Practical Ministry Skills

Sovereign Grace Family Church

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September 9, 2021

00:00: All right, we are in class six tonight ministry in the local church.
00:04: This is the second part of what we began last week So what we're going to do tonight is we're going to recap the previous lesson and then we're going to talk about three subjects We're going to talk about hospitality at church and home We're going to talk about hospital and bereavement ministry and We're going to talk about leading and counseling marriages and funerals Now here's the thing about tonight Really tonight if you have any aspirations Towards being an elder or a pastor in a church This is really a lot of good stuff But even if you don't have that aspiration there are times when you may find yourself in any one of these ministries Doing these things probably the least the least likely one would be performing a wedding But you know outside of that you may find yourself in all of these things but like I said If you think that God is leading you toward a ministry of being an elder or a pastor or even a deacon These are certainly going to be areas that you'll want to key in on take notes ask questions Because this is I'm going to be sharing my experience with you tonight.
01:14: And and honestly, I have less material tonight I built in time for questions and conversation for tonight.
01:20: So please feel free to engage as we go And then at the and we are going to try to take our break right on time tonight because the felt needs That's the discussion of the last portion that literally could be a whole lesson in of itself discussing felt needs Some of you may know that phrase some of you may not that's a very common phrase Among church leaders.
01:42: We want to meet people's felt needs.
01:43: What does it mean? And is it is it important? So that's what we're going to talk about in our our second portion.
01:49: All right last Week we looked at gift-based ministry We talked about everyone having a certain gift that God had given them to minister within the church We talked about the church partnering with other churches and with parachurch organizations.
02:02: They may remember the definition of a parachurch organization Well, that's an example Salvation Army would be one That's it that's right Ed they work that's what parachurch they work beside the church like Samaritan's Purse or Red Cross or any of these Groups that might be a Christian organization, but they're not a church, right? So we have to be able to distinguish and know know the difference and there's nothing wrong with them But it is an important distinction to make because they run differently They don't have elders and deacons normally because they're not a church, you know They run like a normally like a not-for-profit business and that's fine But you know understanding how those things work is important and then we talked about cessationism and continuationism Which is how we understand the spiritual gifts and what I said in that was always remember when you join a church your convictions on That may just may determine what church you go to if you're convicted about the spiritual gifts Tongues and healing and things like that and you go to a church that practices those things you don't believe in it Well, you're already at odds with the leaders.
03:06: You're already at odds with what's going on So keep that in mind when you're looking for your church that you're going to join if you're not already a part of a church Now you didn't have a reading assignment.
03:16: So We won't be recapping your reading assignment.
03:19: This was the this was your week off so you don't have to do that We're going to jump right then into Hospitality in church and home at church and home The Bible is clear that we are to practice Christian hospitality There are three verses on the board They're printed they're on there for you if you can read them if not and you want to look them up it's Romans 12 and 13 Hebrews 13 and 2 and 1st Peter 4 9 Romans 12 13 says this Contribute to the needs of the Saints and seek to show hospitality Hebrews 13 says do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers for thereby some have entertained angels Unaware, I love that passage.
04:16: What good? Yes, I think the example is Abraham when he entertained the Lord and two angels in Genesis chapter 18 in the beginning of Genesis 18 It doesn't seem that Abraham knew that it was the Lord or angels, but he entered he brought them in He he saw them as outsiders.
04:35: He treated them with great respect and hospitality.
04:38: In fact, he is the example of hospitality he showed them love and mercy gave them food a place to sit and rest themselves and it says he treated them with the Utmost of love and concern later.
04:49: He would discern.
04:50: Yes.
04:50: This is the Lord These are angels, but at first he would just he thought these were men So I think that's the example and and and can can it be that there are other examples of that that maybe we have Entertained an angel at certain point possibly I think it's very the the spiritual realm is one that we often discount because we have Western minds that look at things very Look at things very naturally, but the Bible is supernatural and it says that we are surrounded by the supernatural So I think that it's possible that any of us could have but I think the reason why the writer of Hebrews uses Some have entertained angels on where he's speaking specifically of of Abraham in the in that situation first Peter 4 9 Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
05:38: So our hospitality is something that should be a joy and Not something that is a grumble or something that causes us to grumble now.
