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Bro. Bill Nichols
Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting of hair and of the wearing of gold or the putting on of the herald, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
For after this manner, in the old times, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorn themselves, being in subjugation to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are, as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement.
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered.
Verse eight, finally, be all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous, not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but contrary wise, blessing, knowing that ye are there unto called that you should inherit a blessing.
For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile. Let him eschew evil and do good. Let him seek peace and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous and his ears are open unto their prayers.
But the face of the Lord is against them that do evil. And who is it, who is he that will harm you if ye be followers of that which is good? But if, but and if you suffer for righteous sake, happy are ye and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled, but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and be ready always to give answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.
Let us pray. Most gracious heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us once again to come into your house, where we may bless you and worship you and meet face to face with one another. Thank you for giving us the Holy Spirit to lead us through our studies.
Thank you for giving the scriptures that we study. And most of all, thank you for giving us your son. As we move into this festive season where we celebrate the birth of your son, we want to thank you over and over again for allowing your son to come into the world to take the role of a man to suffer and die.
So that we can come into him blessed and saved. In Jesus name we pray, amen. So this chapter fits remarkably in our own time. In it, Peter answers the question, how does the believer live in a hostile pagan world?
That's where we find ourselves right now, in a hostile pagan world. And Peter is gonna answer the question, how do we live in this hostile pagan world? Now, the first thing he does, he looks at the very first spiritual support system that God had provided for man.
Anybody know what that is? The very first spiritual support system that God provided for man. Okay, you said a wife, I'll accept that. I was gonna say marriage, marriage. And of course that works both ways.
It's the wife supporting the man, and the man supporting the wife. The first of this talks about the wife's duty. Likewise, you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they also may without a word, be won by the conversation of their wives.
That doesn't say what we kind of think it says, when we read it in American English understanding today. The husband is not gonna be won by what the wife talks to him about. That's not what this is about.
And in fact, Peter is talking here of a special group of wives and a special group of husbands. He is speaking in this verse of believing wives married to unbelieving husbands. He will speak of believing husbands married to unbelieving wives later.
Now, in chapter two, Peter taught that living successfully as a Christian in a hostile pagan world required relating properly in two places. In civil society, that is with your relationship with the government, the mayor and the city council and the sheriff and the governor and the president and the Congress dealing successfully in civil society.
Also in chapter two, he talked about living successfully in the workplace. Now, at the start of this chapter, at the start of chapter three, Peter adds two more places that you gotta deal with. Living successfully in the family.
And that's verses one through seven. And in the local church. And that's verses eight and nine. So here we go. Likewise, you wives be subject to the law and be in subjugation to your own husbands. And if any obey not the word, they may also without the word be won by the conversation of their wives.
Now I highlighted one, two, three, four, five phrases in that verse. And I could have highlighted it all, but if I did, I wouldn't have anything left to highlight. So I'm gonna look at the things one by one that I highlighted.
First, I'm going to look at if any obey not the word. This is Peter talking to wives about their husbands and the husbands, if they obey not the word. So what kind of husband-wife relationship is he talking about now?
A believing wife and an unbelieving husband. Now, so what does he say to those wives that have unbelieving husbands? You're not gonna like this, ladies. It says, be in subjugation. Peter insists that Christians are, if they're going to be a witness for their Lord, must submit not only to civil order, but also to the social order which God has designed, their own husbands.
Now, you also noticed, you didn't notice because you can't see, only I can notice that highlighted is your own husbands. That doesn't say that any of you ladies out there need to be subject to me or to, yes, I can say this, or to David Mitchell.
But yes, to David Huber, and yes, to Matt Mitchell and Ben Mitchell, yes. But this actually doesn't pertain to any of you, does it? This does not pertain to any of you, why? It's not a believing wife with a unbelieving husband.
It's a believing wife and a believing husband. That's a good thing. I think that's right, isn't it? Yeah, I know it's right. I don't even have to ask you. But even if you were unevenly yoked, Peter says you got to submit to your own husband.
Now, that doesn't mean that you're inferior in any way to the men, ladies. You're not inferior to your husband in any way. In fact, I think we would all agree that you are superior in way more ways than you're inferior.
I can only think of two ways that most of you are inferior to your husband. And I did say most of you, because I'm not sure about David and Katie, about this one. You're inferior in strength, and maybe, but we'll get to that later.
