Should We Bring Bullying Back?

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00:00

Assuming the guy is also good at knowing, it's not just always insults all the time and there are actually moments of true, normal encouragement in the form of like, good job, hey you did good.

00:20

Those people, I typically tend to trust when they say that, that they actually mean it a lot more because I know they don't do that all the time.

01:07

Any hope of salvation, any hope of heaven. They will hear his words, they will not act upon them and when the floods of divine judgment, when the fires of wrath come, they will be consumed and they will perish.

01:33

God wrapped himself in flesh, condescended and became a man, died on the cross for sin, was resurrected on the third day, has ascended to the right hand of the father where he sits now to make intercession for us.

01:50

Jesus is saying there is a group of people who will hear his words, they will act upon them and when the floods of divine judgment come in that final day, their house will stand.

02:03

Welcome to Bible Bash, where we aim to equip the saints for the works of ministry by answering the questions you're not allowed to ask.

02:09

We're your host, Harrison Kerrigan, Pastor Tim Mullett, and today we'll answer the age -old question, should we bring bullying back?

02:17

And I know this is, Tim, a question that many people are asking. I mean, I just see people talking about this everywhere, day and night, talking about why aren't we bullying more, you know?

02:30

And so, people, so obviously no one, obviously people are not typically saying that, but then we feel compelled to ask that question.

02:39

So, why is that, Tim? Why do we feel so compelled to ask the question, should we bring bullying back?

02:45

I thought the whole point was we need to eradicate bullying. I mean, I think a lot of people, a lot of people have the sense right now that we are way on the sensitive side of things and you perhaps have, you know, completely overreacted to this concept where anything and everything now can be considered bullying.

03:07

And so, it doesn't seem like that we're very balanced on this issue for sure. Yeah, you know, and I can definitely think of one example of this.

03:15

We were talking about this earlier, but I wanted to bring it up during the show. You know, when

03:20

I was a younger kid, when I was in middle school, when I was in high school, I played a ton of Call of Duty.

03:27

I played a ton of Call of Duty, Modern Warfare 1, Modern Warfare 2, Black Ops, World at War.

03:34

I played all of these games and this, you know, this was back around like 2000, somewhere between 2007, 2009, somewhere in there.

03:45

And I remember one of the rites of passage when you're playing these online games, when you're playing against other real people, is you are inevitably going to run into, you know, certain game lobbies where guys will have their microphone connected and they will say some of the rudest and some of the nastiest things you have ever heard anyone utter in your entire life.

04:10

And it was kind of, like I said, a rite of passage where, you know, if you're any good at the game, the number one way you knew you were good at the game is if after the game is over and you can finally hear the other team talk, they all start cussing at you and calling you names and, you know, insulting you in all these different ways that I don't necessarily care to repeat here on the show since we're a kid -friendly show here.

04:40

And so, I'm trying to protect everyone from, you know, my 2007 experience on these online games.

04:49

But, you know, I mean, you would hear all these things and normally if you're the person playing and you have all these people insulting you, the response,

04:57

I don't know if everyone had this response, but the response I had was like, oh, I'm good.

05:04

I'm good at this game because I'm making people so mad that they're insulting me in all these ways.

05:09

And there is really nothing, you know, the people who made the game could do to really, like, you know, to regulate this stuff.

05:17

I mean, it's just like you're just chatting to each other and it's not even typed out normally or anything.

05:23

And so, you could report people, I think, but I don't know. I don't know. I don't remember ever doing that and I don't remember ever hearing people do that or anything really ever coming of it.

05:35

And so, that's kind of like the experience, you know, back in the late 2010s or whatever they're called.

05:44

But then, you know, now they're still making Call of Duties, by the way, which is insane.

05:51

This game has been coming out, like, every year for the past 20 -something years, but they're making this game.

05:57

It's still wildly popular. Millions of people play this game every year. They just released the newest one.