05:48: We've said we're to show hospitality What is it? The word hospitality in the English Bible comes from the Greek word philo xenos philo xenos is a Compound word that has two Greek words underneath it the first Greek word is the word philos or philos and that means what? love and xenos means strangers Outsiders, in fact, how many of you ever heard of the term xenophobia? What's xenophobia? Yeah, and typically people use that in regard to like immigrants, right? We don't want immigrants in that they said well, you're well, then you're xenophobic because you're afraid of outsiders well, if if xenophobia is the fear of outsiders than the opposite of that would be Philosinia love of outsiders and that's where the term hospitality comes from.
06:51: It's the love of outsiders and We have in the New Testament a call to love the outsider But even in the Old Testament, this was expected of the people of God Leviticus chapter 19 verse 33 When a stranger Sojourns with you in your land you shall not do him wrong You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you and you shall love him as yourself For you were strangers in the land of Egypt.
07:24: I am the Lord your God God says to the people of Israel when you were in Egypt the people of Egypt mistreated you They didn't treat you like that.
07:35: You were their own they treated you as slaves.
07:37: They mistreated you and that was wrong So instead of mistreating people that are from the outside you're to love them and Then of course later in the New Testament We are told that we are to love the outsider because Christ loved us when we were outside when we were when we were his Enemies God loved us, you know, and even though we were outside So the example of God loving us is the example of us loving the outsider now.
08:02: I did something tonight I don't normally do I brought a video It's only a couple minutes long but this is a video of Rosaria Butterfield if you do not know Rosaria Butterfield.
08:14: She is a Author she wrote a book called the gospel comes with a house key now a little background on miss Butterfield miss Butterfield was a proponent of LGBT movement because she herself was a Homosexual and she was in very strong in the homosexual community, but she is now a repented person she's a Christian and she's the wife of a pastor and her and her husband are devoted to Hospitality, that's what the book the gospel comes with a house key.
08:49: It's all about What I would say radical hospitality my wife and I read it a couple years ago and the call to hospitality in this book Which I believe is a biblical call was At some points uncomfortable because how how much we are called to love people But here's her definition of hospitality, which I think digs into something that we often miss Hospitality biblically speaking means love of the stranger So it transliterates from a Greek word philosophia.
09:24: So what hospitality is not Is fellowship and that there's nothing wrong with fellowship we love fellowship we love having our friends over who think the way we do and they're safe and and We can just catch up right where we left off, but That's not actually hospitality hospitality has The stranger in mind because we were once strangers to the Lord so that's what hospitality is radically ordinary hospitality is a Way of life that sees every day as an opportunity to practice hospitality From right where you are So you don't actually have to be somebody else to do this.
10:15: You have to be you You know hospitality is a it's a universal command uniquely applied and I think that we all need to think about how we're all needed in this.
10:28: There's there's only one you and You will apply this Differently than I will and that's okay, but nobody gets a free pass You don't get to not ever practice hospitality now there are seasons when we're going to ebb and flow, but if it's a lifestyle of Refusal that's called sin powerful thought and I think that she is correct in that if we're called to do something and we don't do it You know, what does the Bible say say hit to him who knows to do right and do it does it not? It is it is counted as sin.
11:15: That's right.
11:16: So now comes One of our conversation I said I built in some time for conversation.
11:22: What are practical ways? To show hospitality in the church and in the home Let's start with the church because this is about the church, but then we'll move a little more Deep.
11:33: What are some practical ways that the church is? Should be showing hospitality Okay.
11:47: Alright, so that's actually getting a little bit more specific than I was even thinking.
11:52: No, but that's fine I like I like where your head's at because what in case people didn't hear him What Ross said was opening up your doors during a disaster like a hurricane or something like that Opening up, you know, we have a facility open the facility for people to be protected.
12:06: That's that's a very specific type of Love to the community and a lot of churches do that.
12:13: In fact, you can actually You can get registered with the Red Cross or other organizations like that to be a emergency center Some of those things you have to meet certain requirements, you know You have to have a certain amount of bathrooms or certain amount of square footage to take in a certain amount of people there are certain rules when you have people on your property, but there that is certainly something that churches can and Likely should do in the sense of loving the outsider Frank, that's a that's a that's a good answer.
