Effeminate Men Need to Learn to Act Like Men...Right?

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All right, so let's talk about this tweet of mine. Oh man, so this tweet got a lot of engagement, way more than most of my tweets.

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In fact, I don't know how to really even look at this stuff, so if you guys do, maybe you can tell me the truth, but I believe that probably this tweet has gotten more engagement than any tweet

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I've ever tweeted in my entire existence on Twitter. Now, I don't have a ton of followers, but this tweet got 138 likes and about 56, looks like, comments, and many of those comments were offering some level of pushback.

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Some of it was kind of lame, some of it was actually pretty good, but I think it's worth talking about because I've kind of hit on something that obviously people care about.

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A lot of people agree, a lot of people disagree. I don't think any of my tweets have divided people up more so than this one, and honestly,

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I don't think I could have worded this tweet any better. I picked words that come straight out of the

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Bible, and I don't really think that my tweet is very controversial, assuming that you accept that I'm using the terms according to biblical standards.

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Now, a lot of people were asking for definitions of the words that I was using, which doesn't usually happen when

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I tweet, but it happened a lot here. Some of those calls for definition were legitimate, seemed pretty honest to me, and some of them were just attempts to zing me, which

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I will not indulge, so good luck with all that. But one of the things

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I think that some of those questions reveal is that we need to talk about this a lot more, and I have some recommended resources for you at the end of this video, so go ahead and watch all the way through if you want to talk about the concepts of femininity and masculinity and what it looks like to be an effeminate man so that you can not be an effeminate man because the scripture says in 1

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Corinthians chapter 6, let's go ahead and read this, actually it was, yes, it is chapter 6, hold on a second here.

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This is from 1 Corinthians chapter 6, it's the King James version, I could have also picked the New American Standard or a few other versions as well because they all pretty much say the same thing, but I used the

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King James because this is the most popular translation ever in the history of mankind, at least

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I think that's true. Anyway, know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

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So this is a list, Paul's about to provide us a list of what the unrighteous people that will not inherit the kingdom of God, this is serious stuff, this is serious stuff, ready?

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Be not deceived, neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor effeminate nor abusers of themselves with mankind nor thieves nor covetous nor drunkards nor revilers nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God.

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I could not have picked a safer word, effeminate, Paul clearly says in the

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King James version of the Bible, also in NASB, a few other versions as well, it's the English translation, remember.

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He says clearly, the effeminate will not inherit the kingdom of God. So I picked a very safe topic in my opinion.

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So here's what I said, I said effeminate men should be church disciplined to act like men. Okay, that's the first sentence, or the first part of the sentence, the effeminate men, which according to Paul, they're unrighteous men because they're effeminate, should be church disciplined to act like men.

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And act like men, that's another phrase I lifted directly from the Bible. This is 1 Corinthians 16, this is the

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New American Standard version. Here's what it says, 1 Corinthians 16, verse 13, be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

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Okay, so these are two phrases that I could not have been safer with because I pick them, I'm a Christian, I tweet about Christian things all the time,

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I'm putting forward Bible verses, I'm putting forward what I think is good theology. And so obviously, the context of this tweet,

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I'm talking about the Bible here, I pick these terms very carefully. So here's what I said, effeminate men should be church disciplined to act like men.

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I don't think anyone should disagree with that. It goes on, leading to excommunication after a lack of repentance is demonstrated over time.

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Okay, so I could not be more careful of how I chose this word. If you're an effeminate man and you're in a church, you should be taught to act like a man.

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If you refuse over time and you refuse to repent of your effeminate ways, you should be excommunicated because the church should teach that effeminate men will not inherit the kingdom of God.

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This is really not a controversial tweet, unless you're thinking at the outset that I'm defining effeminate men in a way that is inappropriate.

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And I think some people did assume that because they don't like me, that's fine. But you have to understand that I pick these words very carefully, they're biblical words, we need to understand what they mean, because at the end of the day, if you are effeminate, you really ought to know that so that you can no longer be effeminate because effeminate men do not inherit the kingdom of God.

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Neither do drunkards. You see, I could have written this tweet about drunkards, I could have said drunkards should be church disciplined to not be a drunkard anymore, leading to excommunication after a lack of repentance is demonstrated over time.

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I could also have picked a word that's a sin that's not in this list. I could have said the same thing about gluttony, right?

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Gluttons should be church disciplined to no longer be gluttons, leading to excommunication after a lack of repentance is demonstrated over time.

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How much do you want to bet that if I had said either of those things, I probably would have had not a single person saying, well, how do you define drunkard?

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How do you define glutton? How much do you want to bet? Nobody would have said that.

