Proverbs Chapter 1 & 2 Review: The Well Dressed Child

Proverbs 1:7–9 and the Picture of the Well-Dressed Child

Ready to begin, so just a couple of brief words here as we continue, this is our, I think it's our fourth session in Proverbs, and just want to review a little bit. This is what we went through so far, the first session that we started, we looked at what is wisdom, and then we looked at an overview of the book of Proverbs, and what kind of book is Proverbs, and remember we spent some time, if you look at Proverbs from, without looking at it from its unique perspective on how it was written and what its intent is, you're gonna miss a lot of the truth.

And the purpose of the book of Proverbs, and how to use Proverbs, and then last month we looked at the beginning of wisdom. Today we're looking at the well-dressed child, okay? Verse seven begins, now this is where we ended off last week, or last month I should say.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and instruction. Now here's where we come to today, verses eight and nine. Hear my son your father's instruction, and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

Indeed they are graceful, graceful, graceful, a wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck, okay? Now in this text, Solomon uses an analogy of a person being dressed up to show the necessity of attaining wisdom, all right?

Proverbs frequently uses word pictures to demonstrate spiritual truth, and I mean we'll see this throughout, think of all the different word pictures. Here we have attire or clothing to demonstrate a spiritual truth.

Proverbs also uses nature, uses all types of different things, animals to demonstrate spiritual truth, and here is a very unique one, all right? The Bible tells us that a man looks at the outside but God looks at the heart, God looks at the heart.

I don't know why that fear of the Lord is up there, all right? First Samuel 16, seven, remember this is where Samuel is looking to anoint the new king, and he's looking at David's brothers, and the Lord says to Samuel, do not look at his appearance over at the height of his stature because I have rejected him, for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart.

This is such an important principle, and this is what Proverbs is getting at. Proverbs uses the natural world, uses the outward appearance of man even, but only as an analogy because it's what inside, it's the heart attitude that is the most important, all right?

So who are the best dressed children? Notice in the text that we looked at, it says that wisdom is like a wreath around the head, or it's like an ornament around the neck. These were some of the ways that in the ancient culture that people would dress up.

Remember, the Olympians. We'll even look at our Olympians today. What does every Olympian strive for? Gold medal, all right, and what do they do? Once they win it, they just take it, they throw it in the drawer.

No, you'll see them for the remainder of the Olympics, no matter where they go, wearing their gold medals around their necks, even when they're spectators at another event. Why? Because that's special to them, and that's what the Olympics is all about, is winning the gold, and so they display that, and people look at that, and they stand in awe.

Here's a gold medal Olympian. In the ancient days, remember, they put laurel wreaths around their heads. That was all they really worked for from an external perspective, so what Proverbs is talking about, what Solomon is talking about here, is looking at, in that culture, just like in our culture, when you're going someplace, well, what do we do with our kids when we're gonna go to a wedding or something like that?

You're gonna go someplace important. We dress them up, put the kids in suits, little girls, it's the nicest dress, et cetera, because we want them to look good, and that's the analogy that Solomon is using here of dressing our children up.

We want them to be well-dressed and appropriate for the instance or the circumstance that you're bringing them to, but now we're gonna get into what really is Solomon really saying, that that's what's important, and of course, the answer is no, because God looks at the heart.

It's the inward quality, so who are the best-dressed children, and what we find, I'm gonna go through some principles here, and then we'll go through some scriptures later. The best-dressed child is the one who has, firstly, who has a teachable spirit.

Remember, one of the first things about wisdom is you have to learn. You have to be able to be willing to be taught. Those who listen to their parents, this is gonna be, you're gonna see this throughout the entire book of Proverbs.

How many times are you gonna say listen, obey, pay heed to? You're gonna see all of these different ways of saying, but the main thing is teachable spirit, and it begins with a child, with those who listen to their parents.

That's why Proverbs is a unique book, and I'm teaching Proverbs again to the homeschoolers starting this year. I took a break, and I went to Psalms last year, but I'm going back to Proverbs because there is no book of the Bible that is more appropriate to young people than the book of Proverbs.

