Jeff Durbin | Soft And Gentle Tongues Part 2

Proverbs 15 and the Call to Wise Speech

If you would please turn in your Bibles to God's magnificent book of wisdom, Proverbs chapter 15. Proverbs 15, this is part two of the message, and the first four verses of Proverbs chapter 15, verses 1 through 4.

Hear now the word of the living and the true God. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. As far as the reading of God's holy and inspired word, let's pray as God's people. Lord, these are your very words. You've stepped down into the world, and you've shown yourself to us.

You've revealed yourself to us, God. Your speech cannot be avoided in all of creation. It shouts to us about you. But this before us is your special revelation. We recognize, acknowledge the gift that it is.

Father, we thank you as we come before you as redeemed saints. We thank you for the gift of redemption, salvation, the grace in which we stand. Father, we thank you that you've brought us to peace with you.

That we've been declared righteous through faith. That there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. That you count us righteous apart from works. That you'll never count our sins against us.

Lord Jesus, thank you. Thank you for your righteous life, your obedience. Thank you for your death on the cross for us, paying for our sins in full. We thank you for your resurrection, that you've conquered death.

We thank you that you are ascended and seated on your throne. That you, Lord, intercede for us. We thank you that, Lord, though you know our frame and our own folly and sin and falling short. Lord, you declare us righteous in Jesus.

We thank you that we are called children of God. And that you love us with an everlasting love. And you have covenant faithfulness to us. Lord, that you don't change even though we constantly do. We thank you that we stand and do not fall in your presence because of you, Lord Jesus.

And your righteousness. We hide ourselves in you. And we come to you and ask for the guidance, the blessing and the wisdom of your spirit. To teach us as your people, Lord. Let this transform and renew us.

That we'd be light to the world. That people would glorify your name because of the justice and the wisdom and the knowledge that comes forth from your people here. We thank you for your forgiveness. That you love us with an everlasting love.

That you never lose us or forsake us. And we pray by your spirit that today you renew our minds. That you get the teacher out of the way. That your people would forget me and remember you and what they learned from your word today.

By your spirit. In Jesus' mighty and holy name we pray.

Amen.

So this is wisdom from above.

God's wisdom.

How do we live? You've heard me saying often through this series that there is a difference between knowing something. Knowing something. Being able to articulate something. Being able to articulate theological truths.

And actually being a wise person. We should fight for both. It's not one or the other. But often times I think we'll see even in our own communities. I've said very often that we are knowledgeable fools.

We know a lot about scripture. We know a lot about God. We can defend some essential core Christian truths. But we don't know how to live. And that's not what the Christian life is supposed to be like.

We're not supposed to be the kinds of people who can articulate grand theological truths. But we just cannot live them out. And so the purpose of the Proverbs series is to be able to walk in wisdom. To have divine wisdom.

To look like Jesus.

We often say that we know in scripture that as people who are redeemed and saved. Who know Jesus. The goal of God in our sanctification is to conform us to the image of Christ. Jesus is God incarnate.

Amen.

He is God among us. He is what the perfect image of God is supposed to be. It's not just God walking around among us. It's the God man walking around among us. He is what humanity was supposed to be like.

And so when we see Jesus' life. Not just his actions. But his words. We are seeing wisdom incarnate. The righteous one. The blameless one. The law keeping one. And the wise one. The truly wise one. If we're going to be conformed to the image of Jesus.

Then we're not going to be people who can just simply articulate theological things. We're going to live like Jesus and be wise. In our actions. In our speech. We're going to look like him. And so Proverbs here.

It's challenging.

We have so much. And we've been saying this over and over and over. Because obviously it's a problem for all of us in humanity. God keeps repeating himself. We've been seeing over and over again. The problem with our mouths and our tongues.

And in Proverbs 15 here. We're going to do our second part. And try to connect actually a key issue. In terms of what is the antidote to our evil. To our sinful mouths.

And so the text says.

A soft answer turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger. We did that last week.

It says.

Wise tongues commend knowledge. What's that exactly mean? To commend it means to use rightly. It does well. That's the meaning of the term. So a wise tongue uses itself rightly. It is used rightly. It does well.

So you can see and hear. That a tongue is good. Righteous. Wise. Because of how it is used.

Godly speech.

Holding to God's standards.

It is careful.

But obviously this is put in contrast. The book of Proverbs is constantly doing this. It is putting things in parallel. And then it will put things in contrast.

This.

But not that. So we can see it clearly. And so we see that a wise tongue commends itself. It is used rightly. It does well. You can tell this person is wise. By how their tongue is being used. If you have the standard of God's word.

