June 20, 2016 Show with Dr. Tedd Tripp on “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”

Live from the historic parsonage of 19th century gospel minister George Norcross in downtown Carlisle, Pennsylvania it's iron sharpens iron a radio platform on which pastors Christian scholars and theologians Address the burning issues facing the church and the world today.

Proverbs 27 verse 17 tells us iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another. Matthew Henry said that in this passage quote we are cautioned to take heed whom we converse with and Directed to have in view in conversation to make one another wiser and better.

It is our hope that this goal will be accomplished over the next hour. And we hope to hear from you the listener with your own questions. Now here's our host Chris.

Good afternoon, Cumberland County, Pennsylvania and the rest of humanity living on the planet Earth. Who are listening via live streaming? This is Chris Arns and your host of iron sharpens iron wishing you all a happy Monday on this 20th day of June 2016 and I'm delighted to have someone back as a guest Who has not yet been on the new iron sharpens iron.

He was a guest several times on my old broadcast, which was emanating from Long Island, New York and I'm so thrilled to have him for the very first time on the news show here in Carlisle, Pennsylvania.

His name is dr. Ted trip he's an author conference speaker an elder at Grace Fellowship Church in Hazleton, Pennsylvania and He is the author of the book that we are going to be discussing today shepherding a child's heart.

And he also with his wife Margie wrote instructing a child's heart After the first was published and was such an enormous success. I I know that Not only was the book enormous success regarding its sales, but churches began Inviting Ted to speak and do a full-blown Weekend conference on the subject and the was fascinating to see Although dr. Ted trip is a Thoroughgoing Calvinist and Reformed Baptist.

The church is inviting him to speak. We're really spanning the denominational lines and It's just a thrill to have him on the program and welcome back to iron sharpens iron. Dr. Ted trip.

And.

Let me introduce you to my guest or should I say my co-host?

Reverend buzz Taylor. Yeah, I feel like I'm part of the furniture now. Anyway, I'm no longer a guest. Good to meet you.

And.

The Genesis of *Shepherding a Child's Heart*

Dr. Trip. Tell us something about the genesis of the book shepherding a child's heart. What was the reason that first. Was it was basically the catalyst that made you say I've got to put this down in a book form.

This is nowhere to be found in its completed form and other books that are in print. I've got I've got to get this done. What was really the genesis of this.

Well, if you if you listen very carefully you can hear the sound of.

The presidents of book publishers and their boards.

Weeping uncontrollably. Well, not to mention all the other authors that are looking for publishers. It just doesn't seem fair.

So the shepherding a child's heart book Actually was the the vehicle that the Lord used to actually launch Shepherd Press. That's correct.

Right.

Great let me announce our email address if anybody listening has a question about parenting. For dr. Ted trip our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com. Chris Arnzen at gmail .com. Please give us your first name your city and state and your country of residence if you live outside the USA.

And I understand with subject matter like this There may be Questions that are very sensitive personal private and you would prefer to remain anonymous. I completely understand that so you may remain anonymous if it makes you feel more comfortable.

And if the question calls for that, in fact, we would insist that you remain anonymous if you're going to be identifying certain situations where we would not want to Unnecessarily reveal the identity of feet of people and so on.

So you are welcome to do that. And I was born in 1962 Ted and my older siblings they definitely got the stricter upbringing and there was a lot more corporal punishment involved in the washing out of mouths with soap and Belt straps to the backside.

Then my mother discovered dr. Spock and My upbringing was a much more pampered and spoiled one. I can't even think of One time that my mother ever hit me in any way my father. I can just remember one time that he hit me but Tell us what it is in.

Child Psychology Versus Biblical Parenting

The.

Secular realm of child psychology and all that. Where are what are the most prominent and popular? Things being taught to parents that you think depart from not only with the Bible teaches But with that practically works and raising a child to be obedient and so on.

Well, I mean another problem or there. But yeah, definitely too. It's not my job as a parent to try to answer it. I'm not really.

We do have a listener in Mastic Beach, Long Island Tyler who asks Do you think that Proverbs 22 6? applies not only to parents but also to those who have an influential and substantial role in a child's life Such as youth ministry.