Those who listen to their teachers and elders. When the scripture talks about, heed the instruction of your fathers and mothers, yes, the first instance is to our natural-born parents, but the implication is really to anyone who is in authority over us.

That's why you notice, and especially in the Hebrew culture, they always talked about the fathers in a general sense, and so we see that as well. It's not strictly your genetic mother and father, but anybody who is placed in a position of authority over you.

Those who listen to people God has placed in authority over them. Now, that would be more than even just teachers and elders, but anybody who winds up in a position over them. For example, let's say you leave your child with a babysitter.

The child thinks he can run amok because you can't tell me what to do. That's not a wise child. Those who have a willingness to learn. If you find a child who is not willing to learn, there's a child who's headed for trouble, okay?

One of the things, I've been a boss for most of my adult life. I think I made this argument when I was in my late 20s and a lot of years ago now, and you can see the difference. Some people come in, they're new, and the first thing they're looking, they're anxious to hear, how do you do this job?

Others come in and say, well, I know how to do this, and those are the ones who usually wind up making more mistakes. Those who treasure instruction. These are just different words of saying the same.

Now, look at Proverbs 2 .1. I'm just using this as an example, but you're gonna see this over and over. My son, if you will receive my sayings and treasure my commandments within you, okay? You'll see this over here.

Those who listen and obey. Notice it's not just those who listen. Listening is the first step, but it comes down to listening and then doing, obeying. These are the well-dressed children. Proverbs 7.

Now, notice, you're gonna see, again, you're gonna see this over and over again. How many times? My son, keep my words. Treasure my commandments within you. Keep my commandments and live, and my teaching as the apple of your eye.

Bind them on your fingers, write them on the tablet of your heart. Over and over again, you see the admonition from Solomon, wisest man to ever live, right? What does he say? He says, listen, keep my words, obey, bind them, write them.

These are all figures of speech that are telling us how important it is to listen to godly instruction. A willingness to listen is not enough. That's the first step, but it's not enough, all right? The well-dressed child applies the instruction and then lives it out, okay?

In other words, the best-dressed children are wise. That's what we're looking for, which shouldn't surprise us because that is the entire message of the book of Proverbs. My son, let them not depart from your sight.

Keep sound wisdom and discretion so they will be life to your soul and adornment to your neck. Here's that analogy again, notice, of dressing, looking good, you know? I mean, our society has taken that to the mat, you know, this idea of looking good, right?

Everybody's always, you know, especially with any party, everybody wants to look their best. They want people to notice them even, you know? And so we see that, and that's what Solomon uses because that's not new to our culture.

Everybody likes to look good. One of the things that struck me when the first time that Ginger and I went to the country of Ukraine was we noticed that walking down the streets, now this was in 2001. Walking down the streets, the women were dressed like they were going to parties.

Almost every woman walking down the streets. The only time you didn't see that was if you got into the little villages with the old ladies with their babushkas and things on. But in the city of Kiev, where we were staying, they all were dressed, and I wound up, I asked, you know, our interpreter.

I said, what's, I said, I don't mean to offend and tell me if I do, but I noticed just how dressed up all the women are. She says, there's really no hope in this society. She says, the only thing the women have to look forward to is to dress nice, and they can do that inexpensively.

She said, so they, there is, she even noticed that there was an over-attention to everybody looking good. So it looked like a party. It would be like a Wednesday afternoon, and it looked like they were going out Friday night dancing.

That's how they were dressed. Even when we went to court, the first time we appeared in court in Ukraine, Shane's smiling, he knows what I'm talking about. The court reporter was dressed in a mini dress and with jewelry and the makeup and the hair.

I mean, you would have sworn that she was, you know, she was going to, you know, one of the clubs in New York City, and she was the court reporter. You know, it was incredible. So that's what we see here.

We see Solomon using that as an example. Proverbs 4, eight to 10, prize her and she will exalt you. She will honor you if you embrace her. She will place on your head a garland of grace. She will present you with a crown of beauty.

