Sexual Ethics And The Gospel (part 5) - [1 Corinthians 7:7-9]

Well, Happy Mother's Day. Now that we've got that over, turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 1. I was waiting for a response, but what were you to say? Happy Mother's Day back? You didn't say that. We're going through the book of 1 Corinthians.

And I thought it was fairly ironic that the message today is a message to single people on Mother's Day. So maybe some of the mothers are single, so it might just work out well. Pretty much the MO around here is short of Christmas and Resurrection Sunday.

We just try to get in a book and just go verse by verse by verse so you can see the context, see the mind of God. And as I've studied the passage this week, I first looked at it like I'm not so sure about it.

And then as the week went on, it kept getting more exciting and more exciting and more exciting to see the mind of God and how He plans things and what He wants from you in response. I was thinking this week that today's society is very similar to Judah back in the day when sexual perversion was horrible.

Listen to Jeremiah 5. They committed adultery and trooped to the harlot's house. They were well-fed, lusty horses, each one named after his neighbor's wife. What a word picture to describe the sexual sin of the day.

God said, shall I not punish these people? And on a nation such as this, shall I not avenge myself? We too, like Judah, are living in this kind of culture. So how do we navigate this sexual society full of landmines everywhere?

I remember years ago the family, we were in the Ardennes and walking around where Easy Company was holding off some of the Germans. And to think that years later they found over 100 ,000 landmines still around.

What do we do here now in a culture? What do married people do? What do single people do? What do you do as a Christian when it comes to sexual temptation and sexual fidelity? And so here in 1 Corinthians chapter 5, 6, 7, the main topic is sexual purity, sexual fidelity.

And I've entitled the series, Victory Over Sexual Temptation. Or maybe I think when I pulled up it's called, the sign is, Sexual Ethics in the Gospel. I pulled up this week, and last week it was part 4, and I pulled up on Wednesday or Tuesday was it?

And I saw on the sign out front, Sexual Ethics in the Gospel part 47. Some wise person, wise guy, wise lady added the 7 up there. It's like that Puritan in New England literally for 40 years preached through Isaiah.

And when he died he was in Isaiah chapter 8. Never got any farther. And so buckle up I guess, here we go. I think this will be our last in the series of Victory Over Sexual Temptation. Some of that God needs you to know.

You need to know. Whether you're older or younger, this is good truth for you. And so big picture let's have a review on how to overcome sexual temptation. Because we didn't do big picture last week. Number 1 we learned that if you'd like to overcome sexual temptation and be pure, you should rehearse the gospel.

Let's go back to chapter 1 verse 2. Rehearsing the gospel. Why is this important? Because we just can't parachute into chapter 6. We just can't parachute into chapter 7 and say, here's all the list of what you should do.

Because that's just moralism. That's just legalism. In light of the cross, in light of what God has done for you. He totally did all these things for you. And then a response should be, well thank you.

I will respond to you with a life of obedience. Because of your great love for us, I now will respond. The indicative of the gospel, Jesus died for our sins. Was raised from the dead. We respond to that indicative with the imperative, obey.

And so chapter 1 verse 2. To the church of God, that is in Corinth. To those sanctified in Christ Jesus. Called to be saints together with all those in every place. Call upon the name of the Lord, Lord Jesus Christ.

Both their Lord and ours. And then if you move to chapter 1 verse 9. It's the same kind of language where God alone is the Savior. Not God and us. It's not we're walking together for salvation. It's not my will and God's will.

It's not God plus our works. It's only God. Look at verse 9. God is faithful. He will promise and He will perform that promise. By whom you were called into the fellowship of the Son. Jesus Christ our Lord.

Friends, if you're a Christian. Paul wants you to be reminded. It's because God made you a Christian. First Peter chapter 1. God caused you to be born again. Ephesians chapter 2. God made you alive. Colossians chapter 2.

God made you alive. And if you have been made a Christian. With all that goes with it. How about forgiveness of sins? How about justification? How about imputed righteousness? How about the hope of heaven?

How about the Spirit of God dwelling in you? And the list goes on and on and on. If God alone did that. How should you respond? Now if God just half did that. And you supplied the rest. God did everything He could.

