the church. As long as it�s used to build someone else up or cause a wisecrack joke.
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No compromise, Radio C. All right, you want to start off the list? How do you want to work this? Well, I don�t really �
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I thought you were going to be nice and then say to me, �Well, Mike, what has been said to you ?� I�m not going to say anything like that.
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Okay, Mike, what are some really odd things that have been said to you? One was � glad you asked, by the way � one was, and this person was telling me with sincere, honest, forthrightness, they said to me, �I don�t like that tie.�
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It was right after the service. And it wasn�t my wife either. And I apologize for that later.
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I don�t like that tie. Well, I didn�t really � I wanted to say I didn�t wear it for you, right?
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That�s what I wanted to say. All right. Well, that�s all. Maybe I�ll add in some other ones later, but here we go.
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Should we say this at the beginning, Steve? What should you say to a pastor after he preaches? Well, at the very least, thank you for preaching the
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Word, if you preach the Word. Thank you for being faithful. Yeah, something like that. Thank you for your ministry.
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Thanks for showing me Christ today from the Scriptures. Thanks for wearing a tie. All the important things. Hey, by the way, that could be one reason why
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I should just give up the whole tie thing and then people would not have any room to complain. So they couldn�t be offended by your ties?
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I don�t like it that you didn�t wear a tie. Hmm. Double negatives? Well, I think they�d find a way to, you know, express their displeasure.
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Yes. Why do people feel the need to say anything to a pastor after he gets done preaching? I don�t know.
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But I mean, if I�m walking by him, I like to say something, you know, rather than just avert my eyes and kind of �
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Avert my eyes. Well, I don�t think this list from Rainer is exactly parallel to what they say after the sermons, but we�ll just figure it out as we go.
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So why don�t you start it off and then we�ll kick in. Number one, this is one of the ones
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I like the least, but number one, we need a small group for cat lovers. My response to that would be,
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I think it�d be a very small group. It would be a female feline group.
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Yeah. That�s right. Yeah. We need a small group for cat lovers. Well, isn�t that funny, Steve? You get these
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CBD catalogs or you go to Barnes and Noble and they have these subgroups for Christians and instead of getting everybody together for one body, a la
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Ephesians 2, 3, 4, we�ve got to split everybody up into subgroups.
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Now, don�t be going voddie on me or anything with a � How about chicken soup for the cat -loving
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Christian soul? Somebody did come up to me on Sunday and they said � and I�m just back from vacation and they greeted me and said, �Hello and welcome back.�
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And then they said, �I�m really surprised that BBC didn�t put together and organize something for the
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Planned Parenthood protest.� And I said, �Oh.� I said, �Are you part of BBC ?�
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I said, �I�ve just come back from vacation. I�ve got my hands full and if you want to do the leg work and put something together and do
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X, Y, and Z and I guess, you know, do that, you�re more than happy to. So next year, make sure you do that.�
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They didn�t know what to say. I mean, people always find new things for other people to do, right?
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I mean, can you imagine walking into work and going, �Why doesn�t somebody do this or that or the other thing, you know ?�
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Well, I said to myself, �I hate abortion and it�s not like I�m against some of this stuff.�
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But then I thought, �Well, the people that did go, they told me they just heard a bunch of rosaries getting chanted anyway.�
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Yeah. I mean, that�s always the problem, right? That you�re going to wind up next to a bunch of people where you�re going, �Hmm, do
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I lock arms with them or do I evangelize them ?� And I think in many cases, you need to evangelize them.
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What would you do if you found someone who was trying to evangelize a feline? Then you could start a small group for them.
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Yeah, a very, very small group. Like a one -person group. Number two. You need to change your voice.
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What does that mean? You need to change your voice. Remember that guy back in our home
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Bible study in North Hollywood, and he ended up getting arrested for some very serious charges.
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But he was selling things over the phone and he had a machine that would change his voice. Yeah, well, he was a bit of a fraudster, wasn�t he?
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He was. I mean, he used a different name and altered his voice and all that other stuff.
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Yeah, very unusual fellow. Maybe this person in number two means you need to have the voice of a shepherd and not a cattle driver.
