"agreeing to disagree"

Hey, good evening. Welcome to truth and love. I'm excited that you're here with me. Thank you for joining me. Thank you for your support. Would you continue to pray for us? My family and ministry, would you lock arm with us in in prayer and as we Try to reach our community with the with the good news of Jesus Christ with the Word of God, you know.

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We just want to be about God's Word God's glory Jesus his son and the gospel and thank you for being a part of that with me truth and love comes from Ephesians chapter 4 verse 15, and I think I Typed it wrong in the in the announcement, but it's Ephesians chapter 4 verse 15 It says but speaking the truth in love.

We are to grow up in all aspects into him. Who is the head even Christ? That's that's our goal. That's our aim. That's who we want to be about is we won't we don't want to shy away from truth. But we want to talk about it and share truth in love.

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I'll see it. Hey Tammy. Thank you for watching. I really appreciate it If I can pray for any of you guys Just type me and I will I'll pray for you at the end. Of course if I see it during or during the live video here, but if I see it later on in a notification I'll pray for you.

Then when I when I see your name, so thank you for participating and all your support so tomorrow tomorrow is a special day and We want to celebrate that and this is going to look weird. I'm still trying.

I'm still learning this this new program I really like this program. This is not the best. The best way to go about it. But it is the only way that I found to go about what I'm getting ready to do next.

So just bear with me as as I go through this these pictures. But tomorrow is a special day. Happy Veterans Day 2020. Tomorrow Wednesday, November 11th, so we want to say a special Thank you. Happy Veterans Day to all men and women who have served in our military and We thank you for your service.

Thank you for your sacrifice. Thank you families for What you go through and and what you deal with and your sacrifice. Having your family member being deployed. And whatever whatever they're asked to do, you know, the family has to be right there along with them.

So Thank you to veterans. Thank you to families. Thank all of you who whom God has given the courage and the willingness to serve our country and to keep us safe No matter what's going on. We thank you and we appreciate you and.

I.

Want to take this time? I know people get aggravated when we when we mix up Memorial Day and when we mix up Veterans Day. But always anytime that I get an opportunity, I want to I want to thank all family members that I can Thank them for their service.

And and what they did for our country. So just just want to show you a few pictures. This is my grandfather on my my dad's side. His name was Enoch. Also better known as Tommy and he served in the Navy.

Always always grateful for him and what he meant to me in my life and his service. And I wanted to share that picture with you This evening share you share with you my grandfather and and talk about his service very thankful for him the next picture is This is my grandfather on my mom's side.

His name was John Howe and he went by how he was he served in the army and I'm very thankful for him in my life and Thankful for his service and I wanted to share his picture with you. The next one is my uncle he will he was a Marine and of course, I guess You would say once a Marine always a Marine.

So my uncle served in the Marines and that cute little feller in the picture is me. I want to thank him for his service and What he means to me in my life and the example that he is For for me and the rest of us as Christians.

Thank you. His name is Alan. Thank you Alan for your service and then um the last one This is my mother and father-in-law John and Suzanne they both served in the Air Force. So I want to wanted to show you their picture and say thank you to to them for their service and and and Say that I'm thankful for for them in my life and their service to our country.

So That's all the pictures that I have of that and just wanted to say happy Veterans Day 2020 to to all veterans and thank you for your service. Thank you for what you've you do what you've done for our country.

We really appreciate it. And there's you know, there's no way for us to Express Express Enough and that's not the word that I wanted to use but there's no way to give Gratitude enough for for what you guys do what you guys have done.

So we really appreciate it Appreciate all that you have done and then the next picture the last picture that I'm going to show is this one right here. If you've not done it already, maybe you're planning to do it soon.

We are planning to do it tomorrow. We are going to start decorating tomorrow. And so I wanted to say Merry Christmas Very very early to you. We we wanted to start early. We started that tradition a while back to start on Veterans Day to decorate For Christmas.

