Practical Ways to Bless Someone in Need

Your Calvinist

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00:00

This is our first show of 2023 and I'm joined today by my bride and the co-writer for the popular series Interdenominational Meetings.

00:11

And today Jennifer and I are going to be talking about how we show love within the body of Christ.

00:17

How to help people who are in need and how to bless people who are going through a difficult time.

00:22

So I hope you stay with us.

00:24

Conversations with a Calvinist begins right now.

00:50

And welcome back to Conversations with a Calvinist.

00:53

My name is Keith Foskey and I am a Calvinist.

00:57

And as I said just a moment ago, I am joined today by my bride who is my bride of 23 years.

01:04

Had to think about it for a minute.

01:05

We've been together for longer than I can remember.

01:08

Longer.

01:09

We've been together longer than we haven't.

01:11

And so I'm glad to have you on the program.

01:13

And I always like to tell people this.

01:15

I've been doing this show now for a couple of years.

01:17

You've helped me out on a few programs.

01:19

You've come on the podcast.

01:20

And the absolute number one podcast that as far as downloads go that I've ever done is the one that we did on the wife of Martin Luther.

01:27

If you've never heard that particular podcast, you can go and you can find it on the Sermon Audio page that is our church's Sermon Audio page.

01:36

And it's Luther's Beloved Katie is the name of that podcast.

01:40

And it is by far the most downloaded thing I've ever had.

01:43

So Jennifer, thank you for contributing to the success of Conversations with a Calvinist.

01:48

Thank you for having me.

01:49

And I am also a Calvinist.

01:51

Yes, absolutely.

01:53

Yeah.

01:53

Well, I want to always stress that anytime you're on here, then the audience is dealing with two Calvinists.

01:59

And again, I remind everybody that you were so gracious as to get me a shirt for Christmas.

02:04

It says at your Calvinist.

02:05

And if you're unfamiliar, that is my Twitter handle at your Calvinist.

02:08

And my wife, my wife so steers into my nerddom that I love it that that on Christmas morning, I open up a gift.

02:15

And this is one of the gifts that she bought me.

02:17

And I was so, so, so thankful.

02:18

So thank you for that.

02:19

I love you too.

02:20

I love you too.

02:21

And I'm thankful to have you on the program today.

02:23

Well, we have a few new segments on the program.

02:25

As I said in our last episode, when I was when I was with Matthew and Jake, I've got a few segments that I'm going to be bringing in.

02:37

And one of the things that I'm going to be bringing in is each week, I'm going to have what I'm calling craziest thing this week.

02:47

And so we're going to be looking at the craziest thing this week.

02:49

And when I have a guest for craziest thing this week, I make sure that the guest hasn't seen it.

02:55

So what I'm going to be showing you, Jennifer, something you've never seen before, correct? Correct.

02:59

At least you think.

02:59

And I hope it's brand new for some of you in the audience.

03:01

And I do want to give a shout out to Lloyd Legalist.

03:04

This is one of the guys I follow on Twitter.

03:05

He posts some really funny stuff.

03:07

And this was actually something that he posted.

03:09

So I found it through him.

03:10

But this is a church that put on a play about the nativity.

03:14

And they took some creative liberties with the nativity.

03:18

So I want to share it with you and have I want to get Jennifer's thoughts on this.

03:23

If it's not Joseph's, then whose is it? Yeah.

03:29

She teaches the kids in the temple.

03:32

But she's pregnant.

03:36

But press, press, press, press, press.

03:38

Mary's got all the press.

03:39

G-O-double-double-X.

03:41

Silly, she's feeling all the stress.

03:50

G-O-double-S-I-P.

03:52

Hear about that girl, Mary.

03:54

Hope she has an alibi or maybe some big crazy lie.

03:57

G-O-double-S-I-P.

03:59

Hear about that girl, Mary.

04:01

What she said is disregarded.

04:03

All her trouble getting started.

04:05

Press, press, press, press, press.

04:06

Mary's got all the press.

04:08

G-O-double-double-X.

04:10

Silly, she's feeling all the stress.

04:12

Telling stories, never making sense.

04:14

Figured she would try to take a rest.

04:15

The word off the street.

04:17

Mary's in the heat.

04:19

G-O-double-S-I-P.

04:21

Hear about that girl, Mary.

04:22

Hope she has an alibi or maybe some big crazy lie.

04:26

G-O-double-S-I-P.

04:28

Hear about that girl, Mary.

04:29

What she said is disregarded.

04:32

All her trouble getting started.

04:33

Press, press, press, press, press.

04:35

Mary's got all the press.

04:37

G-O-double-double-S.

04:39

Silly, she's feeling all the stress.

04:40

Telling stories, never making sense.

04:42

Figured she would try to take a rest.

04:44

The word off the street.

04:46

Mary's in the heat.

04:48

G-O-double-S-I-P.

04:49

The word on the street is Mary is in the...

04:52

I mean, I'm not one for just calling everything blasphemy.

04:57

That's a little weird.

04:59

Jennifer, give me your initial thoughts.

05:01

Had you seen that? I've never seen that.

05:04

I was not prepared to see this.

05:06

I think half the audience, especially the audience who are hearing this are going to be like, what in the world did he just make me listen to? This was, again, the story of Christmas from Victory Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

05:16

And they took some liberties with the story.

05:20

I like the fact that they said Mary taught in the temple.

05:22

I was thinking that very same thing initially right out of the gate.

05:25

It was like, what translation of the Bible are they reading? I don't know.

05:28

Where does that come from? And Mary didn't live really near the temple.

05:33

She was in a different area.

05:37

Yeah.

05:38

But what are your...

05:39

Okay, so let's paint a picture.

05:42

You visited a church.

05:43

Somebody said, hey, come to my Christmas play.

