Ephesians 5 (Part 2)

Welcome to No Compromise Radio, a ministry coming to you from Bethlehem Bible Church in West Boylston.

No Compromise Radio is a program dedicated to the ongoing proclamation of Jesus Christ, based on the theme in Galatians 2, verse 5, where the

Apostle Paul said, But we did not yield in subjection to them for even an hour, so that the truth of the gospel would remain with you.

In short, if you like smooth, watered -down words to make you simply feel good, this show isn't for you.

By purpose, we are first biblical, but we can also be controversial. Stay tuned for the next 25 minutes as we're called by the divine trumpet to summon the troops for the honor and glory of her

King. Here's our host, Pastor Mike Abendroth. God has a plan. He works out that plan in and through the person of the

Lord Jesus Christ. And He does it to the praise of His glory.

God has a plan. He's sovereign over everything. You'll see words in even the book of Ephesians about choosing, predestining, and of course, you see throughout the entire book, the

Lord Jesus Christ at the centerpiece, how He is the one who makes peace. And why does

He do it? Chapter 1, verse 6, to the praise of His glory. Why does He do it? Chapter 1, verse 12, to the praise of His glory.

Why does He do it? In chapter 1, verse 14, any ideas? To the praise of His glory. And in this great plan that God has, that He works out through Christ to the praise of His glory, it doesn't just stop with our salvation, although that's wonderful that it includes our salvation.

To be forgiven. Can you imagine to be forgiven of all your sins? And Christian, you have been. To think that God in eternity past chose me.

He didn't have to choose me, but He chose me, and He gave a son to die for me, and He gave a spirit to dwell in me.

That would be enough. But then when you think of God's plan, it also includes, through Christ, to the praise of His glory, bringing

Jews and Gentiles together in one body called the church.

It also includes God in Christ Jesus to the praise of His glory. It includes

Paul, the apostle, being sent to preach us the mysteries of Christ. It also includes how to live your daily life.

You know, that's part of God's plan, that He works out in Christ to the praise of His glory, including marriages, husbands, and wives.

It's all been planned by God. It's in Christ Jesus, and it's to the praise of His glory. Today, if you'll take your

Bibles and turn to Ephesians chapter 5, we are in a wonderful section that is the overflow and the outflow of God's great plan in Christ Jesus to the praise of His glory, including husbands and wives.

Now, as you know, we've been going through Ephesians chapter by chapter, two sermons a chapter.

I'm going to give you kind of a little hint, and I think I have the prerogative to do this. There are probably 17 verses in our section today and nine for next week.

And so if my introduction next week is a little longer to include some of the stuff in chapter 5, that doesn't count against my two sermons a chapter, okay?

Just to let you know. Paul starts off with this book, and it is praise.

It is 3 -2 -1 ignition. I remember in 69 at school watching the Apollo...

What's it called? Not space shuttle. Apollo what? Rocket? Whatever.

Up it goes. And you just... The countdown, 3 -2 -1 ignition. You can see the flames underneath that spaceship just...

You could feel it. I'm sure if you were there, you could sense it, feel it. Paul starts off that way, and everything is a

God -word praise. So many sermons, so many times we read the Bible, we're trying to find out where we are, where's

Waldo in this chapter. It's not to be found really except secondarily. It's all about the triune

God. And Paul does what Lloyd -Jones says. He holds us face -to -face with God, and what

God is, and what God has done. And Paul emphasizes throughout the glory and greatness of God, the

God the Eternal One, God the Everlasting, God over all, and the indescribable glory of God.

That's the book of Ephesians. And so we've just been going through chapter by chapter by chapter. We see

Paul's pattern. He'll praise, he'll pray, he'll exhort. He'll praise, he'll pray, and exhort.

Today we come to chapter 5, verses 18 -33.

I've made a simple outline. It is alliterated, and so here's the outline. Spirit -filled

Christians, that's point 1. Submitting wives, that's point 2. And sacrificial husbands, that's point 3.

Spirit -filled Christians, submitting wives, and sacrificial husbands. And so far

I think I have all your attention. It's like last week, right? You just see, oh, this is the revealed

Word of God. What's going to happen? Because we're Christians, how should we live? Because this is part of God's plan.

This is because of Christ Jesus, to praise His glory, how should we live? And here's how we should live.

We should live in light of God's grace, with gratitude, responding as Spirit -filled Christians, submitting wives, and sacrificial husbands.

And today's going to be the exact opposite of everything you hear preached in the world. If you're here and you're visiting, and you've never been to a church, you're going to hear things that seem antiquated, caveman -ish, troglodytish.

Is that a word? It is now. But it is God's Word, and it's because He made us, and He created us, and He knows what's best.

And He wants, as the fruit of the Gospel in your life, because of the Spirit of God dwelling in you,

Ephesians 3, for you to be Spirit -filled, submitting wives, and sacrificial husbands.

Well, let's pick it up in chapter 5, verse 18, and let's talk about this first section.

Maybe we can pick it up in verse 17, might be best. Paul has been talking a lot about walking.

