Proverbs 12:1 (Strong Children Pt. 2)

The Shepherd's Church

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Thank you for subscribing to the Shepherds Church podcast.

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This is our Lord's Day Sermon We pray that as we declare the Word of God that you would be encouraged Strengthened in your faith and that you would catch a greater vision of who Christ is May you be blessed in the hearing of God's Word and may the Lord be with you we're In some respects we're a church with some quirky folk in it I'm one of those quirky people People can often be Surprised by some of the things that are that are my quirks that are among my quirks One of them in particular is I can be a stickler for words.

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So one of the things that I Tend to insist on I'm not my record isn't perfect on it But I typically will insist on personally and in our home is that we never call our our children kids And when I say never again, we do our best to do this.

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We're not perfect in it Because words matter right the word kids is Reference to a baby goat right and in the Bible we see, you know, God, you know, Jesus He's has this dichotomy between the obviously the people of God and the people of the serpent the enemy the people the people who hate Who hate God? worldly people And he calls the people of God sheep and the world Goats and so I'm like, I don't have kids I have children and so I want to I'm a it's a little bit I'm a little bit of a stickler for it because I believe that my children are Part of the visible people of God certainly they're part of the church and I Believe and I want to speak over them That they are numbered among God's people.

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They are among God's sheep I don't want them to to think that I view them as a baby goat Just growing up in this world to be to remain a worldly goat for their entire lives so again, it's I can be a bit of a stickler about it within my home because I Can be it's one of my quirks.

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Anyways, I'm not saying that everyone here must start calling your children Children and not kids that's that's not what I'm gonna say this morning But I share that at the outset here to say that the things that we believe Should impact the way that we live our lives, right the things I have that standard we have that Lena and I have that kind of rule or best practice in our home because we believe something and So whenever we believe something and really believe it it should have an impact on the way we live our lives Last week we looked at the importance of our children And the work that God is doing to fulfill his promises to Abraham and to Abraham's seed the Lord Jesus Christ We looked specifically last week at Genesis chapter 18 and verse 19 where God says to Abraham for I have chosen him meaning Abraham so that he may command his Children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice So that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what he has spoken about him Essentially the Lord is teaching us that he intends to bring about the promised blessing of all the earth through Abraham and his seed he's gonna do that through Abraham's teaching of his children and Household after him to keep the way of the Lord and and that is the purpose even for why God has chosen Abraham the reason why God knows him is so that he would teach his household so that he would bring about his promises and This same thing is true for us God intends to bring about the world-swallowing kingdom of Jesus Christ Which will bless all the families of the earth through the work of his people the church Specifically and normatively not only but normatively in their commanding of their children and households to keep the way of the Lord and to Continue the work until it is completed again, we talked last week about you know, some other important things that Happen in the life of the church missions and evangelism.

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These are important things.

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These are good things when done rightly, but normatively God would have us to grow his kingdom through the baptizing and teaching of our young people in the ways of the Lord as he Patiently builds his kingdom and saves his elect As we talked about last week we see through history You know with groups like the the shakers that an utter reliance on Evangelism an adult conversion is a recipe for ultimate disaster It's the point now for the shakers You can hardly call them a group at all because only two of them one more if they lose one more person They're not even a group anymore.

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They're just a person.

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There's a shaker over there And what is a shaker if there's only one if you only have one salt shaker You need a salt and a pepper shaker.

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Anyways, I digress.

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That's not in my notes, but I couldn't help myself So the principle Namely the importance of our children to God and therefore to what is important to this community, right? This is important to God And so we want this to be important to this community here very specifically That as we look to be built up for the works that God has prepared for us to walk in Not only today but in the future and generations to come We want to remember this principle that this is how God would have us to work Primarily want this to be a fuel that drives our behavior And so today we're gonna look to gain more direction from God's Word on How we are to live with this end in view if that's the end if that's the if in principle, that's where we're going That's what God is doing.

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How do we live today in order to to move the needle as it were in that direction? So we're gonna start in Proverbs 12 Verse 1 is going to be kind of our base text just for the just to kind of be a springboard We're gonna be kind of all over the scripture today But Proverbs 12 1 says whoever loves discipline loves knowledge But he who hates reproof is stupid if we desire to honestly say that we love the end that we look forward to that we love the truths of how God intends for Us to live if we are gonna be people who dares to say that we love the doctrines.

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We love post-millennial ism Then that knowledge of doctrine Better lead to a disciplined life of obedience unto God Through the power of his spirit.

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We can't just say that we love that.

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I thought it's a great.

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That's a great theological doctrine I love it so much.

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I love that knowledge If you love that knowledge You will love the discipline that comes with it That's what Proverbs 12 1 is teaching us and so we're gonna really dig into the disciplines That God would have us to learn and to live in In light of our love for the knowledge that he will build this kingdom through the work of his church So let's pray as we begin this morning and ask God for his help Father we do Thank you this morning that as we do come before you as we've stated we can come Knowing that we are welcomed here in your presence that we are welcomed not because of ourselves not because of our ability to To do the things that we've talked about in the reading of the law to do the things that we'll look at today We're not welcomed because of our ability or rather We are welcomed because of the merit of the Lord Jesus Christ Or help us this morning to cling to him to be driven into your arms Lord that your spirit would Would comfort us would build us up for the works that you've given that you are preparing us for That ultimately they would glorify you or didn't even They would be we'd be able to look back in eternity To the ways that you've you that you used what seems like really small day-to-day mundane things to build your Kingdom that covers the entire earth Lord help us to to be excited about the prospects That come from from looking at what you'd have us to do And within the knowledge that you would give to us Lord to know what we have to do or help us then to take that knowledge And to build it into our lives or may your spirit help us to really Embrace the work that you'd have for us help this morning God by your spirit.