05:47

What are your initial thoughts? There's just so much.

05:53

But my first thought was the very first sentence right out of the gate about Mary teaching in the temple.

05:57

And then it progressively just, the train derailed from that point on.

06:02

I'm not sure I could sit and watch anything like this.

06:07

Definitely.

06:07

I don't think it would add to the spirit of the season.

06:10

No.

06:11

Seems to me like it would be sort of a, just sort of take you out of it.

06:15

You see what you've done, Chosen.

06:18

You've gotten so creative.

06:21

The creators of Chosen have gotten so creative with the Jesus story.

06:24

Everybody thinks they have to one-up them.

06:26

And this is what you get.

06:27

I think this is progressives and Big Eva come together.

06:32

Yeah.

06:32

Oh, this is definitely, if we were looking at the interdenominational meeting, this would be if the progressives and Big Eva had a baby.

06:39

Yes.

06:40

This is it.

06:41

This is it.

06:41

So that is, of course, as I said, my friends, that was the craziest thing this week.

06:48

All right.

06:50

Now we are going to move on to another segment, segment that I'm going to start having.

06:54

Anytime I have a guest on, I want to play a little game.

06:57

And I want to credit someone.

06:59

I was recently on Claude Ramsey's show, really enjoyed it.

07:02

And again, I've talked about it on my last program.

07:05

Claude is such a great brother, such a sweet man.

07:07

And he played a little game.

07:09

Well, we have a game that we are going to play today.

07:13

And this game is called Battle of the Decades.

07:16

Battle of the Decades is a card game.

07:19

And these cards have questions from the 80s, 90s, 2000s and 2010s.

07:26

So these are trivia questions.

07:28

They are in a, in a, in a card deck.

07:31

And I'm going to ask a trivia question and see how well you do.

07:36

And if you win, you get a hundred cool points, which can later be turned in for nothing.

07:40

So this is absolutely for, this is for being able to say you won only.

07:46

I cannot wait to get uncle Rich on the program to play this game with him because he is so he's a little competitive.

07:51

He's a little more competitive.

07:53

So, but, but you're competitive too, for you guys who don't know me and me and Jennifer, like we go bowling.

08:00

She's going to make sure she wants to, she's well, she's going to win.

08:04

Cause I'm, I'm a terrible bowler.

08:05

We played chess the other night.

08:06

She beat me at chess.

08:08

I can't, I'm not even sure I could beat her in arm wrestling.

08:10

I'm just being honest with you.

08:11

This is just, just, just, she's so good.

08:13

Yeah.

08:14

You want to go? You want to go? All right.

08:16

So this is, I, you get to choose whether you want to pick from the eighties, the nineties, the two thousands or the 2010s.

08:26

Now I contend that I'm an eighties baby.

08:29

You contend you're a nineties child.

08:32

I explain that.

08:35

Now we were born the same year.

08:37

So I guess technically I am an eighties baby, but I feel I was a teenager in the nineties and I just feel like I understand more of the media from that time than the eighties.

08:49

That's it.

08:50

Well, I love everything in the eighties.

08:52

So so that's why I always, I consider myself a child of the eighties, but you get to be, you get to choose whatever decade you want.

08:59

And I'm going to, I'm going to read from this card.

09:01

And if you win again, you get to have bragging rights for the rest of today's program.

09:06

If, if, if you win.

09:07

So let's see, what decade do you want? I'll do the nineties.

09:13

Of course.

09:14

I didn't even have to really shouldn't even have asked.

09:16

Okay.

09:17

You're going to do the nineties.

09:18

All right.

09:18

So we are doing the nineties.

09:20

What was launched into orbit on the 24th of April, 1990.

09:29

Haley's Comet or, uh, no.

09:35

What? The Hubble, the Hubble.

09:37

That's what it is.

09:39

Oh my goodness.

09:41

You better.

09:41

No, I'm not editing a thing.

09:43

Yes, you are.

09:44

This is going on.

09:45

This is, I love you.

09:47

That was funny.

09:48

What was launched in orbit? Haley's Comet.

09:50

Well, I think that's been around for a little longer than, uh, and we didn't launch that in any way.

09:55

Okay.

09:55

Was I right? The second time? Yes.

09:58

Hubble was correct.

09:59

Hubble was, was the right answer.

10:01

Okay.

10:01

Well, do you want to, you want to get me back? All right.

10:03

You want to try to get me back? You get to pick.

10:06

It's difficult to be in the hot seat.

10:07

It's difficult to be in the hot seat.

10:08

All right.

10:08

Well, this game's going to go now.

10:10

Let's go to battle of the decades.

10:13

I'm going to choose the eighties because the eighties are awesome.

10:19

Which Spanish golfer? Can you name a Spanish golfer in the world that I'm going to get that closer? No, don't get too far.

10:45

Oh, okay.

10:47

Finishes there.

10:47

What Spanish golfer won the masters championship twice in the 1980s more than any other player? You can't Google it.

10:59

Okay.

11:00

I was pulling up the notes for the show.

11:03

Um, uh, oh, I have no idea, but that is hilarious.

11:08

Um, uh, who was it? I was going to say Steve, but it's Steve Ballesteros.

11:24

Okay.

11:25

All right.

11:25

So that game is over.

11:27

That was bad.

11:28

That was bad.

11:29

Okay.

11:29

But this is fun.

11:34

Now we're going to move on to the actual heart of the show where we're going to be talking about practical ways to bless someone in a time of need.

11:44

Uh, and we're going to start by giving a little bit of testimony to something that happened to us, uh, just a few months ago.

11:53

Our child, uh, our sixth child was born on September the 20th.

12:00

Okay.

12:00

I was, we have six of them.

12:02

So I forget the birth date.

12:03

Sometimes he was born on September the 20th, 2022.

