The God Ordained Importance of Mothers (05/14/2000)

The God-Ordained Importance of Mothers

I hope you noticed in your bulletins the congratulations to Jenny and to Jessie Wayne, our seniors this year, and we want to congratulate you and your hard work. Well, I want to speak to you this morning about the God-ordained importance of mothers, and you can be turning to Genesis chapter 2 and verse 22, and I want to read you a couple of things while you're turning there.

A teacher had just presented a lesson on magnets and magnetic force in her class, and so she thought she would quiz the pupils on the importance of magnets and what magnets can do. So she says, my name starts with the letter M, and I have six letters, and I pick up things.

What am I? And she was very amazed that all the children said, mother. Charles Dickens said God couldn't be everywhere, so he made mothers. Now his doctrine wasn't very good, but he did understand mothers, didn't he?

Mothers come in all sizes, shapes, and colors, and are found everywhere, at kitchen sinks, hunting lost school books, kissing hurt places to make them well, patching seams and dreams, settling disputes, getting meals, supervising baths, and morals.

Mothers are the child's first and most important teacher. Eighty percent of what a child learns, he learns by the time he's five years old. A mother seems to have eyes in the back of her head and ears that can hear the cookie jar lid from two rooms away.

Her smiles are contagiously cheerful and lighten up a home imparting hope and courage. Theodore Roosevelt said America's greatest asset is home-building, God-fearing mothers. The Bible gives her these words of praise, in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, her children shall arise and call her blessed. One rabbi said this, the Hebrew word for parents is horim, and it comes from the same root as moreh, which means teacher.

The parent is and remains the first and most important teacher that the child will ever have. One man said insanity is hereditary, mothers inherit it from their children. Think about it. One child said we get our mothers so late in life it's impossible to do anything with them.

Okay, Charlotte, you were right, she said leave that one out. One man said mothers are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth. That's pretty true. And Rudyard Kipling wrote this about the universal undying love of mothers.

If I hanged on the highest hill, mother oh mine, oh mother oh mine, I know whose love would follow me still. If I were drowned in the deepest sea, mother oh mine, mother oh mine, I know whose tears would come down to me.

The Temporary Aspect of Motherhood: Leaving Father and Mother

I want you to look at this passage in Genesis chapter 2 for a moment, and I want to go through the Bible and share with you several points that the Bible makes very clear with regard to motherhood. In Genesis 2, we see really the first mention of the word mother in the Bible.

Genesis 2, let's start with verse 22. And the rib which the Lord God had made, had taken from man, made he a woman and brought her into the man. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh. And so the first mention of the word mother is found here where it says that the man shall leave his mother.

And perhaps we'll just get this point out of the way now and then we can go on to brighter issues. But it is an important word from God on this matter. This word leave where it says that the man should leave his father and his mother is a Hebrew word which means to loosen or to relinquish.

And notice that it's not the mother leaving the son, it's the son leaving the mother. And this word relinquish can go on to have other meanings such as to withdraw or retreat from, to leave behind or to release.

And I believe that the importance of this passage for moms is this, there are an awful lot of newlyweds and young couples who are together for the first two or three years of their marriage that receive a little bit too much help from home, if you know what I mean.

And so God starts out the first mention of the word mother by telling the mothers that there has to be a cutting of the apron strings. That when a young man leaves his home, he has to relinquish his mother, he has to withdraw from her, to leave her behind, so to speak, and go to his wife and create a new family.

And I believe it's a real exhortation here from the scriptures and we realize the first mention of words in the Bible usually carries a little extra meaning, a little extra importance. And it is the man who relinquishes his mother in favor of his wife, but the mother must accept being left behind and that cannot be easy.

But she must release her son to the Lord and to his new wife so that there wouldn't be any type of control left over that might interfere with that marriage. So I call this the temporary aspect of the role of motherhood.

There comes a day when the children come out from under the roof and they come out of the nest and they come directly under the hand of God at that point. And it certainly behooves moms to realize that and I know it's got to be a battle, but it's a very important one to win for the sake of that young marriage.

