The Sanctity of Marriage - Ephesians 5 (Part 1)

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Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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It is, I don't know, February in 2021, and my friend

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He's articulate. He's smarter than I am, but he's younger than I am.

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I don't know what to say. Today I want to talk a little bit about marriage.

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I finished the book of Nahum, and then I wanted to do a couple weeks on the sanctity of marriage.

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So today on No Compromise Radio Ministry, we're going to talk about marriage, kind of big picture marriage stuff, not necessarily how husbands are to act and wives are to act in marriage.

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I'm rearranging my microphone here so I can lean back a little bit so my neck disc problem doesn't feel too bad.

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It's feeling a little bit better. That's the good news. But I want to talk about marriage, and let's start off this way for the show.

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Has your definition of marriage changed? I mean, the times they are changing—and by the way, I'm going to sneeze here in about two seconds.

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That's the first time I've ever sneezed on No Compromise Radio. I've done this show for 11 years, that 3 ,000 some shows,

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I've never sneezed on this show. So I guess there's a first for everything. Maybe that'll put my back back into place.

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You ever do that? You're like, oh, I just sneezed, and instead of throwing it back out, I threw it in.

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How about different definitions? American Dictionary of English Language, the

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Noah Webster, 1828. The act of uniting a man and a woman for life, wedlock.

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Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children.

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You like that definition? Pretty good, isn't it? More recently, Merriam -Webster said, the mutual relation of husband and wife, wedlock, the institution whereby men and women are joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of founding and maintaining a family.

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Even more theologically neutered, a legally accepted relationship between a woman and a man in which they live as husband and wife.

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That's the Cambridge Dictionary. And the worst that I've found online in Carta Dictionary, the definition of marriage, legal relationship between spouses, a legally recognized relationship established by civil or religious ceremony between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.

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And you just see as time goes on, the redefinition of marriage. The other way you redefine something is you can just throw on an adjective or two and redefine it that way.

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Adjectives to accommodate the sinfulness of man. For instance, civil marriage.

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So just throw on the word civil, and it's a magistrate -performed marriage.

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You have a common law, one word, common -law marriage. People live together.

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It's not legal, but that's what we call it. Here's another word we can add on to marriage, but shotgun marriage, right?

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These people are forced to get married because the woman's pregnant. Open marriage.

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You have the husband and wife or the two spouses now with the new definitions.

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They can be involved with other people if they prefer. And of course, gay marriage, the marriage of two homosexuals, in air quotes, marriage.

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It was here in Massachusetts, November 18th, 2003. I'd been here for about six years, and there was a lawsuit, and it was

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Goodridge versus Massachusetts Department of Public Health. And there was a four to three ruling here where the state legislatures vote for three, wrote a law permitting the arrangements and marriage of what we now call same -sex couples.

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It was the first high court here to recognize that same -sex couples had the right to marry, and it was instituted on May 17th, 2004.

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The chief justice, Margaret Marshall Majority Opinion, said, quote, the marriage ban works a deep and scarring hardship on a very real segment of the community for no rational reason.

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So there's no rational reason why we say it's for a man and a woman, one man, one woman.

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A man has always been a man, a woman has always been a woman to be married. I don't know what your definition of marriage is, but you can see what's happening in society today.

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Malcolm Muggeridge said, a Roman Catholic, people do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to.

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Melinda Selmas, a former lesbian said, a man may lie to himself very prettily, but he cannot really escape from the knowledge that it is a lie.

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And Aristotle said, men start revolutionary changes for reasons connected with their private lives.

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And what I'd like to do is I'd like to ask the question, what is marriage? And now ask the question, why marriage?

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I think we answered the first question, what is marriage? Now why marriage? And one of the definitions had some things in there, but if I could just elaborate a little bit, marriage is ultimately to glorify

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God and that would be a good place to start, right? Oh, magnify the Lord with me. And that's certainly what a

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God ordained institution like marriage does. It gives him glory. He's the one that invented it and intended it.

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It's right for procreation. This is the way babies should be, I was going to say made, is that how it is?

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Babies are made. Of course, God, you know, gives the increase there, but this is how babies are made.

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I think that's appropriate to say. That's the intended way. Enjoyment, if you look at God and how he wants couples to enjoy each other with conversation, with eating meals in the bedroom, that's something that marriage does or should include.

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One man told me that marriage and marriage fidelity, marital fidelity, never impoverishes, right?

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It never makes you poor in any way, shape or form, well, at least spiritually.

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Marriage, why marriage? Well, it's good for companionship and fellowship, right? We need helpers as men and the ladies need us, of course, to foster godly children, right?

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Not just for the procreation of children, but also for godly offspring. I love

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Luther for lots of reasons, and one is he's just blunt. And Luther said, people who do not like children are like swine, dunces, and blockheads, not worthy to be called men and women, because they despise the blessing of God, the creator and author of marriage.

