Parenting In Perilous Times (Lecture 3)

LaRue Baptist Church, OH

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Where are the penance

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I don't know all right well let's let's get started all right let's pray father thank you for this day thank you for the opportunity we have to look into your word help us now to think through these things for your glory that we can show the world how disciples of Jesus are in the home and we just pray that you would help us to learn tonight and Lord don't let this just become something new that we tuck away but that it would change us as we consider what you call us to do thank you in Jesus name

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Amen Jacob is rebel he's done with his parents he hates to be around them and his two sisters he rarely talks to anyone in his family we does talk it's usually an explosion of rage he avoids his dad like the plague and treats his mom like trash with mocking words and defiant tones

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Jacob stays in his room if he's home but he tries to spend as much time as he can away from home with his friends his grades have plunged and it's not unusual anymore for his folks to get a call from school saying that something has happened with Jacob there is some incident

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Jacob who's 17 makes no bones about the fact that when he gets to be 18 he cannot wait to get out of this stupid house his parents are completely perplexed

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I just don't understand it says dad we were at the church every time the doors were open we had family devotions every day we raised him to be a good boy mom chimes in when we when he disobeyed we were sure to discipline him how could he embarrass us this way doesn't he see what he's doing not just to himself but to us now we've all heard those stories from friends we all know that's not an unfamiliar story to us maybe you're even facing this or you see things headed that way and some folks write kids off and they just say well you know every every family has an

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Esau right but before we dismiss the Esau's of this world it's good to examine our parenting see many parents are unaware of the danger in raising their kids there's a danger involved and that's because they don't have any idea where they want to take their children they don't have any destination in mind either so tonight we want to explore the danger to avoid and the destination to pursue with our children let's turn again to Ephesians 6 4

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Ephesians 6 4 here we read again fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the disciplined and instruction of the

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Lord all right notice the danger that God identifies do not provoke your children to anger and also the goal that's indicated with the words but bring them up bring them up to head in a certain direction now we need to be aware of the danger excuse me for a moment

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I don't know what happened here I know what happened there's a danger to be to be avoided we have to be aware of the danger okay there is a danger in raising our children what is it it is simply do not provoke your children to anger do not provoke your children to anger now what does that mean what does that mean you know some kids who've grown up in Christian homes they get wise to it and their their their mom or their dad says something to them and they say be careful dad you know the

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Bible says don't provoke me to anger what is that what it means let's think about that it does not mean that we never upset annoy or disappoint our children nor does it imply that we withhold from them something that they desperately want that's not what it means in fact you see something here in 2nd

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Kings I think is real important 2nd Kings chapter 1 2nd

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Kings 1 verses 5 and 6 now what we have here is it's not it's 1st

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Kings not 2nd Kings sure that didn't look right 1st Kings chapter 1 you find here one of David's son

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Adonijah and Adonijah is seeking to mount a palace coup he's going to throw his father off the throne and so he starts gathering people starts gathering his co -conspirators it says in verse 5 now

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Adonijah the son of Hagith exalted himself saying I will be king and he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen and 50 men to run before him now note his father had never at any time displeased him by asking why have you done thus and so is that interesting here's a boy who's rebellious because his father never withheld anything from him never really crossed him so it doesn't mean that you never upset annoy or disappoint your children it does mean to to not bring up your child in such a way that he becomes an angry person one that's characterized by perpetual resentment or explosive anger impulsive anger a key verse here is

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Proverbs 25 28 Proverbs 25 28 a man without self -control or or I think

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NIV has it a man who cannot control his spirit is like a city broken into and left without walls now it's talking about the walls that defend the city a man who has no self -control is like a defenseless city

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I think about this here's someone who's angry right his teachers make him angry his parents make him angry his brothers and sisters make him angry you know the coach makes him angry here's a guy who's defenseless he's at the mercy of everybody everybody around him you know tempts him towards anger he's like a city without walls he's defenseless he's not in control everyone else is now as we look at Ephesians 6 4 do not provoke your children to anger the amplified version says it this way fathers do not irritate and provoke your children to anger do not exasperate them to resentment we should we should avoid exasperating our children to the point of deep and abiding resentment the parallel here is