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Nobody would have said that. And you know what? Someone might say, well, it's easier to define glutton or drunkard than it is to define effeminate.

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No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not easier. It's about the same easiness, because here's the thing.

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What effeminacy and gluttony and being a drunkard have in common is that we absolutely know it when we see it, but it's hard to put a list of do's and don'ts.

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So in other words, if I have three beers at dinner tonight, am I a drunkard? If I have three beers at dinner tonight, am

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I a drunkard? Or if I have a beer every night, one beer every day with dinner, am I a drunkard?

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To some people, the answer would be yes. To other people, the answer would be no. But I think it would be obvious if you sat, if you spent time with me, if I was a drunkard or not.

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Am I taken to alcohol? Am I letting alcohol affect my relationships? Am I letting alcohol affect my judgment?

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Things like that. Like, it's very easy to see it when you see it. But to say, well, is one or two beers the line?

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Or is three beers the line? Or is three beers a week the line? Or something like that. It's not quite as easy as a list of do's and don'ts, is it?

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Same thing with gluttony. Am I a glutton if I have meat every day? I mean, some people might say so.

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Some people might say so. Am I a glutton if I have meat with my meals every day? The Bible talks about gluttonous eaters of meat, right?

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Or am I a glutton if I have dessert every day, which, you know, I don't have dessert anymore every day because I'm keto.

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But I used to. So was I a glutton back then? Well, I don't know. I mean, the reality is that if you spent time with me and you knew me, you would know if I was a glutton or not.

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My pastor should know whether or not I'm a glutton. And so the answer is, even though we might not be able to define it, like it's not like, you know,

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I can't tell you, well, you can have one Twinkie, but you can't have a Ho -Ho as well, and then you're a glutton. Like, you can't give me a list of do's and don'ts.

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We kind of know it when we see it. But, you see, with effeminacy, there actually is quite a lot of talk in the

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Bible about what it is to act like a man. So no, there's probably less talk about what defines a glutton or what defines a drunkard than there is about what defines a man.

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So it's not like that. You see what I'm saying? Now, let me just, before I continue, all of the pushback wasn't, you know, attempting to zing me.

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Not all of the pushback was disingenuous. Here's a good example. I don't think that this was bad pushback. I think this was good pushback.

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This is a guy named Jason who responds to some of my stuff a lot, and we, you know, oftentimes we agree. And it seems like we agree here, but he wants to be careful, which

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I think is fair. Because I honestly do believe, and I've talked to many people who believe the same with me, that we've kind of neglected this area of being a masculine person as a man or being a feminine person as a woman.

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Like, we've neglected what that means biblically, really what it means to our core. How were we created to be men and women?

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What does that look like? We've neglected it. And I think I've been programmed in many ways to act like a woman, even though I'm a man.

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And some people have told me that's godly. I think a lot of us have, if we really think about it. Anyway, sorry about that.

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My kids came in there for a second. By the way, I've got three sons, or as I like to call them, future men.

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And some of my critics were talking ridiculous stuff, like, oh, I guess if you like the color pink, you're not a Christian.

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I'll tell you right now, both of my sons, or my older ones that can talk, they both have told me their favorite color is pink at various times in their life.

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And guess what? I did not discourage that. Pink is a completely adequate color.

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And I would not dress them in pink, but hey, you know, I'm not that progressive. But anyway, here's some good pushback.

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He says, okay, I want to be with you in this. Good for him, because you can't really not be with me on this.

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If the Bible says effeminate men don't inherit the kingdom of God, but you allow effeminate men in your church and don't discipline them and teach them how to act like men, eventually leading to excommunication, if they refuse to repent, then you've got problems.

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You've got problems. Anyway, he goes, I want to be with you in this, but you're going to have to define effeminate. For example,

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I don't like guns. I rather enjoy baking. I like musicals. And when my daughter is feeling down or upset, I let her paint my nails.

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It helps her. So here's the thing. It sounds to me like this guy has had some really bad,

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I don't know if it was advice or he's heard very bad teaching about what being a man is.

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Being a man doesn't mean you have to like guns. Being a man doesn't mean you have to spurn baking if you enjoy baking.

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Being a man doesn't mean you have to not like musicals. I even tweeted at him, I love musicals. Musicals are great.

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I've never watched a musical I didn't like in person. I think there's been a number of movies that I didn't like, but in live, in a playhouse kind of thing.

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I watched Guys and Dolls a couple of years ago. Guys and Dolls, man. I remember always thinking that sounds so lame, and I watched it and it was awesome.

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Guys and Dolls is a good one. Anyway, it seems like what

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Jason's saying here confirms what I think is really true, that we need to have real teaching on what being a man is.

