Mary, Martha and Marriage - [1 Corinthians 7:25-40]

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I just was thinking as we were singing, who is like our Lord, who's like the Lord? As we're all prone to exaggerate, can you over -exaggerate how much
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God has done for you in Christ Jesus? We love to brag, I was surfing with Luke yesterday,
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I don't get up that much, but when I do get up I have to brag about it and exaggerate. But you know, you say, oh yeah,
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I caught that one wave and it was like a ten foot face and down I went over and I shredded Luke just before I ran over him,
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I turned, but I didn't do any of that, I just was Nebraska man, surfing.
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And then you see a fish that's dead, yeah that fish was like four feet long, it was dead over there and it's really, you know, a little minnow.
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We just exaggerate, but you know, interestingly, in 1 Corinthians chapter 1, Paul says, you've got to boast in the
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Lord, let the boasting one boast in the Lord. Can you say more about God in some kind of, can you exaggerate about God and who you were and yet what
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He's done for you? Who could over -exaggerate that? I think about Paul with the people at Corinth, if you just step back for a minute and say, before time began,
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God said, I'm going to plant a church in Corinth and I'm going to pick some of those people and elect them to myself.
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And then in time I'll have my son go and die for those people and then
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I'll send some missionaries like Paul and others to go there to preach and then the
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Spirit of God would superintend the word and save them. And at Corinth, of all places, before I came out here, one man said to me, you know, we'd like to plant a church in Las Vegas, that would be a great place for a church.
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It's kind of like the Las Vegas of the Mediterranean, here's Corinth, yet God planted a church there so people would be redeemed and they would all boast,
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Jesus Christ is a great God. Let the boasting one have no boast before the Lord but of the
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Lord. And then that boasting takes a manifestation, not just in we praise you God, but in light of what you've done for us, we want to hear your word and obey your word.
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Turn with me, if you would, to Luke chapter 10, as we're going to get into 1 Corinthians 7, but in a circuitous fashion.
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Back to 1 Corinthians through Luke 10, and today we're going to learn a wonderful lesson and that lesson is this.
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Some good things aren't necessarily the best things. Make sure you don't substitute good in your life when you could have the best.
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Setting priorities, and so we're going to look at this passage in 1 Corinthians 7 momentarily, but I want to first take you to Luke chapter 10 to a passage that you're going to say, oh yeah,
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I know this. That's one of my favorite things in life to do, is to teach, I know this passage in such a way where you say,
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I didn't know it, I had no idea, it was that whole Mary Martha deal, you know, we all know that,
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Martha, Martha, but let's just stop for a second and you'll find out soon enough that this is related to 1
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Corinthians 7, oh I'll tell you. It's got some similar words and similar themes, both in Luke 10 and in 1
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Corinthians 7. The good isn't necessarily the best. So Luke 10 .38,
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now we're going to dive in here, but you're going to quickly see that the issue is not where exactly they're going.
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The event isn't the important thing, a locale, it's what's happening at the locale. You're going to quickly see a lot of people involved, but the spotlight just spotlights right on Jesus.
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It's like everybody else turns to black and white, some kind of monochromic, and then Jesus is highlighted.
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You're going to watch this and just think, this is amazing. Just with words, Jesus' words, the
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Spirit of God's words. Luke 10 .38, now as they went on their way,
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Jesus entered a village. A woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.
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So they were on the way, but Jesus is the focus. We don't have to necessarily know what city we're at because we want to see what's going on.
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Now, if you're a good Bible student and you like to understand what the passage says, you should always think of context. What is going on just before this?
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And everybody who looked is cheating, but I'm glad you've got your Bibles there. I love it that you bring your
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Bibles to church, and for those of you that bring electronic Bibles, shame on you. But those that bring real
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Bibles, no, I'm just glad you bring your Bibles. I feel so bad now every time
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I'm talking to someone and I say to myself, I'm going to look up a Bible verse. I have to tell them, I'm not getting my mail,
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I'm not on ESPN, I'm looking up my Bible. Context means everything.
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What's the context just before this? If you don't get the passage earlier, you don't get Mary and Martha. The context is the
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Good Samaritan. Let me read you the context, and I'm going to ask you as I read it, how are these two connected?
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They are purposely related. One follows the other. It's not even chronological in Luke many times, it's thematic.
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Why do we have the Good Samaritan here, and then Mary and Martha here? There's a reason.
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Can you catch it? Luke 10, 29, but he desiring to justify himself said to Jesus, and who's my neighbor?
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Jesus replied, a man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, stripped him, beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
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Now, by chance, a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
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So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
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But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion.
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He went to him, bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine, and he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him.
