Denominations Make 1980s Dating Videos

Some people call me a pragmatist, but that's just because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get you through the door, except

dance.

If you need references, I have a letter of recommendation from the Chairman of the Deacons.

So if you like programs, fried chicken, and Fifth Sunday Sings, I may be the one for

you.

Do you love babies, church polity, and superior theology?

Then we should definitely get together.

We can spend our evenings drinking a glass of wine, singing the Psalms, and reading from the

Westminster Larger Catechism.

Why the Larger Catechism?

Because I don't mess around.

If you're not serious about Jesus, well, I'm not going to be serious about you.

Do you hate creeds, love a cappella music, and have very strong opinions about baptism?

Well, I may be the one for you.

If you want to call me, my number is AX 238.

I'm something of a wild man myself, but I do have an

emotional side.

I've been known to cry and to shout.

I'm looking for somebody who's willing to get crazy with me about God.

If you have the gift of tongues, I have the gift of interpretation.

But if you're a cessationist, feel free to cease from calling me.

I don't need that negativity in my life.

But if you consider yourself a free spirit who likes to get slain in the Spirit, then give me a call.

Do you like having your Sundays free?

Then you're gonna love me.

Guten Tag.

Germany has given the world a lot of things.

Amazing sports cars, great beer, and me.

Do you like condescension?

Then we're gonna get along just fine.

We can spend our evenings laughing about how the Presbyterians think we like them, and the Baptists know we

don't.

Are you a career -minded woman?

Well, you better knock that nonsense off right now.

Someone once asked me my idea of a perfect date, and I told them 1611.

But seriously, it's important for me that you know that I don't listen to rock and roll, I don't watch

secular movies, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I'll never have long hair or any tattoos,

but I will relentlessly judge anyone who does.

So if you're looking for someone who knows what he hates, give me a call.

All you've got to do is look for a Chick tract.

If you find one, my number will be on the back.

I'm attracted to all kinds of women, even if I can't define what a woman is.

And you can be whatever you want to be, if you want to be with me.

We can spend our evenings listening to my favorite Christian pop artist, Taylor Swift.

Do you.

Like Reformed theology, but you don't want to baptize your babies?

Are you especially fond of potlucks, and going to the gun range, and not being embarrassed to be seen in the Spirit Isle at

Walmart?

Then I might be the guy for you.

A date.

With me is a big deal.

You can ask all 5 ,000 of my closest friends, and they'll tell you that I'm high energy from start to finish.

And while I may not get to know you that well personally, at least you'll get to meet a lot of new people as we go to a

different home group meeting every night.

Just remember, if you love Jesus, you're going to give me a call.

If you're interested in living really off -grid, send me a letter.

Hey girl, do you like Reformed theology, but.

Don't want to baptize your babies?

Are you especially fond of potlucks, going to the gun range, and not being embarrassed to be seen in the Spirit Isle at Walmart?

Hey girl, I may be the guy for you.