06:03

And in the newest one, they make you, before you can ever play multiplayer, they make you sign an electronic waiver or agreement or whatever they're calling it.

06:15

Essentially saying, I will show respect. I will not be mean in any way whatsoever to anyone. And I understand

06:21

I can, you know, there might be repercussions if I don't follow the, you know, respect online guidelines or whatever.

06:31

And it's like, man, those kids are missing out on the experience

06:37

I had. Getting insulted, mocked. Yeah, like, how are,

06:42

I mean, I pity those kids because how are they going to know when they're good? You know, like, if you don't have everyone, you know, calling you names, insulting you, flinging all this stuff at you, how are you ever going to know when you're good or not?

06:56

But obviously, you know, I mean, that's kind of stupid, but it does show, I think.

07:02

There's been a dramatic change. Yeah, the progression from, like, hey, you've got 10 -year -olds playing this game, and there's grown men, you know, insulting them because the children are better than the grown men half the time.

07:18

But yeah, it does show that progression from, like, well, now you can't say anything.

07:26

And if you do, I mean, I don't know how effective their actual, that agreement they're making you sign actually is, but just the fact that it's there to begin with is like, well, we've obviously progressed into a new era where, you know,

07:41

I think the overall sentiment is essentially like, hey, we must eradicate bullying and, you know, defeat online bullying and all these things.

07:52

Whereas, you know, when I was growing up, it was just like, I don't think people really cared all that much. And, you know, if you're playing the game and you get insulted by the 30 -year -old dude or whatever, and you're the 10 -year -old, you know, normally, you just say something right back to them, and normally, it's just as good as what they say.

08:12

Jared So, I looked this up on ChatGPT and, yeah, you know, I was asking what bullying is or whatever, and ChatGPT said, bullying is a serious issue.

08:22

It's a serious issue. Pete It's a deadly serious issue. Jared That involves a repeated pattern of behavior intended to intimidate, offend, degrade, or humiliate a particular person or group of people.

08:34

It can take various forms with each with its own set of characteristic and potential impacts.

08:41

And so, you know, forms of bullying, right? So, there's physical bullying, which involves harmful physical actions like hitting, pushing, or damaging someone's personal property.

08:49

Then there's verbal bullying, okay? And this is a serious issue. Bullying involves insults -

08:56

Pete Not the physical one, the verbal one. Jared Insults, teasing, threats, or name -calling, you know?

09:02

So, all that stuff. Pete So, everything that I - Jared Then there's, you know, social -relational bullying, and cyber bullying, and all of this.

09:15

So, yeah, I mean, ChatGPT said it, man. This is a serious issue. Pete It's a serious problem. So, okay, it's a serious problem.

09:22

So, then Tim, please explain to me, why are we even asking, why are we even entertaining the question, should we bring bullying back?

09:30

You know, I mean, it seems like everyone is saying the answer is to eradicate this stuff. So, why are we saying, why are we asking, should it be brought back?

09:39

Tim Well, I mean, men and women communicate in different ways. And so, teasing is, I mean, teasing is the province of men.

09:44

Men like to tease each other, and it's just one of those things that the Bible obviously recognizes. So, you know,

09:51

Scripture is going to say to fathers, fathers do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the

09:58

Lord. And if you've seen men interact with children to any length of time, men can mercilessly tease their children and pick on their children.

10:06

And I mean, often it's good -natured, but then it is like, this is the language of men, right?

10:14

This is just like teasing, you know, picking on each other, mild insults, playful insults, that kind of,

10:20

I mean, that's just the way men speak with each other. And so, part of what's happening is that you have rules for communication that are being set by the way women talk to each other, okay?

10:33

So, the way women talk to each other and the way that men talk is just a very different kind of dynamic.

10:39

And so, it's interesting to watch.

10:45

So, when you think about it, I mean, like the guy's standard response used to be that, I mean, used to be all the teasing kind of stuff that you're saying.