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And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper saying, take care of him, and whatever more you spend,
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I will repay you when I come back. Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?
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Then he said, the one who showed mercy. And Jesus said to him, you go and do likewise.
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Now, Mary and Martha, how are they related? What's going on? I'll give you the answer by defining hospitality.
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Hospitality defined, kindness in welcoming strangers are guests. Kindness in welcoming strangers are guests.
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We go from one example where hospitality on the road is shown, and now to an example in Luke chapter 10 where hospitality should not be shown as a top priority.
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There's something better than hospitality. Hospitality's good. Taking care of a stranger's good. Taking care of a guest in the east.
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What was it like in the Middle East? If somebody came to your house, how would you have to roll out the red carpet? You say, well, that's a good thing.
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Yeah, but there's something better. That's the whole point of 1 Corinthians 7. There could be a good thing, but there's something better, especially when it makes you fully devoted, holy -minded, setting your thoughts on who
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Christ is. Jesus in this account is going to show us,
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Luke will show us as the human author, that these are tied together.
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And what does the text say back in Luke chapter 10 of Martha? A technical term for welcoming a person into the house.
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She welcomed Jesus. She threw out the welcome mat. You can tell
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I was tired of it. I almost said the Malcolm Watt. You would have known what I meant. You're tired too.
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But hallelujah, the air conditioner's working. Jesus is moving along, a vent doesn't matter, other people doesn't matter.
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He comes to your house and you want to just show hospitality. You want to do everything you can.
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Hospitality to a weary traveler is good, isn't it? Kindness in welcoming a guest is good, isn't it?
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Verse 39, we have kind of a silent figure here, a silent sister. She had a sister called
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Mary, who did everything wrongly, who sat at the
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Lord's feet and listened to His teaching. Shouldn't she be helping? By the way, this is what a disciple does, and few women ever are shown in the
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New Testament doing this very thing. This is not what women did. Women worked over here while the men sat at Jesus' feet with a reflexive kind of language.
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She took it upon herself with self -initiation to say, I'm going to sit at the feet of Jesus to learn.
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The Greek word is miriam. She sat there. She took the initiative.
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You know the story, verse 40, but Martha was distracted with much serving. She was busy, she was sweating, and she went up to him and said,
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Peter -like, I might add. You could probably pant when you were going to say this,
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Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.
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I alone, this is the sixth sola of the Reformation, sola serva,
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I alone am serving. This is just not what you do. We've just seen the narrator
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Luke say, hospitality is good, showing the good Samaritan just pouring out help.
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But you know what's happening, and she says it in such a rhetorical way, yes is anticipated. Don't you care?
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Yes, I know you care, Lord, in Luke 10. She's irritated, but she's also distracted.
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She's being pulled away. Here's Jesus teaching Mary over here, and here's Martha now, distracted.
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She has divided attention, overburdened with this duty she thinks she has to do.
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She thinks she's doing the right thing, but she's too busy for Jesus. Text says she was distracted, and she said, tell her then to help me.
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She's just sitting around at the Lord's feet of all places like a man. Should she be helping in the kitchen?
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Verse 41, but the Lord answered her, the Lord answered her, Martha, Martha, there's some tenderness there, some emotion there.
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You are anxious. That is the tie -in, by the way, to 1 Corinthians 7, same word.
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You are anxious and troubled about many things. You're distracted.
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Sometimes good things aren't the best thing, and you're divided in your mind, but one thing is necessary, a good meal.
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Well, Martha has chosen the good portion. That's a good meal.
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She's chosen a good meal. It's figurative. She's chosen the best meal to sit at the Word of God, to sit at the
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Lord's feet and receive the good meal. You ever go to church and you just get such a deep message, you go,
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I felt fed today. Here's the meal, Martha, but the meal isn't what you serve. It's the meal that Jesus gives to Mary.
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She's got the good portion. She's receiving God's Word. That's the most important thing.
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Martha, you're fretting. Martha, you're fussing. Martha, you're fuming. Jesus the Lord says, this might be good, but there's a time and a place where it's not the best.
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This one thing is better. One thing is needed. Say no to the good to say yes to the best.
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Hey, that reminds me of something. That's 1 Corinthians 7. Let's turn there. Good better best when doing a good thing isn't the best.
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I have a message today for the single people. Months ago we were in 1 Corinthians 7 and you probably were saying, it's marriage verse, marriage verse, marriage verse.
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Now, what am I going to do? When will we talk about the singles? I'm going to talk to you today and everybody else says, good,
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I can check out on this one. No. Congregation, you need to know about the single life. And two, there's so many things in 17, chapter 7 verses 25 to 40, you're going to go, oh, this is great.
