Preparing for Family Worship

This sermon is from Grace Fellowship Church in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. To access other sermons or to learn more about us, please visit our website at graceedmonton .ca.

Well, we're here again, and you're probably wondering, if you didn't hear last week's announcement, what are we going to do between 1 Corinthians 16 and the end of that chapter that we've been working on, or that book that we've been working on for the last number of weeks, and now moving into the book of the Gospel of Mark in the next couple of weeks.

The Biblical Mandate for Family Worship

But before we do that, we thought that this would be an excellent and opportune time to take a couple of weeks from our normal sequential study through the books of the Bible and take some time to consider, both to consider and to commend, the biblical practice of family worship.

That is, the practice of families worshiping God together in their homes every day. And you've heard us speak over the last number of months, I'm sure at least once, about our growing concern, or maybe our continued concern for the souls of the children in this room.

That God has blessed us, really and truly blessed us with families, with little children, or perhaps with a husband or a wife, or with even brothers or sisters. I think about the siblings that live together too in this room.

And so what we thought best, if we wanted to address the children and really the spiritual welfare of the families in this congregation, one of the best ways to do that is probably not to offer amazing children's ministries, as good as those might be in their rightful place, but to equip the families to prepare the parents, even to prepare husbands in their relationship with their wives, or even older brothers in relationship to their siblings, or even younger siblings in relation to their older siblings, we could even say, to lead one another in worship.

And as I was studying this, I sent a text message to Steve and I said, Brother, pray for me. I am having such a difficult time. Not because this is a hard topic, but because I had an impossible time just putting together an introduction for all of this.

And the reason for that is this, that for many of us, we're acquainted with the concept of family worship. This idea that families are to meet together on a daily basis to worship God and to hear from the Word of God and to pray and to sing.

But I'm also mindful that there are many people who have, maybe people in this room, who have never heard of this idea of family worship. And I think that if we were to go to the average person in the average ordinary church and ask them, do you engage in family worship?

Many people would look at us with blank stares. And I think that I know the reason for this. It's because I think we live in a day, and we live in the midst of a Christian culture that has outsourced worship.

That we attend a place where professional musicians and paid facilitators of worship lead the people in worship, or even more aptly, serve the people worship to consume.

A worship experience.

And so for many Christians today, worship is a consumable, not necessarily an activity or a passion or a calling or a way of life. And many people simply do not think of worship and discipleship as activities that really, really truly meaningfully and intentionally are engaged in on any day of the week other than Sunday, or in any place other than within the four walls of the church.

So in many ways, family worship has grown out of vogue. And yet, because of this one-dimensional view of worship, many of our families, I think about this, many of the families that are in the greater evangelical world, and many of the children in that world have been denied the opportunity, and it's an opportunity, make no mistake, have been denied the opportunity to worship God and to be discipled, not just on Sundays when the church meets together, but every other day of the week in their homes and amongst their families.

And as a result of this, we see, I think, the effects of that, even within the greater evangelical world, that Christian families are raising children who are biblically illiterate, that you can ask an 18-year-old to explain just the basics of the gospel, and they are unable to do that.

They might know the story of Noah and the ark, or they might know some New Testament story about the apostle Paul, but they can't tell you why Jesus came to the world and died on the cross. And not only that, but then we see families that are fragmented and that have no grounding in the gospel.

We see marriages that don't reflect the gospel of Christ. We see the daily practices of families that don't reflect the word of God. And so for today's purposes, this is all I have in mind to do. This is my one goal, is I want to demonstrate from God's word.

I want to bring that to each of you. I want to demonstrate that the practice of family worship, whether that's with parents and children, or with husbands and their wives, or with siblings who live together, the practice of family worship is a thoroughly biblical practice.

And not only that, I want to convey to each of you, if you get only one thing, and children, if you get only one thing from what I say today, I want to convey this, that God is worthy of your worship.

He is worthy of your worship individually, and He's worthy of your worship as a family. And He's worthy of your worship on Sundays, but He's also worthy of your worship on every other day of the week.