But you're not inferior in any way to men. Any more than a submissive Christian is inferior to those civil rulers that you're asked to submit to. You're asked to submit to the laws and requirements of the mayor of Fort Scana, if you live here.
But if you live in Mahea, it's Mahea's mayor you have to submit to. If you're me, it's only the mayor of Angus that you have to submit to, well, and people above them. But that doesn't mean that you're inferior to any of them.
And it doesn't mean that the wife is inferior to the husband. That's all I was trying to say. I guess I spent too much time. But wives have been given a role that puts them in submission to the headship that resides in their husband.
The husband has been given the position of being the head of the household. And if in the final analysis, the wife is not willing to submit to the husband, then you've got possibilities for trouble. Now, Paul reinforces that idea, that thought, and he adds one more.
And I think, ladies, you'll like what he adds. Ephesians 5, verse 22. Go ahead and go there. And I'll read that one after you find it. Ephesians 5, verse 22. And we'll go through, I believe, 25. So he starts out the same way.
Wives, submit yourself to your own husbands, not to anyone else's husband, not to just any other man, but to your own husbands, as unto the Lord. Well, the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church.
And he, Christ, is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands in everything. Now, here's the rest of the verse. Not the rest of the verse.
The extra verse, the one that Peter didn't say as explicitly. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it. Now, I'm gonna get more to that in just a minute, but I wanna say something first.
The commandment does not require women to be subordinate to men in general. We've already dealt with that. But to their husbands as a function of maintaining order within the home. A wife is to accept her place in the family under the leadership of her husband, whom God has placed as head in the home.
Wives are to be submissive, even if their husbands are unbelievers. So, those men might be saved by the behavior of their wives. That's what Peter was speaking of when he wrote in verse one. Won by the conversation of their wives.
Not won by what the wife say to the husband, but won by the lifestyle, the conduct of the wife. And there is in this passage, another commandment. And this one is for the husband. And as difficult as the first one is for the ladies to meet, this commandment is even more difficult for you guys to meet.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church. Now, he didn't just say, love your wife. If he had said that, I suspect that every one of you could answer that. Yes, I do. I always do.
I love my wife. Every one of you would say that, I know. But he didn't say that. What did he say? The same way that Christ loved the church. Now, think about that for a moment. And you fell in love with your wife and you looked at her in her face when you proposed to her.
And you said, oh, you are beautiful, my dear. Would you marry me? And she said, because she lost sight of reason for just a second, yes. And she agreed to marry you. And six months later, she gets in a car accident and the face that you love is gone.
And you look her in the face and it's a whole different face. And you look at her and you say, my dear, I still love you. It doesn't matter how they look. It doesn't matter what they do. It doesn't matter how they behave.
You love them because you love them. That's how God loves you. Jesus loves us regardless of the fact that when he looks at us, he sees a pretty pitiful sight. But he doesn't love us because he looked at us and said, what a wonderful, Bill is the very one I want to pick out of the whole world to love.
He didn't say that. He says, I'm gonna love that guy no matter what he is. Even if he is, I mean, I know he's gonna mess up. He messed up yesterday. He's gonna mess up tomorrow. He'll mess up the next day.
He always is a total mess up. But I love him anyhow. And because I love him, I'm gonna save him. That's how you got to love your wife. That's what he's saying, husbands. Love your wives like God, like Jesus loved the church.
That's a tall order. If you think the wife's job is hard, yours is even more hard. Now, a little qualifier. This also was from Paul and is 1 Corinthians 7, 13. And it does put a little qualifier on you, ladies, that Christ didn't put on himself.
You'll see what I mean in just a second. And if the woman, which has a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. So you're in a mixed marriage and your husband doesn't believe, but he's pleased with you.
He said, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband, else were your children unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.
A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? Or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
Now, Peter did not tell the Christian wife to leave her husband. In fact, he said, let her not leave him. He didn't tell the Christian wife to preach to her husband. In fact, he said, without a word. He didn't tell the wife to demand her rights.
In fact, what he said was, be submissive. And then we come to the word or phrase, won by the conversation of the wives. That means won by the conduct of their wives. A loving, gracious, submissive wife is the strongest evangelical tool a woman has to offer her husband.
