GOD'S DESIGN FOR THE FAMILY (Introduction)

Got your attention, didn't we? All right. Hey, welcome to the Lord's Day gathering. I'm so glad that you've chosen to be here to worship with us today. It's it's great to be back with you. I I certainly enjoyed my time last week down in Florida at River Bend.

I was able to speak at the installation service of Josh Brown, which many of you know him. He he was installed as the preaching teaching elder there at River Bend. And it was a great time to celebrate with him.

But but being here with you. This is this is where I belong. This is what I long for. This is what I love and so I desperately missed last week. But I heard her pastor Jeremiah preached an excellent message and and I hope you were blessed by that time.

We after all are a covenant community. We are a people who have covenanted together. To to pursue kingdom-mindedness to grow in the fear and knowledge of the Lord together to disciple one another and.

So, of course, I hate missing this gathering because this is where really so much of our Spiritual formation takes place. I was telling the the the serving team and the band this morning. We were gathered to pray.

I said I'm becoming more and more convictionally convinced of Just how formative the Lord's Day gathering is to the Saint. It's not just essential and and and just like the writer of Hebrews says not to neglect the gathering of the Saints it is probably the most formative thing that a Christian can do and and when we think of when we think of being formed as Christians and we think of sanctification and growing in the Lord then.

We oftentimes we want everything now, we're a fast-food generation. We think well, man, I can be sanctified and if I'm you know in order to be sanctified real fast and I've you know. It's got to be all my Bible readings.

It's got to be all these YouTube videos and all these other sermons and all this other stuff and all those are icing on the cake. But they're not the cake the The way that the Lord has designed it is the Lord's Day gathering of a covenant people that have come together.

To truly form them and and I've said it before I believe that sanctification is not a microwave. It's a crockpot and so the constant Week in week out is forming you under God's design and God's Word. And so thank you for not neglecting it.

Because to neglect it is to neglect the care of your very souls and the souls of your brothers and sisters. That are here. So thank you covenant members for your commitment to bring your gifts to the benefit of this body.

Thank you for giving of your time. Thank you for giving of your resources. For as Paul says in Ephesians the building up of the body when all the parts are working properly. The body is built up in love, but I also want to say thank you to those that are guests and our regular Attenders.

Thank you for being here. We're so glad that you're with us and we want you to know that you are truly loved by the people of God. The people of God love you because we have been greatly loved by God and so we return that love and we care for you and one of the ways that we care for you is if You're a first time and and you got one of these connect cards.

We would ask that if you're willing fill that out. Drop it into the offering plate when the offering comes by there's a section on here. You can you can learn more about what it means to be a part of this particular covenant body of believers.

But more importantly there's a section at the bottom that says how can we pray for you. A Lot of churches will hand these connect cards out because the reason is is we want to get your contact Information because we want to seal the deal.

We want to get you here. That's not the purpose of this. This is so that we have a name and we have something that we can specifically pray for you. We have a group of believers that come in here on Tuesday mornings every Tuesday to pray by the way church.

You are welcome. Everyone is welcome between 7 and 8 to come and pray and we can pray very specifically the elders can pray for you. The deacons can be praying specifically for you. Everyone has prayer requests don't we if you don't have something to pray for then you're not really thinking hard enough because I do.

And so if you wouldn't mind just fill one of those out. That's one way that we can show love to you. And speaking of prayer every week before we start our service off before We officially launch with a call to worship.

We want to acknowledge and we want to pray for another local church. We're not the only Saints gathered today. Are we? There's Saints all over the world gathered there's Saints all over this community gathered and so we choose a different church and we have a rotation of churches that we Intentionally pray for as a people for their Lord's Day gathering and today we want to pray for Walnut Street Baptist.

Walnut Street Baptist, you've seen the big brick church building over off the highway. We have some connections there pastor. Jeremiah himself grew up in that church and and was Understood and saw the beauty of Christ in that church and was baptized in that church.

So we have some some serious roots there and the brothers and sisters are gathering this morning. So if you wouldn't mind bow with me, let's pray for Walnut Street Baptist this morning. Dear Heavenly Father.