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Colossians chapter 3 verse 21 in Colossians 3 21 we read fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged don't take the wind out of their sails okay well what does someone who's provoked look like what does that look like it looks like open rebellion blowing up okay it's someone who's blowing up someone who just explodes okay so or it's someone who expresses it in passive rebellion blowing up or clamming up resentment apathy subpar performance maybe rebellion with a smile or rebellion with silence and many parents accept this kind of anger because it doesn't bother them so say

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Levi I want you to take out the garbage he says me take out the garbage why me why don't you ask

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Calvin why don't you ask Yance why don't you ask one of our sisters why is it always me right he's really mad he's having what you're gonna get all over that right so that one day the next day you say

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Annie why don't you take out the garbage and Annie goes pulls the garbage out and wraps it up she's mumbling mumbling the whole time and butts open the door and stuffs it in the can and she's grumbling the whole time and and everything but you don't get over that you know why you don't get on that why not because the garbage made it out right good to see you

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Jackson all right so a lot of parents don't like the first but they'll accept the second right they have compliance at least now we're going to talk in a little bit about the goal because both of them are missing the goal but too often we don't get much further than I got compliance rather than what the attitude that's being shown so you've got what does it mean to provoke a child to anger it means bring them up in such a way that you end up with open rebellion or this passive resentful kind of rebellion both are rebellion okay how do you exasperate your children well here's one when you're a passive or permissive parent

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I think two great examples are David and Jacob right

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David and Jacob you don't see either one of them really correcting their boys they just seem to to not bother with it it's often expressed like this it's often has this kind of expression well it's no big deal that's the way a four -year -old acts that's the way a six -year -old acts that's the way a ten -year -old acts well of course you're on it they're rebellious that's the way a sixteen -year -old acts right they often express that way or he's too young to understand right he's too young to understand he just won't understand or this one

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I love this I don't know what I'll do with this kid we haven't done anything and so at this point you don't know what to do you know what many dads are too lazy to be leaders you know to be a leader means you're gonna make decisions that won't sit well with some people and too many dads don't like the idea of their kids being unsettled or angry or anything like that so they don't just don't want to make the decisions too often dads are lazy and that leads to angry children look at Proverbs chapter 13 verse 24 whoever spares the rod hates his son but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him

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Wow okay if you spare the rod you actually hate your children or this one the rod and reproof gives wisdom but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother and shoots up a local elementary school listen the violence that we're seeing today the violence that we're seeing today

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I would suggest is not because all those children grew up in abusive homes I would suggest to you that it's because we've had two generations now of parents who won't take control and you leave a child left to you know we're all born depraved right violence is born in a human heart and if you do nothing to curb it that violence will come to full flower it's born in a human heart now some children may not be as violent as others but all's

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I'm saying to you is a passive permissive parent is headed for trouble that one proverb really grabs my attention a child left to himself bring shame to his mother all you have to do then is don't do anything and you will end up with an angry child you will exasperate your children when you have no grace in your home what strikes me here is first Thessalonians chapter 7 chapter 2 verses 7 8 where the

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Apostle Paul talking about his relationship to the Thessalonians at one point he calls himself their father at another point he says

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I was like your mother I'm like a nursing mother to you but at one point he says look

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I didn't just share my life with you I mean I didn't just share the gospel with you

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I shared my life there was lots of grace in that relationship in Isaiah 65 you see

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God God graciously holding his arms out too many homes run on law that is to say do what's right and you'll be rewarded but mess up and you're in big trouble in homes like that parents are sure to tell their children when they've done wrong they're sure to tell everybody else how their children are doing wrong and all they recall is the wrong things they do there's little place for repentance and little hope for forgiveness and restored relationships and they act as if the wrongdoing is all there is to this kid parents have the attitude

