Is It Time to Forgive Your Parents?

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I think a lot of people, they should have an impulse to want to honor their father and mother and to the extent to which they're so bitter at them that they don't, they're just kind of proving themselves to be children still, if that makes sense.

So, I mean, you know that you grow. One of the ways you know that you've grown up is when you get over all your hangups or whatever.

Yeah. I mean, it's funny. Part of having a sinful nature is that you're predisposed to see only the flaws in other people.

So a lot of people, I mean, that's their childhood. All they see is the flaws in their parents. They're not thankful for them whatsoever.

And then, you know, they get out on their own for a little bit, and they're filled with bitterness about all the problems of their upbringing and all that kind of stuff.

And then, you know, at a certain point, it begins to dawn on them. After they have kids, this wasn't nearly as easy as what they thought, you know?

Yeah. Yeah. And then they begin to appreciate their parents more and more. And, you know, at a certain point, it's like, well,

I guess maybe they're better parents than I was. You know? Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of people go through that kind of cycle.

But, I mean, the quicker you, assuming you're going through that cycle, the quicker you get to the other side.

I mean, that's really kind of when you grow up. You quit being a petulant, you know, sinful, bratty, self -centered, entitled kid.

You know? Where all you can see is the bad or whatever. So, I mean, I've noticed that about people. Like a lot of my friends, they just have all this baggage with their parents.

It's like, well, my parents weren't perfect, but I don't feel like I have any of that. You know? Right. I mean,

I can see areas where they're not perfect right now. You know? To where, yeah, they're not perfect. They were never perfect.

But I feel like I ever had this just weighed down by, you know, all this frustration and all that.

So, yeah. I mean, I do think when you grow up, you kind of learn to say, all right, well, I see the good.

I don't see all the bad kind of thing. That's definitely the true. That's been my experience with having kids is, you know, the realization that, man,

I actually probably had it really good as a kid with my parents. Way more than I ever thought

I did when I was a kid with my parents. You have a whole new generation of parents right now who, everything's so different now in certain ways.

But it's funny to be where I'm at in life to where I can see there's a generation of parents coming up after me.

Yeah, I still have kids in the house, you know, but there's a generation of parents coming up after me. And it's funny to watch them because they're all know -it -alls about their kids.

You know, as they've reinvented like the wheel at every single point, you know, and their impulses are very different than like my parents' impulses.

So, I mean, with my parents, you know, you'd, you'd, I mean, I think my mom would drive around the car breastfeeding a kid while she's driving.

And then, you know, like parents your age, you know, you'll have kids in their car seats until they're like 18 or something, you know, with helmets on or something.

I think it's only 16 and a half. But then they'll look at, I mean, they'll look at people my parents' age, like as if they have nothing to offer, you know, because, because,

I mean, but then they have all these gluten intolerances and all this, you know, like food allergies and all these problems, you know, and they'll have their kids on these like rigid, like schedules where they can't, like if they don't get naps, then they're going to lose their mind and they're all overstimulated and, you know, all this kind of stuff.

And so they just have no sense of like awareness that like, you know, your grandparents, they've, they raised you and you didn't die, you know, maybe they have something to contribute here, you know, maybe, you know, now,

I mean, at the same time, I mean, you know, maybe the breastfeeding the kid while you're driving thing wasn't very smart, you know, too.

But I mean, I was about, I was about to say my, you know, my father -in -law, he, he actually told me a story last week, actually, where he was, when he was two, you know, they, when he was growing up, they didn't have, they didn't really have car seats like we have now.

And he said, when he was two, he ended up going through the front windshield. So may,

I don't know, maybe we've learned a little bit, but definitely taken it way too far, way too far.

Yeah, no, it's true. I mean, I, so I think there has to be some way to like recognize that all the new impulses aren't just best, you know?

And I mean, the science on a lot of these things goes back and forth too, you know? So like, should you have your kid on your stomach or should you have your kid on the back, you know?

And, you know, all that kind of stuff. And I mean, it just goes back and forth. And so it's interesting where you have so many,

I mean, young people right now, there's a lot more medical influences on parenting than there used to be, you know, to where you're almost crippled with fear without following the doctor's advice from start to finish, you know?

So, but I mean, there's certainly lessons that like, just because there's a new technology and new rules and new whatever, you should, your parents have a lot to offer in ways that you don't realize.

I mean, I, you know, I'm kind of like in between where I'm looking at a lot of things that are happening now, and I kind of chuckle at the stressed out generation of parents

I see coming after me, where they're all stressed out and like in a way that we weren't.

But then we were like that to my parents too, you know? Yeah. So it's funny. I mean, like you learn certain things along the line and they can really help you if you let them, you know, and you should let them be a part of your life.

And you can learn a lot from them, even if you don't take everything they say, you know? And I mean, parents, a lot of parents, they don't have, they need to let go too, you know?

They can be kind of overbearing and do what I say and trying to micromanage your relationship in a way that is inappropriate.

But that doesn't mean it's, you just throw your hands up in the air and say, well, you know, it's too much. I'm not even going to try.