I don't think that you can start too early Celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. So tomorrow is going to be our day to start decorating and And begin the celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ so I'm not sure when all you begin to Got some comments here.

Thank you to all veterans, thank you. Yes. Absolutely, we want to and if you want to share if you have a family member you want to share their name Honor them by sharing their name. We want to be thankful to all veterans and and their service.

Let us know Any of your family members that have served or let us know that you have served and we want to say thank you to you. But and or let me know when you guys decide are deciding to Begin decorating for Christmas and begin your celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ.

That'd be interesting to to see When all you decide maybe you've already started decorating. Maybe you're gonna wait till the day after Thanksgiving or the weekend after Thanksgiving. Everybody has different traditions.

Ours happens to be On Veterans Day getting that early start celebrating Jesus Christ. So let me know. Let me know what you guys do. I think that would be awesome. So without any further ado, I Want to move right in to what I wanted to talk about tonight tonight is gonna be another one of those Controversial topics maybe for some people maybe it won't be for for many of you.

But I think it's it's something that I've thought about in in my studies in in my interaction with people. It's it's something that that I've thought through and and thought about and I wanted to share with you those thoughts Concerning this this subject that I posted in the in the in the advertisement for tonight's video and if you if you read it or saw it, you know that I'm gonna be talking about the.

The response or the phrase let's just agree to disagree. Let's agree to disagree. I'm sure you've heard it if not Used it yourself I'm sure most all of us have probably used it at one time or another.

The phrase agree to disagree. Let's agree to disagree. And the question is the question that I asked myself. When I begin to hear it, it hit my ears funny and it made me think it made me contemplate on on whether I should be You know using that phrase and I wanted to share with you my conclusions.

So the question is is it a little a legitimate response for Christians to Use that phrase or that response To it when we're in a conflict with someone. Let's just agree to disagree. Is it legitimate and I want to share with you?

My thoughts on that issue and you are welcome to tell me your thoughts on the issue and Share your comment. Whether you agree or disagree or however you feel about anything that I say throughout this discussion about agreeing to disagree.

And it may not it may not interest everyone. But I just wanted to share with you my thoughts on the subject. So the first things first You may have heard me say this this phrase comes up Let's agree to disagree when we're in conflict with someone.

So the question is what is it? What is conflict and What I come up with is that conflict is a is a disagreement Between folks and it can be the the process of that disagreement Can be negative the results can be negative, you know, the whole the whole discussion everything about it could be negative.

Excuse me, or It can be civil. It can be negative or it can be civil but it but it's a disagreement between folks that can be negative or or it can be civil simply put it is a discussion of differences a conflict is a discussion of differences and.

And of course, I don't think many of us really like I mean there may be some folks that like the the the negative Aspects of conflict they may feed off of it. But most of us don't like the negative aspects of of having a conflict with someone.

But in simple terms a conflict is discussing discussing differences with one another.

So.

Another question that I thought of is is it okay for Christians to Discuss differences with one another. I mean, I feel like so often in My Christian experience my Christian journey my interacting with folks a lot of people just simply avoid Having discussions about disagreements.

Yeah about things that you believe about the Bible about politics, you know, one of the big things that that people say when you a reminder or a warning when you when you're at Work or around a dinner table?

Two things they say to avoid when you're when you're meeting with folks and that's religion and politics and that's just to avoid conflict and. So the question is is it? Okay for Christians to have it is have a discussion about differences.

Is that okay?

Well.

The thing about it is is that it's inevitable for us to have differences of Opinion we're going to have difference differing opinions about things and it's because that none of us are the source of truth and None of us are perfect.

So therefore we are going to have differences and differing opinions About things in this world and about things in Scripture. It's just gonna happen. So we've got to Figure out how to talk about those differences.

Because because they're there they're always going to be there and I want to look at one one large portion of Scripture tonight. Well, it's not too large, but it's it's gonna be several verses. 2nd Corinthians chapter 5 verses 11 through 21.