If a woman is going to draw her husband to Christ, the best thing they can do is live a loving, gracious, submissive wife, even to an unsaved husband. I'm gonna read the last part of that again, and then go on to verse two, and we'll maybe get through with this.
Won by the conversation of the wives, while they behold your chast conversation coupled with fear. Now, that coupled with fear part, that fear is not fear of the husband. That's fear of God. The word fear actually is better translated reverence.
And so what that's saying is purity of life with reverence for God is what the unsaved husband needs to observe consistently in their saved wives. And if they do, they may in fact be saved, but they may not, because that's not in your hands, wives.
That's in the hands of the Lord. He determines who ultimately is saved and who is not. But you do have a role to perform. You have a role to display yourself as a pure, submissive wife. And that's what your husband needs to see always.
And to be frank, there are few experiences in life more difficult than to be united in marriage with an unbeliever. And that works both ways. Unbelieving man, believing wife, believing man, unbelieving wife, that's a source of problems, but it's not a source of problems that the Lord cannot overcome.
So let's go on to verse three. Whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plating of hair and of the wearing of gold and or of putting on of apparel. Now, Peter was not condemning all outward ornament.
What he's condemning is the preoccupation with outward appearance to the disregard of character. Instead of being overly concerned with appearance, every Christian woman should concentrate on developing a chaste and reverent Christ-like character.
Verse four, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. Here is a beauty that never decays as the outward body does.
As you grow older, ladies, you're gonna find that your appearance will begin to deteriorate and men, yours will too. Won't be too long, Brother David, that you'll look like me. And what a thought, a beauty that never decays.
Gentle, it actually means meek and humble or quiet. Words that describe the character of her action and reaction to and with her husband. And in fact, to life in general. And such beauty is precious, not only to her husband, but to God.
Verse five, for after this manner in the old times, the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being even in subjugation to their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement.
Now, there are potential fears for a Christian woman who sets out to be submissive to an unsaved husband as to where that submission might lead. And I know I'm not speaking to any of you, but there may be somebody listening on the broadcast that needs to hear this.
There are potential fears and potential dangers as to what happens when a Christian woman is submissive to an unsaved husband. But Peter's instruction to the wife is to be not intimidated or fearful, but as a principle, she is to submit to her husband.
But that is, of course, with the qualifier. It excludes any coercion to sin. If the husband, if the unsaved husband is encouraging her to engage in some sort of sin, then she can't do that. Or to be disobedient to God's word.
To be disobedient to God's word. He can't follow that either. Or if there is any imposition of physical harm. You're not required to stay with a unbelieving husband. That is harming you. Likewise, the husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel.
And as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. Husbands, likewise. Submission is the responsibility of a Christian husband as well. As it is to one another. In fact, Paul in Ephesians said this.
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. He didn't say great unto small, small unto great. Husband unto wife, wife unto husband. He says, Christian unto Christian. Submit yourselves to one another.
Though not submitting to his wife as a leader of the household, a believing husband must submit to the loving duty of being sensitive to her needs, fears, and feelings. In other words, Christian husbands, you need to subordinate yourself, your needs, to her needs.
Whether she's a Christian or not. Specifically note some things. Chivalry, companionship. Be with her. If you'd rather be out playing golf, you don't turn around and down once in a while or make her lick you.
It's not that you can't go to play golf ever, but your needs to play golf should be subordinate to your need to be a companion to your wife. I'm old, I'm stationed where marriages have broken up because, not because the husband didn't love the wife, didn't care for her, but wanted to go play golf.
Or wanted to go, in this case, to play with the boys. She couldn't play, she didn't want to go, he went. He went too many times. She needs the companionship. He wasn't sensitive to her needs. You can't be that way.
You need to be aware of the needs and feelings of your wife. Now, if the wife is fully in Christ, and is in no way spiritually inferior, because she is a woman, she is physically weaker. And in need of protection, provision, and strength from her husband.
And this word that is here called the grace of life, I thought that's talking about salvation, but it's not. You know what it's talking about? It's talking about marriage. It's talking to married people, and it's talking about marriage, and that's the best earthly relationship that, that's the best earthly relationship that life has to offer.
The best relationship you can have in this world is a relationship that you have with a wife. The best of the best is a married husband and a wife. But husbands, you must cultivate that companionship.
