The Denominations Make a Hallmark Movie

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In the tradition of cheesy hallmark Christmas movies, Keith and Jennifer Foskey bring you "Love in Presbyterian Pines". This video is brought to you by Squirrelly Joe's Coffee. For a free bag of coffee go to squirrellyjoes.com/yourcalvinist Also, use coupon code Keith to get a discount on your next order. Merry Christmas from everyone here at YourCalvinist Productions!

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00:24
you appear to be having some trouble. Can I help? Yes, I'm Sally Deepwater and I'm on my way to the
00:31
Southern Baptist Convention. My car stopped and I don't know what to do. I just have to get there.
00:38
I'm a messenger from Generic Baptist Church. Well, you couldn't have found a nicer place to break down in,
00:44
Sally Deepwater. My name is Jedediah Sprinkle and this is Presbyterian Pines, a superior small town.
00:54
I know a little bit about cars and I can tell it's going to take at least a day to get the parts that you need from the Big Eva Multiplex Mega Church Mini Mall and Auto Parts Emporium over in Big City.
01:04
So since you have time, why don't you let me take you down to Squirrely Joe's and warm you up with a great cup of coffee.
01:11
This town is so interesting. Is everyone here? Yes, Sally.
01:16
We're all Presbyterian, but that doesn't mean we're all the same. Like, look, there's Brother Joel.
01:22
He is Orthodox Presbyterian. They're very serious and they hardly ever laugh, but they love to read.
01:29
Hi, Brother Joel. And there's Hendrick.
01:34
He's Associate Reform Presbyterian. He's a good old boy. He really enjoys psalm singing and drinking sweet tea.
01:41
Greetings, Brother Hendrick. And there's
01:46
Lyle. Lyle's PCUSA. He's very progressive and most of the things he does and says just makes the rest of us furious.
01:55
Who are those people in the distance drinking beer and singing psalms? Oh, them. Yeah, that's the
02:00
CREC. They're new around here. Some of our people don't really think they belong here, but that's okay.
02:05
They're working on their own town up in Idaho. Listen, Sally, we've been talking for hours and I just feel a deep connection with you.
02:20
Do you think this could be love? Jedediah, I know what I feel for you in my heart, but we're from two different worlds.
02:27
It will never work. I'm a Deepwater and you're a Sprinkle. I'm so sorry. But Sally, didn't you hear my excellent treatise on superior theology?
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I love you and I know you would love it here in Presbyterian Pines. I love you too, but I just can't.
02:44
Sally, don't go. One condition.
03:32
Name it, Sally Deepwater. You have to baptize our babies. You know
03:38
I will. Can I get lipstick on me?
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One more time. It's good. That's better. And singing psalms.
04:04
You put your finger in front of your face. Where should I do it? Down here? You can use your other hand to where it's not in front of your face.
04:10
Shut up. I'm a little... Who are those people in the distance?
04:16
Why are you doing it like this? Don't put it through your face.
04:21
All for love. All for love. Vandal from the