Just wanted to read it to you In relationship to Having disagreements having conflict and and what what Paul is saying here about How God works how God wants us to work in in those differing opinions and let me just read the verses to you and it may It may help or may help you think about what our God's role is and what what he wants our role to be.

But 2nd Corinthians chapter 5 starting in verse 11 it says. Therefore knowing the fear of the Lord he says Paul says we persuade men. Now, isn't that interesting that in I know at least in my experience.

Maybe that is the same for you that a lot of people try to avoid confrontation try to avoid Discussions about differences, but here Paul is saying.

We.

Persuade men. Almost he's saying we we go after that Discussion we don't avoid it we go after it. He says we persuade men, but we are made Manifest to God and I hope that we are made manifest also in your consciences.

We are not again Commending ourselves to you but are giving you an occasion to be proud of us that you may have an answer. For those who take pride in appearance and not in heart. So At some point Paul's wanting to to you know work in them and Have this growth in them to where they have an answer to give in response to Discussion or conflict or other things that may arise.

He wants them to have an answer. And it reminds me of what Peter said. Also, he says be ready at all times to give an account or an answer. So we need to be engaged in the conversation be engaged in the discussion and Be ready to give an answer.

Paul is going after the conversation trying to persuade and he's wanting his his listeners.

To.

Work up in themselves. Answers to give and then verse 13 for if we are beside ourselves It is for God if we are of sound mind. It is for you for the love of Christ controls us having concluded this that one died for all.

Therefore all died and he died for all that they who live should no longer live for themselves. But for him who died and rose again on their behalf, so that's you know, that's what he's doing. He's dying to himself and and living for Christ, you know going after that conversation.

Trying to persuade others. Therefore from now on we recognize no man according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh yet. Now we know him thus no longer. Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature the old things passed away behold new things have come.

Now all things are from God who reconciled us to himself Through Christ and gave us the ministry. He gave us the ministry of reconciliation. Namely that God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself not counting their trespasses against them and he and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ as though God were entreating through us. We beg you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God. He made him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf that we might be the righteousness of God In him and you see that we're there in verse 20.

He's entreating as though God were Entreating through us. So there's that pursuit. That language again, he's pursuing this. God is entreating you through us to be reconciled to God and reconciliation is part of this conversation of having disagreements and having a conflict where you have two differing opinions.

But God wants us to be reconciled with him and a part of this ministry of reconciliation. He wants us to be reconciled with others. So if we if we take the common approach and avoid conflict and avoid the discussion of disagreements.

Then we avoid this ministry of reconciliation. So I just wanted to share those verses with you to help help us get on the right track with this conversation. So the question is How do we go about conflict?

Now that's that's not the the topic that I'm discussing this evening. But there are Umbrella. Umbrella or umbrella, excuse me. Umbrella responses. Three of them and there's different different responses under each umbrella.

But there's three umbrella responses to to conflict to having a conversation. Having differences with someone and I want to focus on that one that I mentioned earlier. And talk about it tonight the response.

Let's just agree to disagree as a response to Conflict we have in our lives. And so though it may be popular very popular. Is it a legitimate response for us as Christians in an argument. So I wanted to I want to dig a little bit deeper and look at that question tonight.

Just a reminder those of you who come in. If I can pray for you just let me know. Just type me. The floors is always yours. If you have any questions, you want to chat talk about anything. Just let me know put it in the comments and I'll see it and I'll be glad to stop what I'm at.

Whatever I'm doing. To to see what you guys have to say. So So yeah, we want to look at that tonight. So let's take a look at those those those three different umbrella responses to conflict. And then we'll look at our response that we're focusing on tonight.

I'm sure you've heard two of these main responses. They're often referred to commonly as fight or Flight, so when we're in a disagreement in a conflict, we have two major umbrella responses that's either to be aggressive and fight and go at it with someone or To fight to get out of dodge and and leave and just avoid it all together.

And then there's the third the correct response the gospel response. And I'm I've got a chart here in front of me and this charge comes from A little Bible study book that I just went through with a men's group that I meet with on Thursday mornings.