10:52

And so, then you have to just take a step back and ask, well, what is actually happening here? And what purpose did it serve?

10:59

You know, why is it there? I mean, is it just, I mean, one answer could be that it's just the, you know, guys in the flesh walking out their fleshly impulses and, you know, they need to be civilized by women, right?

11:13

So, women are the superior communicators in this kind of way. And the guy's natural instincts about the way to communicate are just completely and totally unbiblical, not filled with the spirit, off, wrong, and they need to be brought more in line with female sensibilities.

11:26

But then, you know, part of the issue is that when you think about why men are doing this, men actually have a purpose in teasing that goes beyond just trying to tear people down, right?

11:40

So, the Bible talks about like your speech needs to be for edification or whatever. And when you think about what's happening with teasing, like just general teasing, humorous teasing,

11:50

I mean, like for many men, this is like a love language for each other. Like, you know, they enjoy it, they enjoy giving it, they enjoy receiving it.

11:58

You know, they often wish that their wife were a little better at taking it, right? And then more willing to give it back.

12:04

And so, you know, I can think of many like relational counseling situations where the guy just wishes the wife would tease him a little more, you know, mess with him a little more and she won't.

12:13

And, you know, if he tries to tease her, she gets really bent out of shape. And, you know, and I'm not saying that the women should, you know, adopt the guy's love language here or something like that.

12:25

Pete Yeah, I feel like we did an episode on that. Jared I'm not saying that, but I mean, like you have to think about, well, what is it? What is the purpose of it?

12:31

Like, what is it for? And often, like the reason why men tease each other is because of the way that they're made, okay?

12:39

So men are made to be strong and courageous and tough. And what teasing is for men is it's a way to like identify weakness and eliminate it, right?

12:50

So like men are just designed for different purposes and different functions than women. So, you know, part of what you do to men is like you tease them when you sense weakness in them.

13:01

And the reason why you're teasing them when you sense weakness in them is because you want to help like identify that, hey, there's a flaw there, right?

13:11

Pete Yeah, yeah. Jared And I'm pushing you to be a better man. Like, so a lot of that's a lot of what teasing is, it's like one man looking at another man and saying, toughen up, you know, man up, quit being a baby, you know, don't be such a crybaby, you know, don't be a wimp, right?

13:24

And a lot of that is like, you're, it's a form of accountability that is like rougher than what women would like as a form of accountability.

13:34

But like, it's designed to say, hey, yeah, toughen up. Like we are made to be strong, we're made to be tough.

13:41

And that weakness right there, we have to go to war against it together. And so we're, so it's not really meant to be personal, really at all, right?

13:51

So a lot of it, like I'm saying in the good forms, right? In the good forms, it's not really meant to be personal at all.

13:56

It's meant to be like just a form of accountability to say, hey, be a better man, right?

14:01

Toughen up, quit letting everything bug you, right? Quit being, you know, you can just look at a man and say, hey, quit being such a crybaby, right?

14:09

Quit being such a wimp. And they're like, yeah, you're right. You know? Yeah. You know, like, you know,

14:17

I've had experiences, for example, like exercising or something where, you know,

14:22

I'm, I'm exercising with some other guys that go to our church and, you know, you have like the, you get to, you know, sometimes, man, you just have those sets where it's like, you get there and you're like, man,

14:33

I just, I don't know if I can, I don't know if I can do this, man. And, you know, someone, one of the other guys will inevitably come along and just be like, oh yeah, no, you're right.

14:42

You for sure can't do it. You won't be able to, you're not strong enough, man. You can't do it. You're right, man.

14:48

Don't even try, don't even try, you know? It's like, all right, well now I've got to do it. Now I've got to do it because you, because you just said that you just challenged, you know, there's stuff like that that's like, you know, those girly arms.

15:01

What do you expect? Yeah, you know, it's like, you know, someone might hear that and, you know, it's not necessarily even said with that tone all the time.