And so I'm going to do this to the best of my ability to convey that. And then with the time that we have, with the limited time that we have, I want to get really practical. And I just want to give us some basic tools.

I want to equip principally the men, but also the women, to pursue this practice of family worship, to engage in this good, worthwhile, and necessary duty and privilege that is family worship. So that's our plan for today.

And I admit right at the onset, this is going to be a very different message than what we're normally used to hearing because we're not going to work out of one particular text. We know that we usually have a home base.

We believe in expository preaching. We will do that, and we will continue to do that. But for today, we're going to be a little bit more topical, and we're going to get very practical. What I would really like is for people to leave here, moved to worship with their families, moved to worship with their wives or with their husbands, moved to worship with their siblings, and then with the tools to do that.

And I acknowledge at the onset, I need to give credit where credit is due. I've benefited greatly from the writing ministry of people like Joel Beeky. You hear me quote Joel Beeky often, Donald Whitney, Scott Brown, and a couple others.

And I've really leaned on some of their books for some of this good, wise pastoral advice. So if you read some of their books and you say, hey, Shane said that, it's probably because I read it there at some point too.

So I give them that credit. And we do have some of those books coming. They were meant to be here probably right about now, except Canada Post has held them up somewhere, somewhere between Michigan, Reformation Heritage Books, and here.

So they're in the mail. They'll probably be here next week. And so I'm going to mention some books along the way, and I would encourage you, come back next week, ask for those books. Please take some of those books.

If you're really zealous, I have one remaining book here, and I will give that to you, Family Worship by Joel Beeky. So I wanted to have a short introduction. I didn't have that at all. But let's get a look at some of these texts.

So the very first thing, and you can follow along in our bulletin, is this. The very first thing that I want to demonstrate from God's Word, from taking a sampling of God's Word, is this. The biblical mandate.

The biblical mandate for family worship. Now there are some people somewhere that might very well argue that by commending family worship, like we are in this church today, and even from preaching on family worship from the pulpit, we are somehow imposing an extra biblical practice upon God's people, that they were somehow adding a burden to the backs of busy men and women, or busy husbands and wives, or busy parents.

And what I want us to observe, in contrast to that view, is that if we are prepared to see this practice worked out in Scripture, we're going to quickly recognize that the practice of a man leading his family in worship regularly, even daily, is thoroughly biblical.

We're going to recognize that there is a mandate for men to lead their wives, or even women maybe that they are courting, I'm thinking of you brother, in the practice of family worship, or at least worship of some kind.

There is a mandate, a biblical mandate, for family worship. And so what we're going to do is we're going to survey some of the pages of Scripture to see that family worship is both modeled in Scripture and that it's commanded.

And not just Old Testament, but Old Testament and New. And so I'll have us open our Bibles to Genesis chapter 18. We are going to get to Joshua chapter 24, but not just yet. Genesis chapter 18 and verse 17.

In this account, the Lord appeared to Abraham by the oaks of Mamre, and there he again promised Abraham that he would give him a son. He promised him that he would give him a son, and just before God left Abraham to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah.

This is what we read. These are some words that the Lord God said to Abraham. Genesis 18, 17. The Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him.

For I have chosen him. Many people... Excuse me. For I have chosen him. That was a note to myself. Many people stopped paying attention here. That God gave a promise to Abraham that he was going to give him a son.

But it continues. For I have chosen him, God said, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring Abraham what he has promised to him.

So here God speaks to Abraham. And he says, I'm going to give you children. And as we've already recognized, children are a heritage from the Lord. They're a blessing. Psalm 127 calls them a reward. If you're holding a child in your arms, or if you have a child seated next to you or on your lap, that child is a heritage from the Lord.

And the same promise was given to Abraham. But what does he say here? He says, I have chosen you. You're going to have this child. And what are one of the main functions? You're going to carry out in the life of this child that Abraham may command his children and his household, his family after him to keep the way of the Lord.