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It's not just good for the singles, it's good for me. The overall theme of 1 Corinthians 7, 25 to 40 is going to be this.
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There's something that's good, marriage, but there's something that even could be better. Ready?
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Singleness. If you're single, marriage might be good, but Paul says something might even be better.
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And by the way, for those of you that sit here and you're single and you go, you know what the world says, I'm an old maid,
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I'm an old spinster. Paul is going to elevate singleness to a category that's going to far outshine marriage in many ways.
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And our view as a church congregation for the married people, it's not, well, we have some single people over here.
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They on the chopping list, the chopping list, okay, let me just, they're on the chopping block.
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Paul is going to say marriage is good, but if you're single, something might be better.
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Holy heart, holy hearted devotion to God. And for those of you who are already married, you might say to yourself as I go through this passage, before I take that new job, maybe
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I should ask this question. That new job's good, but is it the best? Because if it distracts me from wholly focused on the
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Lord Jesus, 50 ,000 a year more is not worth it. Oh yeah, but I might be able to move to this place across the country.
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I might be able to do this or that. Well, it might be good, but will that new position make it divided in your mind to say,
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I just can't serve the Lord like I should have or could have here. So 1 Corinthians 7, verses 25 to 40 today, sometimes the good isn't the best.
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And we'll find out quickly that marriage divides your attention and it's hard to be spiritual when you're married.
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I'm glad nobody said amen. The husbands knew better. You were going to be so dust if you did.
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Last week we looked at Colossians and Colossians says that the goal of the church is the maturation of the saints, that they would be fully devoted.
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That's the old Testament equivalent of perfect or mature, fully devoted, fully devoted to serve
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Jesus and married people, it's harder when you're married to do that.
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Single people, by the end of this message, here's what I hope you've processed. Instead of spending 25 hours a week on eHarmony,
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I don't care if you go to eHarmony or not, just don't tell me about it. I don't care.
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I need to be fully devoted to serve the Lord. There's a reason why
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I'm single. There's a reason why I'm single and can devote myself to serve the
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Lord. So instead of worried about how you're going to get married, to whom will you marry, etc.,
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etc., your time and your energy can be full on, full bore for the
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Lord. You don't have to say, well, how am I going to take care of my wife and my kids and other issues?
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No. So let's just see how far we get today. I want to cover the whole thing, but I don't know if we can.
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Paul is saying to redeemed church, church, you've been bought by a price, Christ Jesus, then here's how you respond to honor me.
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And he talked about marriage in chapter 7. That's when we start getting the questions and answers.
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Do you see in chapter 7, verse 1, what's the first thing it says there? 7 .1. Now concerning the matters about what you wrote, he's been saying there's some issues in the church, chapters 1 to 6.
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Now he's got some answers to their questions. As one commentator said, the trouble is this is like reading somebody else's mail.
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We don't know the questions, but we know the answers. And so the question was, for instance, in verses 1 and following, is it good for a man to have sexual relations with a woman?
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There's so much perversion and Corinth and temple prostitution and engaging in sex with prostitutes called worship.
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Maybe it's just not good for married couples to ever be together again. And Paul answers the question. Well, what about divorce and remarriage?
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Paul answers the question. What about marrying an unbeliever?
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Paul asks the question. And he pretty much says in verse 24, in the middle of all kinds of sin that can cloud relationships and been married three times, divorced to one, married this, that, and the other, what do we do?
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Paul says in verse 24 of 1 Corinthians 7, so brothers, in whatever condition each was called, when you became a
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Christian and you were married, let them remain there with God. You don't have to try to say, yeah, but it was an unbiblical divorce and this, that, and the other.
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Just remain there. Just stay where you are. Now, 725 to 40 is going to answer this question.
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Paul, you said to remain where you are. I'm engaged. What do I do?
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I'm betrothed, to use their language. If you say remain, remain, remain, remain, just stay where you are, you don't have to try to get out of this sin mess that's divorce and remarriage and everything else has caused.
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You're married now to a spouse. Stay there. Yeah, but I'm engaged. And so Paul takes 16 verses to answer it.
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And I think you'll see again, to repeat myself, when the world says singleness is bad in a church and old maid spinsters are bad,
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Paul will say, it's a great exalted position. And then to everyone else,
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Paul will say, sometimes you have to say no to the good to say yes to the best. So let's take a look at it.
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When I first came to these verses, I was dreading it. I'd go so far to say, I don't know if any
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Bible that I've ever had out of the 20, 40, 50, 100 Bibles I have, I don't know how many I have. I don't think
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I've ever underlined anything in here. Maybe if you're single, these are your life versus,
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I don't know, but it's just chock full of good things.