Now we can go on from here and it gets better. Can't go any further down, could it? Well, we talk about the temporary aspect of the role of motherhood. Let me talk to you about the permanent aspect of the role of motherhood.

The Permanent Bond of Motherhood

Let me give you the second mention of the word mother in the Bible. It's found in Genesis 3 and verse 20. And this brings the balance that God always brings. Genesis 3 20 says, and Adam called his wife's name Eve because she was the mother of all living.

This word mother in the Hebrew language is aim and it means a mother as the bond of the family. So though it may be true that there is a relinquishing of control when the son leaves the home, the mother is the permanent bond of the family.

When the siblings leave the home and start their new homes, it is the mother which brings them back again for seasons and reunions. And it is the mother who is the bond that keeps the family together.

How many of you can remember a grandmother on one side of the family or the other that you knew that once that person was gone, the family wouldn't be getting together much anymore? And it happens that way.

And so the moms on the one hand do give up control over their children, but they never give up the love and the providing of the shelter for the children. Don't you know how important it is for young married couples out there in this cold, mean world to know they have a place they could come if they choose for shelter and for love and that that bond of the family is always there.

And God says that that is the mother's role. I want to talk to you for a moment about the importance of the mother's strong hand in discipline in the home. Turn to Leviticus chapter 19 and verse 3. This is difficult because the older the children get, especially if you have boy children in the home, sometimes the mom feels inadequate in the role of discipline.

How many of you dads have come home from a hard day's work and walked in the door and the mom said, you need to deal with Johnny? And you're saying, well, he didn't do anything to me. I wasn't here. He didn't disobey me.

Why do I need to deal with him? Raise your hand if you ever felt that before. Okay. But you go ahead and you do it anyway, don't you? Yes, you do because you have to live with mom. So, and there's nothing really wrong with that because the man is the strong arm of the home.

But one thing that I think the Lord does make it clear to every mom is that she should never get to the place where she feels that she cannot bring forth a strong amount of discipline when needed in the home, even if dad's not there at that particular moment.

She should not always wait for dad to get home because the children need to have a healthy fear of their mom. And look at this in Leviticus 19, 3. Ye shall fear every man his mother. Now, don't you think it's interesting that God put mother first and then he says and his father.

Ye shall fear every man his mother and his father. And the mother is found first in that sentence. And then he says and keep my Sabbaths and I am the Lord your God. Turn ye not into idols nor make to yourselves molten gods.

I am the Lord your God. Why do you think it is that God places this in the same context of a warning against idolatry? God points out very clearly the importance of a child's fear of his mother. And then he says don't get involved with idolatry and worshiping other gods.

Well, I'll tell you why. Because a child is prone to worship his mother's God. If mom tells me about God and describes God to me, then that's how I view God as a young man. And it's very important that I realize that the Lord has hold of my mom and that she is in his hand and that if I offend my mom in some way, somehow I tie that together with the fact that God didn't like it one bit.

And that God is the one who told me to obey and honor my mother. And that has to be instilled in the young men's minds and hearts from a very early age and to the daughters as well. And so the importance of the mother's strong, consistent hand of discipline in the home is spelled out very early on in the Bible.

The importance that the children fear and respect her all the days of their lives. And this, of course, is one of the real breakdowns that we're seeing in our country as we get to that a little bit later in the message.

But I just want to encourage the moms that when you're having one of those kind of days and you're busy about your work and the child comes forth and exhibits that thing which needs discipline and you're thinking to yourself, you know what I would say to that?

I think you'd have to rebuke yourself and say, flesh, get behind me. Because the spirit, the spiritual mom will want to deal with it right then because she knows that the chastening needs to come on close heels to the misbehavior so that the child can put the two together and understand that sin brings pain with it all the days of my life.

And so I want to encourage you moms to not fall back from a strong hand of discipline in love and done biblically and in the right way, but very consistently. Don't be a mom who will do that when you're in a bad mood but you won't ever spank them when you're in a good mood.