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We do pray in Jesus name Amen So as we said last week our embrace of children comes with the end in mind right in many ways.

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It's about the future But this embrace can't only be forward-looking we see very clearly rather in the scriptures that God Demonstrates his love for children He demonstrates a great use for children, and he demonstrates a great desire that children would even know him as children He doesn't love children because they might someday know him God loves children.

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He desires that they know him as Children so not merely for their utility to him does God love the children we see in Matthew 19 14 Jesus says let the little children alone and do not hinder them from coming to me for the kingdom of heaven Belongs to such as these It's not just because God thinks that they could be they could be useful in the works that he has that is certainly true But God wants them he desires, and he loves the children Further God has promised to bring about his kingdom not only through the covenantal succession of children Which is the principle that we're kind of talking about here being raised up in the way of the Lord right? That's he's not Only through that showing his use for them But he's even said that he would use children as children Psalm 8 2 says from the mouth of infants and nursing babes You God have established strength because of your adversaries to make the enemy and the revengeful cease One of the ways God displays and exercises his strength is actually through the mouth of babes as it were Because they're assigned to the enemy and to the revengeful of their sure Destruction God uses children as children as a sign to his enemies that he will accomplish what he said he will accomplish And finally God again is a great desire to know all of us right But a lot of us are past the earliest days of our lives And so God but God does have a desire to know the children here in our midst early in their lives He's not Kind of waiting them out for when they get to their teenage years or graduate from college God desires to know To know all of us in the early years Ecclesiastes 12 1 Remember also your creator in the days of your youth Before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say I have no delight in them Too often young people even young adults will act indifferent to the things of God because why bother now, you know I don't need to do that now.

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They think that you know, they'll so much time left, right? There's no need to do that thing that that church thing yet Meaning no need what they actually mean is that no need to obey God the Creator at this point But Solomon here in Ecclesiastes 12 is exhorting young people to remember God not someday, but today Don't waste your youngest years when you have the most energy the most potential the most opportunity That's in the earliest part of your life Don't use that time to serve your sin and to serve the devil Again, too many young people think they can serve the devil in their best years and then give God the leftovers at the end of their life God wants your best.

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We see this throughout the scripture.

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God wants the firstfruits He wants the best in our youth is the firstfruits God wants that And so he we owe that to him and so to young people give that to him today Particularly the young children give God your youth and so again These things these points I'm making here kind of at the outset are meant to just reinforce what we learned last week That God has great purposes for the world.

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He's building a kingdom that's going to cover and bless the entire earth He said and he has said that the principal way he's gonna do that the way he's gonna build that kingdom You know Abraham this time into Israel.

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This is how I'm gonna do it church.

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This is how I'm going to do it He's going to do that through the raising of your children and your household after you to follow the way of the Lord I'm gonna do it.

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I'm gonna do this.

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I'm gonna give you fulfill this promise.

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I made to you through you teaching and commanding your households and Furthermore God's interest in children is not merely about the best way again It's not that he's doing this just because this is the way that he that just because it's the best way to do it But it's because he loves the children.

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He wants to use the children in fact does use the children as children To smite his enemies and he desires the children to know him from their youngest years That they may offer up their whole lives as a living sacrifice to him and so now Kind of with that I guess summary and recap How we want to how we then respond right? How do we live? Right.

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We believe these things now.

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How do we live in light of them? Well as apostle as the Apostle Peter tells us in 2nd Peter 1 5 through 8 for this very reason also Applying all diligence in your faith supply moral excellence and in your moral excellence knowledge and in your knowledge self-control and in your self-control Perseverance and in your perseverance godliness and in your godliness brotherly kindness and in your brotherly kindness love For if these qualities are yours and are increasing they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ You know, there are many knowledgeable men and women and children here or even in Reformed Christian circles more broadly You know not exclusively the case, but in my experience with very knowledgeable Families people who are very well thought out in their beliefs.

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They understand biblical concepts are able to think through the Bible's teaching Very logically even again, even children are able to do this.