12:50: And that's kind of one of the first things I was thinking about not that what you were talking about was bad Ross because that's good But but an immediate thing that we can do is welcome people Right is when people come in the door.
13:04: They should feel like they are Valued and welcomed in this place.
13:09: I don't know if you've ever been to a church where nobody spoke to you But I My wife and I you know, we don't get to visit churches much because quite honestly I work every Sunday, but But I when I take a vacation, I still go to church In fact, I revel with that that opportunity I cherish that opportunity because when I'm off whether it's you know in the summertime I usually take a week or two off and maybe one other time during the year But I always go to church and I and I look forward to going to another church to see how they greet Yeah, I want to worship there But I also want to kind of learn and and sometimes I'm greeting with a you know Warm handshake and a hug you come on in, you know Give you a bulletin sit you down make you feel comfortable in other places You go in you sit out and then you realize you sat in Deacon Smith's favorite seat Now he's mad at you and everybody's nervous because I think he's going to say something ugly to you and you if you think I'm Exaggerating I'm not I've never done that but I know of people who have they sat sat in someone's seat and the people said I'm Sorry, you're in my seat.
14:10: Can you imagine? Being in a church where somebody comes up and says hey, you're in my spot I hope not most but it does happen a lot of I Love you Ed You know, there was a time in history Where there were churches where the pews were assigned People could purchase their pews and they could even put little gates on them so that they only could go and sit in their space Certainly doesn't sound very hospitable Well again, you know times in history are weird and there are things that odd things that happen I mean I can tell you some odd stories about history There are times in history where you couldn't take communion unless you received tokens from the pastor Because he examined you to make sure you were worthy Crazy type stuff.
15:10: I mean really odd.
15:11: Oh, yeah back in the Puritans and stuff There's a lot of I mean I respect a lot of what the Puritans had to say and a lot of what they did but not everything they did was right And again historically, there's a lot of crazy, right? So getting back to the idea of hospitality greeting people welcoming them Make sure they feel like they are able to come in feel comfortable.
15:33: What else anything anybody else got an idea? Yes, sir Yeah, we offer all kinds of hospitality Yeah creature comforts right and make it making sure they're and we're going to talk about when we talk about felt needs That's actually something that we're going to get to a little bit more.
16:00: But yeah, absolutely.
16:01: Absolutely Okay, and and you know, and that's different for every church, right? I mean a smaller church may not need a golf cart to help people But if you got a 30 acre piece of property and people are parking a mile away You might have to have a little shuttle bus or something to help people I know that when I went to R.C.
16:16: Sproul's Church They had a shuttle Because you know you had to park almost in the next town you know because it's such a big place and they had a Golf cart that seated like ten people and they came and picked us up, which was nice Is there anything else that we might think of? Okay following up with people Anything else? Outreaches now here I think you're in the kind of where my head was going because the thought I had was If we see a person come in who has a need Because that's what your outreaches do right food clothing stuff like that Yes, and it's an opportunity to show Christ's love in the midst of sharing the gospel So we see a person come in who is in a situation where it's obvious.
17:08: There's a need there And we don't always assume that just because somebody may be dressed a little different doesn't mean that they're automatically in need But there are times when that's where conversations come in come and sit with me, huh? Yeah, yeah One of the things that my wife and I talk about a lot is when we see a woman come in Who only who it's just her with her kids Right and so a lot of times if a woman's there, and it's just her with her kids Then she's probably going to need some help Right how can we help her come sit with us my wife loves it come sit with our family You know and and and have your kids sit with my kids.
17:51: You know so you feel welcome So that's another meeting a need yes Yeah, yeah We can do that and we like with us.
18:02: We have a thing It's a card, and I say you know we want to know you we want to be able to contact you Like what Ed said follow up with you And we're thankful that you're here and ask people to do that not everybody wants to fill out a card But we have it available and in fact usually at least it's been my experience I don't know about you guys been my experience people don't fill out the card the first week They fill it out the second or third week is there they're trying you out.
18:25: Just you know you don't they don't know you either You know but yeah, yes, sir Well, it really is right here because you're talking about there.
