How Bible Twisters Add To and Subtract From the Bible

Eisegesis: Adding to and Subtracting from Scripture

It's time for another edition of Fighting for the Faith. Tuesday, December 18, 2012. Christmas is just around the corner, and I am very much looking forward to it. Thank you for tuning in. You're listening to Fighting for the Faith.

My name is Chris Roseborough. I am your servant in Jesus Christ, and this is the program that dishes up a daily dose of biblical discernment, the goal of which, help you to think biblically, help you to think critically, help you compare what people are saying in the name of God to the Word of God.

Now, one of the tactics that those who twist God's Word to basically craft the message that they want the Bible to say, and that's really what's going on there, is that somebody who is twisting God's Word is doing their doggone bestest.

Yeah, that's probably a weird way of putting it. But they're really putting in some effort to not say what the Bible says, while creating the impression that what they're saying is what the Bible says.

Okay? It's a strange thing. Now, one of the ways that we talk about regularly here at Fighting for the Faith, about those who twist God's Word, is one of the phrases that was actually coined by a listener.

And the phrase is, Narcissus. Now, prior to the term being coined, Narcissus, I had been using the phrase, Narcissistic Isisus, to describe a particular way in which certain megachurch pastors, like Stephen Furtick, Perry Noble, and others, were twisting God's Word.

That was that they were narcissistically reading themselves into the biblical text, okay? And so, that's one way to twist the scripture. You end up basically taking any biblical text, making it all about you.

But that's not the only way in which to twist scripture. In fact, Isisus is a known way in which you can twist the scripture. And here's the idea. You can twist the scripture by adding to it, isegeting things into the text that are not there.

Think of these as artificial fillers and flavors and things like that. Or you can subtract from the Bible, okay? You take away things that, well, belong there, that you disagree with. Both of these techniques, basically, the person who is engaging in it thinks they know better than God what is true and what is false, okay?

So the idea is, is the, well, the isegete or the, I don't want to say exegete, because technically, you know, it's not reading out what it's, it's the hack job, okay? The person who is engaging in the Bible twisting by either subtracting from the scriptures or adding to the scriptures thinks they know better than God.

They're trying to give us their theology, their doctrine, not biblical doctrine. Very dangerous thing. And so Christian pastors, those of you who are listening to Fighting for the Faith, I cannot admonish you, encourage you, you know, basically warn you enough that your job is to rightly handle the biblical text and you're to neither add to it nor take away from it.

You are to proclaim it as it stands. Now, understand that there are some passages that are difficult to take a little bit of explanation, but for the most part, the perspicuity of scripture, that is, is that it's understandable, it's knowable, it's, you know, you can read it and get it, stands.

Now, that being the case, not every passage of scripture is as easy to understand as others. In fact, but the reality is this, is that when it comes to the doctrines on which the Christian faith stands or falls, an elementary school kid could read those passages and get them.

In fact, I don't think that there is a single biblical doctrine, a single doctrine of Christianity that relies on a more difficult passage. Does that make sense? So the idea is, is that, you know, pastors, you are to be preaching what God has revealed in his word.

He knows best what it is that we are to believe, what we are to teach, what we are to confess, and we are neither to add to it via eisegesis and other things or take away from it via basically snipping it out and, you know, and saying, and throwing it away.

So what we're going to be doing on today's edition of Fighting for the Faith is kind of looking at several different ways in which Bible teachers either add to or take away from God's word. So that's kind of the theme that we're working on here, and we'll start easy and work our way up in difficulty all the way to our sermon review today, which is a fascinating sermon.

We're going to be going to a place that calls itself Safe House Church, Safe House Church. And no kidding. I am not joking when I say this, stay tuned for hour number two, because you're going to hear a pastor attempt to make the Christmas story about inclusivity, not being exclusive, and then derive from that the idea that we need to have female pastors and affirm homosexuality.

No joke. But the only way you can do that is by eisegeting things into the text. In fact, the person who's engaging in eisegeting, what they're really trying to do, they don't want what the Bible says, but they want it to say something.

So they're pouring into these texts things that are not there in order to manipulate the text to say something it doesn't. I mean, if I were to tell you, listen, by the end of today's edition of Fighting for the Faith, you are going to hear somebody attempt to make the Christmas story about being gay affirming.