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Well and a lot of Good Reformed churches, you'll see families who are raising up their children under the teaching of the Westminster Standards My children are brought up under that we go through the Westminster Shorter Catechism at home We also do that here as a church every week, right? So you can meet children and families who are quite knowledgeable about the Christian faith early on who they and they understand the Bible's teaching on Various topics, but at the same time if we're not diligent we can also fall into this trap Where we start to equate our knowledge with our godliness, but that is not the case biblically Right, you could know it all Paul says you could have all knowledge Right, but we could be lacking in the qualities that would lead us to bear fruit in this text in 2nd Peter is reminding us that our knowledge is not the final evidence that's in there That's in his sort of progression of godliness that confirms that our calling an election is sure But that is not the final evidence of our faith rather in Christ We bear fruit that demonstrates as Peter says in verse 8 Demonstrates our true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ if we are to be able to say that we truly know the Lord Then it is going to bear fruit that is in keeping with repentance Because as James says in his letter faith without works is dead And so we have to learn to apply these things to our lives and this is really important for children So again children, they're really good at learning facts, right? They pick things up really quickly When it comes to head knowledge less so when it comes to Physical knowledge and discipline it can be a little bit more tricky with children But it's still something that is critical for them to learn until to help them to see their theology come out of their fingertips They can believe these things and then how do we live? I love that quote Doug this from Pastor Doug Wilson Your theology should come out of your fingertips, right? You should be living the things that you say that you believe and so it's critical that we learn how to do this Well, particularly for children again, they're sponges.

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They soak it all in So, how do we help them to live out the things that we're teaching them? It's more than just teaching them head knowledge.

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It is teaching them a way of life a way to live the way of the Lord so with all that We're gonna kind of jump in now to a lot of application as I mentioned last week That was really kind of setting the the principle This is what God has for us.

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This is really that's foundational without that.

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We the rest of this is a little bit less Critical, but we understand this is how God is going to do the work that he's going to do And so then how do we kind of live that out on the day to day? And I'm gonna start I'm gonna work this morning and try to apply that to all of us here Not exhaustively kind of higher level But at least things for us to think about things to things for us to dig deeper into How they might come to bear in our own homes, but I'm gonna work on applying that by first to the children Speaking directly to them and then to parents and then to us more broadly as a community Again, this is not exhaustive Only meant to be kind of high-level introductory view of how we're to obey God in this area Particularly, I guess even to say how our children should aim to obey God and the way that they live their lives As we've discussed as I mentioned, you know children are too often ignored in and worse yet in many cases dismissed from the Christian Church by their own parents.

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I think it's a terrible tragedy that this happens That many Christian parents are quite.

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Okay, even desirous will will not even go to a church That does not allow for them to dismiss their own children from their presence I don't mean to say it so forcefully, but it can be it's a sad thing Many churches functionally will treat children as pagans to be evangelized someday.

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Just not today because they're not able to Stay seated in a way that we would like them to But they'll wait to treat them They'll treat them as pagans until they get older and then they can choose it for themselves I mean, we also wouldn't want to impose anything on our own children.

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That would be that would be terrible.

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That would be terrible But nature of or abhors a vacuum And so if you don't teach your children somebody else is going to teach your children that will happen that you can't ignore that And so this morning speaking directly to the young people again, I Love for you to hear this the primary way in which you honor God And live a life that is being lived in light of the principle that God is going to Bring about his world-swallowing kingdom someday The primary way for you to honor God is to believe in him to trust his promises and you can do this He's even as a child This is not something that you are unable to do Believe in God and trust his promises Hebrews 3 12 through 19 Take care brethren that there not be in any one of you an evil unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God But encourage one another day after day as long as as it is still called today So that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin For we have become partakers of Christ if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end While it is said today if you hear his full his voice, this is reference to Psalm 95 Do not harden your hearts as when they provoked me For who provoked him when they had heard indeed did not all those who came out of Egypt Led by Moses and with whom was he angry for 40 years Was it not with those who sinned whose bodies fell in the wilderness and to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest? But to those who were disobedient So we see that they were not able to enter because of unbelief Doesn't matter how many times you've been to church Doesn't matter, you know for for young people if you were baptized or even baptized on the eighth day That does not matter if you do not believe If you've hardened your heart towards God, then you will not enter his rest And so young people believe in God He's called you to believe in him and and trust in him have faith in him and what's more? We're not Gnostics here.

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I mean, we don't believe that as long as you just say that you believe That then all the way that you live doesn't really matter You know you say that you believe and yet you live a very undisciplined life again speaking to children that that's Just because you're a child.

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You can't have that excuse about I'm just a child.

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That's why I do these things You say that you believe The way that you live still matters as long as you know the right answers to the Catechism You know, we can be tended to think that we've done our part But we're wrong in thinking that the way that you live matters and here in Hebrews The author has both belief in view when he talks about obedience Right believe obedience is defined as faith verse 18 says and to whom did he swear that they would not enter his rest? But to those who were disobedient in verse 19 So we see that they were not able to enter because of unbelief their unbelief was their disobedience Their disobedience proved their unbelief, and so you must believe in God you must do so rightly yes, but further you must obey God an application always Application of this command to believe always goes beyond just knowing the facts just knowing just having the head knowledge has to come out of Your fingertips because faith without works is dead and So children again believe in God trust in him After that after belief again this has that has to be primary if I didn't start with that I'd be beside myself.

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I think that's how the expression goes.