You must cultivate that fellowship with your wife. Whether it's a Christian or not. So that prayers be not answered. This refers specifically to the husband's prayer for salvation of his wife. Now, remember we changed, remember we changed topics.
If I think, okay. Is this one working now? Okay. Okay, I'm gonna pick up right here. But husbands, you must cultivate companionship and fellowship with your wife. It's not something that happens by accident.
You must cultivate it. That's your responsibility. It's your responsibility to sense her needs, her desires, what she wants, and put your needs and desires and wants in subordination to hers. That's your responsibility.
If you do that, she can't help but love you. I don't think. If she always comes first and she knows that she always comes first. She knows what your feeling of her is. When I say first, I mean first only with one exception.
And what's that one exception? First with a single one exception of God. God comes first and your wife comes second. And for ladies, God comes first and your husband comes second. And then other people, other believers come third.
And then the world comes fourth. And then we get to this phrase that says that your prayers be not hindered. And what this is specifically talking about, because now we're talking about a believing husband with an unbelieving wife.
It's what Peter's talking about. This refers specifically to the husband's prayer for the salvation of his wife. Such a prayer would be hindered if the husband were not respectful for the wife's needs and her fellowship.
And that's the unbelieving wife. You understand that. And so now Peter turns his attention to the church. Now, the first spiritual support that the Lord gave man was marriage. And this is not the second one, but this is far down the list, but it's the one that's the most concerned to us.
The church. The church is another spiritual support system, another spiritual fortification as it were. Verse eight. Finally, be all of one mind, having affection one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous.
Be all of one mind. That means think the same. Be like-minded. Brother David has been talking about this over the last several weeks, unity in the church. Be of like mind, be united. Think alike. Think alike of God.
Think alike of striving to know more about God, trying to be more like God. Think the same. Be like-minded. The idea is to maintain an inward unity of the heart. All Christians are to be examples of peace and unity, not of disruption and disharmony.
Not rendering evil for evil, nor railing for railing, but contrarwise blessing, knowing that ye are there unto called that ye should inherit a blessing. Now, blessing means to speak well of or to eulogize.
And the word occurs twice in this verse. I'm gonna read it again so we can see it. Not rendering evil for evil or railing for railing, but contrarwise blessing, knowing that ye are there unto called that ye should inherit a blessing.
Now, there's two blessings here mentioned in this verse. One is a blessing that you're to give. And another one is the blessing that you'll receive. The first one was a blessing that you're to give to the revilers, to the people that despicably use you, and to your friends, to everyone.
And then there's the one that you're gonna get. Now, since God has given you the blessing that you don't deserve, how many of you deserve the blessings that you have? I raised my left hand because it doesn't count.
The answer is none of us deserve the blessings that we have. We're given that blessing because God chose to give them to us. Since God gave you the blessings you don't deserve, rather than the judgment that you do, how many of you deserve to be judged instead of blessed?
I have to change my hand, right? I deserve to be judged, not to be blessed. But Christ was judged and I was blessed. That is so amazing. And since God has given you and me the blessings that we don't deserve, rather than the judgments that we do deserve, maybe it would be a good idea for you to seek the blessing that you know you're gonna get.
By giving a free gift of forgiveness to someone who's wronged you. That's not nearly as much as Christ gave you undeservedly. You're gonna give your blessing to somebody that doesn't deserve the blessing.
And what are you gonna do? The blessing that the Christian is to give the reviler includes finding ways to serve him, praying for his salvation or his spiritual progress. It's much easier for me to pray for the spiritual progress of some of my enemies than it is to pray for their salvation.
But the Lord doesn't tell me that. He says, salvation and spiritual progress, expressing thankfulness for him, speaking well of him and desiring his wellbeing. And that's for your enemy. That's how we should work within the church.
And now for a change of topic, and we're gonna soon be through. So you want to experience a good life. How many of you want to experience a good life? I think that's everybody. Everybody wants to experience a good life.
Peter presents a blueprint for how to obtain a good life. He took this blueprint from Psalms 34. I'm gonna read Peter's blueprint first, and then I'm gonna read Psalms 34. I'm gonna, I'm in verse 10. For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips that they speak no guile.
Let him eschew evil and do good. Let him seek peace and ensue it. For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous and his ears are open to their prayers. But the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.