Chapter 5, verse 2, walk in love as Christ loved us. He's talking about walking in verse 15.

Look carefully how you walk. And now, he wants us to understand things in light of that walking in Christ Jesus.

He says in chapter 5, verse 17, Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the

Lord is. Now, when people read that, they automatically think to themselves, what's God's will for my life, and should

I marry Jane or Jim, or should I work for Hanover, or what's God's will? If you go back to chapter 1, verse 9, we understand what

God's will is. What is this will that we're supposed to understand? Paul says, don't be foolish, but understand what the will of the

Lord is. Is this the will of God for my life, personally? Where I'm to live, what car I'm to drive?

No, it's chapter 1, verse 9 and 10, we understand God's will, where it says in verse 9,

Making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time to unite all things in him, things in heaven, and things on earth.

Instead of this self -centered, what's God's will for my life, although God does have a will for your life, this is much grander, this is a copy.

I feel like I have a little pause, you think that's my battery? Did you know I used to sell Duracell batteries?

I did. So when we saw Energizer displays, sometimes we disposed of them.

But I wasn't a Christian then, so... What does that have to do with anything?

Nothing. When you think to yourself, I don't want to be stupid, or foolish, or moronic when it comes to God's will.

What is God's will? When if you step back, you think, Oh, it's everything in Christ Jesus, this is cosmic, this is this global thing that's going on, and in light of who

God is and what he's doing, putting everything together again, not just the cosmos, but Jews and Gentiles, I think

I should live in light of that. And then he says in verse 18, and this is where we run into our spirit -filled

Christian section, Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the

Spirit. There's our command. We actually have two commands there, Don't get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the

Spirit. Maybe I should have a, you want me to have the secondary mic up? That one?

Okay. Run. I remember when

I was able to run. Look at that. Alright, let's go. I give you that.

This does not count against my time for the sermon today. I have an impossible task.

How can you teach this entire chapter section? But we are going to do our best. And again, if you say,

Oh, that makes me want to study this more, that's one of the purposes of this morning. Paul says in verse 18,

Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery. That's wastefulness. That's like a

Luke 15 language with the prodigal son. Just loose living. You just squander it all. Don't do that.

But instead, be filled with the Spirit. Every Christian here is to be filled with the

Spirit. Now when I think of filled, I think sometimes of cups and water. Fill up my cup,

Lord. Here's a liter of water and it's filled up. But there's another way to think of filling.

You can hear about people who are filled with jealousy. Filled with rage.

They're influenced by things. And so as alcohol influences us, you see it right there, Do not get drunk with wine, that's debauchery.

As alcohol influences, you can even actually drive under the influence. As alcohol influences, you ought to be influenced by the

Spirit of God. He's not talking about a one -time fill -up, a charismatic experience.

An ongoing, dear Christian, you ought to be filled with the Spirit. And if I said to you, it's a command, and it is,

If I said to you, on your mark, get set, go, begin your filling, what would you do? What is Spirit -filled living?

Well, I can tell you the results of Spirit -filled living. You see them in verses 19 and following.

Spirit -filled Christians, because of the work of the Triune God, they address one another in Psalms, they sing and make melody in their heart, they give thanks always for everything, and you see it in verse 21, they submit to one another.

When a person is Spirit -filled, you can recognize it, because the way they talk to each other, the way they sing, the way they give thanks, and the way they submit, that's the result of the

Spirit -filling. All of a sudden, you see people, and by the way, wouldn't you like to be around people like that? Always talking about the

Lord, singing, thankful, submitting, those are the kind of people I'd like to be around.

Matter of fact, remember what he's doing in chapter 4, 5 and 6. How do you have church unity?

One faith, one hope, one baptism, one Lord, one God. What contributes to church unity? I'll tell you what contributes to church unity, a

Spirit -filled person, because the way they talk to each other, the way they sing unto the Lord, the way they thank the

Lord, and submit to one another, those are the kind of people Paul's after. A Spirit -filled person has those fruits.

Well, there's a sister epistle, and if you turn to Colossians 3, you will see with me something that will unlock this for you.

We have so many people telling us to be Spirit -filled, and come up to the front and get slain, or get baptized in the

Spirit. We are to be Spirit -filled Christians. What does that mean? How do we get Spirit -filled? Well, Colossians 3 really, really helps us.

This twin, this Siamese twin epistle of the book of Ephesians.

Colossians 3 .16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. When you see someone who's got the word of Christ dwelling in them richly, what does their life look like?

Answer, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God, and whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the

Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. And then he talks about wives submitting.

Isn't that fascinating? A word -filled person talks to one another in psalms, they sing unto the

Lord, they give thanks and they submit. Wait a second, the results of a word -filled person are the same results as a

Spirit -filled person. Conclusion, a Spirit -filled person is one in whom the

Spirit of God word dwells in them richly. Do you want to be Spirit -filled?

You'll have the word of God dwell in you richly. So let's go back to Ephesians chapter 5.

This is not something that we can muster up on our own. This is the word of God hidden in our heart.