You go, what? Well, yeah, exactly. But that's what's going to happen. You're going to hear somebody attempt to do that. And what we'll do is we'll deconstruct the technique that is being used so that you can spot this when somebody else does this in your church.

Hopefully that doesn't happen in your church. If this is happening in your church, you've got problems, problems that are very serious, problems that may require you to confront somebody or worse, require you to not show up again and find a church where the pastor understands that his job is to preach the text as he's been given it, not engage in eisegesis or hacking the Bible up and omitting the parts that he's not comfortable with proclaiming.

You don't want to add to or take away from the scripture. That's kind of the idea. Now, there's different ways in which people add to and take away from the scripture. One of the ways in which people add to the scripture is via, well, dreams and visions and things of that nature.

And so what we'll do is we'll start off our today's edition of Fighting for the Faith with an example of that from the Patricia King gang. Are you waiting for the United States to have its Mount Carmel moment?

You're going, it's what? Well, yeah, you know, it's it's Mount Carmel moment. Yeah. Here's Robert Stearns from the Patricia King gang to explain to you how he has prophetically received a word from God that that the United States is gearing up and waiting for and getting ready for its Mount Carmel moment here.

I'll let him explain.

Hey, family, this is Robert Stearns, and I'm here at the Growing in the Supernatural Conference with Patricia King and her team. We're having a great time.

What? The Growing in the Supernatural Conference. Who knew you could do that? I mean, wow, you just go to a conference and you two can grow in the supernatural with Patricia King, known heretic and false teacher.

Got it.

OK, wish you were here. Hope you get back to one of these conferences soon.

Yeah, I'll pass. Thanks. Appreciate the sentiment, though.

I want to take a moment and share with you something that I've been feeling in my heart for the past few months.

OK, you've been feeling what in your what? Feeling something in your heart. Yeah. By the way, this is this is another one of those phrases that you really need to be listening for. If your pastor gets up, ascends to the pulpit and says, I would like to share with you something that I've been feeling in my heart.

Or the more pious way of putting it, I would like to share with you what God has laid on my heart today. Think of football. OK, at that point, you got to throw a flag, you know, blow a whistle, throw a flag.

There's a flag on the play. You're not supposed to preach what God has laid on your heart. The job of the pastor is not to preach anything that God has laid on your heart. And I wouldn't want to hear anything that God has laid on anybody's heart, because have you heard in Scripture what the human heart is like?

What's in there? I mean, toilets are clean compared to human hearts. You understand what I'm saying here? Because it's Jesus says out of the heart comes all kinds of horrible things. Idolatry, theft, murder, adultery, all of that stuff starts in the heart.

So, yeah, I'm not so sure I really want to hear anything that some pastor thinks that God has laid on their heart. Yeah, I in fact, you know, I'm I'm thinking, you know, germicide, you know, hand sanitizer, anything at this point, because the human heart's wretched, wicked, nasty things and horrible things.

I don't want to have anything to do with something that's been laid on somebody's heart. You get what I'm saying? So you've got to think this way. The job of the pastor, according to Scripture, not according to Roseboro, but according to Scripture, see Second Timothy chapter four is to preach the word.

OK, preach the word, not to preach what God has laid on their heart. No, preach the word. That's their job. OK, let's continue.

I really believe specifically regarding America, but really regarding the church globally. I believe we're coming unto what I'm calling a Mount Carmel moment.

Really? So we're going to relive the whole Mount Carmel experience. You know, by the way, that's one of my favorite passages in the Old Testament. First Kings, what, chapter 18, I think. But yeah. So you think America is going to or the church in America or the church or wherever, according to what is in your heart, is going to come to a Mount Carmel moment.

Who will be playing the prophet Elijah? I'm curious who will be playing the prophets of Baal. I'm curious because you see, when I think about the nation of Israel. OK, the ancient nation of Israel, both the northern and the southern kingdom.

Well, what we know about them is that they were the people of God and they had a they were in covenant with God in a way that, well, the United States isn't like not even close. The United States is not God's nation, even though on the currency says, you know, in God we trust.

See, I'm a little curious about which God that happens to be. You know, you see the word God that that's a term that, you know, can be kind of fluid. So, OK, so America, you think you this is what you're calling.