Now keep in mind, men, women, that this was before there was a tabernacle. This was before there was a temple. This was before there were Jewish synagogues. And so the only way that Abraham could disciple his children and command his household after him was to lead them and to teach them at home.

It was a family discipleship model. And here God expected that Abraham would not only have children, but that he would lead them in the ways of God. If we fast forward a little bit to the book of Deuteronomy, in Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse 4, we read that famous command from God to the Israelites who are about to enter into that promised land.

That book of Deuteronomy essentially is a sermon from Moses to the nation. And there in Deuteronomy chapter 6 and verse 4, speaking on behalf of God, Abraham says this. He says, Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.

We know this, don't we? You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all of your soul and with all of your mind. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. The people were to remember God's word.

They were to obey him. But that wasn't all. Moses continues. He says, You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise.

So here we see that the men of Israel, the people of Israel, they were going to bring their families into the promised land. You can picture the children crossing the Jordan on dry ground. We don't read a whole lot about them, but they were there and they were there with their families.

And what God says is this. He gives them the Ten Commandments. He gives them the great commandment. Love the Lord your God. Yes, absolutely. Listen to that. Do it. But then he says, And you shall teach it to your children.

The very next step. It's to adopt it. It's to understand it. It's to obey it. And then it's to pass it along to your children. And notice he doesn't say this is a one-time event. He doesn't say, Teach it to your children once.

But he says, You shall teach them diligently when you sit in your home, when you walk, when you lie down, and when you rise up. It's literally every day, perhaps even multiple times per day. God says, When you sit in your house, when you're with your family, when you're coming and going, when you wake up at breakfast and before you go to bed, tell them the things of God.

In the book of Job, if we fast forward even a bit more to Job chapter 1 and verse 1.

This is interesting.

Kids, does anyone know who is the most righteous man in Job's generation? Does anyone know the answer to that question? The most righteous man, the most holy man in the whole world at that time. Job chapter 1 and verse 1 says that it was Job.

So Job 1 .1, There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. And who among us wouldn't want to be described in this kind of language?

What a description. A man who was blameless and upright, who feared God and turned away from evil. But what I find fascinating, when we look at who Job was and the description that we get of him, is that in verse 2, we hear a little bit about his children.

In verse 3, we hear about his possessions, his livestock. And then we get a qualifier. What made Job so righteous? What made Job holy and upright and a God-fearing man? Job 1 verse 4 says, Job's sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each on his day.

Maybe that was a birthday. Maybe that was some kind of festival. And they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them.

And he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, It may be that my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts. Thus Job did.

Once?

Thus Job did continually. And so here we have one of the most upright characteristics of Joel. This righteous and this blameless man is this. That he acted as a kind of under-shepherd. And even some commentators would say as a priest of his family.

He was attuned to the activities of his family. He knew when his children were coming and going. He knew when they were having their gatherings. He prayed for them. But not only did he pray for them, but he prayed over them.

He consecrated them. He prayed with them. He made confession, atonement for their sins by sacrifice. And he did this continually. And what we see, I'm just giving us a sampling, but what we would see if we went through the entire Old Testament is that we see family worship either fully commended, commanded, or we see it modeled by righteous men or even some righteous women.

And so we read in passages like Psalm 78. We didn't plan this, brother. You pick that verse. But Psalm 78 verses 2 to 4. Asaph, who is one of the leaders of the music, who was appointed by King David, he writes there, I will open my mouth in a parable.

I will utter dark sayings from old things that we have heard and known that our fathers have told us we will not hide them from our children, but tell to the coming generations the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might and the wonders that he has done.

This was characteristic of godly men and women in the Old Testament. They did not hide the word of God or their songs of praise to God for his glorious deeds from their children. To hide that would be to sin against both the children and God.

But it doesn't just stop there. And I'm going to move this a little bit quicker, but it doesn't just stop in the Old Testament. We see this in the New Testament as well, that family worship is both commended and commanded in that text.