If you have the standard of God's law. If you have the standard of God's wisdom. You can measure that. It pours out. We've got that measuring rod.

Here's the truth.

This is what's wise. And all I have to do is test it. What's coming out of your mouth. What is your practice. The thing you're constantly doing with your tongue. I can tell if you're a wise person. You can again be a theologically sound person.

You can pass the theological exam. You can check the boxes. That's good and fine. And we should definitely be doing that. But we really know if you're a wise person. Over against being a fool. Based upon what's coming out of your mouth.

Your tongue. Fools pour out folly. So if you want to see if you're a foolish person. Or if you want to say. That guy or that girl is a foolish person. Just see what's pouring out of their mouths. What's a regular practice with their tongue.

What does their tongue do. Whether it's in private. Whether it's in public. Whether it's in social media. The fingers are of course. Giving to us what is coming from the tongue. Is it the kind of folly that is constantly spreading slander.

See the foolish person doesn't really mind. To violate God's standards. To violate God's wisdom. It's not really a concern. And you'll see it as a pattern often times in someone's life. I mean obviously we all struggle with sin.

Amen.

Yes.

So there's a difference between a one off. A moment of sin. And repentance. And grief over that sin. And a pattern in someone's life. The fool consistently pours out folly. It's not something that they're concerned with.

They're not saying. Well I really need to make sure that what I'm saying is true. So the fool will believe things and spread things with no concern for evidence. What's God's law regarding accusations.

What does he say concerning accusations in scripture. Over and over and over. It is a theme throughout the old testament. Into the new testament. Is that you have to make sure that you have two to three what?

Witnesses. That is to say two to three independent lines of witness. That actually can demonstrate something.

By the way.

Just most of you know this now. Just because two or three people are saying something. Doesn't actually mean it's true. Everyone understand that?

Yes.

Somebody could say the standard is two or three. I've got two or three hundred. And that means it's true. It means that we can't receive the accusation. Even begin entertaining it without those independent witnesses.

But the fool will not act wise. Their mouth is loose. Their tongue is constantly wagging. It is moving. And you'll see there's never any concern for justice for the accused. The fool pours out folly in no concern for evidence.

The fool may pour out folly in no requirement for cross examination. They hear something.

They believe it.

And we live, of course, in an age where it is so easy. Easy, easy to spread lies about others. All you have to do is spend a moment typing up.

Push the button.

And now that lie has spread across the entire globe. Literally in an instance. You can do a live video and be talking to people about slander and gossip and stories from Arizona. You can be talking to them in New Zealand.

Live.

Australia.

Live.

All over Africa.

Live.

It is so easy to spread. And the distinction between the wise person and the foolish person is what is actually happening with their mouths. The fool pours out folly.

No need.

No concern for evidence. No concern for cross examination. Somebody can say something. They bite down.

They believe it.

And they spread it. They make sure that message is communicated with their tongue. They just believe the hearsay. They spread it willingly.

They spread it easily.

It pours out folly. Rather than believing the best about somebody, they'll believe the worst about somebody. You've heard that standard. We are, in America, supposed to be seen as innocent until what?

Innocent until proven guilty. Where does that standard come from? It comes from the Bible. So if you like that standard, innocent until proven guilty, you can thank Moses for that one. Innocent until proven guilty is a biblical standard that is set straight through the law of God.

That's what it's supposed to be. But oftentimes we want that for ourselves. You're to see me as innocent until you have proof of my guilt. But we'll spread stories. We'll believe lies. We'll do things to others that we would never want done to us.

We'll tell stories, spread hearsay, give false testimony with no concern for the law of God. For us, oftentimes, for our enemies or our opponents, what's the standard? It's a violation of scripture. It's the opposite.

It's guilty until what? Proven innocence. And so we talk about the wisdom of God, equal weights and measures, the need for cross-examination, all those standards. A wise person uses their tongue rightly.

And you can see it. It's consistent. They're wise. They use their tongue well, whereas the fool will just simply pour out folly. You expect it from them. We need to be asking the question in cases like accusations, where's the proof?

Where's the evidence? Have you talked to the witnesses? You see, the fool will not be concerned with what God is very concerned with. What do we see in the book of Proverbs up to this point? That there are actually things that God hates.

He hates hands that shed innocent blood. And he also hates those who sow discord among the brethren. You know, early on, and you've heard me say this before in the history of the church, one of the things that was detested and they wanted to war against with all of their might was schism.

Being a schismatic was something that was a very bad thing. You didn't want to be accused of being a schismatic, someone who causes divisions within the body. But fools aren't concerned with that. Fools aren't ultimately concerned with God sees this as detestable.