It's called the gospel center life.

By.

Robert Thune and and Will Walker and this chart comes from inside that little booklet. To help us understand these three different responses. So we're gonna look at the first one. The the fight response and the book changes the wording just a little bit.

They call fight attack, so the attack response. What's the heart foundation but behind the attack or fight response? It's self-righteousness. What is the power source of the attack response? The power source is our flesh and our pride.

What is the commitment to the attack response? It's to be right. What is the What is the direction of this attack response it's to argue or Subdue, what is the feeling that we get from this attack response that that life is safe.

And what is the goal of this attack response? Self-protection. We want to protect ourselves at all costs. And then what is the result of this attack response to conflict? It's hurt and or Divisiveness.

All right. Now that we looked at the attack Column, let's look at the flight or what the book refers to Withdrawal response we withdraw from the scenario. What is the heart foundation of the withdrawal or flight?

It's insecurity. What's the power source? Flesh and fear. What is the commitment to the flight or withdrawal response to avoid the conflict. What is the direction to deny or appease in? The fight or withdrawal response.

What's the feeling that that life is less painful for me if I just if I just avoid it. What is the goal in the fight or withdrawal response. Peace with quotes. Not true peace. Not the peace that comes from the spirit, but a false sense of peace, but we feel like it's it's peace.

We're getting peace by just avoiding conflict. And then what is the result of the the flight or withdrawal response? Bitterness and separation. And then the last one the correct response. The gospel response to to conflict.

So what's the heart foundation of the gospel response? Repentance and forgiveness. What's the power source? Of course, it's the Holy Spirit. What's the commitment in? The argument the discussion and the conflict is to understand and engage.

What's the direction? To convey or Invite to convey or invite. What's the feeling? The feeling is life is challenging. Can't avoid that. But that's that's a real true feeling that that's it's not it's not false it's not giving a false sense of security like like life is safe or Life is less painful.

That's just that's just us being blind to reality. This is a Reality or a real feeling that's that's an appropriate feeling to have with a gospel response, you know life is challenging and Then what's the goal in the gospel response to conflict?

God's glory and They're good. And Then what's the result? Healing and reconciliation that that's the goal in the kind of conflict that we have with one another. It's healing and reconciliation. That's the gospel response.

So now that we looked at the three columns the the fight or attack. The flight or withdrawal or the gospel response. Think with me. When we respond to conflict to having a disagreement with someone. What is What column does our response?

Let's just agree to disagree which column. Does that fall under does it fall under the the fight or attack column? Does it fall under the flight or withdrawal column or does it fall under the gospel response column?

Well, unfortunately it falls under the flight withdrawal Column, can you hear it when you say that to yourself or when you hear me say it? Let's just let's just agree to disagree that it's not. It's not fighting.

But yet it's not the gospel response either.

It's.

It's the flight Removing myself from the conflict without a resolution. Let's just agree to disagree and Unfortunately, just like the fight or attack column is an inappropriate response if it falls under the flight category as well It's going to be an Inappropriate response, too.

So my next question is why do we why do we use that phrase? Why don't we use that phrase? Let's let's just agree to disagree. Well, I come up with two reasons and there may be others and if you have another reason why you think That we use this phrase Let's just agree to disagree.

Let me know put in the comments and let me know what you're thinking. The first one is the first reason why I think that we use this phrase. It's because the the phrase the response Let's just agree to disagree.

It is worded in such a way as to be a camouflage or it's camouflaged as a gospel response and how is that. Because it has the word agree in it a Gospel response is meant to bring resolution and Reconciliation and to agree on something means that the relationship has either been Restored or salvaged right?

So by using by using the word agree in this scenario It provides a counterfeit piece you remember the column Sorry about the noise. Sorry about the noise. What what's the goal in the the flight or withdrawal column the goal is that that peace.

We're trying to find that peace. I just want there to be no conflict and peace between us and so.

The.