12:07

And, uh, it was a, was a awesome birth.

12:11

Mama did a great job.

12:12

Baby was born.

12:13

He was beautiful.

12:14

Looked just like our other son, JJ, except for he had an old man.

12:18

Look at a face of an old man.

12:20

Looked like the guy from the princess bride.

12:24

Inconceivable.

12:26

Inconceivable.

12:28

Inconceivable.

12:29

Inconceivable.

12:30

You keep using that word.

12:32

I don't think it means what you think it means.

12:35

I disagree.

12:37

Anyway, but, um, Theo came along and he had a few issues, uh, a few health issues, nothing major praise the Lord.

12:45

It wasn't anything that was life threatening, but they were things that caused us to, um, have some difficulties with him as far as, uh, comforting him, soothing him.

12:56

One of the big things was he had something called a tongue tie, which was a, uh, a problem with his tongue.

13:03

And the, the, the, the piece of skin that connects to the bottom of his mouth was, was, uh, went all the way to the end of his tongue.

13:10

So when he opened his mouth, his little tongue made a heart shape and couldn't stick his tongue out of his mouth.

13:15

Yep.

13:15

So he had a hard time with, uh, feeding him and things like that.

13:19

So, so that was one thing made it very difficult for him to be satisfied, made it very difficult for him to sleep.

13:25

So, because he wasn't sleeping very well, guess who else wasn't sleeping well, mama and daddy.

13:32

So, uh, he also had a time where I think he, uh, had some colicky issues and I'm not sure that that wasn't related to the tongue tie.

13:39

So we had a lot of, a lot of just difficult nights and, um, we had a lot of people reach out to us and bless us during that time.

13:51

And a lot of them were, were church folks, not, not all from our church, even though there were several people from our church, but they were also some friends of ours from other churches.

14:02

And, uh, we wanted to just talk about some of the ways that people blessed us, some of the practical ways, um, because we wanted to address that from the, from the perspective of these are some practical ideas that if you know that there's someone in your church or in your life who is going through a time of difficulty, this might be a way for you to bless them.

14:23

Um, the first thing is a lot, a lot of people offer to bring food.

14:28

Yeah.

14:29

And, uh, I, you know, we shout out to like the Decker's and, uh, Crystal's mom, uh, Crystal Roden's mom made us a wonderful meal.

14:38

Um, miss, uh, Sharon, the Therese family brought us a meal, miss, miss the Smith family.

14:46

And again, if we forget anybody by name, please understand that we are very grateful for everyone.

14:51

Some people did some gift cards for some meals, which were very, very grateful.

14:56

Yeah.

14:56

Marianne Alcadon and her husband Saddam.

14:58

So we're very grateful for everyone who did that.

15:01

And food is food is helpful.

15:03

Um, but there are some difficulties with food.

15:06

And since we're talking about practical things, here's some things that I just wanted to bring out.

15:11

And, and, and Jennifer, I'm sure you have some ideas on this.

15:13

When, when things like allergies come up, you know, for us, like Jennifer's gluten-free and not, not by choice.

15:19

A lot of people are gluten-free because of a choice, but Jennifer actually has a, an allergy to gluten, which makes that something that she has to deal with.

15:30

And so that, that makes it a little harder to bring people food.

15:34

So, so there are some, there are some times where bringing food is a little bit more difficult when it comes to things like allergies, or when it comes to, um, not, not always being sure what people eat, you know, like I said, we were very grateful for everything people brought us.

15:50

And thankfully we have kids who don't have any allergies.

15:52

So even if, even if Jennifer wasn't able to eat something, the kids were able to eat it.

15:56

It was great.

15:57

Um, but, but that's one of the things you have to think about if you're, if you're wanting to provide food for people, food can be a great comfort.

16:04

In fact, we, we use the phrase comfort food and food can be a comfort.

16:09

Um, one of the ways that you can, um, one of the ways that you can have a food ministry in your church is there are websites that are specifically designed.

16:20

Can you tell us about one of the websites that we use? We used, um, take them a meal.com.

16:24

And, um, there's also, I think Ana used meal train, but they both are very similar.

16:30

And what's great about it is you can see a schedule for the week and you can see what people, people can type in what they're bringing.

16:36

So it's not, everybody's bringing chicken every night, you know, it can be sad.

16:41

That's another thing.

16:43

It gives you a little bit more variety and you can look on, you can say, okay, there's seven nights and the, you know, the Smiths are going over on Monday night and the Teresa's are going over Tuesday night and the rodents are going over Wednesday night.

16:55

So it helps because you can see people's names.

16:58

So yeah.

16:59

So that's one, one recommendation, very practical.

17:01

If you've never heard of that, probably you have, especially if you're in a church, but if you've never heard of it.

17:06

Yeah.

17:06

And again, we're, we're not sponsored by any of we're not giving you these because we're getting anything for this.

17:11

This is all just things that we have used as a ministry at our church and might be a benefit to you.

17:17

So, um, taking meals is, is very helpful.

17:21

Um, can I add something? Sure.

17:22

Jump in real quick.

17:23

Um, part, I mean, not only the meal, I mean, of course, obviously to feed your family and, but the first couple of weeks postpartum, I mean, you're barely know what day it is.

17:33

So, I mean, it's just the last thing that you want to do is to go into the kitchen and cook and eating out or bringing all of that is very costly and expensive.

17:44

So it's just, it's kind of one more thought about, and not just postpartum, but I mean, if you have people in your church, maybe that are having surgery or, um, death of a family member, or I guess there are many different reasons why you, it doesn't just have to be an expecting mom.

18:02

Yeah.

18:03

And that's the other thing too, the subject we're talking about today is helping out people in need.

18:08

And a little while we're going to be answering some questions from Twitter.