This is men and women reading God's word, hearing it preached on Sunday.

I heard a story about a Bible that wrote its own diary of its owner's use of it.

Here's the Bible's diary. January 15th, been resting for a week. A few nights after the first of the year my owner opened me.

And no more, another New Year's resolution gone awry. February 3rd, owner picked me up and rushed off to Sunday school.

February 23rd, cleaning day, was dusted and put back in my place. April 2nd, busy day, owner had to present the lesson at church society meeting.

Quickly looked up a lot of references. May 5th, in grandma's lap again, a comfortable place.

May 9th, she let a tear fall on John 14 verses 1 through 3. May 10th, grandma's gone, back in my place.

May 20th, baby born, they wrote his name on one of my pages. July 1st, packed in a suitcase, off for a vacation.

July 20th, still in the suitcase. July 25th, home again, quite a journey, though I don't see why

I went. August 16th, cleaned again and put in a prominent place. The pastor is to be here for dinner.

August 20th, owner wrote grandma's death in my family record. He left his extra pair of glasses between my pages.

December 31st, owner just found his glasses. Wonder if he will make any resolutions about me for the

New Year. Here's the good news, Bethlehem Bible Church. This is not talking about you because you are

Bible readers. You want the Spirit of God to dwell in you richly through the Word of God. I love preaching to a church that loves the

Word of God. And so when the Bible commands you to be Spirit filled, it is commanding you to be filled with the

Word of God, to let the Word of Christ specifically dwell in you richly. And then how will you respond?

Look at the results. I mentioned them, but let's talk about them for a few minutes. Addressing one another, verse 19, in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.

This is just how we talk to each other. And by the way, in the psalms, who's the theme of the psalms?

Hymns, spiritual songs, this is the Lord Jesus, of course. When you read the psalms, even our

Lord Jesus told us that the psalms spoke of Him.

These are people that love psalms. They love hymns. What was a hymn back in the days of pagans?

They would sing and eulogize a God. And here we've stolen that from them. And we have songs, of course, sung unto the

Lord Jesus, directly praising. And then you have spiritual songs. The Greek is ode. It's an ode.

It's a spiritual song where you're talking in a very personal way about who God is and what He has done. When the

Word of God dwells in you richly, how do you talk to other Christians? You talk to other Christians about Scripture and who

Jesus is and songs of your heart and what He's done. What else do you do?

The second result of being spirit -filled and having the Word of God dwell in you richly, Word of Christ, is you sing.

Look at that, verse 19. Singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord. And this is corporate worship, by the way.

This is corporate worship where Christians sing. Christianity is a singing religion.

And you make melody in your heart. It doesn't mean you're just silently in your heart singing. It could be that. But it's to the

Lord. Come to church and you love to sing. It has nothing in here about I don't like the style of the songs.

It's too slow, too fast, too much drums, not enough drums, too much plexiglass, not enough plexiglass.

When the Word is in you and you realize, I am a forgiven person. I have the hope of heaven. I didn't merit heaven.

I didn't deserve heaven. I know what I deserve. I get to go to heaven. And it's just this overflow. What you put in, preaching to the

Lord's day, of course you receive God's Word. Supplementary, you read the Word of God. And you just talk to other

Christians about that. I mean, you can see what it replaces. It replaces gossip and slander and complaining and grumbling.

No, no, that would not be the fruit of the Spirit at all. The fruit of the Spirit is love and joy and peace. What else do

Christians do when they have the Word just overflowing? Verse 20, giving thanks always for everything to God the

Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Christians are thankful people.

They realize, I am forgiven. I have redemption. I can stand before the God of the universe on that judgment day and He will not say, guilty.

I am guilty, but He'll say, not guilty, because Jesus took my guilt. Jesus took my shame.

I'm reconciled. Chris Osterman said, Christians should even give thanks for hell as a warning to keep

Him in the right way. And what does this do for church unity? Well, to ask the question is to answer it.

Giving thanks in the Greek is eucharisto. You know, some people, they go to communion and they have the

Eucharist. It just means to give thanks. I love to go out and have dinner here in New England and then pray.

And if you're in the South and you pray, of course, people, you know, the waiter or waitress will stand and let you finish.

In New England, they're like, did you lose your contact? No. Harry Ironside, he was in a really crowded restaurant, and a man approached him and said, could

I eat with you? He said, sure. Then Ironside bowed his head. The other man said to him, do you have a headache?

Ironside said, no, I don't. Is there something wrong with your food? No, I was simply thanking

God as I always do before I eat. Oh, you're one of those, aren't you? Well, I want you to know

I never give thanks. I earn my money by the sweat of my brow and don't have to give thanks to anybody when

I eat. I just start right in. Then Ironside said, huh, you're just like my dog.

That's what he does, too. I mean, you read the

Psalms, I thank God with my whole heart. I will give thanks to thee forever. With my mouth,

I will give thanks abundantly. And then also, when people are filled by the

Spirit and when they have the word of Christ dwelling in them richly, you speak, you sing, you thank, and here you submit, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

This just means to line up under. It's a military term. There are generals, and there are colonels, and there are light colonels, and there are sergeants, and there are corporals, and I just voluntarily put myself underneath the leadership, the government, the church leaders, people who are in authority, my boss.