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I'd be crazy right you have to start with belief This is critical for all of us including our children, but after that the next most important way for you children to obey God Is to honor your father and mother? The fifth commandment we read it earlier from Exodus 20 verse 12 Honor your father and your mother that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God Gives you and the Apostle Paul repeats the same command twice in the New Testament Ephesians Chapter 6 verses 1 through 3 and in Colossians 3 verse 20, but Ephesians 6 1 through 3 He says children obey your parents, and he's writing this to children right he's writing to the church And he's speaking directly to the children children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with the promise so that it may be well with you and that you may Live long on the earth Children owe their parents obedience before God If we are to say that we honor God we love God If a child is to say that they owe their parents obedience again.

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We are all imperfect here, so I want to be clear I'm not saying that any child that Disrespects or dishonors their parents once What have we done? That's not what I'm saying Right we are all imperfect especially children there have weaker frames, but we and we need to acknowledge that and and Deal with them in that in light of that, but they still owe their parents obedience.

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This is the command from God You must obey your parents you must honor them for this is right and it's well pleasing to the Lord Paul says in Colossians 3 20 and The beauty of this what I love about this command so much and Paul says it's the first command with the promise Because it's saying that there is something there's a really promised result of this a blessing of this It's your life the beauty of this command I think is that we see the glory and the benefit for all involved right God is not stingy He is so gracious and and generous to his people So we notice here that first of all God is well pleased right when a child obeys their parents this pleases the Lord He is well pleased by it Second parents are honored Right so God is pleased parents are honored and children Receive a promised blessing it will be well with you, and you may live long on the earth God is so generous to us that as he calls us to obey him He's actually promising blessing not only to the children, but to the parents.

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It's to the entire society in general It's an amazing picture to me.

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Just that one command of God's generosity to his people God's not frivolous with his commands.

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He's not seeking something from us that he's lacking or that is only for his benefit He's not doing that just to make himself feel better He doesn't need us for that, but God's law is good, and it is good for us to obey him and so again children believe God and honor your father and mother and Receive the blessings and that he promises and This is probably important to say that even in situations where parents are not great because a lot of parents aren't All parents are imperfect But there are some that are a lot worse than other parents, and that's important to acknowledge And yet children still owe their parents honor Parental authority can be disrupted when it's ungodly, but it can never be eliminated A child can never justify a total rebellion against their parents even in the case where a child becomes a Christian in an unbelieving home Right he still owes honor and respect to his father and his mother It's good for him actually to do that And so don't fall into temptation to stray from this command because you know we can go through the what-if exercise all day Well, what if this or that? Don't do that Don't don't convince yourself that you don't have to obey God because there's some situation out there that seems like it wouldn't be necessary Avoid sin in this regard and always honor your father and mother there be varying degrees again, but we honor our father and mother Proverbs 30 11 to 14 teaches us that there is a generation that curses its father and does not bless its mother There's a generation that is pure in its own eyes Yet is not washed from its filthiness There is a generation.

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Oh, how lofty are their eyes and their eyelids are lifted up There is a generation whose teeth are like swords and whose fangs are like knives To devour the poor from off the earth and the needy from among men We live in times like this.

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I'd say certainly I think probably many people would be able to say that throughout history though Yes, you know which is not it's not wise to say.

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Oh miss the good old days That is not wise the scripture teaches that but I do think that we see a generation today Zoomers, I think they call themselves That you know, they certainly they have a dis a disdain for their father and mother for those who have come before them They despise their elders.

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They despise authority.

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I think that they know everything right there wise in their own eyes And so children don't be corrupted by that type of wicked company Especially those of you who maybe have a lot of friends who are not Christians and that's not just to to the children but to parents as well if your children are around a lot of other children who would be negative influences which we'll talk more about In a little bit you have to be be aware of these things that these things can corrupt the minds of a child But children trust God learn from those he's placed over you and seek his kingdom Trust him obey your parents.

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Don't be Don't be working in league with the generation that that hates its father and does not bless its mother.

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I Think Proverbs 1 8 9 encourages us Children specifically well in this that here my son your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's your mother's teaching Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck They are a blessing to you the blessings have got to wait those who honor their parents and so you do well to start that at a young age Don't wait until you're old enough to say.

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Oh, yeah, they my parents were pretty good.

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I really gave him a hard time Don't wait for that.

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You know, you don't need to you can start you can be a blessing to them today And that is a good thing and it's good for you to do that as well now It's important also children that you don't stop at only honoring your father and mother and the authorities around you You have to believe you have to obey God you have to honor your parents But you also must grow in your obedience to God over time And the most effective way that you can do this is not of yourselves Obviously just like none of this is really of ourselves.

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This is the work of God's Spirit in us But the most effective way to do this over time is to become is to be disciplined as we read earlier from Proverbs 12 1 Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid There are a few things as important for children as growing in discipline and self-control And we can see this has been lacking for so long in our culture when you look at that utter lack of discipline really that's among again that zoomer generation laziness sexual immorality pornography Riots all that source of statues being toppled.

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It's it's to the point where it's embarrassing even really to exist in this culture Because the children are just so Destructive and dishonoring and they have not an undisciplined where things don't go their way they Go crazy.

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These are adults acting like children again.

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It's proof that To me of the fifth commandment where you have these cultures who are not honoring their Ancestors not honoring those who came before them and because of that they will not live long on the earth our culture society is Dying right? It's fading away Because our children are not honoring their father and mother that's on the national level and within this church though That's why we have to work against it We have to be we have to be raising children that honor Their father and mother generations that honor those who came before them and the Lord promises blessing to us to this people when we do that But if we lose sight of that if we don't take care of the children and helping them to grow in Discipline and if you children don't heed that and actually grow in discipline over time Then it will all fade away.