It has nothing to do with your mood. It has to do with obeying the scriptures. That child must fear you. And there's no way a child can fear you moms if dad does all the spankings. No way in the world.

If a child disobeys and it's you that they disobey, right there on the spot, it would be best that you took care of it. In the Lord, in his love, but in the right way. And the Bible speaks, I'm not preaching this morning on discipline, what the Bible teaches about it, but I will tell you this, that the only thing that I can find in the entire Bible, ever, that's given by God to the mom to use for discipline is the rod.

A spanking. Not sticking their nose in the corner. Not time-outs. All the stuff you read about from modern child-rearing experts, you won't find that in the Bible. All this idea of reasoning with the child, sitting down with them and explaining, here's what you did to mommy, here's why mommy's upset.

And if that's all you do, that's nowhere in the Bible. The Bible speaks of a spanking. Spanking done in love and a spanking that does not stop because the child is crying. It does not stop until the child's spirit of rebellion is broken.

Then it stops. And then that motherly love continues with a hug and maybe crying with the child and praying with the child and saying, now you're forgiven. Let's go on from here. I guarantee you that child will feel better from that point on than he would if you just let it go.

Now, I think it is important to reason with the child in this sense. He should always know why he's getting the spanking. But it's not a reasoning like the world teaches where you're pleading with the child to understand that he's hurt mommy.

You need to understand why you've hurt me and that this behavior is wrong and it hurts me. It hurts your mother. That will not make it. All he'll be thinking is, I'm sure glad you're talking and not whipping.

Keep talking, mom. I'm listening. Keep talking. But it won't change the behavior. You know why? Because it's not just doctrine that's important from this book. It's methods. And the method that God gave for moms to create fear, a godly fear in the heart of a child, is a good whipping.

Now, that's your preacher. But really, it's not anything I made up. I'm just reading it and quoting it. Now, I've got a little booklet almost finished on child rearing and hopefully someday we can have that out for you to take it and get all the scriptures that talk about it.

But the main point this morning that we want to make is there has to be that healthy fear of the mom and the dad. But God mentioned the mother first, which I thought was an amazing thing. He said, Now, why is that so important?

There are a couple of reasons. And a couple of them deal with the sons. And then another one deals with the daughters. So let me get you to take a look at this. Turn with me to Deuteronomy chapter 21 and verse 18.

Mothers, Sons, and the Rebellion of Youth

And I want to speak to you moms about why it's important that your sons especially fear you because it is your role and the dad's to stop the rebellion of the sons. The Bible speaks about the fact that that children just naturally have certain things.

One of the things that children will naturally have is a bit of rebellion. And God says the thing that removes that is the rod. Now, let's look at this in Deuteronomy 21, 18 and let's look at this from an Old Testament point of view.

For a moment, place yourself back before the cross. Back as a person who loved the Lord and lived under the law of Moses. And let this be real to you. I want this to be as if you're living there when we read this.

Deuteronomy 21, 18 says, Now, let me tell you why that happened because they waited too late. They waited too late to start spanking and it didn't do any good. But that goes back to a study on child rearing.

But anyway, you have a situation here where this son is rebellious and they spank him. It doesn't do any good. He won't listen. He says, that doesn't hurt. And he gets to be an older young man and he's in a place where he's now stronger physically than his mom and quite possibly than his father.

And they correct him and he is in full rebellion. And look at verse 19. Then shall his father and I want you to notice this next phrase and his mother. The reason I want you to notice that is because I hadn't noticed it before.

In my mind, it was always the father who did this. But I see very clearly that it says then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him and bring him out unto the elders of his city and into the gate of his place.

And they shall say unto the elders of his city this our son is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey our voice. He is a glutton and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones that he die.

So shalt thou put evil away from among you and all Israel shall hear and fear. I want to ask you a question, moms. Now we don't live under that law, do we? But isn't it true that all the Old Testament things were given as in samples and examples for those of us who live in the last days.