I just arrange myself. I realize that nobody's better than I am, but since I'm a child of God, and he has bought me, and sought me, and redeemed me with his blood, well,

God wants me to line up under because he doesn't like anarchy? Okay, it's easy for me. I submit. Spirit -filled

Christians are Christians who have the word of Christ dwell in them richly. Well, let's move to the second

S today for our outline, and that is submitting wives, submitting wives and sacrificial husbands.

You will notice in your text, verses 22 through 33, talk about this.

Before I address the wives in particular, marriage, of course, is under assault in the church and in the government.

We want a healthy church, and how do you have healthy churches? I think it starts with healthy marriages.

There was a seven -year -old. She saw Cinderella, and the neighbor was asking this little girl about Cinderella, and she said, well, what happened?

And she said, I know what happens at the end. What? asked the girl. Cinderella and the prince lived happily ever after, to which the little girl answered, oh, no, they didn't.

They got married, and I thought the cynical girl sometimes know the truth.

Paul writes this book, Ephesians chapter 6, verse 22, says to encourage the church. How do you encourage the church?

Well, the church has married people in it. How do you encourage them? He's going to talk about submitting wives and sacrificial husbands.

I just typed in marriage advice online. Here are some of the things that they say online. Assume the best of one another.

Communicate respectfully. Always be flexible. I typed in another Google search on how to have a great marriage.

Celebrate the process. Learn at least to speak one new language. Guard your marriage.

Maximize your spouse's potential. I typed in another. Okay, what does this website say?

Show affection. Date frequently. Spend time with your children. And then I did one other fourth search, and it says be courteous to your wife.

Don't despise her. Provide for her regarding husbands. Be hospitable to his relatives.

Don't betray his faith. I thought those were kind of good. I mean, they're not too bad. The thing is the first one is a secular list.

The second one is an evangelical list. The third one is a Mormon list. And the fourth one is a

Buddhist list. And what's similar to every one of them is just law.

It's just to do. It's just practical. What will Paul do in this section in verses 22 through 33?

Everything's bathed in, cloaked in, comes out of this context of Jesus and the church.

Did you know there's hardly any commands in the New Testament for husbands? I can think of two off the top of my head.

Love your wives. Don't be embittered toward them. What else can

I find? Well, for women, I can find this. Submit to your husbands. Respect your husbands.

What is going on here? Don't you think there'd be so much more information? What Paul will do is give law, give commands, give guidance, of course, but it's all couched in Christ and the church because Christ is loving the church, the church is submitting to Christ, and everything has to do with that.

So most every verse here between 22 and 33 has to do with Jesus and the church.

And you're not going to see all this marriage advice, like laugh it up and pay attention to little things and give one another space and spend time intimately and all these other things.

No, that's not what Paul's going to do. Those laws, apart from grace, apart from chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5, are just metallic in my ears.

They don't mean anything. And I can prove it here very soon that you don't even have to tell an unbeliever,

Husband, you should love your wife. They know it. It's built in their system. But Paul won't let it be here.

Husbands, love your wives is what? Christ loved the church. It's completely different. I mean,

I read some advice this week for marriages. If you want your marriage to sizzle with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it, and whenever you're right, shut up.

I mean, let's just close in prayer. I guess that's marriage advice. And isn't it fascinating?

When you go to a marriage conference, most of all the conference is, Husbands, here's what you should do.

Wives, what you should do. I'm saying some of that's probably good because many of us don't have parents that were Christians to teach us.

But here, it's all cloaked in, bathed in, immersed in, baptized in the language of Christ in the church.

So let's talk to the ladies first and then the husbands. This is not going to be exhaustive, but it will be a start.

Submitting wives. And before I even read this verse, verse 22, this is not a verse for husbands to jam down the throats of wives.

This is like a sermon. Paul has this letter, it's going to be read to the congregation, and so now it's like me,

Paul, addressing the wives. Wives, let me tell you what would be a Christ -honoring marriage.

Let me talk to you. Then we'll talk to the husbands. So the first thing I notice is, this is

God speaking to the wives. And He gives you, number one, this command.

Submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. I know what some of you might be saying.

There's not really a Greek imperative here. It's carried over from the previous verse.

If you want a Greek imperative, I'll give you one, Colossians 3 .18. Wives, submit to your own husbands as is fitting unto the

Lord. I know this isn't popular. I know people don't like this. Me, Tarzan, you,

Jane, dominating. Sometimes my wife and I will listen to that old soundtrack, Annie Get Your Gun.

Remember Annie said to her husband -to -be, I promise to love and honor but not obey. I'm not going to sing it, but that's what she said.

You can remember when Andrew married Fergie, years and years ago, she was supposed to say to the groom,

I promise to love, honor, and obey. She said it, but her face said the opposite, if you remember.

You want to know why marriages are in the state they're in, if they're bad? Because wives don't submit and husbands don't love.