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Just like our society around us is crumbling Again, it's critical that you prepare yourself for the future in your childhood years Paul says in 1st Corinthians When I was a child, I used to speak like a child think like a child reason like a child when I became a man I did away with childish things One day that will be you you will be a man or a woman someday and you can't continue to think and act and Reason like a child you have to be able to do those things like an adult.

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You have to learn how to do those things And you so you use your childhood years to develop those skills I have too many skills particularly when it comes to marriage and parenting that I've learned as an adult That I wish I would have learned as a child Don't so the children don't wait till you're an adult to learn some of these things The Lord has given you a great blessing in your family and in the church Learn those things while you're young so that you'll be ready when you are an adult So seek discipline now put away childish things What as you grow older and if you are disciplined now if you seek those things now You'll actually be able to set them aside.

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You won't be controlled and owned by your sin So much because you have been working against it all of your life Don't stop at knowledge, but seek true knowledge as Peter said Which is a discipline that leads to godliness which glorifies God Remember Proverbs 20 11 It's not what you know or what your parents do that sets you apart It is Proverbs 20 11 says it is by his deeds that a lad a young man a child Distinguishes himself if his conduct is pure and right Right.

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We'll have a lot of children who will profess to be Christians or maybe they won't even profess to be Christians, but they'll just be here as part of the Christian community And that's good and right.

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We want them here to be clear But a young person will distinguish themselves They will they are setting themselves apart by how they act by their deeds among God's people It's not merely that we can say the right things it is that we honor God with our lives We we should we demonstrate that we believe in him and our theology comes out of our fingertips for our respect for our parents and authority and the growth and the godly Christian disciplined life and finally children Last application I'll do for the children is To remember your baptism many of the children here baptized some are not and that is okay But it's important to remember For the children here that are baptized And that will be baptized that God has placed his mark upon you and that you belong to him So if you ever struggle Get on my parents today.

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Remember your baptism Struggle with a pervasive sin or you know lack of self control and something anger you know not sharing with a sibling or Lack of love or care for those around you remember your baptism Paul says in Romans 6 what shall we say then are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? May it never be How shall we who died to sin still live in it? Or do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus have been baptized into his death? Therefore we have been buried with him through baptism into death So that as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father So we too might walk in newness of life Paul's saying that when when you're wondering to yourself like well, you know, maybe sinning is not the worst thing.

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It's grace will abound Remember that you have been baptized that's where this that expression comes from we say that often remember your baptism it means something It means something you've been baptized into Christ God has placed his mark upon your body your physical body as Assigned to you that you belong to him and to his kingdom through the death of Christ and your body belongs to him children I'm looking back there your body belongs to him when you when you want to react in a way that lacks self-control And you just you want to react in a fit of anger Your body belongs to God.

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He's put his mark upon it And your body owes obedience to him Remember your baptism do not trample underfoot the Son of God Instead again, remember what God has done for you in Christ and what he's given to you in life Remember your baptism Obviously and we'll talk more about this as we apply this to parents a lot of the children here Don't can't remember the actual moment of their baptism.

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They're baptized as children.

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Remember the meaning of your baptism It means that you belong to God and your body belongs to him and God will not have company with With sin, so do not let it abide Great job kids.

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Just kidding.

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Oh my goodness.

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I just called them kids.

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Great job children Great job.

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Great job so Again, it's important.

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We have to understand how to apply these things.

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How do we how we live out the things that we Believe and so for even for children off too often ignored these things are important now for parents Having said all these things about children.

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We have to remember that they are just children, right? They're they are of a weaker frame than we are They're they're weaker in mind and in body Especially the really young ones right and they need to learn But they can't learn without being taught and someone will teach them as we said So we have to understand that there is significant application here to parents when we talk about being a church Wants to be built strong for generations to come that means that we have we have a high expectation for our children someday That means we have a high expectation for parents today, right? So it's really important that we understand that God has called us to to live in a certain way In light of what he has promised to do just as he says to Abraham and Genesis 18 19 I have chosen him so that he may command his children in his household after him to keep the way of the Lord Children are a vital part of God's calculus in the building of his kingdom.

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And so parents have an incredible responsibility In the preparation of those children for the work that God has for them And so parents your responsibilities are obvious fairly, right? I think naturally obvious that we as parents have responsibilities to our children They're simple But they're also critical and if they are if we lack in them, then the damage could be significant so first command or first first thing for parents to consider as a point of application and how we Are built strong for generations to come that we have children who who love God? Is the same command as we touched on for children parents must believe? Right parents if you are to do well, and you're raising up of your children If you to do well in anything before God that you must believe him He must trust him and his promises in Christ.

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You must believe the gospel as humbly yourself as a sinner before him Look to Christ's life and death as the only means for your justification And you must humbly trust his Holy Spirit to help you to also grow in grace over time, right? Because you're not perfect Just because your children may struggle with sins that you don't struggle with anymore does not mean that you don't struggle with any sins And so it's important that parents humbly come before God in their parenting and believe him and trust him and And ask for his help in the raising of godly children Second point of application for parents is to be worthy of imitating This is a large one, right? So a lot can be caught up under here again.