So I have to ask you a question. Does God change? So does how God looks at rebellion in our children, has it changed one bit from the way it was when he gave this law? Some of you are thinking we probably should have kept that one.

Has God changed on this matter? Is his heart any different than it was? Or his mind set on anything other than how he feels about rebellion in children? And this pictured an older child, didn't it? So it hasn't changed.

But I want to ask you this question. If you lived in that day, moms, do you think that knowing that this law was over you and over your children that you might give a few more whoopings than you would if you didn't know this law was there?

If you were convinced that it was proper spankings that got the rebellion out of your children and you knew that if they got to be an older teenager and you weren't there yet and that rebellion was not removed and that heart wasn't right as it should be towards you that that child would die at the hands of the elders of the city someday.

Wouldn't it make a difference in how consistent you were in your child rearing, especially when it came to correction? I believe that it would, not to mention dads. Certainly, it says the mom and the dad had to put their hands on the child and physically carry him out that gate.

And from what I've heard, the way that it worked traditionally was that the father had to cast the first stone, which was not a pebble. It was a huge rock that weighed enough where if you hit the child properly, it might kill him.

And if it didn't, then the men began to throw stones until the rebellion was removed from Israel. Now, that is an example for us to show how God feels about rebellion, about God's mind on this issue of rebellious children in the home.

And the best time to start is when they're sitting in that high chair. You start there, and you won't have a problem when they get to be teenagers. But far too many people have read far too many books on reasoning with children and just talk it through with them and don't spank them because that actually has been proven to create violence.

Every prisoner in the prisons had spankings. It proves that spankings put them there. That's exactly the studies. I mean, isn't that good logic? They also ate their greens. Did that put them there? So, now, we see that it's so important that the mom be feared by the sons to help put rebellion out of their hearts.

Now, let me show you another interesting aspect of this with the sons. And we'll talk about the daughters in a moment. But let's look at Proverbs 31 in verse 1. I want to say one more thing about the importance of the mom's life and influence in the life of these young men.

If it's a proper life and influence. Proverbs 31 .1 says, The words of King Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him, What my son, and what the son of my womb, and what the son of my vows, giveth not thy strength unto women, the mother is teaching this young son, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.

It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, nor for princes strong drink, lest they drink and forget the law and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. This mom was teaching her son to stay away from wild women and booze.

Now, let me tell you something. When you've seen people in the world that have a problem in those areas, you can always look back to the mom, because she didn't do her job. Now, I'll have to say this, they themselves are responsible for their own sin.

We live in a day, one of the things I read about the quotes about mothers, it says you're in a wonderful generation, moms, because you're living in a generation that when you were a child, the world said everything was the kid's fault.

But now that you're an adult, everything's the mom's fault. If your children go bad, it's your fault. And we're taught that people are not supposed to take responsibility, they're supposed to blame what they do on their surroundings and their upbringing and so forth.

That certainly is not true, but I will say something that God indicates is true, that if a mom will take the time to teach her very, very young sons, and as they grow up, the mom teaches the son about women, because she knows women in a way that dad doesn't know women.

Wouldn't you agree with that? A mom can spot a wicked woman where the dad may not, and she can warn her sons. And that's exactly what the scripture indicates is needed here. Now, let me go to the daughters for a moment.

Mothers and the Purity of Daughters

Go back to Deuteronomy 22 and verse 20, and let's look at the importance of the mom's role with the daughters. Deuteronomy 22, 20 says, but if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel, then, now let me set the setting for you before we go on.

Here we're back into the laws of Moses. So I want you to place yourself back as if you lived in that day. And here we have a daughter that you've raised in your home, moms. And this daughter goes for her wedding night and it is found out that she is not a virgin on her wedding night.

Well, there was a law concerning this, and let's read it together in verse 21. Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her right at the door.

Now, they took the young man out of the gate of the city and stoned him, but they stoned the daughter right at the door of the house. And they stoned her with stones that she die. Because she hath wrought folly in Israel, you see, it will affect the entire nation, to play the whore in her father's house.

So shalt thou put evil away from among you. If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman and the woman, so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.