God hates this.

Fools aren't concerned with being a schismatic or causing division or trying to actually build factions amongst God's people and build factions towards themselves or around themselves. Fools pour out folly.

These things aren't a concern for them. So how do you know if someone uses their tongue rightly versus they're a person who pours out folly? You test it by the word of God, the standard of God's wisdom.

Now, don't get me wrong, this is important. When we talk about schism and schismatics and division within the body, oftentimes, and I think we're aware of this at Apologia Church because of the texts that we go to consistently, God has different categories for us in scripture.

We want to be the kind of people who don't always give harsh answers, but sometimes there is a place for a harsh word. Amen? Yes? You see it in Jesus. You see it in Paul. You see it in Jude. You see it in Peter.

It is clear that the prophets speak with harsh words and a serrated edge when necessary, but it shouldn't be the consistent pattern of our lives to live in that lane with that speed of a constant harsh word.

We need to be willing to give soft answers, and we think about the person who pours out folly that builds factions, the person who causes division. We need to say, okay, obviously, God hates that division.

God hates those who sow discord, but oftentimes, if we are wise, we will see the danger of the moment, and we will be willing to cause division for spiritual truth. Amen? Yes?

Yes?

You see Paul.

It's the premier example for us within the life of the local church. The apostle Paul in the book of Galatians actually has the sharpest words. He actually could be accused of causing division to a degree, but it's division for the righteous purpose of safeguarding the gospel and the truth of God, and so oftentimes, we need to make sure that we are aware that, yes, there are times where we need to separate from people because they are denying the core essentials of the Christian faith or the gospel itself.

Paul does. Paul does clearly.

He identifies the false teachers. He confronts their false gospel, and then he makes sure that it's clear you are either with Christ or against Christ. It's either grace or it's law. If you go with them, then Christ is of no benefit to you, and so he says, these false teachers, I hope they cut themselves off.

And so, yes, there are times where somebody could be accused of division for fighting for the truth. You can say Athanasius was being divisive. Athanasius Contramundum, when he was standing for the Trinity over against Arianism, was he being divisive in a sinful way?

In the wisest of ways, he was standing for the truth of the triune God of Holy Scripture and praised God for Athanasius. Actually, I have a tattoo of him on my arm because I love him, the patron saint of post-millennialism.

Look into it. But we need to also look at what this same chapter says here in another way. Look what it says about the fool again in 15 verse 14. Go there.

God says,.

There's the contrast again. Where am I at? Who am I? Where's my heart? What is the disposition of my spirit towards these things? What am I actually like in practice?

Confront yourself.

We need to confront ourselves. Are we wise or are we fools?

It says,.

Notice the depth and the location difference in the contrast. The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge.

That's a deep place. That's a deep place.

The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge. The heart in Scripture used repeatedly. It is over and over again. The heart is that seat of the passions and the will of a person.

Right?

And Jesus identifies where the ultimate place of sin comes from.

Right?

Where does it come from?

The heart.

And Jesus says, you know, out of the heart the mouth speaks. And so there's so much in Scripture about, like, this is the deepest part of you and me. This is what we're really, really like. I mean, we can all talk a good game and put a good face on.

But it is really that seat of the passions, the heart. What is the heart really like? And religious people don't like this. People who are concerned with man-made religion and looking good on the outside aren't really concerned with the status of the heart.

They want to look good to everybody around them. It's got to smell good, look good, appear good. And Jesus confronts that. You're all hypocrites.

You're actors.

You're pretenders.

You're whitewashed tombs.

It looks good on the outside, but inside you're full of dead men's bones. And in Proverbs 15, 14 here it says, the heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge. You want to know. You want to understand.

You want to glorify God. You're dealing with the innermost person. You're dealing with the inside of yourself. Look at the depth of that relationship. And then it says in contrast, but the mouths of fools feed on folly, foolishness.

It's an interesting contrast in a portrait of the person who has depth. It's real. They want the understanding. They want to know versus the fool whose mouth is just open and trying to eat and swallow.

And so it is interesting because when it contrasts the fool with the heart of him who has understanding, they enjoy the table filled with evil delicacies. To them, the fool, a table filled with gossip, slander, injustice, strife, and evil speech is literally a five-course meal.

And they can't wait for dessert. If someone offers them a plate, they open their mouth and bite down.

That is the fool.

They feed on foolishness. It excites them.

They like it.

It's not a problem for them. There's no conviction in the person who is constantly pouring forth foolishness. I think oftentimes, and none of us are in a place where we are fully sanctified.