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I'm guessing it's probably more like, why don't you sound more like those guys I hear on the radio? You know?
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Steve, when I hear people preaching, and they are preaching the Word of God, and these men are faithfully heralding the truth, and their voice is odd to me or squeaky or maybe on the effeminate range of the masculine barometer.
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Open your Bibles! I don't care because the man is preaching the Word of God. But you can be a
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Marlboro man, raspy voice and all, with low octaves, and talk about moralism and a bunch of other isms, and I think it's pretty lame.
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They need to get a new voice. Yeah. I mean, if John Wayne was opening up, you know, if he was up there preaching and saying things like, you know, we need to be better because being better is good.
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Why do you think people like the Bible read by Charlton Heston? Why do you think they like that?
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Or Johnny Cash? Quien es mas macho? Well, they like that machismo.
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You know, they like this. I mean, and there's nothing wrong with liking the sound of that, right? I mean, you know, if you grew up like I did in the 60s and you think
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Charlton Heston as someone from the 50s, when he speaks, it's kind of like hearing, you know,
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Moses or whatever. It's kind of easy to think of it that way. Maybe Moses said to himself or said to the
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Lord, I need to get a new voice, and that's when Aaron came along. I think that's pretty close, right? I don't think
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Moses' voice was especially imposing, otherwise he, you know, might not have thought the same way he did.
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I think he had the stuttering problem. Yes, he did. Mm hmm. Yeah. Okay. All right. Okay. Number three. I'm having fun so far.
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We can turn this into at least two shows. Number three, I like this one. Our expensive coffee is attracting too many hipsters.
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Well, is there anything wrong with having coffee at church? I don't know.
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Give me a hint. No, there's nothing wrong with it. What about people that sneak in coffee in sanctuaries, quote unquote, that, you know, the church says, please don't bring any coffee in or anything?
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Is that a sin? Is that a mortal sin or venial? It's, I don't know. It's pretty rude.
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I mean, it's like you go over to somebody's house and they, you know, really don't like smoking, which would be like my house.
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And you know, you just light up a cigarette. Oh, is that a sin? Well, yeah, kind of.
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But it's really rude. Now some churches, they don't have carpet and maybe it's an auditorium and maybe they encourage bringing coffee in to the worship service.
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So you wouldn't have a problem with that, would you? No. And I think the right thing to do, if you're not sure, is to just ask one of the ushers, would it be okay if I brought my mocha soy latte in?
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Yes, but if you go to a hipster church, maybe they don't have ushers because you've got to do something else.
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It's a cooler thing. Well, then you just - Ushering's out. Yeah, you just walk up to somebody who's, you know, standing around because nobody sits at a hipster church and you go, yo, my man, is there, if I bring the -
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Yo, my man. What are we going to do to attract really nerdy people and geeky people and others?
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I guess their souls aren't valuable, but the hipsters are, because we want to be hip.
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We got to get the hipsters versus we want to be nerdy. So let's get the - Well, you advertise a few things, latte bars, free
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Wi -Fi, and after the service, we're going to have some instruction on the latest,
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I don't know, Java program. Well, you know, if it's a church that would attract me, then let's cater to me.
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Maybe I want to take some Krav Maga lessons or something. We can have those in the sanctuary afterwards. It's all about you.
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Uh -huh. Okay. Come on. Bring it. Okay. Number four. Well, I think this is accurate.
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Preachers who don't wear suits and ties aren't saved. It's in the Bible. It's almost like you have to pause before that second sentence.
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It's in the Bible. Steve, when you preach, what do you wear? Suit and tie.
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Okay. Okay. What would you think of somebody who wore, like, a sports coat? I think they weren't saved. What if somebody wore a frock or something, capris?
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Yeah, that would be bad. That would be so - Well, I mean, you know, sometimes I think people forget, this is, suits and ties are not from Jesus' time, you know, no matter how many times,
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I mean, it would have been better if it, instead of, it's in the Bible, that's what Jesus wore, you know, or that's what
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John the Baptist wore. Steve, you know, we're pastors and so we probably could be on a radio show and say, encourage your pastors, they need it.
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Don't kind of fall back on Proverbs 27, you know, a man is tested according to the praise he receives, so you don't want to make your pastors stumble.