Hear my son and accept my sayings. The years of your life will be many. Notice, too, that wisdom is mostly referred to as her. We'll get to, when we get to chapter eight, we'll do an exposition of why wisdom is referred to as she, but I just want to point that out now.

So when you're seeing those, well, that's not politically correct. We shouldn't be using just her, right? And in our society, that would be offensive to many people. But notice Solomon uses her and she as wisdom, okay?

And again, look at Proverbs 4, eight to 10. Notice we've been bouncing around a little bit, just taking things out, but leaving them in the context. Notice, again, what is it? Garland of grace on the head, all right?

Crown of beauty, accepting the wisdom. In other words, you have to not only dislisten, but to have to obey. Through Proverbs, though Proverbs addresses these admonitions directly to children, they apply to adults as well.

I don't want to give anybody here the impression of, okay, this is for dads to teach their children. The admonitions in Proverbs are for all of us, all right? Now, why would I say that these words of wisdom apply to adults, all right?

Instead of because it sounds like it's being addressed specifically to children. Couple of reasons. First, because some adults have never received biblical training. Many people come to faith. Many of us grew up in households where there was no scriptural admonition.

So the teaching of wisdom, what wisdom did you get? Quote, the wisdom of the world, which according to Proverbs is not wisdom at all, all right? I put foolishness, all right? So that's why the book of Proverbs is relevant, not just to young people, but to moms and dads as well, because not everybody has received biblical training as a child.

Another reason, some who have received biblical training have turned from it. You may have grown up in a Christian household. You may have received, if you're a Sunday school student, you went to church, you went to youth group, you did all of those things, and your parents were teaching you diligently, but then turned from it.

And so we need to be retrained when we come to Christ. And so we come to Christ as spiritual babes, and therefore all the instruction that is listed as listen, my son, or listen, my daughter, applies to all of us as well, okay?

And then we all need a reminder because of the temptation that surrounds us in the world. Even those who grew up in the church and have come to faith at an early age and are living for Christ, we all face temptation on a daily basis.

And there's not a person in this room, not a member of our church that is not subject to temptation, when you go out into a workplace and whatnot. So we need this type of training as a constant reminder of what the benefits are of attaining wisdom and walking in wisdom, as opposed to those who stray from it and fall into the temptation.

I wish I could remember the name of the pianist. He said, somebody asked him how he kept so sharp, and he kept saying it was practice. He says he practiced every day. He said, if I don't practice for one day, he says, I know it, I can hear it.

He said, if I don't practice for two days, he says, the orchestra conductor, he knows it. If I don't practice for three days, the whole world knows it. And there's a lot of wisdom in that. He recognized that for him to stay sharp, he needed to practice every single day.

And that's an admonition to us, even though we're gonna be instructing our children in wisdom, we need to understand that we need to practice God, and that we need to put wisdom into practice every single day of our lives.

The moment you let down. Oh, in fact, somebody once asked me in a counseling session, I was talking about this, the dangers of temptation. And they asked a question, they said, well, isn't there some time in the Christian life you can sit down, kick off your shoes and just sit back and just relax and not think about any of this?

I says, well, let me just tell you, Peter says that Satan is like a roaring lion prowling around seeking whom he may devour. You think that he's gonna, oh, he's relaxing, I'm gonna pass him by, I'm not gonna bother him, he needs his rest.

I don't think so. You know, if you take a hungry lion, all right, and he sees prey, and if that prey has got his shoes off and sitting back and relaxing, you know, smoking a Cuban. Now you get my drift, yes.

Those who do not listen are the worst stressed children, just looking at the convert side now, all right? Those who talk back, okay? Those who think they know more than their parents, all right? The Bible calls them scoffers, spoilers.

All right, Proverbs 13, one, a wise son accepts a father's discipline, but a scoffer does not listen to the Jew. The Bible calls these individuals fools. Remember that in Proverbs in particular, foolishness as opposed to wisdom, and these are moral distinctions, not intellectual ones.