Just agree to disagree. Having the word agree in there camouflages that whole phrase to give us a counterfeit or a false sense of peace and Then it allows us to ignore the word disagree in the statement and Forget that there's a disagreement still present in the scenario.

Does that make sense? If it doesn't make any sense if anything I'm saying doesn't make sense. Please ask a question in the comments. Let me know what you're thinking. So that was that's the first reason I think that we we use That that statement or that phrase as a response in conflict.

The second one that I come up with is.

This.

Some use it and I would say that most mostly unknowingly so that when when people use it, they do it mostly unknowingly as a prideful act of self-proclaimed. Spiritual maturity. And what do I mean by that?

In other words, it is an easy way to reveal our spiritual superiority over another person.

Especially.

When there when there's eyes of onlookers watching on. Especially in the eyes of onlookers. I wrote it better than I said it. Because some people want to argue instead of discuss the subject with love.

That's exactly where I'm going. Yep. So we tend to use the phrase to get out of the discussion all together.

Absolutely.

Fantastic. That's exactly. Yep. That's exactly what I'm saying. Tammy. You got it. I'm glad we're glad we're in agreement on that.

But yeah.

Second reason why I think that we use this phrase. It is an easy way to reveal our spiritual superiority over another especially in the eyes of onlookers. We can show how spiritual we are By saying let's just agree to disagree.

Think those are the two often main reasons why we use that phrase. But unfortunately and you can correct me if you think I'm wrong I believe that both responses are sinful. Number of the first response supports a Willingness to remain blind to the unresolved conflict.

And then the second one is risk is a response that is prideful which is of course sinful in and of itself and Then it's much more sinful when we remain in that pride and we Remain in that disagreement and an unresolved conflict.

So there.

With all that said. What could somebody be thinking? What could someone be saying to me right now and in response to all that I just said.

You're.

I'm taking it to the extreme cases.

And.

Aren't there, you know. Aren't there smaller less significant spiritual matters that you know that we can have Disagreements on and yet still have fellowship. Can't we you know disagree with one another and still have fellowship?

It sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill and it could sound that way and. And yes, I can hear those responses to what I've been saying because yeah, there are spiritual matters. There are spiritual differences where we we will disagree.

But we can still have fellowship with one another and there are some disagreements that we will have with folks that are that are of Such importance in our, you know Christianity that we we just can't have fellowship with those folks.

For example. You know, we believe that Jesus is God now there may be someone of another Religion cult that may say we believe in Jesus, but we don't believe that he's God. That they may use the same name But it's a totally different person and we can't have fellowship with those folks.

So that's just an example, but there are smaller matters that we can have disagreement on and yet still have fellowship. So why are you making this? Why are you making this apply to all? Disagreements and.

And.

And what about those smaller matters. Can we can we still have fellowship and have disagreement on those smaller matters. And so let me answer Those questions that I just presented. Yes we can have fellowship and still have disagreements, but then there's also a no and I'm going to qualify it like this.

If.

We want to hold on to this phrase. Let's just agree to disagree. Then then no. The answer is no to those questions. There there aren't you know small less significant matters that we can have disagreements on and and still have fellowship.

If we're going to use that phrase, let's just agree to disagree and there's a reason. We can have different disagreements and differences and yet remain in fellowship. However, and I want I want this to be clear.

However agreeing to disagree ignores the fact that God is truth. Agreeing to disagree Ignores the fact that God is true. What does John 14 verse 6 say. Jesus says I'm the way the truth and the life and then John 17 17 says Sanctify them in truth thou word is truth.

Therefore ignoring the fact that truth exists creates a shallow false sense of fellowship. So when we say let's just agree to disagree we are ignoring the fact that there's there's a standard out there that there's a truth that we must pursue and and we remain blind or ignore the our differences to have this false sense of fellowship and ignore that pursuit of truth and and it almost in essence ignores the fact there's a a What's the word I'm looking for there's a truth out there black and white.