Now, I read that, and you notice after the word evil, there's a period. You notice that? Pay attention to that. Now we're gonna go to Psalms 34, and I'm gonna begin just a slight bit earlier. And the very first is gonna look a little bit different, beginning at verse 12, Psalms 34, 12.
Now, the first verse, verse 12, will be similar, but the rest of it will almost be identical. Let's read and see. What man is he that desireth life and loveth many days that he may see good? That kind of corresponds to Peter, chapter three, verse 10.
For he that will love life and see good days, not word for word, but pretty close. What man is he that desireth good life and loveth many days that he may see good? Now keep track. Keep thy tongue from evil.
You see that in Peter? And thy lips from speaking guile. See that? Depart from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. In Peter, he said, ensue it, but that's the same, pursue it. Seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous and his ears are open to their cry. The face of the Lord is against them that do evil. And look at the word evil in this passage. What's after the evil? A comma.
That happened in another place where the Lord himself was quoting a verse in Isaiah and he stopped mid-sentence at a comma and put a period and went on. I'm implying that this may be the same thing that's happening here.
Now look what it says. To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth. This last element is, I believe, not of this age that we're living in right now.
The remembrance of those that do evil. And I know it's not working now because I can remember plenty of people that have done evil and are doing evil right now. To cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
This apparently parallels the Lord's reading in Isaiah, of Isaiah 61 verses one and two in Luke. Here too, Jesus stopped short of the phrase and the day of vengeance of the Lord. So I believe that that portion is still in the future.
Okay, quickly going on. And who is he that will harm you if you be followers of that which is good? I may not go as far as I intended, but I'm gonna stop after this thought because I'm getting late in time, I think.
Followers of them that do good. Who are those that are followers of, who are those that be followers of that which is good? Who are the followers of that which is good? Well, the Christian should be, and Christians sometimes are, but Christians sometimes are not.
Here's what it is. Those who know what to do and do it. Those who know what is right to do and do it. Those are the ones that are following that which is good. Now say, you know, the Lord forgives us if we don't.
Where he is, he looks at us and he say, okay, one more time when Bill knew what to do was good and he didn't do it because his job was at risk, a friendship was at risk. He knew what was right to do and he didn't do it.
I'm not following that which is, I'm not following that which is good. James says this, therefore to him that north to do good. And doeth it not. To him, it is a sin. So if you don't want to do is good, if you know what is good to do and you don't do it, then you're not a follower of that which is good.
You're a Christian maybe, but you're not a follower at least at that time of that which is good. And to you, that's a sin. And that's something that you need to be forgiven for. And fortunately, God knew that we would mess up and he is prepared to and will forgive us.
However, none of this implies that if you're a Christian, okay, first thing, you're a Christian and you know what to do. That is, you know what's right to do. There's a situation that comes up and you know what is right to do and what is not right to do.
And you do it. So there's a time in your life when you're a Christian, something comes up in front of you, you know the right choice to make. You know what's the right choice, you know why it's the right choice.
And you do it. Does that mean you won't suffer? In fact, we know you will suffer. We know that from verse 14. But if you suffer for righteousness sake, how ye are ye and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled.
Romans 8, 31 says, what shall we say then to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? I am gonna finish. But sanctify the Lord God in your heart and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you, a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.
Now here, Christ is to be a preferred translation. So the reading should be set apart in your hearts, Christ as Lord. The heart is the sanctuary in which the Lord prefers to be worshiped. Live in submission and submissive communication, communion with Lord Jesus, loving and obeying him, and you have nothing to fear.
Oh, bad things can happen to you on this earth, but they're temporary and they're mild compared to what's waiting for you. Be ready to give an answer. Always be ready to give a defense. The English word apologetics comes from the Greek letter, Greek word translated answer here.
Peter is insisting that the believer must understand what he believes and why he's a Christian. And then he's be able to articulate his beliefs humbly, thoughtfully, reasonably, and biblically, and the hope that is in you.
And what is the hope that is in you? Salvation, that's the hope that is in you with its anticipated eternal glory. So whatever suffering you have here on this earth is mild and meek and short term compared to the salvation with its eternal glory.
And so we did finish what I intended to get through today. Any comments or questions? If not a quick prayer, most gracious heavenly father, thank you for allowing us to come together once again, both in person and on the world wide web so that we can meet and greet people throughout the world.
Bless us and keep us and go through the services today. In Jesus name we pray, amen.