It's not a question that somebody is uneducated or maybe their IQ is a little bit lower. You can have somebody who has a low IQ and they can still be a very wise individual, biblically speaking. So these are the worst stressed children.

The foolish child says, I can't wait to get out from my parents' authority, all right? And then they go and join the Marines. I can't tell you how many times I've come across it. I just can't wait to get out.

I'm tired of being told what to do. And then they go and join the Marines. Over and over again, you see it. Then they learn, because you don't have a choice in the Marines what you're gonna learn. The Bible teaches that reproof and instruction are a way of life.

You're never gonna, I don't care what position you find yourself in. I don't care if you wind up, you know, being the Supreme Allied Commander or the Grand Kuba of the Lodge. There's instruction and reproof are a way of life.

Only a fool believes he can get away from being told and being underneath somebody's authority, all right? That's a delusion, all right? Look at Proverbs 6. My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother.

Bind them continually on your heart. Tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you. When you sleep, they will watch over you. And when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light and reproofs for discipline are the way of life.

Now, notice what it says. They are the way of life. These are the ones that lead to life. But besides being a way to the light, they are also a way of life. In other words, you're never gonna get away from this, from somebody, the commandments, the teaching for the whole time you're here on earth, okay?

Proverbs 15 .5, a fool rejects his father's discipline, but he who regards reproof is prudent. And then this brings us up to 2 Timothy 3, 16 and 17. And again, we've looked at this verse and these two verses in particular in this church numerous times for different reasons.

But here, notice, all scriptures inspired by God or God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be equipped perfectly.

And I prefer this translation, by the way, so that the man of God may be perfectly equipped for every good work, because that's really what it says. We have a, adequate is not the best translation from the Greek to the English, okay?

Because we have a tendency of thinking of, oh, he's just adequate, you know? But in the Greek, it means that you are perfectly equipped, all right, for every good work. And notice, what is it talking about now?

Our spiritual life, notice what it says. It's the word of God, it's profitable or it's useful for teaching, all right? And another translation for reproof would be conviction. We have a tendency, too, of thinking of reproof in a negative sense, but it's not simply negative.

It can be, but it's also a positive sense, it's conviction. When the word of God is impressed upon your heart, it convicts you of your sin and drives you to repentance, okay, still looking at the worst-dressed children.

God has placed those in authority over you for a reason, okay, and if you're a believer in Jesus Christ, it's always for your good, all right? They are exactly what you need. You ever have a bad day with the boss and you walk away from, you know, I don't need this.

You're a believer in Jesus Christ, exactly what you need, because he will not allow anything to come into your path that is not for your good, all right? You may not always agree with him, all right? If you rebelliously leave whatever circumstances, you will find yourself in a worse condition.

Notice I put rebelliously leave, all right? If you find yourself in a bad position, whether it's a work-related position or whatever it happens to be, and you leave in a rebellious way, all right, you're gonna find yourself, what's the old expression?

Out of the frying pan and into the fire, all right? All right, it's foolish thinking that looks short-term instead of long-term. If you find yourself in a bad position, there may be, I'm not saying that the Bible says you must always stay there, but to leave in a way that is not pleasing to God or not in a godly way.

There's a godly way to get out of a bad circumstance and there's an ungodly way, you know? Punching your boss in the mouth is not the right way to get out of the circumstance. It'll get you out of it, but not the right way, all right?

Listen to some Proverbs as they contrast fully. Well, let me, you know, before we even get into that, let me just explore that a little bit. You follow what I'm talking about, like let's say you find yourself in a situation where you have an overbearing boss who's unfair, you know, he doesn't listen to reason.

He's the epitome of a fool and you have to work for him, all right? You have to look at that and say, God has placed me here for a reason, all right? And if it's just to, maybe it's just for your sanctification, but maybe it's to influence him for the better, you don't know.

You can't look at it and say, this is a big mistake. No, you're there by divine appointment and you need to understand that and try to learn while you're there. I'm not saying that you have to stay in those circumstances.