Lord, we thank you for bringing us together. We thank you for your graciousness and prescribing the local church we thank you for your your mercy and grace in our lives of just how The Holy Spirit works in and through each of us in that.

And Lord, we want to lift up our brothers and sisters at Walnut Street Baptist Churches. Oh God, we love our brothers and sisters there. We we love them dearly. We long to see them flourish in their walk with you.

We long to see them Grow together as a people we long to see their leadership to have wisdom and discernment. God. I pray that Lord, I pray that you would be honored in their worship today. God I pray is that people gathers together that they would be molded.

That they would see the beauty of Christ. That they would be confronted with the the immensity of a triune. God God the Father that set his love upon them from before the foundations of the world. God the Son who who sought after them redeemed them by blood ransom and God the Holy Spirit who now Seals them as a guarantee for their inheritance and glory.

Lord, I pray that you would Work mightily in their midst. Lord that sanctifying work in their hearts. That of you who began a good work in them and you will see it to completion at the day of Christ Jesus.

You are working in them even now. God help them have patience. Understanding as they are committed to to your word and your truth. Lord, I pray that the pastors there would continue to hide behind the cross.

They would continue to hide behind your word because you are King. Be with them help them to know that we greatly love them in Christ's name. Amen. Amen. Let's stand. Let's start off our service this morning with a call to worship.

Our call to worship this morning comes from first Chronicles 16 verses 28 through 34. And we have laid it out as a read and response as we always do. This is this here is a portion of David's song of praise.

Where he says ascribe to the Lord. Oh families of the peoples. Ascribe to the Lord the glory Duke his name. Oh worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness. Tremble before him all the earth heavens be glad and let the earth rejoice.

Let the sea roar and all that fills it then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord. Oh Give thanks to the Lord for he is good and all God's people said Amen, I love that David says that a portion there when he says then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord all of Creation declares his glory does it not and we are without excuse.

All man sees the creation and sees that it's pointing to a creator that is sovereign over all of Creation and that's the God that we have been brought into union with the rest of creation that all of The the pagan nations the pagan peoples out there.

He is their judge and executioner. Oh To us. He's our father. Because of the blood of Christ that has brought us into this glorious union with him and together. Let's pray to that great God, let's pray a prayer of adoration before we sing dear Heavenly Father God we bow before you once again and we come before you as a people.

Acknowledging that even the trees cry out your praise. God the mountains declare your glory. As as immense as the ocean is that we see and it's overwhelming. It is it is nothing compared to to the God you are.

You are worthy of all praise this morning when we say that Lord. Let it not be lip service. But but a truth that we as your people are declaring. Oh God you are worthy of praise. You and you alone. But I pray that this morning in the hearts of all of your children here that that we would see Your beauty in a greater way.

That we would grow in the fear and knowledge of you may you be worshipped in our midst be honored in Christ's name.

Not a fan you will cheer me on joy now. I got his for the father's love. Gave his son to more time. His son. Enjoy now. I got his for us. The father's love is a strong and mighty Fortress. Raise your voice now.

No love is greater Who can stand against. Enjoy now? I got his for Christ in power. Christ resurrected as we will be when he comes.

And we now rest in that resurrection. Don't we for it is sure it is Absolute and in the meantime as we are constantly being reminded of we fall short. We fall into sin. How many of you have fallen prey to sin this week?

How many of you fall and pray to sin this morning. How many have fallen prey to sin in the last hour Austin is it not? No, we we long for glory as Paul says who will deliver me from this wretched flesh, but in the meantime we acknowledge our sin confess our sin.

Oftentimes we must confess our sins one to another but ultimately we must confess our sins to the one that is paid for. And we do that corporately on Sundays as we gather through a prayer of confession and assurance.

We confess we also Worship praise God for the great assurance that we stand in. There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Amen. So bow with me. Let us pray this prayer of confession and Subsequently assurance father we.

We just saying of that great truth and we sang these words. See the price of our Redemption. See the Father's plan unfold bringing many sons to glory grace unmeasured. Love untold the Lord we he loved that truth.