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I'll love you if you perform well if you do what you're supposed to do then

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I'll accept you now I'm not making a case here for what we typically called unconditional love

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I really don't like that because that essentially says just be as bad as you want to be and I'll just always love you and there's an element of truth but it's not what we need to be thinking here's what you need to remember there is plenty of room for love and affection in all those hours of the day when your child isn't being a rat okay there's plenty of time for love and affection in those times and you show your affection as much as you can here's another way that graceless homes exhibit themselves children have to do everything correctly every time right you left your book bag son you left your book bag here now we've talked about that okay or there's a pencil on the table what have we said when you're done with your playing on the table you're gonna pick up your there's a pencil there right or oh

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I don't know hey come here there is a spoon in the fork section here okay what have we done we've what we've talked about being careless with our chores haven't we right and so kids get this idea they got to do right all the time or they're gonna be in trouble there's no room for mistakes there's no room for forgetting but everything must be done right all the time okay be very careful about that I love what

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Wayne Mack says home for the child must be a safe place a place where he will be understood and helped a place where people will not mock him or make fun of his faults and weaknesses a place where people may disagree with him but still welcome and respect him a place where people will encourage him and bind up his wounds a place where people really care about him now don't take

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Wayne Mack to say don't hear him saying so you don't do anything you just coddle your kids what he's saying is there's more to a child than his behavior and and everything it's got to be a place of grace here's another way we exasperate our children when we handle our anger in unbiblical ways

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James 1 19 and 20 says though the wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God now that doesn't mean that parents never get angry but what it does mean is too often we think that if we just explode enough if we get angry enough the kids will fall into line wrong

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Ephesians 4 26 and 27 don't let the

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Sun go down on your anger and give the devil a foothold and you know what there are some parents who they're silent for days making sure everybody knows just how mad mad dad is because you failed here and now everybody walks on eggshells everybody walks on eggshells because we all know dad's mad and that goes on for days the

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Bible says don't let that happen or you blow up so everyone everyone is like living at the foot of the volcano that's a the formula for producing exasperated kids it's another one when you never repent and ask for forgiveness when you never repent and ask for forgiveness there's always room for repentance you need to if you're gonna be a disciple of Jesus and be in the habit if you sin against your children you need to repent and ask their forgiveness many many years ago

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I sat in my office with a man who actually at times would sit in the living room with his gun to make sure everybody told the line in that family all night

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I said to him you know what you need to do you need to go home you need to ask your wife you need to ask your children to forgive you for your sin his response was

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I could never do that why not because they won't respect me if I do that now by the way

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I'm not gonna tell him they probably will I'm not even gonna tell them him that because they might not but that's not the reason why you do it and when

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I when I turned to first Peter 5 5 where it says God gives grace or God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble every time

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I read that verse I think of that particular individual and this is what

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I told him I said if you don't do it I'll tell you who be against you the most powerful being in the universe will be against you you want that to happen and you know what if you do humble yourself

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God will give you grace he'll give you the grace to do it and if your family doesn't respect you he'll give you the grace to handle it you don't want

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God against you well here's the point I'm making if you never repent and ask for forgiveness right you'll you'll raise angry children and I can tell you this right now his family was in compliance until his son got bigger and stronger and faster than him and he didn't do it anymore after that okay but he lost his son he lost his son made him an angry man here's another way of producing exasperation when you use sarcasm and ridicule all right when you make fun of your children and they become the butt of your jokes and when they do something wrong you make some kind of a joke about it you'll produce exasperated children when you're when you're not careful about the way you reprimand or correct your children now what do

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I mean by that do you make their sins public I mean okay

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I think this is a principle I can't insist on this particular application of the principle but let me ask you this do you reprimand and discipline your children in front of other people

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I would suggest to you don't do that if they've done something you take them you get them out not even in front of their siblings you don't have to do that just get them out and and we used to go to the bathroom the bathroom was the punishment palace