18:11

And, and one of the questions, if I remember correctly, does deal with, um, different types of need.

18:16

So we'll, we'll talk about that a little bit more later, but that's right.

18:19

It doesn't have to be postpartum.

18:20

It can be things as, uh, as simple as, um, someone going to the hospital.

18:26

If somebody had surgery, then especially if it's one of the parents or even one of the kids, you know, providing a meal to help them.

18:35

Uh, and again, it's just, it's a way of showing love, but it's also a way of providing a encouraging, um, help a practical, again, the, the, the whole goal of this podcast is talking about practical ways that you can help people.

18:49

And that's one of them.

18:51

Um, one of the things that was done for us also, and again, I made a list here of things and it was people offered to come sit with the baby.

19:01

Like Sharon, uh, came over and sat with the baby.

19:04

Uh, and, uh, we even had one of our friends who's a wife of a fellow pastor of another church who actually came and sat all night, uh, with the baby, which was, I mean, was an amazing offer.

19:17

She, she, she knew that we were going through a difficult time.

19:21

She knew that we hadn't had much rest.

19:23

She knew that it was just really difficult for us.

19:26

And she reached out to Jennifer, her name's Dawn.

19:29

Dawn, we say, thank you so much.

19:31

Uh, you know, don't cry.

19:33

But, but, you know, it was, it was like, you know, you know, can I come over and sit up with the baby and let you guys rest? And it was just, it was like, wow, that, that was a, that was a, that, that was a level of, um, a level of support that we didn't expect.

19:53

And, and so we're very grateful for that.

19:56

So again, that's another way of that, that whole going the extra mile, going above and beyond doing something more than is expected.

20:03

Um, and somebody might say, isn't that, you know, is, isn't that a lot to ask of somebody? Well, we didn't ask.

20:10

She was so gracious as to offer.

20:13

And we're going to talk about that a little bit later in the show too.

20:15

Cause one of the questions from Twitter deals with the issue of how do we deal with people who don't, don't know how to ask for help.

20:23

Sometimes, sometimes you just offer the help and, and you not, you don't push your way in, but you, you show that you're willing.

20:31

And, and, you know, when, when, when, when Don showed her willingness, that was a wonderful, wonderful thing.

20:38

Uh, another one was, um, was when uncle Rich, you guys know, uncle Rich, he's a favorite of the program and, uh, one of my best friends in the world and uncle Rich and his daughter Taylor and, uh, another dear friend of ours, uh, Cynthia came over and, and straighten up our house for us one day.

20:58

And again, it was, it had been, it had been a rough time.

21:02

We were not sleeping well.

21:03

Um, things were battling sickness on top of that.

21:07

Yeah.

21:07

That was, that was one of the reasons they wanted to help us because our kids, we went through a time where our kids had the flu.

21:13

I had to take our five-year-old to the hospital and a shout out to, to Wolfson's North side.

21:21

The doctor there was incredible.

21:23

He was awesome.

21:24

She still talks about it to this day.

21:26

She drives by and goes, that's my hospital because the guy was so sweet to her and, and, and did a really great job, but she had the flu and other, our other children were sick.

21:36

Well, um, we were, we were very concerned that, uh, our baby was going to get it.

21:42

So we were sort of quarantining within the house and that's a difficult thing to do.

21:47

But, um, you know, uncle Rich called me and said, Hey, you need to leave the house for a few hours and we're going to come over and we're going to sterilize your house and get all the funk out of the house.

21:57

And, uh, I mean, it was a wonderful blessing.

22:00

And so again, we're, we're, we're so grateful for all of this.

22:04

And again, the whole idea of above and beyond, right? This is, this is what today is about.

22:09

This is what the podcast is about.

22:10

How can you bless somebody? Um, and I've seen this done in other instances, uh, within our own church where we've had people who have been sick and women from the church have gone to that person and clean their home and things like that.

22:23

And, and, and, and that is such an amazing gift because, you know, it only takes a few days when you have little ones, especially sick little ones for the house to begin to, uh, to, to accumulate, uh, you know, things pile up, things get, you know, dishes and everything else.

22:41

And, and you try to keep it clean.

22:43

You try to keep it, but when you're exhausted and you're, you're, you're, um, you know, things are happening.

22:49

So, so again, these are all ways that people blessed us.

22:52

And we're just saying to you, the audience, okay, you're in a church or maybe you're, you're, you're, you have people from another church that, you know, they're brothers and sisters in Christ going through a need.

23:02

How can you bless them? Again, a lot of our, a lot of our blessing came from church members, but some of our blessings came from people who were not members of our church.

23:12

And so we had both, we had the blessing of being able to say, Hey, we had a church members.

23:19

We had brothers and sisters in Christ who weren't church members.

23:22

And we had family.

23:23

And, and again, I want to give a huge shout out to, to the grandparents, you know, who really came through in, in, in various ways.

23:32

Uh, and, um, and we're willing to help.

23:35

Um, you know, so, so these were all things, um, and, and, and, and as I said, when, when we think about these, we think about that, that all that happened, we wanted to give these ideas.

23:50

And, and one of the things I would like for you to do, if you're listening to this on YouTube, or you're listening to this on, uh, on any of the other platforms that have a way to comment, if you have practical ways that have, that people have blessed you, or maybe that you have, uh, ideas for how you have blessed others, please put those in the comments and, uh, share your ideas, share your thoughts.

24:15

Cause the whole idea of today's podcast is how can we be better at being the church to one another? How can we be better at ministering to one another? Jennifer, you have any thoughts before we move on to some of the questions from Twitter and Facebook? Yeah, I was thinking throughout all of this, um, if you, instead of asking, maybe like, can I help you? Or what can I do? Because sometimes that answer automatically is like, what's okay.

24:44

Right.

24:44

I'm okay.