We believe that truth. Or we rest in that truth, oh, but our flesh wars against us. It does the things that we don't want to do and we we don't do the things that we want to do each of us Individually has fallen short and we're so reminded Constantly of our desperate and continual need of Christ The true and better Adam Savior the representative for none of us.

None of us could stand It if we could strip ourselves from the hand of Christ we would because our flesh wars against us. Oh, but we cannot because Christ said all that the Father gives me. I have not lost one.

Oh, thank you. But we confess our sin before you this morning both individually and corporately. There's so many areas where we as a covenant people together as a church we fall short. We do not obey you as we ought.

We do not do the things that we should. We do not live fully and completely and holistically for you. We find we find ourselves at odds with each other. We find ourselves Harming each other. We find ourselves not forgiving each other.

We find ourselves harboring bitterness and frustrations and disunity. We find ourselves God Falling short of the standard of what you've called us to be. And we confess that to you this morning. And we confess our desperate need for you to work in our lives and mold us and change us to be that forgiving people to be a diligent People that serves you mightily but in the meantime as you are sanctifying us.

Oh Lord, we rest in the assurance That as we said it you've not lost one of us. And you will finish that work in us that we stand Boldly before you this morning. Not because of our own righteousness or perfection.

We get to stand and sing these truths to you because of the righteousness of Christ that is imputed to us. And we cannot lose it. Oh Lord, we thank you work in us this morning. Our scripture reading this morning comes from Genesis 2.

Verses 15 through 24 Says the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man saying you may surely eat of every tree of the garden. But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat.

For in the day that you eat it you shall surely die. Then the Lord God said It is not good that man should be alone. I I will make him a helper fit for him now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and and brought them to The man to see what he would call them and and whatever the man called every living creature That was its name the man gave names to all livestock.

And to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field but for Adam. There was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man. And while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh.

The rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman And brought her to the man. And the man said this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of a man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. Lord we ask once again that you would work in our hearts and minds. Or as we talk about God's design for the family today father, I pray that you Would mold us.

I pray that you would help us to see your truth.

Loving us so much for loving me so much and worthy, but I'm so grateful That you loved me enough to save my soul. What I praise you for this This these people this morning here or the Saints they gather together here this morning Lord to worship and praise you father an awesome Worship service Lord.

I just pray that you would be with the remainder of this service Lord. I pray that you would be with pastor Nathan as he comes and stands before us this morning Lord and Preaches your word boldly Lord Lord.

We're so grateful Lord, and I pray that you would bless this offering We're about to take up in obedience to you Father, I love you. Praise you ask all these things in Jesus precious and holy name All of God's people sin.

Amen. I was thinking as we were singing that song.

If ever I loved you my Jesus it is now how far My love for him falls short, but as we prayed earlier in our confession of our confession assurance His love is perfect and As we sang there in that song You loved me first.

His love is true and sure and absolute and perfect. Amen. Amen. Well God's design. God's design is good. God's ways are always good. That's because God himself is good and all that he does is good and when he spoke the universe into motion by the word of his mouth he then declared It is good.

And then We see the evil one slithering in doing. He slithers into this good creation with God really say comes to Eve and He says actually actually Eve. I just want you to know he's holding out on you.

What he said was bad was eating the tree of that fruit the fruit of that tree there. But that's not bad. It's actually what is good and he's just holding out on you Eve. He's keeping the good for himself and if you want to get some of that good if you want to be like him.

Don't let him trick you Go ahead and eat of the fruit. And this game plan of the evil one was Was so successful that that he's gone ahead and kept the playbook. Has he not this is. This is something that works.

And so he's continued his hatred for God and subsequently God's design has driven him Passionately to destroy that good design and you all know the story when Adam Was handed the fruit by his wife and takes a bite.

He fell prey to the trick. The evil one attained an army of children Seeking to do the same for every one from henceforth was stillborn in sin and enmity with the Creator and his good creation and They were all primed for the deception.

Here's the thing what what Satan quickly realized though was that He was unable to destroy God's design. That's what he desired. But he could not. The law of God was still written on their hearts. After all, he is the Creator and all of creation bears his fingerprints.