15:08

Sometimes it's said with a little more intense of a tone, you know, but it's like, no one's mad at anyone else in that moment.

15:14

No, no one's like upset with anyone. It's just, you have one guy who's coming along, you know, he, he's seeing someone else who he, you know, that other person, they don't think they can do this thing, but, but you're coming along and you're saying like,

15:28

I know you can do this. You just need, you just need a little, you know, a little verbal encouragement, you know, and a little motivation per se to do it.

15:39

And then, and then you'll realize that it was there all along deep inside of you. So, I mean, so part of that is, so what's happening is men are made for strength and like both physical strength and mental strength and what bullying did, right?

15:53

What this teasing did, what a lot of this was meant to do and what it did in the past society was it trained, like it trained the weakness out of men, right?

16:03

So that's what it was, it was a social mechanism of men looking at other men and trying to get them to toughen up both mentally and physically.

16:13

And that's really how it functioned. So like, when you think about like a man, like what you want a man to be is you want a man to be the kind of person who can take an insult.

16:23

I mean, and you just think about like, just think about your standard war training, right?

16:30

Like think about war training, you know, maggot, get up. You know, like, like think about all the insults that are present there.

16:39

Think about what they're trying to do. Like, what are they doing? Like, what are they intended to do when you like, when you're the drill sergeant calling your cadets maggots, like, what are you trying to do?

16:50

You're trying to toughen them up because you know that they're going to go into situations that are scary, right?

16:56

And difficult, and that are going to require a lot of them. And so you're mercilessly teasing them and pushing them to be better than what they are and to not give up, right?

17:05

And like, because what you, you don't want the kind of guy that is going to, you know, be facing the enemy on the other side of the battle and the enemy says something mean to them and they're reduced to tears or something like that, right?

17:20

Yeah, the enemy misgenders you, right? And all of a sudden you're essentially KIA, right?

17:27

You're emotionally KIA. So, but see, but that's what's happened. What's happened is that we've gone to war against bullying and teasing and all this.

17:36

And what you end up getting is you get a bunch of soft men. That's what you get. Because what's happening is you're treating them as if they're women, if that makes sense.

17:45

You're treating them as if they're meant to be like protected and kept safe and sheltered from all the harsh things.

17:53

But then the problem is like the hard things exist and the hard circumstances exist. And you have to prepare men for that.

18:00

And part of the way you prepare them for that is, hey, if you can learn to take an insult, if you can learn to be teased, if you can learn to be mocked a little bit, if you can learn to be messed with, you're not going to take it so seriously when things don't go your way in life, right?

18:14

And when you're put in difficult situations, right? And so just like what you're saying with being, you know, mocked and mercilessly teased during weightlifting or whatever else, like, you know, it's coming from a good place.

18:26

It's like, hey, it's coming from this place that's trying to make you into a better person, to make you tougher, to make you stronger, you know, mentally and physically.

18:34

And that's what it's designed to do. And so then you can just look at the snowflake culture that we've created.

18:39

So as we've gone to war against bullying and teasing, all that you're doing is you're just producing a society of limp -wristed, you know, effeminate men who basically like they cry like babies when they don't get their way and they cry like babies when people say things that are mean to them.

18:58

And they just weren't mocked enough, you know, part of it is they just weren't mocked enough, you know, when they're like in the right kind of ways, you know, like they didn't have like men coming along trying to train that out of them in the way that it should be trained for sure.

19:15

Yeah. Yeah. Now, you know, when we're asking a question like this, should we bring bullying back? Typically what people are going to think of is like the, you know, the big school bully who is, you know, beating people up or, you know, doing the type of like teasing, name calling, insulting kind of stuff we're talking about, but they're doing it from like a place of hatred essentially.