In fact, there might be some circumstances where what he's asking you to do is ungodly and then you would have to take a stand and maybe even leave. I'm not saying that it's always wrong to leave. What I'm saying is it's wrong to leave if the way you leave is in a rebellious manner.

Does that make sense? I just want to clarify that. I'm not saying that no matter what, certainly you have to stay there. I'm not saying that at all. But if you do have to leave, you have to make sure that you're leaving for the right reasons and make sure that all of your decisions are based upon the scripture.

One of the things I tell cops when I'm asked to counsel with police officers, and this will frequently happen because supervisors change on a regular basis on the police department. Guys come up, they get promoted, then they get transferred out.

And guys say, that's it, I'm tired of this boss and I just can't take any longer, I'm transferring out of here. And I would tell them, you really like the job that you're in. Well, yeah. And then why would you transfer out?

Well, because the boss is unbearing. I think, sit still, wait, pray about it. Bosses have to have the coming and going. And pretty soon he's gonna be gone, you're still gonna be here. Don't make a rash decision based upon your supervisor.

Because again, this too shall pass, as they say. And it happens over and over again. You talk to any cop who's been on any length of time and they'll tell you, my eight years in homicide, spent eight years there.

Know how many different COs I had? Seven. Not all of them were good. And if I had decided that I just can't work for this guy and left, he would have gone and then I would have seen what a mistake it was for me to leave.

Because I loved that job. And God used even those, I'm trying to choose my words carefully, those gentlemen. And he used them in my life and even in the course of our investigations. In fact, some of those guys caused my men to unify as a team more than when we had the good bosses.

We had a common enemy. All right, who are the worst-dressed children? Proverbs 10 .1. Proverbs says, Solomon, a wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish son is a grief to his mother. Notice the synonymous, no, I'm sorry, the antithetical parallelism.

Proverbs 15 .20, a wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man despises his mother. Proverbs 70 .21, he who begets a fool does so to his sorrow and the father of a fool has no joy. Notice the constant theme, a foolish son is a grief to his mother and bitterness to her who bore him.

19 .13, a foolish son is destruction to his father and the contentions of a wife are a constant gripping. The father of a righteous will greatly rejoice and he who begets a wise son will be glad in him.

This, I talked about the contentions of a wife are a constant gripping. There's another proverb, which we'll get to eventually, and it says, better to sit in the corner of a roof than to dwell in a house with a contentious woman.

A young couple that I married, this was before Hope, and I had counseled with them and we had gone through some proverbs, et cetera, and what happened was they got into an argument. The young bride was kind of nagging him.

He never said a word. He went out to the garage, he got a ladder, put it up against the house and went up and sat on the corner of his roof. And she comes out, she looks at him, she says, okay, I get it.

And it worked, the whole argument was diffused. So. I took my ladder out. Yeah. But I just found that amusing. I mean, he took it a little too literally, but. 2711, be wise, my son, and make my heart glad that I may reply to him who reproaches me.

Again, look at all this, okay. Now, there's a twofold message for parents, all right, in this section of proverbs, all right. First, in order to see wisdom in your children, you must be wise teachers.

All of these proverbs talking about, listen to your father, listen to your mother. The presumption here is that your mother and father are godly people, all right. That's who Proverbs is addressing, all right.

So you must learn how to give biblical advice. There are some people, even within the church, who can give horrible advice. It's gotta be biblical. That's why true biblical counseling is not giving advice, if you've been following the series that we're doing on Tuesday nights in biblical counseling.

Biblical counseling is not giving advice. Biblical counseling is taking somebody to the scripture and showing them what the scripture says. So the expertise of the counselor is knowing what the scripture says and the ability to lead them to the scripture.

And it's the same thing for parents. You have to know the scriptures and be able to lead your children through the biblical teaching. You must know the scriptures and impart that wisdom to your children.

Second, that means you must be practicing wisdom in your daily life. The old adage, do as I say, not as I do, is not biblical. It's very gratifying, but it's not biblical. So your children, all right, your children will follow your example before they follow your words.

