Keep sharing good news without ads.
No description available
So we're going to in our time with we've already looked at being faithful in trials Being faithful with our tongue being faithful to obey and now we're going to look at being faithful in Our friendships to have biblical friendships, which I hope you have at least one.
In fact several years ago Somebody said to me a statement. I have not forgotten. She said Susan if you have one true friend in your lifetime, you are indeed blessed. With that in mind, we might ask the question as we open our final session What is a friend?
What is a friend? Well in the human realm, we might define it like this way and I found this the a through Z of friendship a. A Accepts you as you are. B believes in you. C calls you just to say hi. D Doesn't give up on you.
E Envisions the whole of you even the unfinished parts. F forgives your mistakes. G gives unconditionally. H helps you. I Invite you over. J just want to be with you. K keeps you close at heart. L loves you for who you are.
M makes a difference in your life in Never judges. Oh offers supports. P picks you up. Q quiets your fears. R Raises your spirits. S says nice things about you. T tells you the truth when you need to hear it.
You understand you. V values you. W walks beside you. F Explains things you don't understand. Y yells when you won't listen and Z zaps you back to reality. Now actually, those are pretty good qualities for a friend, aren't they?
But ladies have you ever stopped to think about how Jesus defines a friend? What does the Bible say about this topic and especially when we think about biblical friendships? And we will see some of those qualities in this session.
But we're gonna see things are just a little bit tad differently. We could have gone to a lot of places. We could have looked at Jonathan and David's friendship. We could have gone to several biblical friendships.
But I thought for our time together as we close being a faithful woman in a faithless age we would look at a very warm epistle and Look at the friendship the relationship between Paul and Timothy and as we do this We're gonna look at six Qualities in a friend that I think you would be wise and in choosing your friends because as I mentioned I know a lot of women who have fallen spiritually just due to their friends.
They keep you know Paul says in 1st Corinthians bad company corrupts good morals. And so if you don't be sure that the people you hang out with the most are godly Women you're gonna find yourself in trouble.
Especially as our world becomes more corrupt and we know it will because the Bible says evil men will become worse and worse. So all these qualities for a friend start with the letter s and so hopefully it will be easy for you to remember.
So in order to look at this relationship and what we want to look for in a friendship, let's turn to Philippians 2. Philippians 2. And we're gonna look at verses 19 through 24 in this session. Philippians 2 19 to 24.
Notice what Paul says? He says but I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy Shortly to you that I also may be of good comfort when I know your state for I have no one Like-minded who will naturally care for your state all are seeking their own not the things which are Jesus's.
But you know the proof of him that is a son with the father. He served with me in the gospel Him therefore. I hope to send presently as as soon as I shall see how it will go with me. But I trust in the Lord Jesus that my set by myself will come shortly now as we start with verse 17 Paul uses a word but which is often a contrast and we don't have time to Get into all of the background of Philippians or what is going on?
But just basically Paul is in Rome in prison. He's chained to a guard. He knows that soon he might be beheaded by Nero and he knows that his life is one of a continual sacrifice. He mentions that in the previous verses.
And so when he uses the word but here it's a word of contrast and he knew that his Life was one of continual sacrifice. He knew that literally his life may become soon a physical sacrifice by Nero beheading him.
But even though Paul says this even though I face dangers even though I know my blood might be poured out literally. He says I still hope look. I still hope I Trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy shortly to you.
And it's interesting that Paul mentions here that he hopes in the Lord because ladies anything we hope to do in this life Should be if the Lord wills right James that we already just left. He says that come now you who say today or tomorrow we're gonna go here and go there in such a city and buy and sell.
Again, he says you don't even know what what's gonna happen tomorrow. You ought to say what if the Lord wills we will do this and we will do that. And so James brother Paul realizes that as well. And so this is he mentions Timothy here and this is not the first time that he mentions Timothy in this epistle.
In fact, he mentions Timothy 18 times in this little epistle of Philippians and so we need to ask the question before we look at their friendship and their relationship and the six qualities that we also want to Look for in getting a friend.