He was waiting for your free will to be exercised. And your faith to add to what He did. To make the deal done. Then I don't think the weight of this comes across. You say well if God did half. Then my response to the half He did.

Might be half hearted obedience. But since God did it all. God is the author of our faith. Jesus died on the cross. Our free will didn't. Our faith didn't. God alone works. And so our response should be.

God I want to serve you. With my body. I want to be pure and faithful. Sexually even. I couldn't help but read it this week. It was so classic. Charles Spurgeon. Was talking about this idea of. We have only come to Christ Jesus.

By the work of the spirit of God. Of course after He did the work. We did believe. We did ascent. We did exercise. Belief that's true. But that didn't cause anything. That was the result of it. No one in this congregation said.

By my own free will I became a Christian. Not one person. And so listen to Spurgeon. Who talks about people who pray. In such a way. That they think God did most of the work. But they just had to add a little bit.

Here's Spurgeon's prayer. Of that kind of person. Lord I thank thee. That I'm not like those poor presumptuous. Sovereign gracers. Lord I was born with a glorious free will. I was born with power. By which I can turn to thee of myself.

I have improved my grace. If everybody had done the same. With their grace that I have. They might have all been saved. Lord I know. That thou does not make us willing. If we are not willing ourselves.

Now give us grace to everybody. Some do not improve it. But I did. It was not thy grace that made us to differ. I know it was a great deal. Still I turned the point. I made use of what was given me. And others did not.

Lord that's the difference between them and me. But since salvation was monergistic. Since salvation was something that was done to you. And of course you responded with faith. But God caused your salvation.

He did it all. Grace to the nth degree. Then you say to yourself. In light of what God has done. I should honor him. I should honor him in every area. Including sexually. Number two. How do you have victory over sexual temptation?

One. You rehearse the gospel. Two. Let's go to chapter six. You don't rationalize. No rationalizing sins. And we looked at that in chapter six. Verses twelve and thirteen. They would get a slogan. And they would make that slogan run on all fours.

If you like to sin. Believe me. You'll try to figure out a way to do it. You'll try to get in such a way. That you'll have it all just worked out. So you can sleep well at night. Verse twelve. All things are lawful for me.

But not all things are helpful. Paul said. All things are lawful for me. See that's the slogan. All things are lawful. Well obviously sexual sin is not lawful. He just said back in chapter six verses nine and ten.

That's not lawful. All sex outside of marriage isn't lawful. And then there's another. Slogan to verse thirteen. Food is meant for the stomach. And the stomach for food. When you get hungry. And your stomach growls.

You have to what? Eat. And when you get hungry. With a physical appetite. A sexual appetite. Then you must enjoy yourself. And Paul says. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. How do you overcome sexual sin?

Number three. Have a right view of your body. Found in the rest of the verses in chapter six. A right view of the body. The stomach is going to be gone in heaven. But you'll have your body in heaven. And that body has been bought with a price.

That body is the Holy Spirit's temple. Verse twenty of chapter six. You are bought with a price. So therefore glorify God with your body. Sexual context. Number four. If you're married how do you have victory over sexual temptation.

We saw this last week verses 1 through 6 of chapter 7 what's the answer. If you struggle sexually and you're tempted God says if you're married enjoy your spouse. Enjoy your spouse in this regard found in chapter 7 verses 1 to 6 verse 5 do not deprive one another.

We know the context except perhaps for agreement for a limited time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer then come together again so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Now we move to number 5 victory over sexual temptation. Number 5 found in verses 7 8 9 this morning if you're single and you struggle with sexual temptation get married. If you're single and you struggle with sexual temptation get married.

So here's what we'll do this morning. I'm going to give you three biblical truths from these verses and then they'll be two options in light of the truth one of the ways to go. And again of course this is written to Christian people have the Spirit of God who are able to obey the context.

Still in chapter 5 6 7 is the sexual context. So let me give you the three truths. And then in light of the three truths two directions that we could go or you could go first general truth is found in verse 7.