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And I gave him an example. All the people that have been asking, well, you haven't given us a definition. I'm not going to indulge you with a list of do's and don'ts.

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That's not how it works. But I've even given good examples of what I was talking about here, and I used one of Jason's things here.

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I said, look, the fact that you don't like guns, not a problem. Nobody has an issue with you not liking guns.

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But if you refuse to defend and protect your family, or be prepared to defend and protect your family, then you're not acting like a man, and you need to repent of that.

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Whether or not you choose to use a gun to do it, that's up to you. A lot of people choose to have a gun because it makes it easier.

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It's a good equalizer. You could probably fight off more people with a gun than without them. But if you choose to not do it with a gun, that's not necessarily unmanly, but the refusal to be prepared to protect your family, that is being effeminate, and that's something that you should repent of.

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If you say, well, you know, someone else will protect me. I'll call the police if, you know, that's not it.

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You can call the police if you'd like, that's not a problem, but you also need to be prepared to do it yourself as well if necessary.

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You need to be prepared to do it. And so if you refuse to prepare yourself to defend your family if you need to, if you refuse to actually defend them when the time comes,

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I know there's a lot of Christians out there that say, well, if someone was coming after my kids or raping my wife,

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I wouldn't attack them because violence is unchristian. I wouldn't defend my wife. I would just try to talk them out of it and hope that God would provide that I could reach his heart and he wouldn't rape my wife.

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Like, if that's you, you need to repent of being effeminate, okay? So that's an example of what

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I'm talking about, you know? And the thing is, again, you know, Bible has a lot to say about what being a man is.

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In fact, we can go to like 1 Timothy. We can go to the Old Testament code. It talks a lot about this as well.

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All this kind of stuff, it has a lot to say, but it's not like a list of do's and don'ts.

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Another example, people were saying, well, I guess if I have a lisp, I'm not a Christian. And again, this is another perfect example to use because it's really not about the lisp.

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It's about the why. It's about why are you speaking with a lisp? Because some people have a lisp and they just have always had it and they're not trying to signal anything through it.

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But lots of people who speak with a lisp are trying to signal passivity, are trying to signal homosexuality.

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So, you know, if you've ever talked to a homosexual, sometimes they'll speak with a lisp on purpose to throw up a flag.

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And if you talk to people who, you know, to people who've come out of that lifestyle, they'll admit this. This is something that they absolutely did.

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So it's about the why. Are you trying to project womanly traits with your lisp?

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Then it's a problem. Do you just have a lisp and that's how you've always talked and, you know, you don't know how to untrain yourself to do it?

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That's different. You see, it's not always about the reason. It's not always about the thing itself. It's about the why.

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And I think, you know, one of the things that we, one of the ways that we can really see this in action is in prison, right?

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I don't know about you guys, but I have, you know, over the years had a bit of a guilty pleasure where I'll watch prison shows.

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Like there was, you know, Locked Up, you know, on National Geographic, you know, prison movies as well.

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I used to watch a lot of prison movies. And actually now on YouTube, there's a lot of people who are ex -prisoners who have like shows and tell you about how prison really is and things like that.

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And prison is a topic I'm interested in because I think prisons and prison sentences are evil.

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I think I don't, you don't see prison sentences in the Bible. God's law doesn't have any prison sentences.

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Like you don't, you know, you don't go in a penitentiary, you know, get locked up in a cage for 20 years as a punishment for breaking the law in God's economy.

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That just doesn't exist because it's evil. It's evil. And it doesn't treat them, it doesn't treat prisoners with respect.

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It doesn't give them, it doesn't treat them as image bearers essentially. I think prisons are evil. So I'm interested in the topic of prison and I watch, you know, stuff like this to sort of inform me about what prison is like and things like that.

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Now if we all, you know, if we're honest with ourselves, we all kind of fear going to prison for a variety of different reasons.

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And one, one reason that people fear going to prison is because of the movie Shawshank Redemption, Shawshank Redemption, right?

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And Shawshank Redemption is interesting, but, but like, so one of the most hard to watch things in Shawshank Redemption is the, the characters, the sisters, right?

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And the sisters are homosexuals that basically go around raping people and they, that's what they do to, to the, the main character.

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They beat them up and they rape him and things like that. And, and that's something that we fear, you know, being, being made someone's woman kind of thing.

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And the reality is that if you watch modern day prison shows or modern day prison, you know,

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YouTube channels and things like that, it actually doesn't happen like that anymore. I'm sure prison rapes still do happen from time to time, but more so, more often than not, people who are made to be someone's wife, quote unquote, it doesn't happen through rape.