19:43

And so they're going to hear us asking a question, like, should we bring bullying back? And then they're going to immediately think like, oh, they just want to encourage hatred, you know, which obviously like the

19:55

Bible doesn't coincide with. So how does that, you know, how does that, because there certainly are people who are bullying, who are not doing it, you know, from a well -meaning place, right?

20:09

They're doing it out of hate, out of spite, out of anger, you know, out of a lack of self -control, resentment, whatever it might be, you know, so, so are we encouraging that as well?

20:19

Or are we putting a line on this? You know, how does that play into everything? Yeah, but I think bullying used to be a fine word.

20:27

Like, I mean, it used to be a fine word that had a meaning that was able to be understood that,

20:32

I mean, I think when I was growing up, you understood what bullying was when you use the term, like in the, like, meaning like when, when this term was being used growing up for people of my generation, it was largely used in a way that was negative, like meaning,

20:51

I mean, it was, it was used, it's always been used as a negative, but like the things that it was describing were largely negative, if that makes sense.

21:01

What do you mean? Like meaning like, you know, if you're talking about the classic schoolyard bully, you know, the guy who's just with a ego or whatever, who's going around picking on people who are weaker than them, just -

21:14

Give me your lunch money. Give you, yeah, I mean, that kind of thing, that's, there's no like biblical place for that, right?

21:20

Like meaning that that's not, there's nothing good about that. And that's like, we used to understand what we're talking about, but then part of the problem is that now anything and everything is bullying, right?

21:33

So if you don't, as a man, communicate to another man, as if you're a woman communicating to another woman, if it involves any kind of teasing and any kind of mockery whatsoever for good reasons or bad reasons, it doesn't matter, like it's all put in the same category to where now we're just, like, we're using this, this word that used to be like the schoolyard bully word to now describe disagreeing with a person about their pronouns, right?

22:06

Like any kind of, so now at this point, any kind of shame that you try to introduce into a situation, any kind of like, you need to toughen up, um, quit being so wimpy, right?

22:23

Like get strong, you know, mentally, physically, be a better person. Like we're, we, it's all lumped into the same category now to where at this point you don't have a useful word anymore, if it makes sense.

22:37

But yeah, I don't think there's anything godly about, you know, someone with utter contempt, you know, showing utter contempt for other people and just like mercilessly picking on them to the point of they're trying to destroy them, that kind of thing.

22:51

There's no, like, there's no biblical warrant or justification for that. And I mean, when you think about the nature of the problem, it has, like, part of what's happening, what's happened is it has gotten worse in certain ways in that, you know, for my generation growing up, there wasn't the internet.

23:09

We didn't grow up with internet, okay? And so like, you know, if the person got teased at school or whatever, you go to school, you get teased and that's your nightmare scenario.

23:23

Like you go, you know, every single day you're getting teased by the bully or whatever. And I don't think that was a common experience for very many people, but I mean, those kinds of things happened and they,

23:34

I mean, they were relatively rare, but then like the issue is at least when you get home, you could shut it off, right?

23:40

And so then now, like now you're living in a society where you have kids who are going to school or whatever, getting mercilessly teased all day during school, and then they go home and, you know, it continues online as this thing that's happening over and over and over again.

23:56

So in that kind of framework, you know, here's the issue is like, yeah, I think you should, I think those kinds of things are bad, right?

24:04

Those kinds of things are problems. And when you think about bullying, your mind naturally goes to children who are being picked on by people who are, you know, bigger and stronger than them, right?

24:17

Mercilessly picked on, up to physically being picked on. And I think that's all a big problem.

24:23

You know, that's all, that's all a big problem. But then the issue though, is that we're also using that word for grown people, right?

24:33

Grown men are using that word without any sense of shame about the conduct of other men, disagreeing with them in public, right?

24:44

To where, you know, you're just a bully or something. It's just like, we've gotten to the point in society where, you know, words are violence, right?

24:54

And so every time that you say anything that doesn't agree, doesn't affirm with my ideology or the way that I've chosen to live my life, then you are committing a legitimate, you know, in their mind, a legitimate act of violence that is no different than if you had walked up to me face -to -face and punched me.