Here's the truth. Paul is not commanding celibacy our abstinence for everyone. Paul is not commanding it. Let's look at verse 7. You'll know why I phrased it that way. As you look at the verse many things you should identify.

You should follow the Apostle Paul as he does. But it's not WWPD. What would Paul do. Sometimes that works just like sometimes WWJD works. And sometimes especially for the desert. 40 years 40 40 years 40 days.

If you're in the desert for 40 years especially doesn't work. Verse 7. Paul's not commanding abstinence. I wish it all were as I myself am. Each has his own gift from God one of one kind one of another.

Well this begs the question. Doesn't it Paul then what were you. Doesn't it beg the question. Paul what are you. We'll talk more about this later. But Paul is not married at the moment. And he's identifying himself with these unmarried people.

I will learn in a minute. Was he divorced. And what did he lose his wife. What was going on there right now. Paul doesn't have a spouse and he now it's like he's backpedaling a little bit and he's trying to make sure the people are not going to say Paul you are celibate.

You are single. You abstain. Therefore that's the only way to go. His preference for celibacy is exactly that. His preference celibacy is good. Abstinence is good but it's not for everyone. Sexual desire is fine.

Celibacy though is also good. Paul is not pushing sexual celibacy. You know so language again. I wish this is not a command. This doesn't sound like Paul very often. I wish this would happen. I wish it could be this.

Paul is usually these are the commands in light of the gospel. He refuses to push this preference upon others. And I immediately thought we know of religions. Don't we that push this preference on some of the people in their congregations.

We know well and we know the fallout. We know one particular large religion that does that. And they say that celibacy is an eschatological sign of the church that is celibacy in heaven. They're not married or given in marriage.

And so the best thing we could do is be celibate on earth. There are many other religious organizations that do the same thing. Shakers imposed by the leader. No sexual relations. I found Buddhists that do the same thing Hindus the Harmony Society.

A fraud a cloister. A lot of these die out pretty quickly because of obvious reasons. But some don't. Here's the main point that I want to make it explicit. And it's only an implied truth. But I want you to see it clearly.

Paul is not commanding celibacy. He's not commanding abstinence. Second truth that helps us get a foundation for these two suggestions. These two commands that are going to be later. Number one. Paul's not commanding abstinence.

Number two don't forget that the gift of singleness doesn't have to be perpetual. The gift of celibacy does not have to be forever on this earth. The gift of abstinence doesn't mean if you're absent now you never can get married.

I remember some of these people are already married. They've lost their spouses. And now we're talking to these people. Paul was talking to these people. Did you know Paul was married before. I can't find a verse for it.

But here's why I think Paul was married before. One. When he identifies with any group in 1st Corinthians 7 he doesn't identify with the virgins. Later in chapter 7 he identifies with these people who were married and no longer are married to any Jewish leader of the day would have to be married.

Three. If you're a member of the Sanhedrin which we think Paul probably was probably acts 2610 makes an allusion to it to be a part of the Sanhedrin. You had to be married. It's almost every good commentator thinks Paul was married.

Now Paul is married and when he's married he's with his wife. He would be disobeying his own commands the Lord's command if he wasn't. But now he's single and happy to be celibate. Happy to abstain. Happy to have the gift of singleness.

And now he's talking to these other people that are going to the sack same thing. This is not Matthew 19. Some people are eunuchs for the kingdom. Some people are made eunuchs. This is I first get saved and and I realize you know what.

I don't have any to forget. Salvation. I don't have any desire to be with someone in the opposite sex. That's not what we're talking about here. That's not we're talking about at all. This is talking about contentedness sexually.

For a time one man said that Paul's gift concerns the capacity to concentrate on the work of the gospel without being distracted by sexual desires. Whether unexpressed or is in the case of the celibate are expressed for those married is suggested by what follows in verse 9.

Look back at the text again. One has this gift and another has that. He's not talking about. One has the gift of celibacy forever and the other gets the gift of marriage he's talking about. One has the gift of contentment doing gospel work like Paul.

He had already been married. He didn't have the lifelong gift of celibacy because he got married. Not at all. You know what I thought. There are people like this. If you haven't read about Elizabeth Elliot you probably should she courted Jim Elliot or Jim Elliot properly courted her.