24:45

I think being more direct and saying, here's what I can do.

24:51

I, you know, or think of a need that someone else has that you can fulfill.

24:57

Um, maybe make it more of a direct statement.

24:59

I guess it kind of goes with what you said, but.

25:01

Yeah, no, no, I have, I actually have that right here.

25:04

Um, the, that I had that in my notes, actually, I said, all, all of our blessings were unprompted.

25:10

We, we didn't go around asking for people to do things, maybe the grandparents, but, but a lot of our friends and, and church members and brothers and sisters in Christ just recognize those needs.

25:23

Like I said, uncle Rich just called me, Hey man, you need to get, you need to get a house.

25:26

Yeah.

25:26

Rich, rich.

25:27

And I got to have that kind of relationship.

25:29

You'd be gone on Saturday.

25:30

We're coming and we're going to clean your house.

25:32

You know, that kind of thing is a, um, the, the, like I said, you got to have a relationship with someone to be able to do that.

25:39

And that's again, another reason why having relationships within the body are important to be able to, to be able to speak into someone's life and not just, uh, not just have superficial relationships, but to try to have something a little bit more meaningful.

25:53

And on a side note, if you're on the edge and you say, well, I don't really need my, I don't really need a church or I can be a Christian without the church.

26:01

It's like, what about when you go through times in the Valley? I mean, who are you going to lean on? Who's going to be there? That's right.

26:09

That's right.

26:09

Absolutely.

26:10

Absolutely.

26:11

And, and, and again, the, the, the church family, the body of Christ, uh, both universal and local, the body of Christ around the world and the local body of Christ.

26:23

These are the people we're going to spend eternity with.

26:25

These are the people that God has given us as our, our brothers and sisters.

26:31

And so it's wonderful to have brothers and sisters who care for you and who, you know, as I said, a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

26:39

Um, we've seen that we've been, we've been very thankful for that.

26:44

So what I'm going to do now is I'm going to switch over to, um, I'm going to switch over first to Facebook because we did have this on our Facebook page.

26:54

Uh, and if you're not a member of the group conversations with the Calvinist, if you're on Facebook, go over to, uh, just look up conversations with a Calvinist Facebook group, and you can join.

27:06

We are getting close to a thousand members.

27:08

So, uh, people post stuff almost every day and you can, uh, get information about latest podcasts from us.

27:14

You can also find out more about the network that we're a part of.

27:18

Now we're part of the truth and love network, and we've got other podcasters like Claude Ramsey.

27:22

I mentioned earlier, Tyler, Tyler, Noe, uh, and, and, uh, Robert, who's the leader of the group and a few other guys who have, who have showed you can learn about all of them there, uh, by going to conversation with the Calvinist and, uh, becoming part of this group.

27:35

They all, they all put their information on there too.

27:37

So there's plenty, there's great information there at the, at the conversation with the Calvinist Facebook group.

27:43

So here's, here's the first, um, the first question, and this comes from, this comes from Facebook and it's, uh, from Kevin Thompson.

27:54

Kevin, thank you for sending in a question.

27:57

He says, do you have a test or application for people in need to fill out? Several churches I'm familiar with have something like that in place.

28:07

And, um, right away, I responded to him a little bit in text, but I said I was going to talk about it on the program too.

28:13

Um, I do think that there's a difference in, um, structured ministry within the church and what we might say as just individuals loving one another.

28:27

You know, the scripture calls us to love one another, support one another, encourage one another, admonish one another.

28:31

And we have all those one and others.

28:32

In fact, if you, if you're interested on our summon audio page, you can go back brother Andy, who is one of our elders and brother Mike, the other, one of our other elders, they did a, they did a series where they co taught through the one another passages, talk about love one another, you know, uh, all of those things.

28:48

So if you're interested in learning more about that, you can go find that series on our sermon audio page.

28:54

But, um, having said that, uh, I don't think, uh, I don't, I know that we don't have an application process for the needs of our church, but I can see that being useful, particularly in regard to if you're doing ministry outside the church.

29:14

And by that, I mean for within the world, like let's say you have a food bank there.

29:20

Our church doesn't have a food bank right now.

29:22

We have in the past right now, we just, we don't have the ability to do that at the moment.

29:27

Um, but a lot of churches do and churches who have successful food banks often do have processes by which they can bring people in and, um, and screen them for, uh, well, for lack of a better term for abusing it.

29:50

We've seen people who've abused, uh, uh, uh, abused the church, people who maybe don't have legitimate needs or, but are just abusing the, the, the, the free gifts.

30:02

And, uh, and so there, we don't, again, we don't have a structured ministry like that at our church for giving out food or something like that.

30:11

We do provide when people have needs, but it's not as structured as that.

30:16

So if you are putting together a food bank, if you're putting together something that's designed specifically, and, and we're, we're actually in the process of reworking ours.

30:24

We've, the deacons have been doing that.

30:26

Oh, and by the way, that brings up another thought.

30:29

Our structure in our church right now is really structured through the deacons.

30:35

Uh, when we, when, when, when there's a need in the body, when there's something going on within the body, uh, we try to do that through the deacons and have the deacons be the first line of letting the elders know what the need is so that those needs can, um, can be met.

30:52

So that, that w it's not an application process, but there is a, there is a structure.

30:57

Do you have any thoughts on that as we, okay.

31:00

All right.

31:01

Well, that that's, that's from, uh, Facebook.

31:04

And again, I thank you for, for sending in that question.

31:06

I'm going to jump over now to the Twitter page, Twitter page.

31:09

I got a little bit more response when I posted that question a little while ago.

31:14

And, um, so give me a second to pull it up here.

31:20

Uh, I also posted something earlier about the Sabbath, a little video on the Sabbath, which is sort of blown up.

31:25

So it's got a lot more attention.