You cannot look around as we said earlier and not see the glory of God. The trees cry out to the glory of God the mountains the waters The stars the Sun the moon all of it cries out because it bears the fingerprint of the Creator and The pinnacle of his creation the one tasked with the authority and care of the rest of all of it was made in his very image.

Not just bearing his fingerprint, but actually created in his image. Though marred by sin they still bear the imago Dei the image of God. So much so that the evil one would love to thoroughly destroy God's design within this creation a design That's so ingrained into this creation that even sin cannot thoroughly do away with it.

He has merely resigned to distort God's good creation and design. His Desire was to destroy but he cannot so he must seek to distort and one of the ways that he is successfully distorted God's good design is in the area that we are going to be looking at over the next few weeks as we come to this portion within Ephesians and chapter 5 verse 22 as a matter of fact, if you have a copy of God's Word You can go ahead and turn there with me.

But it is where we see a picture of God's design for the family and like I said, we are going to be in this small series for a few weeks and We're going to this week read the whole of this section on through the first four verses of chapter 6.

But I want us to read here in Ephesians chapter 5 starting in verse 22. This is where we left off when we stopped Ephesians a few weeks back. Paul says wives. Submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife. Even as Christ is the head of the church his body and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit and everything to their husbands.

Husbands. Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. That he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. So that he might present the church to himself in Splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy and without blemish.

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh. But nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body.

Well, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. Well, this mystery is profound and and I am saying that it refers to Christ on the church.

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Children. Obey your parents in the Lord. This is right. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.

Fathers. Do not provoke your children to anger. But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Says the reading of God's Holy inspired word would you bow with me once again as we ask that the Holy Spirit would illuminate our hearts and minds to this truth.

We come before you and we ask once again. That you work in our hearts. Lord our our sinful flesh has created a distortion of your word and so when we come to your words here We often read it through the lens of that distortion.

Forgive us. Help us. Help us to see it clearly as it should be seen. Give us wisdom. Discernment give us insight. Illuminate our hearts and minds to its truth and let us not be hearers of the word only but doers of that word.

In Christ's name. Amen. Well, as I said a few weeks ago, we got we got closer to as we got closer to these verses I really began to to ponder on on just how distorted this particular design has become.

Those within our culture. They openly mock what we just read. What an out? dated barbaric concept. Surely surely we've evolved from this. We're now smarter and wiser than that old. Way that old way of thinking.

Well, we're a scientific people. We we understand things better than they did at that time. And After all, we've we've seen the evidence that this design this structure is not good. That's how the world approaches it.

And here's the thing we expect that way of thinking from those Within the world for they are of their father the devil as scripture says right so they're deceived however. My concern is that this deception has greatly affected us Within the church in ways that I'm not sure we're aware of at times and in preparation to preach These texts that we just read I found that most of our brothers pastors and and and scholars and theologians.

They they at least within biblical circles, right? They exegete this text. Well. They see what the text says and and they teach what the text says praise the Lord they see it. They say wives submit to your husbands husbands.

Love your wives children. Obey your parents fathers a discipline. Well, oh and by the way, all of this is pointing to a greater reality the gospel. You see most of them most biblical pastors. They teach this and they teach it.

Well, but you see this is where I think the evil ones distortion has come into play. We within the church Are often not railing against biblical submission or male headship at least at a surface level.

We have our own interpretations of it at times. But after all we we see it here. We just read the words so we know good and well that we must obey it and praise God for the yet It it's only part of the picture of God's great design these few verses are only part of the picture.

You see here's the thing God has reason for his good design. God is a God of order and reason and logic. That's the only way we have logic. Is it not? Because God is logical and more often than not those reasons are laid out for us in a very logical and Unreasonable way and this is one of those areas and this is where the deception comes in just as Satan tried to convince Eve That God didn't really say not to eat of the tree.

Right. He said is that in Genesis 3 1 he comes in and God actually say you shall not eat of this tree of the garden. He poses the question to test and what does she do? Thankfully in verse 2 Eve affirms that God Oh God did say not to eat of this tree.