They were married in 1953. By the way Jim didn't think he he ever wanted to get kind of bogged down with a lady. And then as he got to know Elizabeth more they married 1953 and Jim was killed in 1956.

In 1959 she returns with her daughter Valerie at four years old with Rachel st. the widow of Nate st. And they return and move back down with the tribe that killed her husband and killed Rachel's husband.

So she obviously doesn't have the lifelong gift of celibacy. And she gets married to Jim. Jim is killed. And then she moves back down for gospel ministry content happy happy to serve the Lord. Exactly what Paul was talking about.

That's what Paul was doing. I'm happy in gospel ministry. But then interestingly she moves back in 1963 to the United States and she does what. In 1969 she gets married to Addison Leach. So like Paul married obviously not the lifelong gift of eunuch hood celibacy.

I've met some people who say you know I never have any desire and I just assumed serve the Lord my entire life. I'm not attracted to the opposite sex at all. That's the Matthew 19 kind of person. That's not the first Corinthians 7 kind of person who says I'm I'm unmarried I'm widowed I'm divorced I'm single.

And I would like to get married maybe someday. But my focus now is on the gospel. I can do it without being distracted by the way. Addison died and then he died in 1973 and then in 1977 she remarried Lars.

What was she doing in the meantime. She was gospel. She was serving the gospel gospel ministry. Just a pastoral point here. If you are older and you've never been married or if you're older because and you had been divorced or you were lost a spouse early on and you think I wonder if I will ever marry again.

The answer could be yes. If you're 40 30 50 years old and you say I'm not married yet I haven't been with a person in marriage. I wonder if I ever will or I wonder if I have the gift of singleness. You could be thinking yourself.

I know some of you right now who are saying to yourself maybe I do have the gift of singleness. But if you knew what goes on in my heart and my desires that I have I have a desire to be with the spouse.

Well there's hope for you. How about that. I'm here to tell you if you have desires for a spouse and desires for sexual relations in marriage then you don't have the gift of singleness the celibacy unit kind of Matthew chapter 19 discussion.

And let me give you some other hope. If you are now single because of you've always been single you've been divorced you have lost your spouse. And you say to yourself you know I don't have any desire to get remarried.

I have any desire to be with a husband again. No desire to be with the wife again. And I just want to serve the Lord. If you later on meet someone that you find attractive and you date them properly court them properly.

Whatever terminology we'll use we'll talk about that later. And you change your mind and say I really do have a desire to be with them physically. You know what. That's okay. How great is that. That's okay.

That's exactly what happened to Elizabeth Elliot. This singleness in 1st Corinthians 7 is not always perpetual. It's not necessarily perpetual. Truth number three. And then we'll have the two options.

Truth number three general truth. One Paul's not commanding absence abstinence. Or two singleness doesn't have to be perpetual number three. Don't forget that God's gifts are designed always to build up the body of Christ.

Verse 7. If God gives a gift you mark it down. It's always for the building up and edification of the body. Now chapter 12. Gift of tongues gift of interpretation gift of teaching gift of helps. There's another kind of gift that's not put in the spiritual gifts category.

And that is the gift that you stay content where you are when it comes to this area. But what he says in verse 7 again I wish that all were as myself am. But each has his own. What. Gift from God. This is a gift from God.

Charisma is the Greek word one from one kind and one of another. These are bestowed graciously by God for the building up of the church. Let me put it this way. When it's Christmas time what do people like to say.

There's a reason for the season. People say that to you. Fairly quiet somber group this morning are 47 cents. There's a reason for this season in your life. And if you are between spouses you're single you're not married.

You're widowed you're a widower. There's a reason for this. And if you're content to be the way you are now the reason is so you can serve full bore for the Lord. You can be like Anna who at 84 years old is serving like man.

I have news for you. Those of you who are married have a harder time serving than those of you who are single. Talk about that chapter 7. I have to be concerned about my wife. I mean I've got you know a low-maintenance wife.

I was heard one guy said what's the what's worse than having a high-maintenance wife. Having a high-maintenance wife who thinks she's low-maintenance. That's bad. And I have a low-maintenance wife who knows she's low-maintenance.