It's just that simple. So what is Paul saying? He is saying, like when we submit to one another, wives are to voluntarily subordinate themselves, to line themselves up and under.

I'm going to submit my control, and my authority, and myself, and I will place myself under my husband.

Paul does not say here, wives are lesser. Of course, Galatians 3, verse 28 says, you're equal in Christ.

Many of you, like me, have wives that are more godly, more humble, more holy.

Has nothing to do with that at all. But you're going to see in this passage, that Paul's going to rescue, and he's actually going to liberate women.

The Jewish culture, I own sheep, and I own goats, and I own my wife. That was Jewish culture, sadly, too often.

The Greek culture, I don't want my wife to be seen or heard, stay indoors and obey me. That was the

Greek culture. And the Roman culture, no rights for a woman subject to her husband, treated like a child, essentially.

Paul's going to liberate. He doesn't say you're subservient. He doesn't say you're lesser. He actually doesn't even say obey.

He keeps the obey for children. There's a ranking, and ranking of submit myself is a lot different than obey.

Obey is for children. Submission is for wives. And wives, we know, are to be helpers.

You say, well, I don't know, is that demeaning? Do you know God is called helper in the Old Testament? Ezer is a helper.

God is my helper. Here I raise my Ebenezer. God was a helper to Israel. Submission is a command, but it has nothing to do with person.

He was created to be Adam's helper. Matthew Henry said in the well -known statement, the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon him, but out of the side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.

That's the idea. I guess I could ask you, wives, do you submit to your husband? Do you willingly just say, because of who

I am in Christ, and what Jesus has done for me, I will gladly do that. I mean, if somebody said to you,

I'm going to pay for your college, here's a hundred grand to pay for your college, and if they ever ask you a favor after that, what would you do?

Well, you'd probably say, I'd be glad to do it. I mean, times a billion, God hasn't paid for your college,

He's rescued you, He's redeemed you, and now He says, for your good and for my glory, tuck yourself underneath the leadership of your husband.

Wives are taught this in Titus 3, what do you teach young women to do? To be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.

You say, yes, but it's been abused, therefore I don't want to do it. Just because something has been abused, as R.

Ken Hughes said, just because your husband sometimes walks around the house like Jabba the Hutt ordering you, it's still in the

Bible. Women and men are both divine image bearers, but there's an order in the family.

Women can pray to the Lord, women can walk faithfully unto the Lord, women can teach the

Bible to children and other ladies, women have the same responsibilities to love God and love their neighbor, obviously.

But women's tendency, remember back at the fall, chapter 3 of Genesis was to dominate the husband, to rule the husband, and Paul wants to make sure that doesn't happen.

You say, well, my husband has no qualifications for me to submit to him. If he's called your husband, he does.

Peter says, in the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives.

You are not ladies' second -class citizens. You have dignity and honor. You are not a doormat.

You can counsel, you can talk, you can pray, you can discuss, you can debate, but you're called to tuck yourself under and submit.

Here, even in Peter, it says, submit even if they're not Christians. That's fascinating.

Yes, but I'm having a hard time submitting. Look back at chapter 5, verse 22. Be subject to your own husbands as to the

Lord. Oh, that's one of the ways I can demonstrate, if I'm a lady, my submission to the

Lord Jesus is to submit. I'm going to kind of look past my husband and see the Lord, because I'm ultimately doing this for the

Lord, not my husband. I don't want to ignore my husband.

That's like ignoring my Savior. I don't want to undermine my husband's authority. That's like undermining Christ. I don't want to nag my husband to do something, because that's like nagging

Christ. That's the idea. I mean, everybody has leaders, and here we are one flesh with our wives, and there has to be a leader and a follower.

Verse 23, look at the basis of submission. For the husband is head of the wife, even as Christ is head of the church.

See, that's the tie -in here. This is why it's not moralism. This is not why it's a TED talk. Even as Christ is head of the church,

His body, and is Himself its Savior. Of course, the church, when she's responding rightly, she submits to the

Lord willingly, gladly tucks herself under the Lord's provision and protection and care.

The chapel says God calls the church to arrange all her energies and abilities under the grand purpose of glorifying the

Savior. And that's the philosophy that women should have. It's not suppression. It's submission.

It's voluntary. It's free. It should be joyful. And of course, men need women.

It's not good for man to be alone, but I will make a helper suitable for him.

Verse 24, he repeats and reinforces, Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Finances, child raising, everything. Sure is quiet in here.

But husbands, you're next. If you think this is hard, wait till the next section. Martha Peace has a little section on submission, and she said,

Do give your opinion, wives. You are a helpmate. Do appeal. Would you consider?

But at the end of the day, say to your husband, Whatever you decide, I'll do it. Wives, do you submit to your husbands?

Joyfully, in everything, to the Lord? You want a unified church? You want to be a spirit -filled person?

It's not just, oh, I talk to others about Jesus, I sing unto the Lord, I give thanks, and I submit to everybody else, but when it comes to my husband,

I know best. Of course, we understand that's not true. Well, now let's move to the husbands.