18:38: Here is here's You're like somebody like my daughter Let's say my daughter was 23 years old single and and didn't know anybody let's say she moved out of town and went to a college And she was looking for a church a group like that might help her connect to the other people and feel like she's welcome Where you know and and and that's what I was gonna I was actually going to talk about you know one of the things my wife And I like to do and a lot of our people here at church do is invite people to dinner You know people we don't know Just this last Sunday.
19:10: We've had a visitor.
19:12: That's been here last couple weeks nice young family and I said to him.
19:17: I said hey, we're gonna go lunch We want you guys to go with us, and so they went with us and again It's is that fellowship yes, but it's also we don't know them that the purpose is so that we would get to know them And one of the best ways to get to know people is over a meal And I do think that's why hospitality and most of our minds clicks into the idea of eating Like in fact if used to in this church the hospitality committee was the committee in charge of the kitchen That's what he has what we called them because it was the kitchen committee Of course yeah like a hotel like a hospitality.
19:50: Yeah, so these are all ways that we can do in the church What about in our homes? It might be a little bit harder Let me tell you something in her book she talks a lot about that she talks a lot about Rosario Butterfield talk so Yeah to have somebody who has a need and stay in your home She talks about they had several times in her husband's pastorate where there were families that had need and the whole family moved in with her and You know and I like what I'm glad that she was honest enough to say there are seasons for that Because like right now we have really small children having a family move in with us probably wouldn't work right now, but Years ago there was a young man here at the church and He had real bad problems at home, and so we took him into our home We invited him to live with us, and he lived with us for about a year He we didn't it wasn't a foster child you remember this Bobby wasn't a foster child or anything He was just a child he was 17 so say child He was a young man, but we said we know things are hard at home.
21:07: We went to his mother We said please let him live with us, and he did and in fact that was the year We got Ashley and Cody because we had to we had to explain to the state because we foster cared for Ashley Cody We had to explain to the state where we had some random 17 year old man living live in our house well, he had a need and he was living in our house and That's an example like I said we haven't done that since having little children I went in the army doing real well.
21:35: Yeah, yeah, but like I said, I'm There are many ways that I fail at this so when I give an example of something.
21:42: I've done I'm not putting myself up.
21:44: I'm just saying here's one thing that I I know that we did do you mentioned the room absolutely having people for food and meals Absolutely, I'll tell you this I know a lot of you guys are either at set for you have gone through set free set free does something That many churches aren't able to do and that's it provides a bed and food for men for long term I'm thankful that when men come here off the street because we have people come off the street here I have a place that I can point them to To say here's a place with a bed and men who will love you and people who come around you and support you You know a lot of people don't want it If I say how I'll take you to set free I'll get you set up They don't want it, but that's the offer right because it's available.
22:32: It's there and it's valuable Absolutely, so there you go, so there's some examples right we're called to be hospitable and That's the that's what it looks like All right moving on now as I said we had a couple things.
22:47: We're going to talk about We're going to look at hospital and bereavement ministry Hospital ministry I've defined as caring for the sick, so it doesn't necessarily mean somebody's in the hospital, but they are sick and Then bereavement ministry is caring for the grieving I have a few things to say about these Number one these ministries may or may not be structured at the church that you're in So if you are particularly Concerned for the sick or if you're particularly gifted to work with the hurting Then you may go to your pastor there may not be a ministry set up for that, but that may be why you're there To begin or to work in something like that so these ministries are valuable The second thing I have up here.
23:37: They may be restricted at certain times especially in times of widespread sickness That's something I probably wouldn't have written two years ago But I'll tell you this My amount of hospital visits in the last year and a half have been so small compared to what they were the years prior and the primary reason is because of The pandemic and all that has gone with it.
24:03: I want to go see people, but they won't let you and And But that is something to consider right the rules and what's going on with the rules and The third thing here, I have when it comes to hospital and bereavement ministries it always involves proper etiquette now What is the word etiquette me? Approach Manners decorum however you want to define it.
24:29: It's there's a way to do it and more importantly There's a way not to do it.