We need to Figure out how they met, you know, who is this Timothy? We know that Paul and Barnabas met Timothy on their first missionary journey and on that first missionary journey Timothy was converted to the gospel and let me say this before we go on.
Isn't that a great way to start a friendship? I mean go out and share the gospel with someone and then they come to faith in Christ and then you become best buds. Isn't that great? So I think that's a great way to start a friendship.
Remember Timothy was chosen by Paul in his second missionary journey to accompany him because remember he was well spoken of. We also know he had a great-grandmother and a mother Lois and Eunice that instructed him in the ways of the Lord.
We know his father was not a Christian. His father was a Greek. But I think this should encourage you as mothers and grandmothers that you can have a great impact on your children and who knows if One of us isn't raising a Timothy.
Wouldn't that be great? And so Paul calls him here his dearly beloved son in fact. He calls him this often he often talks about Timothy his beloved son his dearly beloved son and The things like that.
So he tells the church at Philippi. He says I hope to send him shortly. Not immediately. I mean member Paul's getting ready to face trial. He's probably going to be beheaded by Nero and so he says I'm not going to send him to you right now.
But I am going to send him to you shortly and we know indeed that he eventually did. So the first quality I think that we see here of a genuine friend when we look at Timothy. Especially his friendship with Paul is one who has a servant's heart.
One who has a servant's heart. Paul said I trust in the Lord to send Timothy Shortly to you now ladies if you know anything and I wish we had time to look at Acts and we look at first and second Timothy and some of those passages, but we don't but you know what I found about Timothy.
He was willing to go wherever Paul needed him to go. He was willing to be a servant and I'm sure Timothy, you know, his his mentor is right there in prison. He wants to stay with him. He wants to stick with him to the end.
But Paul says no I'm gonna send you shortly. You need to go back at the church at Philippi. See how they're doing and so Timothy was willing to go and the reason was because no one else would go in verse 21.
Look, they're all seek their own not the things which are Jesus Christ. And so there were others that could go back to Philippi. But Timothy was the only one who was willing and you know. That's one of the qualities of love according to first Corinthians 13 love does not seek its own.
It does not seek its own and Paul has already said in this epistle in Philippians that we don't look out for our own interest. But we look out for the interest of others. And so ladies, I think this should cause us to examine our hearts.
When we consider this passage because when we're thinking about biblical friendship, it's not that you give in to your friend all the time. But you know some of us we kind of bristle. When our friend asks us to do something and you know.
We don't or even our husband asks us to do something. And by the way, he should be one of your good friends and so we don't want to accommodate someone else but not Timothy in fact I have to tell a story on Debbie one time because I always look at her as a Timothy to me because we've been traveling Now for about 13 years together and I've asked her to do some pretty weird things on the road.
But one one one thing really comes out really clear and we were in Florida I think it was and we had an early morning flight to catch so I said Debbie you you know. Get everything straightened up in here that we need to.
I'm gonna go downstairs and get the elevator cart and I'll be back up. So I went downstairs. It was like 4 30 in the morning. There's no hotel clerk or anything and I get that cart that I'm gonna put on the elevator and as about the time I'm getting ready to do it these two men come in and they're drunk and so they get into the elevator and then they start doing this to Me like come on in and I'm like coming in there.
So I Leave the elevator cart go down the hall go upstairs, but I think we were on the second or third floor I don't know. Do you remember Deb if we were on the second or third floor where we were third floor?
Yeah, so I walk in she goes where's the elevator cart? I said it's downstairs in the lobby and we're gonna go down there. We're gonna go down all three flights of stairs and then we're gonna carry it up through it.
She said we're gonna do what and I said, well, there's two men in the elevator. They're very drunk and I said, I don't there's no hotel clerk down there and I said, I don't feel very safe. So she said only for you, but I do this so we did we went downstairs got the cart dragged it up three flights of stairs and Eventually when we opened the elevator, they were gone.
I was very thankful. But Anyway, that's why Timothy was wherever Paul wanted to send him. Whatever, you know, he would do it now. There was a reason Paul wanted to send Timothy to them. Notice what he says so that I can be encouraged when I know your state so I can be encouraged and be of good Comfort when I know your state it isn't an interesting Paul doesn't mention himself here at all.