Amen?

Yes? But I think if you look at a pattern of somebody's writing and posts on, say, Facebook or X or whatever the platform, over a period of a year, and you watch enough time go forth and enough pattern, you can tell if this person is a wise person or if they are a foolish person.

Because you see, you can say all the theological things right, but it is in how you use your tongues and in today how we use our fingers that you will see whether somebody is wise or they are a fool. What is being revealed ultimately is their hearts, the deepest part of their passions and their will, their emotions.

It's what's pouring forth, and so we should challenge ourselves as God's people. What's the record of my speech with my wife, my husband, my kids, within small group communities, with my best and closest friends, my most trusted?

What's the record of my life and my lips and social media and the things that I post and the things that I talk about? Am I a wise person or am I a fool? If I'm God's child, I'm saved, I'm forgiven, I have peace with God, there's no more condemnation.

That means I'm free to actually examine my life and say, what is my tongue really like? And to be able to actually confront that and say, it's wicked, it's evil, it's foolish, I lost my way. God, Lord, make my tongue wise.

Cause my heart, my deepest part of my passions and my will to long for your truth and your wisdom and your goodness and your righteousness. God, fix my mouth, fix my tongue, make me a wise person, conform me to the image of Jesus.

Let me talk like him, let me be like him. The word, law, and wisdom of God is the reference point for whether one is wise or a fool. Jesus says that, right? Jesus says, one of my favorite verses, Jesus says, your word is truth.

Your word is truth. It's God's revelation that is the place of certainty and knowledge and understanding. That's the anchor point for all of us in everything. The gift of eternal life and the security we have in Jesus.

It's the word of God that's our anchor. That's how we know we have eternal life. That's how we know that we know him and we're gonna be secure forever in him because his word says so. We know what we know about God and we say it with certainty.

There is one God who is a triune God. We know that because God said it. It is his word, his revelation that is the truth. It's the standard. It's the plumb line. It's how I know something is actually true.

It is actually right. Our Savior says, thy word is truth. So it is the word, law, and wisdom of God that is the reference point as to whether I am a wise person or a foolish person. So we need to be willing to test our mouths and our tongues.

Ask the question, the fool has it pouring out of his mouth.

Folly.

It is just gushing out of the mouth. Foolishness. Consistently.

Perpetually.

You know you're always gonna get a drink because it pours out of the mouth. So test your tongue. What pours out?

Is it wisdom?

Check the book.

Is it righteous?

Check the book.

Is it holy?

What?

Check the book.

It's an easy one, guys.

Check the book.

Is it godly speech?

Check the book.

And if we really want to see the expression of what a wise mouth and a wise tongue and a heart that longs for God looks like, we need to check the book and look to Jesus and his wisdom next. Proverbs 15 as it confronts our tongues and our mouths once again then gets to this point.

And this is why I wanted to separate the message out because I think it's so vital. In verse 3 it says, The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. Keeping watch on the evil and the good.

The eyes of the Lord are in every place. In scripture, we see so many times that God speaks to us about himself in anthropomorphic terms, right? We'll see things in scripture about the hands of God, the eyes of God.

You'll see those things being used. But we also know in scripture that Jesus says God is what?

Spirit.

God is spirit. And so I'm thinking as I'm catechizing, some of the best times I have for me in this regard is every night, specifically every night, I lay down with August. By the way, we were told you should co-sleep with him so you could bond with him.

That was the worst advice anybody ever gave me. And I would strongly advise never do that because he's five now and I can never get out of bed with him. Every night is like an hour or two hours laying down with August to wait for him to get to sleep.

Pray for me because most of my life is wasted waiting for my five-year-old to go to sleep. Co-sleeping nonsense. I just take Nora and Piper and I go, goodnight girls, out. And it's awesome because they pass right out.

But I'm being tortured now by a five-year-old who rules my life.

Did I just say all that out loud?

Okay.

Some of my favorite conversations are with August at night. We do our catechism and he's just brilliant. Like we got to the third catechism. How do we know that there is a God? Who knows the answer to that one?

How do we know that there is a God? We're going to change the sermon today and we're going to start a catechism. How do we know that there is a God? Who knows the start of that one? The light of nature and man and the works of God plainly declares that there is a God.

But his word and spirit only do effectively reveal him unto us for our salvation.

Okay.

Now my five-year-old got that in two nights. He's a brilliant, brilliant little boy. He just memorizes things just easily. He doesn't say it exactly right. I think he says things a little jarbled because a five-year-old to say effectively is difficult.