31:27

Um, so let me pull up this question.

31:31

Okay.

31:31

All right.

31:32

We have five questions here on the, on the Twitter page regarding, um, regarding the, the issue of how to help people.

31:43

Uh, the first one is how do you minister to people that are quote just fine in quote, but have obvious needs ministry to those who don't take quote charity in quote.

31:56

And this is a from, I'm only here for the memes.

31:59

Thank you for sending in that.

32:01

I love that, that, that, uh, love that name.

32:04

I'm only here for the memes.

32:04

And he put a, uh, a picture from, he put a meme.

32:08

He did put a meme.

32:09

I love it.

32:09

He put a me, he actually put a gif.

32:12

Is it gift or Jeff? I've heard it both ways.

32:15

I've heard it both ways.

32:16

I've heard it both ways.

32:17

Okay.

32:17

All right.

32:18

So, so it's a gif and I think, and it is the, um, from Monty Python and the Holy Grail where the guy gets the two arms cut off and he's standing there with two arms and he goes, Oh, it's but a flesh wound, but a scratch, a scratch your arms off.

32:35

No, it isn't.

32:35

And I get what he's saying.

32:36

He said, you know, you got somebody who is, who's in serious need, but they either don't want to recognize that they're in need.

32:44

They don't want to admit that they're in need.

32:47

They've got something going on that they don't want.

32:51

They, they, they just, they, and I, and I think what he said is true.

32:55

People say, well, I don't want to take charity.

32:57

I mean, have we experienced that people that we wanted to help and that didn't want to have the help? Usually we know.

33:04

Yeah.

33:04

I mean, well, that's what he's saying.

33:06

He's saying we can know, but then when you go to that person and you say, Hey, can I help you? And they say, no, I'd probably try in that situation to just maybe not ask, can I help you or say, maybe direct it to say, are you struggling with this? I can do X, Y, and Z for you.

33:29

Yeah.

33:31

I think that's set up a meal train for you.

33:34

Oh, do you, I don't know, have the relationship enough where you would just be able to say what you're going to do.

33:41

I think, I think that's a very good point.

33:43

And, and what you're essentially saying is how you word it.

33:48

And I do think this is a big part of it.

33:50

If you go, if you say to somebody who, you know, is in a difficult situation, Hey, can I help you? The natural, the natural tendency for people is to say, no, I got it.

34:02

I'm good.

34:03

I mean, I even said that when we were, when we were struggling with Theo in the first couple of weeks, people would say, Oh, can we help you? Oh no, we got it.

34:13

When at the same, I mean, when, when we weren't sleeping, when we, when we obviously didn't got it, but there was a sense in which it was a little bit, it was a little bit of an embarrassment to admit that we didn't got it great English in it.

34:31

But that was the, that was the thought, right? Was that, you know, well, I know we, I know we probably do need help, but it's easier just to do it ourselves.

34:41

It's easier just to say, no, thank you.

34:43

We'll handle this ourselves.

34:45

When at the same time, the thing that we needed to do was get over ourselves and be willing to allow people to love on us.

34:55

And like I said, the people that were the people that, that like uncle Rich, who just sort of said, Hey, we're going to come and help you.

35:02

That was, that was nice.

35:04

And again, could I have said, no, you're not.

35:07

Yeah.

35:07

But when it was, when he saw the need and he was a little bit more I don't want to say pushy because it wasn't pushy.

35:17

It wasn't, it wasn't negative, but it was more, it was more affirmative.

35:21

This is what we want to do for you.

35:24

And we want to bless you.

35:25

And we don't want anything for it.

35:27

We're not asking you to pay us.

35:28

We're not asking you to, you know, for any of that we're saying, this is what we want to do.

35:32

And we want to come and bless you.

35:34

And you know, that can be a difficult thing, but my encouragement to you, if you're on the other side of this, if you're in a situation where you have a need and you're afraid, you know, Oh, they're going to see my dirty dishes or they're going to see my, you know, that my, that my baseboards aren't as clean as they should be or whatever, where I've got a pile of dirty clothes that haven't been washed.

35:54

And you, that vulnerability, that's what I was trying to say.

35:57

You're exposing yourself.

35:58

You're being vulnerable.

35:59

And, and so I, I would say that too, to I'm only here for the memes.

36:05

When we have people in our churches and in our life who have needs and don't want other people to help them, it's often because they are afraid to feel vulnerable.

36:18

And sometimes that's because they've been hurt before.

36:20

Sometimes they have been in situations where they have had their trust violated.

36:26

And so that's a big thing.

36:29

If you're going to support someone and love someone, don't violate their trust.

36:34

Don't you know, don't use what you learn about them to against them, you know, love them.

36:41

And, and, and, you know, how many horror stories have been told about the people being hurt by the church or hurt within the church.

36:50

And, and if we're setting out to love people, then you know, we should, we should definitely consider that one of the reasons people don't want to take help is because they're afraid of being vulnerable.

37:02

It's a good point.

37:04

I think of that made me think when you were explaining that the song by casting crowns, a stained glass masquerade that we have a tendency to kind of put on like we're shiny, happy people in the song all the time that that's just the way you don't really know what people are dealing with or how they're hurting.

37:24

Not on Sunday morning, because of course, Sunday morning you're wearing your nicest clothes.

37:30

Yeah, it is.

37:32

It is a truthful song, you know, shining plastic people under shining plastic steeples, but, but, you know, with all these things to hide their vulnerabilities, we don't want to be vulnerable.

37:54

And even on the show today, we, Jennifer and I are being vulnerable because we've, we're talking about the fact that we had a need, people helped us and, and we're being vulnerable because some people might say, well, you're, you, you, you should have just, you suck it up.

38:08

Yeah, well, it was hard and people loved us enough to help us and we're grateful.