25:12

Yeah. And I remember Rush Limbaugh, he went on, this was during, you know, all the

25:18

Ferguson stuff and the BLM stuff, the early days of BLM. Rush Limbaugh, when he was alive, he went on the, you know, this show with this, it was some kind of podcast put on by some brothers, you know.

25:35

I was going on and on. He was the only white dude on there, you know, but then he was trying to have like a conversation with them about like this kind of topic, right?

25:46

What you're talking about, like, hey, like in that, you know, he was basically saying, hey, yeah, sometimes people say things that you disagree with, right?

25:55

Like, and that's kind of what he was trying to say. And like, sometimes you just have to get over it, you know, like everyone's not going to agree.

26:02

And, but, you know, but then you had these brothers, right? And they look like big, tough guys, right?

26:09

They look like big, tough guys, but then he's trying to explain to them that people say things you don't like, right?

26:15

So this is like a generational clash that's happening. Sometimes people say things that you don't like, and these guys couldn't understand how you just need to get over it and move on, right?

26:29

So he was like looking at them and they're like, yeah, but this is hateful and this is violence. That's what they're saying to him. Like, this is like, this is, you know, hateful as violence.

26:36

He's like, yeah, but they're not actually, it's just words, man. Like, it's just words. And they're like, no,

26:41

I mean, this is like hateful and harmful and it needs to be stopped. He's like, well, what do you mean it needs to be stopped? Like what needs to happen?

26:46

It's like, well, someone needs to stop it. And it's like, well, what does that look like? What do you mean someone needs to stop it?

26:53

Right. It's like, well, you know, it's like, are you saying like they need, like, you need to hit someone who does that?

27:01

It's like, yes, they need to be. And there was like no ability whatsoever to comprehend the difference between a word that doesn't lie.

27:09

You don't like, and violence is like, so you should assault someone for saying something you don't like. Yes. They, they need to be stopped from saying that.

27:16

It's like, yeah. So, and then it got to where they were literally admitting that you should be able to hit someone who says something you don't like and throw them in jail, get the police to come and throw them in jail.

27:28

For good measure. Because it's like, if they say like a racist remark, you need to be able to hit them and throw them in jail.

27:35

And that's all justified because words are violence. And it's just like, well, we've lost our minds here. What happened to the whole like sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

27:47

But then when that goes, like, so the idea is like that, that's what I grew up under is that kind of logic is sticks.

27:53

And I bet y 'all didn't have very many furries back then. Zero furries during that time.

28:00

They all got bullied out of being furries. But I mean, in that kind of world though, in that kind of world, you, you do have, you do learn that just because someone says something you like, you can't just go assault them, get them thrown in jail, try to destroy their life.

28:20

I mean, you do have to kind of keep certain things in perspective. And what you have right now is you do have a generation of men who have come along and they haven't learned how to take, they haven't learned how to be tough enough to hear things they don't like without, stopping people in traffic and harming them and doing all sorts of crazy stuff.

28:44

So, I mean, like you do, you do need to figure out how to think through some of these things and what were they doing?

28:52

What were their purpose? And was it a good purpose or bad purpose? Or what, I mean, was it just like completely, just utterly ungodly in every instance or what did it, did it serve a useful function in that way?

29:03

TB. Yeah. And it does seem like, I mean, obviously there's a form of bullying that is just totally unhelpful and it's not

29:10

Christ -like in any way, right? And it's what you were just talking about a few minutes ago about something born purely out of hatred or resentment, a desire merely just to tear people down out of pride so that you can feel like you are better than those people.

29:32

Obviously, all of that's wrong, but then we've gone so far past that to the point that anytime anyone says anything mean in any context, no matter what it is, especially as it relates to the certain hot topics of today, you just can't even disagree amicably about these things.