But I still have to be concerned about. Is Kim happy. How's Kim doing. I want to make sure that if I don't love her I'm not loving myself. It's harder to serve the gospel and be in gospel ministry when you're married.

So if you're in this season of life now and you say well I have no desire ever. I'm like a unit been made unit by God and Matthew 19 I never want to ever be with anybody great serve like man. But if you're a chapter 7 kind of person that says for whatever reason single because you have always been single you're divorced you're widowed you're a widower.

And now you know what. It's not that big a deal for me to be with somebody again. Maybe it could happen one day but right now I'm content you are to be servants serving the local church. I'd go so far to say this most singles groups that I know they are consumed with themselves all the other married people and we're single.

I remember years ago I got here and they said some people said we want a singles ministry at this church. And I said the singles ministry at BBC is the singles need to serve. That's your ministry because you don't have to have a spouse to be concerned about.

It doesn't mean that singles can't get together and do what they do. I don't mean that at all. But if you are single this is a gift from God. Then you need to build up the body of Christ. And you know the good news is as I look around at some of you are single that's exactly what you do.

Good job. Way to go. This kind of gift comes from God. It doesn't come by yourself. It doesn't make you don't get it by a vow. The Pope doesn't force you to have it. This is from God for the building up of the body.

If you're single there's a reason for that. So those are the truths. And now there's two paths for the singles. Okay path number one is found in verse 8. Two paths. And only two paths if you're single and you're a Christian path one if you don't have the nagging dominating thoughts of sexual intimacy you don't have to be married.

You can be content as a single person. Verse 8 to the unmarried. It's very general term to be unmarried in any category. It's a broad term separated divorced widowed single never married to the unmarried.

And the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. He thinks it's good. Why is it good. Hey God says it's good be because you can serve a lot. And so if you're not distracted you're you're a married person.

You've lost your spouse. And then now you say but I'm not distracted by the sexual intimacy and the desire. And it's not dominating my thinking. It's not just kind of gnawing on me all the time. I'd like that back again.

By the way it's not bad to have that desire. God gave you hormones. God gave you those desires. It's just always bad to go too far in your mind. And it's always bad to have sexual relations before you're married.

But Paul is saying it's excellent. The Greek word is it's beneficial that if you're not dominated by the thoughts of I need a spouse I need a spouse I need a spouse. I'm dying on the inside clawing away scratching away.

That's all I can ever think about. Practically if you're not that person then you can just stay single. And by the way maybe the right guy will come along and all those feelings will change. Maybe the right lady will come along and all those feelings will change.

Singleness is good. Lots of opportunities to serve. Concentrate on gospel work without being distracted by sexual needs. Paul says that's excellent. The other option those found in verse 9. Here's the other option for the people of God if you do have nagging dominating thoughts of sexual intimacy and you can't serve without this distraction.

Paul has a word for you. And that is a command. And it's get married Mary. If you can't serve without the distraction of unfulfilled sexual passion Mary is the only command in the section verse 9. But if they cannot exercise self-control they should what Mary.

For it's better to marry than to burn with passion. Paul says this is a solution. This harkens back to chapter 7 verses 1 to 6. Doesn't it. God makes sexual creatures. It's good in his plan he designs people to enjoy that in marriage.

And then if you have those desires and you have those hormones and you have that need it's okay to get married. There's nothing sinful about it. It's not wrong so you know. But but I vowed that I would stay single.

Well that was a stupid vow. And repent and keep moving. You're not trapped by the vow of celibacy. The solution is to get married. If you can't live a happy joy life without the nagging desire to be with someone.

Especially some of these people the power writing to were already married. They'd already enjoyed that with the spouse. Paul says get married. It's okay. Now the best translation is found in the King James.

Listen to it. Don't turn to your King. Well if you've got King James you can look at it. But but if they cannot contain by the way a very proper language it's all just perfect for public proclamation.

But if they cannot contain let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion is added. So what do you mean burn. There are two options to burning. Number one this option FF Bruce's option.