And so what does he do in the next couple of verses? He changes the game plan. He said You will not surely die. He says for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God knowing good and evil.

What is Satan doing here? He's not denying that God said he's questioning his motives and His purpose and saying He's questioning his goodness and wisdom he's questioning his design and now today we in the church we see God's words here and places like our text and Ephesians and We like Eve affirm at some level that yeah God said it without truly understanding it believing it or loving it and And truly obeying it and that's because as I said a moment ago We are often missing often missing the beauty logic and reasoning behind it and This leaves our flesh susceptible to Distorting what God clearly said it's kind of like Telling telling a child not to ride their bike in that busy highway.

You give them parameters and you say you say you can ride in the cul-de-sac you can ride in the driveway. But do not go out into the busy street and they ask as they always do Why? But then your answer is because I said so.

Which we all know is a perfectly sufficient answer right kids in the room if mom and dad say because I said so that's sufficient. But here's the problem but in their sinful rebellious minds You don't have sufficient reason and they begin to think you just don't want them to have fun but when you show them the wisdom of the of why you don't want them to play in that busy street the danger that comes with being in that busy street and That your love for them demands that you guard them from it.

Then that child is more likely to see the beauty of that prohibition. Is he not? Now some children Still won't listen. Right. Some of us are just that foolish pointing at myself as a child. But there there's a better chance of them understanding The reason why not in the same way?

We are affirming that God said wives submit husbands love children obey all the while not Really truly knowing the why? Leaving many I think we have it listed on the screen here leaving many. Some obeying it begrudgingly leaving others to questioning it silently most Misunderstanding it fundamentally and even those who are denouncing it rebelliously these four categories are all distortions of God's good design and This is why today's message feels very different than normal.

I feel uncomfortable up here this morning because I'm typically exegeting a text by this point. But we the elders felt it incumbent upon us to spend the next couple of weeks Laying the foundation of the why of God's design before we jump headfirst into Ephesians 5 22 hoping to guard you the Saints from any distortion of why and how to approach this design from God because as I said a moment ago we Many pastors will preach this text.

I've listened to so many sermons so far on these texts. I'm like, yes, and I'm in like they're preaching them right like they're good and As we think about it, we realize there's so many of us that our worldview has a standing over here on this foundation and then we preach this text that is built on this foundation and And we just keep building the building on that foundation.

Well, everyone's stuck over here not seeing the beauty and intricacy of the building. But just watching the building rise from the other side and having no context whatsoever for the why they should be in that building and So we must guard you from that.

That's why the next couple of weeks will be this. When it comes to God's design for the family, there are essentially three prominent positions and These are foundations that I need to give you these are Theological terms that are used when understanding God's design for the family and these three prominent positions are egalitarianism.

Complementarianism and patriarchy. There is of course variation within all three, but they are distinct nonetheless. And again, I am having to give you a 30 ,000 foot flyover view this morning of it. I'm just introducing some concepts to you.

Let's look at egalitarianism. Egalitarianism is this it comes from a French word ego, which just means equal and This phrase was popularized by a man by the name of John Locke during what was known as the Enlightenment period.

This this is where we get much of today's liberal thought. It kind of derived from this period of time and period of thought and at face value. This word egalitarianism is really just referring to equality this racial equality social equality.

Even at certain levels gender equality and so At face value. Yes, we can affirm this we affirm Equality we affirm that every person is made in the image of God and and worthy of equal value and and and worth right, but at its core This word is really meant to erode away at God's designed distinctions between male and female.

In theological circles this this position of egalitarianism distorts passages such as Paul writing in Galatians 3 28. They they take the passage that says there is neither Jew nor Greek. There is neither slave nor free.

There is no male and female for you are all one in Christ Jesus and try to claim That all distinctions between male and female were simply a result of the fall claiming that Adam and Eve were equal in role position and duty in the garden and That male headship was nothing more than a consequence of sin.

When God told Eve that your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you. But now in their view that Christ has freed us from the bondage of sin. Those distinctions are No more Meaning men and women are equal in role nature and position in all spheres of life including the church and the home.