24:36: I've actually given classes on how to do hospital visits and and what I'm about to share with you that the six or seven things I have on the next screen are a distillation of what I gave in those classes Because I think it's important in fact I want to ask you this question how many of you by show of hands how many of you have ever on behalf of your? Church gone to the hospital and visited somebody Okay, just huh you've been with me, okay But a few of you have but most people haven't now we've all probably seen somebody in the hospital to visit me But when you go on behalf of the church, you're sort of going in a in a more of an official role You know if you're going in a ministry role Then there are some things that you need to consider because you're representing the church when you go So here's a few things to consider Number one try to obtain family permission before you go That is not always possible but if you are going to visit someone and especially if that person is not Competent to make decisions for themselves Maybe they're in a coma or something You need to somebody needs to know that you're coming that you're going and it's for the just for the sake of It's not a surprise when you show up They know that you're going and there may be a reason for you not to go and they may tell you that And it's not your place to necessarily argue whether or not you should go Right most people if you say hey, I want to visit your mother or whatever great She'd love to have you come up and visit but I have had I have had people Who said do not go and here's the reason why? And I've had to honor that in fact just a few weeks ago before this New wave of kovat kind of hit and closed hospitals again There was a window where you could visit people and I went and visited a few people at the hospital And I went to the door of the lady because I never talked to her before and I didn't talk to her family I the person who asked me to go see her was a friend of hers I Get to the door and I say to the nurse nurse.
26:56: Will you please tell her that her friends minister is here to see her The nurse said sure will she walks in she walks back out.
27:05: She doesn't want to see you She asked that you not come in Okay So I have to move on Right, I mean, I can't yeah, I can't I'm not Terminator.
27:18: I can't kick the door in and go ahead.
27:20: You know, you would listen Huh? What's that? Yeah could be good be But having having Having the person expecting you is good having the family knowing that you're coming is a good idea Like I said, it might it's not none of these are absolute hard and fast rules, but they're good good good Helps number two Sanitize your hands follow all hospital procedures if they tell you to gown up don't argue Right at this point.
27:53: You're not there to make a point You're there to be a blessing so if the thing says put on a gown put on a gown if the thing says put on gloves put on gloves if They if it I tell you what, I wear out the sanitation stations.
28:04: I get one every time I go by because free That was a joke, but no, but I do I my hands I come out of those things squeaky clean because there's all these sanitizing stations You know, but I do what I'm what I'm asked to do In fact, normally if I walk up and there's one of those things and if you guys haven't been you don't know But on the door, there's a box with different size gloves and the yellow Protectors and I say listen Do I need to put this on because just because it's there doesn't mean you have to put it on but if it's there Usually you have to put it on so normally when I walk up to the door I'll say to the nurse is this a it's just a have to yes Okay, and I'm gowned up and ready to go even if I'm only gonna be there for two minutes Right and we'll talk about time in a minute, but all right, so sanitizing your hands following hospital protocol Turn off your cell phone that should be given but you don't want to be in there texting while you're talking to the people That's rude Avoid going when you are sick Should be obvious But going sick is not what you need to be doing even sniffles Nobody wants to be shaking your hand when you're you know doing all that kind of stuff Here's a big one and this is huge if the doctor comes in to talk to them leave It's not your business If you're if you're there visiting them the doctor comes in now if you go leave and they say stay as a pastor sometimes They'll say pastor be with me because I don't know he's gonna say and I want you here in case it's bad news Now that may be but I always offer to excuse myself when the doctor comes in.
29:41: I'll step outside You let you know, let me know when I can come back Next one try to share encouraging words in Scripture and I don't have specific scriptures for you.
29:56: Psalm 46 is always good.
29:57: Psalm 46 is about the Lord being with us in difficult times Maybe avoid Psalm 23 people usually associate that with death You go in you know, the Lord is my shepherd.
30:07: I shall not want Yeah, you know Romans 8 Neither death nor life nor angels nor powers nor things present or things to come will separate us from the love of God Remember that uses the word death All right.
30:24: So keep in mind some of these good passages might be a little intimidating So be prepared beforehand if you're going to share Scripture with somebody What what you think you might want to say or ask them? These are a passage of Scripture that you'd like for me to read for you, you know Or would you like to read together? Can I pray for you praying? With people for people is good Lastly on this and again, I could there's a hundred things.