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I'm looking at this from a high-level perspective, but Be worthy of imitating to your children in Ephesians 5 1 as Paul is kind of gearing up to provide household instruction to the church He's building up to his point by saying at the beginning of chapter 5 therefore be imitators of God as Beloved children, and I think that Paul here's is appealing to a generally accepted truth Related to the topic that he's about to dress to address in the household Essentially saying that as I get ready now to tell you about how households should treat each other, right? How each of you should treat one another in your in your station? Let me remind you that the people in a household are generally going to treat each other in a way that they learned to treat other people Right.

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So you even as parents likely will treat your children in a way that you learned to treat children from your parents And so Paul's appealing to I think a general reality here Christians be imitators of God learn from him because you are his children and he's gonna be the best example you could ever have And getting ready diving into these household topics here Because most children are gonna learn how to treat each other from the way that you husbands treat your wives wives you treat your husbands And fathers and mothers the way that you treat your children.

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So be be worthy of imitating as a Christian parent You have a great opportunity to provide a good and godly example to your children And at the same time you have an opportunity to provide a really poor and ungodly example to your children It's a critical.

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It's a critically important that we as parents are really giving our children a picture Into who God is because he's created us this way that we would learn behavior, especially again as children in those early years It's such a concentrated way for them to learn how we are to act and to live Your children will imitate you and so we we need to be mindful of that and we need to live a life that's worthy of imitating as Christian parents and As Paul progresses in Ephesians, he gets a little bit more specific about how that would look He says in chapter 6 verse 4 fathers do not provoke your children to anger But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord Paul speaking specifically to fathers because ultimately they're the responsible authority in the home.

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God provides the negative command To fathers to avoid provoking your children to anger.

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Do not provoke your children to anger Which fathers are prone to do? Typically by getting angry themselves.

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They are they are often provoked to anger sometimes or oftentimes by their children and They in doing so are now going to provoke their children to anger so again be imitators be a worthy person To be to imitate right imitate God don't act like you would in your flesh of getting angry At your children because you will provoke your own children to anger in doing so But Paul doesn't stop with only the negative instruction Do not provoke your children to anger but a positive instruction as well He says bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord Discipline and teach your children.

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That's how We are to live or to operate as parents.

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I think that these are related not only that Not only do I know that because they're in the same sentence here But I think that they are related even to the point that I'd say that just two sides of the very same coin Right, if you don't discipline and instruct your children, you are provoking them to anger and disobedience in disobedience.

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And if you do Provoke your children to anger Then you are showing your children a father who is nothing like the Heavenly Father that you're meant to be a picture of For them and so you're abdicating your responsibility to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord So it's two sides of the same coin if you are provoking your children you're not teaching them about who the Lord is and how we're to live in light of that and if You are teaching them or if you're not teaching them who the Lord is and how we're to live in light of that You're provoking them to anger because they will disobey In their nature.

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They hate God.

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They will disobey and so you need to be mindful of this and to teach your children In light of that.

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And so what are some helpful ways? For for us to do that kind of to avoid not just fathers, but parents both fathers and mothers To avoid provoking our children to anger first.

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I'd say the key thing is engagement And not of the marriage variety Engage actually be involved You have to actually discipline and teach your children You can't make them fend for themselves in life too often Parents will justify letting their young children kind of go it alone as their way of teaching them how to handle different situations, right? They'll basically say like oh, well, I'm just letting them learn as they go I'm not really gonna tell them how I think they should do it But how are they gonna learn how are they gonna do those things or even Operate in those things if you haven't taught them how they're to behave Again, they're haters of God by nature.

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They will do disobedient things And so we must be teaching them how to approach the world around them and not just throw them into kind of random Situations and and hope for the best without properly setting expectations We can't expect them to act in a righteous and God-honoring way if we're not Disciplining this God-hating nature out of them and instructing them in how to live And don't I say don't let a fear of being overbearing That can't happen and something that you also shouldn't do But don't let that that fear of being overbearing prevent you from engaging as a parent, right instead remember that discipline We discipline those that we love He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently Hebrews 12 4 to 13 says you have not yet Resisted to the point of shedding blood and you're striving against sin and you have forgotten the exhortation Which is addressed to you as sons.

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My son do not regard.

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This is this is quoting the Lord here My son do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord nor faint when you are reproved by him for those whom the Lord loves Disciplines and he scourges every son whom he receives it is for discipline that you endure God deals with you as with sons for what son is there whom his father does not discipline But if you are without discipline of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them Shall we not much rather be subject to the father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them But he disciplines us for our good so that we may share his holiness All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful yet to those who have been trained by it afterwards It yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness And therefore strengthen the hands that are weak.

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This is so perfectly applicable to children therefore strengthen the hands that are weak of This body here the knees that are feeble and make straight paths for your feet So that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed If we are going to have children who walk rightly in in the body All right, and in the body of Christ in the church, we're gonna be strengthening and strengthening them when they start out weak We're building them up for strength and to be clear when I talk about discipline.

