Church Soup Ep. 2024-05 (The Solar Eclipse, Mark Driscoll, OJ, and more!)

Welcome back to Church Soup, the award-seeking evangelical news show. I'm your host, Keith Foskey, and this episode of Church Soup is brought to you by the God Bless the USA Bible. This mass-produced Bible features a copy of the U .S. Constitution, the Bill of Rights, hair from the mane of Paul Revere's horse, a photocopy of Ted Nugent's handprint, a box of 45 ACP cartridges, and a post-it note taken from the desk of Donald Trump.

It doesn't say anything. It was just on his desk. Constitution Community Church says they're excited to finally have a Bible that they can be proud of. Our top story. Earlier this month, many Americans gathered to look toward the sky to see one of God's amazing wonders of creation.

The Solar Eclipse and End-Times Speculation

On April the 8th, a complete solar eclipse was visible from certain sections of the United States. Now, as is always the case with any celestial event, there was a lot of speculation about the significance this could have for world events.

You know what April 8th is? It's 4 -8. Like, okay, 4 -8, that's what it is?

Why is that a big deal?

Because Exodus 4, verse 8 is where God Almighty tells Moses, if they will not hear you and believe you for the first sign, they will for the second.

Notice he just stopped, like we're all supposed to know what's happening in his head. But he goes on.

And the place where it first enters in at is this place that is called Eagle Pass. I know what an Eagle Pass is prophetically. Where Jesus himself is talking about the coming of the Lord and he's talking about the rapture of the church.

He calls it where the eagles gather.

Alright, alright, I know this is early in the episode, but I think it's time for another church soup rant. Why does this dude even have a platform? He's standing in an obviously professional studio under very expensive lighting, broadcasting and dazzling 4K, obviously very well funded.

While he's literally making stuff up as he goes along. Nothing this man said was in any way biblical, logical or even coherent.

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought.

Now here's my real issue. This guy is obviously reaching a lot of people when some of the greatest expositors in the world go relatively unnoticed. Guys like my favorite preacher, Brian Borgman. Brian is one of the most godly and faithful men of God in the pulpit today and if you've never heard of him, go look him up.

Grace Community Church in Mendon, Nevada. His type of straightforward and passionate exposition of God's word is what is desperately needed in times like this. So I implore you, if you are making a steady diet of listening to guys like Eagle Boy, please abandon that mess and find yourself an expositor.

It will do your soul good. End of rant. In international news, a video was recently posted of an Eastern Orthodox priest proclaiming an anathema upon all Reformation leaders, including Luther, Calvin and Zwingli, as well as all Protestants in general.

Eastern Orthodox Anathemas Against the Reformers

Martin Luther, John Calvin, Ulrich Zwingli, Henry VIII, the ungodliness king and those assembled together with them and all branches of Protestants. Anathema.

Anathema. Anathema. Anathema.

Listen, I realize that by wearing that fabulous duvet and standing behind a slightly tilted music stand, you feel like your words have some inherent authority, but you need to hear.

This.

Come here, closer. We don't care what you think. Not even a little. In fact, here is my opinion of your anathema in the form of a song.

I don't care, I don't, he doesn't care, I don't care.

Just once, I'd like to be able to look one of these guys in the eyes and just say this.

You have no power here.

Cause trust me bro, you really don't. In entertainment news, recently T .D. Jakes announced that he'll be auditioning for the part of Ursula in the new musical of Disney's The Little Mermaid.

Mark Driscoll, Jezebel, and Worship-Lyric Changes

I would have been, I would have been, I would have been, I would have been.

Some jokes just write themselves, I'm sorry. In Big Eva news, Christians on social media are divided again over Mark Driscoll. A video of Driscoll went viral this past week of him speaking out against a men's event which featured a man dancing around a pole with his shirt off.

Driscoll, who was a speaker at the event, compared the man's dance to the spirit of Jezebel and was immediately rebuked by the event's leader, John Lindell. Driscoll left the stage only to later come back and the two discussed the issue in front of the audience.

Lindell said that he was surprised by Driscoll's comments, especially since he had been part of the event rehearsal. Oh wait, I'm being told that we actually have a video of that rehearsal, so let's go to the tape.

Seems to me like Driscoll should have been tipped off. Moving on. Since I'm now contractually obligated to use my blasphemy joke in every episode of Church Soup, here's a video of a worship band changing the song lyrics of David Crowder's Oh How He Loves Us.

You know it, so say it with me. I hope it was a blast for them, because it was certainly a blast for me. Finally, OJ Simpson has died at the age of 76. He was known for winning the Heisman Trophy, as well as starring in several hit movies, including The Naked Gun.

OJ Simpson's Death and His Public Legacy

Initially, James Cameron wanted OJ to play the Terminator, but ended up casting Arnold Schwarzenegger instead. Undeterred, OJ went on to play that role in real life. Thank you for watching Church Soup.

I want to again thank Protestia for continuing to be a source of some of the videos we use, and if you've never been there, go check them out at protestia .com. If you have a church-related news article you'd like me to include in a future episode, you can send it to us at keithfoskey .com, or just leave a link in the comments with the hashtag church soup.