Now, let me tell you something. Those adults that died in that verse had a mom and a dad somewhere. And this young woman that came right from the household and was found not to be pure was stoned at the door of the house as the parents watched.

Now, let me ask you another question. If you knew that was the law that you lived under, would it not affect the way you disciplined your daughters? Would it not affect the consistency with which you always loved them enough to correct them every time they needed it, rather than letting it slide from time to time?

Wouldn't it bring you to the place where the thing you thought was foremost was for them to fear you? That they would not do anything that would bring dishonor to you because they fear you. Now, let me tell you something.

God hasn't changed. We're no longer under this law. And I'm glad that we're not. But God hasn't changed, and the truth is God hates these things as much as he ever hated these things, and he showed how he felt about them in the Old Testament as types and examples for us to know on a spiritual level how he is towards these things today.

But the beautiful thing that he gives us in these passages is he shows us that this was the greatest incentive I ever gave to teach parents to be consistent in discipline and correction. Listen, they probably didn't have near the problem we have today with it because those parents knew if my child gets out from under my hand, they're going to die at the hands of the law, and they're going to die before my eyes.

And so I'm going to start in the high chair, and I'm going to start swatting that little rebellious hand when it goes like that and knocks that juice on the floor for the third time. And I'm going to start right there, and I'm going to carry it right through until by the time they're a big, strong teenage boy, that little petite mom can say, son, go do this, and it's done just like that.

A Mother's Faith, Bible Knowledge, and Teaching in the Home

Now let's go to another point. The importance of the mom's Bible knowledge and her walk of faith. Turn to 2 Timothy chapter 1 and verse 5, and then we're also going to go to Proverbs 1 and 8. Why is it important that the mom in the home be a Bible student and that she not just pick it up at Sunday school or church, but that she also opens her own Bibles and studies in the home?

Why is it important that the mom have a strong faith in her life? 2 Timothy chapter 1 verse 5 says, When I called to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, and Paul is speaking to young Timothy, and he's speaking of the strong, unfeigned, which means it's not fake, it's real, it's from God, this strong faith that Timothy had.

Paul says, When I called to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother, Lois, and then in thy mother, Eunice, and I am persuaded that in thee also. Now I know that the Bible teaches that we're not saved by the will of man, but by the will of God.

And I know that God is sovereign and I understand election more than I've ever understood it in my life, but I will tell you that the Bible indicates in this place that the faith of the grandmom and the faith of the mother in the home makes a difference.

Now we have to understand that not only does God ordain who's going to be saved, but he ordains the means by which those will be saved. He ordains that there might be a grandmom praying in some instances.

He ordains in other instances that the strong faith of the mother will be a strong influence on that son or daughter. Or of the grandmom. In my case, my grandmom had a big influence on me. Not just my parents, but also my grandmother.

But I had a Lois and a Eunice praying for me as a young man, and I had no care for the church or for the Bible. But they kept trying to draw me to the things of God. And so the Bible teaches that that's very important in the life of a mom.

Not to mention fathers, but this is not Father's Day, so I'm talking about the mothers this morning. But look at Proverbs 1 .8. My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother.

Now this is a verse where the little words are very important, as is in all cases. But until you take a look at the little words in this verse, you don't get the full meaning of it. My son, hear the instruction of thy father.

Notice it says to hear the father. But then it comes and it says forsake not the law of thy mother, for they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, which is a symbolic thing that talks about the mind, I believe.

And then it goes on and says chains, or in other words, necklaces about thy neck. My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. Isn't it interesting the context we always find these things in. It is saying to hear the father and forsake not the law of the mother, and that way when sinners entice thee in your youth, you won't have to consent to it.

Why? Your mind will go back to mom. If you're a young man, your mind will go back to your mom and probably to your dad also, and you'll say, you know, I don't think I want to bring dishonor to my mom and dad.

I'm not going to do this. And if you're a young lady, your mind and heart will go back to that dad. Say, you know, I'm tempted, but I'm not going to do this because I do not want to dishonor or bring hurt to my dad.