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I'm not only talking about like the rod That's not the only thing that I'm talking about here.

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I talk about discipline just means disciple means student Discipline means teaching right? So this is about teaching our children to to obey God to honor him and to and to be a people who Who will be ultimately built up for the lives that God would have for them to live as adults So that the rod is included, but it's not the only thing that I have in in view here when I talk about discipline Further when it comes to our engagement right as parents We need to remember that you can't teach self-control and discipline to your children If you yourself are lacking in these things if you are prone to panic When things are a little bit crazy, then your children will panic in the face of uncertainty if you are easily angered most commonly again seen with Fathers or you know any parents really that gets like visibly angry at their own children scream at them things like that You're mad at them as you're getting ready to Bring discipline, right? Then in my opinion, you've disqualified yourself to provide discipline because you are Demonstrating the very same thing that you're trying to root out of your child and you are no longer qualified in that moment to deliver that discipline We must be self-controlled in our engagement.

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We must be able to approach our children as their parents Right not as a judge over them when we're actually acting hypocritical, right? It's one thing to to be a judge the Lord has placed Parents as an authority in the home And so there is a certain aspect where you do have you speak justice in that in that location in that sphere But it's important that your justice is good and righteous and fair And if you are self if you are lacking self-control and you're in your disciplining of your child for their lack of self-control Well, we're who's coming for you next The Lord you answer to him You answer to him And so it's important to remember that that we must rule righteously When it comes to the raising up of our children Related to this I'd say it's important for parents to make clear to their children what they expect of them, right? And to be consistent, you can't just kind of have no rules and and hope that they'll do well I don't also I also don't support the idea of like a hundred rules for a hundred different situations The Lord he gave his law in ten words It's called you know ten words was it sufficient for God to give his law to his people and really that can be summed up in two laws And so as parents we don't need a thousand laws to tell our children how to act and how to behave and what they should do And nor should we do that.

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We should be clear.

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We should be simple and we should be consistent Another helpful practice is unity in the marriage husbands and wives fathers and mothers Really do need to be a team a united front with their children Should never be undermining one another in front of the children They actually should be again worthy of invitation in that their children see that what God has joined together here in this home No man can put us under no man can separate what God has joined here in front of me Not even your own children should be able to separate what God has joined together in your marriage So that's a very critically important point when it comes to parenting and parenting well and raising godly boys and girls And so fathers oftentimes you'll see fathers who will kind of laugh at the you know They're their children don't listen as well to their to their wife, you know, and they don't really listen to you It's kind of funny, you know that they disobey but it's really not it's actually a shameful thing for a man if When he is either right there or even not in the room and his children are disrespecting and dishonoring his wife That's a shame upon that man because the children View his rule in the home.

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So so lightly they take it so lightly and They disrespected so much that they would dare to just disrespect his own wife Just because he's not in the room That's something for a man to be to take care of and to make sure that his children understand that him and his wife are together and mothers often was Not the same again sins are common to men and women and in different ways, right? So mothers will tend to not mock or laugh that a Husband is not effectively disciplining His children but mothers can tend to lord it over their husbands that they do most of the child rearing They spend most of the time with the children.

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And so because of that they always know best you know that Essentially, you know, they have more nurturing instincts and therefore they're kind of the better parent more superior parent and it kind of feeds into this modern caricature where like Husbands are the the additional child in the home Yeah, no, it's it's all over the place but it's That's really important.

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So we laugh but it's actually critically important that Christian homes are not Marked by that type of view of a husband and a father What so wives very important here at wives and mothers to submit to your husband's even in parenting not that Husbands are always right.

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Certainly not the case at least on my home but treat husbands like the father to your children that they are not like another one of the rugrats, right And so another way so that's an important one unity in marriage critically important another way to avoid provoking children to anger Seems really simple.

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But again, I think people really struggle with it Is to love your children Their children are blessing and inheritance from the Lord.

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We should love them.

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We should be thankful for them Christian children really should never have to wonder whether their parents love them Because Christian parents are meant to be a picture of the God who is love and so Christian children should know better than any other Children in the world that their parents love them not only by their words, but by their actions as well and then Almost done for parents a lot can be said a lot can be said But cultivating joy in children is critically important I think a lot of times Christian parents can kind of act like dictators again kind of a lot of rules type of stuff And they'll and this is why I think the Lord gives us warning to this to not Lord our authority over The people around us.

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I think especially in the home.

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It's important to cultivate joy in your children's critical Christian Children should be the happiest people in the world They have the oracles from God at a young age and they have parents who should love them like God loves them And so be joyful and teach joy to your children.

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So so critically important Big part of that is find friends for them too many people will say like I'll let my my children will pick their own friends Your children are not as good of a judge of character as you hopefully so you should choose your children's friends For them be active in that because they'll have fun They'll have more fun with their friends than with you Too many parents who like I just want to be a friend.

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I just want to be a friend to my to my to my children well That's kind of rough like you're gonna get older like you're not gonna the same interest as them like Help them to find good friends.

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You're not their friend.

