Open Borders October 8 (Ep. 01: Cats vs Dogs)

Welcome to the first video in our Open Borders October series.

I'm your host, Keith Foskey, also known as the Harbor Freight Doug Wilson.

For those who don't know, every year, the real Doug Wilson does No Quarter November, where he discusses the most controversial issues of our day.

I'm doing Open Borders October, to discuss things that are universally adored.

Like coffee.

Nothing like a cup of hot, bitter water.

My subject today is the debate over which is better, cats or dogs.

I'm going to give you a list of pro-cat arguments, and pro-dog arguments, and let you fight it out in the comments.

I have both cats and a dog, so I feel I can be a neutral representative of both parties in this debate.

On the pro-cat side, we know that cats are self-cleaning, while dogs find creative ways to get dirty and then lay on my couch.

I'm looking at you, Cupcake.

Cats are generally smaller than dogs, take up less room, and understand the importance of personal space.

Dogs tend to be larger, more likely to jump on you when you get home from work, and lick you with their giant, slobber-drenched tongues.

Cats are able to use litter boxes, and for the really creative cat owner, even able to use toilets.

Dogs poop on the floor, sometimes, I'm convinced, on purpose.

Cats decrease the chances of critters, including rats and snakes, and even the occasional bird, the bodies of which they will often present to you on your front steps like a trophy, because they're natural hunters.

Dogs chase their tails, and the occasional UPS driver.

Now for the pro-dog side.

Dogs are generally good companions, as opposed to cats, which sometimes willfully hate you.

Dogs are able to be taught tricks.

Cats are certain that they are already smarter than you.

Dogs see their owners as their masters.

Cats know that in reality, they are the master.

Dogs, depending on size and temperament, can protect you from criminals.

Cats will likely join in on any burglary or robbery, violating you alongside a criminal.

Actually, based on these descriptions, I'm pretty sure that dogs are Baptists, and cats are Presbyterian.

So, are you a cat person or a dog person? Leave your answer, along with your reasons, in the comments.

The person who gives the best answer will win my dog cupcake.

I'll gladly ship her to you today.

Be on the lookout for our next Open Borders October video, and if you have a suggestion for a universally adored topic for me to discuss, be sure to let me know.