30:52: I haven't said but these are the things I thought of most important Make the visit short I've seen people go in and There's no exaggeration go in pull the seat up next to the seat next to their seat and sit for three hours Just sit and talk and jabber on because they ain't got nothing else to do They took a day off.
31:13: They're gonna make their time, you know, they're they're watching gunsmoke, you know Whatever's on the TV, you know, it's a gunsmoke or or some other TV show there Yeah, Matt what whatever and they're sitting there and the and here's here's this literally happened To somebody that I know because I the story came to me through them.
31:35: They said they were in the hospital In fact if I told if I told you know who it is if I told you it was Said they were in the hospital They were there for a few days and a person from the church came and visited with him and stayed For hours and he said the whole time they were here I had to go to the bathroom But I didn't want to say anything Because to get up to go to the bathroom.
31:58: I had all the stuff I had attached to the back of my gown would have opened up.
32:02: So I was embarrassed so he sat miserable While these people just sat there yabbering on So that was a good I learned that was an early in my ministry story that I heard that reminded me a Visit's usually a better visit You know, it doesn't mean run in shake hands and run out but Don't sit there and try to make it an all-day event.
32:31: Yes.
32:31: Yes.
32:31: Don't eat their food And you ate somebody's pudding, okay Okay All right Now we talked about the hospital now, let's move a little a little bit down into bereavement ministry now Bobby and I have probably more experience with this than most people Because Bobby's father was a funeral director Bobby worked at the funeral home when he was younger and even as an adult Got one of my first jobs that I ever had was working for a funeral home So we both have experience working with grieving families And so that has it's been a blessing in one way because it's allowed us to be able to have An insight into that time of people's lives.
33:37: That's a little different than average So here's a few thoughts and just to just to put in your mind number one Remember that the family is going if this is a time where they have lost a loved one That they're going through one of the worst times of their life Therefore things like hey, how you doing? Probably not the best thing to ask because they may just say Awful, I'm doing awful.
34:02: Don't you think I should my child just died Yeah, and that's true.
34:08: You can say it a certain way Yeah Yeah, that's right But just walking in expecting high-fives and everything else Absolutely not But just remembering as I said just remembering this is the worst probably you're catching them on the worst day and Keeping that in mind is helpful.
34:30: The second thing is to consider tangible needs things like food or even financial gifts You know, you don't think about it, but like when a person's spouse dies or whatever they may be out of work for a few weeks or They may be not thinking about feeding their children because they're weeping into their pillow or whatever So you bring food, you know, you bring you bring you show love through physical meeting of needs The third one I think is often overlooked but important Remember that the grief does not end with the funeral.
35:10: I Think a lot of people think well the funerals over and get back to life not for them Because if they've lost a spouse or a child or a father or mother or whatever that hole is not going to be filled that hole is is a new a new type of normal that they're going to have to adjust to grief is not something you get over grief is something you adjust your life around and you just begin a new life that has that hole of grief in it and So it's it's important to recognize that people will still need to be ministered to after the funeral in fact sometimes People are so busy between the death and the funeral Because you know, they're preparing the service.
35:53: They're preparing the burial.
35:54: They're preparing the plot.
35:55: They're getting all that done they're meeting with funeral directors and all that stuff then funerals over everybody goes home and It's the first time they've had quiet in a week It's the first time they've really felt the sense of loss and they're all alone Yeah And everything changes.
36:34: I Thought about this proverb as I was putting the lesson together Proverbs 25 11 says a word fitly spoken Is like apples of gold in settings of silver That the idea there is knowing The proper thing to say and the right thing to say and sometimes the best thing to say is what? Nothing, that's right.
36:53: Sometimes.
36:54: Yeah, just be there be a be a be a an arm to hold on to or a an embrace to give I Always just remind myself Don't say anything until you know what to say because oftentimes people just jabber I'll give you an example one of the worst things people often say people often come in and they'll Child has died and they'll say well, you know, they're an angel now or something.
37:19: They'll speak of some kind of colloquial ism and That I I've seen this happen.
37:27: Somebody comes in and says well, well, they're in a better place They're an angel now and the parent says I don't want that.
37:32: I want them here right, and so it produces in the parent almost a an Angry response Rather than what you're going for you're going for comfort right you wanting to comfort them, but instead it's almost like a stab.