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I guess take them out don't you don't need to get on your kids in front of all the guests that are there okay you can quietly say come with me and leave you need to think of your tone of voice and the words that you use you call them names when you're disciplining them do you call them names or even when you're not do you have nicknames for them that you know that's just kind of denigrating and you pull that out when you want to make your point be careful about the way you reprimand or correct your children you know what we really do need to treat our children with respect and not with contempt all right now here's another one when you don't make your expectations rules and regulations clear right she walks across the she walks across the your the floor that you've just cleaned with her muddy boots and you're all over her and the next day she does the same thing but you're in a good mood and nothing happens right that'll produce angry children because they don't know what what do

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I have to do okay what's expected of me so beware and avoid the danger of exasperating your children okay so it's not that I don't deny them anything it's not that I don't say no but it is

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I respond to them in certain ways that can stir up that contempt them towards anger and just exasperation all right you need to be aware of the destination you must pursue now

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I'm going to say this as clear as I can this part of what

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I'm going to tell you is probably the most significant thing that changed the way I related to my kids this part right here this this is the thing that helped me in incredible ways okay so I want you to listen and you know what kind of pressures on you when you say things like that and your children are sitting here you know you kind of wait for them to go yeah not not quite listen this is really important because this really helps you sort out stuff a destination to pursue how would you complete this sentence the goal for my children is what if you can't fill that in that blank then you're not up to the challenge of your children you've got to be able to put something in that blank you must have a destination you must have a goal for your children where do you want them when they leave home what do you want them to be when they're walking out the door and going you've got to have that in your mind this is the thing that really helped me a lot okay this is what helped me a lot now question why should you have a goal in raising your children well the first thing you need to understand is you have a goal whether you recognize it or not everybody has a goal sadly too often too often it's nothing more than do whatever you want as long as it doesn't bother me that's your goal sometimes it's all

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I want you to I just want you to do what I say and that's the goal that everybody has a goal even if you can't articulate one you're operating with one you do have a goal in mind now why should you have a goal because a goal directs your choices as you raise your children it's going to direct your choices as you raise your children if you want a son who be really coordinated if you want a son who gets a scholarship to a division one school then you are going to skip church to go to all the tournaments all summer long because that's that important to you that's what you're so that'll that'll form your choices if you think it's important that your daughter be popular attractive you might go along with her when he bought when she buys the blouse that's cut down to here and the skirt that's cut up to here you might go along with that if if that's what you're thinking if your goal for your daughter is that she learned to understand life from God's perspective you're gonna make different choices if you value godliness above athletic prowess that'll you'll make different choices the goal that you have for your children whether you can articulate it or not you have a goal and whatever goal you have is going to direct your choices in everything that you do helping a goal or having a goal helps you in the long run you can see past the trials you can see past the hard times to what you want to accomplish you can see that Paul Tripp in his book age of opportunity by the way that is a great book okay so okay footnote or at the end of this whole thing the bibliography two books

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I think are really good one is shepherding a child's heart that gives you a general overall idea but it deals mostly with children and that's

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Ted Tripp and his brother Paul Tripp wrote a book called age of opportunity okay a biblical guide to parenting teens those two books are exceptional so so I'd say that so Paul writes this you cannot expect that when the moment is tense and the emotions are high you'll be able to think clearly biblically and concretely you have to enter those times with your children with a pre commitment to a concrete set of goals so what he's saying here and it's right is that when you have a goal and all of a sudden you're in the midst of this incredibly intense situation and you're tempted to blow up you're tempted to take your child and lock him in the garage for the next 60 days okay when when you're tempted that way the goal in your mind is going to say okay wait a minute if I lock him up for 60 days he's gonna miss that goal and I if I say things right now and do things right now it'll it'll might swerve him away from the destination

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I want to take him what I what do I have to do at this moment to help him get there you see it helps you in the long run it helps you in the long run you you don't just see this trial this hardship with your son or your daughter you say okay we got a problem here now how can

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I handle this in a way that will move him to that goal so okay and we're gonna we're gonna articulate this goal a little bit but with that goal and with the goal that God gives us in my head