There's more to be said, but let's move to the husbands. Spirit -filled Christians submitting wives and sacrificial husbands.

I like Churchill for lots of reasons. He was asked the question, If he could be anyone else in the world, who would it be?

And Winston Churchill said, Mrs. Churchill, second husband. That's the idea here.

I'm not saying submitting to a sinful leader, wives, is easy. But this might be the harder task.

And by the way, as we go through this, husbands, if you'd like to have a wife submit to you more, it's all on you.

The loving husband helps the wife submit. This is the blueprint.

We will see, because of this, this is not women are lesser, this is not women are subjugated, this is not women are below us.

How are we to treat our wives who gladly and joyfully submit? And the model and the measure for this is,

Husbands, how does Jesus love the church? Verse 25,

Husbands, rule your wives. Husbands, dominate your wives.

Husbands, on the other hand, it truly says, love your wives. How? As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Agape love, what's best for you at my cost. That's why I've called this section sacrificial.

And even that gave himself up for her. If love doesn't seek its own, 1 Corinthians 13, then it gives.

Jesus was wounded for our transgressions. He was bruised for our iniquities. The chastisement for our peace was upon her.

And so Jesus laid down his life willingly, joyfully, for the betterment of the church.

And it's fascinating because the word church in the original language, the word church is feminine. So here's

Jesus laying down his life for the church, and it's a perfect mirror for the husband loving the wife.

You say, well, I don't really feel like this. Of course, remember, this has nothing to do with feelings. And if you look at Lord Jesus, it was not a feeling -oriented obedience to the

Father. It was what? I love my Father, and I want to obey Him, and I want to please Him.

All too often, both men and women can say, you know what, I just don't feel like it. These commands, submit and feel, excuse me, submit and love, have nothing to do with feel.

Sacrificial love of a husband's care for his wife, he gave.

In this is love, not that we love God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

Chrysostom was known as the golden preacher, and he lived in the 350s, 360s, 370s.

And he said, would thou have a wife that should obey thee as Christ does the church?

Have care thyself for her as Christ for the church. And if it be needful that thou should give thy life for her, or to be cut to pieces a thousand times, or endure anything whatever, refuse it not.

He brought the church to His feet by His great care, not by threats nor fear of any such thing.

And so, husbands, thou conduct thyself toward thy wife. Jesus hands

Himself over to the authorities, and that's what it means to be delivered. That's what it means in chapter 5 verse 25, to give

Himself up for her. It's an act of the will. Walter Chantry said, there are no such books on how to do this.

You must bear a cross, husbands. Take aim on self. Set your sights on putting self to death.

Deny self. Rise early. Cry with a fresh uniting of all your energies for the one purpose of knowing the

Lord. And tomorrow, the cross will be there for you again. He didn't mean your wife was the cross.

He means the cross of self -denial for the sake of the other person. It's an act of the will.

And one man said, and I think it's true, marital love is like death. It claims everything. All you have, all that you are.

You think, how could I ever do that? Well, remember earlier in chapter 3, he's talked about God granting us in the inner man to have power so that we can do this.

Husbands, love your wives. But you don't know how she treats me.

How did sinners treat the Lord Jesus? He loved them when they hated

Him. That's the model. Your love, husbands, is not to be performance -based.

If she does this, I will do that. Your love, husbands, is not to be reciprocal. As long as you do your end of the deal,

I'll do mine. One writer said, spirit -filled husbands loves his wife not for what she can do for him, but what he can do for her.

It's undeserving. I don't need Benjamin Franklin's advice if I have these verses.

Benjamin Franklin said, keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut afterwards.

John Calvin. Now, when a husband has well considered and examined his own faults thoroughly, he will hold his peace and bear patiently with his wife's faults until God gives her the grace to correct them.

And meanwhile, whatever happens, let him not cease to act like a husband in applying himself to his wife's interests, to win her to God.

For he is not set in a position of superiority, except for the benefit and welfare of his yoke fellow.

Why is the husband the leader? So he can play leader? We want good marriages.

Socrates said, by all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. And if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

I don't want that. I know you don't want that. Well, Christ has some purposes for loving this bride.

What are those purposes? Verse 26 and 27. That and that.

Verse 26 starts with that. Verse 27 starts with so that. That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of the water with the word.

And that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

And before you know it, Paul just moves straight in. It's just normal and natural for him to talk about, not just husbands and wives, but what it's mirroring, what it's reflecting, what it's echoing,

Christ loving the church. And what did the Lord do to the church? You could say lots of things, but here's two things.

Sanctification. Set apart special unto the Lord for him. You might call this positional sanctification.

This is what the Lord did. How did he set apart the bride of Christ? Having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.

And what was the ultimate purpose of Jesus loving the bride, loving us? That he might present the church to himself in all splendor, without any spot, wrinkle, any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

You say, what does sacrificial love look like? This is what it looks like. How am I, the husband, supposed to love my wife?