In 2 Timothy 1 .5, we read this. Paul's writing to Timothy, and he says, I'm reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and now, I'm sure, dwells in you.

What we see here is that Timothy's faith was multi-generational. So this passage implies that Timothy was a believer in Christ because this faith that he had was first his grandmother's, and then it was passed down to his mother's, and then it was passed down to him.

It went from one generation to another. And if we were to move a little, we're not going to go there, but if we were to look at 2 Timothy 3, we'd see that Timothy became wise for salvation, not because of some outward influence, likely, but because someone was reading the Bible to him from childhood, that he was acquainted with the scriptures from childhood.

And that was probably either his mom or his grandmother. And that's because that's what righteous people do in the Bible, is they take the truth about God and they pass it along to their children. And if that doesn't convince you, if you say, every example you've brought up so far is Old Testament, that's Old Covenant, and if you say, well, that's one example from the life of Timothy, Ephesians 6, 4, Paul says, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.

Don't exasperate them. We would agree with that. Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So beloved, I want you to see this with me, that there is a biblical mandate for family worship.

And then men, specifically in this room, whether you have children or not, men, I want you to see this with me. This is primarily your responsibility in your home. If you're a married man without children, it's your responsibility to lead your family in worship.

If you're a married man with children in your home, it's your responsibility to lead your family in worship. And if you're a young man, it's your responsibility to prepare yourself to lead your families in worship.

And if you're not regularly doing that already, then you're neglecting God's Word already. You're wronging your children and you're sinning against God if you're choosing to hide the Word of God from your family.

And we see this in other points in church history. For those of you that love the stories that I bring sometimes from church history, when we look at the Westminster Assembly, this group of godly men that met together to put together the Westminster Confession of Faith and the Westminster Catechism, they wrote that if a man neglected the responsibility of leading family worship, he was to be barred from the Lord's table.

And so these are the words they said, he is to be gravely and sadly reproved by the session, after which if he be found still to neglect family worship, let him be for his obstinacy in such an offense, suspended and debarred from the Lord's Supper, as being justly esteemed unworthy.

And so if you were to go back to 17th century England or maybe Puritan America, and you were to see a man who wasn't leading his family in worship, that was considered to be a travesty. It was considered to be unworthy.

And we're going to look at some examples from church history, and what we find is it wasn't just the Puritan era of England and the United States, but it's all of redemptive history, and then a great deal of church history, where the men who were worthy, the families who were worthy, to use these men's words, were those who led their families in worship.

I'll move along. So we've looked at the biblical mandate for family worship. Now I want us to consider this, the components of family worship. So you say, okay, I've heard from the scripture that family worship is biblical, that I should be engaging in this kind of thing.

Now what does that look like day to day? Now different people have framed this in different ways. Some people have said that family worship consists of, they say, the three S's, scripture, supplication, song.

Another brother wrote a book and said that three simple verbs could describe family worship, read, pray, sing. I like that verbiage, and I think that if we look at the totality of scripture, I think family worship could be described really and truly.

If we want to do a good job of leading our children to the Lord, of teaching them the ways of God, then these four words would be very helpful. Read, pray, sing, assemble. Four verbs, they're in your handout.

Read, pray, sing, and assemble. And what we'll do is we'll look at what this looks like functionally. And so the very first thing, if you are a dad in this room, and you say, I want to lead my family in worship, the very first step is to read the word of God.

Everything that we do must be based on the word of God. On the scriptures alone. And so if we're to engage in worthy family worship in our homes, it must be Bible-based. And we see that. Just to repeat myself, Ephesians 6, 4, Fathers, bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

To quote from that passage in 2 Timothy 3 in regards to Timothy's conversion, Paul writes there,. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believe, knowing from whom you learned it and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings.

I'm going to just gloss over these relatively quickly, but if you want to lead your families in worship, the very first thing to do is get them around you in a room and get the Bible open on your lap.

Read the word of God. Donald Whitney says this, Martin Luther, in speaking about family worship in his era, he said, Abraham had in his tent a house of God and a church. Just as today any godly and pious head of a household instructs his children in godliness, therefore such a house is actually a school and a church, and the head of the household is a bishop and a priest.