According to you, you think feel that the United States is destined for a Mount Carmel moment. You are aware that the original Mount Carmel moment, there was also sacrifice of animals involved and God showed up and, you know, and there was fire that fell from heaven and consumed Elijah.

Are you talking about that?

Seriously, really all of that, huh? You know, at Mount Carmel, Elijah summoned Israel together. Yeah. OK. He called all of Israel up to Mount Carmel as witnesses. And he said, it's time for you to make a decision.

OK, kind of. Yes. It's time for you to make clear where you stand, because, yes, but all is God serve.

Him. I think these are the words of Elijah paraphrased via Rosebrook. Yeah. But if Yahweh is God, you know, serve him.

Right. OK. Israel was filled with compromise and with with no, no, no.

Idolatry. Compromise. Come on. Let's call a thing what it is. Israel at that time was full of idolatry, adultery, wickedness, violence. You get what I'm saying. OK, let's call it what it is. Let's not hedge our, you know, well, you know, they were caught up in compromise.

With a fullness of losing God's heart and losing God's presence.

OK, I don't even know what you're talking about now.

The prophets of Baal were called up by Elijah and Elijah said, meet me at Mount Carmel. I want to tell you, I hear the voice of the spirit of God saying, meet me at Mount Carmel today.

Really? So you hear the voice of God say so. Now this guy's speaking prophetically. God thus saith the Lord, meet me at Mount Carmel today. I can't get there today. And I mean, I don't in fact, if I were to go to cheapo air, I'm not even sure I could afford the ticket to Israel right now.

But OK, so you think that God's telling you to tell me that to meet me at Mount Carmel. Now, notice something that's going on here. OK, just pause for a second. What is this? OK, this is somebody who really is adding to the scriptures.

OK, Robert Stearns here is adding to the scriptures, although he's kind of using the scriptures. He's adding full blown, direct revelation from God. And here's the deal. Since I'm going to disobey this word from the Lord, I'm sorry, but I won't be meeting the Lord at Mount Carmel today.

Um, so the question needs to be asked, am I disobeying God? Are you disobeying God? If you don't quit, get on to cheapo air and and book your travel to Israel today so that you can meet God at Mount Carmel.

And since this was posted three days ago, which day in particular is it that God is telling me to meet him at Mount Carmel? And what Mount Carmel are you talking about? Are you talking about the real Mount Carmel?

Are you just talking about some allegorical concept of Mount Carmel, which really has no particular meaning if that's the case?

Elijah called all of Israel together and the prophets of Baal. Yes. And he let the prophets of Baal make their sacrifices. Yeah, he did. And I want to tell you that there is rising up today a false church.

Yes. This is the irony of this. Listen to these statements. This is going to be like bizarro world.

It has a form of worship and a form of godliness. But they have moved away from the clarity of God's word.

You mean like the Patricia King gang and the Growing in the Spirit conference folks, all of those people, right? They've moved away from God's. You like you yourself are this way, too, because you're receiving direct revelation from God.

With God commanding me to meet him at Mount Carmel.

Moved into other doctrines. They've moved into something that is.

Yeah. Like Patricia King's, you know, glory teaching and her teaching that you can ascend to heaven and and partake of the wine cellar of God, you know, stuff like that. Is that what you're talking about?

Not the apostolic faith handed down to us.

Right. Like, you know, casting out werewolf spirits and things like that. Is that what you're talking about? Like what Patricia King is?

By our spiritual forefathers and foremothers. But Elijah gathered them together and he said, listen, I'm going to pray and I'm going to call upon God and the God who answers by fire. He is God. And listen, if Baal is God, serve him.

But if Yahweh is God, then serve him. I believe we're coming to that moment in history right now, certainly in America.

Really? We're coming to that moment right now. Number one, America isn't God's covenant people. Who's the prophet that's going to summon America to? Where are we going to have this little showdown at Mount Rushmore?

You know, where were you thinking this is going to go down at?

Where we have been filled with other voices, filled with other concepts.

And God is saying, yes, we've been filled with other concepts and ideas specifically from the XP Media website. We've chronicled this since I started the program.

I want you to come back to an experience with me, to a place of standing in my word and a place of standing in identity in me.

Well, if I'm going to stand in God's word, then I need to stop listening to you and you telling me that God's commanding me to meet him at Mount Carmel.