I think it's the wrong option. But it's to burn in hell. If you have desires of sexual intimacy and you are fulfilling those desires outside of marriage premarital sex extramarital sex. And that continues on and on and on and on like a lifestyle.

1st Corinthians chapter 6 verse 9 and 10 says what you won't inherit the King of God and you will eventually. What. Burn in hell. Now some people think it's that day of judgment. The Dewey reams Bible translation says.

But they do not contain themselves. Let them marry. For it is better to marry than to be burnt. That's one option. But the way better option especially in all the context that we've been working through week after week is exactly what the NIV has NAS and ESP to burn with passion.

That's where we get the word pyro to burn. So Paul with with wonderful frankness but he's still the street. He says if you've been married before and now you're not. If you're always single or you're a widow or divorce somehow has happened and you can be content.

Gospel ministry serve the body. But if you can't be and you're burning with passion with a desire for intimacy you have only one option to exercise your sexuality as it were. And that is in the marriage bed.

Hebrews 13 says it's undefiled. Burning is used many times in pagan resources and pagan literature as unregulated passion. Couples of flame with love. It's a metaphor for the forces of erotic passion that can't seem to be controlled.

And Paul notice doesn't say. If you have a desire for sexual intimacy then douse that desire with extramarital relations. Douse that desire with premarital relations. Douse that desire with homosexual relations.

He doesn't say that at all. If you have those desires there's one way to quench the thirst in some excuse me proverbs chapter 5. And that is drinking from the fountain of pure water. That is your wife.

If you haven't learned the lesson I'll just tell you the lesson. And that is simple sexual activity never satisfied it's not meant to satisfy. The Old Testament equivalent to this concept is found in Hosea 7.

For they are all adulterers burning like an oven whose fire the baker need not stir from the kneading of the dough till it rises a hot oven burning with lust. You need to get married by the way. Side note.

Here I'm gonna give you a few side notes. If you are engaged to another Christian and you have the silly notion that you're going to get married in five years after you graduate from college and pay off all your bills.

May I disavow you of such a notion. You say well I don't have any of those desires. Well then you want to tell that potential spouse that right away before there's going to be extra trouble. The lack of self-control here found in verse 9 is not well I'm immoral although it may include that.

But the lack of self-control is the struggle as one commentator says with erotic desires chronic distraction and temptation disrupting a life lived out for a gossip for the gospel. And I'd like to say to you as your pastor if you are a single person and you have these desires this this pyro kind of inflamed desire and you'd love to be with the spouse that God chooses for you.

Would you please not fan those flames by pornography. Would you please say to yourself there are certain things I ought not to do. I ought not to flirt. I ought not to say innuendo sexually. I ought not to say things that just fan the flame.

I'm already burning enough. You don't need those extra things. If you're involved in relationship that you're working towards marriage and you ought to save yourself especially if you're the guy. Should I touch the girl or should I not.

I like Elizabeth Elliot's advice and this is the advice we teach our kids at 13 Elizabeth Elliot's mother said never chase boys. By the way some parents I'm watching some of your kids and I try to tell my kids not to do it.

And if you see my kids doing please let me know. But we have the team chasing ministry going on at the church here. I even saw today when I walked upstairs you watch your kids chase the opposite sex with their tongues practically on the floor while you're over there having coffee.

It's happening at Bethlehem Bible Church chasing wagging flirting be careful be involved with your kids. Here's what Elizabeth Elliot said never chase boys and always keep them at arm's length. And you'll never be in a compromising situation.

I also like what her father told her brothers. Never tell a woman you love her until you are prepared to follow that statement immediately with will you marry me. Why would you say all this lovey-dovey romance language.

You know a month into relationship when you know you're not gonna be married for two more years. And feeding the flame and fanning the flames of passion. That's just a bias. I don't have a Bible verse for that.

I think you should not fan the flames of passion by listening to fellow workers and fellow students. Escapades looking inappropriate a lady. I think of Job 31 where Job said I've made a covenant with my eyes if you're a lady and those fans are flame.

I think you should toss out all your Christian romance books even the Amish Christian. There are two options for the single. By the way marriage. This is good for you because we have single people here.