37:47: Yes Yes, absolutely.
37:52: Absolutely Which is true, but maybe not the right thing to say at the time.
37:57: Yeah Well, I will say this last year I was invited to speak at a conference and I spoke at I spoke on the subject of Comforting Grieving Saints that was the title of my lesson and I taught on Romans 828 God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him but I said in that sermon and in one of our one of the pastors sort of one of because it was a pastor's conference one Of the pastors they're sort of argued with me a little bit He didn't really come at me But it but we sort of had a bantering back and forth because I said sometimes we don't need to quote Romans 828.
38:38: I God's got to work it all out for good.
38:41: It's hard to hear that when your child just died Right timing is key that was my point.
38:48: I'm not saying it's not true It's certainly true, but sometimes when you when they hear it Immediately that's hard to hear and it might not be the right thing to hear and he was like Oh you could and what he said to me after my sermon he came to me goes you can always say Romans 828 to me And I looked at him and I said yes, but your level of maturity is probably different than everybody else's I said and so I'm going to determine how I speak to somebody based on their level of maturity not yours you know, it's depending on where somebody is and so having them Yeah, yeah having have knowing the people know and that's another reason why this I don't think I've said this yet.
39:27: So I'll say it now Shepherds should smell like sheep That is my ministry of philosophy and it has been ever since I first heard that phrase.
39:37: I've heard that phrase Back when I first became a pastor and it stuck in my mind into my heart shepherds should smell like sheep What that means is the shepherd should know his sheep.
39:46: The pastor should know his people therefore when I do Minister to somebody who's grieving.
39:52: I know how to minister to them because I know them All right, that should be Okay All right If you ever find yourself being asked to lead or speak at a funeral, here's a few things to consider Number one you were there to honor God and love the family seek to do both well By the way, I'm thinking of writing a book on this subject because it is something I've done so many funerals I thought maybe it might be something I could share with people But the first thing I always tell the family when I call them I Am coming for two reasons to give you Love and encouragement and to and to proclaim God's goodness and truth Number two funerals are for the living.
40:43: You cannot preach the person Who has gone into heaven? But you can preach to the living about the need to repent and trust Christ You can't take the person in the box is gone you can't Now if you knew him and they were a believer you might be able to speak about the fact that you knew their faith But if you didn't know whether the person was a believer or not, you're not going to get him to heaven now But you can speak to the people So funerals are for the living the guy behind me is not the guy I'm there for it's the people in front of them And lastly I Believe this is true with all my heart if the person who had passed away had the opportunity to speak for themselves Knowing what they know now, they would all say the same thing Eternity is in the hands of Jesus Christ.
41:40: I Had a guy when I was doing a funeral.
41:43: It was only a few months ago.
41:44: He got up during the funeral He walked to the back of the funeral home and went to the funeral director and yelled at him He said the man who he's preaching for didn't believe these things I want you to stop him from speaking.
41:58: He wouldn't want him to be preaching these things Now I didn't know this until after the service because the funeral director did not stop me He just told the guy, you know, I'm not going to stop him Well when I walked out and I saw the funeral director He came to me quickly and he said hey, I just want you to know there's a guy who's upset He said the guy who died would not did not believe the things that you were saying and I said he does now That was my response I said he does now If he had the opportunity now Just knowing what he knows now He would beg me to say what I said.
42:41: I Said I don't care what that guy said I he right now if he had the opportunity He would tell he would he would agree with me So anyway Yes But you want to be boldly loving right I tell you I'm always grateful after preaching To know that I've comforted the family in some way Right.
43:06: So I do spend I spend most of time my preparation for funerals Trying to encourage the family, but I never leave without giving them the gospel and the gospel is there and it's always in the message And that's why I tell them and I've only had one family told me I couldn't do that I had a group of brothers meet me here it was actually in my office and They came here and we sat down in the office and I said, okay nice to meet everybody It was like six brothers their dad had died and I said just want you guys to know That my two purposes in a funeral is to encourage your family and to glorify Christ And the first guy spoke up that I guess the oldest brother he said you can't do that I Said I'm sorry.
43:53: He said we're gonna have Muslims and Jews there you can't you can't preach about Jesus.