And in fact Perhaps before you even answer Tyler's question. There is disagreement over what Proverbs 22 6 actually means some. Some exegetes believe that this is a positive Admonition that if you raise your child rightly That they will most likely Become godly children.

And then you have some Who are teaching that if you raise them according to their? personalities or their Their leanings even with sinful proclivities and so on they're going to wind up just manifesting those things to a Greater extent when they get older,.

But if you could explain what you think Proverbs 22 6 which for those of our listeners who aren't familiar with it. It's train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

That is the at least the New American Standard rendering of that.

Text. And if you could exegete that for us, dr. Trip. Sure. I've talked to realize that underneath my humility. I've been pretty idea. It's not what you know. That passage is part of a whole genre because if I get it right torn down we would have to say no.

They're proud men who live and die. Yeah, and.

Our listener asked do you think this is only guidance for parents or for those couldn't include? Those who are very instrumental in a child's life, especially like a youth minister or something. By the way, just let me just let Tyler know.

Tyler good news. You've won a free copy of shepherding a child's heart and I hope it comes into great use with your Work as a youth minister. So but the thing is we need your full mailing address Tyler.

So get that to us so we could have a book shipped out to you a SAP and we want to thank the folks at Shepherd Press for providing those free books, and we also want to thank Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service for shipping them out to our winners.

But anyway, I'm sorry. Go ahead. Well, yeah, you you cover the text as far as it relates to wisdom literature. But do you also see the possibility that it could be a warning as well as a promise that if we do not take into account the natural bent of a child He will not depart from that.

Yeah, yeah.

I.

Think parents quite often have very mixed emotions when it comes to their own children. Having raised six myself but. You know, you get that new bouncing, baby. And oh, they are just so sweet and innocent and later on you learn what a hellion they are.

You realize. Yeah, they they. I think that we have to realize first that diapers and vipers and diapers.

I.

Think it's difficult for us. We don't want to accept the fact that what the scripture says about children is true that They are fallen there. They're born Depraved and they need they need salvation. They need to be raised in the things of Lord because of the fact that they're sinners and They have a natural bent and yes when the Bible says Folly is bound up in the heart of a child.

It's not kidding.

That's right, you know, it's very interesting ability. And before this yeah in peace. Yes anchor and they're nodding and we do have another listener.

We have Seth in Randlesman, North Carolina and Seth has a question. Good. Hold on. So just clicked off of it by mistake here. Seth's question is. My question is concerning family devotions. My children's ages are five and two.

We want to include devotionals with them and our Leaning and and are leaning toward doing a Puritan collection. Do you have any recommendations? Oh.

There's I'm not familiar with the Puritan series that you're talking about. The catechism is going to be of value to them. And by the way Seth of.

Randleman, North Carolina. You are going to also receive a free copy of shepherding a child's heart and we thank you for writing in a question today and We're going to be going to a break right now. If you'd like to join us on the air as well with a question of your own for dr Ted Tripp on parenting our email address is chris arnzen at gmail .com.

At chris a r n z e n at gmail .com. Don't go away. We'll be right back with dr. Ted Tripp and shepherding a child's heart. Iron sharpens iron radio is sponsored by Harvey Cedars. A year-round Bible conference and retreat center nestled on the Jersey Shore Harvey Cedars offers a wide range of accommodations to suit groups up to 400.

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Sibling Conflict, Public Discipline, and Proverbs on the Rod

Welcome back, and we do have a listener in Lancaster, Pennsylvania Alec who has a question for our guest. Dr. Ted trip. If you just tuned us in dr. Ted trip is our guest today for the full two hours and he is discussing his book shepherding a child's heart and Alec from Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Says.

Do you have any tips on how to deal with conflict between siblings? When you are not there to see the incident and they both are pointing the fingers at one another and.

And Alec from Lancaster has a follow-up question.

He asks and this is really I don't think it is is Exclusively for the age that he mentions, but he says do you think it's ever appropriate? To spank my 18 year old son in public. Obviously on this day and age you could use any number for that age.