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I would always be asking questions like this okay does is this are they doing something right now that'll keep them from reaching the goal here's the illustration

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I use all the time okay I go to bed I get a call at one o 'clock in the morning which is never a good thing right no one ever calls the pastor at one o 'clock in the morning saying man thank you for doing our wedding that was wonderful that doesn't happen typically it's a crisis so you get up you go to the hospital you're there until 6 in the morning and you've got appointments that day so then you go home you go to the office you get those done

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Sunday's coming I got to get my sermon done right you got all that going on and then you go home and you walk in the door girls

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I'm gonna use the boys again Annie and Lydia and there are the boys are jumping on each other and rolling around and wrestling and everything else what do you think

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I want to do at that moment what do you think I want to do not just stop it but scream at them and say what are you doing stop it will you please stop now why am

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I doing that I'm tired I've got

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I didn't get any sleep I'm really tired I just want peace and quiet oh stop this right but then

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I have to say to myself are they doing something right now that's gonna keep them from that goal and the answer is no they're being boys all right so just cool it jet cool your jets they're not doing something okay but then if their mom comes into the room and she's got some work to do or sewing to do it's time to stop why because they got to put her interests above their own so cool it now go outside your mom has some things to do

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I'll tell you what if any of you ever heard of the band arson's daughter yeah how funny that a majority of you would know that that band's name but when that that band started

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I remember Becca saying to me and it was it was probably the worst band I ever heard right of two of my boys were you know in it and I remember

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Becca saying to me no don't you think you ought to tell him no and I thought no they're not doing something right now that keeps them from the goal

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I hate their music I hate it but they're not doing anything keeps her from the goal so I'll never forget the time she said do you think the people in church will find out never tell you that yet well we'll have to deal with that then right now there's a whole lot more that goes into that story which will probably come up later but the point is the goal helps you sort things out it you know discipline and teaching and so forth pursuing a goal equips your children for life if you're pursuing a goal you're equipping them for life all right you want to take them somewhere and so if that's your goal then in the process you're going to equip them to live life in this culture all right by the way it's the way that God operates with us

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God has a goal with us someone read Hebrews 12 5 through 11 by the way you're gonna need your

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Bibles because we're gonna have a bunch that we need to read okay Hebrews 12 5 through 11 okay 5 count all right

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Lydia what's that that's okay you volunteered good for you right so God has a goal to share in his holiness to experience or to produce righteousness which then leads to peace okay so that's what goal that's the goal

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God has for us so if God operates with the gold and so should we what are some common goals today what are some common goals well here are some

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I want my child to be a success however you define that right to live a happy comfortable life

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I want my child to be a success I want him to have better than I ever did right

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I want my child to be well adjusted I don't want him to be some kind of a freak right a nerd

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I want to be well adjusted I want my child to get by now this usually becomes the goal for our children when we've not thought ahead to what we really want them to be when they leave home and the pace of life is so hectic that we just get our kids over the next hump life gets so hectic that all's we're trying to do is get them over the next hump right and you don't think long -range you're just thinking about what do we got to do to get by okay or another one

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I want my child to be well -behaved oh that sounds good that sounds great but if that's all you're going for you're gonna miss the goal you're gonna miss the goal if you cut that off from a biblical understanding of a goal to serve

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Christ's kingdom to be what God wants them to be that just becomes a classy way of of manipulating them okay

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I want my child to get a good education all right there's a lot of parents

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I've met lots of parents who say I really want them to get a good education because in their view an education is the answer to all the problems get them educated they've got all kinds of opportunities

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I want a child I can control or that will be compliant you know some parents seem that they they have to control everything and some apparent some parents are afraid of their children achieving independence they have an idolatrous lust oftentimes for everything to remain the same we don't want anything to change all right and they don't want their lovely family to change they want it all to be the same they just they just don't like it they got a control or compliance a kid who will do what