With this kind of intentional love. Jewish wedding customs in the old days, when the ring was given, the bridegroom said to the bride, behold, you are sanctified to me.

You're set apart for me and the me alone. Of course, this is going to lend itself, since we can't set apart our wives unto sanctification in some positional way, but we want our wives holiness and her godliness.

And it is our responsibility to help her with that. The text says, do you see it, in verse 26, cleansed her with the washing of the water of the word.

And you can go back and find in the Old Testament, bridal baths and what happened in Ezekiel chapter 16.

But I think it's good enough for today and fair enough to say, husbands, in loving their wives, want their wives to be sanctified and holy.

You lead in that area with the ultimate purpose that she might be presented to himself, the church, in all her glory.

We want our wives to mature and to learn and to grow. The wives aren't supposed to be the spiritual leader, the men are.

Verse 28, in the same way husbands should love their wives, he just keeps repeating it over and over, as their own bodies.

Oh, that makes sense, we're one flesh. So he who loves his wife, loves himself. Talk about an intimate relationship, talking about what

God has put together, let no man tear asunder, fused into one. Husbands, when you love your wife, you love yourself.

Yeah, but she just kind of, I just treat her like I own her. I treat her like a piece of property. I just give her the to -do list and tell her when it's getting,

I mean, who? By the way, if you act that way to your wife, would you talk to me afterwards? Maybe talk to Pastor Steve.

He's nicer. Calvin, the argument is now drawn from nature itself, to prove that men ought to love their wives.

Every man by nature loves himself, but no man can love himself without loving his wife. Therefore, the man who does not love his wife is a monster.

We don't want that. And all of us can look back and say, as wives, I wish

I could do a better job of submitting. Lord, forgive me. Husbands should feel the weight of this, saying, this is the bar.

I don't do this. I want to do it. I long to do it. I'm thankful, Lord, you forgive me when I don't do it. If this is what

Spirit -filled is, and if this helps the unity of the church, and if this shows my gratitude for what you've done, I want to love my spouse better.

I want to love my wife better. Verse 29, No one ever hated his own flesh.

When your wife is weak, it's your weakness. She is not your foe. She is not your enemy.

She is not your adversary. Chantry, how soon marriage counseling sessions would end if husbands and wives were competing in thoughtful self -denial?

If the woman was anxious to yield to her God -given head in the home, and the man was ambitious to serve her comfort and welfare as being his own flesh, there would be no room for contention and strife.

You treat your wife poorly, you hurt yourself. Verse 29,

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but what? Nourishes. This is what a husband is to help with.

It's ultimately the Lord, of course, but as the Lord did this for the church, we are to do for our wives. But nourishes and cherishes, just as Christ also does the church.

How do I treat my wife? Well, the way I want to treat my wife, the way I'm commanded to treat my wife, is this way, a nourishing, a cherishing.

Nourishing means to provide security, to feed, to give sustenance, to give protection.

I guess I could ask the question, is your wife more godly because she's married to you? Do you encourage her in her studies?

Do you encourage her to go to women's breakfast? Do you encourage her to go on retreats? Do you encourage her when she's memorizing scripture?

John 17, 17, Sanctify them in truth that your word is true. Just as Christ also does the church.

Besides nourishing and feeding, what does he do? He cherishes. There's one thing

I wish I probably do better, is I wish I could just cherish my bride more. To show regard for.

That's what he's after here. Walter Trubisch said, cherish is something like this, let me try to tell you what it should mean when a fellow says to a girl,

I love you. It means you, you, you, you alone. You shall reign in my heart.

You are the one whom I have longed for. Without you I am incomplete. I will give everything for you.

I will give up everything for you. Myself as well as all I possess. I will love you alone.

I will work for you alone. I want to remain always at your side. That's what

I want. This is Abendron. By the way, in your honor today, I wrote, I wrote, I brought my socks and they say, happy wife, happy life.

There it is. When I preached this years ago,

I was petrified to preach this passage. Husbands, love your wives because I realized how short I fall.

So I thought, okay, it's coming up in three weeks, what should I do? So I thought, what would Kim want to do that I don't want to do that would be a self -sacrificial gift that I'll do it for her because I don't want any part of it, so I'll do it for her.

And so I bought her, this was, I don't know, ten years ago, I bought her six ballroom dance lessons because I knew

I would hate it and I knew she would love it. And now it's switched around. I love it, she hates it. No, just kidding. But I don't have to have that pressure anymore.

I can preach this to you because it's God's word and I can preach it to you because I'm not the gold standard.

I want to be a leader, I want to be an example, that's certainly true, but the gold standard isn't me. You've probably seen me not love my wife like I should.

I hate it, I repent. But the issue is Christ in the church. That's the issue.

To cherish. Man, do you cherish your wives? It means in the

Greek to keep warm. It means to have tender love, to guard in a tender manner.

The Bible says husbands, don't be embittered, don't be harsh. This is the exact opposite of that. To be sympathetic, bounteous in your love.

Verse 30, it gets bigger because we're members of His body. You and your wife are both members, so how do you treat other

Christians? Some of us find it so much easier to treat other Christians nicer than our own spouse.

