Open Borders October 8 (Ep. 01: Cats vs Dogs)

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00:03

Welcome to the first video in our Open Borders October series.

00:07

I'm your host, Keith Foskey, also known as the Harbor Freight Doug Wilson.

00:12

For those who don't know, every year, the real Doug Wilson does No Quarter November, where he discusses the most controversial issues of our day.

00:20

I'm doing Open Borders October, to discuss things that are universally adored.

00:25

Like coffee.

00:29

Nothing like a cup of hot, bitter water.

00:32

My subject today is the debate over which is better, cats or dogs.

00:37

I'm going to give you a list of pro-cat arguments, and pro-dog arguments, and let you fight it out in the comments.

00:43

I have both cats and a dog, so I feel I can be a neutral representative of both parties in this debate.

00:50

On the pro-cat side, we know that cats are self-cleaning, while dogs find creative ways to get dirty and then lay on my couch.

00:58

I'm looking at you, Cupcake.

01:01

Cats are generally smaller than dogs, take up less room, and understand the importance of personal space.

01:07

Dogs tend to be larger, more likely to jump on you when you get home from work, and lick you with their giant, slobber-drenched tongues.

01:14

Cats are able to use litter boxes, and for the really creative cat owner, even able to use toilets.

01:20

Dogs poop on the floor, sometimes, I'm convinced, on purpose.

01:25

Cats decrease the chances of critters, including rats and snakes, and even the occasional bird, the bodies of which they will often present to you on your front steps like a trophy, because they're natural hunters.

01:36

Dogs chase their tails, and the occasional UPS driver.

01:40

Now for the pro-dog side.

01:42

Dogs are generally good companions, as opposed to cats, which sometimes willfully hate you.

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Dogs are able to be taught tricks.

01:49

Cats are certain that they are already smarter than you.

01:52

Dogs see their owners as their masters.

01:55

Cats know that in reality, they are the master.

01:58

Dogs, depending on size and temperament, can protect you from criminals.

02:01

Cats will likely join in on any burglary or robbery, violating you alongside a criminal.

02:07

Actually, based on these descriptions, I'm pretty sure that dogs are Baptists, and cats are Presbyterian.

02:16

So, are you a cat person or a dog person? Leave your answer, along with your reasons, in the comments.

02:22

The person who gives the best answer will win my dog cupcake.

02:25

I'll gladly ship her to you today.

02:28

Be on the lookout for our next Open Borders October video, and if you have a suggestion for a universally adored topic for me to discuss, be sure to let me know.