But we have some interesting conversations every night where he'll ask very deep questions. Now I can get fights at times with atheists. I can do public moderated debates with like really tough atheists.

But I'll be honest, my five-year-old has asked harder questions than most of the people on the street. And so what's interesting is he'll say things like, well, where is God? Because we talk about God all the time.

We talk about Jesus all the time and the cross and salvation and those things. And he'll say things like, yeah, but where is he? I can't see him. And so we talk about the unseen realm. And we talk about in metaphysics, August, there's this thing of ontology and the doctrine of being.

And I don't really do that.

No.

We talk about the fact that there's different aspects to creation. And God is spirit. And there are things that are true and are real, but you can't see with your physical eye. There's a physical world.

There's a spiritual world. We talk about God who is spirit and God who fills everything. God is not like you, I say. He's not like me. He is very different. We're creatures. We're created by God. But he is so far above us.

And it's not like you can go put your finger on God and he's stuck in that place. God is everywhere at all times. And he's always here, always present, always watching us. But scripture speaks in terms like God's eyes.

And what that actually speaks to is it speaks to God's omnipresence, that he is everywhere at all times. And God's omniscience, that he knows all things. He is everywhere and he knows all. So the text says, the eyes of the Lord are in every place.

He sees all and in every place. It's a comfort. What's interesting about this verse is it comes with some challenges to us about our hearts and our tongues, our mouths, what comes out. But this text is two things.

If you think about it. The eyes of the Lord are in every place is a comfort to God's children.

Amen?

But keeping watch over the good, okay, praise the Lord for that. But also the evil, that's supposed to be something that incites terror and the fear of God in the evil. It's a comfort. Just consider for a moment the child in the home who knows that the parents are there to protect them and to watch over them.

Two weeks ago, I took August to the park near my house. Now, I live in South Phoenix, which is a very interesting place. South Phoenix is very interesting. You could turn a corner and there's like a mansion by the mountain.

And then next to it is a shack dealing drugs. And we have some very interesting characters walking around our neighborhood. And so it could be really sketch. South Phoenix is kind of sketchy. And so the park we went to is, I'll be honest, depends on the time of day you go.

It can be very sketchy. Just don't go past 530 at night. You're relatively safe. So I bring August to the park. It's a really big park. Lots of things to play on. And he's right by my side. And so there's kids all over this thing and they're all older than him.

And I remember it took about 10 or 15 minutes for him to get the courage to actually go and play on this playground. But what actually got him to the point where he went to go play on the playground was when I leaned down to him and I said, August, I love you.

You're safe.

I'm watching you. I'm not going to leave you. I'm watching you and I won't stop watching you.

You're totally safe.

Go have fun. Daddy's right here to watch you. And then he took a breath and then he just went and played. Ran up and down the slides and went crazy and did dangerous things. And I didn't know if I really could save him, to be honest.

But I was watching him and that was a comfort to him was my daddy is watching me. I know that I'm safe because he's keeping watch over me. And so the text here is a blessing or it's a curse. It depends on which category you're in.

You're either the good or you're the evil. If he's watching you, then it's a comfort.

I see you.

I'm watching you.

But it can also be a terror and an indictment. It's witness. It's witness.

I see you.

And this is interesting because it's actually God who has the eyes that are the witness to the evil. He is watching over all. Nothing is being missed. Nothing will ever get lost. He is everywhere at all times and he sees all.

He knows all. And to the wicked, that is an indictment and something that should cause them to fear. It's witness.

I saw you doing it.

And we live in such an amazing time today where, as in the past, where things could happen and it was a one-off. It happens. You better hope somebody was there to see it. You better hope there's enough people there to see it because if only one person saw it, it's really hard to demonstrate and prove.

But we live in a time where we have cameras everywhere and cell phones. We could film and then everybody sees and knows. Everybody can be a witness. And we recognize the power of that today to say, I saw it.

I wasn't even there and I saw it because it's all on film. It's right in front of me.

I see it. I witness it.

We know the power of being able to see. And it says that God sees and God knows. I'm reminded. Some of you guys remember. I can't remember how far back this was. But at one of the local abortion mills, it was Ronald Eunice's mill.

He's a wicked man who has slaughtered so many countless children. There was a team of some of the people from our church body out there ministering to save lives. Many lives have been saved at that abortion mill.

And some friends of ours who were also out there. And one of our friends, Elvis, great name, best singer of all time, by the way. One of our friends, Elvis, was out there. And he had his GoPro on, which we always recommend.

Filming what goes on out there so that you have witnessed what was said and what was done. Oftentimes there's a lot of persecution from the police and from others and claims. So it's good to have that there so that others can see.