So that you can be the people of God I've called you to be. We all know the story. Elijah built the altar. He called upon the name of the Lord and God answered by fire. And Israel was restored to right relationship with God.

Let's pray together that this nation will be restored to right relationship with God by coming into a Mount Carmel moment by.

Yeah. You know, see, here's the deal is that individual citizens in the United States of America will not be brought into right relationship to God by going to Mount Carmel. Instead, they need to have the message of Mount Zion or we could say of Mount Moriah, the place where Christ was crucified, proclaimed and taught to them.

We need to call sinners to repent of their sin and to be forgiven by the shed blood of Jesus Christ, the blood that was shed at Golgotha for the forgiveness of their sins. You know, you're sitting here and we need to have a Mount Carmel moment.

This is I mean, seriously, I mean, this is as lame as like a hallmark sentimentality. This doesn't do anything. And you've added to the scripture with your so-called direct revelation.

Experiencing the power of God and by letting our yes be yes. And by saying, God, we don't want to serve any other gods. We want you and you alone. Hey, we're praying for you today that you'll be strengthened in the Lord, that you'll be strong in his power.

Keep praying for the peace of Jerusalem. Stop by our website. Yeah, and that won't do that.

OK, so that's Robert Stearns. He's added to the scripture with his direct revelation and he's manipulated the biblical text, telling us that we need to obey the voice of the Lord that came to him, that we need to have our Mount Carmel moment here in the United States.

But apparently God, the Holy Spirit is just a little bit thin on the details as to where that particular showdown supposed to go down. Plus, this was laid on his heart. And that means I wouldn't want to touch it with a 10 foot pole because, yeah, I'm just a little nervous about anything that's touched a human heart, you know, because I have one.

I know how disgusting it is. All right. Moving along. OK, from the website called The Blaze, headline reads Queen James Bible. Now there's a gay friendly version of scripture. Just what we all need. OK, so here's what it says.

This was posted on December 13th at a website called The Blaze. Despite the evolution of societal trends, homosexuality continues to be intensely debated on moral, spiritual and theological grounds. With the Bible traditionally viewed as a document that condemns the actions associated with same sex attraction, some anonymous editors have set out to reinterpret scriptures to create a new translation known as the Queen James Bible that is favorable to gays and lesbians at first glance.

And even when you dig beneath the surface, it's difficult to discern who is behind the publication. The publisher of the book on Amazon is listed as Queen James, as there is no organization overtly mentioned on the website advertising the alternative Bible.

That said, the editors, though unnamed, are bold in explaining their intriguing project. Quote, the Queen James Bible resolves any homophobic interpretations of the Bible. But the Bible is still filled with inequality and even contradiction that we have not addressed.

The website notes, no Bible is perfect, including this one. And we wanted to make a book filled with the word of God that nobody could use to incorrectly condemn God's LGBT children. And we have succeeded.

The editors claim that the word homosexual was not placed in the book until 1946. Their new version is purportedly a purer, at least in their view, take on the scriptures, although references to same sex attraction were clearly in the Bible from its inception.

Take into account the eight verses that are most frequently cited in arguments against homosexuality and same sex attraction. The editors amended them in a way that makes homophobic interpretations impossible because the King James translation is the most popular version of the Bible.

It was selected to be repurposed, I would say, because it's out of copyright. But anyway, why Queen James? You may be asking. According to those behind this new publication, King James, the sixth and the first, the man behind the Bible translation was a bisexual.

A fact that is historically debatable. Well, we'll let the editors tell you in their own words, quote, commonly known as two biographers, but often surprising to most Christians. King James, the first was a well-known bisexual, though he did marry a woman.

His many gay relations were so well known that amongst some of his friends and court, he was known as Queen James. It is in this great debt and honor that we name the Queen James Bible. So among the verses that the changes were made to, Genesis 19, 5, originally reading, And they called unto Lot and said unto him, Where are the men which came to thee this night?

Bring them out unto us that we may know them. They've amended it to say, quote, And they called unto Lot and said unto him, Where are the men which came to thee this night? Bring them out unto us that we may rape and humiliate them.

Oh, yeah, that totally makes it totally gay friendly. Yeah, man on man rape. Yeah, no, there's nothing there that would make you a man. The rationale for this change, as described by the Bible's editors, is as follows.