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You're their parent, right? So help them to find good friends They'll bring a lot of joy to their lives and the last thing for parents is to remind your children of their baptism Again, they won't remember the actual occurrence of it for the most part at least in a Presbyterian Church like this But remind them of their baptism remind them that they've been marked by God that they belong to him That God has sovereignly placed them in your home because he loves them Right.

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So do that care for your children in this way that Fills their life with an understanding that God God loves them And God is God desires for them to know him and desires for them to honor and obey him With all of their lives and that is a good thing.

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It's a blessing to them It's not a burden on their back that they have to live their entire life in a Christian home.

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Oh No, it should be the best thing that they could ever imagine For themselves and then for their children after them.

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I would say actually, yeah I don't want to skip this part, but I will say one of the key I Think principles here when it comes to viewing children in your home as a parent is To view them not only at for who they are but for their their children to come and so a really important verse Here I won't go too deeply into it But a good man Proverbs 13 22 a good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children So give your children an inheritance something that will stick with them.

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That's beyond silver and gold, right? Teach teach them about God teach them to obey him teach them to love and honor those around them to do it with joy This is an inheritance that's gonna reap rewards for generations, right? That'll be Psalm 128 May you behold your children's children peace to Israel This is what God would have for his people and we should be a people who are laboring for that Material inheritances are good, right? And that's a good thing.

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They're important things, too I I don't reject that.

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I don't I don't hold to the idea that You can never I'm never leaving money to my children.

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That's that's gonna make them lazy.

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That's I think that's silly We inheritances and we have to view holistically they're not only physical material But it's an important way to live our lives that we do things not just for our children but for our children's children And now as we prepare to close this morning, we're gonna look at the church and this will be brief.

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I promise but Children again matter to God.

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So how does the church then this community? How do we all come alongside one another? First thing is that we have to embrace the children not merely put up with them The children are necessary to the mission of the church and we need to act like that We need to teach them love them serve them and help in there and discipling them with their parents towards the life of godliness The church also like parents should be a place where they find good company We should be there should be a place of good and godly people So mind your own holiness, right when you get frustrated that child mind your own holiness in that moment and say, you know What I want to be a place where that child's gonna have good company.

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That's not gonna corrupt their character someday Mind your own holiness that you and your children may be good company to another family and to other children someday Similar to parents churches should be a place of great celebration and joy, right? We need to be a people who are happy to be together not miserable and You know kind of reluctant every week Let's be a happy people that we get to come alongside one another and encourage each other And not just have enough events that kind of fills a you know The fun quota, you know, we did X number of events.

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That doesn't matter You actually have to be joyful in your heart because people will sense it people know I get around that person that guy's that kind of miserable, you know I don't have anybody in mind to be clear on but you know people know people can tell when people are not a joyful People doesn't matter how many events they do together But our joy that's in our heart should come to bear and how we teach how we sing how we learn and how we treat each other An Important one is that churches should be a place of respite for families for troubled families in particular too often counseling is Sent out to the secular therapists and often the solutions are destroying families Divorce telling children that it's all their parents fault Telling you know husbands and wives that they should leave one another And chemically destroying children just because they have a lot of energy These things are terrible terrible things.

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And so how does the church serve families? And young people it's be a place for respite for them If you have a child that has a lot of energy and you have really tough time You're really struggling to teach them self-control and discipline.

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Don't don't go to You know the the ADHD You know over-the-counter medications or any of the medications over-the-counter doesn't matter Ridiculous qualifier you don't need it I mean there could be situations where the chemicals things are are are real But in general we need to come to the church and to look for counseling and help To to help those children with their discipline and self-control not just put Medications as the solution to to make them zombies Along the same lines and this is Where we'll get kind of to the end here a church owes it to the children to teach them To teach them the faith rightly church owes it to all of us to do this But to the children in particular we owe them the faithful word passed down from the Apostles We cannot lose that The church must be a place where parents find Assistance and help in their training up of a child in the way that he should go so that when he gets older he will Not depart from it And then lastly churches must be a place where? Children are reminded of and are baptized it is good For a child to understand and to know tangibly that they belong to God by covenant And it's his intention that he would use them even from their youngest age So we must be a place where the children to find that They find a place that embraces them and loves them and marks them marks their belonging through baptism So let us close this morning And I'll just read the words of Psalm 127 where we Sell or we see that the Lord he is engaged in the building up of his house his family and he will Accomplish that and he will he has us to be a part of that Through the blessing that is children Psalm 127 says unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it Unless the Lord guards the city the watchman keeps awake in vain and jumping down to verse 3 behold Children are a gift of the Lord the fruit of the womb is a reward like arrows in the hand of a warrior So are the children of one's youth? How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them? They will not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gates again The Lord is building his kingdom and he is using us here to do that and let us be engaged in that As children as parents and as a community in working for his glory.

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Let's pray Where we thank you for your word.

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Thank you for this time this morning that we've had together in it May you please help us in response to To hear what it is.

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You'd have for us this morning to to obey the commands that you've given to us Give us strength through your spirit to to love you or to desire to know you and to work Or for your glory help our children our sons to grow strong Like saplings growing up in their youth and our daughters To be as columns sculpted in the palace style Lord help us to be a people marked by the beauty that comes only in knowing you As you again build this up in strength for your work for generations to come in Christ's name.