And they'll sniff out hypocrisy at the first instance. If you're telling them to do something and you're doing exactly the opposite, they will absolutely know it, all right? Harry Chafin, who remembers Harry Chafin?

Okay, these young guys don't remember. Harry Chafin, he was a Long Island boy who made it really big in the country and the folk music. And he sang a song, Cats in the Cradle, all right? Remember what Cats in the Cradle is all about?

Young dad has a child, never has time for him. I'm sorry, I'm busy and going away, et cetera, et cetera. And then when he gets old, his child is grown and what happens? He says, oh, sorry, I can't spend time with your dad.

That's the essence of it. It's a very powerful song. Talk about how his son wound up to grow up to be just like he was. And when he did, he didn't like it, okay? Listen to the song, it's a good song. Notice the emphasis on fathers and mothers throughout the book of Proverbs, all right?

You see, this is just one verse in particular. Hear my son, verse eight in Proverbs one. Hear my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching, okay? This is a synonymous parallelism, right?

It's not two different things, okay? It's basically saying the same thing. You remember what synonymous parallelism is? Hear my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

It's two ways. In other words, mom and dad should be teaching the same body of knowledge, okay? And this is just a way of emphasizing that. So both father and mother are important in the teaching of children.

Dads are the spiritual leaders in the home and that's why we're addressing most of this to dads because you have that unique position. You are the spiritual leader in your home. Whether you're doing it or not is up to you, all right?

You can't advocate and say, well, mom knows more than me so I'm gonna let her take care of this. No, you are still the spiritual leader in the home. She may be doing most of the teaching but you're responsible, all right?

We need to understand that. Therefore, they are ultimately responsible for the behavior of their children which stems from their spiritual condition, all right? Obviously, we can't force our children to be saved but we can lead them in that direction.

We can instruct them in the way of godliness, make sure that they understand the consequences of sinful actions, et cetera and we're ultimately responsible. Even in our society, you understand that that if your child, a young child does something, you may be held financially responsible for what that child does, okay?

The pattern for fatherhood comes from God himself. Ephesians 3, 14, 15, for this reason, I bow my knees before the father from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. God revealed himself as father for a reason, all right?

And one of those reasons is to be an example as how we are to be fathers to our children in the same way that he is our father, right? The biblical model for families is dad and mom working together to instruct their children in wisdom and that means there has to be unity in the household.

If you do not have a unified household between mom and dad, the kids will never grow up to be disciplined. It's just not gonna happen because they'll prey on that disunity. Kids can sniff out what mom and dad are together and they will exploit it.

They are master manipulators and they can see it. Yes, I'm talking about our children. Remember, the tea is true. The goal is to prepare them to be godly adults. Too often we say we're trying to train our children to be good children.

Yeah, but more than that, we'd wanna train them to be godly adults. We wanna train them for adulthood. All right, the rewards for the well-dressed child. First reward is wisdom itself. Wisdom is one of those things.

Wisdom is itself its own reward. A child will be so much better off if you teach them godly wisdom and they can exercise that. Just the fact that they have wisdom is a reward in itself, all right? Wisdom is its own reward.

A wise person is used to advance the kingdom of God. They will exhibit the fruit of the spirit. Second reward is length of days. Proverbs 3, one to two. My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments.

For a length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Length of days and peace. We'll get to peace in a minute. Honor your father and mother that your days may be prolonged in the land with the Lord your God gives you.

No question there's a principle involved that a person who honors his mother and father, remember Paul repeats this again in Ephesians 6, that there's in general, the general principle is that you can live a long life.

Third reward is a successful life that you may live long enough that it may be well with you and the whole context of that being well with you is that you will have light wisdom will be displayed in your life, all right?

And that is the blessed person. Look at the Beatitudes, look at Psalm 1, how blessed is the man, okay? All right, Deuteronomy 16, honor your father and mother as the Lord your God has commanded you that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you in the land.

And that's it for today.