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I want when I want you say well what's wrong with that we want our children to obey yes you do but if that becomes your goal if that's your goal you're gonna use all kinds of sinful methods you're gonna get them to do it you want them to do by the way what's the common element there

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I want them to do what I want them to do when I want to do that when I want them to do it what's the common element there it's me okay

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I want my life to be easy he will obey okay now if you want to know what your goal is then just examine your attitudes and actions with your children stop take a look take an inventory what are my attitudes toward my children what are the actions in relationship to them that will tell you what your goal is right all right so if I'm standing back here shaking hands with people now it doesn't happen now

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I can't imagine one of my kids walking up and kicking me in the shins but let's say I'm standing there

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I don't think they do that I'm standing there shaking hands with people and one of my kids comes up when they're little and they want to talk to me and they're standing there and they kind of tug it at my sleeve and I just keep talking and finally one of them kicks me they just kicked me to get my attention and man

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I am madder than hops now why why because you just embarrassed me by the way that's a very common goal that's a very common goal and that is

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I don't want children who will embarrass me okay now look don't don't hear what

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I'm not saying I'm not saying so because they kick you you don't do anything about it no what

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I'm saying is oftentimes that's our only goal because because my child may do something else that's wrong when no one else is around and I don't deal with it why it's not embarrassing me right so look at what you're doing and that'll tell you what your goal is okay and why you're doing it all right what's

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God's goal for our children let's start looking up verses I'm gonna sign verses here Matthew 5 16 we'll read that Dennis Yance Philippians 120

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Psalm 73 25 and 26 Caleb Matthew 28 18 through 20

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Steve Hebrews 12 10 and 11 Lydia Proverbs 1 1 through 4

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Micah 2nd Peter 1 3 and 4 Pam Proverbs 4 23

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Lee Genesis 2 24

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Jake Wow guys this is great all right

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Matthew 5 16 all right

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I want my kids to live in such a way that people will see their good works and I'll talk about God a

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Philippians 120 this verse to me is just wildly unbelievably crazy because this guy's up for a hearing that's going to determine whether he lives or dies and he says here's what

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I'm really concerned about people see Jesus whether they chop off my head or let me go that just blows my mind but that tells us something of the way we ought to operate right no matter what my circumstances good or bad

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I want people to see Jesus so I want my children to glorify God Psalm 73 25 and 26 all right

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I want them to find pleasure in God I want them to learn how to enjoy God Matthew 28 18 through 20 well there's a great family verse even though you might not think of it that way

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I want my children to be disciples of Jesus they're part of my Great Commission I've got to try to make disciples

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I need to make disciples of my children Hebrews 12 10 and 11 all right

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I want holiness and righteousness I want my children to share in God's holiness I want them to know to be righteous

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Proverbs chapter 1 1 through 4 all right

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I want them to live a prudent disciplined life with the ability to do what is right and just and fair that's what

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I want them to be able to do all right Proverbs 4 23 right everything comes from my heart you remember what it says in Matthew 15 1 through 20 where Jesus is talking to his disciples and they say hey did you know the

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Pharisees are mad at you because you didn't do the washings and he says look it's not what goes into a man that defiles him it's what comes out all the adulteries you see everything comes from the heart of man that is to say everything that appears out here starts inside so I want my children to be able to have a biblical self -awareness that when they come to grips with oh man

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I shouldn't have done that I want them to start asking the question why did I do that what did

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I want what was my desire what was I trying to get from them and so I want to bring them up in such a way that they're doing that they're they're looking at themselves and trying to figure out why did

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I do that now this is where a lot of parents fail they're only after behavior not after understanding the hearts of their children and they're not after teaching their children to understand their own hearts that they understand

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I did this because of what I wanted or I had a desire for whatever a

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Genesis 2 24 all right the positive goal of independence now you've got a little box there that tells you to fill in the blanks cross that out

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I'm gonna give you the goal that I memorized I was trying to get fancy when

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I did this a few years ago fancy doesn't work so I'm gonna give you the goal that I memorized it has it's not that hard to memorize it has three main clauses here they are oops sorry sorry about that too here we go yes godly independent disciples who love and serve