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It doesn't happen through that kind of thing. It happens through manipulation. It happens through manipulation. And so what, what, what

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I mean by that is you'll get, you'll get someone that'll, that'll offer you protection, right?

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And you go into jail and prison and you're scared because man, it's a scary thing. Anyone who says they go to prison and they're not scared is a liar.

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Essentially. It's a scary, scary thing. And so you'll get someone on your first day or second day and they'll say,

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Hey man, you know, like I'll show you the ropes kind of thing. You know, I'll, I'll take you under my wing. You know, it's obvious you haven't been in prison before.

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You're like, okay, you think, you think you're making a friend and stuff like that. And someone will offer you like,

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I don't know, they'll offer you food or they'll offer you free things, or they'll say, Hey man, you know, like it's tough in here, man.

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There's a lot of gangs. There's a lot of people like, look, I, I, you know, I'll watch your back, man. I'll watch your back. I've been here a long time and they'll offer you protection.

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Right. And then through that, they're, they're, they kind of manipulate you into being their partner, essentially being someone that they protect.

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They offer protection and they take care of you, but you know, you got to provide for them as well, if you know what I mean. And so this idea of, of becoming a woman in prison,

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I mean, see what happens in prison is that oftentimes they'll dress like women. They'll act like women. They'll have mannerisms like women.

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You know, they'll, they'll, they'll do things that women typically do. They'll act like a woman. And it all starts with this desire for someone to protect you and things like that.

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So when we, when we look in prison and we see prisoners acting like women, dressing like women, we might understand more because they're in a stressful situation.

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We might say, well, I understand, I get it. You know, I feel bad for them, you know, things like that. But that's obviously acting effeminate, right?

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That's obviously acting in an effeminate way. And so we know that as Christians, we shouldn't act that way. We shouldn't act like women.

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Okay. And so, so here's the, here's another example of this kind of thing. So what, what, what are some of the traits of, of a man?

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Right. A lot of people were offering on the threads on Twitter, different things that, that the Bible says men should be.

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Men should be protectors of their, of their families, protectors of women. Men should be providers for their family.

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In fact, the scripture says that men who don't provide for their own are worse than unbelievers. In other words, effeminate men are worse than unbelievers.

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Okay. We're defining these things biblically here. I'm not saying men who like musicals are, are, should be excommunicated.

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I'm not saying men who enjoy baking should be excommunicated because you could be an absolutely epic baker, provide, you know, bake to such a degree that you can provide, you know, a life for your family.

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And that is completely manly. There's nothing wrong with baking. There's nothing wrong with having artistic flair in your baking, because that can be something that's

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God honoring, that glorifies God, that provides for your family, that protects your family's financial future and things like that.

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See these ideas of like, well, I guess if I, if I like, you know, I guess I'm not a man.

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Well, I mean, look, if that's how you want to answer, you want to answer with a little bit of sarcasm and just kind of a little bit of, of ridiculousness saying things that, that I've never said and trying to put that on me, that kind of says a lot about you.

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It really does. It really says a lot about you. But the reality is though, that when Paul says that a man who doesn't provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever, he might as well have said effeminate men are worse than unbelievers.

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But see, here's the, here's the thing though. So here's an example of an effeminate trait in a man. You ready?

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You thought you liked that? You thought you didn't like that tweet? Well, wait till you get a load of this. Men who don't want to work and instead advocate for a government to take care of them.

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So in other words, men who don't want to earn it for themselves and want welfare and want other people to pay for their stuff and want money that they never earned, things like that.

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They want reparations for, for slavery that they never endured and all this kind of stuff. They want to, to take, extract money from people that they never earned themselves.

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That's effeminate. That's effeminate because they want protection. That's like, that's like the guy in prison who just wants

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Bubba to protect him. You know what I mean? That's like the guy in prison who just wants a big

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Tony to protect him. You know what I'm saying? I want to be taken care of. I want to be provided for.

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I don't want to do it for myself. That's effeminate. How do you like that?

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A man who, who, who advocates for that kind of thing, for the government to take care of him and is unwilling to work for themselves, unwilling to work for themselves.

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I'm not talking about incapable. I'm talking about unwilling to work for themselves and earn it for themselves and provide for their own.

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Paul says you're worse than an unbeliever. I agree with Paul, but I'll also say that's effeminate and you better repent of that.

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You better be taught to act like a man and provide for your own. This doesn't mean people who need a little help are effeminate.

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That's not what I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying, but I'm saying people who act and advocate in such a way that they don't want to do, they don't want to work for it.