But actually reminds me of when you were speaking at a conference a shepherding a child's heart conference in Bayside Queens, New York, and I during the question-answer session. I stood up and I said is it okay for me?

To ever smack my nephew in the side of the head. He was setting fire to my mother's drapes recently and I smacked him in the side of the head and you said To me how old is he and I said 37? I was just kidding.

But Alec from Lancaster wants to know if he should ever spank his 18 year old in public and I'll ask any age should you spank in public. Well Alec you are also getting a free copy of shepherding a child's heart.

Just never hit your 18 year old with it, especially.

Especially in public. Unfortunately, I have heard a number of those horror stories. A lot of times even Pastors want to prove to their congregations that they're in charge of their family. So they will discipline their children in front of the congregation and things.

And you know in those situations I just you do not blame the children when they get to 18. For the rebellion that usually comes from that kind of behavior.

Us meaning Christians.

Well, obviously we can't have a discussion about this without Proverbs 13 24 coming up.

And we've all heard the often repeated version that even those who aren't Biblically literate or even Christians know spare the rod and spare the rod and spoil the charge. I can't even speak today spare the rod and spoil the child.

And then you have Versions like the New American Standard which says he who withholds his rod hates his son. What exactly is being taught here in our Bibles that we believe are inerrant. Regarding a rod and regarding the discipline of children.

Well, do you believe that it is appropriate to use any kind of an instrument like a rod. I mean I know many Christian parents including homeschool parents perhaps especially. Who believe in you know having a stick or a paddle that you don't?

Bring about Serious bruises on the child, but they believe in using that instrument to swap the kids rear end.

Even there I think physical punishment. When people talk about disciplining the children I Tried as much as possible. I'm sure I wasn't always perfected as myself. I you know a human but in disciplining my children.

They didn't get spanked unless it was something pretty bad like, you know a deliberate rebellion. Not for like spilling milk or forgetting to you know, make their bed or something like that, you know.

Our first approach to that is not going to be disciplined because he's not being defiant. He wants language of the heart. It's a toy back. There's no need for discipline of defiance where they are.

We have J and fountain in South Carolina.

Oh you do.

Okay, well Jay says asked head about the importance of Speaking to your young kids with clear biblical truth. Rather than using baby talk or watered-down talk or your. Are our young children capable of understanding More than we think they are.

I think also producing the hard stuff is I'm really letting him know not just that you touch for what's going on inside.

Now it's points. Well taken now. I have seen parents When they are obviously trying to be humorous and playful. Playful with their children or their grandchildren. Speak with gibberish or baby talk. Not not when they're instructing them about anything.

But that when they're just having fun with them and the kids seem to giggle and even Seem to have some kind of awareness that this is gibberish because they'll even mimic the gibberish and stuff. I mean, do you think there's anything wrong with that?

Even if it's not when they're teaching the kid, but it's just and I think that well, I think that most televangelists talk down to adults.

I.

Just have trouble thinking that you know peekaboo is gonna be fun for a kid, you know.

Right, but yeah, I mean Joel Osteen could learn a lesson from your book about not talking baby talk to to grown adults, but We do. I think this is a female and I'm finally glad that we have a a female listener writing in.

I was expecting more women to write in today about your book. But we it's a female with an alias a lamb lamb. It's either an alias or a she has parents with a sense of humor and a stutter. One of the other lamb lamb in Valley Stream, New York Asks as Christian parents one would want to protect the children Say in their early teens from bad influences and develop worldly habits.

Nor hobbits like music movies, etc. Which are not beneficial to neither an academic nor spiritual. I guess she's making a play on words with the hobbit and she thinks that that is a a dangerous thing in some way for kids.

From with the peers. Yet also want to train them for reaching out and sharing the gospel with any children. Even the newcomers to the church group. So if dr. Tripp could share some insight tips on how to balance the two ends With practical suggestions, maybe I'll read that a whole thing again.

As Christian parents one would want to protect the children from bad influences and develop worldly habits. Which are not beneficial to either academic or spiritual. From with the peers. Yet also want to train them for reaching out and sharing the gospel with any children even the newcomers to the church.

So that's the best as I try to edit it a little bit. But do you understand where a guest or a listener should say is coming from? Yeah, that seems to be the model of classical Christian education where they use secular literature.