And so if we treat our homes like little churches, as the Puritans called them, and as little schools, then this is the textbook that we teach our children with. Matthew Henry said,. And so, men, if you want to begin simply by leading your families in worship, open your Bibles and read the word, and read the word and explain the word.

It doesn't take a great deal of expertise or education. I think of you, brother. You have a study Bible. Read the Bible. Share some of the comments from the text or from the commentary and ask your children some questions about what it is they're learning.

Now, let's say you live in a home where you're married but you don't have children. What do you do in that type of situation? I think about what Paul said to the Ephesian church in Ephesians 5, verse 25.

He said, That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. That's one of the expectations of men in a marriage, even if you don't have children, is that you're washing your wife in the water of the word, that you're bringing her to the well of God, and that you're drawing up the truth of God to apply to your lives for the glory of God.

And so we can take this too far, but in a very real way, the father and the husband is to be a type of shepherd in his home. You're already a shepherd in your home, actually, and you're either a good one or a bad one.

But a faithful shepherd feeds his flock. Not like a hireling, but a faithful shepherd feeds his flock, and he feeds his flock with the word. So we have read. The next thing, if you want to lead your families in worship, is this.

Read and then pray. Let your children... I wonder how many families in the world, how many children in the world have never heard their parents pray outside of a dinner grace? How often do your children hear you pray?

How often do they hear you pray for the lost? How often do they hear you pray that you might be able to understand the word of God? How often do they hear you pray that they might glean something from church this afternoon?

How often do your children pray or hear you pray for their souls? When your children hear you say, Oh God, save my child. Please save them. I think about a comment that my children made one day. I was praying for them at bedtime, and I prayed that their names would be written in the Lamb's Book of Life.

I remember one of the kids said afterwards, We don't always think that our kids are listening to us when we pray. But I think it was the following day. It stuck around in them long enough. They said, Dad, you were praying that my name would be in the Lamb's Book of Life.

I want my name in the Lamb's Book of Life. Let your children hear your prayers. And we see a good example of this in the life of Charles Spurgeon. We'll bring a good Spurgeon example. Someone wrote, once they went to Charles Spurgeon's house for dinner.

They spent the evening with them. And if you spent the evening with the Spurgeons, it's my understanding that not only did you get dinner, but you got to be a participant in family worship. And this one guest that went at their home, he wrote this.

He said, One of the most helpful hours of my visit to Westwood, that's the Spurgeon's residence, was the hour of family worship. At 6 o 'clock, all the household gathered into the study for worship. Usually, Mr. Spurgeon would himself lead the devotions.

The portion read was invariably accompanied by exposition. How amazingly helpful those homely and gracious comments from Mr. Spurgeon were. Then, speaking of prayer, he says, Then, how full of tender pleading and serene confidence in God, of world-embracing sympathy, were his prayers.

His public prayers were an inspiration and a benediction, but his prayers with the family were to be more wonderful still. Mr. Spurgeon, when bowed down before God in family prayer, appeared a grander man, a more grander man, even than when holding thousands spellbound with his oratory.

He led his family in prayer. I know you guys have heard this story before, but it's a good story, so bear with me, because some stories are worth hearing twice. But when I think about how we need to lead our families in prayer, men, how we need to lead our wives in prayer, young men, how you need to prepare to lead your households in prayer, I think of John Patton.

You've heard me talk about John Patton. He was a missionary to the New Hebrides Islands. And one of the most remarkable things about John Patton's story, besides all of his missionary exploits, was just the story of the influence of his father in his life when he was a young boy.

John Patton's father grew up in a home, it was my understanding, where his dad did not lead family worship. And so even as a young man, maybe Harsin's age, his dad didn't lead worship, and so what he did was he took it upon himself to lead family worship for his siblings.