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Remain as you are. Yeah. But what about singleness? So Paul says, verse 25, now concerning the virgins are the betrothed, the engaged.
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We'd say it today. I have no command from the Lord. In other words, there's not a chapter and verse that I can quote from.
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There's no red letters that I could pull from. If Jesus said something about it, it's not recorded in scripture. Remember, Paul is spirit driven, spirit inspired,
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God breathed. But I give my judgment as one who, by the Lord's mercy, is trustworthy.
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These other false teachers out there, not so trustworthy, but I'm trustworthy. You can take my word for it when it comes to betrothals, engagements, and marriages.
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Now let me give you four considerations for singles here who might want to marry. Four considerations for singles.
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Looking before you leap, we'll call it maybe. And again, we're going to soon find out that marriage is good, but singleness might be better, and you are not a second class citizen if you're single.
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Consideration number one. And I'm calling them considerations on purpose because they're not commands by Paul.
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This is very pastoral, driven by theology, and they're very wise of Paul as he walks between liberty and legalism, as he walks between licentiousness and asceticism.
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He just threads the needle perfectly. Consideration number one if you're single.
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Singleness might be better because marriage brings extra difficulties, especially in tough times.
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In tough times, marriage brings extra difficulties, so singleness might be better. Look at verses 26 through 28.
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I think that in view of the present distress, it is good for a person to remain as he is. Are you bound by a wife?
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Don't seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Don't seek a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned.
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And if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
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Back up to 26. Present distress. What's going on? This is not just end times groanings where we're in the end days, things are tough.
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This was something that we don't really know what was happening. Some people say it was a plague. Some people say it was a famine.
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Some people say Jerusalem's about ready to be destroyed. Erastus, the treasurer, he had been martyred according to tradition.
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Maybe there's a lot of Christian persecution, but there's a unique situation to Corinth, and they are literally dying, and now
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Paul is going to say, by the way, if you're engaged, here's some advice for you. There's a national crisis. Maybe there's a war going on.
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What do you do in the middle of war? What do you do when there's no food? So we don't know exactly what that present distress is, but it's made
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Paul say, you know what? As one man said, when high seas are raging, it's no time for changing ships.
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Or as Francis Bacon said, children sweeten labors, but they make misfortunes more bitter.
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Social unrest, no grain, no food. You're going to get married and have a wife and then have kids? That's not the best.
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By the way, married people, if there is a horrible situation like war and famine and everything else, don't ditch your wives.
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Verse 27, are you bound by a wife? Don't seek to be free, even when there's some kind of plague or famine.
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Are you free from a wife? Don't seek a wife. It's difficult to be married when there's a crisis, but what
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God has created and tended is a lifelong thing. You keep it that way.
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But then he defers and says in verse 28 to the one who wants to get married, but if you do marry, you have not sinned.
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If a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
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Socrates was asked, I'm a single man, Socrates. Should I marry or not?
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Broken clock's right twice a day. Even unbelievers say things sometimes that are true. Whichever you do, you will repent of it.
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A rabbi said, a young man is like a colt at Winnie's. Single guy.
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He paces up and down. He grooms himself with care. This is because he's looking for a wife. But once married, he resembles a donkey, quite loaded down with burdens.
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The same would be for the ladies, of course. The world is difficult for the
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Corinthians. Are you sure you want to add marriage? And if you'd like to, that's fine. Similarly, he says in verses 29 to 35 for our second consideration.
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Singles who have been redeemed by the blood of Christ respond to their great salvation and their Savior by obedience and consideration to the word.
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Number one, the first consideration is marriage brings extra trouble in tough times.
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So consider singleness. Number two, marriage distracts from spiritual things.
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So singleness might even be better. Marriage distracts from spiritual things. Verses 29 to 35.
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By the way, it's really kind of a neat thing. If I were to preach at another church, I have some speaking engagements coming up,
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I would never pick this passage. Why? Because A, it's difficult, and B, it seems to narrow the scope of things.
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A lot of problems in it in terms of interpretation. But I know you need this. Why? Because all
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Scripture is inspired. And it's all what? It's all profitable. It's all for us. So then once you dig in, you think, yeah, that was right.
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That's good. Paul broadly applies this truth of marriage distracting from spiritual things.
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In verse 29, this is what I mean, brothers. The appointed time has grown very short.
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From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none. Those who mourn as though they were not mourning.
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This is great poetry here. Those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing. Those who buy as even though they had no goods.
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Those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. The present form of this world is passing away.
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He gets specific now. I want you to be free, verse 32, from anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the
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Lord. How to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things. How to please his wife.
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His interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord. How to be holy in body and spirit.
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But the married woman is anxious about worldly things. How to please her husband. I say this to your own benefit.