And Greek mythology and all kinds of things so that the children are aware of Culture outside of the Christian faith and yet at the same time. They clearly teach them a True biblical theology and and they teach what is fact from fantasy and all that kind of sure.

Now, I'm not sure a hundred percent sure that lamb lamb was Making an intentional dig on the hobbit. But J. R. Tolkien is a world-renowned author who Has lived in his writing beyond his life on earth and is very popular today.

A good friend. J. R. Tolkien was a good friend of C. S. Lewis, although he was a Roman Catholic and Lewis was a evangelical Anglican Art. Would you recommend the hobbit and all of the associated? Fantasy literature that J. R. Tolkien has written.

We're going to another break right now if you'd like to join us on the air. Oh, by the way, lamb lamb, you are getting a free copy of the book shepherding a child's heart as well, so Give us another email with your full mailing address and we will have that shipped out to you as soon as possible.

Compliments of Not only Shepherd Press who's providing the free books and I think we have one or two left but Also compliments as far as the shipping goes to our friends or of our friends at Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service CV bbs .com who ship out all of our Books that we give away an iron tripons iron to our listeners at no charge to us and we thank CVBBS .com very much for Their faithfulness and their generosity and working with iron sharpens iron but we are going to a break right now.

Don't go away because we've got another whole hour with dr Ted trip and Shepherding a child's heart. We look forward to hearing from you and your questions if you want to join us on the air as well with your own questions.

Our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com. Chris Arnzen at gmail .com. Don't go away. We'll be right back with dr. Ted trip. Hi, I'm Chris Arnzen host of iron sharpens iron radio here to tell you about an exciting offer from world magazine My trusted source for news from a Christian perspective.

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Long Island galleries is honored to sponsor iron sharpens iron radio. See the Long Island galleries display ad at iron sharpens iron radio calm. Welcome back. This is Chris Arnzen and we are now at the top of the second hour of today's program.

We have for the full two hours. Dr. Ted trip on the air today to discuss shepherding a child's heart his Masterpiece that came out in the 90s and has sold over a million copies and is now also available in audio form and DVD and it's translated in many languages.

It's just a phenomenon that has become so for a very good reason. It's very biblical. It's very well written and it has changed the lives of many parents around the world. And if you'd like their website for Shepherd Press the publishers of this book go to Shepherd Press calm that's Shepherd Press calm and as always.

If they happen to be out of stock, you could always go to CV BBS calm Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service one of these sponsors of iron sharpens iron CV BBS, which stands for Cumberland Valley Bible Book Service and I'm sorry.

Were you going to say something there at Ted? No, okay, so I thought that you were beginning to say something. We do have Christopher from Suffolk County, Long Island, New York. Who asks. I understand that Baptists and Presbyterians?

Typically, although not always have different approaches when evangelizing Children the Baptists tend to view children as a mission field and very often all Vaughn and although not always Presbyterians do not because they have a different view of their membership in the Covenant since you and your brother disagree on Baptist versus Presbyterian views.

Do you disagree on that issue? He's speaking of Paul obviously is a Presbyterian.

Covenant Children and Evangelizing the Young

Gospel every day of their lives. The Gospels day they're in the place. Well, thank you for that distinction.

I will say as a Presbyterian you are correct there and Thank you for taking on one of our biggest battles because that's something that people just have trouble accepting that we do not believe baptism equals salvation.

And.

Well, there are different strains of Presbyterians though because I can even remember working part-time for a publisher when Some Presbyterians would get angry when a book was clearly coming from the perspective that children were a mission field, but the the I know that there are many Pato Baptists that agree 100 as you said, dr. Tripp on that issue with Baptists such as dr Joel Beakey Definitely believes that the children of Christians need to be evangelized and should be presumed lost.

Unless they they prove otherwise and Don Kistler is another Presbyterian who would view things that way much in the same way as the Puritans did and.

So.

But by the by the way, there are Baptists one of the reasons why even our Southern Baptist friends and brethren Like Tom Askell and some other guys from the founders movement They will be the first to admit that there's rampant Nominalism in the Southern Baptist Convention.