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And then the ultimate purpose that I talked about last Sunday here at Bethlehem Bible Church is that marriage illustrates

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Christ's love for his church. In other words, it was meant to picture something.

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Marriage was a picture of a heavenly, divine, eternal arrangement.

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It is important for you to think about marriage rightly for many reasons, but that's at the top of the list, a

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Christ -centered understanding for marriage. That's why if you redefine marriage, you redefine the gospel and Christ's substitutionary death.

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God has ordained holy matrimony, and when you talk about Jesus, you should talk about marriage, or it talks about marriage, and when you talk about marriage, it talks about Jesus.

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Some leave Jesus out of sermons, and it just turns into morality, and some people leave

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Jesus out of sermons on marriage, right, because they forget this tie -in.

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There is a war against Jesus Christ, and since he's not on earth and he's not in our hearts, he's in heaven, right?

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We have the spirit of God dwelling in us, that's true. There's a war on marriage because they can't get to Jesus.

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I mean, he's not accessible, and of course, you couldn't fight him if you tried.

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God creates marriage to be an illustration of the Christian mystery. John Gershner said that, and he went on to say, in other words, we do not first have marriage and then its adaptation as an illustration of the mystical union between Christ and believers, and therefore the heaven reality is true first, then we see it in time.

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It's not like, oh, we see something in time, and what kind of could show a man's love for a woman?

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Oh yeah, that would be. No, it's the other way around, thinking about marriage in terms of the doctrine of substitutionary atonement.

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Husband, husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

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That's Ephesians 5 .25. NAS doesn't say as Christ, it says just as, so we get an extra word in there to help us put that emphasis that there's a relationship here.

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Christ loved for the church. And in this section in Ephesians 5, you'll see six times the word love is used.

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This agape love, the ground and model of love, a love that gives, a love that's sacrificial, a love that says,

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I want what's best for the object that I'm loving, is here found in Ephesians 5.

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Christ also loved the church, this agape love, and gave himself up for her.

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When you look at a marriage, you should see, or we desire to see, a husband loving his wife and giving himself up for her, which is a direct reflection on the self -sacrificial love of the

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Lord Jesus. The scholar and commentator F .F. Bruce said that this agape love, quote, impels the one loving to give himself in self -sacrifice for the well -being of the one being loved.

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He gave himself up for her. And that is true of Christ, and it should be true of all of us as husbands.

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Jesus at his own cost, right, he was given up. That language is,

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I'm going to be suffering, I'm going to be judged, I'm going to be condemned,

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I'm going to die on behalf of this other person. It's not performance -based, it's not, well, what do they deserve?

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It's not reciprocal, it's a love that denies self, and really promotes the best for the other person, or the other people involved, if you're thinking about Jesus and the church, right?

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The church is made up of more than one person. Field Marshal Montgomery used to say to his young troops, gentlemen, don't even think about marriage until you have mastered the art of warfare.

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And that is killing self. And of course, Jesus didn't kill himself, but he denied himself, and you think about what

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Philippians 2 actually talks about, and it doesn't talk about, he sets aside all of his attributes, but love, as Wesley might write, he always was

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God, and if you somehow deny any of that, that's heretical, and therefore you've got to say things like, he didn't use all of his divine prerogatives, or something like that.

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You've got to be very, very careful. Nonetheless, we see this kind of love, and it's echoed throughout the

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Bible, 1 John 3, 1, see what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God.

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This is this kind of love. My name's Mike Abendroth, this is No Compromise Radio Ministry.

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Years ago, the Saturday Evening Post wrote an article called,

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The Seven Ages of the Married Cold. It's always funny, even back in the day when it was written, and even today.

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This is a husband reaction to his wife's cold during the first seven years of being married, of their marital bliss.

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First year, sugar dumpling, I'm really worried about my baby girl. You've got a bad sniffle, and there's no telling about these things with this strep going around.

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I'm going to put you in the hospital this afternoon for a general checkup and a good rest. I know the food's lousy, but I'll be bringing you meals in from Rossini's.

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I've already got it all arranged with the floor superintendent. Second year, little darling,

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I don't like the sound of that cough. I call Doc Miller and ask him to rush over here. Now, you go to bed like a good girl, just for Papa.

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Third year, maybe you better lie down, honey. Nothing like a little rest when you feel lousy.

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I'll bring you something to eat. Have you got any canned soup? Remember canned soup?

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I remember Sunday nights, grilled cheese and tomato soup with some of those little oyster crackers.

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That's what we would get. And popcorn, homemade popcorn that you have to put the oil at the bottom of the pan, put a couple kernels in there.

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When they popped, you could add the rest. That was good. There was something good about that. And since I'm now on the starvation diet, every food sounds good.

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I have my beets, my pickled beets in the fridge for my snack. Fourth year,

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Saturday evening post. This is the seven ages of the marriage cold, marriage cold fourth year.