They believe women can be pastors elders and they believe that women can be heads of households. And when it comes to the passages that that clearly forbid those two things they either Denounce them fully.

They denounce the infallibility of Scripture altogether. Or they come up with some sloppy Exegetical gymnastics, it's it's really wild to see how they come up with it they're like Oh but this word over here this could have meant that and this word and they and they they Manipulate and twist it to whatever they want it to be or they simply say.

Oh, that was Paul's opinion. Not Jesus and so this is how they approach it and We will be addressing many of these things over the next few weeks mind you in greater detail. I'm simply giving you like I said a basic introduction of our terms.

Just know that our culture is fully egalitarian. There is absolutely no distinction in any sphere whatsoever to our culture and Here's the thing any church. I want to give you a warning up front any church that prop falls prey to this position.

I'm gonna make a bold statement. They what do you call them Nathan bombs? Okay I'm gonna make a bold statement. Any church that affirms this is not a church at all. They have fundamentally Disobeyed King Jesus by disobeying his words or manipulating his words.

Don't get me wrong. I believe there are Christians. There are brothers and sisters who have been deceived by this distortion. I've seen many I've loved many I've cared for I've ministered to many and They have most certainly not lost their salvation over believing something like egalitarianism.

But a church that holds to the teaching is by no means a true local ecclesia. There may be true believers there, but a gathered group of true believers does not make a church not a local church and Anyone who teaches in those churches is most certainly a false teacher.

Scripture is Way too clear on this matter. Way too clear for anyone to make the excuse that we can agree to disagree. Now if you've been here for any amount of time You know that we affirm there are most certainly areas in Scripture where we can agree to disagree.

There are many disagreements in this room and that's okay. We love to be able to have those dialogues and disagree on theological matters. But this is not one of them because of its clarity in Scripture.

And hopefully you will see that by the end of this series. The second position that you see here Complementarianism. This term was popularized by John Piper and Wayne Grudem. You probably know at least one of those if not both of those names.

They they used this phrase in their book rediscovering biblical manhood and womanhood. They did quite a bit of work on this throughout the 1980s and I think the book came out in the early 90s and This was of course a response to a rapidly increasing bombardment of egalitarianism within the church community.

Establishing the biblical principle of God's distinct roles for both male and female was their motive here. While maintaining the fact that men and women are most certainly equal image bearers of God.

With equal value worth and dignity. It was a great work. I've benefited greatly from it. I highly encourage you to look into it. But even though they affirm that they affirm that those two have differing roles that are designed to complement one another hence the word complementarianism.

Yet e egalitarianism equal complementarianism equal but equal in this way distinct roles. That are complementary to each other in God's good design. So when scripture says in places like 1st Timothy 2 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man.

Of course speaking of the context within the church body or texts like Ephesians 5 22 that we just read wives Submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. Speaking of the context of the home We understand them to be forbidding anything but male headship within the church and within the home and That they are not lesser positions, but complementary positions designed by God.

We believe this to be a biblically accurate Summarization of of what scripture teaches us about the distinction of roles at least within the church and the home. But you see this is precisely what I was warning about earlier when I pointed to the fact that we see That command of the roles between male and female like a parent telling their child not to ride in the busy street with little to no context as to why and Leading many of us to obeying it begrudgingly questioning it silently.

Misunderstanding it fundamentally or denouncing it rebelliously. I thank the Lord that most of you are obeying it at least at some level. But if you are honest with yourselves. There are times when you you are simply obeying because you know, you have to.

Husbands if you're honest you acknowledge that there are many times you're not loving and leading. In your home, right? At least as you ought to. And you're not because your love for Christ. You're not doing it because of your love for Christ and because you see the beauty of God's good design.

You're loving and leading begrudgingly. Well God's Word says I have to. I have to love and I have to lead. Yeah, I better pull myself up by my bootstraps and do it and it's it's leaving us men so many men that I counsel with to fall short in this area.

You're certainly not loving well, and you're definitely not leading well, and you know it. And you wonder why? I'm trying to obey it wives. You're obeying outwardly praise God. But inwardly you're calling your husband every name in the book except for the good ones.