We side with most Bible scholars who understand the story of Sodom and Gomorrah to be about bullying strangers. Strangers were not well treated or well regarded at the time of the Bible. Hence, so much of the word urging the love and acceptance of others.

I would agree that, you know, male rape of another man, that would definitely qualify as the bullying and mistreatment of strangers. Good night. Quote, We know Lot asks that the men do not know the angel visitors wickedly, which we understand to mean rape.

We know from Leviticus that one is not allowed to have sex with a beast and angels are not humans. Plus, the passage mentions the men of the city. Obviously, women and children aren't going to be invited to a dominating and public rape.

But we know that there were women and children in Sodom because Lot had daughters. Rapes such as this one are common between men in prison. They aren't sexual acts. They are power dominating acts. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, forget the fact that there's sex involved in it. It's not about that. It's about power and domination. So as for the Leviticus 2013 passage, which reads, If a man also lie with mankind as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.

They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them. Yet another interpretation is given in the Queen James Version. It now reads, If a man also lie with mankind in the temple of Molech as he lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination.

They surely shall be put to death and their blood shall be upon them. I see. OK, so what do we got going on here? What is this? It's real simple. This is both a subtraction from what Scripture says and in addition to it, in order to change what Scripture says.

Rather than repenting and bending the knee to what God has said and revealed, these folks don't like what God has said and revealed. And so they're engaging in both eisegesis, putting things into the text that aren't there.

And exegesis, not exegesis, but they're taking away from Scripture, clear passages in order to eliminate what they don't like. OK, but see, that's no way to find out what is true or false, is it? That's no way to discover what God has revealed in His word, is it?

You know what? There's a word for this, by the way. OK, these guys who put this Queen James Bible together think that they're engaging in scholarship, but they're not. There's another word we use when this type of thing happens, right?

And that word is censorship. They don't like what it says, so they're censoring God and censoring the Bible in order to have a more societally palatable version of the Bible. But by doing this, they're taking away from the text and adding to the text.

And by doing so, they're deceiving themselves and they have made themselves God. They think they know better than God and therefore they're going to correct God. I mean, think about the hubris of this.

I mean, serious, OK? Imagine for a second, OK, by some strange series of events, OK, Jesus himself shows up at your Christmas party. OK, Jesus himself shows up at your Christmas party. OK, and you know it's him.

And now I know that's kind of a weird way of thinking about this, but work with me here. I mean, yesterday we did a sermon where, you know, sermon review where Jesus was at, you know, a banquet put on by one of the leaders of the Pharisees.

So just imagine for a second that, you know, you're getting ready to have family over and you're going to you're going to throw a little, you know, little Christmas party. OK, so Jesus shows up at your Christmas party.

Now at your Christmas party, you have friends and family who've been invited and some of them have views different than you do. And some of them like to, well, share those views with others. If you know what I'm saying, if your family's like my family, sometimes politics and religion discussions during the holidays can get a little bit, well, intense.

OK, so there's Jesus. He's at your Christmas party and there's your uncle. OK, now your uncle is one of these people that, well, he's very liberal in his thinking and he's very progressive in his understanding and he's very vocal about it.

Right. OK. And so there's Jesus sitting at your table at your Christmas party talking with your uncle. OK, and do you know who Jesus is? Right. He's none other than the God who created us in human flesh.

OK, so then your uncle proceeds to tell Jesus, OK, here's how the conversation goes down. He looks at Jesus and says, you know, I have a beef. I've got a bone to pick with you. I'm not I'm unhappy. Oh, and Jesus says, oh, sure.

Well, tell me what you're unhappy about. I don't like what the Bible says about homosexuality. I think that it's homophobic. And Jesus looks at him and says, oh, really? Do tell. He says, well, you know, I think it's wrong.

In fact, I think we need to change the Bible. We need to correct it. OK, we need to correct it because, you know, these views are just so backwards and not in line with a progressive society like ours.

We need we need to edit the Bible. So I'm thinking, you know, in fact, I've got some white out here and King James Bible and I'm going to just write some verses out. And he's doing this right in front of Jesus.

Right. Do you think Jesus would say, you know, you know, you're right. What was I thinking? You know, I mean, here I am. I'm God in human flesh. And, you know, I mean, it was so long ago. I mean, you know what?