And then when he had children, eventually, he was faithful in leading them in family worship. And one of the biographers for John Patton wrote this. He said, None of us can remember, I think this is a quote from John Patton himself, None of us can remember that any day ever passed, unhallowed thus, no hurry for market, no rush to business, no arrival of friends or guests, no trouble or sorrow, no joy or excitement, ever prevented at least our kneeling around the family altar while the high priest led our prayers to God and offered himself and his children there.

And then speaking later about his father's prayer life, John Patton says, How much my father's prayers at that time impressed me, I can never explain, nor could any stranger understand, when on his knees, and picture this, the family, all of us kneeling around him in worship, he poured out his whole soul with tears for the conversion of the heathen world to the service of Jesus.

And for every personal and domestic need, we all felt as if in the presence of the living Savior and learned to know and to love Christ as our divine friend. And as we rose from our knees, I used to look at the light on my father's face and wish I were like him in spirit, hoping that in answer to his prayers, I might be privileged and prepared to carry the blessed gospel to some portion of the heathen world.

If your children were to speak about your prayer life, if we were to ask your children about your prayer life, would they say that that is a perfect example of what it's like to be around my dad or to be around my husband when he prays?

And you guys probably know that this other part of the story, that little did that family know as they met in their house for worship and as dad on his knees pleaded for the lost, there was a woman in the village who was leading an immoral life.

She felt that she was destined to go to hell and she was tempted often to commit suicide. And on the dark winter nights, she would creep close to the window of the Patton residence and underneath the ledge of that window, she would listen to that man's prayers.

And she said later when she was converted to Christ, she said, I felt that I was a burden on that good man's heart and I knew that God would not disappoint him. That thought kept me out of hell and at last led me to the only Savior.

Does that describe your prayer life? And husbands, Peter writes this, he says, Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

It is true, men, that if we're rude and we're unkind to our wives, if we leave our houses in a huff after being rude to our wives and then we expect to have a vital prayer time in our car on the way to work, it's probably not going to happen.

But even more true, what Peter has in mind here is that if you're living with your wife in a harsh way, if you're not living in an understanding way, it's going to hinder your prayer time together. What kind of wife is going to want to pray with you when you mistreat her?

And so what he has in mind is not only should men lead their families, their children, and teach them how to pray, but men should lead their wives. I think of a story of Martin Lloyd-Jones, his wife Bethan Lloyd-Jones.

When Martin had passed away, someone had asked her the question, what is the thing that you miss most about Martin? And we know that Martin was a great orator. He was probably one of the most eminent preachers in England in the 1900s.

But she did not miss his preaching most of all. And she didn't miss his presence in the pulpit most of all. She didn't miss his lectures or his writing most of all. Most of all she said that what she missed was their private family prayer times in the evenings.

And that what most impressed her about her husband was the time that he spent with her drawing them both near to the throne of God. And she said that it was there that she experienced her greatest loss.

Men, lead your families in prayer. So we have read, pray, sing. I'm going to speed us up a little bit. But we read in books like Ephesians 5, verse 18 and 19. Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Holy Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, and making melody to the Lord with your heart.

That should be, it should be something that's continuously happening in us, this eruption of praise to God. And so when we get together with our children, we sing old hymns, and we sing new hymns, and we sing simple hymns, and we sing deep hymns.

Hymns that are shallow enough for the elephants to wade in, and yet deep enough for the elephants to bathe in. And we see this, for instance, in books like the Songs of Ascent, in the book of Psalms. In Psalms, that's Psalms 120 to 134.

That is essentially Israel's traveling hymnal. For the Song of Ascent, all of those hymns, or those psalms, essentially the Israelites, as they were making their way up the Temple Mount to Jerusalem on the road, they would sing those psalms together.

Those psalms weren't meant primarily to be used in the assembled worship of the church, or the assembled worship of the nation of Israel, but they were, this was a traveling hymnal. And so you can picture, kids imagine this, you're in Israel, it's hot, it's dry, it's one of the three main festivals where your family makes its pilgrimage to Jerusalem, and they're on the dusty road.