I'm gonna send Timothy so he can tell you how bad things are here in prison for me. He can tell you about me being chained to a Roman soldier. He can tell you that hardly have any food or water in this place, but not Paul.
He doesn't say that at all. He said I'm going to send Timothy because I want to know how you are. I want to know how you're doing. Remember Paul started the church at Philippi. In fact, the word encouraged comes from a word well or good or the word soul.
You know what Paul's saying? My soul will be comforted. My soul will be well when I hear about how you all are doing. Ladies Paul was a man that was concerned about his spiritual children. He was concerned for them and that should be the heart of each of us.
And I think Paul and Timothy are certainly contrast to most in our culture that care only about themselves. We are such a narcissistic culture. I cannot. I saw a t-shirt recently that said it was a girl's t-shirt and it said He offered me the world and I said I have my own and I thought isn't that our culture?
You know, it's all in fact. There was a Christian conference in the last couple of I think it was the last decade or so in Tulsa. It was at a Christian University. I used that term lightly and it was a Christian woman's conference and the conference theme was it's all about me.
And I thought boy if that doesn't describe our culture it's all about me. Well not Paul and Timothy. It wasn't they were concerned. Timothy was concerned for Paul. Paul's concern for the church at Philippi ladies.
We've all been around people who merely want to talk about themselves never taking an interest in others and that can be very Difficult at times. In fact, I remember. As a pastor's wife, you know, I try to greet all the new people that come in and several years ago There was a new family that came to our church and I went up to her and I said, hi, my name is Susan.
Heck I'm the pastor's wife and she goes hi I'm so-and-so and I can't wait for you to get to know me and I'm like, okay. That was a really weird thing to say but you know, that was a little bit of a red flag and you know I found it true.
For the next ten years I got to know her eventually she was a part of a big old mess in our church and there ended up being church. Discipline not with her but should have been and I mean, that's all I heard for the next ten years.
Her her it's all about her. Ladies, that's really hard to be around people like that, but not Paul and Timothy. Timothy's concern for Paul. Paul's concern for the church at Philippi. Well Paul goes on in verse 20 to let us in on the second reason that Timothy was such a good friend.
I have no one like-minded who will naturally care for your state. Paul begins by telling them no one else is like-minded with him, but Timothy interesting word here. It comes from two Greek words equal and soul.
So it means Paul and Timothy were activated by the same motives. They were one in soul one in spirit and one in character. Their souls were equal. Ladies, the second quality then of a biblical friend would be one who is a soul mate a soul mate.
One who has the same goal same soul same heart same motives in life same goals. In fact, this reminds me of two other men in Scripture that I mentioned a while ago David and Jonathan. Listen to what first Samuel 18 one says about these two men.
It says now when he had finished speaking to Saul the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him. As his own soul. Jonathan and David were soul mates. In fact, remember when Jonathan dies David writes this lament.
It's it's very grieving and it says in 2nd Samuel 1 23 Saul and Jonathan were beloved and pleasant in their lives and in their death. They were not divided. They were swifter than eagles. They were stronger than lions.
Oh daughter of Israel weep over Saul who clothed you in scarlet with luxury. Who wrapped ornaments of gold on your apparel. How the mighty have fallen in the midst of the battle. Jonathan was slain in high places.
I'm distressed for you my brother Jonathan. You've been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was wonderful. Surpassing the love of women and no they were not homosexual as some have tried to prove they were knit together in soul.
They had one goal one mind one heart for the nation of Israel. Ladies that is a beautiful description of a friend a soul mate as my mentor. Well put it if you have one friend like that in your lifetime.
You're fortunate if you have one friend, that is a soul mate. Well, Timothy was not only like-minded with the Apostle Paul, but notice what else he says. He says he will sincerely Care for your state and ladies.
That is the third quality of a genuine friend. They're selfless. They're selfless not selfish selfless. This describes someone who not only cares for you, but they care for others. Ladies, listen to me very carefully if you have a woman friend or even a husband That only cares for you and is possessive and jealous.