38:15

And that's what we're trying to say is you can love other people too.

38:20

And if people don't want to be loved, if people don't want to take your help, you can't make them, but you can, you can be more thoughtful in how you offer it.

38:33

Rather than just saying, Hey, can I help you? They, Hey, I understand, you know, you have a new baby, you're having trouble.

38:40

Can I come over one day and just hold the baby for a couple hours and let you take a nap? That's a, that's an offer that we got a few times.

38:48

Can I come cut your grass? Yeah.

38:52

Can I come or, Hey, I'm going to come over Saturday and cut your grass.

38:55

I know that that's needed and I'm going to do it.

39:00

So those are, those are some, thank you again.

39:03

I'm only here for the memes.

39:04

Love it.

39:05

Appreciate you.

39:08

Moving on to another question here.

39:10

I did have one, somebody asked a question about people who, who deal with, who struggle with depression.

39:15

And I want to say this.

39:17

I even said this, I responded to him on Twitter and I said, I think that that's a, that's a whole show unto itself.

39:22

And I was interviewed on Chris Arnzen's show, Iron Sharpens Iron on the subject of depression, as it's something I've experienced myself personally.

39:32

And if you are interested in that, send me an email at calvinistpodcasts at gmail.com and I'll give you a link to that show.

39:40

And it's a, it's an entire program on the subject of ministering to people who have depression.

39:46

All right.

39:47

Another question is, do you have different care groups to cover certain actions? How do you get people engaged in the ministry and then monitor for potential burnout? So we sort of answered this earlier, but I'll reiterate in our church.

40:05

We believe the care groups, the care group is the deacons.

40:09

They, they, now they have the ability to establish little groups of their own or do however they want to.

40:18

But ultimately they're the first line of defense.

40:20

So, and as far as burnout goes, a lot of churches rotate their deacons.

40:25

We, we tell our deacons if they ever need time off, they're welcome to take, you know, sabbaticals or whatever.

40:30

And, and there's no issue with that if they need time to take or for burnout.

40:36

So, but you and I have been parts of part of ministry teams over the years.

40:40

I mean, our church has changed over the years.

40:41

It hasn't always been the same.

40:43

What do you think? Can you think of any, any, any groups we've been a part of that were especially successful? And the answer.

40:51

Well, it's not really a care group, but I remember we used to have cookies and people that would visit the church.

40:57

We would, I guess it's not really a care group, but in a way it was because you would go into people's homes or you would get to talk to them or just.

41:05

Yeah, that was actually the cookie minute.

41:07

That's what's funny.

41:08

I haven't thought about the cookie ministry in a while.

41:10

I'm always thinking about cookies.

41:13

Well, the cookie ministry was when new folks would visit the church.

41:20

But it would usually turn into a care part because you would go.

41:24

I enjoy meeting new people.

41:25

I like to talk to visitor, especially visitors.

41:29

And I don't know, I enjoyed, but because you would learn about them and their needs at that time and could follow.

41:37

Absolutely.

41:38

Absolutely.

41:40

Visiting people is helpful again, not just as a pastor and a pastor's wife, but within the church, the people that I know in our church that tend to have the best fellowship are those who are actually in each other's homes.

41:56

And so when you're in each other's homes, you see needs, you see things, and you're able to, again, not judge people, but love people and offer up help.

42:09

I'll tell you something else talking about these care groups.

42:12

We used to do this.

42:12

We don't do it anymore.

42:14

And I've thought about bringing it back on just time and everything is keeps me from it right now.

42:19

But at some point I'm probably going to bring it back.

42:21

And that is something we used to do called Dads and Dudes.

42:25

Dads and Dudes is me.

42:31

I'm a sucker for alliteration, conversation with a Calvinist, Dads and Dudes.

42:35

It's just my thing.

42:37

And what Dads and Dudes was a ministry to men where we would meet twice a month on a Tuesday night and we would share needs and struggles that we were having, whether it was with family worship, whether it was with our own personal Bible study, it was our own issues.

42:57

And that gave some of the best times I can remember.

43:00

Some of the most productive times I remember came from the Dads and Dudes ministry where men were willing to be vulnerable.

43:09

We had men who came in and broke down, who cried, who hurt.

43:14

And I mean, we left feeling like real brothers.

43:18

So yeah, I mean, it doesn't always have to be groups that are, you know, hospital ministries, which are great.

43:22

And I've trained people how to do hospital ministries and stuff like that.

43:25

But sometimes just people getting together and sharing their needs is a big thing.

43:30

I also think we have a women's group that meets once a week and Anne is a phenomenal teacher.

43:38

And we have that kind of close to like Dads and Dudes that you were talking about.

43:43

I have very much felt that over the years with the women there.

43:47

We've cried, we've prayed together.

43:52

We have just become a lot closer together because of that, because of the study.

43:56

All right.

43:57

And that was actually Justin at Glorybound13.

44:00

Thank you, Justin, for sending in that question on Twitter.

44:03

I appreciate it.

44:04

And the question before that about the depression was Aaron Hand.

44:06

So Aaron, thank you so much for that.

44:08

We're going to come to our last question now.

44:10

This is from R.B.

44:13

and he sent in this question.

44:15

Speaking of ministries of helps, he said, should this type of ministry prioritize those who are members of our same local church over believers from other churches, over unbelievers we know? And is service alone enough to ensure this is done in Jesus name? Or must we share the gospel explicitly too? Thanks and God bless.

44:36

R.B., that's several questions in a row.

44:40

Right away, I would say that I do believe that we prioritize the body of Christ first.

44:51

I think that we see this in scripture where there is a giving of deference and priority to the brothers and sisters in Christ.

45:01

And there are times where Paul talks about giving the opportunity to offend the world or offend a brother, then we're going to offend the world, basically, just to always seek to minister first within the body of Christ.