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Not to lay any restraint or lasso upon you, but to promote good order. And to secure your undivided devotion to the
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Lord. Don't forget that last little part. What's the goal of Paul? Paul is Jesus.
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He's worth it. You can't over exaggerate how great he is. Shouldn't you serve him with all your heart, soul, mind and what?
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Strength. So be careful. Look before you leap. Verse 29.
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The appointed time has grown short. Life is like a vapor. It's here for a little while and then what?
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Vanishes away. Time's short. How do you live when times are short? If it was short for Corinth, how much more for us?
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He uses this poetry. Five examples of poetry. And here's what he does with this poetry. He's going to take eternity and he's going to compress time so you can see it right here before your face.
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When I thought I was going to die, a few months ago, six months ago, I thought, I don't know if I really was or not, but I felt like I wanted to die because I had just so much pain.
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It was interesting because eternity seemed like it was a lot closer. Something bad happened,
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I thought, well, it doesn't really matter if something bad happened, I'm dying. Something good happened, it didn't really matter that much to me because I thought,
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I'm dying. I'd have friends do some really good favor for me or something nice for me. And it just seemed like eternity was right here.
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It was compressed. And Paul now right here in this language, he compresses time so that you don't get caught up in the moment and you think about eternity.
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So you don't reduce your devotion to the Lord. So that you serve Him. And as he does this, he doesn't say, your identity before God is,
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I'm married. Your identity before God is, I'm single. Your identity before God is, you're in Christ. Paul is trying to say with poetry what
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Martin Luther said in a song, Let goods and kindred go, this mortal life also. The body they may kill,
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God's truth abideth still. His kingdom is forever. He kind of moves away from marriage just a little bit to try to say,
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You know what, when you're grieving because you've lost one, You can be so into your mourning, you forget about everything else.
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When you gain things and you accumulate things and you become rich, You can be so involved in your riches, you forget about everything else.
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That's this whole section here. Because eventually he's going to get back to people who say, You know what,
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I so desire to want to be married that it consumes everything else. So Paul uses this great poem to say,
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Christian, don't divert your activities from Christ Jesus. Things possess you, don't let them.
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Money possesses you, don't let it. Mourning can be all engrossing, be careful.
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If you look back at verse 31, For the present form of this world is passing away. Don't get into things that are going to be gone.
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Just think about it, let's just do possessions for a second. Everything you have in your house, in your garage. Everything.
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Burning up. Can't take any of it with you. Paul uses this language here to say,
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Do you know what? Think about eternity. Think about eternity.
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Because, listen, Will you be married in eternity? Probably. You will remember your wife, of course.
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But marriage isn't ultimately significant. Glorifying God is.
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If you're going to spend your life on things that last, Then you don't say to yourself, Yes, but my identity is consumed by I've got to get married.
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No. The Lord's work is at hand. Luther said,
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Behave like guests on the earth, using everything for a short time because of need. Now, thinking of Martha, look at verse 32.
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I want you to be free from anxieties or concern being split. This is the exact word used there in Luke 10.
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The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord. How to please his wife. Men, listen up.
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If you don't have as one of your top goals in your life as pleasing your wife, You should.
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What did you think I was going to say? This is not negative language. This is not, I've got concern about worldly things like my job,
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And, you know, health insurance and a bunch of other things. No, this is, I'm concerned about worldly things because 1
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Timothy 5 says, If I don't care about my own family, then I'm worse than a what? Unbeliever.
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Do married men need to work? Yes. If you can't find a job, then your job is finding a job.
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The Lord knows that. But Paul, I want you to know in verse 32,
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Is not saying, verse 30 rather, Oh, pleasing your wife, that's down on the list to low.
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This is practical and this is theological. Men, when you say, you know, I don't care about my wife.
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I've got other things to do with the Lord and this, that and the other. I'm just going to leave her in the dust. Yes, you have to serve the
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Lord. And yes, it's God and then wife. But if you say, I'm going to just please the
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Lord and I don't care about pleasing my wife, You're going to have a tough marriage. Because if mama ain't happy,
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And you know, here's the great thing, guys. It's going to say the same thing about the wives in just a second.
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And you need to get the new bumper sticker. If daddy ain't happy, nobody's happy. Yes. But it says here for the guy first.
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It just goes with the territory. You say, you know, that woman that I courted and dated and romanced and bribed in my particular case.
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And all these other things. I still want to please her. And as I've studied the passage the last three weeks,
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I thought, Kim wants to do this or that. I think, I want her to be pleased. It's not the ultimate.
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But there's a way that your wife can be pleased in a godly way. And you think, you know what? If I love my wife,
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I love her like I do my own body. I love my own body and I want to love her. So I don't want you to think that this is negative.