29:53

You can't disagree and you can't say anything that would communicate that someone is not perfectly right in everything that they think or feel.

30:02

Right, right. Yeah. Go ahead, you go. JG Well, yeah,

30:08

I mean, I just think you can read through Jesus' words in the Gospels and you can see him doing this kind of thing.

30:15

I mean, constantly he's like, hey, you have a little faith, right? Well, what do you think he's doing there?

30:20

I mean, that's a little bit of a tease, right? JG A little bit, just the

30:28

God of the universe telling you that you have little faith. Yeah, just a little tease there, yeah. JG Could you not have waited with me for an hour, you know, that kind of stuff.

30:37

And so, I mean, Jesus, there's a lot of things that can be interpreted from his words as just kind of like mild forms of teasing in that way, and I don't think you have to just go to war against the concept.

30:51

And what you do need is you do need men again. Like, we need to figure out how to get men and we used to know how to do it, but then now we've created a certain standard of communication that all these words and concepts in the

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Bible are now being read through the filter of how a woman might apply it with her sensibilities instead of being read accurately as if straight up like what they actually intend.

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But then I mean, you can look at different periods in church history, and I mean, think about some of the debates even that happened during the

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Reformation where Martin Luther, just go look up Martin Luther and some of the stuff he said to his opponents and everything else.

31:40

You know, your exegesis is monkey -like and that kind of stuff. But I mean, it's,

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I think there's a lot in the Bible where the idea of like, there's a lot of insults in the

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Bible, there's a lot of pejoratives in the Bible, there's a lot of good -natured teasing in the Bible, there's a lot of sarcasm in the

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Bible that people don't realize about. And so, there's a lot of different ways to communicate.

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I mean, I think the standard should be, this should be done for edification for sure. And you can bully in a way, you can tease in a way that's, there is no redemptive purpose, it's just for destruction.

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And I think, yeah, that largely, that can go the way of the dodo bird. And I think, you know, most men probably need to dial it way back when they're dealing with their wives and with their kids and everything else.

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But at the same time, there has to be some mechanism that men use to help encourage each other to develop these mental virtues like strength and fortitude and physical virtues of strength and fortitude.

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And a lot of that has always been through men picking at each other. I mean, and it's just one of those things where it has so many different functions.

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It helps toughen men up, it helps identify men they can trust. Meaning like, you know, if you tease a guy and he just like turns into a real big crybaby about it, it's like, oh, you're that kind of guy, right?

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I don't know if I could trust you. You don't know how to take an insult very well, right?

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Like, oh, you're that type. And part of what is happening there is it's like, there's more to what's going on than you realize.

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Like, what's actually happening is you realize that, man, he's not very tough. He's not tough mentally, he's not tough physically, and he's showing it.

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And you don't wanna give, you don't wanna, as Jesus says, he didn't trust himself to those people because he knew what was in them, right?

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But I mean, that does serve that kind of function for men. Like, if you tease a guy and he smiles and he teases you back a little bit, you're like, oh,

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I like that guy, right? I could trust him because I'm not gonna be dealing with someone who's just hyper -emotional, right?

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And just gonna get offended every time something happens that doesn't go his way. Like, I don't want that, right?

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Yeah, and I guess it sounds a little counterintuitive, but for me personally, some of the times that I've felt the most loved is when

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I've had guys just totally tear me apart with their insults and stuff.

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Like, when you have a group of guys who you know care about you, but then they're jabbing at you and they're making fun of you and whatnot, at least for me personally, there is a little bit of like, this guy really cares, you know?

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But then on top of that too, assuming the guy is also good at knowing, it's not just always insults all the time and there are actually moments of true, just normal encouragement in the form of like, you know, good job, like, hey, you did good, you know?

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Those people I typically tend to trust when they say that, that they actually mean it a lot more because I know they don't do that all the time, right?

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And I've heard all of the like, hey, yeah, you know, yeah, you're right. Don't even try to lift that weight.