45:14

And a lot of churches see that the opposite, like, no, no, we have to win the world so we can offend our brother.

45:19

No, if the world sees us offending our brother, then the world's going to think, well, the church doesn't love one another if they're willing to do that.

45:27

So I would say, yes, I would say there's a priority.

45:30

Now, the other question you asked, R.B., you said, is it within the same local church or outside the local church? I would say as believers, as a pastor, I have a priority to my local church because I'm the shepherd of a local church.

45:47

And so I'm not a shepherd of a different church.

45:50

So I do have a priority within my local church.

45:53

But that doesn't mean that other believers from other churches are not important, but there would be a priority within the local body.

46:04

As I said earlier, a lot of people that helped us were from other churches, and that was awesome.

46:10

But that doesn't mean that they did that in spite of helping within their church.

46:16

They also minister within their church.

46:18

I think our local body, our local assembly is first priority, right? And then outside of that is the body of Christ within other churches.

46:32

And then, of course, we do want to minister to other people.

46:38

When I say other people, other unbelievers.

46:41

And I like the way you worded this.

46:43

She says, is service alone enough to ensure that this is done in Jesus' name? And the answer to that from my perspective is no.

46:50

No, we don't do service simply for the sake of doing service.

46:54

We do service in Christ's name with the gospel.

46:57

And I heard years ago, I was at a Bible conference in Milton, Florida, and it was said so succinctly, I'll never forget it, that atheists hold doors.

47:09

You remember that? And what it's saying is that we don't just do nice things because if we do nice things, that doesn't necessarily proclaim Christ.

47:21

Now, we should do nice things, but we should also proclaim Christ.

47:25

We're not like a television that's on mute, where people only see things, but they don't hear things.

47:31

We should be proclaiming Christ.

47:34

And so typically what I do is I'm huge on gospel tracks.

47:40

We have friends who have been saved through the use of gospel tracks.

47:43

People ask all the time.

47:44

I've even seen it on Twitter.

47:46

People say, are gospel tracks really effective? Yes.

47:49

I mean, we can name names.

47:51

I mean, think of some people who have been saved.

47:56

Sybil Taylor was one who was saved by a gospel track.

48:01

And again, several people in our life.

48:04

But as I said, so looking at it from that perspective, if we're going to do ministry, we should not just be doing ministry that is only tangible physically, but we should also be doing ministry that proclaims the gospel in some way.

48:21

And like I said, when I give money to people, I give them money with a gospel track.

48:25

If I have the opportunity to share the gospel with them, I'll share the gospel with my words.

48:30

But if not, I'll give them a printed copy of the gospel, which is a gospel track.

48:34

I keep them in my wallet.

48:36

And certainly I think, R.B., that we should be explicit about sharing the gospel.

48:44

Do you have anything to add to that? I was just thinking that's what separates the church from like the Boy Scouts or from just doing good works.

48:52

That's not enough.

48:54

It needs to be more than that.

48:57

I mean, the gospel just needs to be proclaimed.

48:59

Like you said, the gospel tracks.

49:01

We normally, we usually do it.

49:03

Yeah.

49:04

Yeah.

49:04

We have a big gospel track ministry at Sovereign Grace.

49:09

In fact, one of the ones that we have, we purchased, I think for onemilliontracks.com, we have an entire box of thank you tracks that anytime someone does something for us, like if we go to a restaurant and a waitress waits on us or something, we have these tracks that say, thank you.

49:24

Now we don't give that in lieu of a tip.

49:25

We also give a tip if the person deserves a tip or if you're in a restaurant, obviously they deserve a tip because that's part of their salary.

49:32

If a person is expecting a tip, we'll give them a tip, but also give them a gospel track to go with it.

49:38

And it says, thank you.

49:40

It says, thank you for serving me well today.

49:42

And here's something I want to share with you.

49:45

And also the ministry at the fair, Callahan Fair.

49:49

I mean, people have come back years later and say, Hey, you shared the gospel with me or I've read this track.

49:57

Absolutely.

49:58

Absolutely.

49:59

So those are our thoughts about the subject of how to help people, how we were helped and how you might be able to help other people within your local body.

50:08

I want to thank everybody who sent in questions on Twitter and Facebook.

50:11

Hopefully our answers were helpful to you.

50:14

I want to thank my beautiful bride for being with me today.

50:17

And again, I want to thank you for all of your help with the interdenominational meetings with helping me write the scripts and prepare everything, letting me get all the equipment that we have now to be able to do things like that.

50:29

I'm very grateful.

50:30

And I know people, people tend to like it.

50:32

So if you like the interdenominational meetings, send Jennifer or put a, put a little note, say, thanks Jennifer.

50:38

Cause she's a, she's a big part of that.

50:41

Thank you.

50:41

Yeah, absolutely.

50:42

And thank you for being on the program and thank you for listening today to conversations with the Calvinist.

50:47

I want to remind you that if you're watching this on YouTube, please take the opportunity to hit the like button.

50:52

Also subscribe to the channel.

50:54

If you haven't already, we are every time we get a new subscriber, we get a like that helps us to reach more people on YouTube helps us to get our message out.

51:02

And if you're listening to us on a regular podcast, hit the subscribe button and you'll be alerted every time we put out a new program.

51:09

If you have a question that you'd like me to deal with on a future program, you can send it to me at Calvinistpodcastatgmail.com.

51:15

You can find older episodes of the program at Calvinistpodcast.com.

51:19

And again, I want to encourage you to continue listening as we go through week after week, dealing with scripture, culture, and media from a reformed perspective.

51:28

Thank you for listening to Conversation with the Calvinist.

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My name is Keith Foskey and I've been your Calvinist.

51:34

May God bless you.