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They want to get the stuff for free. They want to be taken care of by nanny state, things like that. That's effeminate and you need to be trained to not act that way.

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So anyway, yeah, hopefully, hopefully that clears it up. But, but, but here's the thing. So people want to know, like, okay, what's the definition of, of, uh, of effeminate and things like that.

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There's a lot of people out there that are way better at this than I am. I'll recommend to you the blog, how to be a man.

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He's here on Twitter. And he's, uh, and it's two guys, it's two guys that do it.

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They're on Twitter and they're online. I think they do a podcast as well. It's good to be a man. Go ahead and go ahead and watch it.

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I recommend to you, Aaron Wren, the masculinist. I recommend to you that kind of stuff. I recommend to you, Doug Wilson.

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This is the guy that everyone hates. In fact, I think a lot of the, the, the vitriol that came to, to me about this tweet has really more to do with Doug Wilson than it has to do with me because I'm associated with, you know, the cross policy guys and all that kind of stuff.

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I'm cool with that. Go ahead. Um, there's actually some other people that I, I can recommend that I, I'm not sure if I'm able to, at this point,

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I don't know if there, a lot of their stuff is public, but, but, but interesting, interesting things. Anyway, yeah, go to that stuff.

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You're not going to get a list of do's and don'ts from them. You know, you're not going to get a whole, you know, uh, you know, kind of litany of things.

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It's, it's, it's not about that. It's, it's deeper than that kind of stuff. Um, and, and the reality is that we better figure this one out.

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We better figure this one out. All you people who are asking for a definition, I'm just going to assume that, uh, all of you were, were honestly asking for a definition.

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Well, you better go to your pastor and figure this one out because if you are feminine, you don't know it. That, that's something that needs to be repented of.

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You know what I mean? That's something that needs to be put to death. The effeminacy that you have, you need to put it to death. You need to get to work on it right now because Paul says that the effeminate will not inherit the kingdom of God.

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Paul says you need to act like a man. So, so you better figure it out, whatever it means. Again, I chose my words very carefully.

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I said effeminate men should be church discipline. There's no way to argue that as long as you assume that I'm talking about effeminate according to biblical standards.

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Church discipline to act like men. There's no way you could disagree with that. You better act like a man because Paul says so in the scriptures.

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Leading to excommunication after a lack of repentance is demonstrated over time. I don't see any way that you could disagree with this tweet and consider yourself a consistent

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Christian. I just don't see it. Anyway, I hope this was helpful. God bless. Look, at the end of the day,

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I know I've kind of said a couple of times this is not about a list of do's and don'ts, but there is some practical sort of wisdom you can apply to various things.

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Like I said earlier, you know, it's not really about if you have a weak handshake, it's about why you have a weak handshake. Are you trying to, are you trying to be passive by having a weak handshake?

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Is that something you're intentionally doing? And things like that. Like it's just, there's no, a lot of the rules, so quote unquote, that we would have, it really depends on the motivation.

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It really depends on a lot of different factors. But there is a lot of things that we could cover in terms of general principles from the

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Bible. Like I said, many times that we should talk about. So I do intend to do more videos about this and explain myself further and hopefully better define things.

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But I really do want to encourage you though, if you, if you responded to me, like we need to define these things or what's the definition of these things.

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And I want to encourage you, if you really don't know what the definition is that you really should get to work finding out, especially if you're a man, you should really get to work what acting like a man is according to the

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Bible, because it's important. It's very, very important. In fact, I think if we figured this stuff out, if as a church, we were more masculine, in other words, the men were more masculine in the church.

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A lot of the problems that I talk about, like the social justice stuff and all that, it would, it would, it would solve itself.

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It would solve itself. I wouldn't have to discuss it as much as I do. So anyway, I encourage you to look into some of the resources

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I gave you. And again, I do plan on going into this further in more episodes, but I want to leave you with this.

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If I, if my tweet, which again, it's very not, it's not debatable at all. If you believe the

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Bible is true, you should believe this tweet. Assuming that I'm defining things biblically, but if this tweet just sort of kind of rubs you the wrong way, or you get a kind of a visceral reaction to it, the idea, the very idea that something could be effeminate or someone could not act like a man in a way that's morally and ethically a problem for them, a sinful.

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So in other words, if you, if you bristle at the very idea that there's a way men should act and not acting in that way is sinful,

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I think you need to do some soul searching and some self -reflection about why is it that I have this visceral reaction to the idea of an effeminate man being something that's morally blameworthy?

25:51

Because there's no way to deny that. According to scripture, you should act like a man. And there is a certain way to act like a man.

25:57

You should be cultivating that in yourself all the time. Anyway, I hope this is helpful.