That should be a red flag. I've had women friends like that. They don't want me being with anybody else, you know, that is not God honoring that's a selfish Possessive love. In fact, this type of love is condemned in 1st Corinthians 13.
Paul says love does not envy it doesn't envy and so if you have a possessive friend I Would caution you about that because they should be concerned for others. They should not be selfish. Love gives it doesn't doesn't look to get it gives and so be leery of possessive Relationships that don't want you ministering to others.
In fact when I first started traveling and teaching we worked in the church we're in now, but We were in a different church. My husband was pastoring and I remember one woman came up to me and she goes.
So you just gonna forget about us as you go around travel and teach and I was like wow. That's really weird thing to say and I said no. I said my responsibility here at this church is my primary you women are my primary Responsibility thing that else the Lord allows is just you know more opportunities to serve him.
But ladies, we should be leery of people that are possessive in Relationships we should want others to enjoy the gifts of those that we love. Timothy was sincere. He was selfless. He was sincere and that he had concern for the needs of others and their people and the people.
In fact Timothy had been with Paul in that first missionary journey to Philippi remember he was instrumental in helping Paul Chart start the church at Philippi and so it would be only natural that he would care for the people there.
You might say well, why would Paul want to send Timothy? I mean, why would he want to send him back to Philippi wasn't wasn't he dependent on him there in prison? Could he really afford to spare him at this time of need?
Well, it is apparent that Paul did indeed tried to send someone else to check on them. But notice verse 21 All are seeking their own not the things which are Christ Jesus. In fact, the phrase for all seek their own is in reference to the others who are with Paul and Timothy at this time.
There is a speculation. It's not biblical. But there's a speculation according to church history that Paul actually wanted others to visit Philippi along with Timothy. But many of them declined. They didn't want to go if you know anything.
It was an 800 mile journey from Rome to Philippi. And as I mentioned earlier the average traveler could only walk about 20 miles per day. And there was a lot of dangers. Remember Paul talks about this in 1st Corinthians.
There's dangers in the city. Dangers in the wilderness and there's you know, the Even bears and wolves would attack the travelers. They could be robbed by thieves. And so who wants to do that? Who wants to go who an 800 mile journey go back to Philippi and see how they're doing.
Who wants the possibility of getting being? Attacked by a bear or a wolf. Who wants see who wants the you know. The possibility of a thief robbing you. And so all these other people that were there with Paul at this time.
They didn't want to go. All were seeking their own. Not the things which were Christ Jesus. Ladies, Timothy was in sharp contrast to the ones that Paul mentions here. Beware of people who appear to be righteous and Yet do not seek the cause of Christ in his kingdom.
Beware of that beware of people who are not willing to practice self denial. One man says no wonder people have so little joy. Joy comes in giving of yourself to others. The more selfish we are the less we experience real joy.
Why is it so hard to learn that lesson? The answer is simple because we're so selfish and self-centered. We just don't see it. In fact, I think this should be America's slogan all seek their own. Don't you?
I mean, that's the instead of in God. We trust on our coinage because we don't trust in him anymore, right? All seek their own. That's pretty much the United States of America. In fact, I like what Warren Weir's B Says he says in a very real sense.
We either live Philippians 121 or 221. You know what? 121 says for me to live as Christ to die is gain. What is 221 say all seek their own so either you're living for Christ or you are seeking? Your own way.
However before we go on Paul is gracious. I like that about Paul. I need to learn from him. He doesn't mention who these guys are, you know, I you know, maybe he studied James and he's like I can't use my tongue for that but Paul covers their sin, you know.
He doesn't say well this guy didn't want to go and this guy didn't want to go this guy didn't want to go. Only Timothy would go but Paul doesn't do that. Well, Timothy had a servant's heart. He was a soul mate of Paul's and he was selfless.
And if that isn't enough Paul goes on to mention a fourth quality of Timothy his true friend in verse 22. You know the proof of him that is a son with the father. He has served with me in the gospel. Paul says you guys know this Timothy helped me start this church.
You guys know his character, you know his proven character. He's genuine. He's trustworthy. Ladies this is the fourth quality of a true friend sincere sincere. Genuine real. Timothy was genuine. He was a man with no hypocrisy.