You know, two thousand years ago. I mean, you forget the fact that, you know, you know, a thousand years is like a day to me. I mean, it's so far in the past. What was I thinking when I said that, you know, if a man lies with another man as he lies with a woman, that's an abomination.

What was I thinking? What was I thinking when I when, you know, when the Holy Spirit, you know, who happens to be the same God as I am, you know, we can talk about the Trinity later. But what was I thinking when, you know, the Holy Spirit revealed, revealed that Sodom and Gomorrah, you know, was engaging in perversion.

You know, it's not just in Genesis, but in the book of Jude. I mean, have you read what was there? I mean, in the book of Jude, here's what it says. Verse six. And the angels who did not stay with their own position of authority, but left their proper dwelling.

He is kept in eternal chains under gloomy darkness until the judgment of the great day, just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality. You see, what was I thinking?

I mean, I like the changes that the Queen James folks have come up with. They're so much more accurate than what was originally revealed. I mean, aren't you glad that we have somebody who is smarter than God, who can come along and fix these passages for us?

I mean, so, yeah, that's the idea. So imagine somebody saying this to Jesus. What do you think Jesus's response would be? Well, I'm not one for speculation. In fact, I'm one to say that the speculation is bad.

But I can point you to where Jesus talks about his word and whether or not it can be edited. And this is found in Matthew chapter five, starting in verse 17. Jesus says, Do not think that I've come to abolish the law of the prophets.

I have not come to abolish them, but to fulfill them. For truly, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot will pass from the law until all is accomplished. In other words, those people who are adding to and trying to take away from God's word, they're going against Jesus because Jesus makes it clear that not even the smallest segment, smallest stroke of a pen from scripture is going to pass away at all.

Heaven and earth will pass away, but not an iota or a dot will pass away from the words of scripture. This is what Jesus said. So those who are adding to and taking away from scripture, they think they know better than Jesus himself.

They know better than God. And they don't. They're fooling themselves. And the scripture stands against them and they hate that. So what they have intended to do is basically graffiti on scripture and get rid of what they hate and add to the scriptures, the things that they like so that they can create the false impression.

Ha ha. See, God now approves of us. Really? Just because you took some white out to the scripture, do you really think that God now approves of your sinful behavior and doesn't call you to repent and be forgiven?

You're deceiving yourself and deceiving others, if that's what you believe. All right. We're up on our first break. If you'd like to email me regarding anything you've heard on this edition or any previous editions of Fighting for the Faith, you can do so.

My email address is talkbackatfightingforthefaith .com or you can subscribe on Facebook facebook .com forward slash pirate Christian or follow me on Twitter. My name there at Pirate Christian. When we get back, we're going to take a look at a recent article by Shane Hipps and try to figure out whether or not Jesus needs Christianity.

That's kind of the question. We'll be right back. Stay tuned.

If you think God is a black woman named Papa, then you need to get out of the shack and read your Bible. You're listening to Fighting for the Faith. Listening to Pirate Christian Radio, we'll be taking your false doctrine now.

Circus Church. Welcome to Build-A-God. How can I help you? Hello. I received a Build-A-God certificate for my birthday, so I'm here to build my own.

Deity. Oh, this has got to be so exciting for you. Oh, it really is. Okay, let's get started. The first thing we have to do is determine whether your God is male, female or unisex. Men are pigs anyway.

She has to be female. Great choice. Now we have to select some of the attributes of your goddess. What do you provide? Do you want her to be kind, loving, compassionate, just, angry, righteous, wrathful?

The goddess I believe in would only be loving and kind. Perfect.

Now, is there any kind of sin that needs tending to by your goddess? Sin? You know, things like lying, cheating, stealing, murder, homosexuality.

Well, I definitely want my goddess to be gay affirming. And sin itself just feels so negative. I'm a good person and I think my goddess will think everyone else is too.

Oh, wonderful. Your goddess is coming along beautifully. Now we have to get to the difficult questions. Does your goddess offer an afterlife?

Yes, my goddess would let everyone go to heaven except for Hitler, Genghis Khan. Good for nothing ex-boyfriend.

Oh, excellent. Excellent. Now for the final step, you have to name your goddess.

I think I'm going to name her Jesus.

Oh, wonderful. That's what everyone names their God.

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