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How to please his wife. I can't serve the Lord because I've got to please my wife. Can you please your wife and the
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Lord simultaneously? Absolutely. His point here is what?
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Anxiety or split. See how many times you can count that word. Anxiety is verse 32.
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Anxious, verse 32. Verse 33. Anxious, verse 34. Anxious, verse 34 again.
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Anxious. It's everywhere. And that's exactly what Martha was. Split. Wholly devoted is the goal.
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Single -minded. Stay in your lane and hear for the person who says, You know what? I'm dying to get married.
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I can't be fulfilled unless I am. You've got kind of a why in the road. And Paul says, No, no, no. You think there's a why in the road and you've got to get married.
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You should be saying to yourself, Yes, but while I'm single, I don't have to say, I've got to please my wife. And then
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I have to please the Lord too. You just say, I just please the Lord. The cares of the world.
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Get us off track. Martha was distracted by her preparation, and Jesus rebuked her for being anxious, split -minded, not wholly devoted.
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If you're married, it's just harder. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
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Married people, you can serve the Lord. Please the Lord. It's just harder.
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P .S. If you're a guy and you're on fire for the Lord, and your wife's not where you are, and you're at church seven days a week, you ought to reconsider your thinking.
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If you're a woman and you're all on fire for the Lord, and your husband's not there yet, and you're gone every single night of the week because there's a church function, you ought to reconsider your thinking.
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We want single -minded devotion, and Paul says if you get married, v. 34, your interests are divided.
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Unmarried or betrothed woman, v. 34, is anxious about the things of the Lord. Single -minded. How to be holy in body and spirit.
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Consecrated to God. God, I'm Yours. Use me. Married woman is anxious about worldly things.
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Cooking, cleaning, diapers. This isn't the world evil system. This is just things that happen.
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Groceries. How to please your husband. Women, you ought to please your husbands.
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Queen Elizabeth I said that England was her husband. That's wrong. And with the same attitude, a wife could say, you know what,
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God is my husband, and I'll serve Him full strength, and my husband on earth, he's just going to kind of get left behind.
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So see, singles, this is the kind of stuff that you don't have to worry about. When I do premarital counseling, I always say, you know, are you sure you want to get married?
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Yes. You can just usually see the couples are just kind of drooling with the anticipation of we're going to get married and live the rest of our lives together.
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And then I say, I'm trying to spare you trouble. A man named
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Tom Shuck, he's a missionary in India who served with Sammy for a long time, and Jeremy. He used to live in India by himself in a shack.
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I don't know on how much money a week, but it was like $10 a week. And he just went out and evangelized anybody he could, served the
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Lord 24 -7, and all he needed was a place to sleep and some food. How many hours a day?
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15, 16, 18 hours a day serving the Lord. And then now he's married to a wonderful wife and has a little set of twins.
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And his interests are divided. It's not a bad thing.
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But Paul says, if you're single, go for it. Years ago I got here and they said, we need a singles ministry at BBC.
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And I said, I was a little bit nicer, but maybe not. I can't remember how I said it. You are the singles ministry.
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You know what a singles ministry is? Singles ministering. We married people have nooses around our neck.
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No, that's wrong. Wait, wait. No, no. No. Verse 35.
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I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you. Literally, put a noose on you.
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That was a different person. He's saying to the single people, listen, I'm telling you what's going on, and I want you to know that if you're single, you can serve the
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Lord better. But if you really want to get married, I'm not going to lasso you. I'm not going to hogtie you.
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I won't put a noose around you. Consideration three. Consideration three to blood -bought
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Christians who want to honor Christ Jesus, not to earn favor, but who have been favored by God.
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Number one, marriage brings extra difficulties. Number two, marriage distracts from spiritual things. And number three, if you're a single person and your passions, your sexual passions, are strong and can't be controlled, you need to get married.
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Singleness is good, but it's still okay to get married, especially when you've processed it mentally and you know your body physically.
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This is no different than what Paul says early on. If you're single and you don't have the gift of celibacy, then you should get married, and it's not sinful.
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Verse 36 to 38. Marriage isn't wrong when your passions are strong. Singleness is good, but it's okay to get married.
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If anyone thinks he's not behaving properly towards his betrothed, his passions are strong. It has to be.
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Let him do what he wishes. Let him marry. It's no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity, that's a sexual word there, sexual connotation, but having his desire under control and has determined this in his heart, it's his own decision.
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He knows it. He's considered this to keep her as his betrothed. He will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from his marriage will even do better.