43:59: I said well then I can't come And he said well we were told you were non-denominational I said non-denominational doesn't mean not Christian It just means I'm not associated with a particular denomination But I am a Christian and if I come I'm gonna preach Christ from the Bible.
44:17: Well, then you can't come Okay, I stood up shook their hand and walked away Here's the door That's it, this is it and there's only once that that's happened So anyway, all right Let's talk very quickly about marriages go ahead Praise the Lord Leading and counseling marriages and funerals now, here's what with this I'm talking more about the subject of counseling If you have if you ever do a funeral, I'm sorry a wedding you would have to have some form of credential to do that to be credentialed to do wedding is not difficult, but The the two forms of credentials that I'm aware of are either you're a clergy member, which means you're ordained of some sort and Unfortunately, you can get ordained Online for like 15 bucks.
45:14: So if that's the right if that's the route you want to take Go ahead, but that but that's the other way would be a notary If you're a notary public you are able to perform weddings But like I said this probably won't apply to all of you But here's some things to consider if you ever do find yourself going to lead a wedding Premarital counseling Will be your responsibility if you're the one doing the service It's your responsibility to do the counseling or at least see that counseling has been done That's one of the reasons why people have not used me for weddings Because I've had people come and say hey, would you marry my what my girlfriend and I or whatever and I say yes But you have to submit to at least four weeks of premarital counseling And you also have to sign a paper that says you're not going to be in a sexual Relationship while you go through this counseling That you're going to divide yourselves if you've been in a premarital sexual relationship you're going to repent and abstain from that relationship until you get married and I've had people say nope not gonna do that.
46:22: Okay Yeah, well, yeah and again, yeah, this is what it is It doesn't happen that often but it has happened So If you if you ever find yourself Going to perform a wedding and you want to know more about premarital counseling I can help you But counseling in general is something that all Christians can and should do so even if you don't ever find yourself Gonna be doing a wedding or anything like that We all in a sense are counselors of one another we're all in a sense ears and mouths to our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and Oftentimes we don't feel equipped to do that So I wanted to introduce you to this There's something called the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors used to be called Nank Nank was the National Association of New Thetic counselors the word New Thetic means it's the biblical counseling it's just a Greek word used for that and they realized that that word New Thetic was People people it confused a lot of people So when I went through the counseling training it was called Nank National Association of New Thetical Counselors now, it's the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors ACBC and you can get training.
47:41: Yeah.
47:41: Yeah, it's not ACDC ACBC You can receive training.
47:46: There are churches in town that offer Certification and training.
47:49: I think there's a church brother Mike Collier went through training at Christian Family Chapel in Mandarin, I think is a church.
47:58: I know First Baptist Church downtown the pastor Heath Who's the pastor now? He's a bigwig with with ACBC.
48:06: He is um, he actually did a book on counseling wrote a book and I listened to it with audio.
48:14: It was pretty good and All of the pastors down there have had to go through the training So it's it's it's solid stuff.
48:21: It's it's good.
48:22: And it all it is is using this as your tool Using this as the counseling tool Knowing how to use the Bible to speak into people's lives when they come with their needs or brokenness or whatever And and so I would definitely recommend it if you might know this lady, you guys know Nancy Weller She's been in this class before some of you may have met her.
48:42: She's a ACBC counselor.
48:44: She's a member here So there are times and there have been times in the past Where there have been people at this church and he just needed somebody to talk to and I call Nancy Nancy Do you have time in your schedule to let this person talk to you and you counsel them? Yes, so she becomes because of her Desire and training that she took this is above and beyond just regular You know she went out and got certified and now she becomes an instrument that the church can use a tool in the toolbox of The church right? So like I said, I'll go back to it.
49:20: This is the Association served.
49:22: Oh, you know, it's it's available I don't know what costs or anything like that are but it's certainly something to consider especially if you have a heart you feel like your giftedness is mercy ministry or exhortation if you feel like you're gifted to those things Certainly would be What an avenue so as we can see Looking at last week and this week Ministry can take on various forms within the church and we've really only scratched the surface We should all be prayerfully considering how God would use us Where and how does God have us to serve or have us? Gifted to serve in his church.