What is the word I'm looking for? Absolute truth that there's absolute truth out there and God is that absolute truth? Jesus said he is that absolute truth and that his word is that absolute truth and we don't want in any way to ignore the fact that that absolute truth is out there and it exists and Fail to pursue it.

So, how can we how can we have fellowship despite disagreeing? That's the question then if we're not allowed to or if we shouldn't use that phrase Let's just agree to disagree because it ignores the fact that God is truth.

It ignores the fact that there's an absolute truth out there just that we can have this false sense of fellowship or or peace. So we can have this with jaw or flight response. How can we have fellowship despite disagreeing with one another and not sin.

Let's start with this this quick phrase number one. Let's both acknowledge that an absolute truth exists and that Absolute truth is God himself God the Father God the Son Holy God the Holy Spirit and his word.

There let's agree that there's an absolute truth out there. Number two. Let's both acknowledge that neither or none of us are the source of that truth. So if we have those two things settled we can we can really move forward if we can come into agreement that there's an absolute truth out there and and this is this is mainly between Christians having a disagreement or conflict with one another and remember when I define conflict Most of the time when somebody says the word conflict What comes to our mind is?

Something negative an argument, you know. Two people both responding with that fight or attack Mentality, but it doesn't have to be that way a conflict does not have to be Unrest or or aggressive a conflict can be civil.

It's just a discussion of differences and an argument doesn't have to be negative an argument can just be a Discussion of differences and so between Christians we can acknowledge that an absolute truth exists and Acknowledge that none of us and neither of us are that source of truth.

That's one and that's two and I'm answering the question. How can we have fellowship despite disagreeing and not sin? So my third my third and final step here Requires just a little explanation until we get to the end.

So, let me let me begin the explanation on step number three just as God and This this goes back to 2nd Corinthians chapter 5 verses 11 through 21. Just as God is in the ministry of reconciliation He says that we are as well and in like manner so At one point in our lives We we were in disagreement with God.

I mean this is This is a really simple way to put it, but it's it's a very understandable way to put it At one point in our lives. We were in disagreement with God, right? Then he changed our hearts and Then we became in agreement with him.

I agree with him that I need it I'm that I'm a sinner that I need a Savior and Then I agree to that response of repentance and putting my faith in Jesus so at one point we were in disagreement with him and Then he changed our hearts and then we've become in agreement with him and there's that ministry of reconciliation that God is about and that is a simple way to understand justification and Then secondly as we begin to grow in holiness The Holy Spirit Continually, and this is what growing in holiness means in a simple understandable way.

The Holy Spirit continually brings us into agreement with his truth over time and this is what we know as sanctification growing in holiness conforming to his truth and and not our own and That sanctification so that's the ministry of reconciliation and in like manner God has put us also in the ministry of reconciliation.

Being reconciled first to God and then being reconciled with one another. So what does that mean for us? Ask yourself ask yourselves these questions ask yourself this these questions. I apologize. Can we agree to disagree with God?

Can we agree to disagree with with the scripture. Can we agree to disagree with Jesus? Can we agree to disagree with the Holy Spirit? Can you just imagine that? We're the Holy Spirit is growing us in sanctification growing us in holiness and he reveals this truth to us that he wants us to.

He wants us to leave our false understanding of this truth and he wants us to come Into conformity with Christ into agreement with him that this is right that this is the truth. Could you imagine yourself saying Holy Spirit?

You know, I'm just gonna have to agree to disagree. To me the way that comes across to me would be Offensive to God offensive to Christ and offensive to the Holy Spirit. For us to have that kind of response to him conforming us to his truth.

Therefore since since the Holy Spirit role is to point the light on Jesus Christ and Conform us to his likeness which is sanctification. That should be our goal as well. We should want folks to come to God and be reconciled to him and then Grow in holiness and be conformed to the image of the Son.

That should be our goal in dealing with one another in our conflict our disagreements with one another. Therefore instead of saying let's just agree to disagree. Our goal with each other should be to pursue truth together with grace.