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I'm not going to bog you down with all the details, but here's the scoop. How many people here are reading from the NAS? Still have the
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NAS? Okay. It's different, isn't it? Two major views. There are many views, but the two major views.
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View number one, NAS. You're a dad. You've got a daughter. She's betrothed. You've arranged the marriage.
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There's end times going on. Should you say, Honey, you know what? You ought not to get married because you should serve the
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Lord. We've got a crisis in the land. Days are tough. Wholly divided to the Lord. And you can either decide yes, if your passions are strong, your fiance's passions are strong, you know what, it's okay to get married, or it's okay to break the vow.
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You don't want to really get married. Let's break that vow that you were going to marry someone else. That's the NAS. Almost everybody else in the
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ESV, this is our view here, my view, is what the ESV says. I'm not the dad here.
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I'm the fiance. I'm the male, and it's been arranged that I marry this girl. And if I want to break it off,
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I can because singleness is better at these times. But if I want to get married because I'm struggling with sexual desire, it's okay.
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So you can study on your own, but here the ESV nails it properly, facing a decision whether to get married or not as a fiance to his engaged one, to his betrothed one.
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Paul is going to try to help them make their decision on what to do. If you take just a look at a few of these things,
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I don't want to get bogged down in the details. Like I said, that word necessity has an innuendo of sexual necessity.
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And even the word here, passions are strong, literally over the top. The man's sexual passions are so strong.
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He's already divided now as a single person because instead of wholeheartedly devoting himself to serve the Lord, he's got nine hormones and desires which are good desires,
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God -given desires. It's better to marry than it is to what?
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Burn. But here's what Paul's saying. Not every engagement needs to end in marriage.
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Not every betrothal needs to end in marriage. It's okay if you break that vow. It's not okay if you break it because of reasons outside the text, necessarily, but his focus is on the text in a betrothed society.
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Okay, I'll get your attention this way. If two people are in the church and they begin to date and court and do those kind of things, and they don't get married, don't ever say, oh, that's too bad.
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Oh, I feel so sorry for you. Now, there can be emotions that we would need to massage and to come alongside and it's heartbreaking.
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That's not what I'm saying. But if couples date properly, court properly, are under the supervision of the dad and in public places, etc.,
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things we talked about months ago, and then they realize, you know what? We're not for each other. We're not going to honor the
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Lord by being together in marriage. And you should marry someone else and be more honorable to God. Then what do we say?
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Say hallelujah. And your faces say...
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You're like what? Look it. Establish in his own heart, verse 37, no necessity sexually.
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You're under control. It's okay. You can say no to marriage. Theology matters.
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But if you do, verse 38, so then he who marries his betrothed does well. He who refrains from marriage does even what?
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Good, better, best. Final consideration. There's another group of single people in the church and they're the widows.
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Consideration number four. Widows, remarriage is allowed if the person's a
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Christian, but it might not be the best. Consideration number four.
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It's brief. It's probably not the issue at Corinth, so he just touches upon it lightly. Verse 39 and 40, wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.
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If her husband dies, she's free to be married. If you're a widow and you'd like to be married, you're free.
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But here's just one caveat. Only in the Lord. Goes for everybody else too if you're a
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Christian. Yet, look what Paul does. Very pastoral, very kind.
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When Paul needs to hammer, he hammers, but not here. Yet in my judgment, she is happier if she remains as she is.
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You know, if you're a young widow with children, Paul says in the pastoral epistles, elders, they should get remarried.
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Get remarried so they have somebody to take care of them. But here in the context of a church taking care of widows, 1 Timothy 5, etc.,
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she's happier if she remains as she is. And then Paul says with just kind of a wink in his eye almost, and I think too that I have the
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Spirit of God. I think it's more with a wink than some kind of sarcasm.
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It's my opinion she's happier if she remains as she is. Preaching note, wonderful note.
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Pay attention to this note. To see the text where it says if her husband dies. Oh, that's a horrible translation.
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I know why they did it, but it's horrible. If her husband sleeps. Now why do you think they didn't want to put sleep in there?
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Well, if her husband's sleeping, I told him not to take a nap. If you take one more nap, I'm going to remarry in the Lord. Yeah, but honey,
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I just can't multitask like you can. Never said of an unbeliever who's dead, they're sleeping.
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Only Christians. Why? Because there's the hope of the resurrection unto life.
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There's the hope of the resurrection unto life. If you sleep and you're normal, you'll finally get up.
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Sleep implies waking. Your husband dies, he's a Christian. Guess what's going to happen to your husband one day?
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One day, those here who have buried their husbands or buried their wives, one day, those men and women, if they're
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Christians, you wife that's widowed, or you husband that's a widower, you will pick up your wife's hand again one day and kiss it.