And you have many Baptists and credo Baptist believer only baptism folk in the Bible Belt Who presume that their children are saved just because they were raised in a Baptist home.

Right.

And they have their kids baptized Automatically when they reach the age of 12 or something because it's this thing to do.

Mm-hmm. Yes, and I even know.

Armenian churches and Pentecostal churches that have had you speak and conduct conferences.

Amen.

Amen. Well, you know when you wrote shepherding a child's heart I was still a fairly young Christian at the time and We I'm sure both of us at that time in the 90s never Would have dreamed that in our lifetime you would have Rational sane Intelligent adults.

Publicly saying that children should have the right to change their their gender orientation and get medication and even surgery. To change what gender they were born with. Of course, we know that that can never happen.

Literally or really but we are we are we are seeing people that are not saying this from the padded cells of asylums or through the bars of prisons. We are hearing this from.

Average.

Moms and dads. And we are hearing this from child psychologists and we are hearing this from people from many streams of life. And it's just jaw-droppingly shocking and disgusting and frightening.

Well, I think that parents that are.

Participating in their children getting medicated and.

Even.

Surgery, I think that they should be in prison. This is child abuse. I mean, I don't know. What do you think about that?

I think it's child abuse. Well, I really right. Well, yeah that that brings me to a.

Very obvious question. I think that would be a segue from that. You know, you have people who are convinced That people are born homosexual or lesbian because they know of people In their neighborhoods growing up or whatever the case may be that they can remember that child as young as You can walk and talk if it was a boy.

They can remember that child being extremely girly and effeminate and that person sure enough grew up to be Grew up to act upon their homosexual proclivities. And then you have the girls who were very manly and Butch and so on.

Now, obviously There are people that mistake Soft-spokenness in a man for being effeminate when you know you have You can have a very godly and masculine man who's soft-spoken. I mean, I understand that Jonathan Edwards was soft-spoken But that doesn't mean he's effeminate.

And you have women who are very athletic and women who have talents in areas that are usually found Only in men. People women who are very good at carpentry and things like that. Now, where do you draw the line?

When you're raising children and people start to criticize them or even you may Start to get nervous because they are acting in a way that is not typical for the gender that they are.

And that doesn't. Well, you even have within some of the Mediterranean cultures Italians who may be.

Very tough men in many respects, but they are kissing and hugging their sons and they're even their male friends and their brothers and You know that there is never even a thought that that's somehow effeminate it's it's just a part of the very expressive and gregarious and I don't know what else what other syllable synonym to use but That that type of a culture where it's it's not like The the Scots are you know, very reserved and standoffish and I I know brothers and cry.

In fact, I think when I first the very first time I met Peter Jeffrey I From Wales, I'm sure you must know Peter. Yes one of the very first time I met him I gave I approached him with a big hug and he seemed like he was terrified of that.

But you know what I'm saying that there are those differences that don't that don't Make someone effeminate and there are even like I was saying before Would you discourage your daughter? From not only Pursuing athletic.

Pursuing and use the use of her athletic skills. But even carpentry and things like that that seem to be more in the line with what boys do and men do. Well, you know one of the areas that our fundamentalist brethren would would ridicule us for ignoring and.

And sometimes you might think that they have a point when the Bible clearly condemns cross dressing you have a unisex Style of dressing that is very popular with young people more and more. So where you you look at a kid and sometimes you don't even know what gender they belong to and it's probably more prevalent.

With women wearing clothing that would be more appropriate or typically Utilized or worn by a man and there's there's nobody bats an eye anymore. Especially when a woman dresses very much like a man or a girl dresses very much like a boy.

How do you address that? We have to go to our final break right now and if you'd like to join us on the air. There is still a half hour left for you to join us with a question of your own for dr. Ted trip on shepherding a child's heart.

Our email address is Chris Arnzen at gmail .com. That's CH RIS a RN Z n at gmail .com. Please give us your first name your city and state and your country of residence if you live outside the USA and you may remain anonymous if it's about a personal and private matter that you Don't want to reveal your identity when addressing so Feel free to do that and we will honor your request.

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