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But let's just talk about encouragement in general. Why don't we say to everyone who's listening, instead of encouraging your pastors, why don't you encourage one of your elders?
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That might be a good thing to do. It'd be great, because so often, you know, they're working behind the scenes, a lot of them have 60, 70 hour a week jobs, you know, they have families and everything else, and they're also serving in several capacities at the church, and, you know, they're not up front getting all the praise, you know, the slaps on the back and whatnot.
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So yeah, that'd be a fine thing to do. Steve, why don't you go to, maybe we could have the people go to their elders and say, you did a great job, you showed great wisdom in hiring the pastor.
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Steve laughs I don't really remember the last time I'd worn a suit and tie, maybe a sports jacket and tie on occasion, but only when
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I had to go to court and testify or, you know, something like that, or if I was going to a wedding. But I mean, that's just not something
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I did. But I kind of see the suit and tie, does it change the message if I don't wear a suit and tie?
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No. Or if I don't wear a sports jacket and tie, no, it does not. But you know, it's just kind of what people expect.
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So why wouldn't I want to do that? And I don't want anything to distract from the message.
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If people are up there, or if they're down there in the pews thinking, why doesn't this guy wear a suit and tie,
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I mean, that's just something I don't want people to think about. It makes my job easier if I just think, okay,
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I pick out a shirt and a tie and a jacket and slacks and off I go. There you go.
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Yeah. So, Mike Avendroth here with Steve Cooley on No Compromise Radio. You can write us at info at nocompromiseradio .com,
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or you could pick us up on Facebook or Twittering. Do you do much Twittering these days? Only when
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I have to. You know, Twitter is just a distraction to me, and I mean,
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I do it every once in a while. I came up with something here not too long ago, and I just thought, that's too good not to put it on Twitter.
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But I mean, unless a thought just kind of hits me, I just, you know, sometimes I just go in there and see what other people are saying, but, you know.
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Speaking about encouragement and encouraging pastors, is there anything more encouraging,
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Steve, that someone would in the congregation take to heart the word proclaimed and then by the
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Spirit of God's power try to employ that in their lives? And maybe they begin to teach their family a little
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Bible study or worship time a few nights a week where they say, I've seen the word preached faithfully.
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I take that to heart, and then I do that now in my family. That's a bigger encouragement to me than someone saying, great sermon pastor.
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It's the best. I mean, I'm sure, you know, like when you first get saved, and you start implementing those kind of things in your home, and you tell somebody about it, the guy who's discipling you or whatever,
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I think it would be encouraging. I think the people that were discipling me when
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I first got saved, I think they were encouraged by the things that I was, you know, getting excited about and doing, and I think that's all good.
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What if someone comes to you and says, the Bible teaches that faithful are the wounds of a friend, and so I want to correct you on your syntax and grammar and alliteration and assonance today in the sermon?
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Then what would you do? Well, I mean, I just take it, you know, and I just listen.
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I mean, you know, yeah, I mean, a lot of the comments you get after a sermon, some of them are very encouraging, and some of them you just kind of go, so you listen to the whole sermon, and that's what you got out of it.
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You know, like the guy who told me that, you know, the message made him think about rebounding. I don't know if you remember that one, and I just thought, hmm,
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I didn't use a single basketball illustration, so I'm not really sure what that was about.
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Well, it's a lost art, you know, since Dennis Rodman's gone, it's a lost art. Steve, we are on what number right now?
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We're on number five, and I feel like we've just entered a haberdashery. Yeah, that's true. Okay, because number five is, your socks are distracting.
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Holy haberdashery. Robin actually did say that on one of the Batman shows, yes. What your socks are distracting, well, here's a note to preach yourself, then if you weren't hiding, you know, if you weren't behind one of those dopey
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Plexiglas pulpits, nobody would know. I like to hide back there.
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Wait, dopey Plexiglas pulpits, we know anybody who has one? I do. Okay, all right.
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Quite a few people. Some people aren't dopey that have them, but I still think the pulpits themselves are dopey.
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So you know, I have to give allowances to people that have them, that I still like some of those people.