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I'm positive. Because they will be raised, their spirit will be going instantly to God when they die, and then they'll get a new body.
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Those very hands that you kissed on the deathbed will be the hands of the spouse. I know it's not your spouse in heaven, but you'll still be glorifying
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God for that person in heaven. Here's my point. When I go to a funeral and I hear people say about unbelievers, oh, it just looks like he's sleeping.
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I say to myself, it looks like he's sleeping, but unless God did a work in his heart before he died, the only resurrection he can be assured of is a resurrection for a body that will be designed for the torments of the dam forever.
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Oh, but for the Christian widow, look at how pastoral Paul is. But if your husband sleeps, he's dead.
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That's what sleep means. If your husband's sleeping, he's going to wake up one day.
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So if you want to get married, marry in the Lord. Marry somebody else. If you don't want to marry, that's okay.
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You're going to be happy. Isn't that neat? Sleep. Hope of the resurrection.
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Paul's spirit inspired. So what did we learn today?
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Here's what we learned. Sometimes the good thing, marriage, isn't the best.
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Singleness could even be better. It goes to say that if you're going to try to get a new job,
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I don't know how many people have done this, I think I can make $40 ,000 more if I get that new job. And then what?
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And then you've got to work 40 % longer and you're working 16 hours a day for the man and you're not pleasing your wife and you're not pleasing the
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Lord. I can tell you right from the bat and I'm not even a prophet. That's not a good deal. When Paul takes this passage and scrunches eternity up to your face, you're not going to be going,
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I've got to grab all these things. Money's not the problem. It's the human heart that says, I've got to possess it and be possessed by it.
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And so Paul says, just let everything go. And if you're going to let everything go to serve the Lord, then you might even have to let go of the idea of getting married.
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Oh, I've got to get married. I've got to get married. I've got to get married. I know people, maybe some even in this church, not after today, but in the past.
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That wasn't supposed to be funny. Their identity is wrapped up in they want to get married.
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And you think you go through the list, you pray for people and you get to a certain person's name and you go, I better pray for a spouse for them.
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I understand that. And then you go, it's easy for you to say, you have a gorgeous wife. Matter of fact,
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I do. But it's easy for me to say because I think I too have the Spirit. Not like Paul did, but I'm reading the text in terms of that Spirit.
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And he says, you know what? If you are single, burn out for the glory of God with wholehearted devotion to serve
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Him. And if you've got a desire to get married and even a physical desire, God can be trusted.
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If He saves you, can He be trusted to give you a spouse? So if you're a dad and you've got kids and they're about ready to be old enough to be dating, courting, betrothing, extolling or whatever, all these things that people do, your job is,
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A, to help protect your daughter and your son from marrying wrongly, but it's also to help them positively say, use that energy you have now to serve the
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Lord. Where are the Jim Elliott's in our church? Fifteen years old, sold out for God and could care less about everything else.
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Where are the Mary Slessors? Fourteen years old, I don't care about anything else. Where are those young people?
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And it is the dad's responsibility and the mom's responsibility to come alongside of those young ones and then it's our responsibility to say, yeah, that's exactly right.
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This is what you do. And young people, it's your responsibility to do it. Why? Because you can do it on your own?
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No, because you've been given the Spirit of God. It has nothing to do with Caleb Johanson, but I baptized him last week and here's what
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I want you to pray for him. That he is going to flame out for the glory of Christ. He's just going to spiral off.
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We're all going to just sit back and go, what is wrong with that kid? But in the right way.
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And here we go. People are like, well, you know, we don't do youth ministries and family integrated is what we do.
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That's all a bunch of hogwash. Here's what we do at the youth ministry. The youth ministry will teach these kids this exact same thing.
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Wholehearted devotion for God. Wasting all this time at eighteen years old wanting to get married when there's something that the best is right now.
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Because one day you're going to sleep. And then what? Alright. This is fun.
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Father, how great it is that you address the married, the divorced, the widows, the singles, the dads, the moms.
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How could you do this two thousand years ago knowing that your word would be just as relevant today as it was then?
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You're a great God. Help our church to live these things out. I pray for the singles here that are under necessity.
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I pray that you'd grant them a spouse. Father, but I pray that you'd grant them a spouse as they are wholly devoted in their service to you.
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Pleasing only you. And then you'd give them their heart's desire. Father, for the widows here,
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I pray that you would be close to them. Thankful for their spouses and how faithful you were.
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And then now you can still be their husband. You can still be the one who's there all in all.
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Father, for Bethlehem Bible Church, for everyone, would you help us say no to sin and yes to being sold out for Jesus Christ more and more.
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Proclaiming His goodness. We can never over -exaggerate how great you are,