You know, I think probably one of the most hurtful or devastating things that can happen in a friendship. And I've had this happen to me many times. I remember a lady one time. I work side-by-side in ministry with and she told me I Don't know.
She told me one day. She said Susan I'd walk on glass for you. I was like, wow, that's pretty that's pretty bold. I don't think I'd walk on glass for anybody and then two weeks later. She took that glass and stabbed me in the back.
It was very devastating time. And they we've all had that we've all had people that we thought that loved us and we loved them. We had a great relationship and for no apparent reason they turn their backs on you and stab you in the back.
But not Timothy he was genuine he was sincere. He was not a hypocrite in fact they tell us Timothy was probably in his early 30s at this time when Paul wrote this epistle and Yet he was very experienced in the character of being sincere being without Hypocrisy and not only that but Paul goes on to mention a fifth quality of Timothy.
He says he is as a son with the father. In other words Timothy manifested the same spirit that a son would with his father. And so this is the fifth quality that you want to look for in a friend the same spirit that a son has with a father.
Now you might say what are you talking about? Well, we've all heard the phrase like father like son right. In fact, I've seen that in My own son's relationship with his dad. In fact, sometimes when Charles calls me if I didn't know better I would think it was my husband's voice.
They walk alike. In fact, he has a son also named Jackson and sometimes I look at the two of them and I'm like. They're the spitting image of each other and a true friend will have a spirit of a son with a father.
You might say well, what does that mean? Well, it means you respect what your friend says and you listen as a son would with the father. In fact, my son is almost 40 and yet I I mean, I know he loves and respects me.
I don't doubt that at all, but I do know that my son loves and respects his father far more. In fact next year, they're both pastors next year. They're going on a study break together now my son's never asked me to go on a study break with him and He does respect his father and he calls his father and asks questions and gets his advice.
Ladies a true fit friend will listen. They'll respect you just like a son does a father first Corinthians 4 17 says for this reason I've sent Timothy to you who is my beloved and faithful son in the Lord.
In First Timothy 1 2 he calls him a true son. So ladies we can see Paul had the affection for Timothy like he would a son and Timothy had the that type of affection for Paul like he would a father and isn't it interesting?
Timothy's real father was not a Christian. He was a Greek and so it's like the Lord provided a spiritual father. For Timothy, even though he did not have a spiritual father in his own father. And so I think this should also give us hope as mothers and grandmothers that God will provide if your husband's an unbeliever.
Your God will provide that spiritual father that you might need for your son. Well the sixth and final quality of a biblical friendship according to the text Serving together in the gospel Paul says is he served with me in the gospel.
The word served here means a servant. It comes from the Greek word doulas, which means to be in the position of a servant and act accordingly. Ladies, listen very carefully. Timothy was a slave not to Paul, but to the Lord.
He was a slave to the Lord and the serving here indicates a very close companionship and notice their relationship was not based on golf or Fishing or hunting even though those are fine things. But notice what it's based on the gospel they serve together with the gospel for the gospel.
That's the good news of the kingdom salvation through Christ. He served with Paul in the gospel, which would indicate a very close Companionship. In fact, this is very close to what Paul says in verse 5 of chapter 1 regarding the Philippians.
Remember their fellowship was in the gospel and we know that Paul was in prison because he defended the gospel. And he hoped to further the gospel by being there in prison. Ladies, the gospel is the reason why the church at Philippi and Timothy were so dear to Paul's heart and I would say this quality of a friend is the most important serving together in the gospel because Without the common denominator of the Lord Jesus Christ and the gospel message.
There's really no. There's no basis for a deep intimate friendship if you both are not born-again Christians and I would encourage you to choose your friends based on this character. In fact in my life I have noticed the the women that I serve side-by-side in the ministry with for the most part are the ones that are my dearest friends and I'm sure you could say that for yourself as well.
Well Paul ends this section regarding Timothy with verses 23 and 24. He says him therefore I hope to send shortly or sin presently as soon as I will see how it will go with me. But I trust in the Lord that I myself will come shortly.