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Now, look, dear, be sensible. After you fed the kids, wash the dishes and finish the floor, you better lie down.

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I'm laughing because that's more like it. Fifth year, why don't you take a couple of aspirin? Sixth year,

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I wish you'd just gargle or something instead of sitting around all evening barking like a seal. Seventh year, for Pete's sake, stop sneezing.

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Are you trying to give me pneumonia? Or if I wrote it today, the COVID. Yet, when we look at scripture, the exact opposite happens when it comes to the

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Lord Jesus loving his bride. And he, think of the wedding, think of the wedding dress, think about the purity and the symbolism and the white and just spotlessness and just the glory of the wedding dress.

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He talks about that in Ephesians 5, 26 and 27, that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in all splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

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That's wedding language really that we have, but of course, ultimately, it's the language that Samuel Stone would write about in the church's one foundation hymn.

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From heaven, he came and sought her to be his holy bride. With his own blood, he bought her and for her life, he died.

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That's a good summary of Ephesians chapter 5, verses 25, 26 and 27.

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This presentation here of the bride in all her glory, shining, bright, brilliant, dazzling white wedding dress, except now we know that it's not just of the wife.

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Of course, we're talking about the church in all her glory because the son loved, the son gave.

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Remember the eternal arrangement, marriage? The father saying to the son, go rescue the bride, go die for the bride, right?

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I glorified you on earth, Jesus said, having accomplished the work that you gave me to do. That's Jesus in John 17.

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When did he give him that work? His baptism? At the transfiguration?

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When he walked on water? No, in eternity past. The father sent the son into the world on a specific message.

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That's the theme in the book of the gospel of John.

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For God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

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It's this language of God sent, God sent, God sent. The father sending the son.

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This is the work of God, Jesus said, that you believe in him whom he has sent. So Jesus is sent, he loves and gives, and then he presents the bride back to the father with splendor and glory and dazzling purity.

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That's called the covenant of redemption. And Paul keeps going in Ephesians, and he talks about how husbands should love their wives because don't they love their own bodies?

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Verse 28, in the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

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This has got the language of singular here. He who loves his wife loves himself.

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He's dealing with individual husbands, and that is to say, we see the kind of transposition between Jesus loving the church and husbands loving the wives and how we're supposed to do that.

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There is no ambiguity when you read this verse on what you're supposed to do. We are one with our wives.

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I am one with my wife. If you're a husband, you are one with your wife. If you're a wife, you're one with your husband.

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And therefore, it makes sense when I read that verse. Jesus said, so they are no longer two, but one flesh.

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What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. You're one.

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And so if you love your wife, you love your own body. She's not a thing or a piece of property or some asset.

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I mean, she's an asset, but not like in the books, property and wife and cattle, something like that.

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Calvin said, the man who does not love his wife is a monster. Is there ever a time that a man has an obligation to say,

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I'm not going to love my wife? Is there ever a time where the husband can say, you know what? I think

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I'm loving my wife too much. Well, when you tie to the life of Christ and to the death of Christ, we know the obvious answer to that.

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And verse 29 of Ephesians 5 says, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church.

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We have all kinds of labor to serve ourselves as men. And now that obvious, hey,

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I'm serving myself all the time, should spill off into the not so obvious and the need for the commandment for us to love our wives.

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Walter Chantry said, how soon marriage counseling sessions would end if husbands and wives were competing in thoughtful self -denial.

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If the woman were anxious to yield to her God given head in the home, the man were ambitious to serve her comfort and welfare as his own flesh, there would be no room for contention and strife.

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And that's what happens, you know, here we see the Lord nourishing, cherishing the church in every stage of maturity, in every stage, affection, love, wanting to take care of spiritual well -being, physical well -being, and everything in between, cherishing, right?

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Let me tell you what it really means to say, I love you, Walter Trowbrich said.

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It means you, you, you, you alone, you shall reign in my heart.

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You are the one whom I have longed for. Without you, I'm incomplete. I will give everything for you.

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I will give up everything for you, myself, as well as all I possess. I will love you alone and I will work for you alone.

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I want to remain always at your side. Is that a husband's love for his wife or a Christ's love for the church?

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Yes, because we are members, verse 30, of his own body.

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That's the reason, right? Constantly the Lord Jesus protects, guards, watches, nourishes, cherishes.

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Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Yes, you're right, that is

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Genesis chapter 2. Well, next time we're going to talk a little bit more about this and develop it out. But 24 and a half minutes goes by quickly, does it not?

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God bless you. No Compromise Radio with Pastor Mike Abendroth is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

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Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church firmly committed to unleashing the life -transforming power of God's Word through verse -by -verse exposition of the sacred text.

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Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 10 .15 and in the evening at 6. We're right on Route 110 in West Boylston.

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You can check us out online at bbchurch .org or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.