Now let me show you something interesting about the language here. It says to hear the instruction of the father. This word instruction comes from a Hebrew word musar, which means chastisement. It means reproof and warning and also with chastisement, and that's the role of the father in this particular verse.

But then when it comes to the mom, it says the child is to keep the law, in other words, not forsake the law of thy mother. Now let me show you an interesting word. Sometime when you get a chance, look up the word law in this sentence in the Hebrew language.

Do you know that this word is the word Torah? Who can tell me what the Torah is? If Russ were here, we'd have a quick answer this morning, but who could tell me? It's actually specifically the first five books of the Old Testament.

But it's the book. It's the Bible. We would think of it, if we want to look at that as a type, to us it would be the Bible. To them it was the Bible as well. But isn't it interesting that the Bible says, hear the father, but don't forsake your mother's Bible.

That's what it says. Don't forsake your mother's Bible. Don't forsake the belief, the strong faith that your mother has, the things that she has taught you out of that book. Don't forsake them as you grow older.

The child is to avoid forsaking this. The word forsake is kind of interesting because it means to pound or to smite. It means to beat something out or to thrust it off. Doesn't that imply, ladies, to you that the more your faith and your voice places the words of God in that child's mind, the more difficult it would be for him to throw it off.

It's not like it's easy here. He says don't forsake the law of your mother. The more time and prayer and scripture you put into that young child's heart and life, the harder it is for him to take it and throw it.

It gets heavier. It's harder for him to just throw it off. And that's such an important role in the life of the mom. Proverbs 620 says, My son, keep thy father's commandment and forsake not the law of thy mother.

Bind them continually upon thine heart and tie them about thy neck. Listen, the mom has to have these before the child can tie them around his neck. This is a teaching about the influence that the mom has on the child, not that the pastor has on the child, not that the Bible teacher has on the child.

When you go into Deuteronomy in the section where it talks about the role of the parents in teaching the Bible, it doesn't necessarily say sit them down in a circle in the house and sit there and have Bible class.

What it says is go with them in the way. Speak of the words of God to them when you're in the way. When you're just walking down the path with them, talk about God. Talk about the things of God. When you sit down with them, speak of the things of God.

And when they go to bed at night, speak of the things of God. This is not something some teacher does, some preacher does. This is something that the mom does and the dad does. And as the rabbi said, the mom is the first and greatest teacher of the child.

Bind them continually around upon thine heart and around thine neck. The commandments, the Torah of the mom, when thou goest, it shall lead thee. When thou sleepest, it shall keep thee. And when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.

See, mom, you want to have your little voice come in the child's mind when they're in college, when they're an older teenager, when they go off to college, when they leave the home, when they go off to that home and they're married and they're setting up their own home and they're away from you.

Do you want to have that little voice of yours be heard in their mind when they're tempted to do something wrong? Well, then teach them the scriptures. Teach them your faith. Let your Bible be their Bible.

For the commandment is a lamp and the law is a light and reproofs of instruction are the way of life. Where do the reproofs come from? The preacher, the Bible teacher. They come from the mom. To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.

Ladies, you want to see the influence you can have on your sons for good. Lust not after her beauty in thy heart, this evil woman. Neither let her take thee with her eyelids. You think a dad's going to teach the son that?

He might. But I have to guarantee you he will teach. That is the mom. For by means of a whorish woman, a man is brought to a piece of bread and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Moms, you need to know this.

If you have a son, there are going to be more than one out there that Satan puts in his path to try to take his precious life. And you need to be the one that teaches him about this. So he that goeth into his neighbor's wife, whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent, but whosoever committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding.

Why does he not have the understanding? Mom and dad didn't teach it to him from the word of God. He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get and his reproach shall not be wiped away as long as he's on the face of this earth.

Moms, it's very important that you instill into your young men and your young girls the virtue of purity and the results that happen if they forsake that. Let them not forsake the Torah of their mother.

The Undivided Love and Presence of a Mother