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You definitely can't do it. You're not strong enough. Like, don't even try. Don't embarrass yourself, you know? Like, you've heard that and then later on down the line, you hear the same person say, hey, good job.

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You did good there. You know, it's like, I can trust that. But that's what the Bible says. Yeah.

35:39

Faithful are the wounds of a friend and profuse are the kisses of an enemy. And I mean, that's true.

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And a lot of the way that, so men can err on the side of teasing like way too much, but then women can err on the opposite end of things by being way too encouraging to the point where it's just all like, you don't believe any of it, right?

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Like, you look amazing and wonderful today. It's like, well, you tell me that every time, you know, how does this outfit look?

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Oh, you look wonderful. You look great. You look so pretty. And it's like, well, I don't know that you're ever going to say anything different.

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So I don't trust anything that you're saying, you know? So the errors are on both sides, but then

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I do think that there is a place for guys performing the function of a guy for you, right?

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To help you toughen up, to be stronger, to face danger, to mentally toughen up.

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And in a lot of the teasing kind of stuff, a lot of that's what it's designed to do.

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And that's why men naturally gravitate towards it. And that's why they naturally appreciate it. I mean, there's obviously distortions of it and it can go wrong really quick, but there's something there that's happening that you should try to understand, like, what is it doing and why is it there?

36:54

And I mean, I think now that we've eradicated bullying, you can just look around the world and you say, Hey, it seems like we've lost something that was important.

37:03

We're not making them like we used to be. So, I mean, it seems like in our effort to fix the bullying problem, we've created a bunch of wimpy crybaby men.

37:12

And like, that's obvious. So, we'll see how that works when

37:18

World War III starts. You know, just as a side note, my wife was telling me that for the last few years, the

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Army has been putting out all of these terrible commercials about, you know, like, Oh, I'm a woman soldier.

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And the reason I serve is because of my two gay lesbian moms or whatever, all these terrible

37:40

LGBTQ commercials and whatnot. And recently, they put out a new one and it's just a bunch of white dudes flying in an airplane or something with their buzzed heads.

37:53

And they're looking really somber, like they're about to go into battle or something. And so, everyone who's seen these commercials on TikTok and on social media, they're like,

38:04

Oh, we're actually going to war now. Tanner Iskra It's one of those funny things where you make all the diversity military ads, right?

38:16

It's racially diverse. It's, you know, diverse in terms of sexual orientation, you know, quote unquote, it's gender diverse and all that.

38:24

And then, but then when things start to get real, it's like all the white boys, like all the rednecks, we need the rednecks to come save us, you know, just make the ad.

38:35

Darrell Bock All right. All right. Enough of that pandering. We need to get real stuff done now. All right.

38:42

Well, I think that's a good place for us to wrap up the conversation on, you know, and like we said, this is a thing that it has its uses, you know, there is an actual functional use to shame in a society that is good.

38:57

Shame is not always a bad thing. And I feel like we've kind of forgotten that. We've kind of lost our way on that and gone much too far into the trying to, you know, trying to stop the one form of bullying that, you know, we're saying is not biblical.

39:12

It's not Christ -like. We've gone so far that way that we have now completely lost any ability to, you know, be offensive in any way, in any kind of helpful way, because there is a way to be, you know, helpful, helpfully offensive, right, towards your brothers.

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And so, that is something that, you know, we as men should probably think through and, you know, think through on both sides.

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Like, hey, am I the kind of person who takes this way too far? Or am I the kind of person who just gets incredibly offended anytime anyone says anything about me, whether I know them or not, right?

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And do I have thick enough skin? And am I tough enough? You know, am I taking, you know, fully taking on the role that God intended for me as a man?

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And so, those are helpful things for us to think through as men. So, with all that being said, we thank you for all your support.

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Now, go boldly and obey the truth in the midst of a biblically illiterate world who will be perpetually offended by your every move.