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God who love and serve others you can handle life by handling God's Word this is what

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I had ringing in my head all the time I want God the independent disciples who love and serve

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God love and serve others and can handle life by handling God's Word I want them to be independent

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I want them to be godly disciples of Jesus I also want them to love and serve

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God and I want them to love and serve others and I want them to be able to open the

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Bible when they have problems and find the answers there when they need direction in their lives

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I want them to have the ability to open the Word of God and to understand why

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I'm doing what I'm doing what I need to do I want them to open the Bible to be able to make decisions by the will of God so godly independent disciples who love and serve

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God love and serve others and who can handle life by handling God's Word now

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I'm not kidding you that's what was ringing in my mind all the time I'm saying okay this is what

52:29

I want what does that mean now what kind of discipline does this require what kind of teaching does this require what kind of response for me does this require in order for them to get there and so I had this in my head by the way memorize this or memorize something that came to it from whatever we studied here tonight but have a goal in your head okay not to put too fine a point on it but have a goal in your head that's there all the time okay and so what happens then instead of instead of children who are mere successes or who seem to get by or whatever you will have equipped them for life that's the bottom line the bottom line is not compliance the bottom line is not success the bottom line is will they be equipped to live in this culture for the glory of God what do

53:40

I have to do to equip them to do that all right I always thought we always thought that hard work is something that God required make it your ambition to live a quiet life my father taught me that and so because of that you know our kids will tell you that we treat them like slaves all right well we did but that for a reason because it seems that if they're going to make it in life they got to learn to work and it doesn't matter whether you're a teacher or whether you work in a factory you've got to work hard and so we would do things that would push them right my boys can tell you about all the horrible things they did scraping the house all the paint off the house the girls had your stuff and we pushed you too right yeah we did but we want to equip them for life right you want to equip them to be able to live life with the glory of God question is are you serious about that goal that's a good question listen to Ted Tripp well this this really like was a knife to my heart listen to what he says we pander to our children's desires and wishes we teach them to find their delight their souls delight going places and doing things we attempt to satisfy their lust for excitement we fill their young lives with distractions from God we give them material things and take the light and their delight in their possession then we hope that somewhere down the line they will see that a life worth living is found only in knowing and serving

55:44

God right the goal is going to inform your choices so if you're serious then the content of everyday life has to fit that objective and so I would say to you everything you do with your children for your children to your children must serve the goal now

56:09

I'm not exaggerating someone would say to me okay yeah all right I'm sure

56:14

I remember that I remember you taking your kids to the zoo how does that serve the goal

56:20

I'll tell you how I want to have a good time with my kids so that we would we would our affectionate bonds would grow stronger so that when they were 16 still want to talk to me so I could still teach them in 16 everything you do with your children for your children to your children should serve that goal everything okay

56:47

I love this passage about John the Baptist the angel is talking to Baptist he says he will be a joy and delight to you and many will rejoice because of his birth for he will be great on the football field for he will be great in his admission to Harvard no he will be great in the sight of the

57:14

Lord that's what I want that's what you want that's what you're waiting for so that in this whole enterprise of raising children you have to be aware of the danger and be aware of the destination beware of treating your children such a way they become angry resentful people look carefully how you relate to your kids are you exasperated and then be aware of where you can take them where do you want to take them what do you want them to be like all right that's good

58:49

Pam said that when you look at Esau he looked like the successful one right everybody loved

58:56

Esau right and and but what was his character like he was he was a impulse driven guy okay all right okay well let's pray and we'll be dismissed then all right thanks father again for your grace gracious words to us in the scriptures help us we pray to take these to heart and to seek to make them a part of our life

59:32

Lord help us to remind us that we won't do it perfectly that we're gonna fail we're gonna stumble but Lord we pray that you give us perseverance remembering that in our stumbles you forgive us for Jesus sake but then that means we can just keep on going and building and working so help us to do that we pray in Jesus name