Paul wanted to see the Philippian believers himself, but he'd probably have to send Timothy instead and he says I hope to send him. He'll be my substitute. He will replace me as soon as I know of the Romans decision after my trial.
In fact the words at once indicate that Paul would send Timothy the same hour or at once. As soon as I find out if judgment is going to be pronounced or not on me. And then Paul ends by saying I do trust in the Lord that I myself Will be able to come shortly.
Paul was confident. He would be able to see them again. In fact Biblical evidence points to the fact that Paul did get out of prison this time. He did get to go and see the church at Philippi at least one more time.
According to church history and the hope or trust that Paul had was the same as verse 19 I hope in the Lord that I will get to see you one more time. So What are the six qualities or definitions of a friend according to the text here.
One who has a servant's heart. One who is a soulmate. One who's selfless. One who's sincere. One who has a spirit of a son with a father. And lastly one who serves or shares together With you in the gospel.
Do you have a friend like that? Or maybe a better question is are you that kind of a friend? to someone else. William Channing once said other blessings may be taken away, but if we have acquired a good friend by goodness We have a blessing which improves in value when others fail.
It is even heightened by suffering. In fact another quote that's more simplistic says this friendship divides our grief and doubles our joy. In closing It is said that sometime between the year of 1740 and 1800 there lived a man named John Fawcett and his wife was named Mary and at the age of 26 John and Mary began their ministry at a little church a little Baptist Church in England and After seven years of serving there with a very meager income.
They decided to take a bigger church in London and Naturally the pay would be more and they needed the money and so the wagons were loaded and they were ready to go and they were saying goodbye to their Congregation and John was crying and Mary was crying and Mary finally burst out and she said John I can't bear to leave.
I don't know how to go to which he said I can't either. We're gonna stay here with our people. So they unloaded the wagons and John and Mary continued their faithful ministry in the little village for 54 years with a salary of less than $200 a year.
And you might say why would they do such a thing? Mary said this we just can't break the ties of affection That bind us to you dear friends and so it was said that her husband John wrote many hymns and poems and became actually quite a writer and King George the third was so impressed with him that he promised him any benefit.
He wanted to which John declined and said nope. I've lived among my own people enjoying their love. God has blessed my labors among them and I don't need anything not even what a king could give me and So John decided to express his feelings in a poem about the value of Christian friendship and don't worry I'm not gonna sing it for you.
But I was hoping we could sing it but we didn't get it done in time. But I want to read the words from this hymn and as I do think about true biblical friendship. Think about Paul Timothy or think about a friend you have that meets these biblical qualifications.
Blessed be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love. The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above. Before our father's throne we pour our ardent prayers our hopes our fears our aims are one our comforts and our cares.
We share each other's woes our mutual burdens bear and often for each other flows the sympathizing tear. When we asunder part it gives us inward pain, but we shall be joined in heart and hope to meet again.
This glorious hope revives our courage by the way while each in expectation lives and longs to see the day from sorrow toil and pain and sin we shall be free and Perfect love and friendship reign throughout eternity.
Thank you for your time and your attention. I do pray the Lord will use these messages to Help you be faithful in your trials help you be faithful in your speech your obedience and in your friendships.
Let's pray as we close. Father thank you so much for Biblical friends. I thank you for My husband who certainly has Been this type of a friend to me. I thank you for my children. Thank you for Debbie.
I thank you for other women that have been friends. I think of the two ladies that disciple me Carolyn and fond and Lord how you have Brought them into my life to be the kind of a friend that Timothy was to Paul and Paul to Timothy and father.
I pray we as women would be so careful To pick our friends carefully. I know that your son had Peter James and John as his closest companions. And there was a reason for that. So Lord help us to be wise.
Interesting that Judas was not one of his closest and yet he still Tried to help him and so Lord I do pray that you would help us to be faithful in this faithless world that we live in Faithful in our obedience and our tongues our Trials and also our friendships and Lord in everything.
We need to be faithful in everything. So give us the grace that we need and Lord if we don't meet in this life again. Then I pray that you'll help us to be faithful until we meet on the other side whenever that is.
Help us to be steadfast unmovable always abounding in your work For Christ's sake and his glory. Amen.