And here we have another case of the union of Christ with His people. One body, many members, only one head.

Verse 31, for those who, husbands who are mama's boys, there's somebody else in your life besides your wife, maybe it's somebody at work, maybe it's a

Facebook friend, maybe it's anybody else. Here, look at the priority of husbands to love their wives before all others.

Even over their children. Husbands, it says, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

Marriage has precedent over every other relationship, including your children. One day they'll be gone.

He wants unity in the body and unity at home. This mystery is profound, verse 32, and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

In other words, your marriage is a preacher. And the wives, when they preach, what are they saying?

The church ought not to submit to the Lord Jesus or the church gladly yields themselves to the

Lord Jesus. And to the husbands, hmm, that's not self -sacrificial love, that's a love that takes. That's a love that was alluded to earlier in chapter five.

The marriage that was made in heaven is the one here with Jesus loving the church. Verse 33, he gives a summary statement to women and to men.

First the men, however, let each one of you love his wife as himself. That's what he's been trying to say this whole time.

And let the wife see that she respects her husband. One of the reasons why when

I do wedding ceremonies, I don't have the couples write their own vows because they're always symmetrical.

I promise to love, I promise to love. But since we're different people and in God's arrangement, men and women are different.

They're equal in Christ. They're both image bearers. They both have access to God. They both have all their sins forgiven in Christ Jesus.

They both have the hope of eternal life. But husbands are to love because we're portraying what Christ does.

And when somebody's under you in terms of submitting to you, and they don't do what you want them to do, you could become embittered to them.

So the Bible says, love your wife, don't be embittered. And on the flip side, here we see the wives, they're to submit and to place themselves under because of the

Lord God. And then, you know what? What if you have somebody over you that's not perfect and they make dumb decisions?

What should I do? Answer? There's the answer. You still have to respect them. When the leader says,

I ought not to be embittered, the one under says, I ought not to say I don't respect him.

I think it's been said that husbands, if your wife respects you, you don't care if anybody else doesn't respect you.

But the flip side is also true that if your wife doesn't respect you, it doesn't matter who else does.

This is good for us, isn't it? It's quiet. You know what it is to me? Honestly, it's convicting.

If you're a woman, you ought to be very, very convicted because I know you fall short because we're

Roman seven people. So what do we do? Say to our spouse afterwards,

I'm sorry, I love you. Would you forgive me? We say, well, we want to work on that. We want to honor the

Lord. It's not even for my husband, although it's true, but I'd like to honor the Lord in this. And then for husbands, we ought to feel so convicted, the way we talk to our wives, the way we discuss things to our wives.

We ought to be nourishing and cherishing. We realize we just fall short. Sometimes I talk about the

Lord Jesus and His grace so much that people have said, Mike, you're an antinomian. You're against law.

Just a question between us girls. Did I sound like I was against law today? I hope not because husbands love your wives like Christ loved the church.

And wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord in everything. And you want to see a church flourish.

You want to see homes flourish. You want to see the joy of the Lord and beginning to talk to one another with hymns and spiritual songs and odes and psalms.

And you just think, this is all here. It all starts at home. Let's pray for God's help as we endeavor to do this.

Father, thank you for your word. It is very, very convicting. And I, on behalf of the church, can easily recognize that I don't love my wife like Christ loved the church.

But because you love the church, we have forgiveness. We have hope.

We have hope that we have joy in the future. And I pray for the marriages here today that are rocky, that are on troubled soil.

I just pray that you would work and intervene through the preaching of the word, through a failed preacher, through a preacher that can't even live up to the word of God.

But the word of God is powerful, and it works. And I pray that those marriages, that Christ may so dwell in the hearts of that man and woman, they'd be so rooted and grounded in love that they would have strength to understand your love, and then they might love their spouses.

For those that want to get married, we look forward to that great time where they celebrate. I pray that you give them wisdom and strength, and the husbands might deny themselves, and the wives might submit.

And Father, for those that have good marriages, they can always be better. And I pray that. I pray that for all of us, that we might think,

God, you've done so much for us. Chosen us. Your son's died for us.

Your spirit indwells us. We have the hope of heaven. We're forgiven, reconciled. The wrath of God is not going to be ours.

Satan is defeated. We have an advocate. Jesus is praying for us. We're united with Christ.

All of our sins are forgiven, east and from the west. And the list could go on and on. Because of that, we want to respond with gratitude.

And may I, with the husbands, love their wives this week, and may the wives submit to their husbands, as unto the

Lord, in Jesus' name. No Compromise Radio, with Pastor Mike Abendroth, is a production of Bethlehem Bible Church, in West Boylston.

Bethlehem Bible Church is a Bible teaching church, firmly committed to unleashing the life -transforming power of God's Word, through verse -by -verse exposition of the sacred text.

Please come and join us. Our service times are Sunday morning at 10 .15, and in the evening at 6. We're right on Route 110 in West Boylston.

You can check us out online at bbchurch .org, or by phone at 508 -835 -3400.