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Okay, better stop digging. You know, again, all I can think is, man, if the number one takeaway from my sermon was about my socks, either my sermons need to get better, or your listening needs to get better, because that just shouldn't be.
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Sometimes my eyesight isn't so much better, and I actually have worn a black sock with a navy blue sock on a
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Sunday before to preach. I just felt off. See, I keep mine matched in the drawer, so that part of it.
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I do too, but sometimes when it's, you know, cloudy out, I might not be able to see.
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I don't know. I don't know what that's all about. Okay, number six, you shouldn't make people leave the youth group after they graduate.
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Now let's do a little white horse in on this one, little Michael Horton. People go from the behind -the -scenes church nursery to the junior church to the junior high church to the high school church to the college church, and they totally miss the worship services with all the saints.
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They just go right up the ladder, and before you know it, they're in the college thing and then the young singles, and Horton, I think, does a good job trying to work through that, and so it reminded me of this very thing.
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Make people leave the youth group. You can just always stay stagnant and, you know, with the youth.
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Hey, how's Bill doing these days? Well, he's doing well, 37, single, living in his mom's basement, and still part of the youth group.
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Yeah, call of duty champ. Yeah, great. You mean he's leading the youth group? No, he's just involved in it and just having a great time.
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He hopes to get a job next year sometime. Okay, we're back to the clothing issue, back to linens and stuff for number seven.
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Number seven, I don't like the color of the towels in the women's restroom. I mean, people, you know, sadly, here's the truth.
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The truth is, sometimes people just, they just pick on things that really don't matter.
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I don't like the color of the curtains. Why do we have blue chairs? Can't we have red hymnals?
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I mean, let's really major on the majors. Let's talk about important things.
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Steve, would you ever say to somebody like that to answer, not a fool according to his father? I don't really know what to say to that.
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Sometimes I don't like certain colors of things as well, but I have to say to myself, I think it was years ago, we were painting the inside of the auditorium, sanctuary type of thing.
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And it was going to be painted light blue or something. I don't really think it was the best color, but I'm not the only one, you know, who was attending.
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So it doesn't matter. Somebody wants blue, okay, pick blue. Well, the light blue went really well with all the clouds we painted on the wall too.
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Well, yeah, it was like the vintage church in Santa Cruz where you just look up in the sky and you think of the Ascension. It was beautiful.
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Okay, number eight, not much to say about the towels in the women's restroom. Number eight, we need to start attracting more normal people at church.
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Now, when I was younger, I used to go to record stores and I loved to buy vinyl records and you could see these great pieces of art sometimes in whatever it was, 12 bucks, what's the size of an
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LP? Yeah, it is 12 inches, I believe, yeah. And the one thing I noticed, and of course,
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I wasn't thinking about myself, is that I noticed there was a lot of weird people that would hang out at record stores, you know, use bookstores, use record stores, a lot of weird people.
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And then all of a sudden, I realized I was one of those weird people. And then I went to a local church and realized it too, the church was a magnet for weird people.
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But then I was a little off, a little sideways, a little off kilter. Okay. So, do we want normal people, like normal sinners, like extraordinary sinners?
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Maybe we need to have more political officers, maybe we need some football players, what do they mean?
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I just think it's odd how people think, you know, we need to worry about the cat lovers, we need to get more normal people, we need to, you know, and I'm like, really?
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Why don't we just trust the Lord Jesus Christ to build His church the way He wants to build it? And we'll just be faithful to what
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He calls us to do and watch and see if He brings really normal people or abnormal people here.
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Well, when you look at the New Testament and you think to yourself, oh, it's time to go is what
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I have to think to myself. Steve just pointed to this, but Jew, Gentile, slave, free, everybody's the same because they're all sinners saved by the blood of Christ Jesus, the risen
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Lamb. So what does it matter? The only reason why we're together is because we're redeemed. Exactly.
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Mike Abendroth here with Steve Cooley, Steve Cooler, we'll be back next week to talk about part two.
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See you then. No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.
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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life transforming power of God's word through verse by verse exposition of the sacred text.
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The thoughts and opinions expressed on No Compromise Radio do not necessarily reflect those of WVNE, its staff or management.